"Let's see, you've spelled 'cancer,' 'death,' 'mortality,' and 'morphine.' This is the worst game ever!"

Summary: Leerys’ Fresh Fish is hopping, but Gail’s not happy with Gretchen’s work habits. She hopes it’s because of her pregnancy, not because she doesn’t like Gretchen and Dawson’s relationship. Dawson assures her that it’s her hormones. Gretchen wants the two of them to go out with a couple of her friends from college the next night. Dawson’s concerned that it’s too soon, but Gretchen’s sure that he’ll make a good impression.

Drue is now working at the yacht club, and he’s not happy about it. Mrs. Valentine guesses that Joey wants a couple days off to attend Capeside High’s senior trip; she’s willing to offer a trade. Drue is having dinner with Anna, the daughter of the president of the yacht club’s board, and Mrs. Valentine wants Joey and Pacey to double date with them. Joey gets the weekend off for the trip if Anna has a good time on the date.

Mr. Brooks and Dawson work on their movie, though Mr. Brooks is now in a wheelchair and Grams is taking care of him. While Grams is out of the room, Mr. Brooks asks Dawson to sign some papers that supposedly allow him to get Mr. Brooks’ medication. After he leaves, Mr. Brooks pretends to take his pills and lies to Grams about paying the nursing agency he was using. Pacey disapproves of Gretchen’s choice of clothing for her night out with Dawson and her friends. She thinks something’s bugging him but he won’t talk about it.

Tobey runs into Jack and asks him to help out with a tutoring program he’s working with. Jack’s worried that, like with the soccer team, the parents will disapprove of his sexuality. Tobey assures him that everyone involved with the program knows he’s gay and is fine with it. Pacey and Joey meet up with Drue and Anna, who already hate each other. Anna’s also not the brightest, as she thinks Pacey is Joey and can’t figure out who Potter is.

Mr. Brooks thinks the movie is complete, though Dawson has a few tweaks he’d like to make. Mr. Brooks tells him to “let it go.” Then he asks Dawson to tell him more about Gretchen. Before he leaves for his date, Dawson helps Mr. Brooks to a chair and is surprised when the man hugs him. Gretchen and her friends Kira and Jessica meet Dawson at his house before heading out to a club. Gail imposes a 1 o’clock curfew, unconcerned about embarrassing him in front of Gretchen. She warns that Dawson and Gretchen are in two very different places.

Pacey, Joey, Drue, and Anna play mini-golf, and Joey takes Drue’s cell phone so he can’t call the girl he’s supposed to see later. She orders him to be nicer, maybe even taking a page from Pacey’s book, since he’s being ultra-nice to Anna. Jack shows up to tutor with Tobey as Gretchen, Jessica, and Kira talk sex and college. Dawson’s clearly out of his element.

Joey continues trying to get Drue to be nice to Anna, who is even dumber than first believed. Drue gets nastier and nastier, so Pacey decides the date’s over. Drue asks him why dumb girls will only have sex if you tell them they’re pretty, but pretty girls will only have sex if you tell them they’re beautiful. Anna blames herself for the disaster date, and she can’t believe she’s already slept with Drue.

Dawson, Gretchen, and the others head to the club, and he admits that he’s never felt more his age than he has tonight. It gets worse, since he gets stamped with an “under 21″ stamp. Pacey tries to cheer up Anna, telling him he’s not book smart either, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other things they’re good at. Anna says she’s good at men, but this time she fell into bed too easily. Pacey tells her Drue’s the dumb one for not liking her.

Dawson learns that Gretchen and her friends keep “loser lists” of the horrible guys they’ve slept with. Jessica and Kira assure Dawson that he’ll never end up on Gretchen’s list. He becomes less and less comfortable with the situation. Jack works with one of the kids being tutored, deciding that since he can’t find a story he wants to read, they should write their own, using only words that the kid can spell.

Joey catches Drue hitting on another girl, so she tells him it’s time to talk about their baby. Then she blasts him for sleeping with Anna and then treating her so horribly. She knows he acts the way he does because he doesn’t want people to get too close. Joey warns that if he keeps it up, he’ll get exactly what he wants and be alone forever. Drue admits that he’s horrible with girls because he’s only ever gone to all-boy schools. She compliments him for being honest and real with her. Drue ruins it by noting that Pacey and Anna look cute together.

Tobey praises Jack for being so good with his kid. He invites him to meet up with some people for coffee, and Jack hesitates but accepts. Done at the club, Gretchen and her friends want to go somewhere else, but Dawson’s sure he can’t get in, what with still having “under 21″ stamped on his hand. He encourages the others to go without him while he takes a cab home. Gretchen tells him to take her car instead, since they’ve been drinking.

The Joey/Pacey/Anna/Drue date is also over, and Drue has stopped being a jerk for once. He even tells Anna he’d be willing to go out with her again. Grams and Mr. Brooks spend the evening playing Scrabble, and he admits that he’s glad Dawson took his boat because it led to him and Grams getting together. She reminds him that they met years ago. Grams finds a tin full of the medication Mr. Brooks hasn’t been taking, and he tells her he just wants to die with dignity and make his own decisions about his life.

Jack goes with Tobey to meet his friends, confronting Tobey over inviting him to meet another couple. He thinks he’s being set up on a double date. He also suspects that Tobey started the tutoring program to spend time with Jack. Jack makes it clear that he’s willing to be friends, but nothing more. He and Tobey don’t click, and nothing Tobey can do will change that. He decides he can’t help tutor anymore, but Tobey would rather Jack continue while he stops. Jack realizes that it’s ridiculous for either of them to quit.

At the Leerys’, Gail has fallen asleep waiting up for Dawson, who admits that he didn’t have a good time. He’s realized that Gail was right about him and Gretchen being in different places. Gail tells him she was actually wrong and has spent the evening regretting what she said. She’s trying to figure out how to let him go. Dawson says that Gretchen has had a lot more experiences than he has, but Gail notes that they make her who she is. He needs to stick with it and see what happens.

Gretchen shows up, having ditched her friends. She assures Dawson that she doesn’t care about his age, but it bothers him that there are some things they can’t do together. Gretchen tells him she’s doing what she wants to do by being with him. Dawson warns that he won’t stand for being the nice guy she turns to after a bad relationship. She lets him know that’s not all he is.

Joey tells Pacey what she learned from Drue, and Pacey wonders why Anna would give him another chance. Joey doesn’t agree that Anna’s reasonable since she slept with a guy she’d just met. Pacey notes that if two people do something they both want to do, it’s fine. Joey knows he’s frustrated because they haven’t had sex. She worries that if they don’t do it soon, Pacey will dump her.

Joey reminds Pacey that he said he was fine with waiting. He assures her that he doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their relationship, but if they’re not progressing, it’s not because of him. Joey promises Pacey that she wants to jump his bones, but she’s holding herself back because she’s scared. Pacey admits that he is, too, which makes her feel better. The next day, Dawson goes to see Mr. Brooks, who’s on the floor, unconscious.

