April 30, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 1.12, Beauty Contest: It is Not a Beauty Pageant, It is a Scholarship Program!
Stage presence, Joey. Look into it
Summary: Joey needs to save more money for college, so Jen encourages her to enter the Miss Windjammer pageant (just go with it), a beauty pageant with a grand prize of $5,000. Joey doesn’t think she’s pretty, and she hates the idea of a pageant, but Jen reminds her that it’s a few hours of her life in exchange for a good chunk of money. Pacey also needs money, since he wants to move out of his house, and he decides to enter as well, since there’s nothing in the rulebook saying a guy can’t be Miss Windjammer.
Dawson’s helping out with the pageant, conducting practice interviews and filming things for the local news, and he’s surprised to learn that Joey wants to get the heck out of dodge after high school. He’s even more surprised to see that she cleans up really nicely. Pacey sees Jen’s reaction to Dawson’s reaction and thinks that Jen is sorry she made Joey look so good, since now she’s competition. Speaking of Pacey, he’s having fun, but when Gail tells him he doesn’t have a chance of winning (the country-club women running the pageant would never let him win in a million years), he gets mad at Dawson for making him think he could be successful.
Jen approaches Dawson, wanting to talk about getting back together, but he’s too busy watching Joey sing “On My Own” from Les Mis for her talent. (Of course – after all, it’s a song about a girl who’s in love with her best guy friend.) Now Dawson’s seeing Joey in a completely different light. Pacey decides that if he’s not going to win, he’ll take the opportunity to tell all the country-clubbers what he thinks of them, which he does through a monologue from Braveheart. Backstage, Joey hears this annoying rich chick named Hannah talking trash about her, calling her a charity case, and Dawson tries to comfort her. He tells Joey that she’s better than all the other girls in the pageant, especially since she had the guts to go up against them. In her interview, Joey gives a message to “today’s youth”: Don’t listen to what other people think of you.
Joey wins second place and Hannah takes third, so both of them end the night disappointed. Dawson tells Joey that now that he sees her differently, they can’t go back to just being friends. She replies that she doesn’t want him to see her differently because she looks nice tonight, because tomorrow morning, she’s going back to her normal self. Later, Jen goes to Dawson’s house and tries again to talk about getting back together, but he tells her he has to figure some stuff out first.
There’s some crap throughout the episode about Pacey and Hannah hating each other and having massive sexual tension (think Pacey and Joey), but it never comes to anything, so whatever.
Thoughts: Jen has never had close female friends? I, for one, am shocked!
Dawson thinks that if Pacey wins the pageant, it could be international news. Dawson, not every country cares about stupid American events as much as we do.
Gail gives Dawson Vaseline to give to Pacey for his teeth. Awesome.
I’m sorry, but Katie Holmes sounds like she’s eight when she sings.
SVH #87, My Best Friend’s Boyfriend: Girls With Low Self-Esteem, Part 2
Whatever, Ginny's totally cuter than Denise
Summary: A girl named Ginny Belasca starts working for the Project Youth teen hotline, after having been encouraged to by her best friend, Denise Hadley. (Thanks to Shannon’s Sweet Valley for that reference to the earlier book, because I never would have remembered it.) Ginny has incredibly low self-esteem, thinks she’s ugly, doesn’t know what to say around people, and is basically just a pathetic character. She thinks Denise is the hottest thing ever and wishes she could be like her. She gets a boost, though, when a guy named Mike calls the hotline to get advice on his new step-family, and Ginny feels like she’s really helped him.
Mike keeps calling the hotline to talk to Ginny, and eventually he asks her out. Even though she’s not supposed to go out with anyone who calls the hotline, she agrees to meet him. But that pesky low self-esteem gets in the way and Ginny freaks out. She asks Denise to meet Mike, pretending to be her, since there’s no way Mike would like Ginny, fugly as she is. Denise agrees, for some reason. She decides she’ll tell Mike the truth when they meet, but he’s a hottie (all evidence on the cover to the contrary), and she wants to get to know him. Also, if you think this sounds like the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs, you’re not the only person who thinks so. Ben Chaplin, however, IS hot.
