January 30, 2013
SVH Super Thriller, “R” for Revenge: Three Cheers for the Crazy Lady
Jessica has a little Tori Spelling thing going on
Summary: There’s a new rule at SVH stating that all clubs need faculty advisors, so the cheerleaders have to find someone they can manipulate into sitting there quietly while they do whatever they want at practices. By the way, Lila is temporary filling in for some cheerleader we don’t care about, so the level of superior feelings on the squad is higher than ever. (By the way, the other girls are Jessica, Heather, Amy, Jade, Annie, Maria Santelli, and Patty.) Also, Jessica and Heather still hate each other. Anyway, the new assistant librarian, Nancy Swanson, is nice and quiet and interested in cheerleading, so Elizabeth suggests her as the squad’s advisor.
Liz is doing her own cheerleading-related thing: She’s been asked to help research a magazine article on SVH’s 1976 cheer squad, which went to nationals. She’s picked both because of her stunning writing ability (I guess?) and because she was on the most recent nationals-worthy squad. The writer is a woman named Diane who was on the squad and I guess needs help calling up her old friends and asking what they’re doing now. The photographer is a guy named Brad, and since he’s young, hot, and shows the slightest bit of interest in Jessica, she’s all over him. He turns out to be a total player and is really annoying, and he keeps popping up and doing nothing interesting, so let’s ignore him.
Elizabeth’s research finds that there was a girl on the ’76 squad who left partway through the year because of some sort of condition. The other cheerleaders remember nothing about her, including her name. Liz and Diane also can’t get in touch with one of the cheerleaders, Loretta, so they go talk to her sister. They learn that Loretta got drunk and drowned not long after nationals. She’d been troubled because during senior year she was in a car accident that killed a classmate named George. I don’t know why Diane doesn’t know any of this, but whatever. Loretta’s sister mentions a girl coming to the house after the car accident and screaming at Loretta for killing her boyfriend.
The cheerleaders don’t notice, but Nancy is a little crazy. She confuses the girls with other people and keeps covering part of her face. Eventually it comes out that Nancy was the cheerleader who left the ’76 squad. She developed some sort of disfiguring facial thing, and the girls bullied her into leaving the squad. Loretta finished her off by threatening to steal George from her if she didn’t quit. Being involved with another cheerleading squad makes Nancy blur the lines between the past and the present, and she decides the SVH girls need to be punished for what the ’76 girls did.
Over the course of a weekend, the cheerleaders start to disappear. First the girls think Amy and Jade have gone to another town to pick up new uniforms. Then they think everyone’s having a sleepover at Maria’s. Finally Nancy goes by the Wakefields’ and kidnaps Jessica at gunpoint, finishing her collection. She ties them all up in a flooded basement and plays ’70s music really loudly because she can’t stand all the noise in her head.
Elizabeth’s research finally proves useful, and she figures out that Nancy was the unknown cheerleader. She goes to talk to her about the article but quickly realizes that something isn’t right. Nancy tosses her in the basement with the other girls, who are all trying to keep their heads above water. Heather’s sick, Amy’s having an allergic reaction to mold, and poor Jade keeps passing out and almost drowning. So it’s an actual scary, life-threatening situation.
Jessica gets herself untied, so there’s a plus in the cheerleaders’ side. The girls just need to get Nancy to open the door so they can let the water out, and they decide the best way to do that is to play along with her crazy. They start cheering and ask her to join them. She opens the door, the water goes whoosh, and the girls are free. Score one for girls being smart and taking care of themselves. Plus, the experience makes Jessica and Heather realize they don’t hate each other that much, so that rivalry’s over, at least for now.
Oh, I almost forgot: There’s also a Liz/Todd fight because he doesn’t like how much time she’s spending on the article. Todd is a jerk. The end.
Thoughts: Some students are upset that all activities need faculty advisors now, but isn’t that standard? I’m pretty sure all clubs at my school had to have advisors. A bunch of guys even had an advisor for their semi-fake snooker club. I’m pretty sure he just sat in the room while they…actually, I don’t know what they did. I doubt they played snooker.
Jessica says “cowabunga.” I’m pretty sure even Bart Simpson had stopped saying that by 1996.
“She’s the new library lady.” You mean librarian? Shut up, Todd.
“Now, Jessica, is that a nice thing to say?” Now, Alice, you haven’t tried to shape Jessica morally for 16 years, so why start now?
Hey, Jeffrey Finch still exists! Good for him.
Dear Elizabeth, if your boyfriend doesn’t support you when you’re doing something that’s really important, DUMP HIM. I mean, you’ve dumped him for less.
Watching an aerobics class, Brad tells Elizabeth, “You’d look really hot in one of those outfits.” Okay, first, don’t ever say that to the sister of the girl you’re dating. Second, EW.
Elizabeth: “I’d rather date a live crocodile, covered with army ants!” Jessica: “Kinky!” Congratulations, SVH, you made a sex joke.
Aw, Jade’s too short to keep her head above the water. I feel you, girl.