Thoughts: Kira is played by Rachel True, who people would probably best know as Rochelle from The Craft.

Really, Dawson? You think you have to sign legal paperwork to be authorized to pick up someone’s medication? You should meet Anna. You two are about on the same wavelength smarts-wise.

Aww, Jack should be a teacher.

Who did Michelle Williams tick off to get cut out of yet another episode?

Is Tobey supposed to be sweet? Because he’s kind of a creeper.

Three cheers for bad ideas!

Summary: Jessica’s upset about learning that Elizabeth and Ken had some super-secret affair that was never mentioned until the last book, but there’s no time for that! Jessica’s no longer on the cheerleading squad, and that’s so much more important than anything ever. Ken suggests that she start her own squad, so Jessica goes right to work recruiting dancers (some who we’ve read about before, like Jade and Patty), as well as Sandy and Maria. She also gets Lila to join the squad.

Jess thinks Elizabeth will make a good cheerleader, too, so she blackmails her into joining: If Liz doesn’t, Jessica will tell Todd about her relationship with Ken. We all know how Elizabeth feels about cheerleading, but she hates Heather even more than cheering, so she decides to stick with it. The squad ends up being awesome, despite having only three actual cheerleaders on it. The only problem is that Heather’s now-teeny squad (there are only four girls left on it) is already going to regionals, and only one squad from each school can go.

Since Wakefields never take no for an answer, Jessica tries to convince the cheerleading scout to give her squad a chance. It doesn’t work. The girls then crash halftime at a football game and get the people of Sweet Valley on their side. Mr. Cooper allows the two squads to have a cheer-off at school, and the squads tie. The scout says they can both go to regionals if they combine. The girls are pleased with this, except Jessica and Heather, who refuse to either work together or let the other girl lead the squad.

Elizabeth and the other cheerleaders dream up a supposedly brilliant plan to convince each captain that the other has decided to step down. Somehow, Jessica and Heather don’t figure this out during their practices. The squads go to regionals together and win. Heather and Jessica aren’t happy to learn that they were fooled by their teammates, but they’re so happy to be going to states that they decide to let it go.

Through all of this, Elizabeth still has it bad for Ken, who’s now hot and heavy with Jessica. Well, as hot and heavy as teenagers in Sweet Valley get with each other. At one point Ken mistakes her for Jessica and Elizabeth is all, “This is heaven.” After regionals, Elizabeth fails to tell Jessica that Ken wants to take her to watch a meteor shower. She then cancels her own date with Todd, dresses up and Jessica, and goes on the date with Ken, who’s totally fooled. When they make out, he figures out she’s not Jessica, but Elizabeth realizes that she wants to be with Todd anyway.

Jessica’s at a party at Lila’s while this is going down, and she doesn’t know anything’s up until Heather mentions seeing Elizabeth and Ken together. Jessica rushes home, sees that Elizabeth’s borrowed her clothes, and realizes what her supposedly saintly twin is up to. Ken and Liz decide to tell Todd everything, but it’s too late: Jessica has already told him everything.

Thoughts: Elizabeth writes in her diary, “Ken kissed me like no one’s ever kissed me before.” With tongue?

Jessica puts her awesome squad together in about a week. I’m imagining it all as an ’80s movie montage.

After Jessica blackmails Elizabeth, they don’t talk about Ken at all, and Elizabeth doesn’t even seem that mad about being blackmailed. What a waste of potential drama.

Guido’s has a waterfall? Is it really Casa Bonita? Does it have food and fun in a festive atmosphere?

Shannen tries to explain to Tori that they're not actually going to Paris for this story arc

Summary: Brandon is hanging out with Andrea’s kids at the beach club, getting buried in the sand. He notices a deaf kid sitting with his mother nearby. Henry sends Brandon back to work, but no one will help him get out of the sand. He tries to make plans with Andrea for that evening, but he’s too late to distract her from Jay. Steve shows Brandon the front page of the paper, which mentions Dylan’s father being up for parole.

Dylan’s already at the prison to meet with his father before his parole hearing. Jack asks him to write a letter talking about how awesome his dad is. Dylan’s hesitant, so Jack guilts him into agreeing. Brenda and Donna have just arrived in Paris with every piece of clothing they own. Donna’s annoyed by all the smoking in the city; she tries to get Brenda to lecture their cab driver about it. In response, he kicks them out of the cab.

The girls check into their hotel, where they get a bare room with a view of a brick wall and hardly any place for their clothes. They meet three of their fellow classmates, who aren’t all that friendly. Brenda begs Donna not to call David, thinking she’ll get homesick. Andrea has dinner with Jay, who’s about to go to Houston for the Republican National Convention. He offers to get her a spot on the trip, and she says she’ll get to “smoke out the enemy.” She’s shocked to learn that he’s a Republican, and he’s shocked to learn that she’s a Democrat. Then they make out in public.

The next day, Andrea (who happens to know some sign language), meets the deaf boy, Cameron, and invites him to the kids’ camp. His mother doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Brenda and Donna do the tourist thing in Paris, but Donna’s obviously not happy. Brenda finally calls her on it, saying she’s going to take advantage of the immersion experience to actually immerse herself in the culture.

Jay visits Andrea at work and tells her she can come to the convention. (Uh, doesn’t she have a job?) Brandon sees them hugging and puts on his sad face. Later, Andrea and Jay make out and Steve tells Brandon that she’s trying to make him jealous. He encourages Brandon to make a move before it’s too late. (Isn’t it already too late? Shut up, Steve.)

Cameron comes to hang out with Andrea’s kids, telling her that his mother gave him permission. It’s a lie, though, and his mother isn’t happy about him wandering off. She doesn’t think Andrea would be able to keep an eye on him while also watching the other kids. Andrea convinces her to let Cameron spend one day with the kids just to try it out.

Donna and Brenda go out to a fancy restaurant and Brenda lectures Donna about making sure none of the locals takes advantage of their naivety. Brandon infiltrates a water-balloon toss and gets all the kids to throw their balloons at Andrea. They chat about the convention, which Andrea’s allowed to leave her job to attend, and Brandon notes that she’s dumping Cameron to go. Andrea’s mad at him for trying to make her feel guilty.

Donna hallucinates David, I guess because otherwise Brian Austin Green wouldn’t be in this episode. Brenda thinks she “can’t accept the idea of [her] own independence.” Part of the reason she came to Paris was to show that she’s in charge of her life, and Jim and Dylan aren’t. The girls are unimpressed with their dinner, which was supposed to be veal but which is actually brains.

Kelly finds Dylan at the beach club trying to write his letter for his father’s hearing. She tells him she and Jake are through. Dylan says he warned Jake not to mess with her, but Kelly says she was the one who got too interested. They reminisce about being in the same kindergarten class. Dylan laments that he can’t come up with anything nice to say about Jack, so Kelly tells him he might as well lie.

