April 30, 2012
BH90210 3.21, Dead End: This Place About to Blow
Summary: Jack has bought a boat and is excited to show it to Dylan and Christine. They’re surprised to see that he’s gotten a huge yacht. He thinks he’s getting his reward after taking the fall for other people. It turns out that Wilson, the supposed captain, is actually the person Jack made a deal with for the trust money, and they’re being monitored by guys in an unmarked van. Jack asks Dylan to call Jim and find out what’s going on with the trust.
Jim chastises Brandon for reading the sports section instead of the more important parts of the newspaper. Brenda and Cindy are upset about a recent mugging, so Cindy suggests that they go to a self-defense class that weekend. Thanks to Jackie and Mel’s divorce, money is tight, and Jackie tells Kelly and David that she’s going to have to sell their house. Kelly’s sad because the house has been her one constant in life. Serge, David’s new producer, calls to tell him they’ll be going to the studio the following week. Kelly tells him to get rich fast so he can buy the house.
Brandon’s still reading the sports section at school, and Steve warns him not to follow in the footsteps of Pete Rose. David tries to apologize for firing Steve, who doesn’t want to talk to him. Brenda invites Donna to the self-defense class, telling her she needs to learn to be more aggressive. Donna wonders if Brenda’s only going because she doesn’t have anything else to do. Andrea jumps on the pro-self-defense bandwagon, so Donna tells her to go instead. Andrea, however, has a date.
Dylan surprises Jim at his office, asking if he’s heard anything about the trust. Jim admits that he doesn’t want to dissolve it. Dylan angrily says that he’ll decide what’s in his best interest. Jack deserves a second chance, so Dylan’s giving him one. Jim notes that Jack isn’t very impartial where the trust is concerned. Dylan doesn’t think Jack is either. Kelly laments to Jackie that everything’s changing, including her friendships. Jackie encourages her to give Brenda time to come to terms with the Dylan situation in her own way.
Brenda, Cindy, and Donna go to self-defense, where Brenda shares a little about her traumatic experience at the Peach Pit the previous year. The instructor tells her to use that anger as fuel. Dylan visits Jack on the yacht and they discuss Jim as the guys in the van listen in and Wilson gives Jack weird looks. At the Peach Pit, Steve’s surprised to see Andrea and Jordan together. Brandon admits that he can’t quite see them together (but not because Jordan’s black). Steve notes that Brandon got weird about Jay, too. Brandon accidentally lets slip that he and Andrea kissed.
Cindy raves about the class to Jim; she thinks Brenda can turn the experience into something really positive. She spots a pro/con list he’s made while considering whether or not to dissolve the trust. The cons all have to do with Jack, and the only pro is that Dylan deserves a father. Cindy thinks it’s time for her and Jim to let go of Dylan, especially since he and Brenda aren’t together anymore. The next morning, a bunch of potential buyers visit the Taylor/Silver house, putting everyone on edge.
Jack and Dylan confront Jim about dragging his feet on dissolving the trust. Jim announces that he’s made his decision: The money is theirs. He apologizes to Jack for being judgmental of what a father should be, and Dylan for getting in the way of his relationship with Jack. That night, the McKays, Kelly (still not eating), and Christine celebrate on the yacht and toast to “future greatness.” Jack proposes to Christine and everyone’s happy (at least the people on the yacht are; no word about the guys in the van).
Jackie gets an offer on the house the next day, but she’s not happy with it. Her agent tells her to take it anyway. Dylan rents a boat to take Kelly for a sail even though it’s raining. She spots a guy watching them through binoculars and points him out to Dylan. Dylan doesn’t see the binoculars and thinks the guy was just checking her out. Brandon’s lost some money (okay, more than some: $500) but thinks it’s just a “temporary setback.” Steve offers him some money but Brandon won’t take it.
Brenda and Cindy practice their self-defense moves on each other, impressing Jim. At least until he makes Karate Kid jokes. Jim gets word that the paperwork to dissolve the trust is ready. Cindy praises him for doing the right thing even though he didn’t really want to. Brenda overhears and tells Brandon, expressing her concerns over Dylan suddenly coming into $10 million. She thinks the money has already changed him. Dylan and Kelly make out on the boat and he invites her to spend the night, but she doesn’t want to make Jackie worry.
Cindy, Brenda, and Donna’s next self-defense class is full of PSAs. Dylan heads back to the yacht, and Jack asks if he’s okay with his relationship with Christine. (Isn’t it a little late to ask about that?) Jack wants to talk about a bunch of things, but says it’s not the right time. All he says is that sometimes you have to play dirty. Dylan asks if that means Jack knows some “bad guys.” Jack confirms this. Wilson interrupts to remind Jack that he needs to keep quiet. Jack wants to tell Dylan what’s really going on. Wilson warns that if he doesn’t shut up, both of them will die.
Steve tries to ignore David at the Peach Pit, but David wants him to understand that he needs to do what Icon wants until he’s a big enough star to call the shots. He learned that from Steve. Steve just wants tickets when David makes it big. Duke comes in to collect some money from Brandon, who, of course, doesn’t have it. He asks for a couple extra days, which Duke gives him, along with a warning that his kindness won’t be a regular thing.
Jackie tells Kelly and David that she turned down the offer on the house. She’s worried another one won’t come. However, she’s pleased with the family they’ve made. Jack says good night to Dylan, saying he might be gone early the next morning since he needs to visit some “contacts.” He assures Dylan that he won’t be associating with anyone nefarious. Then he sings “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” which he used to do when Dylan was a kid. Dylan thinks it’s all in fun until Jack gives him a long hug. Meanwhile, someone places a bomb under a car.
The next morning, another boater tells Dylan to let Jack know he needs to move his car before he gets a ticket. Dylan says he’ll do it himself. Kelly calls the yacht looking for him, so Jack goes out to find him. He stops Dylan before he can open the car door and takes him the phone. While Kelly and Dylan chat, Jack heads to the car. Moments later, it explodes.
Thoughts: If I hadn’t known what was going to happen, the ending would have really surprised me. (Actually, I thought the yacht was going to blow up, so I was a little surprised.)