Anyway, Denise (who Mike knows as Ginny) takes Ginny along on one of her dates with Mike, telling him she’s Denise. Mike hits it off with the fake Denise, but the real Denise thinks they’re going to live happily ever after. Yeah, the real Denise isn’t that bright. She also breaks up with her boyfriend for Mike. Mike calls the hotline again and talks to Ginny, though she disguises her voice and pretends to be yet another person. He admits that when he met “Ginny,” he didn’t like her as much as he’d expected, and now wants to be with someone else. Ginny doesn’t realize he means her, because why would anyone want to go out with a troll? She tells Mike to be honest with “Ginny,” so he decides he’ll break up with her.
Ginny doesn’t tell Denise that Mike’s about to dump her, so when he does it, Denise is pretty surprised. She’s also relieved, since it took a lot of effort for her to pretend to be Ginny. Then Elizabeth accidentally ruins the Ginny/Denise lie, and Denise winds up coming clean to Mike. Instead of being mad, Mike wants to meet the real Ginny. He calls the hotline again, tells Ginny he’s going to ask out “Ginny’s” friend, and then approaches her in person to let her know he really likes her. Good luck dating a girl who will probably constantly ask, “Does this dress make me look ugly?”
The B-plot is actually a teensy bit cool, even though it involves Elizabeth. Amy tells Jessica that a girl called the hotline because her teacher was sexually harassing her, and when Jessica tells Elizabeth, Liz decides to write an article for the Oracle about signs of sexual harassment and what girls can do if they experience it. Everyone on the newspaper staff is in favor of it, but Mr. Collins isn’t sure it’s a good idea, what with having been accused of the very thing the article is about. (Everyone keeps grouping sexual harassment and sexual assault together, and while there’s some crossover, they’re still different things. Just go with it. Also, the snarky cynic in me wonders if Mr. Collins doesn’t want his secret moves revealed.)
Elizabeth starts researching the article, but Mr. Cooper shuts her down, saying the topic is appropriate and might lead to a mass panic about sexual harassment existing at SVH. Jessica tells Liz to write the story anyway, so Elizabeth does, adding in some stuff about censorship for good measure. Penny wants to print the article even without Mr. Cooper’s okay, and Mr. Collins gives his permission. Mr. Cooper reads the galleys and tells Penny and Elizabeth there’s no way they can print the article in the Oracle. Jessica, bless her heart, notices the loophole: He never said she couldn’t publish it at all. She encourages Elizabeth to print her own paper so everyone can read the article.
Penny and Elizabeth print the article and distribute it to everyone at the school. Mr. Cooper summons them to his office, demanding an explanation and blaming Mr. Collins. The girls tell him they thought it was important enough to break the rules. Mr. Cooper backs down, admitting that the girls are mature and responsible, and have the right to speak their minds. Penny also gets him to agree to let her have final say on what can and can’t be printed in the Oracle. Though I thought the point of a faculty supervisor was to make those decisions. Maybe Mr. Cooper trusts Penny more than Mr. Collins.
Thoughts: Wait, the Morrows helped fund the teen hotline? The same teen hotline Amy works for? Awkward…
Also, how does Elizabeth not work there? It was made for people like her.
The irony of John Pfeifer supporting the sexual-harassment article is not lost on me.
Mr. Collins’ reaction to Elizabeth saying she wants to write about sexual harassment: “Are you saying this is happening at Sweet Valley High?” My translation: “Why? What have you heard?”
Denise complains about dating a guy who’s immature because he’s younger. Chill out, Demi, he’s only a year younger.
Penny: “If one of you was the victim of sexual harassment, would you know what to do about it?” Lila: “A good kick.” LYLAS, Lila.
April 25, 2011
BSC Super Special #11, The Baby-sitters Remember: Flashbacks!
