April 29, 2013
Summary: Kelly watches Jeopardy with the Walshes, and Jim shows off how smart he is. He thinks Brandon should try out for the upcoming college tournament. Brandon reveals that he’s already planning to but doesn’t think he’ll make the cut. He starts to call Andrea and find out if she’s trying out, too, but Kelly tells him it’s not a good time. Word has spread to Kelly about Andrea’s affair with Peter (but apparently not the word that Jesse also had an affair).
Speaking of the Cheatersons, they’ve gone to a therapy session, but Jesse isn’t very invested in trying to work things out. He tells Andrea she’s not the person he fell in love with. She notes that she got pregnant and had to turn herself into a wife and mother practically overnight. I’m not sure what that has to do with Peter, but okay.
Steve helps Brandon study for Jeopardy, telling him to make sure he hits the buzzer faster than the other contestants. Brandon notes that he’s not even a contestant yet. Clare and Donna show up, and Clare reveals that she’s also trying out. The guys don’t think she’ll be a threat, but Donna tells them that Clare plays every night on her computer…and answers the questions in French.
Kelly and David show up at Jackie’s place to find her, Mel, and Erin all happy and cuddly together. Kelly thinks it’s gross, but she’s glad Erin gets to have her parents back together. David’s surprised that Jackie forgave Mel. He’d like to get some of that forgiveness from Donna. Donna tries to get in touch with Ray, who’s still on the road but hasn’t called recently. Clare assures her that he’s not up to anything. But even if Ray and Donna break up, she still has the option of reconciling with David….
Clare’s father calls her while Brandon’s in his office and pretends that Clare is trash-talking him. Jesse goes to the Peach Pit to mope and ends up unloading his problems on Dylan. Andrea told him that Dylan saw her at the motel. He wants to move out, and when Dylan starts to offer some help, Jesse jumps on the idea of moving in. Dylan actually wants to loan him some money to get a hotel. Jesse guilts him into agreeing to let him stay at Casa McKay.
Brandon’s on Jeopardy, but Alex Trebek calls a stop to the contestant interviews when he learns that Brandon’s GPA is only 3.2. He wishes they’d chosen Clare instead. Then Brandon turns into a clown, because it’s a dream. In the real world the next day, Brandon and Clare go to take the written test with Steve and Donna there for moral support.
Dylan is annoyed at having a houseguest, and even more annoyed when Jesse asks for details of Andrea’s rendezvous with Peter. Jesse says he’s just thinking like a lawyer, trying to collect all the evidence. Clare tries to make nice with Brandon, pretending they’re not really competing with each other. (Mostly because she thinks she has it all sewn up.) The test starts and Clare accuses Brandon of cheating off of her on the first question. The second one stumps her, but he knows the answer.
Cindy and Valerie hang out at CU, talking about how Cindy and Jim want to stop by the After Dark sometime, since they just love to dance. Andrea needs a babysitter, and since Cindy isn’t available, Valerie offers to help. (Apparently she helped raise her little sister, and Cindy claims she’s good with kids.) Andrea is desperate enough to let her take Hannah.
Brandon and Clare leave the test arguing over her accusations about him cheating and his complaints that she’s pretentious for answering questions in French. He challenges her to a one-on-one competition. Valerie takes Hannah to Dylan’s, and Jesse freaks out, thinking Andrea left the baby with her so she could run off to have sex with Peter. When Dylan and Valerie tell him to chill, he complains because they’re Andrea’s friends, not his. He takes Hannah and goes to his parents’.
Steve emcees Brandon and Clare’s faceoff at the After Dark (even though Kelly’s the only person in the audience, so it’s not like they need all that space). Andrea shows up and tells Kelly that she applied to try out, too. Kelly points out that there are usually three contestants, and challenges Brandon and Clare to test their skills against Andrea. Andrea crushes it. Clare and Brandon are all embarrassed because Andrea’s a housewife, and I guess housewives are supposed to be dumb? Shut up, Brandon and Clare.
Valerie arrives and tells Andrea that Jesse has Hannah and might be thinking about filing for divorce. Andrea goes to meet him and promises that she wasn’t with Peter; that’s over. She admits that she went to see a lawyer because she knew Jesse would be working on a case to get custody. Jesse thinks he was reasonable for asking Valerie where Andrea was. She tells him she wants Hannah back the next day, then kicks him out.
Donna’s still waiting for a call from Ray and jumps every time the phone rings. Clare does the opposite, not wanting another pep talk from her father. She admits to Donna that she’s feeling a lot of pressure. She has a dream that she’s on Jeopardy and all the categories are about Brandon. She wins $52,000 and Brandon himself. Then Chancellor Arnold interrupts to take Brandon away for college business. He says Clare likes guys who speak French anyway, so Alex subs in a guy named Gaston.
Brandon visits Andrea to thank her for schooling him and Clare. He thinks she should represent CU on Jeopardy, but she points out that it’s not the best timing. She tells him that her affair was serious enough that she was willing to leave Jesse; Peter just didn’t feel the same way. Andrea married Jesse because she thought it was right, not just because she was pregnant, and now it’s a year later and they’ve both cheated. She’s worried that there’s something wrong with her.
Brandon tells her that she hasn’t seemed happy since they graduated high school. Andrea says that she keeps backing off of things like Yale and working on the Condor. She feels like a failure. He assures her that she’s a great daughter and a great mother, not to mention incredibly smart. They hug, and I can’t believe Jesse didn’t walk in and get jealous.
David goes to the beach apartment looking for Kelly but finds Clare instead. He asks about Donna, and Clare jumps on him, thinking he’s there to see Donna and only lied about Kelly. Ray finally calls, but it’s David who answers the phone. The poor guy has to stand there and listen while Donna and Ray make plans to meet up in Portland over spring break. Donna tells David that she feels bad about his breakup with Clare, especially since Clare has no reason to be jealous. Amazingly, David’s also going to Portland for spring break, since his mother lives there.
Brandon and Clare make Andrea take the Jeopardy test after both of them drop out of the process. Jesse asks Dylan again for information on Andrea’s affair, saying that he could get subpoenaed in the custody case anyway. Dylan isn’t sure Andrea wants a divorce at all. He encourages the two of them to work things out for Hannah’s sake.
Before taking her test, Andrea remembers watching Jeopardy with her grandmother, who told her to always remember that she can do anything she wants. Jesse meets her afterward and asks if he can come home. She agrees. Then we fast-forward a month, and the whole gang and Chancellor Arnold gather at the Peach Pit to watch Andrea on Jeopardy. The final question is a variation of the one asked in her memory, so she has this one in the bag.
Thoughts: Steve’s right about the importance of the buzzer. For more, read Bob Harris’ awesome book Prisoner of Trebekistan.
Good news, everyone: Erin is still adorable!
Chancellor Arnold to Brandon: “[Clare] says the only way you’ll win is if the category is funny haircuts.” HA!
Please shave, Dylan. No, more than that.
Johnny Gilbert in Brandon’s dream: “I’ll have the contestant coordinators taken out and shot, Alex.” HA again!