I’m sorry, Jackie – it’s not fair for you to ask Mel for money? HE CHEATED ON YOU. Who cares what’s fair to him? And really, if he’s paying child support for Erin, he should be paying it for David, too, since you’re taking care of him.
By the way, how was Jackie paying the mortgage before she married Mel?
I think some of the women in the self-defense class were wearing pajamas. I don’t really know what to say about that, so I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.
April 29, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 5.7, Text, Lies and Videotape: Blue I.V.
Summary: Dawson and Jen are in downtown Boston, where he’s about to meet with the therapist he previously skipped out on seeing. Jen tells him therapy isn’t that bad. Dawson thinks he’ll feel weird talking to a stranger. Jen points out that she talks to strangers all the time on the radio (so apparently she’s been doing that).
Audrey has borrowed a video camera so she can film an audition tape for The Real World: Ibiza. She hasn’t decided who to be: “vamp, vixen, or all-out slut?” Joey’s getting ready for a meeting with Professor Wilder and the other students working on his estate project. She feels self-conscious because the other students are upperclassmen. Audrey thinks Wilder chose her for the project because she’s hot.
Danny works with Pacey on crepes for a big party at the restaurant the next night. Pacey listens while Danny and Karen chat, then asks if Danny’s wife will be at the party. Dawson meets his therapist, Dr. Rachel Weir, who quickly puts him at ease. She wonders whether his panic attacks are really the result of Mitch’s death.
Dawson admits that his life is completely different from how he thought it would be six months ago. He’s also not sure he wants to continue studying film. Dr. Weir tells him that the human brain isn’t set up to deal with trauma. If he’s lying to himself about his life, that’s okay. He just has to keep himself from believing those lies.
Wilder and his students discuss the letters written by Rose Lazar, the woman whose estate they’re dealing with. The letters are to someone named I.V., but no one knows who that is. Rose obviously cared about this person and was at her most honest when writing to him or her. Wilder asks the students to brainstorm ideas of who I.V. is.
Karen asks Pacey if he wants her to set him up with one of her friends. Pacey’s not in the mood for their usual banter and flirting now that he knows about Danny and Karen’s affair. He asks if Karen’s boyfriend’s coming to the party, noting that they’ve worked together for months and Pacey has never met him. He asks if the boyfriend ever takes her to a sailboat in the harbor.
Karen’s surprised that Pacey knows about the affair, since she didn’t know they were using his boat. She tells him it’s none of his business. Pacey disagrees, since he had to lie to Danny’s wife for Karen. Karen shoots back that in the real world, some people have to do things they don’t want to, and if Pacey isn’t mature enough to deal with it, he should stay out of it.
Back in Capeside, Gail asks Dawson about his therapy session, telling him that sooner or later, things will have to start going back to normal. He wonders what normal is. They meet with a lawyer about Mitch’s will, which he didn’t rewrite to include Lily after her birth. He suggests that Gail and Dawson look around the house for anything Mitch might have written down.
Wilder thinks Joey’s bored with the Lazar project, and she tells him she thinks the letters are boring. She’s in disagreement with a classmate who suspects they were to a secret lesbian lover. Joey says that if they were love letters, they wouldn’t be as honest as they are. People are more open with their friends. Wilder guesses that this means she doesn’t think people can be both friends and lovers. He helps Joey get to the idea that I.V. was a friend from Worthington.
Dawson searches the Leerys’ house, despite having told Gail that he was done. She’s starting to worry about his obsession. Also, she found an updated will, but Mitch never signed it. Joey goes to the Worthington library to look at Lazar’s yearbook, which her classmate, Cassandra, is already studying. She jokes that she’s only part of the project to be near Wilder.
Karen goes by Pacey’s boat and apologizes for putting him in the middle of her relationship with Danny, then being mean when he called her on it. Pacey reminds her of Danny. She excuses their affair by saying that Emily had left Danny when he and Karen first got together. He went back to Emily because he thought they could work things out. His optimism is the similarity she sees between Danny and Pacey.
Dr. Weir wants to see Dawson three times a week, which Jen thinks is a good idea, especially since it means she’ll get to see him more often, too. He tells her about the will and what Gail sees as a technicality that excludes Lily. Jen agrees that it was a mistake that Dawson shouldn’t read too much into. She’s worried that he’ll let Mitch’s error change him.
Audrey shows Joey some possible clips for her audition video, including one where she talks about having to forgive her mother before she can become the person she needs to be. She thinks she’s turning into her mother in some ways, and though she might not like her, she knows who that person is. If Audrey tried to change, she wouldn’t know who she might be. Joey has an epiphany and praises Audrey for being herself and not being afraid to look bad.
As the restaurant staff prepares for the party, Danny dances playfully with Karen, stopping suddenly when Pacey lets him know that Emily’s there. She’s oblivious and takes Danny away to dance for real. Pacey asks how Karen is, and she lies that she’s fine; what does he care anyway? He tells her he wants to be her friend – obviously she doesn’t have any or they would have told her that her affair is a horrible idea. Karen already knows Danny won’t leave Emily for her.
Dawson tells Dr. Weir that he’s mad about Mitch’s will but won’t allow himself to be. She points out that Mitch was mad at him. He wanted Dawson to go back to California, but that could have been because of his own expectations and reasons. Dawson feels angry about the last night he and Mitch talked, and Dr. Weir tells him it’s okay for him to feel that way. He just needs to decide what to do with his own life. Dr. Weir thinks he already knows what’s right for him.
Pacey spots Karen moping at the party and tries to cheer her up. She asks if he’s ever wanted to be someone else. (Yes, he’d like to be Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Ark.) They pretend to be other people, then dance. Karen loses her cool and announces that she wants to talk to Danny, but Pacey won’t let her, asking what she would say anyway.
Wilder and his students meet again, and Cassandra says she thinks the letters were to another writer, since Lazar talks about writing so much. Joey shares her theories that Lazar wrote the letters to herself as a sort of journal. She was the only person she felt comfortable sharing her fears and insecurities with. Wilder and the other students agree. After the other students leave, Wilder and Joey talk about Kafka and his fiancée, Felice, who had a “will they/won’t they” relationship (as Wilder describes it). “Ultimately, nothing happened,” he foreshadows.