My copy's yellow, not gold. Now I'm all jealous
Summary: Over summer vacation, all of the SMS students are assigned to write about what they did over the break (LAME!). At a sleepover, the girls suggest alternate topics, and Jessi says they should get to write about their most vivid memories. This leads to the girls (and Logan, later) having various flashbacks about some memorable times in their lives:
Kristy remembers her first sitting job, when she was ten and allowed to watch David Michael after school. Mimi, Mrs. Newton, and various other family friends and neighbors check on her the whole time. Kristy proves to be very responsible, and thus begins her life’s meaning.
Mary Anne‘s memory is of Kristy and Claudia helping her play pranks on a babysitter when they were eight. They think the sitter is mean, but she proves to have a good sense of humor and takes the jokes well. She even plays a prank on them and teaches them another to play on someone else. Mary Anne came away from the experience learning that it’s okay to loosen up and be silly sometimes.
Stacey takes us through the time just before and after her diabetes diagnosis in sixth grade. Before, she had a great group of friends; after, they all turned on her because they thought she was either contagious or a hypochondriac. She’s happy when her parents tell her they’re moving to Connecticut because she wants a new start in a place where no one knows she has diabetes. At first Stacey decides she’s not going to tell anyone about her illness, but she feels comfortable enough with the BSC girls to tell them the truth.
Jessi‘s story is kind of sweet: She admits that she and Becca hated the thought of having a baby in the house when their mother was about to give birth to Squirt. Things didn’t get any better after he was born, since he had colic and cried all the time. One day Jessi is the only person around to tend to him, so she sings to him and quiets him down. After that, she realizes having a baby brother isn’t that bad.
Dawn thinks about her parents’ divorce and her move from California to Connecticut. It’s actually a good portrayal of the trauma that that kind of upheaval can cause. It ends with some of the events of Mary Anne Saves the Day.
Claudia remembers being six and having to draw a self-portrait. She draws herself as a butterfly and the teacher ridicules her for not following directions. Mimi goes to the school and tells the teacher that Claudia understood the directions better than anyone else.
Mallory‘s most vivid memory is of being ten and writing a letter to her favorite author, having been encouraged to do so by Mary Anne. She learns that the author will be doing a book signing at the mall, so her mom takes her. Mallory’s incredibly excited, but when she finally gets to talk to the author, she’s too nervous to say anything. She talks about how this memory stands out to her because it made her see how much a writer can affect a reader.
Logan talks about moving to Stoneybrook and meeting Mary Anne. It’s basically his view of Logan Likes Mary Anne!
Shannon‘s memory is of starting eighth grade and meeting a new girl named Sally. Everyone thinks Sally’s awesome because she lived in England and is rich, but the girl will only be friends with one person at a time. Then she and whoever she’s friends with ignore the rest of the group. Shannon briefly gets to be the chosen one, but after she has to decline plans with Sally to study, Sally dumps her for someone else. Shannon develops an aversion to new girls, which is why she’s so nasty to Kristy in Kristy and the Snobs. We also get a little info on Shannon’s family, namely that she doesn’t like being at home and that her parents don’t get along very well.
Thoughts: I really didn’t remember this book at all. So I guess that’s why it’s not called The Readers Remember.
Kristy disapproves of all the junk food Claudia eats, but she doesn’t seem to have any issues with helping her eat it.
“I am a native New Yorker. (You can’t say that about just anyone.)” You can say that about millions of people, Stacey. Grab a ladder and get over yourself, would you?
That said, I felt really bad for Stacey in this book. Laine and her other friends are really awful to her. I also felt sorry for Dawn for possibly the first time; I wouldn’t have been able to handle both a divorce and a big move at that age (or any age, really), and she came through it pretty well.
Stacey’s group of friends in New York was basically the Plastics, and Laine was Regina. This makes so much sense.
Trivia: Before she got sick, Stacey was going to try out for the soccer team at her school. Interesting – I thought Kristy and Abby were the only two BSC girls interested in sports. And I don’t think of Stacey as the athletic type.
Six-year-old Claudia talks just like Karen.
More trivia: Jessi’s mom had two miscarriages before having Squirt.
Have we ever learned why Logan’s family moved to Stoneybrook? I choose to believe they’re on the run from the mob. And that their accents are all fake.
