May 31, 2011
Summary: We’re supposed to think Dawson’s declaring his love for Pacey, but they’re obviously just rehearsing a scene from Dawson’s new movie. Pacey makes a meta-comment about how teenagers don’t talk like they do in the script. He thinks the movie is very “un-Dawson Leery,” which is what Dawson was going for. Pacey encourages him to write in a sex scene, even though the characters are supposed to be based on Dawson and Joey, who never went that far.
At school, Dawson and Jen pass out fliers for auditions for his movie; she’s his new producer now that Joey’s bowed out. He wants her to ask a certain guy to audition because he’s “the classic leading guy,” but Jen prefers a dark, brooding guy. She wants Dawson to make an unobvious choice, since people like sexy better than nice. Speaking of nice (and sexy), Pacey tells Andie that he got tested for STDs, as per her request, and he doesn’t have HIV. She’s happy that he was responsible. However, that doesn’t mean they’ll be having sex right away. He assures her he’s fine with waiting.
Dawson runs into Joey, who tells him about her art classes, which have progressed to nude drawings. He teases her about being uncomfortable with that. They talk briefly about his movie, but he doesn’t tell her exactly what it’s about. Chris is considering auditioning since having a movie in a festival would give him some exposure. He invites Abby to read with him, thinking they’ll have chemistry.
Jack admires Joey’s drawing, then spills something on it. (I’m sure he’s not at all shaken by the fact that it’s of a naked guy.) The movie auditions go badly, as evidenced by a montage of…well, bad auditions. Joey stresses about her ruined drawing, which she was supposed to hand in later in the week. She can’t redo it from memory, so Jack offers to pose for her. She laughs this off at first, not sure it would be good for their relationship, or whatever you want to call it. Eventually he talks her into it.
Andie gets her prescription refilled, then tries to hide it from Pacey when she runs into him. He reads the label, seeing it’s for Xanax, and she tells him it’s her mom’s; they have the same first name. Then they look at condoms. At his audition, Chris asks Dawson why the characters in his movie don’t have sex. He and Abby then nail (no pun intended) the scene, at least until he Frenches her. Andie tells Pacey how perfect she wants her first time with him to be, letting him know it’s going to take some planning. Again, he’s willing to go along with it.
With the auditions over, Dawson complains to Jen about putting so much time into his movie and realizing it might still not come together. Jen compares that to his relationship with Joey. He denies that the movie’s about that, but she’s not dumb enough to believe it. Jen says she thought she and Dawson had something special, too, but apparently not, since her character’s only in the first act. He tells her she’s more important than she knows.
Jen asks what Dawson liked about her; he says they have fun together and she’s sexy. She tells him again that the characters need to have sex. Dawson reminds her that she told him to make the less obvious choice. Jen says that if he hadn’t gone for the less obvious girl, his script might have a different ending.
At Joey’s, Jack strips and they talk about how they’re living a scene out of Titanic (though he’s still wearing a towel). She wants him to stop talking, since she’s uncomfortable, and he notes that they’ll be a lot more comfortable with each other after tonight. Joey tells him she’s really inexperienced about a lot of things, and she can’t do this. Jack’s towel falls off and they figure they might as well keep going. (With the drawing, of course.)
As the night proceeds, Joey gets more comfortable with the drawing, though she still considers it risky. The two talk about what scares them, and Jack admits to being scared about sex. He’s not a virgin but he’s only had sex once. Jen and Dawson hang out, talking about the auditions, and she jokingly offers to play the female lead if they can’t find anyone else. “Maybe you should have,” he replies.
Jack tells Joey that his first time having sex was scary; she tells him she’s scared of her eventual first time, too. He has a hard time talking about his feelings. Jen tells Dawson that people who care about each other as much as his characters will usually wind up having sex. Plus, since it’s 1998, “sex is always a risky choice.” She thinks intent and motive make sex interesting, and it’s not always the obvious choice.
Joey asks Jack to talk about sex like he would talk about art. He says that at first it’s like an impressionistic painting, but when you get more comfortable, it’s like seeing Starry Night for the first time: “It’s the same sky you’ve always seen, but everything is different.” Joey’s totally turned on, but they’re interrupted by the phone. Oh, and Jack’s aroused.
Pacey takes Andie to a bed and breakfast, as she’d described in her fantasy of her first time, and assures her that they don’t have to have sex. He just wanted to give her what she wanted. Andie wants to go through with it, but she doesn’t think she’s ready, especially with everything that’s been going on in her life. Pacey tells her that just being with her makes him feel like there’s hope for him, and he doesn’t have to sleep with her to feel that way. So now Andie’s changed her mind.
Dawson works on his script, putting a picture of Joey next to him for inspiration. Jack and Joey are all awkward with each other, both of them regretting the evening. She says it was a big step in her life, but she moved too fast. He tells her he’s available if she ever wants to “explore [her] curiosity.” He wants to hold her, to squeeze her, to try a little tenderness…oh, sorry, I got distracted. They end up making out.
Jen wakes up to Dawson coming through her window to babble about motives and kiss her. “Don’t ask about motive,” he says. “I know better,” she replies. Pacey and Andie start to have sex, but he stops them, saying they’re not ready. He doesn’t want to revert to his habits of acting without thinking. He thinks it would be riskier for them not to have sex. Elsewhere in Capeside, Joey and Jack make out, as do Jen and Dawson. We end with a “to be continued.”
Thoughts: WHY DOESN’T PACEY EXIST IN REAL LIFE?
Well, Chris, you and Abby certainly couldn’t have less chemistry than Jack and Joey.
Here’s where the Andie plot really starts to go wrong: From Jack’s description, she has bipolar disorder. Xanax is for anxiety, and it sometimes causes mania, so you definitely wouldn’t give it to someone who sometimes has manic episodes. I wish they’d shown us more of Andie’s depressive moods before this, too. We’ve really only seen her manic, and even that was more anxiety than mania.
Also, Andie’s mood probably wouldn’t stabilize as quickly as it does after she goes back on her medication. It’s only been one episode. So basically, don’t use this show as a primer on treatments of mental health problems. Or teenagers’ lives. Or anything, really.