Joey asks if Wilder really thinks she’s right about I.V. being Lazar. He says that as a freshman, her mind is more open than the other students’. Joey’s slowing down to learn rather than racing to keep up and pretending to know things she doesn’t. If you’re comfortable not knowing, you can learn anything. Joey admits that she felt insecure for a while. She thanks Wilder for picking her for the project, and he thanks her for sticking with it.
Dawson gets in his car to head back to Capeside and hears Jen play a song for him. Joey tells Audrey that she figured out the mystery of the letters from Audrey’s tape. Audrey thinks something happened between Joey and Wilder after the others left. Joey claims not to care that she impressed Wilder or that he thinks she’s special.
Pacey visits Karen at her house, bringing food from the party. She thanks him for all of the advice he’s tried to give her. She’s upset that Danny was all loving with Emily, as if Karen wasn’t even there. She knows she needs to end the relationship. Pacey tells her to change her dating pattern, and she asks if that means the two of them should get together. Just then, Danny leaves a message on her answering machine apologizing for putting her in the middle of his complicated life. Pacey leaves.
Back at home, Dawson gets a letter informing him that he won a film festival in New Hampshire, even though he never entered one. Gail tells him that Mitch entered him. Dawson announces that he’s not going back to USC, and his mother says that fine – she doesn’t want him to do something he doesn’t want to because he feels an obligation to Mitch. She assures him that Mitch always knew the decision was up to Dawson. They start sharing memories about Mitch and admit how much they miss him.
Thoughts: In the Strange But True category: Dr. Weir is played by Pauley Perrette from NCIS.
Audrey to Joey: “How come your film geek looks like Tom Cruise?” Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Also, if Audrey thinks that’s what Dawson looks like, she needs glasses.
Danny’s not that awesome. How did he get two women?
I’d rather watch the rest of Audrey’s tape than anything involving Joey and Wilder.
Joey says “Derrida” and I have ‘Nam-like flashbacks to my college lit-theory course. I have to go lie down now.
SVH #119, Jessica’s Older Guy: Schooled
Summary: Remember how Elizabeth decided she was going to stay at SVU? She tells Todd, and he is TICKED. And remember how Jessica was dating a college student named Zach? And how Magda, a girl from the sorority Jessica wants to join, also likes him? Jessica actually makes Zach leave a diner through a bathroom window before Magda and some Theta sisters can see them together. (I’m assuming they also dined and dashed.) Somehow, Zach still wants to be with Jess, and she decides she’ll stay at SVU, too.
Everyone thinks this is a horrible idea except the twins, and their friends decide to use some good, old-fashioned reverse psychology to make them change their minds. Headed by Enid, Lila, Todd, and Ken, they pretend they’re thrilled that the twins are leaving, rather than trying to talk them into staying. Their reasoning is awesome: Ned and Alice can travel instead of parenting, Lila will now be the most popular girl in school, and Enid will be the smartest, and will take over Elizabeth’s Oracle column.
Elizabeth starts her internship, which she won in the essay contest, but the editor-in-chief is sleazy, especially when you consider that he keeps checking out a 16-year-old. Also, Elizabeth hates doing what are basically secretarial tasks, though I don’t know what more she expected from, you know, an internship. Still, no one makes Elizabeth Wakefield fetch coffee, so she quits after two days.
Jess is still trying to hold onto Zach and pretend she’s in college. Billie knows about her scheme and is, for some reason, going along with it. Jessica finds out she wouldn’t be able to join the cheerleading squad until the next year, and that’s enough to make her second-guess her decision to stay at SVU. Keep in mind that neither twin is actually attending classes, so they’re only seeing the social part of college and making decisions based on that. Whatever, Jessica also misses Ken, even when she’s making out with Zach.
But there’s a big formal party at the end of the week, and Zach invites Jessica, so she’s obviously going to stick it out until then. However, she doesn’t want Magda to see her with Zach. She convinces Elizabeth to go to the party with Magda and two guys, but pretending to be Jessica. Jessica will in turn pretend to be Elizabeth with Zach, but only as far as Magda is concerned. In other words, Zach knows she’s Jessica, but Magda thinks she’s Elizabeth. Yes, that means two Jessicas. Just go with it.
Liz tells Magda that her sister (Elizabeth, as far as Magda knows) is all over Zach, and Magda’s surprisingly fine with it: She found out that Zach is also a high school student pretending to be in college. Elizabeth hilariously decides not to break the news to Jess.
The SVH kids are still on the Get the Girls Back bandwagon, so they all take a trip to SVU and, with help from Steven and Billie, arrange a surprise goodbye party. While they’re setting up, Todd and Ken crash the formal to get their girlfriends back. Todd sees Elizabeth (really Jessica) with Zach and thinks she’s happy. When the real Elizabeth sees him, she’s thrilled. Ken sees the real Jessica with her real new boyfriend and is rightfully angry. Zach is angry, too, when Jessica pretends they were just set up on a blind date. Then Magda spills the beans about Zach being in high school, which leads to a fight between him and Jess, but they ultimately laugh it off because the whole thing is ridiculous.
The action moves to the surprise party, where the twins’ friends run an actual slide show full of pictures of all their happy times in high school. I hope with all my heart that it was set to “I Will Remember You.” To the surprise of absolutely no one, the twins decide to go back to SVH, and Ken forgives Jessica, because why would he let a little cheating get in the way of his relationship with the hottest girl in school?
Thoughts: Magda and the Thetas would be a good name for a ’50s girl group.
Elizabeth is excited because the newspaper where she’s interning has Lexis/Nexis. Wasn’t that outdated even in 1995?
You’d think the newspaper’s editor-in-chief would know that “editor-in-chief” is hyphenated.
Also, if he called me “sweetheart” or any of the other names he calls Elizabeth, I would walk right out of his office within the first 30 seconds of meeting him, instead of putting up with it for two days like Liz.
Lila calls Todd a Philistine. I need Lila in my life for real.
Oh, wait, then she says an all-chocolate cake “goes against all the rules of dessert.” Never mind.
SVU’s football team is the Vanguards. What the–?