Brandon catches Andrea on her way to a date with Jay and tells her how much he’ll miss seeing her while she’s in Houston. He kisses her, which leaves her stunned. She thinks he’s only interested because she’s with Jay. She asks where he’s been over the last couple of years while she was pining for him. The next day, Brandon complains to Steve about wanting a girl he can’t have. He apologizes to Andrea for what she saw as an insult with his kiss. She assures him that they’ll always be friends.

After their first day of classes, Brenda and Donna get ready for a night out. Donna makes it clear that she won’t be picking up any guys. Brenda misses Dylan, too, but she’s not obsessing over him like Donna is over David. They go out with some fellow students to what’s probably supposed to be a party but looks more like a gallery opening. Donna’s happy to finally get some good food. A guy hits on Brenda, who tells him she sleeps with Donna. Then she thinks she sees Dylan.

The real Dylan is on his way to prison for the parole hearing. Jack is happy with Dylan’s letter, but Dylan tells him it’s not completely factual. Jack accuses him of having a selective memory. Then they quote Green Eggs and Ham to each other, which apparently proves that Jack taught Dylan to read. Back in Paris, Donna’s now happy and Brenda’s now blue. She wishes Dylan were there to see the romantic city with her. She also wants to be a whole person with lots of different interests. Donna confides that she’s glad Brenda came instead of Kelly.

Cameron’s mom thanks Andrea for helping him have such a great summer. She’s sad that Andrea won’t be there for the rest of it. Dylan meets up with Kelly, who tells him she’s sorry that Jack didn’t get paroled. They chat about Brenda and how far away she seems (and is). Dylan decided not to bring her down with news of his father. He and Kelly admit that they’re not as miserable as they expected to be with Brenda gone.

Brandon watches Andrea say goodbye to Cameron, or what he thinks is goodbye. She’s actually decided to stay in Beverly Hills. Cameron needs her more than Jay and the Republican party do. Later, Jay tells Andrea that this is probably their last chance to be together, since he’ll be heading to school right after he comes back from Houston. They agree to try a long-distance relationship. Jay’s happy that Andrea’s staying for Cameron, not Brandon, and makes sure that’s really the case. Then everyone plays tug-of-war. Yes, really.

Thoughts: Jay’s surprised that Andrea’s a liberal? Has he…has he met her?

Someone did research for this episode, because the 1992 RNC was indeed held in Houston.

Brandon getting the kids to throw water balloons at Andrea was actually pretty cute. Darn you, Brandon, for making me like you for ten seconds!

Also cute: Gabrielle Carteris in this episode. It’s the combination of no glasses and her hairstyle. It’s much better for her.

Hi, Ian Ziering’s pecs. How are you?

Yum (and the cupcake looks good, too)

Summary: Joey wakes Pacey with a cupcake with a candle in it: It’s his birthday. He’s not happy about it. Every birthday he’s had since the age of ten has been awful. When he was 12, he threw up on his crush, who nicknamed him Pacey Pukey, a name his family sometimes brings up. When he was 16, he failed his driver’s test and no one came to his party. At 14, he was mauled by a dog. Pacey thinks the only way he can have a good birthday is if he celebrates it with Joey and no one else.

Dawson’s preparing for his first date with Gretchen, and Jack thinks he’s worried because Pacey and Joey don’t know about it. Dawson says if they ask, he’ll tell them. Gretchen and Joey talk about Pacey’s birthday as he gets a letter that surprises him. After he leaves the room, Joey begs Gretchen to come to Pacey’s last-minute surprise birthday party, which Mrs. Witter wants to throw. Gretchen thinks she’s crazy. And no, she totally doesn’t have any plans, especially not with Dawson.

Jen and Grams decoupage picture frames (yes, really) before Jen spends the evening driving home drunk teenagers as part of her community service. Jen senses that Grams is distracted and guesses that she’s thinking about sex with Mr. Brooks. Grams denies that they’re even in love. Jen urges her to have the safe-sex talk with Mr. Brooks. Grams accuses her of trying to get herself grounded so she doesn’t have to do her community service.

Dawson visits Gretchen at the restaurant and learns about Pacey’s party. She asks to postpone their first date, though he’d rather just treat the party as their first date. He doesn’t want to hide their relationship. He adds that sneaking around is a good way to get caught. Gretchen tries to convince him that she just wants to be sensitive to Pacey and Joey. She’s not ready to go public, but Dawson thinks she’s trying to hide, which means maybe they shouldn’t be together at all.

At community service, Jen gets paired up with Tobey. She invites him to drop in on Pacey’s party with her if they wind up in the neighborhood. Oh, and Jack will be there. Tobey’s not excited to see him again; he notes that they don’t have to be friends just because they’re both gay. In fact, he’s not even convinced Jack is really gay. Jen swears she’s just being nice, and Tobey tells her he’s taken anyway.

Joey blindfolds Pacey and takes him to his parents’ house, where the surprise part of the party hasn’t been set up yet. Doug’s gleeful at the possibility of the disasters that might happen this year. Sheriff Witter treats everyone to the story of his own 18^th birthday: He spent it fighting in Vietnam, topping it off with a prostitute. Pacey wishes he were dead. Sheriff Witter doesn’t remember meeting Jack, despite spending an entire weekend with him.

Pacey confronts Joey for breaking her promise that they would spend his birthday alone. She tells him his family wanted to throw him a party. He replies that his father just wants an excuse to yell at him. Joey urges him to make an effort, but Pacey knows he’ll fail no matter what. She promises that they’ll get through the evening together. Meanwhile, Gretchen and Dawson smooth things over, and Jen and Tobey chat about his boyfriend, though she’s still trying to talk up Jack.

Joey finds Pacey alone outside and points out that there haven’t been any disasters (yet). He starts to tell her why he’s upset, then stops himself. They head off to talk somewhere else, but Sheriff Witter wants to talk to Joey. He thanks her for getting Pacey to think about college…because now he’ll have to pay for another dropout’s education. Pacey defends Gretchen’s decision to leave school, but Sheriff Witter won’t listen. He thinks Pacey will either drop out or flunk out. Mrs. Witter disagrees.

Sheriff Witter continues that Pacey’s always been a screw-up. When he was a kid, he wanted to be a vet, but his mother suggested he be a dog groomer instead. Joey realizes that everything Pacey’s said about his family is true. In the basement, Gretchen tells the kids (and Dawson) a story her grandmother used to tell her about a princess who had to dance among the stars. She was free but alone. Dawson doesn’t see the sadness in the story, considering how many stars the princess got to visit. Gretchen notes that the princess can never stay in one place for long.

Joey tries to give Pacey a pep talk about his future, saying he’s going to surprise his family with his success. He thinks his family’s right about him being too dumb to do anything worthwhile. He takes her to the basement to talk, but Dawson and Gretchen are making out down there. Everyone goes upstairs for dinner, which Mrs. Witter thinks is Pacey’s favorite meal but which is actually Doug’s. Also, she keeps calling Joey “Joanna.”

