September 28, 2011
SVH #101, The Boyfriend War: An Affair to Remember
Summary: Lila takes Jessica to Jamaica for spring break, not telling her until they’re already there that it’s not really a vacation. They’ve been volunteered by Lila’s mom to work at Kiddie Paradise, which is basically a place where parents drop their kids for a week and never deal with them. Jessica’s furious and doesn’t want to have anything to do with Lila. And since the girls aren’t talking, they don’t realize that they’re dating the same guy, Mick (who’s also dating one of the other Kiddie Paradise employees).
Once the girls figure out that Mick is a jerk, they enlist Jessica’s wild group of kids to help them get revenge. They break Mick’s watch and cut and dye his hair purple all under the guise of a magic show. It’s lame, but Lila and Jessica are okay again. As if we ever thought something could break them up for good.
Elizabeth gets the better plot: She’s back in Sweet Valley, researching Alice’s family for an English project. Except Alice won’t be around to interview because she’s now working for Hank and will be going to Chicago with him. This upsets Bruce, as his parents are getting divorced and he thinks Hank and Alice are having an affair. He keeps insisting on this to Elizabeth, who thinks he’s crazy…until she finds a photo of Alice and Hank in a wedding gown and tux. So now Elizabeth isn’t so sure that things between Hank and Alice are innocent.
The really lame plot goes to Amy, who doesn’t think her family is interesting enough for the English project and tries to steal info on Alice’s family instead. She specifically wants to write about Jessamyn. When Elizabeth wonders what her interest is, Amy says that she thinks people in Alice’s family history might help shed some light on who she is. Elizabeth decides she’s right and she should include Jessamyn in her paper. So Amy shot herself in the foot on that one.
Thoughts: Kiddie Paradise is basically summer camp on an island. I really don’t think the parents have any interaction with the kids the whole time they’re there. It’s weird.
I’m fairly certain Lila is in no way related to someone who goes by Jimmo.
Jessica: “I never even got to show you my new red dress for wearing to the disco!” Did that sentence get translated from another language?
Enid says, “Yoo-hoo.” Of course she does.
In case there was any doubt that Bruce is a creep, he has no regrets about trying to rape Elizabeth in Dear Sister.
September 26, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 3.12, A Weekend in the Country: The Little Chill
SQUEE!
Summary: Dawson, Joey, and Pacey watch The Big Chill at the bed and breakfast, which is open but has no guests. She blames Pacey for inspiring her and Bessie to start the business. At school, Jen runs into Henry, who tells her he’s been working on the roof of a restaurant and was offered a free dinner for two. She doesn’t want to take him up on it since they’ve established that they don’t feel the same way about each other, but she agrees to think about it.
Andie tells Jack about all the things she has to do for the play, so he offers to help her with the playbill. She encourages him to move back home, but Jack doesn’t want to live with their father. He also thinks Mr. McPhee is behind Andie’s request. Joey and Bessie try to get a loan and are advised to take out a mortgage. Bessie thinks it’s a good idea, but Joey’s worried about risking their home, which is their one remaining connection to their mother. Bessie reminds her that she’s in charge, stating that Joey doesn’t understand the responsibilities she has.
Dawson stops by to shoot an ad for the B&B and try to drum up some business. Joey’s not in the mood (is she ever?). Pacey joins them to announce that he’s booked a writer from the New York Times‘ travel section to visit and review the B&B. Joey says they’re not ready for a review. Pacey brings in Jen, Jack, Andie, Grams, Mitch, and Gail to play other guests, so the reviewer doesn’t think the place is empty.
Dawson and Joey blast Pacey for springing this on them, especially since he’s making Gail and Mitch pretend to be happy and married. Pacey says he only asked Mitch, and it was his idea to bring Gail. He in turn blasts Joey for not being grateful to everyone for wanting to help. She tells him and Dawson about the possible mortgage and how she and Bessie could lose their house if the B&B fails. It’s too late, though, since the reviewer, Fred, has arrived.
Mitch and Gail take the honeymoon suite, planning on only playing house until Fred goes to sleep. Dawson asks if they didn’t consider his feelings when they agreed to help. He’s sick of his parents not knowing what they want. Fred isn’t impressed with the accommodations, and for some reason, Andie and Jack are sharing a room, which is weird. Jack guesses that Andie’s going to spend the weekend trying to talk him into coming home. The toilet in the communal bathroom overflows and Joey makes Pacey clean it up.
Mitch apologizes to Dawson for not telling him they were coming to the B&B. He wants to show Gail that he’s there for her even if they’re no longer together. He doesn’t get why Dawson’s mad that his divorced parents get along so well. Dawson says he’s confused about where they stand with each other. Bessie totally flirts with Fred, telling him Pacey is their on-site handyman. Then the furnace goes kaput.
Joey calls Bessie on her flirting, complaining that she’s 16 but gets treated like a child. Bessie complains about being a single mom, and Joey notes that she hasn’t exactly asked Bodie to come home from wherever he’s working out of town. She decides she’s done caring about the B&B. Pacey chops wood and tells Mitch that all the disasters at the B&B are his fault. He’s worried that he’ll end up making Joey and Bessie lose their house. He thinks he has the opposite of the Midas touch. Mitch tells him to think of all the positive things he’s done, asking him what makes him care so much.
Dawson apologizes to Gail for his behavior earlier; he’s just confused about his family’s dynamics. She compares their relationship to his and Joey’s, as they care about each other but aren’t together. Andie and Jack head to Grams’ house to get a space heater and she sees how much of a family the three of them are. Jack realizes that she’s been asking him to come home because she misses having him there, not because of Mr. McPhee.
Jen asks Dawson what scared him the most about her sexual past while they were dating. He says it was the unknown; he’d never met anyone with as much as experience as her. She wonders if most other guys would have the same reaction. Dawson admits that his reaction was wrong because she’s awesome, and he feels sorry for anyone who can’t see that.
The men try to start a fire in the fireplace, but Grams has to school them on the proper way to do it. She tells everyone about evenings she used to spend with her husband, saying you know you love someone when you can spend the evening watching him or her sleep. The smell from the fire leads everyone to talk about their favorite scents and the feelings they evoke. This also leads to Joey revealing that her mother’s dream was to open a B&B.
Joey thanks everyone for helping out, telling them they’re great fake guests, then excusing them for the rest of the weekend. Fred overhears, and Joey tells him that though the B&B might not be perfect, she thinks her mom would have loved it. In the morning, everyone’s still at the inn, and they reenact the kitchen scene from The Big Chill. Joey asks why they stayed, and Dawson points out that they’ve only done one of the B’s in B&B.