Zach: “How could I have been so stupid?” Jessica: “It is kind of amazing.” HA!
Todd, don’t make out with your girlfriend on her brother’s bed. That’s gross.
April 28, 2012
BH90210 3.20, Parental Guidance Recommended: Changes of Heart
Summary: Brenda mopes over the outcome of her love triangle with Dylan and Kelly, imagining taking an axe to his surfboard. Meanwhile, the other two lovebirds are making out on Dylan’s couch. Iris is due in town that afternoon, and Kelly wonders if she’s really psychic. Iris gets in early and shows up at the house just as clothes are about to be removed.
Kelly runs off to freshen up so she doesn’t have to meet her boyfriend’s mother for the first time looking like she’s just rolled around on the couch with her son. Iris is surprised by how messy the house is, thinking Brenda wouldn’t put up with it. Dylan takes his time telling his mother that a) he and Brenda broke up and b) he’s with Kelly now. Iris gets distracted asking for Kelly’s sign.
At the Peach Pit, Steve has set up a demo for David, but Donna objects since David already barely has time for the radio station. David wants to cut Steve out of the deal, and Steve warns that the record label will eat him alive. David gives in, knowing that Curtis Bray, the guy he’ll be meeting with, is a “shark.”
Andrea tells Brandon that she was invited to a get-together in San Marino for students who will be going to Yale. She’s worried since she’s not rich like the other students. Brandon worries that she’s having second thoughts about going to Yale. Kelly shows up to tell Donna about meeting Iris, who Kelly wasn’t too impressed with. She’s also not thrilled that Iris loves Brenda.
Later that night, Brandon checks on Brenda, telling her everyone was asking about her, including Iris. Brenda’s surprised since Jim never mentioned her coming to town. She confides that when she agreed to let Dylan choose between her and Kelly, she didn’t think she would lose. The next morning, Brandon looks at CD systems for his car, not telling his parents where he’s getting the money.
Brenda complains that people either ignore her or ask how she is too often. She would have liked to know that Iris was coming to town. Jim says he was just trying to keep her out of Dylan’s situation. Now Brenda wants him to keep his business confidential. Iris meets with Jim to draft a letter outlining her position on the trust fund. She thinks Jack is conning Dylan, preying on him for the first time. Dylan’s just hearing what he wants to hear from his father.
At the Bel Age, Jack warns Dylan that Iris is going to say a lot of nasty things about him the next day. Dylan admits that he isn’t sure if Jack is trying to rip him off or not. He notes that Jack made the money in the first place and gave it to Iris, who gave it to Dylan. Now Dylan wants to give some of it back.
Jack’s glad the money’s in Dylan’s name; otherwise he would have lost it when he went to jail, or Iris would have spent it. He starts talking business, saying that because of the recession, they need to move quickly on deals. Then he encourages Dylan to spend time with Iris, thinking part of her does want to open the trust. Dylan just needs to see where she stands and Jack will do the rest.
The next morning, Dylan does exactly what Jack wanted, inviting Iris on a drive to Ojai. She’s impressed that he’s so mellow now, compared to how he was the last time she saw him. He credits Kelly and Jack’s release for the change. Dylan wants his parents to spend some time together, which Iris reluctantly agrees to.
Steve, David, and Donna go to Icon Records to see Bray, the label’s president, but have to wait for a meeting. Andrea attends the Yale mixer and immediately feels out of place. She’s surprised to run into Jordan, who thinks Yale wants to turn him into the next Clarence Thomas. They bond over being scholarship students and disliking the snobs around them.
Bray finally graces David and Steve with his presence, telling them he gave David’s tape to a producer named Serge Menkin. He already wants to produce David’s music. Steve is skeptical since Serge is known to have a drug problem. David doesn’t seem to care. Bray sends Steve off to get Donna some free CDs, then tells Bray to “lose the yutz.” If he doesn’t fire Steve, they don’t have a deal.
Andrea learns that Jordan’s getting a full ride to Yale; she has some aid but still has to pay part of her tuition. The two of them laugh over a snob who’s mistaken Andrea for a much richer Zuckerman. Kelly stops by the Walshes’ to tell her that they were friends before Dylan came between them, and he’s not worth it if they can’t be friends now. Then Brenda starts cutting her hair, because it’s another fantasy.
Iris and Jack reunite at the Bel Age and discuss Iris’ idea to start some sort of spiritual school in Hawaii. Jack notes that Dylan could give her the money for it. Iris thinks Dylan planned the whole day with her to butter her up for Jack. She doesn’t want Jack to have access to the money she saved for Dylan. Jack accuses her of trying to be controlling. Iris announces that she’s leaving and Dylan can do whatever he wants.
Brenda’s still moping, and she finally breaks down and admits to Jim that she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t put on a brave face anymore. Iris wonders why Dylan is on Jack’s side, and Dylan notes that he’s spent more time with his father now than he has his whole life. He knows what it’s like to have people turn their backs on him, and he doesn’t want to turn his back on Jack.
At school, Steve encourages David to accept Bray’s deal at Icon. David hesitantly tells him that the label wants to make some changes. Steve says that since David’s the one with the talent, he gets to call the shots. Donna and Kelly are surprised that David would consider firing Steve, but David knows this is his chance to make his dream come true. Kelly advises him to come clean quickly.
Andrea tells Brandon about the Yale mixer and running into Jordan. Just then, Jordan sends Andrea a fax (hee) just to say hi. She clearly likes him. Dylan tells Kelly that Iris is going back to Hawaii, and the trust won’t be opened until he’s 21. Kelly tries to talk to Brenda, but Brenda points out that Kelly has Dylan now – what more does she want?
Iris comes by the Walshes’, but Brandon is so obsessed with watching basketball that he can’t be bothered to visit with her. Iris has brought Brenda a crystal to give her strength. She doesn’t think her relationship with Dylan is over; this is just a bump in the road. Brenda says she’s already getting rid of Dylan’s things. Iris has her picture the happiest time they had together, pointing out that her memories are more important than any of Dylan’s things.