In the kitchen, Dawson tries to talk to Joey about the kiss she just walked in on. She confirms that they basically have a relationship, then goes back to the table. Gretchen wonders what she and Dawson do next. He tells her that Joey thinks they’re a couple and he didn’t exactly correct her. He tells Gretchen that her hesitance isn’t about Pacey or Joey; it’s about her, and she needs to figure out what she wants.

First, though, Gretchen wants to talk to Pacey about it. He’d rather pretend that nothing happened. He’s too distracted by the conversation he keeps trying to have with Joey which he knows could change their relationship. Jen and Tobey pick up various drunk teens and college students as Pacey opens his lame presents. (His father got him fireworks.) Mrs. Witter suggests reminiscing about Pacey’s childhood, which goes over as well as you would expect. Gretchen tries to make it better by sharing a happy memory of Pacey taking care of her.

Pacey calls an end to the stories once they turn back to his screw-ups. (He tried to make pancakes and their dog died of smoke inhalation.) He complains that no one ever treats him like anything other than a loser. He adds that he’s not going to college because his fallback school, the only one he thought would consider taking him, rejected him. Just then, Jen and Tobey arrive, singing “Happy Birthday” as Pacey runs off.

Joey and Dawson go off in search of the birthday boy while Jack tries to make small talk with Tobey (it doesn’t go well). Joey tells Dawson that she doesn’t care what he and Gretchen are doing anymore. He admits that he doesn’t even know what they’re doing. Joey can relate since she’s also dating a Witter. Witters keep their emotions inside, but it’s actually because they care so much. Dawson assures Joey that Pacey not getting into college isn’t her fault. She knows, but she feels bad because she told him he would get in, and she knows he thinks he’s disappointed her.

Sheriff Witter tracks Pacey down by the water, admitting he’s there because someone called the cops to report a “creepy guy” hanging out there. Sheriff Witter confides that he was rejected from the police academy the first time he applied. Pacey knows he’s not cut out for college, but he wanted to be.

Sheriff Witter says he was never hard on Pacey because he thought he wasn’t good enough for school, he just didn’t think it was the right path for him. He does, however, think Pacey is meant to do great things. Sheriff Witter notes that he didn’t get to tell his story about Pacey’s childhood. On Pacey’s tenth birthday, his father got him fireworks, which he loved. His happiness made Sheriff Witter happy.

On the way home, Jen asks Tobey why he was mean to Jack and why he made up a boyfriend (because the guy is obviously fictional). He wants Tobey to try being friends with Jack if he’s interested in him. Pacey and his father return home, where the Witters and Pacey’s friends finally do the surprise part of the party right.

Later that night, Gretchen tells Dawson he was right about her reasons for wanting to keep their relationship quiet. She’s afraid that she won’t be in Capeside long enough to really develop anything, and she’ll hurt him when she leaves. Dawson reminds her that he’ll be leaving at the end of the year, too. They might as well make the most of the present and try not to be afraid. Gretchen isn’t sure if Dawson is wise or naïve, but she admires his fearlessness.

Joey and Pacey finally find some time alone and she apologizes for the horrible party. She tells him that one rejection isn’t the end of the world. He says that just makes it real because he already knew the two of them were on different paths, drifting farther and farther from each other. Joey thinks all roads lead back where they are now. They just need to try harder to get there. As they kiss, Pacey’s family and friends set off fireworks in the yard.

Thoughts: Pacey’s mom is Jane Lynch, you guys! Jane Lynch!

Sorry, but Joey should know better than to agree to a Witter family party. This whole episode could have been avoided if the writers hadn’t had her do something so out of character.

Joey and Pacey grew up together, right? And everyone in town knows the Potters? So why doesn’t Mrs. Witter know Joey’s name? Oh, right, it’s a way to show that her character is disconnected. How original and clever!

Tobey’s still a jerk. Shut up, Tobey.

Stacey's sweater is cute, but those shoes...ick

Summary: Stacey wants to take Robert to a Broadway play for his birthday, which means she needs to babysit as much as possible so she can buy tickets. A job comes up for a family named the Cheplins; they need a sitter every afternoon right after school until 5:30. Even though it leaves her little time for homework, her friends, her mom, Robert, and other sitting jobs, Stacey takes it.

Mrs. Cheplin is hesitant at first since Stacey’s only 13. But Stacey wins her over with the fact that she has diabetes, which Dana Cheplin has just been diagnosed with. Mrs. Cheplin gives Stacey a bunch of household work to do along with watching the kids and helping them with their homework. Though she claims she still isn’t comfortable with the arrangement, only extending the deal two weeks at a time, Mrs. Cheplin keeps giving Stacey more and more responsibilities and paying her more for them.

Stacey’s happy with the money, but soon realizes how much time and energy the job is taking. She has to miss out on plans she’s made with Robert, her friends, and her mom so she can complete homework and do other things she isn’t able to do during the week. Dana has a diabetes-related emergency one day, and though Stacey handles it very responsibly and maturely, Mrs. Cheplin is still clearly not impressed with her.

On Valentine’s Day, things really start to come apart. Stacey forgot to buy Robert anything and finally tells him why she’s been working so hard. Then, after she has a particularly hectic day at the Cheplins’ but still only gets a two-week extension of the job, Stacey tells the BSC girls about all the chaos. They note that the money she’s been making isn’t as important as everything else in her life. Stacey realizes that she’s turning into her workaholic father and tells Mrs. Cheplin she can’t keep working for her every day. Robert may not get to go to Broadway, but Stacey’s still happy.

In the B-plot, Logan wants to buy Mary Anne a ring for Valentine’s Day. He asks Stacey for help picking it out, but she’s busy (of course), so she suggests that he ask Kristy instead. Charlotte and Becca spot Logan and Kristy ring-shopping together, and when they see him put the ring on her finger, they think Logan’s a two-timer and Kristy’s a home-wrecker. They spread the news to a bunch of other kids, and suddenly Kristy starts getting hate mail from eight-year-olds. She has no idea why kids are mad at her; her only idea is that some of the Bashers are mad at the Krushers.

When the news comes out and Logan tells the kids what was really going on, his sister Kerry admits that she canceled his and Mary Anne’s Valentine’s Day reservations (thinking he was going to take Kristy out instead). To make things up to them, the kids make them dinner, which is actually really sweet.

Thoughts: Kristy actually wants Stacey to turn down the job at the Cheplins’ because she won’t be free for other jobs. So she wants Stacey to say she can’t sit so she can…sit. Kristy, you’re a horrible businesswoman. I get her not wanting Stacey to sit every day, but can’t the girls split up the job? Turning it down completely would be a huge loss.

…Although Mrs. Cheplin is a huge bitca. I would never be able to handle working for her. She leaves Stacey two- and three-page-long lists of chores, such as doing laundry and starting dinner, which she’s expected to do in just over two hours, while helping the kids with their homework. She questions Stacey every time she can’t complete some task, like she’s testing Stacey to make sure she can handle everything. But they’re the sorts of things that a stay-at-home mom or housewife would complete over the course of a whole day, not in just a couple of hours. Then when Stacey finally tells her she has to quit, Mrs. Cheplin says it’s because she’s not mature enough for the job. Girl, please! She was more mature than any 13-year-old should be expected to be!