May 30, 2011
Summary: Brenda complains to Cindy that she needs her own car because she can’t depend on Brandon for a ride every day. However, she doesn’t even have her license. At school, Brandon and Andrea overhear a lame conversation between Brenda and Kelly, noting that Brenda has officially assimilated herself with the natives. Andrea’s amused by the idea of Brandon trying out for the basketball team since he’s pretty short. There happen to be some super-tall guys on the team, as well as a new semi-short guy named James who’s already looking like a star. Steve is also trying out and claims to practically have a spot sewn up.
Brenda has a cheesy fantasy about being a racecar driver, then tells her driving instructor that she took private lessons in Minnesota but has “perception problems.” Those problems caused her to fail. Three times. Brandon proves himself to be pretty good at basketball, impressing the coach. Brenda manages to drive a car around a parking lot without causing any fatalities. The results of the basketball tryouts are posted, and Brandon makes the first cut but Steve doesn’t. Steve claims that the players are all ringers put in a special minority program just so they can play. He’s angry that they get a free ride.
Brandon overhears some of the players talking about him and how he has no chance to make the team. Jim thinks Brandon’s psyching himself out. Brenda’s ticked that basketball is all Jim and Brandon can talk about. She points out that Jim always gives Brandon the same pep talk about winning being a state of mind. Kelly wants to set Brenda up with a guy so they can double date for a Janet Jackson concert, but Brenda isn’t sure about the plans since she’s supposed to stay in on weeknights.
Steve and Brandon talk about a Lakers/Celtics game, and Brandon’s surprised to hear that Steve sometimes roots for the Celtics. Steve says Irish guys have to stick together. James gets an extension on an assignment for a tech class, which Brandon has never seen James actually show up for. She talks to Andrea about Steve’s accusations, wanting to write a story about the school’s preferential treatment towards athletes. She tells him to get an interview first, but Brandon notes that he can’t write the story objectively. Andrea, of course, can’t comment on people who live out of district attending West Beverly, but she agrees to look into the story.
Brenda does well in her driving lessons, until she gets distracted by Henry Winkler and hits another car. Brandon doesn’t get as much of a chance to show his stuff at the next round of tryouts since the ringers won’t pass the ball to him. Jim talks to the coach, which ticks Brandon off a little, but he’s doing well enough to make the next cut. Andrea tells Brandon that James has never taken a reading or math placement test, and his transcripts don’t show that he’s ever taken classes anywhere. He’s the only student in the school who doesn’t have a GPA.
Brandon confronts James about this, and James plays the race card. Brandon says he’s sick of James getting a free pass and warns that the truth will come out. Brenda tells Brandon that Kelly wants her to sneak out for the double date; he tells her she’ll get caught so she shouldn’t try anything. Jim reminisces over his yearbook, talking to Brandon about teamwork. He also offers to possibly pay Brandon’s car insurance if he makes the basketball team the next day. He thinks student athletes should get a bonus for putting in extra work.
Brenda skips the concert, but Kelly calls her and asks for a ride home (Janet Jackson has laryngitis and Kelly’s date got drunk). Brenda points out that she doesn’t have a license, but Kelly talks her into borrowing Brandon’s car anyway, playing the “you’re my best friend” card. Brenda attempts the trip but runs out of gas. She walks to a gas station, realizes she doesn’t have money, and gets a ride back to the car…which she discovers is missing.
After work, Brandon goes to the library, where he finds James studying. James reveals that he’s not in the learning program, but his father, who works at the Beverly Hills library, earned him a space in West Beverly. He accuses Brandon of having Jim talk to the coach to get him on the team. James yells at Brandon about stereotypes and how he’s actually doing the work in order to get into a good college. He notes that he’s not a crackhead just because he’s black. Brandon’s day gets even worse when he gets home and finds out his car’s been stolen (from the driveway, according to Brenda).
Brandon tells Jim he’s considering not continuing the tryouts; Jim keeps assuming he wants to play basketball and make money to get a new car. Jim admits to Cindy that he may push Brandon, but it’s because he’s such a good athlete. Cindy replies that Brandon needs room to be himself. Brandon asks Brenda why she didn’t hear someone come to the house and steal the car. She spills everything to him and he lashes out at her for only ever thinking of Kelly and being popular. For some reason, Brenda connects a childhood car accident to her inability to drive.
Brandon meets up with James at school and they play some one on one (hey, just like the title of the episode!). Brandon admits that he never thought much of racial relations before because it never came up in Minnesota. Now he gets that he and James are just two guys who want to make the team. James thinks the coach will only take one of them, and that both of them have good shots at making it. He tells Brandon he doesn’t need to feel bad for wanting to make the team as much as James does.
Brenda tells her driving instructor that she may be emotionally incapable of ever learning how to drive. The teacher thinks she just needs a better teacher, specifically one “with great reflexes and a profound death wish.” She decides to give the lessons another shot. Brandon gets death glares from the ringers, but they’re just teasing him.
At home that evening, Brandon tells Jim that the coach wants him to play on the B team for a year. Jim’s fine with that and is proud of him anyway. He admits that a much-discussed winning shot he once made was a fluke. Brandon’s car is returned to him, having been abandoned in the middle of the road, intact. With the keys in the ignition. On Brenda’s keychain. D’oh!
Thoughts: Wait, now Andrea is AHN-drea? Whatever.
Brandon named his car after Walter Mondale. NERD!
How did Brandon get to work if he didn’t drive? Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t be asking questions that involve logic.
Dear David and Scott: Go away.
Summary: Elizabeth has a pen pal named Arthur who happens to be the prince of Santa Dora, a (fictional) little Mediterranean kingdom (he visited in the Sweet Valley Twins series but has never been mentioned in this series before). He’s on his way to Sweet Valley for a visit, and he obviously wants to hook up with Elizabeth, who has failed to mention that she’s dating Todd. Dana Larson, now single (the thing with Aaron didn’t work out), is anti-royalty but Elizabeth convinces her to tag along when she and a bunch of others go get Arthur from the airport, then have dinner with him.
At school, Dana gives this big spiel about how she hates monarchy, so Mr. Collins assigns her and Arthur to debate the topic. Dana’s part of the debate goes well, but Arthur’s goes even better, as he’s able to get even Dana to see his side of the issue. Apparently debate makes Arthur sexy, and now Dana has a crush on him. Elizabeth has now explained the Todd situation to Arthur, and he develops a crush on Dana, too.