Fred tells Joey that even though the heat didn’t work the night before, the B&B is one of the warmest places he’s ever been. Joey asks who made the pancakes, since they’re better than the ones Bessie usually makes, and everyone calls for the chef: Bodie. Bessie shows Joey the guest book their father gave their mother for Christmas years earlier; it’s now been signed by their first guest. She wonders how she could have forgotten their mom’s dream. Joey notes that she was busy raising two kids.
Mitch tells Gail that he thought of another memory when everyone was talking about scents the night before. She guesses that it’s of a business she wanted to open, Leery’s Fresh Fish. Since she doesn’t currently have a job, he suggests that she check out a location where she could make her dream a reality.
Jen meets up with Henry and tells him all about her past, surprised when he doesn’t care. He notes that whatever she did before is part of what makes her who she is, and he still likes her. Dawson tells Pacey that things in his life are changing so quickly that he’s having trouble finding his bearings. He can’t see his future, only a past that doesn’t seem familiar. He notes that Pacey has changed a lot; at first he thought it was because of Andie, but he’s still different without her. Dawson thanks him for taking care of Joey.
Jack tells Jen and Grams that Andie has been pressuring him to move back home. When they invited him to live with them, he had no one, and he was touched by how much they cared about him. Now he wants to remind Andie that she has someone who cares about her. Grams and Jen are obviously sad to see him go but support his decision.
Music montage! Pacey finds Joey asleep in the B&B and covers her with a blanket. Bessie, Bodie, and Alexander have a picnic together. Jen and Henry chat. Gail stops by to look at the possible future location of Leery’s Fresh Fish. Jack packs his things at Grams’. Dawson thinks about his future. Joey sleeps peacefully as Pacey watches her from across the room. BECAUSE HE’S IN LOVE WITH HER.
Thoughts: Nice Cosby sweater, Mitch. Did it come with a humorous yet touching lesson for your son?
I think the show only addressed Bodie’s absence because the fans actually noticed it.
If the B&B was so cold, why did Joey sleep in a tank top?
September 25, 2011
BH90210 2.7, Camping Trip: I’m Okay, You’re McKay
"Let's go out there and make the lamest episode ever! Yeah!"
Summary: Brandon, Brenda, Kelly, Steve, Donna, David, and Andrea are packing for a camping trip (hence the episode title), and Kelly’s not thrilled that her mom is making her take David along. Steve nitpicks Donna’s packing choices. Dylan stops by, unable to go on the trip even though his mother will be out of town and there’s really no good reason for him not to. (This part is stupid.) Brandon convinces him to join them, and though Brenda’s surprised, she’s not disappointed.
The kids head to Yosemite but don’t make it before a huge thunderstorm strands them at another campsite. Kelly blasts Steve for not checking the weather report. He says he did check it, he just didn’t believe it. The campsite only has one vacant cabin, and it’s leaky and has no hot water. Brandon tries to be optimistic, then realizes that Brenda accidentally left his hiking boots at home. (Why was she packing his stuff anyway?)
Steve decides to go on a beer run, since there’s nothing else to do, and asks Dylan if he wants to come along. Brenda blasts him for tempting Dylan, but Dylan takes offense to her answering for him. David offers to go with Steve, telling Kelly he doesn’t care what his father would think. Donna decides to go, too, since there’s something she needs to get at the store. Brandon snipes at Brenda again for forgetting his things; she points out that she was making room in the bag for things for Dylan. Dylan’s all mopey that it’s apparently his fault.
Brenda tries to talk to Dylan, asking why he told Steve he wouldn’t drink “this time.” They run into Allison and Neil, a honeymooning couple who aren’t annoyed at all that they’re stuck in such a run-down place. Steve can’t buy beer at a nearby general store, so he gets an older couple to do it for him.
Back at the cabin, Brenda and Kelly play Go Fish while Andrea reads and nitpicks Brandon’s fire-building skills. Dylan suggests that he go get some dry wood from Neil and Allison, so he and Andrea head over. Allison is very welcoming, much to Neil’s disappointment, and offers Andrea and Brandon hot chocolate. Meanwhile, the couple Steve paid to get beer leaves the store with his $50.
Allison tells Brandon and Andrea how she and Neil met, and the couple gets the two of them to leave by making out. Everyone meets up back in the cabin and complains about how they’re not old enough to do anything fun. Then for some reason they all start talking about the meaning of life, which Kelly and Andrea agree is love. Dylan says love just gets in the way. Brenda notes that Neil and Allison don’t seem to feel that way. Well, at least until Allison comes over crying and asks to spend the night in their cabin.
Dylan thinks Allison’s sadness backs up his theory. Allison tells the kids that Neil got her pregnant, but now she’s found out that he doesn’t want children. Neil comes over, having no idea what Allison’s upset about. Steve and Brandon tell him not to beg for forgiveness. David films as the couple fights in front of all the kids and Allison storms out. Andrea advises Neil to give Allison some space, but he objects to getting marital advice from teenagers.
Kelly complains that they’re being treated like children again, telling Neil that while none of the kids has been married, some of them have dealt with divorce. She and Steve are sad about their parents’ splits but Dylan claims his isn’t a big deal. David says he wasn’t surprised by his parents’ divorce because his father became a jerk. Neil points out that he and Allison don’t have kids and don’t plan to have any. Allison returns and says that’s what her problem is. She finally tells Neil she’s pregnant, and he doesn’t react favorably.
Dylan doesn’t want to hang around for another counseling session, so he heads over to Allison and Neil’s cabin. Brenda follows and asks why he’s being so mopey. She notes that his parents’ divorce doesn’t mean every couple will eventually break up. Dylan replies that her family’s intact and she can’t imagine how he feels. He’s allowed to have a negative attitude. Brenda encourages him to see the good parts of his life, like his friends. Dylan obviously won’t be happy until they get back together.
Allison and Neil are now totally fine, at least until Dylan says that Neil can’t be sure he’ll really want the baby until it’s born. The two guys argue, and Dylan says that if Neil isn’t ready to love the baby, Allison might as well have an abortion. While the other kids get ready for bed, Dylan goes off to mope alone…and drink from a teeny bottle of booze.
The next morning, Brandon goes to wake Dylan up, thinking he spent the night in the van, but he’s not there. Dylan spent the night outside and shows Brandon his now-empty little bottles, which he took from Allison and Neil’s cabin. Brandon’s proud that Dylan battled his demons, which is not at all what happened, you moron. He knows that Dylan’s upset that his mother let him down; Dylan doesn’t see the point in telling her how he feels. Brandon notes that the McKays should be supporting their son. The two guys head off for a hike.
When the other kids wake up, they see that the van is gone. Brandon slips and almost falls off a cliff, but Dylan saves him. When the guys return with the van, they decide not to tell the others what happened. Dylan starts to apologize to Brenda for what happened the night before, but she’s over it. He then apologizes to Neil and Allison, suggesting that they name their baby Dylan. Brandon assures Andrea that he’s okay and gives her a big hug. I ask for the last hour of my life back.