Mary Anne and Logan bring their own pencils to the bowling alley to keep score. Cough nerds cough.

I can't believe Steve didn't try to hook up with both twins. He's totally That Guy

Summary: David is outside a hospital nursery, making a video about his new sister, Erin, born two days ago. Kelly is clearly still not thrilled to be a big sister and is calling the baby “it.” At the Walshes’, Jim is ranting about Brenda’s out-of-control behavior. Cindy corrects that she’s in perfect control and has been since Jim started his war against Dylan. His complaints aren’t going to fix anything. Cindy suggests holding out a little longer to see what happens. (Nice parenting, there, Cindy.)

Brenda cleans Dylan’s place and generally acts like a housewife while Dylan tries to continue to bach it up. At the beach club, Steve flirts with a girl named Rory while Donna and Kelly discuss their upcoming six-week trip to Paris. Donna’s nervous about the trip since she doesn’t speak French. Kelly spots Cindy but only talks to her after she confirms that Brenda and her parents are still on the outs.

Brandon also meets Rory and flirts with her. He and Steve celebrate their successes at picking up girls, soon realizing they picked up the same girl. Steve decides not to compete with Brandon since he’s sure Brandon will win. But when Rory walks by, she tells Steve she’ll see him in a couple of hours. Another look around helps the guys realize that there’s not one but two Rorys: They’re identical twins. The guys suggest double-dating.

Brandon runs into Cindy, who’s at the club without Jim; he’s too busy moping to come to the beach. She asks Brandon to go check on Brenda for them. Kelly holds the baby for the first time and finally drops her attitude. Brenda and Dylan fight like a married couple and are interrupted by Brandon; they try to pretend everything’s fine. Later, Brandon reports to his parents that he knows Brenda isn’t completely happy. Also, Dylan’s sleeping on the couch. Brandon advises his parents to extend an olive branch.

Jackie goes to check on the baby in the middle of the night and finds Kelly taking care of her. She’s become very philosophical about babies and sisterhood and family. She doesn’t want to miss out on enjoying time with her family, now that she finally has one, so she wants to skip the trip to Paris. The next day, Kelly and Donna tell Brenda that Kelly’s not going to Europe but Donna’s mom is making her go by herself. Donna asks Brenda to come instead, but Brenda declines.

Dylan complains to Brandon about how crazy Brenda’s making him. Brandon reminds him that he can send her home, but Dylan wants to stand by his principles. Brenda visits Cindy at home and pretends that everything is going great. She clearly misses home but won’t move back in until Jim shows her some respect. Cindy reminds her that she has to earn respect. Brenda mentions that Kelly isn’t going to Paris after all; she kind of wishes she could go instead.

At the beach club, Steve asks Brandon if they can spend the day as planned (Steve with Rory, Brandon with her sister Claire), then swap sisters the next day. Then if one is a “dud,” neither guy is stuck with her. Brandon thinks this is because Steve doesn’t like Rory. Steve just wasn’t thrilled to spend his date with her in the ER, since Rory thought she had food poisoning. They go get the girls but Rory still isn’t feeling well.

Cindy tells Jim that she thinks Brenda came over looking for a way to make peace. If he wants to make things right with her, he needs to listen to his wife. Dylan comes home to a moping Brenda, who tells him about her visit to see Cindy. She wonders if the Walshes would have been better off if they’d stayed in Minnesota. Rory still isn’t 100 percent, telling Steve that now she has sinusitis. Dylan gets a letter from his trustees summoning him to Jim’s office the next day: Jim’s considering freezing his accounts.

Steve still wants to swap dates, but Brandon doesn’t want to have to go out with Rory just because Steve has a twin thing. He knows the sisters will be insulted if Steve suggests a switch. He’s wrong, since the girls are already on board. Donna begs David to come to Paris with her, but he’s taking summer classes so he can graduate early. Brenda and Kelly talk on the phone, and Kelly’s clearly gone off the deep end with the baby love. Brenda thanks Dylan for going to see Jim and standing up for her. Dylan notes that he doesn’t really have a choice.

At their meeting, Jim tells Dylan that since he’s cohabitating with a minor, he’s committing statutory rape and jeopardizing his trust. Jim’s allowed to freeze his assets until Brenda moves out. Dylan says Jim and Brenda’s inability to communicate isn’t his fault; Jim agrees, but it’s still his problem. He can tell that things aren’t perfect at home, so he asks Dylan to help him and Cindy convince Brenda to go to Paris with Donna. Dylan calls it blackmail. Jim calls it “creative parenting.”

Brandon is still against the twin swap, telling Steve to go out with Claire while he breaks up with Rory. The twins arrive, dressed identically, and Brandon starts to give Rory the news, then realizes she’s not Rory. Claire’s going out with Steve to get revenge for the swap idea. Dylan tells Brenda they’re going to dinner at the Walshes’ whether she likes it or not. Steve tries to hook up with Claire, telling her that Rory’s boring and less hot than her twin. He makes out with her until she tells him she’s really Rory.

Dylan takes Brenda home for dinner, asking her not to say anything she’ll regret later. She decides not to talk at all. Jim presents her with a ticket to Paris with the idea of giving everyone some space. Brenda sees it as a way to get her away from Dylan, as well as a bribe. She’s upset and storms out. Dylan tries to convince her that she’s giving up a great opportunity just to stick it to her father.

Cindy admits to Brenda that the trip was her idea, and she didn’t mean for it to be a way to keep her and Dylan apart. She wanted to spend her junior year at the Sorbonne but stayed in Minnesota to be with Jim. Now it’s 20 years later and she’s never been anywhere. Cindy knows the family will get through their problems whether Brenda goes to Paris or not.

Brenda wonders why things are always so complicated, but Dylan tells her getting on a plane is simple. If their relationship can’t survive six weeks apart, then Jim’s right and they don’t belong together. Brenda makes her decision, and Dylan tells Jim that he got what he wanted. Jim thinks the Paris trip will be good for everyone. Dylan agrees, saying that’s why he didn’t tell Brenda about the whole trust thing. He adds that Jim only needs to ask him for things in the future.

The next day, Brandon complains to Steve that after Brenda tantrums and running away, she gets to go to Paris. (Dude, good point. Talk about creative parenting) Steve admits that his strikeout with Rory was one of the most embarrassing moments in his life. Brandon invites Andrea to a goodbye party for Brenda, but she already has plans with Jay. Brandon is totally, not in any way, shape, or form jealous.