April 28, 2013
Summary: Charlie has returned home to tell Kirsten that Pamela took his money and Spencer and split. Kirsten thinks it’s for the best; Spencer won’t have Charlie in and out of his life, and Charlie could have gotten attached to him before Pamela left. Charlie doesn’t think he can just let it go. The school principal makes an announcement that there’s a new rule about PDAs and certain types of touching. That means Julia and Justin can’t suck each other’s faces anymore. Will tells Bailey that his father wants him to go to a certain college (Perry), but Bailey doesn’t like the idea. Will invites him to tag along for a tour.
Over at the middle school, Claudia feels uncomfortable in the locker room because she’s by far the smallest kid in her class, both vertically and in the chest region. Justin and Julia lament the no-kissing rule, though Julia is kind of fine following it if it means Griffin doesn’t see them together. Then she sees Griffin kissing his girlfriend and tries to make him jealous, landing herself and Justin in detention. Bailey and Will fly out to Perry, though Bailey doesn’t see the point in visiting a college he’s not going to attend. Coach is overbooked, and the two are randomly chosen to sit in first class.
Claudia fakes sick but Charlie doesn’t buy her act. She’s upset that Bailey got to skip school, though Charlie notes that he didn’t give Bailey permission to go off with Will. Charlie’s day gets harder when he learns about Julia’s detention. Later, he laments to Kirsten that he never disciplined his brothers and sisters when he was still just their brother because he wanted to let their parents handle that. Now he knows he has a child out there who might actually listen to his discipline, but he’s not around. Charlie wants to find him.
Bailey and Will’s tour guide, Keri, is pretty, so now Bailey’s not so bored by the whole thing. He pretends he’s already in college and is thinking of transferring to Perry. Charlie goes to all the art schools in San Francisco to find out if Pamela has modeled there, and just when he’s at the end of his rope, he gets a lead. Claudia calls a catalog company to buy a very, very small bra. At the coffeehouse, Justin and Julia arrange a kiss-off because they fancy themselves masters of civil disobedience. Julia gets uncomfortable when Justin approaches Griffin about participating. But she does learn that he and his girlfriend are over.
Keri takes Will and Bailey to a party, and she and Bailey get closer. He tells her he’s never been in love, then kisses her. Charlie crashes an art class to confront Pamela for keeping Spencer from him. He insists that he’s not the same person she knew four years ago. Pamela confesses that Spencer isn’t his son. Charlie’s the only person in the world who’s surprised. She thought that if she told him he was Spencer’s father, he would just give her money and send her away. Pamela’s mother is threatening to take Spencer away because she doesn’t think Pamela’s taking good care of him. She tells Charlie that Spencer isn’t his problem after all.
Back at home, Charlie tells Kirsten that he felt a connection with Spencer despite not being related to him. Kirsten reminds him that they were supposed to go get their marriage license today, but maybe they should wait since he’s distracted. Claudia takes forever in the bathroom, then emerges wearing an obviously stuffed bra. (Honey, you can’t wear that under a white shirt,) Keri’s late taking Will to his campus interview because she and Bailey had breakfast and spent the morning together. Will doesn’t catch the fact that Bailey didn’t tell Keri that his parents are dead.
At school, Julia expresses her condolences to Griffin on the end of his relationship. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. While Kirsten and Charlie get their marriage license, Sarah shows up for the Big Kiss-Off, but since Bailey’s not there, she doesn’t have anyone to kiss. She serves as a lookout and alerts the kissers when the principal’s approaching. Julia gets cold feet and suggests that they try to save the rainforest instead. At home, she tells Claudia to take off the stuffed bra and enjoy being a kid. Claudia shares her anxiety over looking different from everyone else.
Will hangs out with Keri some more, trying to get something started with her. She resists but says she’s sympathetic for his losses. He’s not interested in her pity, which is why he didn’t tell her about his parents or Jill. Kirsten’s up organizing in the middle of the night and tells Charlie that she likes to have everything in its place, while he’s fine with chaos. She’s not sure if she’ll still find that endearing in five years or 25 years. She reminds him that she can’t have kids, and though he’s said he’s fine with that, she’s now seen how much Spencer matters to him. Kirsten hates that Charlie’s heartbroken over something she can’t give him. She’s worried he’ll change his mind about wanting kids.
Bailey and Will fly home, but Bailey gives Will the silent treatment over telling Keri about his life. Will points out that he went along with Bailey’s lie about being in college. Bailey wanted a weekend where he was just a normal guy; he wanted the clean slate Will said college would be. Justin and Julia are sent to the principal’s office, but instead of being yelled at, she tells them she remembers what it was like being young and in love, so she’s revised the school rules. Claudia finally takes off the stuffed bra when a super-tall kid tries to befriend her because he likes what he sees.
Sarah’s happy to see Bailey back at school; she’s totally obvious about being in love with him, and when he touches her shoulder, she probably thinks, “I will never wash that again.” Bailey goes to his guidance counselor and asks what he needs to do to go to college on the other side of the country. He’s willing to do whatever’s necessary to get far away from his family. Claudia yells at Charlie for making Kirsten cry while they were looking at bridesmaids’ dresses. She’s worried that they’ll break up because Kirsten can’t have kids. (She heard their late-night conversation.) Charlie says it’s complicated, but Claudia disagrees.
Julia is sentenced to clap erasers (because this is 1970, I guess), and when Griffin comes across her, he kisses her. At home, Charlie tells Kirsten that he does want kids, but he wants to be with Kirsten more. Besides, they basically already have kids. He takes her to Owen’s room and says that they should adopt him. (The other siblings have already okayed this.) Kirsten asks if this will be enough for Charlie, and he says yes. The other Salingers watch from the doorway, because there’s no privacy in that freaking house.
Thoughts: Keri is played by Allison Smith. She’s been in a bunch of stuff, but is best known for Kate & Allie and The West Wing.
Charlie adopting Owen just seems weird. “This is my son, who’s really my brother.” And it would be confusing for Owen to have siblings who are also his father’s siblings. Why go through the adoption when Charlie’s already his guardian?
You know what would have saved a lot of problems? A paternity test. Call Maury, Charlie.
Pamela sucks at running away. She didn’t even leave the city!
Griffin’s shirts status: We’re up to three – one green, one blue, and one rust-colored.
April 27, 2013
Summary: Valerie has just gone on a shopping spree, but she probably should have held on to her money, because her account at the hotel has been cut off. At the beach apartment, Clare has thrown a little welcome-back lunch for Donna, who spent a few weeks at her parents’ house recovering from Garrett’s attempted rape. Felice is thankful that David was her hero and remarks that she almost wishes he were still living in the apartment. She also hopes that David and Donna will give things another try now that Ray’s gone. She doesn’t think David and Clare will last much longer.
Clare and David will be spending their weekend working on a class project – basically, it’s a documentary about real college students. (The title of this episode should give you a hint as to where they got this idea.) They run into one of the participants, who tells them his roommates don’t want to be a part of the project anymore, so they’re all dropping out. Clare’s mad because David was supposed to secure their participants and location. David calls her a control freak. She wishes she hadn’t signed on for a project where her grade depends on him.