Thoughts: LAME. Lame, lame, lame. I feel cheated that no one died.
Would you let your teenager go on an unchaperoned camping trip with members of the opposite gender? I wouldn’t.
Trivia: Andrea’s afraid of spiders.
Dylan’s stunt double looks nothing like Luke Perry. Nice job, casting department.
September 24, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 3.11, Barefoot at Capefest: Friends Without Benefits
Imagine this show had better writing...
Summary: Dawson and Joey go to get a camera from film class and run into Nikki, who’s going to be using it for the next month. Joey’s amused by Dawson’s frustration. Jack and Jen go grocery shopping, and he’s stunned to encounter Ethan, who’s in town for Capefest, a free concert in the park. He invites Jack to join him at a campsite near the park. He’s not even deterred when Jack proves to have no knowledge of alternative music.
At school, Andie talks to the annoying English teacher, Mr. Broderick, about being his assistant director on a production of Barefoot in the Park. Dawson and Joey learn that Gail is getting a bunch of the Leerys’ furniture in her and Mitch’s divorce settlement. She asks her son to keep being understanding because it makes things easier for his parents. Joey asks Dawson if he wants to talk, but he can’t think of anything to say.
Jack and Jen head to the campsite, her commenting that he’s going to extremes (like sleeping outside) to hook up with Ethan. Jack claims he’s just trying to get to know him. Jen advises him to play it cool and let Ethan come to him. Andie and Mr. Broderick suffer through some bad auditions before she thinks they’ve found the right guy to play Paul. Mr. Broderick has already picked someone else out, and his description of the kid as a bad student who’s a natural comedian leads me to guess who it is: Pacey.
Dawson goes to the Greens’ house to blast Nikki for being selfish with the camera. She claims that she didn’t know he wanted to use it. Principal Green invites him to stay for dinner, not taking no for an answer. Ethan arrives at the campsite and takes Jack to get dinner. He admits that he thought Jack would ask for his phone number on the train. Jack reveals that that was his first real conversation with another gay guy.
Jen runs into Henry (last seen in “Secrets and Lies”), who obviously doesn’t want to talk. She asks him to help her put up her and Jack’s tent. Henry accuses her of leading him on just so she could break his heart. He’s sure she’s happy to be “on the requited side of unrequited love.” Jen reminds him that they were going to be friends. Henry notes that he hasn’t talked to her in a month, and she hasn’t even noticed. He tells her to put up her own tent.
Principal Green tells Dawson about Nikki’s childhood film activities, asking if she’s enlisted him for her new movie yet. He thinks the two of them should work together, but they disagree. Ethan tells Jack about when he realized he was different, asking how Jack knows he’s gay even though he hasn’t even kissed another guy. He says it’s about moments and conversations. Then he realizes his camping gear has disappeared.
Andie asks Pacey to quit the play since she chose this as her afterschool activity first. Pacey tells her he’s going to get an automatic C. Plus, Mr. Broderick thinks he’s a good actor. Andie notes that the teacher is a disaster, and his plays are even worse. She wanted to be a part of this to distract herself from Pacey. Pacey tells her to quit instead, but neither of them will budge, so they’re stuck with each other.
Dawson gets his jacket from Nikki’s bedroom and sees that it doesn’t look like it belongs to someone who loves movies. He wonders why she doesn’t immerse herself in film like she does. Nikki says that film allows her to explore the other things that interest her. Otherwise she would only make movies about movies. Nikki mentions her parents’ divorce, and Dawson asks if she’s as cool about it as she appears. (She’s not.) She tells him her new movie is about the American family. Dawson admits that he doesn’t think about his parents’ divorce much, but sometimes he feels disappointed in being the product of something that failed.
Jen starts to tell Jack about her encounter with Henry, but stops when she meets Ethan, who offers to help with the tent. Jack tells her that Ethan needs a place to stay and asks her to leave until midnight. She threatens to take the car and go home instead. Instead, she comes across Henry and a couple other guys playing guitar together.
The play actors rehearse, and it’s clear that Pacey isn’t actually that great of an actor. It turns out he’s better when he doesn’t try, since he’s similar to his character. Jack wants to stay up talking to Ethan (or possibly more than that), but Ethan wants to sleep so they’ll be ready for the long day of listening to bands. Jen admits to Henry that she misses hanging out with him, and he tells her how much he was in love with her. He doesn’t miss that she never noticed how he felt about her.
Joey finds Dawson de-Spielberging his room; he tells her he doesn’t see the world the same way he did when he put up his movie posters. She doesn’t understand why he was at Nikki’s house. She calls him a sell-out, reminding him that Eve had him acting differently, too. Dawson says that Nikki helped him sort through his feelings about his parents. Joey’s mad that he didn’t talk to her about that, since she tried to help him. Dawson blasts her for not wanting him to talk to other girls. He points out that he hasn’t asked about A.J., but she finds that lack of interest a slap in the face.
In the morning, Ethan tells Jack to ask for his phone number. Jack notes that Ethan didn’t want to talk the night before. Ethan says that has nothing to do with the two of them being friends. He knew Jack had to be interested, but he’s not ready to be more than friends. Jack says he should be discouraged that Ethan rejected him the night before, but he’s optimistic to know there’s someone out there like Ethan.
Mr. Broderick is a no-show for the next play rehearsal, so Pacey encourages Andie to take over. Jen finds Henry again and apologizes for being a jerk to him. She stayed up all night thinking about what he said to her and realized that she doesn’t know what it’s like to be in love with someone the way he was in love with her. However, she’d like to find out. Henry may be younger, but Jen’s the one who acted like the child.
Mr. Broderick arrives for the rehearsal and takes credit for how well Pacey and his costar are doing. Pacey tries to tell him that Andie’s responsible for their successes, but he won’t listen. He also treats Andie like his servant. She walks out and Pacey follows her, telling her not to let Mr. Broderick get to her. He offers to quit instead, but Andie wants him to stay since he’s actually good. Pacey admits that he needs her there. Andie keeps insisting she’s done with the play, but he pretends he can’t hear her.
Jack tells Jen that he just learned that the gay version of the let’s-be-friend speech is the same as the straight version. He apologizes for being self-involved and kicking her out of the tent. He also notices that Jen’s in a good mood. She tells him that she made a friend.
Joey comes back to Dawson’s room, asking if she still has “ladder privileges.” She’s brought him a John Lennon “Imagine” poster to remind him that he once wanted to write songs, not just make movies. She adds that no matter what, she always hears what he has to say. She wants him to talk about his problems even if it’s not to her. Dawson hangs up the poster, wondering if Lennon will inspire him to find his path. Joey warns him to watch out for his Yoko.