Jim advises Brenda to spend some of her time in Paris thinking about the kind of relationship she wants to have with her family. Brenda thanks him for giving her another chance. Everyone says goodbye to Brenda and Donna, the latter of whom is no longer sad but is now scared since she’s afraid of flying. As they leave, Kelly tells Dylan that she might not stay with Jake – in fact, she might get together with Dylan. The last thing Brenda sees as she heads to the airport is Kelly and Dylan together.

Thoughts: Rory and Claire are played by Leanna and Monica Creel, who aren’t actually twins, but two of a set of identical triplets. Leanna played Tori on the Kelly-and-Jessie-less episodes of Saved by the Bell.

Kelly: “The only way anybody can tell it’s a girl is beacuse they wrap in her a pink blanket.” David: “I got news for you, Kel: That’s not the only way they can tell it’s a girl.” HA! Score one for David.

Brandon, your gum-chomping habit is becoming worrisome.

Steve’s idea of foreplay: “Let’s do it. Let’s go for it.” Gee, Steve, I don’t know why Kelly ever broke up with you. You sure seem like a catch.

So we’re all clear that Dylan basically traded Brenda for money? Right? I mean, you can say he gave her up so he wouldn’t go to jail (though since she’s 17, she’s most likely above the age of consent), but really, it was so he wouldn’t get cut off, yes?

Yay, another relationship for everyone to get angsty over!

Summary: Dawson and Pacey are fishing together, hanging out for the first time in months. Dawson announces that he likes Gretchen and thinks she feels the same way about him. He wanted to tell Pacey the truth so things don’t blow up like they did with Pacey and Joey. Pacey protests that “sisters are off-limits – they’re like mothers, only pretty.” Dawson replies that he’s not going to act on his feelings. Pacey clarifies that his tao is to do nothing.

Later, Pacey accompanies Gretchen on a trip back to her college to pick up her car, which her ex-boyfriend Nick has been using. Pacey talks up Nick, and Gretchen guesses that he’s trying to push her toward him to keep her away from Dawson. Pacey pretends that he’s fine with whatever they want to do. Then he finds a mix CD Dawson made her.

Dawson asks Jack if it was weird when Pacey dated Andie. Jack was fine with it since he and Pacey weren’t really good friends at the time. Mitch overhears and notes that Dawson might soon know what it’s like to be overprotective of a sister. Dawson finds an old love letter he wrote to Gretchen as a kid but never sent. Jack encourages him to act more like a child. Dawson’s sure that Gretchen knows his feelings; if they’re meant to be together, they will be.

The yacht club is closing for renovations, so Drue is looking for a girl to hang out with to fill up his free time. First, though, he’s going to get in as much Joey-taunting as possible. Mrs. Valentine tells him he’s being sent to visit his father, which he’s not excited about. Pacey and Gretchen arrive at her former college and realize that her car isn’t currently drivable. Also, Nick is seeing another girl. Gretchen and Pacey will have to spend the night, and only one of them is happy about it.

Back in Capeside, Dawson sees Mr. Brooks leaving Grams’ house and arranging a date that night. Grams objects to the word “date,” though, despite the fact that they’ll be doing date-like things. She wonders if Dawson is as concerned about Jen’s activities as he is about hers. At the yacht club, Drue and Joey take some dishes to a storage room, which they accidentally get locked in thanks to a busted doorknob.

Pacey and Nick sit in a hot tub together, discussing school. Pacey tells Nick that Gretchen’s single and encourages him to make a move. Jack helps Dawson get the baby’s room ready, but Dawson’s distracted by the idea of Grams getting involved with Mr. Brooks. Jack thinks it’s great, but Dawson tells him that Mr. Brooks is dying. Jack urges Dawson to tell Grams that. He asks if Dawson would have preferred not knowing about Joey and Pacey even though the truth was hard to hear.

Drue tells Joey that if necessary, she can eat his corpse. He thinks that if someone makes a TV movie about their captivity, Lacey Chabert will play her. Joey climbs a ladder looking for food; she falls off and he catches her and kisses her. She slugs him, of course. Gretchen tries to convince Nick (and herself) that her life is great and she doesn’t miss college. He turns on the charm but she sees right through it.

Pacey talks Gretchen up to Nick again, wondering why they ever broke up. Nick says their lives just went in different directions. He spots a girl checking Pacey out and tries to send him upstairs with her. Dawson visits Grams and sees that she’s gotten dressed up for her dinner with Mr. Brooks. She’s in such a good mood that he decides not to tell her Mr. Brooks is sick. Grams reveals that she already knows anyway, and she’s happy just to have someone to spend time with.

Pacey has now changed his tune on Nick, and has also decided that he’s the reason Gretchen left school. Gretchen tells him about her pregnancy and miscarriage. Pacey apologizes for trying to get her and Nick back together. Gretchen admits that she never told Nick about her pregnancy – in fact, Dawson is the only person she’s told. Pacey’s angry that she told Dawson before her own brother.

Dawson edits his movie at Mr. Brooks’ house, growing uncomfortable when Mr. Brooks asks him for relationship advice. Mr. Brooks guesses that he’s worried about Grams falling for a man who’s going to die after losing her own husband. Dawson doesn’t like what Grams will eventually have to go through, but Mr. Brooks notes that everyone dies eventually. You can’t fight fate, so you just have to ride it out.

Nick and Gretchen flirt a little (he’s a bit drunk), though she tries to make it clear that they won’t be getting back together. He thinks she’s there for more than just her car. He invites her upstairs and Pacey watches them go. Joey and Drue bicker about her hitting him, and he tells her everyone thinks she’s mean. He complains about his father and Joey starts to feel a little sorry for him. Drue wonders how Pacey and Joey make it work when they’re so different. She likes the surprises Pacey brings.

Nick’s room is all ready for lovin’, since he was that sure Gretchen would want to fall back into bed with him. He kisses her, saying they’re perfect for each other, but she tells him she’s not the girl she was when they were together. Then Nick passes out, so it doesn’t matter.

The next morning, Gretchen finds Pacey finishing up the car. He doesn’t get why she fell for a jerk like Nick; he blames himself since he encouraged them to get back together. Gretchen deserves someone much better, and she thinks Pacey means Dawson. She assures Pacey that nothing happened last night because she remembered that she came back to say goodbye to Nick. She got the strength to do so from how well Pacey always treated her.

Dawson asks Jack if he believes in inevitability. Jack has considered all the possible things that could have prevented his shoulder injury, which took him off the football team. Dawson mentions Grams and Mr. Brooks wanting to be together despite his illness, and Jack says they’re probably looking for comfort. He tells Dawson that fear isn’t the only thing that drives people. Maybe he’s supposed to be where he is right now, with someone he loved before Joey.

Joey and Drue wake up in the storage room and bicker some more before Joey hears a buzzing. It’s Drue’s cell phone, which he claims he forgot he had with him. Joey tells the caller to come get them, then accuses Drue of orchestrating their captivity. Also, he looked down her shirt when she was asleep. Mrs. Valentine gets the kids out of the storage room, and when Joey says Drue was responsible for what happened, Mrs. Valentine asks if she really thinks he preferred being there to being with his father.