Valerie meets with the hotel manager, who’s annoyed that she hasn’t paid her tab. Valerie’s annoyed that she’s being asked to pay her tab. She asks for a special rate, which he says she’s already getting. Then she tries to proposition him. He won’t budge. David gathers Kelly, Brandon, Donna, and Steve at the beach apartment so they can be four of the six “roommates” in the video. (Clare and David will be the other two.) David and Donna seem especially interested in the idea of spending 24 hours with each other.
Cindy calls Jim at work to let him know that Valerie has come crawling back to their house. Jim thinks they need to set some ground rules. Cindy’s just glad she’s back, and thinks that if they talk to her, she’ll be different this time. Clare does some late-night prep for the video, planning out the arguments the “roommates” will be having. David complains that she never uses any of his ideas. Clare casually wonders who arranged for David to play the character who has a crush on Donna’s character. He blows off the question, then says, “Good night, Donna.” Oops!
Brandon’s already in character when he gets up in the morning (he’s playing an annoying skater type). Jim’s distracted by trying to figure out why Valerie came back. He also smelled pot coming from her room. The other “roommates” start filming, but everyone is awful at acting. Then Steve takes a phone call and breaks character to announce that Celeste is getting married. Clare films him anyway, but when he realizes she’s capturing his real feelings, he goes back to his character.
Things are better over at Jesse and Andrea’s, so she decides to put her plan to tell him about Peter on hold. Over at the beach apartment, David (in a sweater vest and nerd glasses) watches Donna pretend to play the piano (which is actually a keyboard, and which would never sound like that). Then the real Tuck shows up, having gotten his roommates to change their minds about the project, and objects to Brandon’s portrayal of him. Brandon finds the whole thing hilarious. Meanwhile, Kelly eats a bunch of watermelon Steve spiked with vodka.
Dylan and Charlie work on their screenplay at the Peach Pit, and I’m happy to report that Dylan is no longer wearing suits. Valerie shows up (and <i>she’s</i> wearing a suit, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore) and invites them to a movie premiere. David and Donna film in her bedroom, and she gets a little shaken when she remembers what happened the last time they were in there together. David comforts her, and Clare sees him give her a quick kiss. The kiss almost turns into a lot more, but Donna puts on the brakes.
During a later scene, Clare gets jealous of David and Donna’s closeness, so she gets Steve to dance with her, then makes out with him. Kelly (drunk on watermelon) gets a call from Jackie reporting that she’s asked Mel to move back in. She rants at the guys for always letting women down. She brings up Brandon’s fling with Emily, David’s affair with Ariel, and Steve cheating on Celeste, adding that Ray probably had his own little thing on the side that Donna doesn’t know about. (Kelly’s psychic!)
Andrea and Jesse have a nice night in, happy that they’re finally having fun together. Dylan and Charlie go to the premiere, though Dylan doesn’t want to. Charlie just wants to check out Valerie and network. He runs into his former hypnotherapist (a consultant on the film), who inspired the screenplay he’s working on.
At the beach apartment David decides to put the project out of its misery. (Donna and Steve are now drunk on watermelon anyway.) Clare thinks David was just tired of seeing Donna flirt with someone else. She gets him to admit that he still loves her. He asks if she has feelings for anyone else; he thinks she’s still hung up on Brandon. Clare admits that this is true.
In her bedroom with Brandon, Kelly drunkenly brings up the night of the fire and asks straight-out if he slept with Emily. Brandon says they just kissed, assuring her that she can trust him. He starts to tell her he can see them spending the rest of their lives together, but she’s already passed out. Valerie gives Dylan a ride home from the premiere, and though he doesn’t want to invite her in at first, she changes his mind by promising that they’ll just keep things platonic. (She really means they’ll be friends with benefits.)
The non-drunk “roommates” discuss cheating and relationships that ended poorly. Brandon admits that when Emily came back to town, he realized he had feelings for both her and Kelly. David and Steve think Kelly also still loves Dylan, and he probably still loves her. Steve admits that if Kelly asked him to get back together, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Donna’s worried that her virginity will be the end of all of her relationships, like it was with her and David’s.
Kelly wakes up the next morning with a hangover and no memory past eating all the watermelon. (She does imply that she remembers the Emily conversation, though.) Jesse and Andrea are all smiles, but for some reason she thinks this is the right time to tell him about Peter. She’s been seeing a therapist who wants her to be honest. But before Andrea can come clean, Jesse tells her that he had a fling while he was out of town on an interview.
Donna and Steve discuss the previous night’s conversations, and he tries to make a move on her, which is really weird. David and Clare edit their film, and Clare says the real-life stuff is better than the character stuff. They start bickering, and they confront each other for their respective kisses with Donna and Steve. David’s mad that Clare keeps flirting with other guys right in front of him. Also, her expectations of people are too high, or something. They decide they’re done with each other.
Thoughts: A 20-page proposal for a 30-minute video? Claire is a control freak.
The suit epidemic has spread so far that David almost wears one to bed. This is like 28 Days Later, but fancier.
Donna’s fake British accent is hilarious.
Tuck is clearly based on Puck, and Steve’s character seems to be based on Jon from the L.A. season of The Real World, but I’m not sure who the others are supposed to be.
’90s music alert: “Dreams” by the Cranberries.
Drunk Kelly is kind of adorable.
Nooooo, Jesse, you weren’t supposed to be a jerk!
Now that she and David are over, can Clare please go away?
April 24, 2013
Summary: While Elizabeth and Devon have the world’s longest makeout session, Jessica quickly decides that the best way to get revenge is to pretend to hook up with Todd. Todd somehow has too much class for that, and instead goes to the beach to confirm that Jessica was telling him the truth. He wants Elizabeth back, even though she’ll probably just cheat on him again five minutes later.
Jessica still wants revenge, so she comes up with a so-crazy-it-just-might-work-plan: If she can get Todd interested in another girl, Elizabeth will get jealous and want him back. Then Jessica can swoop in and take Devon for herself. She thinks Courtney is perfect for the role of Todd’s new love interest, and of course Courtney’s game, because she still likes him.
In boring land, there’s a science fair coming up, and Elizabeth wants to enter with Devon. He resists because he doesn’t want everyone to know how super-smart he is, or something. Jessica also tries to appeal of Devon’s science knowledge by getting him to tutor her. It backfires. Jessica continues her revenge plan by stealing the ring Todd gave Elizabeth, then passing herself off as Liz so Todd thinks she’s wearing the ring and wants to get back together with him.
Jess sets up Todd and Courtney, then arranges for Elizabeth to catch them together at Guido’s. This also backfires – Elizabeth figures that if Todd’s already moved on, it’s okay for her to be with Devon. So you’d think this would all work itself out, right? Wrong.
Jessica wants to impress Devon by entering the science fair, so she teams up with Bruce, who’s mad at Devon for not wanting to hang out with the other rich kids. They decide to make a volcano, which is so dumb in so many ways. Jessica then takes things a step too far by sabotaging Liz and Devon’s project for no reason. Also, the volcano blows up, which is kind of a metaphor for Todd and Courtney’s relationship – it’s over practically before it begins.