Thoughts: Has Dawson never met anyone with divorced parents before?
Henry was emo before there was emo.
I love Pacey, but he’s no Robert Redford.
Why is there a play rehearsal at night on what’s clearly the weekend?
September 20, 2011
BSC #86, Mary Anne and Camp BSC: Act Your Age
Is that Karen on the left? Shut up, Karen
Summary: It’s summertime, and the BSC girls decide to hold a day camp since there are a few weeks between school getting out and other day camps starting. They call it Camp BSC (so original) and decide on a circus theme. Speaking of circuses, that’s what the Schafer/Spier house has turned into: Richard’s out of town for two weeks, and Sharon and Dawn are going overboard in their bachelorette pad. They order in every night, don’t clean up, and basically exemplify the saying, “When the cat’s away, the mice will play.”
Mary Anne is nowhere near as happy as her stepmother and -sister are. She misses her father, to the point where she can’t be bothered to do anything fun. It’s 141 pages of Mary Anne moping, basically. Then she sprains her ankle and mopes some more, mostly because she asks Richard to come home early and he doesn’t.
Alicia, a four-year-old camper, is also moping, as she’s not used to being away from her mother so much. She won’t go to the playground with the other kids because she’s afraid her mother will come back and not be able to find her. Mary Anne’s fine with staying back with her, babying her and letting her do whatever she wants. Eventually, Alicia realizes that everyone’s having fun without her, so she decides to let go of her separation anxiety. Mary Anne realizes that the four-year-old is better adjusted than she is, and she needs to let herself have fun, too.
The not-really-B-plot (because both plots get about equal time) is that Karen and some other kids have gone to a real circus camp, and they keep complaining that Camp BSC isn’t as good. Karen pretty much leads an anti-lameness brigade, and somehow, the BSC girls manage to refrain from locking her in a closet all day. Ultimately, while putting on an end-of-camp circus, the anti-lameness kids realize that they don’t have any idea how to put on a real circus, so they should just shut up.
Thoughts: Mary Anne’s sadness strikes me as a little weird. We know she’s a daddy’s girl, but she’s been away from home before, and she’s usually pretty mature.
I understand leaving your kids with 11- and 13-year-olds for a few hours, but all day? I don’t know about that.
The girls also mention that campers can attend for a full day or a half day, but we don’t hear about anyone only attending for half a day. Why didn’t Alicia’s mom try that out for her until she got more comfortable? Eight hours is a LONG day for a four-year-old.
Sharon really does order take-out every night. I guess the Schafer-Spiers are made of money.
Dawn makes the girls get turkey hot dogs for a camp cookout. So remember, kids, if you hate your dinner, blame Dawn. Who would never eat turkey, so whatever, ghostwriter.
People aren’t sawed in half at circuses, Karen. That’s magic shows. Go sit in the corner.
September 18, 2011
BH90210 2.6, Pass/Not Pass: Teacher’s Pet
I don't think the person who took this picture likes Shannen Doherty
Summary: Brenda and Andrea try to decide on a scene to perform for their theater class. Andrea’s nervous because she’s never performed in the class before, while Brenda is Chris’ pet. This is news to Brenda. Andrea reminds her that Chris is a teacher, but Brenda points out that summer school is almost over. Kelly and Steve hang out at the beach club and discuss the end of the summer with Brandon. He’s excited to almost have enough money to get his Mustang. His next paycheck from Henry puts him over his needed amount.
Chris runs into Andrea at a bookstore, where she’s looking for a play to perform a scene from. He encourages her to call him by his first name. Brandon tells Jim and Cindy about his Mustang, and Jim offers to go with him to pick it up. He doesn’t think Brandon should trust the dealer if the dealer won’t take a personal check. Brandon makes excuses to pick up the car on his own. Cindy tells Brenda that Dylan called, and Jim’s surprised that Brenda doesn’t seem to care.
At class, Andrea tells Brenda about the scene she wants to do, which she thinks will help Brenda stretch as an actress. Brenda agrees to it when she hears that Chris suggested it. Chris tells Brenda that he paired her up with Andrea because he thinks Brenda can help her. Brandon gets his car, which breaks down on the way home. He takes a cab back to the dealership and demands his money back. The dealer tells him there’s nothing he can do. He claims that the car was fine when Brandon drove it off the lot.
At home, Brandon tells Jim and Cindy that the car’s engine needs to be overhauled. Oh, and he didn’t get a warranty. Brandon can’t believe the dealership makes a living by ripping people off, because he is a naïve little boy who doesn’t live in the real world. Jim’s upset that Brandon’s an idiot, and that the car’s in an impound lot, having been towed while Brandon was going back to the dealership. He assures his parents that he’ll take care of everything. Jim reminds him that the buyer is supposed to beware.
Brandon heads to the Peach Pit, which is being renovated and which now employs a very thorough waitress. Nat tells him business is great and the waitress, Courtney, is wonderful. Chris is also there, and he and Brandon start chatting about L.A. Apparently Chris is from Chicago and doesn’t actually live in Beverly Hills. He learns that Brenda is Brandon’s sister and tells him that she has an “amazing dramatic presence.”
Brenda and Andrea practice their scene at the Walshes’ house, and Brandon mentions that he ran into Chris. Brenda wants to know exactly what he said about her. Later, Andrea goes to the Peach Pit, where Brenda is totally not at all waiting for Chris to come in. He does, and Brenda invites him to join her and Andrea. She offers to take him on a tour of Hollywood, and Chris says he’d love to tour the city with both of the girls, which isn’t exactly what Brenda had in time. Andrea and Brenda proceed to compete for Chris’ attention.
Steve doesn’t get why Jim won’t give Brandon the money to get his car out of the impound lot. He suggests that Brandon get his job at the Peach Pit back, but Brandon doesn’t think he’s needed now that Courtney’s there. Brenda comes home and complains that Chris seems to like Andrea more. Brandon points out that Chris is older, her teacher, and doesn’t even live in L.A. Chris drives Andrea home and they talk in the car for a while before he asks her to get coffee with him the next night, after their last class.
At class the next day, Andrea gushes to Brenda about Chris. She didn’t realize until the night before that she had feelings for him. Brenda doesn’t want to hear it, and not just because they’re about to do their scene. It’s from The Turning Point, and the girls get to yell at each other. Bonus: Brenda gets to slap Andrea. Afterward, Andrea blasts Brenda for actually slapping her instead of just pretending. Brenda says Andrea’s the new teacher’s pet. Andrea reminds her that she apologized because she didn’t know Chris was interested in her. Brenda points out that Andrea spent the whole previous year in love with Brandon.