Jessica overhears Elizabeth talking to Enid about this and thinks they’re talking about her, which delights her, especially since all the girls at SVH are head over heels for Arthur. But then Arthur asks Jessica to ask Dana to dance with him at a party, and she does, for some very un-Jessica-like reason, and Dana and Arthur start to fall in luuuuuuuuuv.
Lila, meanwhile, has been flirting with Paolo, one of Arthur’s bodyguards, trying to use him to get closer to the prince. Paolo tells her and Jessica that Arthur has a task to fulfill before he turns 17 in a month, which sets Lila on a mission to find out what this is. Ultimately she discovers that it’s tradition in Santa Dora for royalty to announce their engagements on their 17th birthdays.
After hanging out with Dana a bunch, Arthur decides Dana is perfect for his bride and proposes to her. She asks for some time to think it over. At first she doesn’t want anyone to know, but her mom spills to a friend, and the story gets around to the press, who start hounding Dana for information. Lila wants the story out there even more, so she calls a reporter and tells her to get in touch with Dana. Dana tells her to come to a party Lila’s throwing if she wants to hear the answer. But the reporter tells her about the engaged-by-17 thing, and Dana thinks Arthur only proposed to fulfill some sort of royal duty. She breaks up with him and gives the ring back.
Lila tries to take advantage of Arthur’s sadness by hitting on him at her party, and the two get their picture taken for the newspaper. Dana sees it and thinks Arthur’s moving on. Jessica tells Elizabeth (who thinks Jessica told the press about the engaged-by-17 thing) that Lila was behind the whole scheme, and while Elizabeth’s kind of ticked, she also feels sorry for Lila, since she’s messed up by the John Pfeifer thing.
Arthur tells Elizabeth he wants to go home early, but she can’t resist a good opportunity to meddle, so she tells Dana his proposal was completely innocent and she needs to see him before he leaves. Dana does, and Arthur tells her he’s going to stand up against the engaged-by-17 tradition. He still wants to marry Dana someday, but she tells him she can’t make a commitment like that.
There’s some little, boring stuff about Sam getting mad about Jessica mooning over Arthur, but it resolves itself in just a few pages, so it’s not important. I guess it was just an excuse to get Sam in the series for another book, since he’s going to kick the bucket soon. (Uh, spoiler.)
Thoughts: The spine of my copy of this book has the “a” scratched out, so the title is In Love with Prince. Hee.
Lila’s in counseling because of the John incident. Okay, but don’t fix her completely! She won’t be fun anymore.
“Special friend,” Elizabeth? That’s what Todd is? If I were him, I’d be requesting that you bite me.
Dana has teddy bear slippers. I’m sure they’re punk-rock teddy bears.
Dana tells her mom that Arthur proposed, and Mrs. Larson gets all excited and congratulates her. Okay, that’s a problem.
Elizabeth’s thought process when Dana doesn’t immediately open up to her: “Maybe she wants to talk. Maybe it’s OK to pry just a little!” Oh, sorry, that’s Elizabeth’s thought process in every situation.
May 29, 2011
Summary: Jen reads the script for Dawson’s next movie and deems it “fluff.” She thinks he’s naïve about people falling in love in a small town. He talks a lot about teen life, but ultimately has nothing to say, especially nothing relevant. (Hmmm, sounds familiar….) Dawson argues that he’s dark and raw enough to give the movie what Jen thinks it needs, but Jen fails to see anything to back that up. She suggests that he act his age for once.
Andie wants to run for sophomore class president, and she thinks Joey would make a good vice president. Joey says she would only make Andie lose since everyone knows about her family situation. Andie notes that teenagers have short attention spans and have most likely already forgotten everything about her. Pacey’s surprised to hear that Andie wants to run for president against Chris and Abby (and I’m surprised to hear that Abby’s willing to do anything that involves responsibility). Andie mostly wants to make her transcript look good.
Jen invites Dawson to cut class with her, since that’s something normal teenagers do. He tries to make excuses, but she encourages him to be impulsive. He pretends to change his mind but doesn’t go anywhere. Gail calls Mitch to come over and fix the dishwasher; when it soaks them, they apparently see it as a turn-on and start going at it in the kitchen. Dawson walks in, then walks right back out, happy to see them together.
Joey and Jack spend a slow night at the Icehouse, her trying to get him to talk about his family. Abby and Chris come in to talk strategy, and Jack encourages Joey to run against them in the election. She doesn’t want to put herself out there for everyone to scrutinize her. Abby mocks Joey until she pours ice water on Abby’s head, then tells Jack to call Andie. Andie immediately jumps into the campaign, with Pacey as her campaign manager. (He’s reading a book about Clinton’s election.)
Joey’s upset because Abby and Chris are running a smear campaign, and she and Pacey think they should fight back, but Andie wants to send the voters a positive message. Joey says they should at least stand up for themselves. Jen volunteers to be Dawson’s “regression sponsor” to walk him back into his teen years, an offer he declines. Then she tries to get him to shoplift a tube of lipstick (again, he only pretends to do it). Jen tells Dawson he’s hyperaware and he needs to stop psychoanalyzing everything. He’s not growing up the proper way.
The candidates give their speeches, Abby calling Andie and Joey “Little Miss Perky and the convict’s daughter.” She also reveals that Andie’s mother is unstable. Joey tries to get things back on track, noting that Andie’s personal life has nothing to do with her ability to lead. Abby announces that Andie’s mom may have been responsible for her brother’s death, adding that mental illness is hereditary. Andie’s too emotional to respond and runs out.
Joey apologizes to Jack for grilling him about his family, but he’s more concerned with finding his sister. He also doesn’t want any of Joey’s help. Pacey finds Andie in the bathroom and tells her he can help her get through this. He notes that everyone has a dysfunctional family nowadays. Andie says politics used to mean something. He’s sure that everything will blow over by the next day and go back to normal. She says all she’s ever wanted was something normal. “Normal never existed,” he tells her. Andie seems to calm down a little, then throws Pacey’s book at the mirror.