David meets with Steve at the Peach Pit to break the news that he’ll no longer be David’s manager. Steve points out that David wouldn’t have gotten this far without him. David thinks he’s making the right choice for himself. Steve notes that he’s done some pretty horrible things, but David’s actions take the cake.
Before heading back to Hawaii the next morning, Iris tells Dylan she’s going to see Jim and sign some papers: She’s going to let him open the trust. She considers this a compromise with her “opponent.” Speaking of opponents, Brenda says a cool but civil hello to Kelly at school, letting her crystal give her strength (or something).
Jim is surprised by Iris’ change of heart, but she knows she can’t keep driving Dylan away or holding onto her contempt for Jack. She just wants her son to be happy. Even if things go poorly, it doesn’t matter since money can’t buy happiness. Brenda decides to store Dylan’s things in the garage instead of getting rid of them. However, she asks Cindy to burn it if she ever goes out to moon over it.
Brandon’s gotten his new sound system, as well as some skis and a couple things for Brenda and Cindy. Brenda’s confused about where he’s getting the money. Jim shares his frustration over Iris’s decision with Cindy, saying he thinks of Dylan as kind of a son and wouldn’t be able to throw his own child to the wolves. He plays to draw out the process as long as possible.
At dinner with Kelly (who’s not eating), Jack congratulates Dylan on helping him get Iris to change her mind, saying he hasn’t been this happy in a while. Then he goes into the bedroom to have one of his patented intense phone conversations: He lied to Dylan to get the money, and the person on the other end of the phone needs to hold up his end of the bargain.
Thoughts: Steve briefly talks to an assistant (I guess) at Icon, and despite her looking completely different from how I’ve ever seen her, I immediately recognized her as Sharon Lawrence.
Kelly, when Brenda pulls out the axe: “Where’d she get that?” Dylan: “I don’t know, it’s not my fantasy.” I laughed way too hard at that.
Every time someone says David is talented, I die a little inside.
Speaking of David, just look at the picture above. He’s wearing purple jeans. Purple! Jeans! Such a thing should not exist!
April 24, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 5.6, High Anxiety: In Vino Veritas
Summary: Dawson sees his doctor in Capeside, telling him about his recent anxiety attacks. They’re obviously tied to Mitch’s death. The doctor refers him to a psychiatrist in Boston, as apparently there are no psychiatrists closer to Capeside. At Worthington, Audrey cleans up her and Joey’s room in preparation from a visit from her mother. She’s really not looking forward to it. Joey’s surprised to hear that Audrey’s mom has ruined her self-esteem and hit on her boyfriends.
On Pacey’s boat, Jen tells Pacey about catching Charlie making out with another girl outside his room. She finds a necklace that most likely belongs to Danny’s mistress. Pacey thinks Jen should discuss this with Jack, but he’s too busy hanging out with his new frat brothers. He tells Jen that she can either get mad or she can get even. Back in Capeside, Dawson walks around the house and…stares at stuff. (Seriously, that scene had no point.)
Even though it’s his day off, Pacey swings by the restaurant for chowder and some flirting with Karen. He also returns the necklace to Danny, who’s still pretending he was there with his wife. He asks to use it again that night, but Pacey turns him down, claiming he’s throwing a party. Karen overhears and tells all of their co-workers. Dawson calls Joey and tells her he might be in Boston that weekend. They make awkward conversation about nothing.
Dawson goes to meet with the psychiatrist but gets annoyed having to wait so long and leaves. Audrey’s mother arrives at Worthington and immediately starts harping on Audrey about her weight. She asks if she looks more like Audrey’s mother or her sister. Audrey asks for someone to kill her. Mrs. Liddell invites Joey to have dinner with them, but before she can answer, Audrey pulls her into the bathroom and begs her to come.
Dawson heads over to Grams’ house, having not told anyone that he was going to be in town or that he wants to spend the night there. Jen’s dressed up but won’t tell Dawson or Jack where she’s going. Jack invites Dawson to come to the frat house with him, which Dawson thinks sounds like fun. Jen goes to Charlie’s dorm for a surprise sex romp, which he doesn’t want right then. She pretends she left a sweater in the closet, but he won’t let her open it. Of course, there’s a girl inside, and she claims to be Charlie’s girlfriend.
At the Sigma house, there’s some sort of drinking relay, and Dawson finds himself having a good time. Not having a good time: Joey or Audrey, since Mrs. Liddell is really, really annoying and criticizes everything Audrey says and does. Joey slips off to call Dawson, but when he sees who’s calling, he doesn’t answer his phone. Charlie points out to his two girlfriends that they never made any commitments to each other. He met them both on the same night and things just happened. So how about a threeway?
Mrs. Liddell brings up Audrey’s childhood acting and the fact that she was a model herself. She was up for a Scorsese movie when she found out she was pregnant. Mrs. Liddell thinks Audrey was more talented than she was, but she wasn’t focused enough to stick to acting. She tells Joey that Audrey went to six schools in four years; every enrollment ended in scandal. She reveals that she had to give a large donation to Worthington so they would admit her.
Joey finally speaks up, telling Mrs. Liddell that whether she’s disappointed or jealous, Audrey doesn’t deserve her anger. She’s interested, well-rounded, and disciplined, as evidenced by the fact that she keeps putting up with her mother’s insults. Then she tells Audrey they’re leaving for a party. Jen and Charlie’s other girlfriend, Nora, agree to the threeway, making Charlie strip before they’ll do anything. Once he’s naked, they make him close his eyes, then shove him into the hallway and lock his door.
The girls congratulate each other on a successful plan, revealing that they also stole a signed CD, class notes, and Charlie’s favorite shirt. They admit that they’re mad at themselves for thinking they finally found a guy who’s both cute and honest. Jen invites Nora to Pacey’s party, but Nora feels like moping by herself. Already at the party, Audrey and Pacey hit it off. No one’s heard from Dawson, who shows up just then with Jack and some other Sigmas. Dawson’s definitely drunk.
Pacey chastises Jack for letting Dawson drink, but Jack is just happy that Dawson’s feeling better. Dawson and Audrey reunite, and then he remembers that he was supposed to call Joey. He calls her right there, leaving her a message while she stands there and listens. It starts out jokey, but then Dawson says that if Joey hadn’t left him a message, he probably would have gone back to L.A. instead of Capeside. In that case, Mitch might still be alive. All Joey can do is stare at him.