Dawn’s dad stays out all night and Sharon calls him a liar? Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and guess he had an affair.
April 24, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 1.11, The Scare: House of Horrors
The spirits say one of us will one day be nominated for an Oscar! ...Not you, Beek
Summary: It’s Friday the 13th, and since they didn’t get to do a Halloween episode this season, this is the show’s one chance to do a scary storyline. Sorry, “scary.” Apparently Dawson loves Friday the 13th, but he doesn’t just contain his love to watching the movie of the same name. No, he has to inflict it on other people by pulling really stupid pranks. I’m surprised he still has friends afterwards. Anyway, he wants to have a séance, and he invites Cliff, who wants to do something creative for his supposed first date with Jen. By the way, there’s a serial killer on the loose who targets teenage girls.
Jen finds a threatening note in her locker, then gets a Scream-ish phone call at home. She thinks Dawson’s trying to scare her, and though she tries not to let it get to her, she winds up truly freaked out. She doesn’t believe Dawson when he promises he had nothing to do with the call or the note. And she’s actually upset that he didn’t try to scare her, since she thinks it means he doesn’t care about her anymore.
Dawson, Joey, and Pacey go to a convenience store to get snacks for the séance, and Pacey makes Joey stay in the car and keep an eye on it (he hotwired it and can’t turn it off). Dawson and Pacey see an abusive jerk and his girlfriend, Ursula, get into a huge fight, while outside, a creepy guy asks Joey for directions and is generally off-putting. But I’m sure that won’t come up again. Ursula buys the guys wine, and when her boyfriend comes after her, she heads off with them, even though she’s in her 20s (at least) and they know nothing about her.
The four meet up with Jen and Cliff at Dawson’s, which he has set up as basically a really lame haunted house. They get ready for the séance but they never actually do it. They tell some scary stories instead, and Ursula proves to be a little nutty. The lights go out and someone appears to be watching the kids, who are alternately mad at Dawson and scared that the serial killer is stalking them. Then Joey disappears, which really gets Dawson scared. She falls out of a closet, seemingly dead, and she and Jen reveal that they wanted to get back at Dawson. But it turns out Ursula’s boyfriend is outside the house, and he’s more than a little crazy. He comes in through Dawson’s window but Joey smacks him over the head with a frying pan a few times. Then suddenly he and Ursula are all fine, and they leave.
Cliff takes Jen home, saying that he wanted her to find him as creative as Dawson, who told him Jen really likes to be scared. She realizes that he was behind the note and the phone call. Yeah, Cliff might be a psycho. She tries to let him know that she probably won’t be going out with him again, but he doesn’t get the hint. Inside, Grams gives her a note that turns out to be a spring-loaded snapping envelope from Dawson. Then Jen gives uses it to pull her own little prank on Grams. Back at Dawson’s, he and Joey turn on the news and discover that the serial killer has been arrested – and year, he’s the guy who asked Joey for directions. It would’ve been much more interesting if it had been Cliff.
Thoughts: Why am I not surprised that Dawson pulls the least creative pranks ever?
I wonder if this was filmed before Double Date and aired out of order. Cliff and Jen act like this is their first date.
Jen’s answer to the cliché “what’s your favorite scary movie?” question: The Ten Commandments. How fitting, since I watched this episode on Easter.
Grams totally has a crush on Cliff. It’s really cute.
April 23, 2011
SVH Super Star, Todd’s Story: Smooth Criminal
I don't get it. What does Elizabeth see in this guy?
Summary: It’s summer, and there’s a day camp at Secca Lake where a bunch of the SVH students (the twins, Todd, Enid, Winston, Aaron, and Cara) volunteer to be counselors. There’s also a guy there named Kevin, who Todd knows from Vermont. Todd has never told anyone, even Elizabeth, that he tried to stop Kevin from mugging someone and was instrumental in putting him in jail. Kevin’s father offered Todd money not to testify, and Kevin threatened him as he was taken away. So…not exactly a guy Todd was hoping to see again. But apparently the camp didn’t run any kind of background check, so no one has any idea that Kevin’s an ex-con, or that he and Todd know each other.