Dawson stops by Mitch’s place and reveals that he saw him and Gail in the kitchen. He’s fine with whatever happens in their reconciliation, but Mitch says there won’t be one. They slipped back into something comfortable, using it to mask their problems. He knows they can’t keep doing the same things and expecting something different to happen. Dawson goes to Jen’s and tells her that she was right about the way he responds to things. He wants to grow up and get over Joey, and he thinks he needs to change his actions so he can change his feelings. He needs her help as a regression sponsor.
Jack tells Andie that they’re all trying to cope with the family situation, but Andie’s highs and lows are getting out of control. He thinks she needs to go back on her medication. Andie argues that she just had a rough day and doesn’t need medication. Jen takes Dawson to TP someone’s house, and afterward she tries to get him to go skinny-dipping. He’s very reluctant but eventually does it. She asks if he’s ever dreamed about her sexually; she’s “possibly” dreamed about him that way. Dawson kisses her, but Jen says she doesn’t want to ruin their friendship now that it’s back on track.
The candidates give more speeches over the school’s PA system, and Joey tells Andie that they can end their campaign right now if she wants. Abby’s pleased with her and Chris’ announcement to the school, saying their win is “as locked up as Joey’s father.” Her comments scare Andie off, but Pacey stays behind to ask Abby why she’s willing to be Chris’ vice president. She tells him she’s using him for his popularity and plans to destroy him. No one in the school is smart enough to stop her. Abby doesn’t realize that Pacey’s had his hand on the intercom and everyone can hear her.
Dawson comes home to find the divorce papers Mitch has sent to Gail. She says she’s fine and moving on. Jack tracks down Joey and apologizes for being a jerk to her. She wishes he would let her help, but he “can’t allow [himself] the luxury of opening up.” He needs to be a rock for Andie and their mother now that Tim is dead and Mr. McPhee is who knows where. Joey tells him that when her mother was dying, she would sit with a friend and not talk, which really helped. (Gee, I wonder who that friend was?)
Pacey calls Andie to check on her, and she tells him she’s feeling better as she takes a couple of pills. Dawson goes to Jen’s and announces that his parents are getting divorced. He knew it was coming and now he has to face it. He’s not sure if he should have his typical “adult” reaction or just let his heart feel how it needs to feel. He starts crying and Jen comforts him.
Thoughts: So Jack sucks. Andie gets reasonably upset about Abby telling the whole school about her family situation, and he tells her everyone’s struggling instead of saying she has every right to be upset. Maybe Dawson and Andie should hang out and learn together about expressing their emotions appropriately.
What month is it supposed to be? They’ve been in school for a while, but they’re just now holding school elections. We always held elections for the student-body government in the spring (electing a school president, vice president, etc.), then class elections in the fall. There was no summer break between season 1 and season 2, so these guys have been in school for months. Who’s been running the student government this whole time?
Wow, Capeside’s administration also sucks. At my school, Abby probably would have been suspended immediately for her revelation about Abby, and definitely made to drop out of the race.
May 28, 2011
Summary: Brandon gets a call from his old girlfriend, Cheryl, who’s coming to visit for the weekend. He tells Andrea that they dated for a year, then “cut each other loose” because he didn’t want a long-distance relationship. Brenda gushes to Kelly and Donna over her algebra teacher, who is totally not gush-worthy at all. Meanwhile, Brandon gushes to Dylan over Cheryl and how “real” she is. He lets it slip that he and Cheryl have never had sex.
Not-Hot Teacher (Mr. Brody) asks Brenda to stay after class, and she imagines him asking her to run away with him. He really just wants her to babysit while he and his wife go out. Andrea invites Brandon to talk to her about his nerves over Cheryl’s visit. This appears to just make him more nervous. Brandon runs into David, who’s heard about Cheryl’s visit from Steve and tells Brandon a story about reuniting with an old camp girlfriend. Except they never actually reunited, and she met someone else and hasn’t talked to him since, and this is just some random excuse to get David in the episode unnecessarily. He thinks Brandon’s nervous over nothing.
Brandon and Brenda go home to find Cheryl there early, and she and Brandon pretty much pick up where they left off. Cindy and Jim hope Cheryl stays out of their son’s room that night. In fact, Brandon and Cheryl are kind of, sort of planning to have sex for the first time. This keeps the two of them and Cindy up late. Cheryl eventually makes her way to Brandon’s room as Cindy wakes Jim up to eavesdrop. Cindy thinks she has a responsibility to check on Cheryl, since she’s a houseguest, but Jim wants to give the kids the benefit of the doubt and wait till the morning to talk to them. This allows Brandon and Cheryl to do their thing uninterrupted.
In the morning, Brandon and Cheryl are both really happy, while Cindy is way too calm for someone who totally knows her son just had sex a few doors down. The lovebirds go out to see the sights, then meet up with Dylan. He invites them to a club called Contact where they might see some stars (since Cheryl’s obsessed). Brenda tells Cheryl that she hasn’t figured Dylan out yet. She gets dressed up for her babysitting job, and Cheryl reminds her that she’s going to met Mr. Brody’s wife. Cindy presses Jim to talk to Brandon about the previous night, saying she doesn’t think their behavior was acceptable. Jim says it’s more about responsibility than what’s acceptable.
All the teens at the Walsh house leave for their Saturday-night activities, and Cheryl asks to ride with Dylan in his Porsche while Brandon drops Brenda off at Mr. Brody’s. He asks Brenda if she thinks Cheryl’s been acting weird. He’s worried about how excited Cheryl and Dylan were to spend a little time alone. Brenda thinks he’s being paranoid and needs to trust his friend and his girlfriend. She then meets Mr. Brody’s annoying wife and bratty kids. She also learns that Mr. Brody isn’t even sure which of his classes she’s in.
Brandon gets to the club after Dylan and Cheryl, and finds them dancing closely. He confronts Dylan for hitting on his girlfriend, but Dylan replies that Cheryl hit on him. Brandon punches him and Dylan says he needs to figure out who his friends are. Brandon tells Cheryl she’s had too much to drink, and she tells him not to tell her what to do. She says they’re not closer just because they had sex – and she would know, since that wasn’t her first time. Brandon’s mad since Cheryl made him wait. He demands to know who the guy was, but she won’t tell him. She announces that she’s going back to Minneapolis.