Gretchen returns to Capeside before Pacey and finds Dawson’s old love letter on the porch. In it he tells her not to be nervous about starting high school. He also tells her how much he likes her. As Gretchen reads, Mr. Brooks and Grams hang out together, Mitch and Gail get an ultrasound, and Joey and Pacey meet up. Gretchen goes to the Leerys’ with the letter and Dawson asks, “What took you so long?” She responds that she had some things to do first, then kisses him.

Thoughts: Nick is played by Christian Kane (Eliot on Leverage, Lindsey on Angel). His hair is awful, as always.

So Gretchen, not Joey, is suddenly Dawson’s “one who got away”? Yeah, I believe it.

Doug is the seemingly gay Witter brother, yet Pacey’s the one talking about how handsome Nick is and sitting in the hot tub with him. Just saying.

Hey, Dawson, way to make the leap from “Mr. Brooks takes medication and has a visiting nurse” to “Mr. Brooks isn’t long for this world.” I mean, it turned out to be true, but still.

Another Michelle Williams-less episode. Not that season 4 Jen was very interesting.

Heh, the picture of Jessica and Heather makes me laugh a little

Summary: Jessica is over Jeremy and ready to move on with Ken Matthews. Then we get a total retcon: While Todd was in Vermont, Elizabeth and Ken secretly dated. They never told anyone because Ken was Todd’s best friend, and I guess because Elizabeth is supposed to be so perfect and pure that she would never be with anyone other than Todd (Jeffrey who?). So despite not mentioning the relationship in the previous 60+ books since Todd returned (except in Elizabeth’s Secret Diary, Volume 1, which I have no desire to deal with), Elizabeth is suddenly not sure she’s really over Ken.

Jessica is completely oblivious to this, and distracted by something else anyway: There’s a new girl at school named Heather Mallone, and everyone loves her, except Jessica. Heather is gorgeous, friendly, and good at everything. Oh, and she’s a total bitca. Heather is a fantastic cheerleader, and everyone on the squad wants her to join, but Jessica doesn’t like her. She basically hazes Heather, but everything backfires and Heather passes all her little tests. Then Robin Wilson moves away, leaving Jessica the only captain, and everyone elects Heather as her cocaptain.

Jessica and Heather continue their subtle rivalry, which grows more and more as Heather tries to take over the cheerleading squad. She’s convinced the girls that she can take them to nationals. One day when Jessica’s out sick, Heather kicks Maria and Sandy off the squad, which makes Jessica even madder. However, Heather’s basically a drill sergeant, and Jessica realizes that she just needs to wait things out until everyone else decides they don’t want to work with her. Unfortunately, Heather is also a bit of a cult leader and has everyone willing to do whatever she wants them to do. The last straw comes when Heather has the girls perform a cheer Jessica doesn’t know at a football game. Just like the title says, Jessica quits the squad.

Elizabeth spends the whole book also being a bitca, trying to convince Jessica that she and Ken are all wrong for each other because she can’t stand seeing her sister with the guy she thinks she might still be in love with. Ken appears to be completely over Liz, though, and really interested in Jessica. Jessica finds a photo of Elizabeth and Ken together, then reads Liz’s diary and learns about their secret relationship. So now she’s ticked, which probably means that in the next book, the fur is going to fly.

Thoughts: Robin moves because her father got transferred to Colorado, but we know from previous books that Robin’s parents are divorced and she lives with her mother, so her dad moving wouldn’t affect her. Nice try, ghostwriter.

In most books, Heather would be likable and Jessica’s attitude toward her would be unreasonable. But Heather’s really annoying and I hate her, so I’m on Jessica’s side.

Ken barely seems to remember being with Elizabeth. It would be awesome if it turns out she imagined the whole thing.

I’d love to see the girls try to make it to nationals with only six people on the squad.

I bet Steve only waits on hot girls

Summary: School’s out, but Steve has failed every class and has to repeat his junior year. Just kidding! It’s a dream. At the Peach Pit, Brandon reassures him that it wasn’t real and they’re going to be seniors after they enjoy their two months off. They plan to spend the summer hanging out at the beach, “picking up chicks.”

Kelly and Donna pick Brenda up from the Walshes’ to go shopping. Brenda’s pouty because of the whole Dylan situation. The pouting has earned Brenda the loan of Jim’s credit card, but she won’t need it, since she’s not going to the mall – she’s meeting Dylan. Kelly’s also sneaking around with Jake, and she and Donna note that Brenda will need someone else to cover for her while they’re in Paris. However, Donna’s considering staying in California to help fix her parents’ marriage.

Brandon is ditching Nat for the summer but is down because he hasn’t made much money to use over the next couple of months. Steve laughs it off, since it’s the amount he spends on pizza. Brandon teases him for being snobby. Steve says he could work a minimum-wage job if he had to, so Brandon bets the amount of the paycheck that Steve can’t get and keep a job for a week. Steve turns around and asks Nat for Brandon’s job.

Dylan and Brenda hang out on the beach, and he tells her he’s going to see Jim the next day to get him removed as trustee of Dylan’s money. Brenda wishes they were going to Europe with Kelly and Donna. Dylan tells her about spending time in Europe as a kid. Brandon returns to the Beverly Hills Beach Club and reunites with Henry (yay!), who lost the sporting-goods store he opened with his brother-in-law. “All of us have been hurt,” he tells Brandon.

Brandon spots Brenda and Dylan together and confronts Brenda for her lies. He knows her relationship is none of his business (that’s funny, Walsh), but he won’t be her accomplice. Dylan notes that they’re only sneaking around because Jim and Cindy don’t like him. Brendon tells him that they’re scared because Dylan’s taking their daughter away. There’s nothing he can do to help.

Dylan takes Brenda back to their meeting spot so Donna and Kelly can pick her up. He tells her he’s tired of having to sneak around. She reminds him that there’s no alternative. Back at home, Brandon baits his sister and Jim tells her to stop moping already. At the Peach Pit, Donna tells David she can’t go to Europe because her passport photo is horrible. Steve has to wait on them, which cracks David up. He orders them not to tell Nat he’s working there on a bet.

Jim and Dylan meet, and Jim tries to make small talk about college and Dylan’s grades. Dylan announces that Jim may think he can control Brenda, but he can’t control Dylan. He wants a new trustee. Jim’s happy to give up the responsibility, but Dylan’s mother gets to make the call. Dylan doesn’t get to call the shots until he turns 21. He accepts this, as long as Jim stops asking him how school’s going.

At home, Jim complains to Cindy about Dylan’s behavior; he wishes they’d charged him with kidnapping after the Mexico trip. Cindy wonders if it’s time to back down. Jim reminds her that they both feel like Dylan’s no good for Brenda. At the beach club, Brandon learns that Andrea will be working as the head of the children’s camp. Henry tells him that she gave Brandon as a reference. Brandon doesn’t want to spend the summer feeling guilty for talking to other girls.