Kevin hits it off with everyone, including Todd’s father, who’s sure that Kevin’s a completely changed man now. In fact, he thinks Todd is just being bitter any time he says anything negative about Kevin. (Great guy, that Mr. Wilkins.) Mostly he’s upset that Todd doesn’t want to work for Mr. Wilkins’ company, so when Kevin expresses an interest, Mr. Wilkins is all over it. Everyone thinks Todd is crazy for not liking Kevin, and they think he’s turning into something of a bully.
Jessica’s totally in luv with Kevin, so the two of them double date with Todd and Elizabeth. Then the Wilkinses tell Todd to invite Kevin over for dinner, and Todd catches him looking through Mr. Wilkins’ desk and rats him out. It turns out Mr. Wilkins asked him to get something, so now he thinks Todd is just a jerk. And then Elizabeth breaks up with him because he tells her to stay away from Kevin but won’t say why. People’s stuff starts disappearing (including Elizabeth’s lavaliere – oh, noes!), and a guy is mugged, so Todd thinks Kevin’s up to his old tricks. He tries to investigate, becoming more and more isolated from his friends. At the same time, Kevin tells them that Todd was a bully in Vermont and may have tried to rape a girl.
Dumbo Todd thinks that Kevin couldn’t possibly be a bad guy when he presents himself as such a good guy, so maybe he’s not guilty after all. Kevin asks Elizabeth out, and since she thinks Todd doesn’t care about her anymore, and because Jessica, for some reason, told her that Todd’s been flirting with another girl, she agrees to the date. Kevin proves to be not so much of a nice guy on the date, but Elizabeth doesn’t quite get that Todd was right when he told her she should be careful around him. Todd goes to Secca Lake that night, since some people have been hanging out there after camp, and he sees Kevin mug one of the counselors, but he…doesn’t do anything. Maybe the police, Todd? No? Okay, then.
Todd tells Winston and Aaron everything about Vermont, announcing that he’s going to go to the police the next morning. But they get to him first, having found his pen at the scene of the counselor’s mugging. He admits that he was there that night but can’t provide any evidence that Kevin was the real mugger. Jessica goes to get something from Kevin’s car and winds up finding everyone’s missing stuff, making everyone realize that Kevin’s a bad guy and Todd is innocent. Fortunately, Todd’s father has also figured that out by this point. Unfortunately, Elizabeth hasn’t. She goes for a walk with Kevin, who loses his temper and strangles her. Todd gets there in time to save her.
There’s some stupid wrap-up about Kevin accidentally killing his brother in a car accident and hating Todd for having a great life and blah, blah, blah, this book was dumb. Thank God this is the last Super Star, because three of them were about characters no one cares about.
Thoughts: This book was clearly written way before it was published, and no one bothered to check it to make sure things would fit. For one thing, Jessica goes out with Kevin and there’s no mention of Sam. For another, Cara’s randomly in Sweet Valley and still dating Steven, and there’s nothing in the book about her going to London.
Todd, if you don’t want Kevin at your house, DON’T INVITE HIM OVER. Tell your parents you asked him and he was busy, or you forgot to ask him. I can’t believe I’m advocating lying, but apparently you’re too dumb to get yourself out of this.
“In her opinion, a lie wasn’t really a lie if you told it for a good purpose, and if it sounded plausible.” Three guesses who “she” is, and the first two don’t count.
Dawson’s Creek 1.10, Double Date: Just Friends
Dawson looks kind of creepy in this photo
Summary: Pacey warns Dawson that sooner or later, Jen’s going to ask if they can still be friends, so he better figure out what he wants. Jen does, indeed, ask if they can be friends again, and Dawson says yes. Then he learns that Jen’s going to a carnival with Cliff. He lies that he has a date to the carnival, too, then asks a classmate named Mary Beth to go with him. He conveniently forgets to mention that it’ll be a double date with his ex. She quickly figures out that Dawson isn’t over Jen, but instead of ditching him for being a jerk, she agrees to stay on the date because she has a crush on Cliff.