Donna and Kelly drop by Mr. Brody’s house to see where he lives. They’re not at all helpful with the kids. (Also, in four episodes, Donna has yet to do anything at all.) Brandon sees Cheryl get in a cab but can’t chase after her. Kelly and Donna snoop around the house and find a photo album. Of course, that’s right when the Brodys come home. Mrs. Brody isn’t happy to see random girls in her house, but Mr. Brody doesn’t seem to care. Brenda decides that now that she’s seen his real life, she’s no longer in love with him. When she gets home, Cindy tells her that Cheryl’s parents called – she’s been missing for three days and they had no idea she was coming to Beverly Hills. She’s not visiting, she ran away.
Brandon goes to Dylan’s, where Cheryl’s hiding out, and Dylan promises that they’re not into each other. Cheryl tells Brandon that his move was hard on her; he doesn’t miss her the way she misses him. She wasn’t able to escape her problems, like an absent father, an annoying stepfather, and an uncaring mother. Brandon wishes she’d talked to him about her problems. Cheryl says she felt safe when they were together and she could spend time with his family, so she always seemed happy. When Brandon moved, that fell apart. Coming to visit only made things worse. Except it wasn’t really a visit, as Cheryl confesses that she ran away.
For some reason, Jim and Cindy tell Brenda that Cheryl didn’t sleep in Brenda’s room last night. (Trust me, she does NOT want to know that about her brother.) Brandon and Cheryl come home and she calls her mom while he talks to Brenda about how the relationship is probably over. In the morning, Cheryl packs to go home, though she’d like to move out to Beverly Hills in a few years. She apologizes for what happened, telling Brandon that their first time having sex together was special, even if it wasn’t her first time ever. He asks again who her first was, but she still won’t tell him. She will, however, tell him he’s a great lover. In front of Brenda. Ew.
Brandon and Jim play basketball and talk about Cheryl. Jim says his father once told him one day he’d meet a girl who broke his heart, then one who wouldn’t. Brandon won’t know who the heartbreaker and the non-heartbreaker are right away. Every relationship is special and he needs to be responsible. Brandon thinks Jim is talking about sex, but he’s really talking about love. Brandon asks if there have been any new developments in sex since they had “the talk” when he was ten, his way of saying the conversation is unnecessary.
Thoughts: Andrea totally has a crush on Brandon, right? I’m not the only one who sees that?
It appears that Brian Austin Green’s voice changed and he grew six inches since the last episode.
Do people actually say, “Do you have protection?”
Brenda’s never babysat before? That’s almost unheard of for a teenage girl.
Elliott, Mr. Brody’s son: “My daddy has a penis.” Brenda: “I’m sure he does.” BWA HA HA HA HA HA! Shannen Doherty delivered that line perfectly.
Summary: Mary Anne sits for the Kuhn kids and notices that Jake is sad because he doesn’t get to see his father very often. He also has two sisters, so he doesn’t have a steady male presence in his life. Mary Anne suggests that Logan come over to play with Jake while she’s sitting, and when he does, Jake is thrilled. Logan comes over a few more times but Mary Anne never mentions it to Mrs. Kuhn. (She thinks it’ll come off as a critique of Mrs. Kuhn’s parenting, which is really stupid.)
Of course, Mrs. Kuhn comes home early one day, finds Logan at the house, and assumes that he’s come by the mack on Mary Anne. As we all know, Mary Anne is never able to speak up for herself, so she doesn’t explain what’s really going on. Oh, and Logan bails to let her fend for herself, because he’s a jerk.
Mrs. Kuhn is ticked and calls Kristy to complain, which in turn makes the other BSC girls ticked, especially Kristy. They’re worried that news of Mary Anne’s irresponsibility will spread and ruin the BSC. Fortunately, Jake does Mary Anne’s job for her, explaining things to his mother, who has no problem with Logan dropping by to play with Jake. So basically, if Mary Anne hadn’t been such a chicken, there wouldn’t have been a problem, and I wouldn’t have had to read this boring book.
The B-plot is even more boring: It’s Halloween, and some of the kids in Stoneybrook want to run a haunted house. There’s a fight, the girls break off to do their own house, and…I don’t know, it goes well? It’s not exactly important.
Thoughts: Jamie wants to go trick-or-treating as a shopping bag so people will put candy right into his mouth. Maybe Jamie’s smarter than we all thought….
Mr. Pike has a black light. Yeah, with all those kids, he probably smokes a lot of pot to relax.
Who hires a sitter to take their kids trick-or-treating? Take your own dang kids trick-or-treating!
Isn’t Tiffany, who’s 11, too old to dress up as Tinker Bell?
Vanessa wants to make the girls’ haunted house “gross and disgusting,” so Mallory tells her to call Alan Gray, since he’s an expert. Point to Mallory.
May 27, 2011
Summary: Dawson and Pacey watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and Pacey posits that Dawson is just like Jimmy Stewart. A drunken Jen comes through the window (so the ladder’s back?) and Dawson tells Pacey that she’s been dropping by a lot. In the morning, Dawson’s surprised to find Mitch in the kitchen. Mitch wants to hang out later, but Dawson thinks he’s making things weirder. He opens a letter and is very happy with its contents.
At school, Pacey learns that he probably won’t graduate, and if he does, he’s not good enough at anything to get a job. Dawson finds Joey and shares what he found out in the letter: His horror movie won $2,500 in a film festival. He wants Joey to produce his next movie, but she doesn’t have the time. After Dawson leaves, Jack asks Joey how he can repair their friendship. He thinks she’s been avoiding him, but she’s just been off in her own world. She says she’s mad at herself for everything that happened, and he tells her to get over it.
Dawson shares the news about the movie with Jen, who’s very happy for him. Pacey complains to Andie about the bleakness of his future; she notes that Albert Einstein was considered dumb. Pacey just needs someone to help him. Chris comes over to flirt with Jen and invite her to an all-night party. Dawson can’t hide his disapproval. She invites him along, then accuses him of judging her when he says it’s not his idea of a good time. She tells him she’s just having fun.
Andie thinks Pacey should be more concerned over his lack of a future – if he acts like a joke, people will treat him like one. “I’m not Luke Skywalker. I’m not even Luke Perry. There’s no hero here,” he says. He’s so used to being a screw-up that he doesn’t think he can go back. Andie notes that this is America, where people reinvent themselves all the time. “Heroes are made, not born,” she clichés.