September 28, 2011
SVH #101, The Boyfriend War: An Affair to Remember
Summary: Lila takes Jessica to Jamaica for spring break, not telling her until they’re already there that it’s not really a vacation. They’ve been volunteered by Lila’s mom to work at Kiddie Paradise, which is basically a place where parents drop their kids for a week and never deal with them. Jessica’s furious and doesn’t want to have anything to do with Lila. And since the girls aren’t talking, they don’t realize that they’re dating the same guy, Mick (who’s also dating one of the other Kiddie Paradise employees).
Once the girls figure out that Mick is a jerk, they enlist Jessica’s wild group of kids to help them get revenge. They break Mick’s watch and cut and dye his hair purple all under the guise of a magic show. It’s lame, but Lila and Jessica are okay again. As if we ever thought something could break them up for good.
Elizabeth gets the better plot: She’s back in Sweet Valley, researching Alice’s family for an English project. Except Alice won’t be around to interview because she’s now working for Hank and will be going to Chicago with him. This upsets Bruce, as his parents are getting divorced and he thinks Hank and Alice are having an affair. He keeps insisting on this to Elizabeth, who thinks he’s crazy…until she finds a photo of Alice and Hank in a wedding gown and tux. So now Elizabeth isn’t so sure that things between Hank and Alice are innocent.
The really lame plot goes to Amy, who doesn’t think her family is interesting enough for the English project and tries to steal info on Alice’s family instead. She specifically wants to write about Jessamyn. When Elizabeth wonders what her interest is, Amy says that she thinks people in Alice’s family history might help shed some light on who she is. Elizabeth decides she’s right and she should include Jessamyn in her paper. So Amy shot herself in the foot on that one.
Thoughts: Kiddie Paradise is basically summer camp on an island. I really don’t think the parents have any interaction with the kids the whole time they’re there. It’s weird.
I’m fairly certain Lila is in no way related to someone who goes by Jimmo.
Jessica: “I never even got to show you my new red dress for wearing to the disco!” Did that sentence get translated from another language?
Enid says, “Yoo-hoo.” Of course she does.
In case there was any doubt that Bruce is a creep, he has no regrets about trying to rape Elizabeth in Dear Sister.
September 3, 2011
SVH #99, Beware the Baby-Sitter: Don’t Tell Mom the Baby-Sitter’s Winston
Margo, if you want to be a Wakefield, you're going to need to wear much more interesting clothes
Summary: Guess what? Margo’s still crazy! She’s working at a daycare center in Sweet Valley and puppeteering Jessica’s new boyfriend James. She learns that Olivia’s new boyfriend Harry is throwing a costume party that everyone in Sweet Valley will be going to (well, everyone in Sweet Valley who’s 18 and under), so she gets James to find out what Jessica’s wearing, then wears the same thing. Except Elizabeth is ALSO wearing the same thing, so there are three identical girls at the party.
Also at the party? Josh, the brother of Margo’s child victim in The Arrest. He attacks Jessica at the party, thinking she’s Margo, and gets himself kicked out. He’s also the only person to realize there are three “Wakefields” at the party, not two.
Winston’s parents are out of town for the week, so he’s looking forward to having a bachelor pad. That idea goes out the window right away when a new neighbor comes by looking for someone to watch her baby, Daisy. Her husband is being detained in a Central American country and she has to take something to him. Winston pretends his mom is home and will look after the baby, then ends up taking care of her himself (well, with tons of help from Maria and some female friends). Wacky hijinks ensue.
After missing a few days of school, Winston decides to take Daisy there with him and pass her around so various people can look after her while he goes to class. This leads to a genuinely funny scene where Lila loses track of Daisy, who crawls over to Bruce and unties his shoe while he’s obliviously rocking out to The Who. Lila doesn’t want news getting out about her sitting job, so she tries to get Daisy away from Bruce without him noticing. She does, and he trips over his shoelaces.
Anyway, after about a week, Winston’s friends convince him that he needs to take the baby to Social Services since her mother is still gone and hasn’t even called. Winston instead goes to the daycare for advice and ends up talking to Margo. She’s all, “Elizabeth’s involved? Me likey!” She stops by his house, offers to babysit, and runs into Elizabeth, who’s freaked out by their similar eye color.
Winston winds up taking Daisy to Margo, since Margo said she would take Daisy to Social Services. Minutes later, Daisy’s parents return. Fortunately, Daisy’s still at the daycare center, but now Margo’s gone. She’s working on the next step of her plan: getting Ned and Alice out of town for a couple days so she can kill Elizabeth and take her place.
During all this, the twins have decided to put the past behind them and start speaking again. But then Elizabeth finds Todd’s letter, realizes Jessica lied to her, and starts up the fight again. So I guess we’re supposed to think that when Margo comes after Elizabeth, Jessica…won’t do anything? This fight is pointless with regard to the Margo plotline. Oh, but Todd and Elizabeth do get back together. As if there were any doubt.
Oh, and there’s a small plot about Winston betting Amy that he’ll be able to diaper Daisy quickly by the party. Whoever wins the bet gets to choose the other person’s costume. Winston loses and makes Amy dress as a nun. Heh.