Dawson and Mary Beth come up with a plan to separate Jen and Cliff so they can each spend time alone with their crushes. Dawson takes the opportunity to blast Jen for telling him she needed some time to be single when she broke up with him, then turning around and going out with Cliff. He’s smart enough to know that it’s not men she’s tired of, just him.
Meanwhile, Pacey failed his marine biology midterm, so his teacher pairs him up with Joey for a project that will salvage his grade. The two of them hate each other, so of course they don’t like the idea. They’re supposed to be studying a couple of snails, but Pacey puts a carnivorous snail in the tank with them (hoping for a snail three-way) and it eats the two they’re supposed to be reporting on. The two go off to collect more snails and get stuck on a little island while their boat floats off. When they make it back to Pacey’s truck, they change out of their wet clothes and wrap themselves in blankets, which allows Pacey to get a glimpse of Joey in all her glory. And now he’s smitten.
The two of them go to the carnival, and Pacey tells Dawson he’s suddenly in love with Joey and wants his permission to kiss her. Dawson’s totally cool with that, except he’s not. He at least has the decency to tell Pacey he’ll deal with whatever happens. But when Pacey kisses Joey, she tells him she’s not interested in him like that. He notes that if they made out, she’d be thinking of someone else anyway. The next day, Dawson tells Pacey to put a halt on the Joey thing, and Pacey tells him it’s not going to work out. He also tells Dawson it’s time to make a decision: Joey or Jen?
Over in Adult World (in other words, the boring stuff), Mitch and Gail deal with his jealousy over her still working with the guy she cheated on him with. And then I fell asleep.
Thoughts: I immediately remembered the Pacey/Joey plot when his teacher started talking about a make-up project. I just thought it came later in the season.
What I didn’t remember was Dawson being such a pathetic character. It’s like he’s not allowed to have anything good happen to him.
How much of a dork am I that I immediately recognized the actress playing Mary Beth as Theresa in one single episode of Buffy?
Do they really teach marine biology in high school?
When Dawson approaches Mary Beth to ask her out, she’s reading Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying. First of all, seriously? Second of all, he probably should’ve taken that as a bad sign. Third of all, I bet she borrowed Gail’s copy.
I’m pretty sure Joey’s the only person to ever use the phrase “snail menage-a-trois.”
April 19, 2011
BSC #76, Stacey’s Lie: Apparently Stacey’s Dad Has Got It Going On, Too
There is a surprising lack of fire on Fire Island
Summary: Stacey’s dad wants to take her on vacation, and she asks to go to Fire Island, where her boyfriend Robert is working for the summer. She decides not to tell her dad or Claudia, who’s also coming. Claudia finds out about Robert’s presence on the island soon after they arrive, and Stacey tells her she didn’t say anything because she didn’t think Claudia would want to come if she knew she’d wind up as a fifth wheel. Stacey’s dad is, unsurprisingly, never around, so Claudia’s the only person Stacey has to tell where she’s going. Claudia keeps her mouth shut but is obviously not happy to have her vacation with her best friend interrupted.
Stacey rushes a girls’ night with Claudia so she can be with Robert, and Claudia decides that’s the last straw. They stop talking, and when Kristy, Mary Anne, and Shannon come visit for a weekend, Claudia turns them against Stacey. She also leaves early because she can’t stand to be in the same house with Stacey.
Robert and Stacey run into Stacey’s dad and a woman named Samantha, and he reveals that he arranged for Samantha to stay on the island so they could see each other during their vacation. He’s upset with Stacey for lying about her reasons for wanting to come to Fire Island, and they stop talking as well. Even though he brought his girlfriend along and lied about it. Jerk.
Robert doesn’t like how Stacey acted toward her father and best friend, so he dumps her. She finds out that Claudia was selling some photos in a shop on the island, and she’s upset that Claudia didn’t feel she could tell her about it. She realizes that she made a huge mistake and makes up with her dad. She also realizes that she needs to work through her issues about her dad dating someone. And then, almost as an afterthought, Stacey also patches things up with Claudia and Robert.