Jack flirts pathetically with Joey and asks her out on a dat (which isn’t as official as a date). He tells Andie and Pacey about his plans, asking Andie to take his turn looking after their mom. Andie’s fine with it and notes that she’s doing better on her new medication anyway. She jinxes things even further by declaring that she has everything under control. Dawson stops by Joey’s house to give her half of the prize money. She asks if they can be friends again but doesn’t tell him about her date with Jack, so he’s not very happy when he sees Jack arrive.
Dawson helps Mitch move into his new place but doesn’t want to stick around to talk. He complains that he’s sick of respecting other people’s wishes. He also doesn’t want Mitch to be his friend. Dawson heads over to Jen’s, having changed his mind about going to the party. She tells him he has to keep his mouth shut about her partying habits and keep an open mind. Also, it’s not a date; she’s not interested while he’s on the rebound.
Pacey goes to the McPhees’ to study with Andie and sees that Mrs. McPhee doesn’t seem any better than the last time he saw her. Andie makes excuses for her, saying sometimes she slips. Pacey can’t believe the number of awards and trophies Andie has, not to mention the fact that she still finds time to take care of her family. Jack and Joey have a picnic and he talks about lightning. (This guy is a thrill a minute, I tell you.) She tells him she and Dawson flew a kite with a key when they were kids. They talk about Dawson’s reaction to Jack at Joey’s house, and Jack says it was like being challenged to a duel. He thinks Joey’s worth fighting for.
At the party, Jen, who’s already drunk, appears to be on her way to a three-way with Chris and another guy. Andie gets a phone call telling her Mrs. McPhee is at a market for the third time, apparently disturbing people. Andie and Pacey head over to get her and see that she’s distraught. Pacey starts talking to her like nothing’s wrong, then asks her to make him a sandwich back at the house, getting her to leave without upsetting her.
Dawson sees Jen go upstairs with Chris and the other guy, then interrupts them before anything can happen. Jen isn’t happy to be forcibly removed from the house. Dawson tells her she’s not having fun, she’s hiding from anything that makes her unhappy. Jen shoots back that he doesn’t drink or have sex, but he’s the unhappiest person she knows. He says he’d rather be sad than pretend to be happy. Jen tells him she wasn’t pretending, then throws up. She wants Dawson to accept that this is her and stop trying to save her.
Jen continues that she’s tried to live her life like Dawson, but she doesn’t have the hope he has. Dawson tells her she’s special, but she thinks he just wants her to be. Jen doesn’t want to go home, so Dawson says he’ll take her somewhere else. Jack takes Joey home after their date and she tells him she had a good time. Andie thanks Pacey for helping her mom, complimenting him for showing what a good guy he is. He makes her night even better by agreeing to do some more studying.
Dawson takes Jen to Mitch’s place, where Mitch says he wants to be both his father and his friend. Dawson will take it. Jen asks Dawson about his new movie, which is a love story. He’s not sure how it ends yet. She tells him there are no happy endings in real life, so his movie shouldn’t have one. Joey climbs through Dawson’s window but he’s not home. She picks up a stuffed shark, then leaves. (So…is the shark a metaphor? Are we going to need a bigger boat? I don’t get it.)
Thoughts: Do we really need to start each episode with Dawson watching a movie that relates to the plot of the episode?
Dear Jack, if you have any charisma at all, now would be the time to show it. Seriously, what does Joey see in Jack? He’s just so…blah. Of course, the girl was obsessed with Awson, so I guess she doesn’t have the best judgment.
First of all, Mr. McPhee sucks, ditching his teenagers and his mentally ill wife to fend for themselves. Second of all, shouldn’t Mrs. McPhee be in a hospital or something? What do Jack and Andie do with her when she’s in school? This is all sorts of crazy.
Also, if the McPhees don’t have much money, how do they afford their gigantic house and Andie’s sweater vests?
May 24, 2011
Summary: Lila has a crush on the recently single John Pfeifer, so she’s very excited when he asks her out. After they have dinner, they go up to Miller’s Point and make out a little. John wants to take things further, but Lila’s not ready. He pulls out all the clichés about her asking for it, etc., and keeps trying to take her clothes off. Lila awesomely grabs John’s keys, swipes his neck with them, throws the keys in the bushes, and walks to a gas station to call a cab.
Lila’s really shaken by the incident, wearing no makeup and not caring about her clothes. She doesn’t want to tell anyone what happened because she’s afraid they’ll say what John did – that she asked for it and should’ve known what she was getting into when she asked to go to Miller’s Point with him. Lila’s friends keep asking about her date, noticing that she’s acting weird. John also won’t talk about the date. Jessica is especially worried; this is one of the few times she cares more about a friend than herself.
The other big topic of discussion at SVH is the costume party Lila’s throwing. She considers canceling it, since she’s so depressed, but instead decides to just tell John not to come. He shows up anyway, bringing a date, and refuses to leave, asking Lila for a reason when she tries to throw him out. John’s date wants to leave, but Lila gets scared that John will try to rape her, too, so she announces what he did to her at Miller’s Point. Jessica finally gets Lila to talk to her about it the next day, making it clear that she doesn’t think what happened was at all Lila’s fault.
While some people believe Lila’s version of the events, some people think she’s lying, especially since she’s a flirt and can’t be trusted. Everyone stares at her at school, and she almost has a run-in with John (which Elizabeth and Enid awesomely save her from). Jessica asks John’s ex, Jennifer, if she can offer any insight, but Jennifer just says John was controlling when they dated. A girl named Susan shows up at Lila’s house and tells her she recently went out with John and had the same experience as Lila. The girls confront John at the Dairi Burger, where a bunch of people who believe Susan back them up. Anticlimactically, they tell John to get therapy and then…that’s it. Lila should have at least hit him with her car or something.
In the B plot, Jessica and Sam are trying really hard not to go at it like bunnies. (Yes, boys and girls, Jessica is a virgin.) They get so stressed about not being able to keep their hands off each other that they decide they’re better off as friends. But when Jessica finds out what happened to Lila, she’s so grateful that Sam is the opposite of John that they get back together. There’s also some crap about a prince writing letters to Elizabeth, but that’s more for the next book.