Elizabeth asks Todd to meet her so she can give back the ring. He’s confused, since he thought he saw her wearing it. They figure out that Jess pulled a twin switch. Meanwhile, Jessica knows that if the two of them talk, they’ll bust her on everything, so she grabs Courtney to…I don’t know, flirt with Todd again? Devon shows up as well and gets mad because Liz is with Todd. Todd tries to solve the problem in the weirdest possible way: by proposing to Elizabeth. She doesn’t respond, and Todd and Devon start pounding on each other. Elizabeth decides they’re both jerks and leaves, possibly the smartest thing she’s ever done.
Thoughts: There is way too much science in this book.
Todd, upon hearing that Elizabeth kissed Devon: “There’s no way Elizabeth would do that to me.” Really, Todd? Have you forgotten the five other times she’s done it to you?
“A science fair! What a cool idea!” Shut up, Enid.
When Todd and Courtney first became friends, she tried to get some alone time with him by asking him for a tour of their fathers’ company after hours. They wound up accidentally crashing a black-tie event. Now Mr. Wilkins warns Todd of upcoming events by sending him an invitation and writing on it, “You are not invited.” Ha! Awesome.
Bruce, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to make a volcano for a science fair after the age of ten.
I REFUSE to believe that Lila and Amy build a robot. The ghostwriter must be high.
Speaking of which, Sandra and Jeanie’s project is using a prism to make a rainbow. Are you kidding me? That’s not an experiment! I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your souls!
April 23, 2013
Summary: Bailey has spent the summer working at the restaurant, but he’s been fired a few days before school starts so he can enjoy the break a little. Julia’s also been working there, and has befriended a fellow waitress, Sarah Reeves. It looks like Sarah has a little crush on Bailey. Charlie keeps playing random songs, trying to pick out wedding music. Will bugs Bailey about going to a traditional pre-school-year bonfire. Then everyone has a goofy dance party.
Kirsten’s at home alone (maybe with Owen; I don’t know) when Pamela, who used to date Charlie, drops by. She doesn’t leave a number where she can be reached, and just tells Kirsten to tell him she’ll be in touch. Kirsten and her patchwork plaid shirt are suspicious. Bailey drives Sarah home and completely fails to pick up on her signals. At home, Kirsten drills Charlie about Pamela, and he makes it clear that they didn’t have anything serious and haven’t talked since they dated.
Julia hangs out with Griffin, who’s now played by Jeremy London but is still wearing the same shirt. He invites her to tag along while he shops for a motorcycle the next day, but she declines. She notes that when school starts again, it’ll be harder for them to meet up. (Also because Justin will be around, but she doesn’t say that.) Bailey and Will go to a movie Will’s already seen a bunch of times; it’s a setup for them to hang out with Will’s cousin Sharon and her friend Holly. Bailey’s not happy about it.
Pamela goes to the restaurant and gives Charlie a photo of her son, Spencer. Oh, and his last name is Salinger-Rush. Charlie refuses to believe that Spencer’s his kid. When he gets home, Pamela’s there with Spencer, but hasn’t told Kirsten what’s going on. Charlie yells at Pamela for not telling him sooner, but she says he would have tried to make her have an abortion. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to count on him as a father. She swears that Charlie’s the only possible father.
Charlie notes that he’s getting married in nine weeks, so this is horrible timing. It’s not great for Pamela either – she was laid off and needs money for daycare. Charlie is the exact opposite of sympathetic. He tells her over and over to leave, even making her take the back way. Pamela warns that she’s not just going to disappear.
Claudia tries to guilt Julia into letting her go to the bonfire. It doesn’t work. Bailey blasts Will for the Holly surprise, insisting that his new workout schedule is filling the void left by not having a girlfriend. Justin shows up to reunite with Julia after his summer away, and Will uses their makeout session as an example of why Bailey should want to get back in the dating game. At the restaurant, a patron sees Charlie looking at a picture of Spencer and remarks that they have the same eyes.
Sarah goes shopping with Bailey so he can pick out a new shirt for his redo of the date with Holly. Sarah’s crush on him is now so obvious that he’s growing dumber every minute he doesn’t figure it out. Justin and Julia hang out at the coffeehouse, and she pretends she didn’t do anything interesting all summer. She sees some negatives of the pictures he took in England and realizes he spent a lot of time with a girl (Allison). Julia isn’t happy about that.
Bailey and Holly’s date goes well until he learns that she works in a coffeehouse, like Jill did. He hesitates to kiss her good night. Charlie and Kirsten work on wedding plans at the restaurant, but he’s distracted and decides it’s time to tell her about Spencer. She can’t even decide how to respond, so she walks out. Julia bugs Justin about Allison, but he assures her that he still wants to be with her. He notes that he doesn’t know what she did every second of the summer. He trusts that she didn’t do anything wrong, and expects her to trust him, too.
Kirsten bumps some wedding errands to take Claudia shopping, and Charlie wonders if anything else will be postponed. Claudia figures that they’re fighting because he screwed something up. Julia and Bailey share a nice moment, talking about their romantic mishaps and planning a double date. Then Julia goes to the coffeehouse to talk to Griffin, who’s there with a girl named Erica (who’s kind of awful).
Holly likes football, so she and Bailey already have more in common than he did with Jill, but he decides he can’t keep seeing her. He confesses that he’s worried he’ll start to care about her, and he doesn’t want to. Charlie and Kirsten are still tense, and he wonders if giving Pamela money would make her go away and fix things. (Um, you don’t have any money, Charlie.) Kirsten’s mad that Charlie has a child who isn’t hers. She doesn’t want it to matter that he has a kid with someone else, but she’s worried that his relationship with Spencer will crowd out his other relationships.
Charlie goes to Pamela’s and offers to help out financially. He thinks that would be better than actually being a presence in his child’s life. Then he gets distracted by the sight of Spencer playing with construction toys. Julia visits Griffin at work to complain that he never mentioned he had a girlfriend. He notes that she has a boyfriend but never talked about him over the summer. And what does it matter, if they’re not going out?
Back at home, Charlie tells Kirsten that he gave Pamela money but couldn’t stop himself from finding a connection with Spencer. At the bonfire, Justin teases Julia about her jealousy over Allison while Bailey and Will toast to their senior year. Claudia shows up, wanting some sort of celebration in honor of starting junior high. He lets her stay. Justin tells Julia that if she’d made a guy friend over the summer, he wouldn’t be jealous. In fact, he’d be happy that she wasn’t alone. And she wouldn’t have been jealous if they weren’t perfect for each other.
Sarah arrives and is secretly happy that Bailey didn’t bring Holly to the bonfire. He tells her that when his father tried to teach him to swim, he swallowed a bunch of water and couldn’t bring himself to try again. He asks if she thinks it’s okay for him to wait to start dating again. Of course she does. Meanwhile, Will dances with Claudia, because he’s awesome. Charlie goes back to Pamela’s with a present for Spencer, but she’s paid the rent she owed and moved out.
Thoughts: Sarah, I’m going to try to save you a lot of heartache and advise you to date Will instead.
On the other hand, Scott Wolf is looking cuter (maybe it’s the haircut), so I can’t really fault you for that crush.
Will, it’s not like Bailey was dumped. His girlfriend died. And it was only three months ago. You need to back off.
The wedding’s in nine weeks and they haven’t picked out invitations yet? What were they doing all summer?