Jim and Cindy have a surprise field trip for Brenda, but she’s already made plans with “Kelly.” He thinks she’s just being stubborn because she thinks if she can keep it up long enough, her parents will give in. Henry gives Brandon a bottle of champagne to deliver to a couple who just joined the club – Jim and Cindy.

Brandon spots Dylan’s car in the parking lot and learns that Kelly invited him and Brenda to join her for the day. He warns her that his parents are also at the club. They go looking for the secret lovebirds, but Cindy sees them first. She tries to keep Jim from seeing them as well, but it doesn’t work. Brandon finds and warns Brenda and Dylan; Brenda doesn’t want a confrontation, but Dylan’s tired of playing games.

Brenda decides to face her parents on her own, pretending everything’s normal. They yell at her for lying and sneaking around. Jim also doesn’t want to let Brenda say anything. She agrees that she shouldn’t have lied or kept her relationship a secret, so from now on, she’s going to see Dylan whenever she wants. Jim warns her that if she walks away, “things will never be the same.” She walks off anyway.

The gang meets up at the Peach Pit, discussing Brenda and her parents. Andrea wonders if she wanted to get caught. Brandon teases Steve about his job, so Steve teases him about having to work with Andrea at a club his parents now belong to. Speaking of Andrea, she asks Brandon to take her to the club in the mornings. Steve suggests that he also take her home.

Jay Thurman, the former editor of the school paper who graduated before Brandon moved to Beverly Hills, joins the gang, then takes Andrea to a movie. Kelly and Donna approve of their date. Steve notes that Brandon won’t have to worry about Andrea’s crush anymore. Brandon isn’t as pleased as he should be.

Cindy and Jim discover a bunch of Brenda’s things gone and realize that she’s run off to Dylan’s place. Indeed, she’s over there telling him that if her parents don’t like her life, they don’t have to watch her live it. She’s not quite sure what she’s doing, though. Back at the Peach Pit, Brandon is still teasing Steve, who thinks the job is working out great. However, Nat admits to Brandon that it’s not. He feels like Steve is trying to prove something. Brandon urges Nat to give him another chance.

Jim goes to Dylan’s and orders Dylan to tell Brenda to go home. Brenda says she won’t leave until Jim accepts Dylan as part of her life. No one will budge. Jim at least won’t go so far as to physically force Brenda out, so he has no choice but to leave without her.

At the Peach Pit, Steve hands over Brandon’s money, admitting that he got fired and he’s not cut out for being a waiter. He reminds Brandon that tomorrow, Brandon will be waiting on him at the beach club. At the Taylor/Silver home, David tells Kelly that he and Donna caught her parents going at it in the living room. Donna’s decided to go to Europe after all. Suddenly Jackie tells them her water broke. Mel’s out so Kelly takes charge.

At the Walshes’, Jim promises Cindy that they’ll work things out with Brenda. Brandon comes home to hear the news, wondering why his parents let Brenda stay at Dylan’s. He’s surprised at the way things have turned out. He adds that Cindy and Jim’s problems with Dylan probably don’t have that much to do with Dylan. Meanwhile, Brenda tells Dylan they can’t share a bed because she’ll imagine her parents watching them. She feels guilty for leaving and making them upset.

Thoughts: Jay is played by Peter Krause, AKA Casey from Sports Night, Nat from Six Feet Under, Nick from Dirty Sexy Money, and Adam from Parenthood.

Brandon, stop rolling up your sleeves and chomping gum.

I thought the Walshes had money problems. How can they afford club membership and a cabana?

Andrea actually looks kind of cute in her beach club uniform. I think it’s because she’s not wearing her glasses.

It’s 35 degrees here. This episode made me want to go to the beach so badly.

Brandon and Steve teasing each other made me laugh. I also think that’s how a lot of guy friends really act, so points for realism.

Jackie found out she was pregnant around Valentine’s Day, right? Let’s say she was two months along then. That means she got pregnant in December. Assuming this episode takes place in July, at the latest, that baby is two months early. Everyone should be a lot more worried than they are.

Yeah, I can't snark on this

Summary: Mary Anne is doing a group project on Shakespeare, and she and the other group members are really excited. They also get along really well, so they have fun working together. Mary Anne’s friends with one of the other girls, Amelia, and is happy to get to know her better. But the day after the group gets together to work, everyone learns that Amelia’s family was in a car accident and she didn’t survive.

SMS is hit hard by the tragedy, with Kristy taking it especially badly. Mary Anne’s surprised and a little scared that the tough girl is so broken; Kristy didn’t even know Amelia that well. She’s mostly mad that the driver who killed Amelia was drunk and this wasn’t his first driving offense. Kristy gets the idea to start a chapter of Students Against Drunk Driving at SMS, and suddenly she bounces back, now that she has a way to give Amelia’s death some meaning.

Mary Anne, on the other hand, sinks into depression and anxiety. It’s especially bad the day of Amelia’s funeral, when she worries about how to act. She goes to see a grief counselor who’s been brought to the school and learns that her feelings are normal and she should let herself grieve. The students at SMS keep coming up with ways to honor Amelia’s memory, but Mary Anne wants to do more. After learning of the garden Dawn is helping to plant in a vacant lot in California, Mary Anne comes up with the idea to create a memory garden for Amelia. She finally feels like she’s making sure no one will ever forget her.

Thoughts: This book always hit home for me. When I was in the fifth grade, two girls I knew (one a year older than me, the other a couple years younger) were killed in a car accident, along with their father. I’d spent an evening with them just a few weeks earlier and had felt like I was getting to be friends with them. The next year, another girl I’d spent some time with recently was killed in a bus crash. Even though I didn’t know any of the girls all that well, they were semi-friends. So I could always relate to how Mary Anne felt in this book.

Specifically, I could relate to Mary Anne in the scene where the SMS students hear that a 13-year-old girl has died but they don’t know who it is. Mary Anne realizes that she hasn’t seen Kristy in school that day and she starts worrying that she’s the one who died. My senior year of high school, one of my classmates died suddenly; I hadn’t known him well, but he was a really nice guy and everyone was shocked and saddened by his death. A good friend of mine was out sick that day, and when the seniors were called to the auditorium to hear the news and the principal announced that one of our classmates had died, I was sure it was her. The horror of those few moments before hearing the real news made me feel sick.

I’ve mentioned before that I feel like the series handles death well for the age group it’s targeted towards. The same applies here. And the events of the day when everyone finds out about Amelia’s death are realistic – and eerily similar to what happened when my high school classmate died. Classes were canceled, students were allowed to go home if they felt they needed to, grief counselors were brought in, and we spent most of the day talking and comforting each other.

Mary Anne and her group’s project actually sounds pretty cool. They’re supposed to do something about the world Shakespeare lived in, so they decide to publish a newspaper with theater reviews, world news, and even a classified section. They call their project William Tells All.

Speaking of school projects, Claudia gets to make a Rube Goldberg decive for a class. I want to go to SMS.