Thoughts: I actually thought this book handled a serious subject very well. I know, amazing. It’s nice to see Lila going through something that doesn’t have to do with money or class or her daddy issues. She also gets to prove her awesomeness again.
Steven “only occasionally” visits? Okay, ghostwriter. Also, who sends a postcard home from college?
Even a depressed Lila would never dress up as Peter Pan.
May 23, 2011
Summary: Brenda wants to go horseback riding but isn’t sure Cindy will let her, so she practices what she’ll say with Brandon. He tells her to tie it to childhood memories. He adds that she better not talk about money. Apparently Brenda doesn’t listen, as Cindy won’t give her $120 for a twilight ride. Brenda complains that she doesn’t have the cool clothes her friends do, and Cindy points out that she’s not supposed to be a clone of everyone else. She gives the mom message that if people only like Brenda for her clothes, they don’t really like her.
A woman named Anna shows up at the Walshes’ house, but after Cindy tells her she has the wrong address, she doesn’t leave. She winds up cleaning the house. Cindy calls Jim, who tells her someone’s cousin was looking for work. He points out that they had a housekeeper back in Minnesota, but Cindy replies that that was when she was working. Brenda gets jealous of Kelly’s friendship with a girl named Tiffany. Their class is reading Les Miserables, and the teacher talks about rich people not being able to understand need, and how one crime can ruin your life. Tiffany invites Brenda to go shopping, even though she doesn’t have any money to spend.
Brandon goes looking for a job and gets an offer from a restaurant, even though he doesn’t have any experience. Kelly, Brenda, and Tiffany go shopping, and for some reason Steve and David are there. Another girl tells Brenda that Kelly and Tiffany had a huge falling-out and have just recently started speaking again. Brenda asks Kelly if she thinks one event can really ruin your life. Tiffany wonders if Jean Val Jean wanted things to happen the way they did. Brenda seems to consider shoplifting a vest, while Tiffany takes a bunch of stuff.
Anna comes back for another cleaning session, even though Cindy told her not to return. Steven tells Brandon he landed a great job. Brenda asks her teacher who’s more guilty: someone who steals out of necessity or someone who wants to steal but doesn’t. Kelly tells Brenda that Tiffany isn’t always fun; she used to be a real troublemaker. Tiffany invites Brenda to hang out somewhere, telling her they’ll stop by her house first. It’ll be nice and clean, since Anna’s still hard at work. Cindy helps her out, and when Tiffany comes over, she notes that you’ll never see her mom cleaning. Or at all, actually.
Brenda and Tiffany talk about Les Mis, and Tiffany claims that she’d never steal. She asks if she can leave some stuff at the house so she doesn’t have to carry it around with her. Of course, it’s the clothes she shoplifted. Brandon shows up for his first day of work and doesn’t bat an eye when his new boss welcomes him wearing what looks like a slip. Tiffany tells Brenda that she and Kelly stopped being friends when Kelly got “possessive and boring.” They go back to the same store where Tiffany shoplifted. Brandon buses tables and learns that he doesn’t get any share of the waiters’ tips.
Tiffany gets caught shoplifting a vest, and since Brenda was asking a clerk a question at the same moment, she’s accused of being in on it. Tiffany tells Brenda that she was stealing the vest for her. Jim and Cindy hear about Brenda getting in trouble; Jim blames Tiffany while Cindy blames Beverly Hills. Brandon’s the only one who thinks she’s innocent. Tiffany sweet-talks the store’s owner, pretending the situation was just a misunderstanding, and he falls for it. Brenda tells her parents that she didn’t do anything wrong and she feels horrible that they had to come get her. Jim agrees to forget anything happened, while Cindy is hesitant to go along.
In the morning, Cindy and Jim talk about the incident; he claims that rich people are the worst thieves of all. Anna shows up with a meal she cooked for the Walshes. Kelly tells Brenda that Tiffany shoplifted back in middle school but she could never get herself to do the same. Tiffany also stole Steve from Kelly. Brenda tells Brandon that Tiffany used her and she should have ratted her out. Brandon tells her how the guys who work in the restaurant kitchen are exploited. Brenda pretends to care, but probably doesn’t.
Anna finds the stolen clothes Tiffany stashed in the house, leading Cindy to think Brenda really is a shoplifter. Brenda promises that she didn’t take them, adding that if Cindy thinks she did, she doesn’t know Brenda very well. Cindy doesn’t believe her since Brenda was talking about all the things she wanted. Brenda notes that Cindy hired a maid after talking about how they don’t have money. Cindy says that Anna’s the only person she can talk to. She thinks Brenda wanted to get caught, since she left all the price tags on the clothes. Brenda admits that she wanted to steal but didn’t do it. She’s mad that Cindy doesn’t trust her.
Brenda confronts Tiffany about leaving the clothes at her house. Tiffany gives a sob story about her parents wanting to send her to a Swiss boarding school. Brenda asks why she steals when she already has so much stuff. Tiffany complains that her parents are never there, but she can do whatever she wants, which apparently includes letting random guys hang out by her pool. Brenda’s upset that Tiffany’s actions have ruined her relationship with Cindy. Tiffany doesn’t give a crap and tells Brenda to go back to Minneapolis.
Dylan and his overalls show up at Brandon’s restaurant and distracts Brandon from his problems for a few minutes. But then he finds out that some of the guys in the kitchen aren’t even making minimum wage. Brandon tells his boss that he’s an investigative reporter from West Beverly and is going to publish an exposé on the restaurant’s wages. He says that a lot of the students’ parents read the paper and will boycott the restaurant. He then quits and heads to the Peach Pit with Dylan. The owner, Nat Bussichio, needs some help, so Brandon already has a new job.
Tiffany goes to the Walshes’ house to retrieve her stolen clothes, and Cindy encourages her to talk to someone about the shoplifting. Apparently she’s been to a bunch of shrinks, but that obviously hasn’t done anything. Tiffany tells Cindy that she was the only one who shoplifted; Brenda’s cool and Cindy should tell her to stay away from people like Tiffany. Cindy thinks Tiffany should “steal” her parents’ attention instead of clothes. (Gag.) Brandon reads the essay Brenda wrote about Les Mis; it’s all about hunger and urges. Cindy apologizes for jumping to conclusions. Then the Walshes have a cheesy family moment with Anna’s home cooking.