In the B-plot, Mallory and Jessi are working at a day camp, which Haley and Vanessa are attending. They wear the same bathing suit one day and for some reason it leads to a huge fight. They spend the whole book terrorizing each other until Jessi and Mallory make them work together. Snore.
Thoughts: Stacey wears black jean shorts over blue tights. Shudder.
I have the British version of this book, and when Stacey wonders if Claudia will feel like a fifth wheel to her and Robert, it says, “She might think she’d be a gooseberry.” I’m totally saying that from now on. Other Britishisms: “holiday” for vacation, “subs” for dues, and “vice chairman” for vice president.
There’s a house on Fire Island that a doctor rents called Bedside Manor. That’s awesome.
Another Stacey outfit: She wears a sleeveless denim shirt and green leggings. The horror.
April 17, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 1.9, Road Trip: Yeah, We’re Going to Providence! Woo!
This woman is 33. I am not kidding
Summary: Dawson is all mopey about his breakup with Jen, and when Billy offers to take him on a road trip to Providence, he accepts. Pacey tags along, telling Dawson he never has any fun and needs to let loose. Dawson starts by American Graffiti-ing a car, then hitting on a film student at a nightclub, even though there is no way in the world that woman is in college. She thinks they’re going to have sex, but he tells her he’s still in love with his ex. Then Dawson insults Billy, who ditches him and Pacey in Providence. Rock on, Billy.
Back in Capeside, some annoying jock named Warren gives Joey a ride to school, then tells everyone they had sex. Jen comes up with a plan for revenge: tell everyone that Joey’s pregnant. It works a little too well, as a teacher talks to Joey about being prepared for a baby, and Warren gets a lecture from the school nurse about birth control. Joey starts to feel a little sorry for Warren, but Jen wants him to pay for being disrespectful to a woman, since she hates that. They argue about Dawson, and Jen says that now that Dawson is single, Joey’s scared because she has no excuses not to go after him.
Abby bursts Jen and Joey’s bubble by revealing that Warren’s impotent. Joey tells Warren she’ll keep quiet as long as he stops lying about them having sex. Then she goes to Jen’s with a peace offering in the form of ice cream. They talk about the possibility of not letting Dawson come between them, and Jen says he’s only in love with one of them. Joey worries that Dawson’s had sex with someone in Providence, and when she sees him the next day, she asks what happened on the trip. He says he’ll tell her later, adding that he’s getting over Jen.
Thoughts: This was the second episode written by Rob Thomas. It still sucked.
Warren is played by Eric Balfour, who has been playing teenagers (unconvincingly) since 1991.
Oh, ’90s music. Dawson mopes to Savage Garden, and Jen has a Filter poster in her room.
Dawson, Pacey, and Billy head to a club in the middle of the school day. How many college girls go to clubs in the morning or afternoon? I’m guessing just the alcoholic ones. Also, when they get there, it’s nighttime, but there are still people at the high school (and this is even before they leave and come back for a college fair). So how far is Providence from Capeside? Was this just not a linear storyline? Also, does Providence really have a hot night life? Why am I giving this so much thought?
Do Dawson and Pacey have fake IDs? I can see Pacey having one, but not Dawson.
April 16, 2011
SVH #86, Jessica Against Bruce: The First Rule of Club X is Bruce is a Jerk
I'm just waiting for them to start making out
Summary: Bruce is bored, so he decides to start Club X, which he calls a club where men can do exciting things. And then he lets Ronnie Edwards join. So there’s that. Jessica thinks he’s being a sexist jerk, and she’s also bored (Sam’s out of town), so she decides to join. The members spin a roulette wheel with their names on it, and whoever’s name comes up has to do a dare. Jessica’s initiation is to drive down a long hill without her headlights on, and she does it and gets herself a nifty leather jacket with a big X on it.