April 21, 2013
Summary: At the campus quad, Donna complains to Steve and Andrea that Clare and David are helping Valerie find a new band for the Peach Pit After Dark. Brandon joins them and shares the supposedly confidential news that Lenny isn’t the real rapist and theft. Andrea’s beeper goes off and she says she has to go to work. No one questions why a college student with a research job would have an emergency beeper. Andrea winds up with Peter at their new no-tell motel room. Valerie and Clare audition bands at the After Dark. One of them is covered in mud.
David collects Lenny from the police station, saying he knew the charges would never stick. Lenny confesses that after he got back from Desert Storm, he went out with some friends, got really drunk, and woke up the next morning in jail, having been arrested for rape. He served two years and is now a registered sex offender. David thinks Lenny has turned his life around, since he’s in college and has made the dean’s list. Lenny notes that any time a sex crime is committed, his name will come up.
Indeed, word has spread, and Janice the angry student politician is one of the many people upset that Lenny was allowed on campus. Brandon would rather focus on the real rapist and the lack of security on campus. The police admit that they don’t have any suspects or leads. Over at his family’s hotel, Charlie tells Dylan about the screenplay he’s working on and invites him to help out. He notes that the hotel is a great place to work because people leave him alone. In fact, most of them are having secret rendezvous there. Hey, like that woman leaving right now, who Dylan knows!
Garrett, an employee from the campus quad, goes to the After Dark looking for a job. He chats with Donna, who’s there to confront Valerie for firing Ray. Val tells her that David thought they should get some new musicians. She further snows Donna by pointing out that Ray will grow more as a musician if he plays different venues. Donna goes to get Garrett, but he’s gone. She sees that someone moved her backpack and overreacts.
On campus, Steve runs into Valerie and gives her a ride in a golf cart (it looks like KEG is giving women rides so they’ll feel safer). She asks for his help finding a special music act to play on Friday night. Steve points out that he’s not supposed to get involved in that sort of thing, so someone finally remembered that. Then he promises to help anyway, so that was a waste of continuity. Lenny’s back on campus, and a mob of students is harassing him.
Dylan’s also back on campus to let Andrea know that he knows about her affair. He promises to keep it quiet. He tells her it’s not what he thinks, which is hilarious, because it’s exactly what Dylan thinks. He says it’s none of his business and won’t talk about it if she doesn’t want to. Andrea says something about how it’s good that she didn’t ignore her feelings, so if that’s how she’s able to sleep at night, good for her.
David learns that Lenny’s moving out of the dorm but thinks he should stay since he didn’t do anything. He should fight, not run away. Lenny doesn’t want to be “the poster child for ex-con rights.” David notes that he’s involved with campus media and is friends with the student-body president. Lenny says there are other things going on but won’t discuss them. David asks if that means he’s guilty. Lenny replies that he needs someone to believe in him even if he’s guilty.
Steve has lined up someone for the After Dark, but Valerie has already booked someone and shoos him away. “I hate her,” Steve grumbles. David goes to the beach apartment to try to get Clare to help him produce a profile on Lenny portraying him as rehabilitated. Clare won’t help; she thinks if Lenny wants to go to college, he should go to an all-male school. David doesn’t even get to broach the subject with Donna, since she thinks he helped Valerie get rid of Ray. He calls her self-involved and wonders why he ever dated her in the first place.
As someone packs a bag with a flashlight and knife, Cindy and Jackie hang out at the Peach Pit, discussing possible men for Jackie to date. Mel brings Erin for a custody exchange, and for some reason Jackie is all a-flutter. The rapist breaks into the beach apartment, and we finally see his face: It’s Garrett.
At the Walshes’ house, Brandon talks to Janice on the phone, telling her he’s not running for another term as president. Cindy tells him that Jackie and Mel are suddenly getting along; apparently Mel’s girlfriend just dumped him for someone younger. David comes by and asks Brandon to talk Lenny out of dropping out of CU. Brandon easily agrees. Jesse’s back from his massive interview tour, and he and Andrea immediately start fighting about random things. There’s yelling, and I hate them both.
Brandon tracks Lenny down on campus, and though Lenny is defensive at first, Brandon breaks the ice by making it clear that he doesn’t think Lenny’s the rapist. Lenny confirms that he was in custody when a girl named Melody was raped, which is why he was released. He asks how much cloud Brandon has with the administration and the police. Brandon wonders if Lenny needs a lawyer. Lenny announces that he knows who raped Melody.
Donna, Clare, and Steve hang out at the After Dark, waiting to find out who Valerie’s mystery performer is. Donna decides to bail early since it’s weird being there without Ray. She leaves just as Valerie brings out the mystery act, the Flaming Lips. David shows up and Clare tells him Donna went home.
Donna arrives to see Garrett in the apartment, and though she tries to overpower him with her self-defense training, she’s no match for him. He tells her she’s even prettier than Clare, then takes her to the bedroom, telling her they’re going to get to know each other. Brandon goes to the After Dark with the police, who think Clare’s the rapist’s target. Valerie recognizes Garrett’s name and tells Brandon and Steve that he may be a friend of Donna’s.
At the apartment, Garrett pulls his knife and Donna begs him not to hurt her. She tells him she’s a virgin, which is a surprise to him. David arrives and Donna tells Garrett he’s her roommate. He makes her tell him to go away. David thinks the lights are off because Donna has a migraine, and that she doesn’t want to talk to him because of Ray. She calls him Dave to try to signal that something’s wrong. It works, because when Donna screams, David runs into the room and attacks Garrett. Donna joins in and they knock him out.
Dylan’s back at the hotel with Charlie, and he sees Peter arrive for a hook-up with Andrea. Andrea announces that she’s leaving Jesse because there’s no point in being miserable with him when she can be happy with Peter. Peter, however, is happy with the current arrangements. He reminds Andrea that they agreed not to have any strings. She doesn’t seem to remember that. Dylan sees Peter leave and goes to comfort Andrea, who laments believing that she and Peter were going to be together.
The cops go to the beach apartment, along with Brandon and Clare. Brandon relays Lenny’s news that he was in military prison with Garrett. He was afraid to say anything when he was arrested because he thought he would be pegged as an accomplice. Garrett had been asking him about girls on campus, which tipped Lenny off that he was interested in Clare. Donna apologizes to David for using a figurine he gave her to knock out Garrett. He’s surprised she kept it, and she says of course she did – it was the last thing he gave her. They hug, and Clare should probably be worried.
Thoughts: Donna: “I don’t know your name.” Funny, because you greeted him by name less than a minute ago. Did a writer fall asleep or something?
Yeah, being alone in a golf cart with a frat guy woud not make me feel safe. They need to tell all the women not to walk alone at night.
Dylan suit status: still active. Also, contagious – David caught the disease.
I think the Flaming Lips are the first musicians to play on the show who are still performing today.
Kudos to the guy playing Garrett – he’s normal at first, kind of creepy later, then just full-on shiver-inducing scary at the apartment. Though I think the story would have worked better if there had been some indication that Clare might be the target earlier on. We would have thought he was going to the apartment for her and been surprised when he went after Donna instead.
Kelly isn’t in this episode, but no one’s worried, so I don’t think she went back to the cult.