At home, Brenda admits to Cindy that she was a horrible person today. Her day gets better when Dylan shows up. He asks Brandon about the car, and Jim makes comments about Brandon’s idiocy, which Cindy calls him on later. Andrea and Chris go parking after their coffee date, but he decides they need to stop making out since she’s his student. (Well, ex-student.) He wishes she were five years older or he were five years younger. Chris is leaving in two days but wants to spend the rest of his time in Beverly Hills with Andrea.
Brandon goes back to the Peach Pit the next day, on his way to his last day working at the beach club. He asks Nat if Courtney’s a better worker than he was. Nat says she’s just different. Brandon asks for his job back, but Nat’s reluctant, since Brandon ditched him for another job. He points out that Brandon wanted more money for a car he doesn’t even have. Then he reveals that Courtney’s going off to school next week, and he’s just been waiting for Brandon to come crawling back.
At the club, Brandon thanks Henry for a great summer. Kelly summons him to the parking lot, where he finds Jim waiting with the Mustang and its rebuilt engine. Jim and Cindy gave in since Brandon worked hard all summer for the car. Brandon apologizes for being an idiot; he wanted to show how independent he was, but he was really too proud to ask for help. Jim admits that if Brandon had asked for help, Jim probably would have yelled at him. He was scared to let Brandon drive again after his accident, but apparently he’s gotten over that.
Chris picks Andrea up for another date, telling her he’s gotten a job in Beverly Hills, teaching at a girls’ school. She asks when he’ll get his stuff from Chicago, and he reveals that his girlfriend will bring it to him. She blasts him for being dishonest. Chris says he was trying to gain her trust by making himself into the person she needed him to be. It’s not his fault if she was misled. Chris admits that he wasn’t professional, and Andrea adds that he wasn’t fair either. She’s upset that he’s the only guy, other than Brandon, who ever showed interest in her.
The summer closes with a luau at the club, where no one will dance with Brandon except some random little girl. (There’s a lot of cradle-robbing in this episode.) Brenda asks Dylan if the club luau is anything like an authentic one, but he says he never went to one in Hawaii. All he did was think of Brenda. She tells him their relationship is complicated, admitting that she “went after” an older guy while Dylan was gone. All she’ll say is that she’s glad Dylan’s back.
Andrea shows up to the luau, and when Brenda sees how upset she is, she apologizes for the slap and her jealousy. Andrea tells her that Chris isn’t who they thought he was. The girls make a pact to never fight over another guy. Then everyone dances, and they really, really shouldn’t. (I’m looking at you, Jason Priestly.)
Thoughts: I didn’t recognize her, but Courtney was played by Lucy Liu. I know!
Actually, Jim, the car dealer is probably smart not to take a personal check from a teenager. (How many teenagers have their own checking accounts anyway?)
Trivia: Andrea loves L.A. Law.
It looks like Andrea doesn’t care if Chris knows she doesn’t live in Beverly Hills. Or maybe that writers forgot that piece of her character.
So I guess this means no more Henry. Sad.
Yes, an all-girls’ school is exactly where Chris should be working.
September 17, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 3.10, First Encounters of the Close Kind: Joey’s Boys
Hi. I'm Bianca Lawson. I've been playing teenagers since 1994. I'm 32 and people still think I can pass for 16
Summary: Joey comes through Dawson’s window and finds him watching his Witch Island movie in preparation for a screening and Q&A session at a film festival that weekend. She tries to assure him that the movie’s good and he’ll do well. She’s not happy about her own plans for the weekend, a college tour. Dawson’s sure that she’ll make it out of Capeside one day. He notes that both of them are about to experience their possible futures.
Joey, Dawson, Andie, and Jack all head to a college in Cambridge where Andie has always wanted to go. Dawson checks in for the film festival with a girl named Nikki Green, who laughs over his Spielberg obsession. Joey goes to meet A.J., her roommate for the weekend, thinking A.J.’s a girl. He’s not. Likewise, A.J. expected a guy named Joey. A.J.’s willing to show Joey around anyway, and she mostly stays to stick it to him. However, he kicks her out so he can finish a paper.
Andie meets up with Jack, who plans to spend the weekend touring Boston. He doesn’t want Andie to see that he’s using the Pink Pages, a gay guidebook. Andie tries to check in for an appointment with the dean, but it’s not scheduled until March. She argues that her father’s an alumnus, so she should get whatever she wants. It doesn’t work.
The Witch Island screening isn’t very popular, and when it’s time for the Q&A, Dawson doesn’t really want to participate. Nikki feels bad for him and checks on him afterward. She notes that the most interesting part of the story was Dawson’s relationship with Joey, but it wasn’t clear. Dawson doesn’t care about her position since she’s just an administrator. Meanwhile, Jack takes a bus ride, feeling uncomfortable.
Joey catches up with Dawson and learns that the screening didn’t go well. He wonders if his haters are right about his lack of talent. He notes that his dreams are so big that he never questioned being able to achieve them. Joey knows that he truly loves making movies, and she’s watched him turn his dream into a reality.
Andie hangs around the dean’s office, trying to butter up his assistant, who tells her that her own kids didn’t get into the school and don’t care. Her happiest child didn’t even go to college. Her point is that Andie’s life won’t be happy based on where she goes to school but on whether she finds fulfillment.
Joey visits a freshman English class where A.J.’s a TA. He starts a discussion on literature, and Joey reveals that her favorite book is Little Women. A.J. rips her choice apart, noting that the protagonist is a girl with a boy’s name. (Oh, and her father’s gone and she’s in love with the boy next door. Do you get it? Do you?) The class agrees with A.J. that the book isn’t that great. A.J. notes that you can’t say a book is good just because you relate to it.
After class, A.J. admits that they were harsh to Joey. She calls him insensitive, pointing out that she doesn’t know him. She wanted to see the fun parts of college, but obviously A.J. doesn’t know what fun is. A.J. asks for a fresh start, promising to show Joey what college is really like. Dawson attends a screening of a movie everyone in the audience loves. If you’ve ever seen a TV show before, you can guess that the filmmaker is Nikki.
After the screening, Dawson finds Nikki, who tells him that if he’d been the successful one, she would have been happy for him. She asks for his real opinion on her movie and some constructive criticism. He says her movie is “technically accomplished,” which is better than any of the feedback he got from her. Nikki admits that she was insensitive to him. Dawson asks why she didn’t mention that she was also an entrant in the festival. She says she doesn’t like to give too much information about herself because then she can’t get hurt.
Andie has coffee with the dean’s assistant and decides she’ll write her admissions essay on her mother. The assistant thinks that will help Andie organize her thoughts. Andie tells her about finding her mother in a creek one morning, looking lost. The assistant gives her some advice: Always wear sensible shoes, and let herself off the hook for things she can’t control. Andie’s allowed to make peace with Tim’s death even if her mother can’t. Andie wonders if she had her problems with mental health in order to better understand her mom.
