April 3, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 1.7, Detention: The Breakfast Flub
Wow, Michelle Williams is short
Summary: Dawson, Joey, Pacey, and Jen all wind up in Saturday detention together – Dawson threw a basketball in Pacey’s face after Pacey told Jen his childhood nickname was Oompa Loompa; Joey smacked and kneed an annoying jock in the groin; and Jen swore in a class discussion about euthanasia. Pacey won’t tell why he’s in. They’re stuck with a girl named Abby Morgan, a wannabe teacher’s pet who tells them she’s there for having an Ecstasy-fueled orgy in the boys’ locker room. If you’re thinking that this episode sounds a lot like The Breakfast Club, congratulations. You have a pulse.
Everyone is bored, especially Abby, so she tries to spice things up by suggesting a game of Truth or Dare. She gets Pacey to kiss Jen, which just makes Dawson more jealous, even though earlier he told Joey that he and Pacey aren’t in competition over anything. Pacey then gets Joey to kiss Dawson, which makes Jen jealous. Joey adds insult to injury by asking Jen if she thinks Dawson is the most attractive guy at school, and if she “lusts” for him. Jen says she does, but she’s obviously lying.
Pacey and Dawson get into a fight, so Dawson takes everyone to the gym and he and Pacey resume their basketball game (which was originally called off on account of Pacey’s broken nose). Jen and Joey also fight, and Abby tells them they’ll never be friends as long as they’re fighting over the same guy. She says it’s obvious that Joey’s in love with Dawson, which apparently didn’t occur to Jen before. The librarian catches the kids coming back from the gym and makes them alphabetize a drawer in the card catalogue. She also spills that Abby’s in detention for excessive lateness.
Dawson and Pacey fight some more, with Dawson admitting that he feels like Pacey is poking fun at his inadequacies, including his lack of sexual experience. Pacey points out that of the two of them, Dawson’s the one with the girlfriend. Then he reveals that he’s in detention because he was caught pleasuring himself in the locker room. Dawson wants to know why Jen doesn’t want to have sex with him, and she says she doesn’t want to change him. Joey asks why everything always has to be about sex (THANK YOU, Joey), and Dawson tells her she’ll find “the right person soon.” She admits that she’s already found him. Dawson pressures her to talk about how she feels, but she can’t do it: “If I say these things, I can’t ever take them back.”
Thoughts: Mike White wrote this episode. Yes, Mike White, who wrote and appeared in School of Rock, and who did two seasons of The Amazing Race with his father, wrote this episode of Dawson’s Creek. And six others. Does…not…compute.
Abby is played by Monica Keena, and since I hadn’t seen her in anything for a while, I looked her up to see what she’s up to. The answer: playing Squeaky Fromme in Manson Girls. So…there’s that.
Also, she looks like the love child of Katy Perry and Brittany Murphy in this episode.
Abby: “Eight hours? We’re going to murder each other!” Librarian: “Well, just don’t get any blood on the books. And I mean that.” Heh. She does, too.
Back then I don’t think shirtless Pacey did anything for me. Nowadays it probably would.
Why do the writers think we want to hear about Dawson and Pacey’s self-love activities? No one anywhere has ever wanted that.
I need a giant poster of Joey looking disgusted while Dawson tells Jen he wants to have sex with her.
