October 9, 2010
SVH #61, Boy Trouble: Bros Before Hos
Summary: Patty Gilbert (who’s appeared in another book, but I don’t care enough to look up which one) is looking forward to her boyfriend Jim visiting from college for the weekend. Then her older sister Jana shows up unexpectedly and announces that a) she’s engaged and, since her fiancé is in the military and about to be send to Germany, b) they’re getting married in two weeks. So when Jim comes to town, Patty’s expected to spend all her time helping Jana plan the wedding. This leads to a big fight with Jim – who’s, frankly, kind of a jerk for expecting Patty to pick him over her sister – and they break up.
Patty goes to the movies with some friends, on sort of a double date, and sees Jim with another girl. He sees her with the sort-of date and they both get jealous of each other. So now Patty’s free to spend all the time she wants with Jana, but Jana’s no fun to hang out with anymore, since all she talks about is the wedding. This leads to a big fight between her and Patty, in which Patty not only says she doesn’t feel like Jana’s her sister anymore (which makes her seem about 12 years old) but she’s not going to be Jana’s maid of honor (which makes her about eight). They also stop talking to each other and won’t even stay in the same room at the same time, so now they’re both eight.
Elizabeth meddles, shockingly enough, telling Patty that the girl Jim was with was actually his cousin. Wow, what an original, not-at-all-predictable twist! But it’s actually Jana and Patty who work things out themselves. Then Jana encourages Patty to send a letter she wrote to Jim to let him know how sorry she is. Patty doesn’t want to send it, but when Jana finds out that Jim has been ignoring her calls because he was out of town, she sends the letter, then gets her fiancé to pick Jim up for the wedding. Then there’s a wedding, and Patty fades back into the background of characters who occasionally show up but contribute nothing interesting to the series.
In the B plot, DeeDee Gordon has been selling painted T-shirts. Jessica helps her out with a booth at a craft fair, where she meets a guy named Vincent who wants to sell the shirts in his store. Jessica pretends she painted them, thinking he just wants to ask her out. He asks for more shirts, so she tries to paint some herself, but they suck and she gets busted. Jessica actually winds up doing the right thing, coming clean and telling Vincent how to get in touch with DeeDee so she can sell her shirts.
Thoughts: Elizabeth’s eyes “[light] up with pleasure” when she sees Jessica. Uh, ew.
Patty goes on a diet in anticipation of seeing Jim that weekend. Great, she’s one of those girls. (Also, she’s a dancer, so wouldn’t she eat pretty healthy in the first place?)
Jim sees his girlfriend for the first time in a month, his parents are out of the house, and he wants to…make out. Sweet Valley is where sex goes to die.
Patty’s maid of honor dress, as described by Jana: “It’s cornflower blue with tiny white flowers on it, and it has a scooped neckline and little puffed sleeves. She’ll look like a princess in it.” DEATH TO PUFFED SLEEVES.