The Club Xers pull pranks at school, mainly because, as mentioned, they’re bored. At their meetings, they keep doing dares; Ronnie has to jump off the high dive at the community pool. Jessica decides to do it, too, for some reason. A few more people join Club X (all guys), but Jessica’s name keeps coming up for dares. Her next one is to smoke a cigarette in the principal’s office. Then Ronnie has the idea for someone to hotwire and steal a car, which he shows the others how to do. Jessica’s name comes up again, and she figures out that Bruce has rigged the wheel so she has to do everything. In retaliation, she hotwires his car and drives it to the Dairi Burger, which made me laugh out loud.
Jess is next dared to walk on a train trestle over a ravine. Of course, a train comes, and she barely escapes. She decides the club is stupid and she’ll quit, but first she wants revenge on Bruce. She rigs the wheel so Bruce’s name will come up, then dares him to play a banned heavy-metal radio station over the school PA system during an assembly honoring some visiting teachers. She finds out at the last minute that Elizabeth has been asked to make introductions at the assembly, and since Jessica doesn’t want to ruin it for Liz, she tries to stop Bruce. Except Mr. Collins is totally on to her and stops her, so Bruce goes through with the dare and ticks Liz off.
Bruce gets caught, then rats out the other Club Xers, who all get detention. Jessica also gets grounded, which means she can’t go see Sam when he comes back to town. She convinces Elizabeth to pretend to be her so she can sneak out and see him, and while she’s out she tells Sam everything he missed while he was gone. (She’d hidden it from him before because she knew he would try to talk her out of it.) So Jessica gets a happy ending while Bruce ends up humiliated. Love it.
Thoughts: Jessica: “I’m just so bored.” Aaron: “Jessica, you’re not boring.” Hee hee hee.
“Elizabeth was pretty certain that free-spirited as she was, Jessica was also sensible enough not to do anything illegal or downright crazy.” Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word “sensible” used to describe Jessica before.
Jessica has no issues with stripping down to her underwear in front of the guys. Why am I not surprised?
I kind of love that Bruce calls Jessica “Wakefield.” I think it’s so he doesn’t have to remember which twin is which.
April 11, 2011
BSC Mystery #15, Kristy and the Vampires: Go Away, Twilight Fans, This Isn’t What You Think
I like my vampires broody or platinum blond, thank you
Summary: Derek Masters, my favorite recurring characters, is coming back to Stoneybrook for the summer, to shoot a TV movie called Little Vampires. His parents hire Kristy to look after him on the set. The other BSC girls, as well as many other Stoneybrookites, hang out on the set as well. Strange things start to happen, at first just little walking-disaster-type things perpetrated by Derek, but then a pane of break-away glass is replaced with real glass, and a stuntwoman’s harness breaks. The BSC girls are all, “Mystery! We’ll solve it!”
The girls have a list of suspects, including the prop guy (who was fired after the glass incident), Derek’s co-star Carson (who’s being upstaged by Derek and clearly doesn’t like him), Derek’s manager, the movie’s PR person (since any publicity is good publicity), and even Cokie Mason, who keeps hanging around, trying to get Carson’s attention. But that’s mostly because she throws a party for the cast and crew, and everyone gets food poisoning. She must have served red herring. (Cough. Any laughs for that?)
Kristy finally pieces together that a girl who’s been hanging around Carson is the daughter of the guy who supplied the not-breakaway glass. Kristy finds out that the girl has been reading a manual about car maintenance, and she tampered with the brakes on the car Derek’s being driven around in. She stops the driver from going anywhere and outs the crazy girl, who wanted to get Derek out of the way because he was stealing all of his scenes with Carson. Yes, there was attempted murder in this BSC book. Also, Mallory is hand-picked by the director to be an extra. I ask, which is more surprising?
In the B plot, Claire is too scared to go to the movie set because of all the vampires. Kristy solves that by having her dress up as a witch, which she thinks is scarier than a vampire, and “scare” the vampires on the set. That’s actually pretty brilliant.
Thoughts: Once again, Stoneybrook turns its back on child-labor laws. Having a 13-year-old watch an eight-year-old on a movie set is totally not legal.
Carson doesn’t help to dispel the hunky-actors-are-dumb stereotype by thinking a TV movie about vampires will make his career.
“What good is being a movie star if you can’t eat cookies whenever you want to?” This is why I love Derek.