Pacey wakes Dawson up on the boat the next morning and gives him a disgusting hangover remedy. Dawson can’t quite remember what happened the previous night, but he knows it was bad. Pacey thinks Joey will forgive Dawson before he forgives himself. Mrs. Liddell hugs Audrey goodbye, saying that she criticizes Audrey out of love. Audrey calls her out for not apologizing. However, she knows Mrs. Liddell is the only mother she has, and she’s the only daughter her mother has. This leads Mrs. Liddell to apologize.
Once her mother is gone, Audrey thanks Joey for defending her and taking her to the party. Joey made her feel good about herself. Audrey wishes she could return the favor. Dawson goes back to Grams’, where Jen is a little mopey but not as down as he is. He admits that he’s lucky since he has some great friends. Karen shows up to work at the restaurant tired, having worked the night before without much notice. Pacey admires her necklace, which he finds very familiar.
Joey takes Dawson to the train station as he apologizes for what he said the night before. She forgives him easily. She points out a $2 movie theater and suggests going to it the next time he’s in town. Dawson doesn’t know when he’ll be up to seeing a movie again. He doesn’t know what to do with himself at all. Joey tells him he has every right to feel that way.
Dawson admits that he came to Boston to see a psychiatrist but didn’t keep the appointment. He’s not sure why he left. When he decided not to go back to L.A., all he could think about was kissing Joey. He kept looking forward to the day when they might be able to try again, and just when it seemed possible, Mitch died and Dawson was pulled out of his daydreams. Now he doesn’t know how to get back there. He’s scared that he never will. Joey kisses him, telling him he’ll find his way back. Until then, she’ll daydream for both of them.
Thoughts: Mrs. Liddell is played by Brenda Strong, who’s probably best known for playing Mary Alice on Desperate Housewives.
When Jen’s talking to Pacey about Charlie and says, “She was his sister?” I misheard it as “she was my sister” and thought someone had finally told her about Eve.
Do Joey and Audrey have their own bathroom? No dorm has rooms that huge plus private bathrooms. Well, okay, my college had some good-sized rooms with suite bathrooms, and I did spend a semester in a good-sized single with my own bathroom, but that bathroom was tiny. (Man, that semester was awesome, though.)
I’m surprised Joey didn’t give Audrey a speech about how she should just be glad she has a mother. Thank you, Joey, for being likable.
You know who Dawson should talk to about anxiety? Andie. Oh, wait, I forgot that Andie no longer exists.
April 23, 2012
BSC Mystery #26, Dawn Schafer, Undercover Baby-sitter: Like The Westing Game, But Without the Good Parts
Summary: Now that the BSC girls are back from Hawaii, there’s a lot of sitting to be done. The girls get two calls for the same house and are told that two sitters will be needed for two separate sets of kids. It’s Dawn’s book, so of course she’s one of the sitters. The story is that there are two estranged sisters staying at the house, which belonged to their late father. They’re staying with their kids in separate wings and don’t want the kids to spend time together.
More of the story comes out as the sitting job goes on: There’s a younger sister, Amy, who’s also staying at the house, and there was a younger brother named Patrick who died as a teenager. The sisters’ father, Arthur Livingston, made sure each daughter received a clue when he died. Whoever solves some stupid puzzle gets his estate. The guy was clearly a jerk and enjoyed making his children compete with each other, which is why the older sisters hate each other. Amy wants everyone to work things out, and she especially wants to get to know her nieces and nephew.
Since it’s a Dawn book, there’s also some spooky stuff going on in the house. Dawn thinks Mr. Livingston isn’t really dead, since she sees a recent check with the signature A. Livingston on it. She also keeps feeling like she’s being watched and thinks the butler, John, is a bit suspicious. Dawn hears him and Amy fighting about revealing information and can tell there’s something strange going on there.
Anyway, the kids are pretty nice but don’t understand why they’re not allowed to hang out together. The sisters eventually agree to let the BSC girls get them together, and the kids all get along well. One of them reveals that she knows her mother’s clue, which gets the kids thinking about the mystery. Amy also shares her clue with Dawn, so the kids and the BSC girls have two of the three clues. The kids convince the other mother to share hers, and after some thinking (more than should be necessary, since the clues are incredibly easy), Dawn figures out that they need to find a portrait in the house.
The sisters find the right portrait, but before they check the code on the back to see if it matches what they need to get the inheritance, John reveals that he’s actually Patrick. Mr. Livingston was mad at him for something or another and told his sisters (but not Amy) that he was dead. What a lovely man. Suddenly the sisters want to work things out and split the inheritance four ways. They’ve found the right portrait, so they get the inheritance, and everyone is happy. Mr. Livingston is presumably burning in Hell. Oh, and the A. Livingston signature was Amy’s, not that anyone cares.
The B-plot is also Dawn’s: She’s so popular and busy that she doesn’t have much time to spend with Mary Anne. Apparently three months in Stoneybrook aren’t enough. First Dawn holds a Friends Day to hang out with the BSC girls, some other Stoneybrook friends, and a bunch of sitting charges. Then she has a Family Day with Mary Anne and their parents. Then she goes back to California and we get to celebrate because this is the last Dawn book. Yay!
Thoughts: Clearly someone read The Westing Game before writing this book. Both stories are about a will that includes a puzzle, and both puzzles end up requiring the participants to share clues to solve it. But The Westing Game is ten million times better than this book. The clues in this one are really lame. Cary’s were much better. When a 13-year-old comes up with better clues than an old man, you know there’s a problem.
Patrick’s alias is John Irving. I wonder if the ghostwriter meant that as a reference to the writer or if it was just a coincidence.
I’m surprised Dawn doesn’t say anything about using candy as a prize when she and Abby organize a treasure hunt for their sitting charges.
Seriously, now all I want to do is reread The Westing Game. And imagine Turtle kicking Dawn in the shins.
Kristy takes her family trip to Hawaii, but the BSC girls barely mention it. They don’t even give her a going-away party or anything. Weird.