April 20, 2013
Summary: Ross is hanging out at the Salingers’ house, asking lots of questions about Owen. Everyone is confused. Ross finally explains that he applied to adopt a baby, and recently learned that there’s a child available for him. Everyone is really happy for him. Bailey arrives with Jill and Claudia announces that someone’s having a baby. Little does she know that Bailey and Jill are in the middle of a pregnancy scare.
The two head up to a bathroom to take a pregnancy test, and Bailey tells Jill that “no matter what happens, I am never, ever having sex again.” Cut to the two of them out shopping with Claudia and Julia, and obviously the test was negative, because they’re in really good moods. Jill looks for a shirt for her brother, helping Julia pick out a jacket for Justin. She tells Bailey that she wants to run her own vintage store someday.
Back at home, Julia gives Justin the jacket, and he acts like the least appreciative person to ever receive a free piece of clothing. He thinks she’s trying to change him. (Maybe she should, since he’s currently a huge jerk.) That night, Bailey calls Jill at home and gets shocking news from her father. The rest of the family discusses allergies with Kirsten, who’s been sick lately. She announces that she’s allergic to Thurber and says one of them will have to leave. “Where will you go?” Charlie teases.
Bailey ruins the mood by announcing that Jill is dead. She relapsed with cocaine and her heart stopped. Everyone’s in shock. Later, Claudia asks Bailey a ton of questions, not understanding why Jill was using drugs again. She wonders if Jill was alone, and if she was scared. Bailey just asks why she’s crying. Claudia says she wants to go to the funeral, but Bailey says he’s not going – it would be a waste of time. Jill chose to throw her life away, and that’s not his problem. Elsewhere, Kirsten wonders why people say “but I just saw her” when they learn someone died.
Charlie and Julia go to the funeral without Bailey, though Charlie agrees with him that Jill’s life was a waste. Julia spots Jill’s brother Griffin and remarks that he must be cold without a jacket. Bailey sits in his jeep, watching everyone leave the church. Meanwhile, Kirsten takes Claudia to the hospital to meet Ross’ new baby. They discuss names, and Kirsten suggests naming the baby after Ross’ mother. She changes her mind when he says her name was Mavis.
Bailey takes Will to a club, clearly wanting to get drunk and forget about Jill. He tells Will not to stand around looking like someone just died. At home, Charlie tells his sisters that he’s going to propose to Kirsten. Julia and Claudia both approve of them using their mother’s ring. Will tries to take Bailey’s keys, since he’s too drunk to drive; Bailey fights him and ends up punching him, then taking off.
When Bailey gets home, Will’s already there, and Charlie lays into Bailey for driving drunk, which he should know better than to do because of their parents. Charlie says he’s not going to let Bailey self-destruct and end up killing himself. Bailey laughs because he said the same thing to Jill, and in the end, it didn’t make any difference.
At school, Julia approaches Griffin and offers to talk if he wants. He gets really close to her and mocks that she doesn’t know how he feels. Ross goes to the Salingers’ house so Kirsten can give him presents for the baby: a mobile and Thurber. (Nice try, Kirsten.) Ross sadly tells her that he doesn’t think he’ll be allowed to adopt the baby – the social worker found out that he’s gay. Now he’s been told there’s a “delay” in the process. Ross is worried because this is the only way he’ll be able to become a father.
Julia and Justin go back to the vintage store to return the jacket, because Justin is a jerk. She looks at the jackets again, but not for her boyfriend. At home, Kirsten suddenly asks Charlie if she’ll marry him. Only she’s stuffed up, so he thinks she’s asking him to bury her. Kirsten says pretty much exactly what Charlie told his sisters were his reasons for wanting to propose. He tells Kirsten he was going to propose, then accepts her proposal.
Julia takes Griffin a jacket, and he becomes the second person in the episode to decline free clothes. She explains that it’s really from Jill, who accidentally left his coat in L.A. She told Julia she was going to buy the jacket for him. Griffin tells her to go away. Julia tells him she knows what it’s like to lose someone. She got him the jacket because he looked cold.
At the house, Charlie tells Bailey that Jill’s mother called and asked Bailey to stop by. Bailey refuses. Charlie wants to help him through his grief, but Bailey says everyone gets through hard times alone. Jill was alone when she died because she couldn’t ask for help and he couldn’t give it. He doesn’t want Charlie or anyone else to care about him. Charlie thinks he’s just blaming himself, but Bailey says he doesn’t want to love anyone or be loved – “it’s too hard.” Charlie says that’s too bad, because he loves Bailey.
The next day, Ross gives Claudia the news that he’s officially not going to get the baby. He hates that he let himself love the baby before the adoption was finalized. At school, Julia approaches Griffin again; this time he’s wearing the jacket. She makes up a story about the guy who previously owned it. Wonderful things happened to that guy, so wonderful things can still happen to Griffin.
Bailey tracks down Ross’ social worker and tells her how great Ross has always been with Claudia, and how that can translate to parenting. He suggests that she watch the two of them interact before she makes a decision. Bailey doesn’t get how Ross’s sexuality matters if he loves the baby. He should be rewarded for being willing to love.
At home, Charlie looks through his mother’s jewelry box to get her ring. Bailey finds him and learns of the engagement. He says it feels right. Justin goes to the house to show Julia the shirt he got with his store credit. He thinks she’s going to dump him for a more rebellious guy (maybe like Griffin). Instead Julia thinks Justin is hotter now. I don’t get it. Charlie gives Kirsten the ring, but she doesn’t seem to like it all that much since the stone is so small.
Bailey goes to Jill’s grave and runs into Griffin, who wonders why Jill was so arrogant that she thought she could just do cocaine one more time. He admits to being angry enough to want to scream at her. Bailey says he feels the same way sometimes, but sometimes he just wants to touch her. He’s been trying to see more in her death than there is, but ultimately, he just thinks she made a mistake.
The other Salingers, Kirsten, and Ross gather at the restaurant, and it turns out Ross has ended up with the baby (now named Tess) after all. Bailey arrives just in time for a toast to Charlie and Kirsten’s engagement. Ross thanks him for what he said to the social worker, but Bailey doesn’t want the credit. He holds the baby as the family toasts and starts talking wedding arrangements.
Thoughts: I didn’t start watching the show until season 2, so I didn’t realize that Griffin was originally played by James Marsden (he goes by Jimmy here, which is weird), then replaced with Jeremy London. Joke’s on London, though – Marsden’s mad a much more successful career. (And is HOT.)
Ross should have just adopted Owen. It would have been a win-win for everyone, since his siblings barely spend any time with him anyway.
Julia should have gotten Griffin a shirt, because it appears he only has two.
Wait, Justin got store credit for the jacket Julia paid for? Jerk!
And that’s a wrap on season 1! Bring on Jennifer Love Hewitt!
April 17, 2013
Summary: Lou from Kristy and the Worst Kid Ever is back in town, having been adopted (along with her older brother) by her aunt and uncle. And she’s completely different. Not only is she not bratty, whiny, grouchy, or rude, but she’s the exact opposite. Take the most well-behaved, polite child you can think of, then double it, and you have Lou.