A.J. takes Joey to a rare book and manuscript library to show her Louisa May Alcott’s own copy of the first part of Little Women. They read from it together, which is totally something normal college students do. Joey reveals that this was her mother’s favorite book, and she named Joey after Jo. When she reads the book, she feels closer to her mom. Now A.J. feels like a jerk. And now they’re totally in loooooooooove. A.J. now feels comfortable enough to reveal that his favorite book is The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
Jack goes to a gay club, where a guy buys him a beer and asks him to go somewhere to talk. Jack panics and runs off. Back on campus, Nikki doesn’t win anything at the film festival and leaves upset. Dawson tells her she was robbed. He’s surprised that she’s so angry, noting that film festivals don’t usually award the best filmmakers. He says her movie was inspiring and made him remember why he started making movies in the first place: to reach people. He’s not giving up until he does the same.
The next morning, Dawson and Andie head to the train station, both of them saying that they got what they came to Cambridge for. She notes that when you get a picture in your head of the way things should be, you close yourself off to other options. Jack’s already on the train, where he meets a guy named Ethan who’s also going to Capeside. Dawson runs into Nikki, who’s headed there as well to stay with her father for a while. They commiserate over having divorced parents. Oh, and Nikki’s father is Principal Green.
Jack and Ethan talk about his return to Capeside; his parents live there and he’s going home after a bad breakup. When Jack hears that the breakup was with a guy, he’s surprised, since he didn’t think Ethan was gay. Ethan’s gaydar has already pinged over Jack, though. A.J. takes Joey to the train station after they spent the whole night talking about literature. She admits that she doesn’t know what she’s passionate about. (What happened to art?) A.J. thinks Joey needs distance to figure out what she’s all about. Then he asks if he can call her sometime.
On the train, Joey meets Nikki and only tells Dawson that A.J. was her roommate. Back in Capeside, they wonder about what they’ll face in the future. Dawson feels blindsided by the world and worried about his future as a filmmaker. Joey tells him that the needs to love what he does and not just focus on success. To her, college has always been about leaving Capeside, but now she sees it more for the people she’ll meet. She feels like Dawson’s room is suddenly smaller, but he thinks it’s just safe.
Thoughts: No Pacey in this episode. I has a sad.
Hilariously, Robin Dunne, who plays A.J., was in a TV version of Little Men.
Freaking Bianca Lawson. She’s been playing 16 since she was 15. And I always think of her as Kendra the Vampire Slayer.
Speaking of people I always associate with Buffy, I always think of Adam Kaufman as Parker, Buffy’s jerk of a one-night stand.
A.J.’s dorm room is ridiculously big, especially for a single. I think it’s bigger than my apartment.
September 16, 2011
SVH #100, The Evil Twin: Happy New Twin
The creepiest cover yet
Summary: Margo’s plan is falling into place nicely: She’s fooled a number of people into thinking she’s Elizabeth, and she’s about to get Ned and Alice out of Sweet Valley. Things start to fall apart, though, when James grows a conscious and decides a) he’s really in love with Jessica and b) he doesn’t want to let Margo hurt her. He breaks up with Jessica so he can’t be used to do anything to her.
Margo ain’t playin’. She leaves James death threats, putting him so on edge that he decides to warn Jessica that she’s in danger. He calls and arranges to meet with her at a marina. Margo learns about the meeting and knows that James turned on her, so she decides to intercept him and kill him. But first she learns that Josh has tracked her down.
Margo figures out how to kill two birds with one stone (somewhat literally) and makes sure Josh knows she’s going to the marina. Jessica asks Elizabeth and Todd for a ride to the same place, and all three of them get there just as Margo kills James. Except they don’t see Margo, and they do see Josh, who they think is the real killer. Josh tells Todd that the twins are in danger from a girl who looks just like them, but Todd thinks he’s nuts. James is dead, Josh is taken to jail, and Margo is a happy camper again.
Through all of this, Ned and Alice are experiencing a comedy of errors in San Francisco, where Margo lured them with the idea of a job offer for Ned. Alice’s mother’s intuition is telling her that something’s wrong back home, but every time she calls home, Elizabeth tells her things are fine. This is because Margo is hanging around the house, pretending to be Elizabeth and intercepting all phone calls so the Wakefields never talk to each other.
Elizabeth has been having dreams about the prom, and is piecing together the things she’d forgotten. Just before a big New Year’s Eve party at Lila’s, she takes a nap and dreams about Jessica spiking her and Sam’s drinks. She’s furious that Jessica never took responsibility and made Elizabeth feel guilty over the accident.
Meanwhile, Margo’s master plan is coming together, and she’s arranged to wear the same dress as Elizabeth. She’ll kill her in the pool house and take her place on New Year’s Eve. Or at least she’ll try, unless Josh, who’s just escaped from jail, can stop her. Alice and Ned are also on their way back to Sweet Valley, with Alice more convinced than ever that something evil is brewing.
Todd learns that Josh has escaped from jail and worries that he’ll come after the twins. He tries to keep an eye on Elizabeth at the party, but he loses track of her, and when he thinks he’s found her again, he’s actually found Margo. He figures out that she’s not Liz or Jess, so she knocks him out. Margo then pretends to be Jessica and gets Elizabeth to meet her at the pool house, where she pulls out a butcher knife. Of course, she’s dumb enough to spill her whole plan, just like any other villain.
Jessica’s twin intuition (twintuition?) pulls an Alice and she starts looking around Fowler Crest for Elizabeth. She finally finds her in the pool house, and the three girls fight for control of the knife. Jessica is literally throwing herself in front of the blade to protect Elizabeth, so if Liz hadn’t already decided to forgive her for the whole prom fiasco, this would probably help. Steven and Billie have also learned about Josh’s escape, so they head to Fowler Crest so save the twins. (That part is kind of pointless.)
Enid spots Josh at the pool house and tells Steven he’s there. Todd regains consciousness and tells Steven that Josh isn’t the killer, some girl who looks like the twins is. Josh, Steven, and Todd race to the pool house, where Josh shoves Margo through a window and she takes a piece of glass to the jugular. By the time Ned and Alice arrive, the twins have made up and Margo is dead.
…Or is she?
Thoughts: “Was murderous violence Margo’s answer to everything?” Um, yes. That’s why she’s fun. Try to keep up, Josh.
I’m thinking guys in Sweet Valley are going to be a little more careful about Jessica from now on. She’s now had two boyfriends in a row die on her. A.J.’s probably thinking he dodged a (possibly literal) bullet.
“I wish Steven would tuck ME into bed!” Ew, Margo – he’s about to be your fake brother!
AS IF Lila would eat at a Pancake House.