April 22, 2012
BH90210 3.19, Back in the High Life Again: Like Father, Like Son
Summary: A limo drives through Beverly Hills, carrying Dylan and a newly-sprung-from-jail Jack. Dylan wants to know what his father plans to do with his life, but Jack’s more interested in celebrating his freedom than anything else. They wind up at the Bel Age Hotel, where a bunch of reporters are waiting to talk to Jack. He tells them how happy he is and says he’s going to Disney Land with his son.
Things are much less happy at the Taylor/Silver house, where Jackie and Mel are fighting over his affair with a 19-year-old dental hygienist. Jackie has changed her mind about working things out and tells Mel to live. Kelly and David are both sad about the turn of events, though David isn’t surprised, since this is what happened between his parents. Kelly’s worried that Erin will grow up with an absent father like she did. David isn’t sure where he’ll wind up now.
Dylan calls to invite Kelly to a party Jack is throwing at the Bel Age that night. She doesn’t want to ditch David, but he has study plans with Donna, so Kelly agrees to go. The Walshes watch Jack on TV, and we all know Jim hates Jack, so he’s not happy about his parole. Dylan calls and extends a party invitation to Brenda. Jim doesn’t want to let her go, claiming it’s about Jack, not Dylan. He says Jack went to jail for insider trading, but there’s a lot more to his crimes than that, including mob connections.
At the Peach Pit, Brandon and Steve discuss the party, which Steve is skipping for a basketball game. Brandon wants to place a bet, and when Steve declines to participate, Brandon asks Nat to call Duke. Steve finds Andrea looking through fashion magazines, preoccupied with hair color. He encourages her to go blonde. She thinks it would be radical, and he notes that she might need that.
The Bel Age party is fancy and not well-attended. In fact, Kelly’s the only one of Dylan’s friends who can make it. (Brenda has decided to humor Jim and stay home.) Kelly meets Jack and Christine as Dylan notes that Jack no longer has the entourage he used to. Christine replies that he doesn’t have the money he used to either. Brenda tries to talk to Brandon about the party, but he’s busy watching the basketball game he bet on. He tells her this is the only thing keep him from being bored this year.
Kelly confides her family problems to Dylan, saying she wishes Jackie and Mel would start the divorce proceedings already. Dylan invites her to spend the night at the hotel. Kelly declines but agrees to go swimming. They reminisce about an earlier party in the same pool, then start horsing around. This leads to a makeout session.
Kelly wonders what would have happened if Brenda had come to the party. Did Dylan choose her because Brenda isn’t there? Now that Jackie and Mel’s relationship has broken up because of an affair, Kelly doesn’t want to be the other woman in a relationship. Dylan promises that he chose her. Kelly says they need to tell Brenda everything, including their affair over the summer.
Andrea and Donna go to a drugstore so Donna can help pick out hair dye. She thinks Andrea would look better as a redhead than a blonde. Andrea wants to make sure she doesn’t look geeky when she goes to Yale. She’s learned from the spa trip that “beauty may be skin deep, but it’s no sin to be beautiful.” Donna promises that she’ll look ungeeky, noting that if she doesn’t like her new hair color, she can dye it again.
Jack tells Dylan that he did lose a lot of money, but he stashed some away for them to live well. When that runs out, he’s sure he can make more. Dylan notes that it’s not the ’80s anymore. Jack teases that he should be a financial expert; if he’s going to be in charge of his trust fund, he should know what he’s doing. Dylan tells him Jim takes care of everything. Jack isn’t sure he’s doing a good job, and if Dylan isn’t sure either, he should do something.
Jim reads in the paper that Jack is still facing civil suits. He also thinks Jack has some money stashed away, despite the paper’s claims that he’s broke. Brenda’s not happy with Jim for keeping her home the previous night, especially since Kelly was allowed to go to the party. Cindy points out that Jackie has other things occupying her time, reminding Brenda that she isn’t Kelly. Jack calls to introduce himself to Jim and ask for a meeting. Jim is less than thrilled, and Brenda’s worried that Jack will try to get his hands on Dylan’s money.
David confronts Mel about his marriage and his actions. Mel says he just can’t be monogamous. David refuses to move to Portland to live with his mother, so Mel says they can get their own place. David’s upset that he has to move away from Erin just because their father can’t keep his hands to himself. (I don’t think his hands were the problem, David.)
At school, Dylan invites Kelly to dinner with Jack and Christine that night. Kelly admits that she’s preoccupied with the Brenda situation. Brenda joins them, telling Dylan she had to miss the party so she could study. After he leaves, she confirms that Kelly didn’t tell Dylan that Jim wouldn’t let her go. Kelly’s surprised that Brenda has met Jack, though that first meeting didn’t go well. Brenda tells her that Dylan and Jack’s relationship hasn’t always been as good as it is now.
Dylan sarcastically thanks Brandon and Steve for ditching the party the night before; he’s especially mad at Brandon, though he knows Jim is behind their absence. He snarks that it’s nice to know who his friends are. That afternoon, Donna helps Andrea dye her hair while David brings everyone’s mood down by complaining about Mel moving. Andrea wonders why David can’t just stay with Jackie and Kelly. David thinks he would be a reminder to Jackie of what Mel did. The girls encourage him to at least ask Jackie about it.
At the Peach Pit, Brandon asks Nat if Duke has stopped by with the $100 he won on the basketball game. Nat realizes that he forgot to place the bet. Steve wonders if he’s telling the truth. Nat gives Brandon $100 of his own money to make up for the mistake. Brandon asks for Duke’s phone number instead so he doesn’t have to place bets through Nat. Nat wants to keep an eye on Brandon, who notes that he’s always on his best behavior, so there won’t be any trouble.
Jack and Dylan meet with Jim in his office to tell him that Dylan wants Jack to manage his money. Jim says that Jack’s legal problems and criminal record would preclude him from managing a trust. Jack, however, wants to dissolve the trust. Jim points out that Iris established the trust and Dylan doesn’t get the money until he turns 21.