Unfortunately, she’s not as great as she sounds. She goes so overboard with trying to please people that she gets on their nerves instead. Abby’s working on a big project for Black History Month, with a bunch of kids helping, and Lou’s desire to please actually has the opposite effect. She ends up screwing things up, and Abby’s so annoyed that she snaps at her.
Lou’s behavior continues like this until one day she accidentally breaks one of her aunt and uncle’s plates. She panics and admits that she’s worried they’ll send her away. As has been clear from the first page she appeared on in this book, Lou is overdoing the niceness because she’s afraid of being taken back to foster care. (And if that doesn’t break your heart, then I’d like to know what shade of black your heart is.) Her aunt and uncle assure her that they love her and want her around no matter how she acts.
The B-plot involves a very un-Lou-like kid, Sean Addison. The Addisons are moving to Seattle, and Sean is grumpy because he doesn’t think anyone will miss him. Which they probably won’t, because he’s a brat. Part of this stems from the whole library thing with Mary Anne. Some of the BSC girls try to spend the day with him, letting him do whatever he wants, but he gets the impression that they only hung out with him because they felt obligated. The whole thing doesn’t really get resolved, but it’s not like it matters, since the family’s moving across the country. Then we meet the Nichollses, the family moving into the Addisons’ house, and the BSC girls get a weird vibe from the father. But that’s for another book.
The C-plot (I guess) is about Abby’s project, which she stresses about because she needs a good grade. She can’t decide what to focus on until Nicky Pike suggests the Underground Railroad, since the Spiers’/Schafers’ house was supposedly a stop. (I thought this was nice continuity from past books where we were told he likes to hang out in Dawn’s secret passageway.) Eventually Abby makes a fake news report about an escaped slave and includes some behind-the-scenes footage. It sounds like she did a ton of work and wound up with a great result.
Thoughts: Mallory does her Black History Month project on “deconstruction of Uncle Tom’s Cabin from 1852 until now.” Um, NO. She’s in sixth grade. There’s no way she knows what deconstruction is. (Also, after all the lit theory discussions I had in college, that word makes me cringe. But not as much as “post-modern” makes me cringe.)
Claudia and Corrie work on a project that’s actually pretty cool. They make a big mural of Stoneybrook and put in people and places Corrie will want to remember after she moves. I also love that they draw Kristy’s grandmother’s car, the Pink Clinker, speeding down the street with the police chasing her.
“I wasn’t the new kid anymore.” No kidding, Abby. You’ve been in the series for two years and you’ve had more books than Mallory and Jessi combined during that time.
April 15, 2013
Summary: Valerie calls LuAnn, looking for Ray, but she lies that he just left. Rush comes by her hotel room and she tells him she wants to buy the Peach Pit After Dark from him. He’s willing to negotiate a deal. The gang throws Kelly a welcome-back-from-your-cult picnic, but Donna leaves after about 30 seconds to meet Ray. As someone lurks in the bushes, watching, a friend of David’s tells the group that someone stole a bunch of bikes from outside a dorm.
Valerie tracks Ray down at the After Dark, arriving just before Donna does. Nothing happens. David and his dorm mate Lenny bowl with soda cans in a dorm hallway; Clare’s bored and makes fun of Lenny’s music collection. Then she leaves, telling David she doesn’t like Lenny because he’s weird. Peter flirts with Andrea at the hospital, and I guess neither of them is worried about anyone seeing them and telling their spouses. Then they make out in an on-call room, because this really is Grey’s Anatomy.
Ray does a set at the After Dark while Donna shows off her poodle-like hairdo. David’s sick of hearing the same songs over and over. Steve and Rush are both around, so I guess we’re just supposed to forget that Steve isn’t allowed to be there. He gets suspicious when he sees his father talking to Valerie. After Ray’s set, Rush announces to the club that Valerie is the new owner. This is news to David, Clare, and Ray. Donna’s the only person who thinks it’s not a horrible idea.
Valerie goes to Dylan’s in the middle of the night to celebrate her new purchase. (And also to smoke some pot.) He declines, and she thinks it’s because he’d rather be with Kelly. He counters that she’d rather be with someone else, too. She goes, but leaves a joint behind. The Walshes discuss Valerie, wondering whether they should tell her mother what she’s up to. Jim says she can do whatever she wants with her money. If she gets into trouble, she’ll come to them.
Steve calls Brandon to let him know that some frat houses were robbed overnight. Brandon isn’t sure what he should do, so way to take your role as president seriously, Bran. The bush lurker watches Kelly as David dreads working with Valerie. Lenny comes by and talk turns to why he lives in a dorm. David notes that he was in the Army, so he should have some sort of GI benefits. Lenny says he has to “beg, borrow, and steal” to afford things, and David makes a joke about the bike thefts. Lenny doesn’t find it funny.
Jesse’s out of town on another interview, so he’s not there when Peter pops by his and Andrea’s place. She’s mad at him for taking a risk and coming over, but not mad enough to deny him some making out. At the After Dark, Ray pretends that he’s finally gotten Valerie’s messages. She threatens to pull his performance slots if he doesn’t start sleeping with her again. He refuses, so she tells David and Clare to book some new performers. Now David’s happy.
Steve meets Rush for lunch and grills him about his arrangement with Valerie; he thinks they slept together. Rush just laughs and gives him commission from the sale. Dylan goes to the park to smoke Valerie’s joint, but he can’t get his lighter to light. Clare gives Donna the news that Valerie doesn’t want Ray at the After Dark anymore, promising that she campaigned for him to stay. Donna isn’t surprised to hear that David didn’t.
Meanwhile, Ray packs his things to go on the road and play at various colleges. LuAnn blasts him for leaving without saying goodbye to Donna. She tells him to go to the gig he has booked that night, then go see Donna. Dylan visits Charlie at the hotel his family owns and admits that he almost smoked pot. Charlie tells him to stop letting Kelly get to him. He also advises Dylan to figure out what he wants to do with his life.
Brandon complains to Kelly that everyone wants him to beef up campus security. People get robbed all the time; he can’t do anything about it. Kelly hears rustling in the bushes but doesn’t see the lurker. We do, and he has a knife and shiny black shoes. Later, David, Clare, and Lenny learn that a girl was raped and cut in the bushes in the middle of the day. Hey, guess who has shiny black shoes? If you said Lenny, you get a gold star!
Brandon, however, doesn’t get a gold star; he’s still whining about having to deal with crimes on campus. Kelly’s freaked out because she and Brandon were right in the area where the girl was attacked. Ray does go to the After Dark for his gig, warning Valerie to stay away from Donna. He hints that he’s going to tell Donna that they had an affair. Valerie calls his bluff, saying he wouldn’t risk hurting her.
Dylan stops by just long enough to return her joint, then goes to the Peach Pit to mope. Kelly finds him there and thanks him for coming to her picnic, even though he didn’t stay long. She also thinks that without him, she’d still be a Finion. She wants him to promise that he’ll always be her friend. Over at the hospital, Peter gives Andrea a motel key, telling her he’s booked a room by the week. She tells him she might meet him there some night.
Donna watches Ray’s farewell performance while Nat wonders why Valerie’s cutting him loose. She tells him to just handle refreshments while she handles running the club. David and Clare skip work to hang out at the student union, where they wind up talking to Lenny. They’re surprised when a detective arrives and asks Lenny to come to the police station for questioning. He thinks he’s being accused of stealing the bikes, but that’s not what it’s about.