September 12, 2011
BH90210 2.5, Play It Again, David: Parents Just Don’t Understand
Oh, yeah. Jackie would totally go for this hunk
Summary: Brenda, Donna, and Andrea’s theater class is out for the day, and Andrea’s embarrassed that she had to act like a duck in front of everyone. Kelly shows up to get Brenda for lunch and asks how the other girls can hang out at school during the summer. Kelly and Brenda head to the beach club to meet Kelly’s mom, bringing Andrea with them so she can talk to Brandon. Brenda daydreams about getting all From Here to Eternity with Dylan.
Andrea asks Brandon to be a Big Brother to a kid she knows named Felix. (Good, because it’s been a few minutes since Brandon got to play hero.) Jackie breaks a tooth, but fortunately for her, the third best oral surgeon in L.A. is nearby to help her (and also hit on her). He offers to fix her tooth for free if she’ll go out with him. Kelly thinks the guy is crazy, but Jackie agrees to the date. By the way, his name is Mel Silver, and he’s David’s father.
Later, Brenda tries to calm Kelly down, promising she won’t say anything about her mother going out with Mel. Brandon goes to meet Felix, whose mom, Suzanne, tells him that Felix’s dad left three years earlier. Possibly because the kid is a total brat. Brandon and Felix go rollerblading while Steve teases Kelly about Jackie and Mel’s date. Donna doesn’t think the date is a big deal, noting that Mel might not be as dorky as David. Kelly worries that the relationship will get serious.
Brandon calls Andrea to complain about Felix, who, of course, overhears. Suddenly he’s not so bratty anymore. Mel comes by for his date with Jackie and Kelly clarifies that she and David aren’t friends. Mel says that David really likes her, which means they’ll be friends for life. Kelly’s thrilled, as you can guess. The next day, Felix helps Brandon at work, and Henry warns Brandon not to let the kid get in the way.
Brenda tells Cindy that Jackie and Mel apparently hit it off really well. Cindy’s sure that Kelly will get over her displeasure. Brenda hallucinates Dylan asking if she thinks things will work out between them. Brandon brings Felix home for dinner, and when Brandon touches Felix’s back, he drops a plate of fries. He pretends to call his mom to let her know where he is, but doesn’t actually make the call. David tracks down Kelly at the club and tells her their parents have already set up another date. She has a day-nightmare about how horrible it would be for them to become stepsiblings.
Mel brings Jackie home from their next date and they do a little making out. He invites her and Kelly to go out with him and David the next night. Jackie wonders if Mel isn’t hiding something from her since the guys she usually dates have issues. After Mel leaves, Kelly tells Jackie that she doesn’t think he’s her type. Jackie tells her the four of them are going to dinner the next night, making it clear that Kelly doesn’t have a choice in the matter.
The next day, Felix goes back to the club and tells someone at the club that he’s Brandon’s younger brother. Henry tells Brandon that Felix can’t keep hanging around. Brandon tries to get Felix to leave, promising to hang out with him the next day. Kelly asks Steve how he can stand to hang out with David. Steve says he’s not as bad as she thinks. He thinks that if Jackie and Mel are ready to have their kids hang out together, they must be serious. They’re probably going to tell Kelly and David that they’re in love. Steve tells Kelly to scare Mel off by being a brat.
The Silvers and Taylors go to dinner together, and Kelly wastes no time taking Steve’s advice, calling David a voyeur and refusing to order anything. Jackie finally loses her cool when Kelly tells Mel that Jackie’s a recovering alcoholic. She pulls Kelly aside and demands to know why she’s acting this way. Jackie assures her that she’s not planning to marry Mel, at least anytime soon, since they just met. Kelly admits that she wanted to spend time just with Jackie, since Jackie has always been either married or drunk. Jackie promises that she’ll always have time for her daughter.
Brandon goes to the club on his day off to meet Felix, who for once hasn’t shown up. He then goes to Felix’s apartment and sees that the kid has a black eye. Felix admits that his mother hit him, but it was his fault since he forgot to call her. He also shows Brandon bruises on his back. He tries to make Brandon promise not to tell anyone, but Brandon will just promise that everything will be okay.
Brandon finds Andrea at school and tells him that Felix’s mom is abusing him. She doesn’t have a good solution, but she suggests that they talk to a social worker she knows. Brandon thinks he should talk to Jim and Cindy first. Kelly tells Brenda and Cindy that her plan backfired, and Cindy says that if Jackie and Mel are meant to be, things will work out. Dylan calls from Hawaii and tells Brenda, “I still–.” She wonders what he was trying to say before he was cut off.
Brandon tells Jim, Cindy, Brenda, and Kelly about Felix and his appointment to talk to a social worker. He’s worried that Felix will be pulled out of his home and put into foster care. Cindy thinks he might have a relative or friend to stay with. Brandon asks if Felix can stay with them, because apparently the Walsh home is now open to all abandoned children and teenagers. Cindy tells Brandon to do what’s best for Felix.
At the club, Kelly apologizes to David for her behavior at dinner. He tells her that he’s not thrilled about their parents dating either. He notes that his parents’ divorce isn’t even final. He’s fine with Mel liking Jackie, he just wishes that Mel liked David’s mom more. Kelly can relate, since her own parents are divorced. The two agree that what’s important is that their parents are happy together. They decide to call a truce.
Brandon goes to Felix’s apartment to confront Suzanne, because he is both an idiot and the savior of all people everywhere. She’s angry over his accusations and tries to kick him out. She admits that she drank too much and hit Felix, but promises that it won’t happen again. Brandon tells her to get some help, but she doesn’t have the money. He wishes he’d talked to the social worker instead of coming over. Suzanne cries, telling Brandon that she feels bad for what happened and she wasn’t acting like herself.
Felix winds up in a children’s home, and when Brandon visits, Felix blasts him for breaking his promise not to say anything. Brandon assures him that he’s not going to abandon him. Then they go have lunch, and everything is fixed, and everyone lives happily ever after, and seriously, can we stop with the PSA episodes?
Thoughts: Leave it to Brandon to hijack what was supposed to be a Kelly/David episode.
More daddy issues! I can’t take it anymore.
The place where Brandon and Felix rollerblade is marked “bikes only,” but there are tons of other people rollerblading there. So…good job, location scout.
I should’ve figured out that Suzanne was evil. After all, she smokes.
September 11, 2011
Dawson’s Creek 3.9, Four to Tango: So You Think You Can Dance
This is the most action Dawson's bed has gotten in 16 years
Summary: Jen and Pacey make out on Dawson’s bed but still don’t have any chemistry. Jen suggests that they wait a week and then try again. They hear someone come home and try to escape through the window; Jen makes it but Pacey doesn’t. Dawson’s confused about why Pacey’s there, and why he’s only wearing one shoe. Jack shows Andie a bunch of e-mails from people who saw Dawson’s news piece on him. Unfortunately, many of the e-mails are not supportive. One’s from a guy named Ben who’s been where Jack is and offers to talk if Jack wants to.