Jack sends Dylan out of the room, thanks Jim for his help, and reminds him that it only takes three signatures to dissolve the trust: Jim’s, Iris’, and Dylan’s. If Iris agrees, they’re two-thirds of the way there. Jim doesn’t think Iris will go along with the idea. Jack calls his bluff by picking up the phone and telling him to make the call.
Brenda is rightfully upset with Brandon for ignoring her the previous evening. He thinks she’s taking her anger at Jim out on him. Brenda says she could have gone to the party if she wanted to, but she stayed away because she’s not sure about Jack’s character. Even though she and Dylan got close, she never completely understood him. Jack’s return has made him even more distant. “Maybe the rich are different,” Brandon doofuses.
At dinner with Dylan, Kelly, and Christine, Jack raises a toast to what he thinks is a done deal on the trust. Jack and Christine both leave the room, and Dylan tells Kelly that he’s not as confident as Jack is about Iris agreeing. In the other room, Jack has an intense phone conversation with someone, promising that the trust plan is a done deal.
Dylan again invites Kelly to stay over, but she doesn’t want to until they tell Brenda everything. He points out that she had the chance to tell Brenda at school but didn’t. They agree to talk to her together the next day. Kelly sneaks in late and is caught by Jackie, who’s upset that she’s so late but soon backs off since Kelly’s happy. Erin cries, and Jackie and Kelly find David taking care of her. David says he’ll miss being there for her all the time. Jackie decides that Erin’s home is David’s home, so he can stay.
At school, Brenda asks Dylan to see a movie that night. He already has plans with Jack. She can tell something’s wrong, but Dylan just says he has a lot on his mind. Brenda doesn’t want their fathers’ animosity to come between them. Andrea, now kind of a redhead, shows her new style off to Donna and David. David can’t tell much of a difference but says she looks great anyway. According to Mel, smart women want to hear that they’re beautiful and beautiful women want to hear that they’re smart. Donna tells him to stop taking advice on women from Mel.
Andrea’s disappointed that Steve and Brandon don’t notice anything different about her. After a few moments, Steve realizes that she dyed her hair, but they make Brandon try to figure it out for himself. Dylan apologizes to Brandon for being angry about the party; Brandon doesn’t need to prove anything about their friendship. Dylan continues that he won’t be coming by the Walshes’ much anymore – he and Brenda are definitely over.
After school, Dylan and Kelly go to the Walshes’, take Brenda for a walk, and tell her everything. She’s understandably angry. She asks if they slept together, which they deny. Dylan wants them to start over from a more honest place, but Brenda says this isn’t about honesty. She hates both of them and never wants to talk to them again. Dylan assures Kelly that Brenda will be fine, but Kelly isn’t sure the two of them will be.
Thoughts: I really, really don’t get Mel’s appeal. How has he been married twice, not to mention landed at least two mistresses? Now, Jack’s appeal, I get. He’s a bit of a silver fox.
If Andrea really wants to ungeekify herself, she needs to stop doing her hair like she’s a 40-something soccer mom.
Brandon doesn’t seem to be keeping his betting a secret, so why haven’t Jim and Cindy stepped in to say something about it? And why is Nat enabling him?
April 20, 2012
The best thing ever
Also, he tweeted the real Brian Austin Green.
And asked him to come to his birthday party.
Happy Friday!
April 19, 2012
SVH #118, College Weekend: In Case You Didn’t Know, Elizabeth is the Queen of Everything
Thoughts: Jessica and Elizabeth’s “reward” for retaking the SAT is to visit Steven at SVU. (Apparently Steven doesn’t get a say in this.) They immediately take over his and Billie’s apartment, and Jessica throws a big party with a bunch of college kids. Steven and Billie go to a bed and breakfast but have a horrible experience and come back early, before the twins can clean up the post-party mess. So they’re off to a great start.
At the party, Jessica meets a guy named Zach who thinks she’s a college student. You might be shocked to learn that she does not correct his misperception and instead goes along with it. Elizabeth meets a guy named Ian, but they’re totally just friends! You guys, seriously! Just friends! She loves Todd! Don’t even think like that!
Jessica loves college life because a) there are no parents to tell her what to do, b) the sisters in the sorority she wants to pledge like her, and c) Zach is hottt. They hang out a bunch, and Jessica keeps pretending she’s a college student, even getting poor, patient, doesn’t-deserve-this-crap Billie to go along with her lies. But then Jess finds out that Magda, the treasurer of her desired sorority, likes Zach, and she worries that that will keep her from being asked to pledge. Despite the fact that she won’t be in college for two more years, and Magda probably will have graduated by then.
Elizabeth goes to a journalism class with Ian (who is totally JUST A FRIEND, I swear!) and gets yelled at by the professor for thinking she’s just as good as anyone else there. It’s awesome. The professor announces an essay contest, with the essay being due first thing the next morning. When she asks if Liz is going to write one, of course Elizabeth can’t say no. She stays up all night working on it and wins the contest, because Elizabeth is awesome at everything, which means that hanging out with a boy she has feelings for is NOT CHEATING, because awesome girls don’t do that.
Anyway, the prize is an internship and publication in a national magazine. (AS IF.) The professor tells everyone that Elizabeth is awesome (thank you, but we already knew that), and encourages her to leave SVH, get her GED, and enroll at SVU so she can become a famous journalist faster. So of course, Liz listens to her, because when people say nice things about her, she believes them.
Meanwhile, Steven and Billie keep trying to get some alone time so they can…I don’t know, make out? ‘Cause they’re not having sex (see below).
Thoughts: Why is this book called College Weekend when the twins are at SVU for a week? And why is this miniseries called “Loving Ambitions” when that makes no sense?
I highly doubt that the people who brought the keg to the twins’ party would just abandon it there, especially since it wasn’t empty.
Steven and Billie really confuse me. It seems like their apartment only has one bedroom, but when Billie first moved in, they had two bedrooms. That was the whole point of Steven getting a roommate. So we can assume they’re sharing a bed, right? But when they go to the bed and breakfast, Steven sleeps on the couch. And there’s no way a Wakefield would have premarital sex, right? I mean, he’s not Annie Whitman.
Zach and Jessica drink wine at dinner, so enjoy your arrest for giving alcohol to a minor, Zach.