Thoughts: So Anna’s just cleaning the house without any money changing hands? That seems smart.
Seriously, with the way Brandon’s boss was dressed, I thought the restaurant was going to turn out to be a strip club.
I love how Brandon acts like he was just freed from slavery when he quits his job. Dude, at least you got minimum wage!
Tiffany wears a black shirt with white polka dots, a black vest that looks like it used to be part of a blazer, and a white scrunchie with gold beads. I’m fairly certain I had that same exact scrunchie.
Brenda must be a fast reader if she finished Les Mis before the episode ended.
May 22, 2011
Summary: Gail thinks Dawson needs to wallow in his breakup with Joey, rather than just handle it by watching movies. (Does she really think he wouldn’t watch movies?) At school, Joey tries to talk to Dawson, who notes that she wanted space, so he’s giving her some. He tells her to figure out what she wants already. Andie wants Pacey to take a purity test out of Jane, but he’s mum about his sexual history. She thinks he pretends to be a big shot when he’s really not. Andie tries to get Pacey to go to a study session for a midterm; he’s fine with just cheating off her paper but gives in.
Some cheesy guy named Chris Wolfe hits on Jen, who thinks he’s cute but not really her type. Andie and Pacey’s study session (which Jen and Chris were going to attend) is cancelled because their teacher’s sick, so Chris suggests that they all have their own session at his house. Pacey’s up for it because Chris’ family is rich. Andie invites Joey while Pacey invites Dawson, neither mentioning that the other will be there. Andie tries to assure Joey that she’s in control of the session and they’ll actually get some studying done.
Of course, Andie’s plans go right down the drain as soon as she announces them. Chris grabs some wine and chats with Jen, who’s happy to have a conversation with him that doesn’t involve him flirting. They agree to actually get to know each other rather than listen to each other’s reputations. The studying begins, and when Andie tries to get too intense, Chris finds her Jane and gets everyone to take the purity test. It takes a while, but they go through all 100 questions and loosen up. When the scores are tallied, Joey leaves the room.
Dawson goes after her, noting that she freaked a little over a question about being in love. She reminds him that she asked for time apart and asks him to respect that. Chris’ annoying sister Dina tries to bug Dawson about his relationship with Joey. Andie notes that Chris scores a 66 on the test, Jen got a 69 (heh), Joey and Dawson both have an 85, and Andie has a 92. Pacey didn’t turn in his score, and Chris wonders if it was about question 16: “Have you ever had sex with someone twice your age?” Pacey’s silence confirms for Chris that the rumor about him and Tamara was true. Andie’s upset to learn the truth this way.
Chris tells Dawson that he and Joey will probably wind up having some great sex; he plans to do the same with Jen. Dawson asks him to take it easy on Jen since she’s very vulnerable right now. Chris tells him that when the light in the guest house goes out, it means he and Jen are getting it on while Dawson’s out in the hot tub alone. Joey tries to study while Jen prepares to hit the hot tub with Chris. Jen says she’s sorry that Joey and Dawson broke up, but Joey doesn’t think she’s sincere. Jen replies that she used to think Joey hated her because they both liked Dawson; now she thinks Joey’s just a bitca. Joey apologizes and says she just wants to follow her feelings without talking about them.
Pacey finds Andie somewhere on the property and she asks why he never told her about Tamara. She lets him know that she doesn’t find it “an admirable event.” He’s mad at her for judging him. Andie doesn’t think that’s the sort of person he is, arguing that the sex talk and purity test were just innocent. Pacey doesn’t think that sex is ever innocent. He tells Andie that if she wants to be with him, she’ll have to accept his past. Dawson warns Jen that Chris doesn’t seem to have pure intentions, but Jen’s smart enough to have already figured that out. She notes that she doesn’t have to go along with Chris’ plans – in fact, she has her own plans.
Dina pops up again and taunts Dawson with the results of his purity test. She offers up Joey’s sheet in exchange for a kiss. (Ew, you’re 12!) Dawson declines, but Dina still tells him that Joey’s been in love twice. Jen and Chris make out in the hot tub while Andie returns to the house and avoids Pacey. Dawson wonders why Pacey didn’t just lie on the purity test. Pacey says he wanted to be honest with Andie. He advises Dawson to try harder with Joey. Dawson decides to interrupt Joey’s studying to confront her about the question about being in love. She wants to go back to being friends, and he says that if she doesn’t understand why they can’t, then she doesn’t understand him.
Dawson takes his anger out on Dina, telling her that if she gets kissed, she’d better be ready for all the heartbreak that comes afterward. She runs off crying, so now Joey thinks Dawson’s a monster who brings little girls to tears. As if Dawson’s night couldn’t get any worse, he sees that the light in the guest house is out. Joey goes after Dina and tells her that “growing up sucks,” but there are times when things are pretty good. Dawson, Joey, Andie, and Pacey fall asleep studying (Pacey’s on the pool table, for some reason) and wake up just a few hours before the test. Jen, however, wakes up naked in the guest house, where Chris thanks her for a nice night. Pacey rallies the troops for a cram session, followed by a cheesy jump in the pool. Andie tells him she understands his desire to keep secrets since she’s kept her own. They end their fight by saying they love to hate each other.
Dawson tries to talk to Joey again, this time asking her just to listen to him. He admits that he wants to take back their first kiss and go back to just being friends. But the kiss brought so much great stuff into his life that it’s all been worth it. Kissing Joey was actually the smartest decision he ever made. Joey tells him that the two times she fell in love were both with him, once when her feelings changed from friendship to something else and once after the kiss. Dawson says that her desire for space won’t change his feelings for her. Before leaving for the test, Dawson gives a supposedly sleeping Dina a kiss on the forehead. When the gang gets to school, they learn that their teacher is still sick and has postponed the test a day. Pacey takes everyone to the football field for a group nap.
Thoughts: Chris is played by Jason Behr. I’ve never gotten the appeal there.
Pacey’s example of how rich Chris’ family is: They have a satellite dish. Oh, ’90s.
Not to sound all parental, but how did all of these guys get permission to stay out all night on a school night?
I have to wonder exactly how Andie is 8 percent impure.
Some of the things the gang studies are things they should definitely already know. They are maybe not as smart as they’re supposed to be.