Pacey meets with his guidance counselor and learns that he’s failing math; his other grades aren’t any better. Pacey won’t go into his personal problems, but the counselor wants to help him out. Andie encourages Jack to write Ben back, noting that it could lead to friendship or even a relationship. Just then Ben sends Jack an instant message. Andie makes Jack write back. Pacey butters up Joey for some notes and asks her to help him catch up in math. She doesn’t understand his claims that he’s too busy to study, since he doesn’t have as much to do as she does. Pacey tells her he’ll do anything if she helps him out.
Joey takes Pacey to a ballroom-dancing class, explaining that she could win a scholarship if she learns to dance well enough. Pacey figures out that she wants one dance class for each study session. Meanwhile, Dawson finds a condom in his room. The next day, Joey gives Pacey an assignment and he makes her promise not to tell anyone about the dancing. She assures him that she doesn’t want anyone to know either. Dawson tries to talk to Pacey about the condom, but Pacey’s eager to get away.
Jack tells Andie the things he’s learned about Ben through their Internet conversations. A teacher overhears and gives him some tips on Internet dating. Jen goes to the video store to see Pacey, who’s not working that day. Dawson notes that he’s been acting weird lately and wonders if there are any hot new teachers at Capeside. (Heh.) He tells her about finding Pacey in his room alone, finding the condom later, and Joey and Pacey spending so much time together.
Joey and Pacey study at school after hours, though he finds it difficult to learn without a reward. And he’s not talking about Joey’s Chex Mix. His last two “teachers” were Andie and Tamara, so now he equates studying with sex. Joey tells him he needs to work on his pickup lines. Pacey says he has another girl in mind, but he won’t tell her who it is. He adds that he has a no-strings-attached sex offer on the table with this girl. Joey says that if he really wanted to have sex with this mystery girl, he’d be doing it instead of talking about it.
Ben sends Jack a photo, and Jack admits that he’s pretty cute. Andie encourages him to set up a time to meet Ben. Jack’s too nervous, so Andie sets up the date for him. At the video store, Dawson and Jen spot Pacey and Joey together across the street and decide to tail them. They find them at their dance class and get mistaken for students and pulled into the room.
The teacher guesses that Jen and Dawson used to date but have worked out their issues and now trust each other. She also guesses that Joey and Pacey “are in the early stages of some screwball mating ritual.” The teacher shares her theory that two people who dance together as badly as Pacey and Joey do must be hot for each other: “The dancing doesn’t lie.” Andie helps Jack get ready for his date as he expresses his anxiety over this new stage in his life. Going out with a guy means not just telling the world he’s gay but actually being gay. Andie notes that he’ll be gay either way, but if he doesn’t go out with Ben, he’ll be gay and single.
At the class, the teacher pairs up different people, sticking Pacey and Dawson together while Jen’s placed with Joey. Dawson takes the opportunity to question Pacey about the condom in his room. They have to switch partners before Pacey can answer. Pacey tells Jen that Dawson found the condom, but Jen doesn’t think Dawson really cares that much. Joey tells Dawson that she’s taking the class for a scholarship, and he asks why she didn’t ask him to come with her. He tries to clarify that she and Pacey are just friends.
Pacey dances with Joey again, telling her that Dawson thinks they’re sleeping together. Dawson takes Pacey back, asking for the truth about the situation. Pacey tells him that he and Joey have only been dancing and studying together. He finds it interesting that when Dawson thought of Pacey being with a girl, his mind immediately went to Joey. Pacey notes that Joey and Dawson aren’t together anymore, so it doesn’t matter anyway. He reminds him that he told Joey they needed to go their separate ways; Joey actually is.
Pacey asks how long Dawson thought it would take for another guy to show interest in Joey. He warns that someday a guy is going to come along and fall in love with her and not be one of Dawson’s friends. Dawson asks again about the condom, but Pacey walks off. Jen goes after him and they wind up in a coat closet, talking about the possible reasons for their lack of chemistry. He puts an arm around her and she asks if he’s trying to tell her he’s ready for “a return to Witch Island.”
Jack goes to meet Ben as Dawson tells Joey that he’s sure Pacey’s hooking up with someone. Seconds later, the two of them catch Jen and Pacey making out in the coat closet. Dawson seems amused while Joey’s mad, telling them that someone’s going to get hurt. She doesn’t think Pacey’s acting like himself. She notes that he named his boat True Love, so at least part of him must be romantic.
After Joey storms off and Dawson goes after her, Pacey tells Jen that Joey knows about their “arrangement.” Jen’s surprised that he asked Joey for relationship advice. She doesn’t get why “boys in emotional turmoil” are always drawn to her. Pacey notes that there aren’t a lot of other people he can talk to. Jen says that he usually talks to Dawson, but Pacey must not have wanted to tell him that he’s interested in Joey.
Pacey tries to convince Jen that there’s nothing going on between him and Joey. Jen corrects that she and Pacey are the two who don’t have anything going on. He admits that he’s disappointed, but they’re both relieved. “Thanks for nothing,” she says before kissing him goodbye. Jack returns home and tells Andie that he didn’t meet Ben. He saw a straight couple together and wanted to be them, not himself. Andie assures him that he’s still brave, even if he doesn’t feel that way. She tells him that he’s just not ready, so she’ll stop pushing him. When it’s right, Jack will know, and he’ll walk through the door.
Dawson and Joey walk home, him telling her that Jen and Pacey trying to get together was inevitable. Joey’s upset that they’re using each other. Dawson says everyone’s guilty of that. He doesn’t think Pacey and Jen made their agreement not because they want sex but because they want comfort. He says Pacey’s lonely, but Joey doesn’t think that’s an excuse. Dawson says he could never have sex with someone he doesn’t love, but he understands the impulse. Joey goes off on the pointlessness of physical connections if there’s nothing behind them. Dawson tells her that you can’t control your feelings; people will always want to be closer to others.
Joey heads back to get her coat and finds Pacey alone in the ballroom. He tells her that he and Jen never slept together, in case that makes her feel better. Joey says it’s none of her business, but she’s totally pleased when Pacey tells her his agreement with Jen is probably over. The teacher invites Pacey and Joey to stay for the next class, revealing that they’re not giving the scholarship anymore. She offers them some free classes, and though Pacey says he’ll take them, Joey tells him he wasn’t that good.
Thoughts: Would you have sex with your best friend’s ex on his bed? I mean, really?
Remember when Andie served a purpose on this show? I’m starting to forget.
Shut up, Joey. No one cares what you think about sex.