After his final set, Ray tells Donna he’s leaving town and isn’t sure when he’s coming back. She thinks something’s off. He starts to tell her about Valerie, but Donna doesn’t need to hear anything other than that he loves her.
Thoughts: The casting of Jed Allan as Rush is great. He and Ian Ziering have a lot of similar mannerisms and facial expressions.
Andrea is a mega-jerk for what she’s doing to poor Jesse. He deserves so much better.
Brandon, your compassion is matched only by your lack of compassion. Can you imagine him as the president of the U.S.? “There was a school shooting? Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know what you expect me to do about it.”
So we’re just going to completely ignore how Dylan keeps wearing suits?
Even if Lenny were the rapist (and he’s obviously not), why would I care? We were just introduced to him.
April 14, 2013
Summary: Claudia and Artie are at a convenience store, debating what kind of junk food to get. A man comes in, pulls a gun on the cashier, and robs him. The kids hide and stay quiet but see the whole thing. At the restaurant, Charlie’s coworker/old college friend Dudley complains to him about his ex/neighbor, who just moved out of her apartment. Charlie wants to move in. Kirsten calls and Dudley flirts with her, because he’s that guy.
A police officer talks to Claudia and Artie at the Salingers’ house, but neither kid can agree on a description of the robber. Artie’s a little too excited about being involved in a police investigation. At school, Jill tells Bailey that she’s helping to run a dance marathon. He thinks it’ll be too much for her to handle so soon after she’s started rehab. Jill notes that her doctor says it would be good for her to get involved in school activities.
Julia tries to convince Justin to do the marathon with her, realizing that they’ve never danced together. She also realizes that it’s because he can’t dance. Bailey and Jill hang out, and he again says that he thinks she’s doing too much by helping with the marathon. He makes the good point that it’s probably not the best idea for her to stay awake for 36 hours. Jill accuses him of being unsupportive. He wants to make things up to her with sex, but Jill’s doctor has advised her to stop using sex to solve her problems.
Justin and Julia practice dancing in the Salingers’ backyard, and he makes a move toward getting her naked. Charlie and Kirsten look at an apartment, though she thinks it’s a bad idea for him to move out. He thinks the kids can take care of themselves, and he’ll look in on them every day. He starts packing at home, making Claudia sad. The police want Claudia to come look at someone in a lineup, but Charlie has Bailey take her, because he can’t be bothered. The lineup doesn’t produce the culprit.
Bailey then heads to the marathon and helps out, since Jill doesn’t have all of the details nailed down. Julia and Justin flirt and goof around before things start, then spend the dancing hours kissing. Charlie and Kirsten go to a party at Dudley’s, boring me. Back at the marathon, Will has a great time with his date, a cheerleader Bailey didn’t think he’d be able to get to go with him. Jill gets in trouble because someone spiked the punchbowl, but Bailey takes the blame. She doesn’t appreciate it.
The dancers get a five-minute break, and Justin gives Julia his wallet so they can get some food. She finds a condom inside. Dudley invites Charlie and Kirsten out on a houseboat trip, which Kirsten is extremely unexcited about. Charlie wants to go, despite the fact that sailing and drinking for three days isn’t his kind of thing. Kirsten wants to leave the party, but Charlie won’t leave with her.
Alone at home, Claudia has a nightmare. When Charlie gets back, she’s in his bed with Kirsten. Kirsten chastise Charlie for staying out so late; he grumps that she should have stayed, but she’s glad she was home to comfort Claudia. Charlie thinks he can have an active social life while still looking after his siblings. His solution to Claudia’s angst is to get a new lock for the front door and bolt the windows.
Artie shows up to announce that the robber was caught. He’s disappointed because there won’t be a trial, so he won’t get to testify. Claudia’s just relieved that the robber is behind bars. Julia congratulates Jill on a successful marathon, then asks how many guys she thinks carry condoms in their wallets. “How many guys do you think are having sex?” Jill replies. (All of them, Julia. All of them.)
Will and his dance partner get disqualified for making out instead of dancing. “My tongue was moving! That counts!” he argues. Bailey remarks to a chaperone that the marathon is starting to remind him of a movie he once saw: Carrie. It’s hour 18, and Jill is starting to fall apart. The chaperone suggests that they end the marathon at 24 hours instead of 36. Julia’s starting to get uncomfortable being with Justin, and she suggests that they quit. He doesn’t get what’s wrong with her.
At hour 23, Bailey tries to convince Jill to end the marathon early. She refuses, accusing Bailey of waiting all night for her to screw things up. No matter how things turn out, she wants to be able to say she ran everything. Charlie and Dudley do shots at the restaurant, toasting a lost weekend they once had together. Charlie remembers it less favorably than Dudley does, since they got so drunk that they missed a gig. Claudia has another nightmare – every room in the house is empty, and she can hear Charlie talking but can’t find him.
Charlie spends the night on a couch in his new apartment, oversleeping and forgetting to open the restaurant early for a produce delivery. Julia drops by, noting that he’s officially moved out of the house. She tells him she’ll miss having him around; things weren’t perfect, but they were getting better. Charlie assures her that she can come to him anytime she needs something. Julia takes the opportunity to ask about sex.
Jill skipped school, so Bailey goes to her house and confronts her for being difficult. She tells him that if she’s going to quit using drugs, she needs to feel like she can accomplish things without his help. In other words, if she has a flat tire, she won’t let him change it for her, but she’d like for him to teach her how to do it. Bailey will take that.
Claudia is sent home from school after falling asleep in class and hitting her head on her desk. She tells Charlie about her nightmares, and he’s surprised to hear that they’re not about the robbery. Justin tracks down Julia at the school pool (um, okay then) and tells her he figured out that she’s upset because she found his condom. She says that she cares about him but isn’t quite ready to have sex. He tells her he only has it so he’s prepared; he doesn’t want to rush anything. Right now, he’s getting enough intimacy from their makeout sessions. Then they go skinny-dipping.
Kirsten meets Charlie at the new apartment, telling him she had a debate with herself over whether to get him a painting. If she did, she would be supporting his decision to move; if she didn’t, she would be saying she wasn’t on his side. Ultimately, she got the painting, but Charlie tells her to put it in his truck. He’s realized that he’s already had the life of a single partier, and he doesn’t like that guy anymore. A year ago, no one needed him, and he felt lucky. Now, he just wants to go home.
Thoughts: How in the world did Charlie plan to explain his new living situation to social services?
That robber is an idiot. Pulling a gun in broad daylight without wearing a mask or looking to make sure there were no witnesses? That’s just asking to get busted.
A 36-hour marathon? Yikes. Even the one on Gilmore Girls was only 24 hours.
Justin, the best place to try to get your girlfriend named is probably not in her backyard while other people are home.
Once again, I don’t get why Julia doesn’t go to Kirsten when she has personal problems or questions. I don’t care if I had a gun to my head – I still wouldn’t ask any of my brothers for sex advice.
Owen’s not in this episode, and given the level of responsibility his siblings have been showing, I’m a little worried about him.