Thoughts: Hey, Enid? If you’re in love with Elizabeth, just tell her, okay? And if you’re not, stop checking her out.
Amy and Winston, just kiss already.
“Is it illegal to keep a baby in your house, even if the mother gives her to you?” Winston. Nerds are supposed to be smart.
Jessica wears white pantyhose with glittery stars on them. I didn’t realize she was still seven.
Interesting that Enid would dress up as Amelia Earhart when she herself was in a plane crash.
August 22, 2011
SVH #98, The Wedding: Margo at the Wedding
Lila would NEVER wear that dress. For shame, cover artist
Summary: Lila decides that the only way to get Grace to stay in California is to Parent Trap her parents back together. This means getting rid of Grace’s obnoxious French boyfriend, Pierre. He unknowingly helps her out by groping Amy, who confides in Lila. Lila gets Pierre drunk and goes to dinner alone with her parents, where George takes advantage of Pierre’s absence to propose to Grace. When Pierre arrives, Lila tells him she knows what he did to Amy, but she’ll keep quiet if he goes back to France. He agrees, and George and Grace get engaged without even knowing what was going on with Pierre.
Jessica and Todd’s “relationship,” or whatever, fizzles out, so Jessica’s down one dead boyfriend and one boyfriend she was dating just to stick it to Elizabeth. She visits Sam’s grave and realizes that she needs to stop feeling sorry for herself and do something. She comes up with the idea to hold a fundraising bike rally in Sam’s honor. Jessica and Elizabeth are still not talking, though they come close to a breakthrough when Jessica comforts Liz after a nightmare and almost tell she spiked her and Sam’s drinks at Jungle Prom.
Speaking of Elizabeth, she’s getting back into the swing of things but still hasn’t reconnected with Todd. She’s ticked because he was with Jessica, and because he hasn’t made an effort to talk to her since the prom (she still doesn’t know about the letter he wrote her in The Verdict, which Jessica stole). At the wedding, Todd asks Liz to dance, but they don’t talk, and when the dance is over, she simply thanks him and walks away.
Margo meets a dirt biker named James and hires him to a) enter Jessica’s rally and b) go out with her so he can get information on the Wakefields for Margo. She also gets a job as a caterer so she can gain access to George and Grace’s wedding and stalk the twins. (How does she do this? By killing someone. Seriously, this chick is twisted.) Margo’s getting closer and closer to fulfilling her plan to kill Elizabeth and take her place, but she doesn’t know that Josh, the brother of the boy she killed in The Arrest (and who she previously ran into in The Verdict), has figured out where she is.
Thoughts: Grace is the president of a multimillion-dollar stationery company. That is the least plausible part of this book.
I’m surprised Elizabeth went to a dirt-bike rally to memorialize someone she killed and organized by someone she’s not speaking to.
Winston brings a cowbell to the rally. Of course he does. If you asked me which SVH character would be most likely to bring a cowbell to a sporting event, I would definitely say Winston.
George and Grace’s wedding cake has 50 tiers. Aaaaaaand they’ve officially gone overboard.
August 8, 2011
SVH #97, The Verdict: Deus Ex Machina
Elizabeth makes my soul feel cold
Summary: So, yeah, Elizabeth’s still on the hook for Sam’s death. The Wakefields are basically falling apart, with the twins not speaking to each other, Ned trying to come up with a defense, and Alice slowly losing it. Jessica is still trying to stick it to Liz by dating Todd, who’s only with her out of pity and wants to get back together with Elizabeth. Todd writes Liz a letter, but Jessica intercepts it and tells him Elizabeth tore it up after she read it.
Elizabeth still can’t remember what happened the night of Sam’s death, so things aren’t looking so good for her. Until she gets a deus ex machina in the form of a guy who was driving drunk on the same road at the same time. He confesses to running Elizabeth’s car off the road and killing Sam. Suddenly, Elizabeth’s hopeless defense is moot, and she’s free. Jessica is only pleased because she still hasn’t been busted for spiking Elizabeth’s drink. Now she’s jealous that everyone’s happy about Elizabeth but doesn’t seem to care that Sam’s still dead.
Lila’s mom is still in town, and Lila thinks her parents are finding their way back to each other. Grace wants to stay in Sweet Valley, but she admits to Lila that things with her and George are complicated. She was very young (19) when she married George, and they’d only been together for a couple of months. He was poor when they got together, while her family was rich, and he felt threatened by her wealth. Eventually Grace left, taking Lila with her, but George, now rich, threatened her with a custody battle if she didn’t leave Lila with him. Grace felt her hands were tied, so she gave in, then went to Europe to get away from the situation. Now Lila wants to reunite her parents.
Pamela’s at SVH but everyone thinks she’s a slut, especially Bruce, so she has no friends. Amy realizes that they haven’t treated Pamela fairly, so she and Lila befriend her. Amy then goes to Bruce and gets him to see that people’s reputations aren’t always accurate. He finds Pamela basically being kidnapped by some Big Mesa jerk, saves her, and gets the girl.
Steven and his roommate, Billie, are falling in loooooooove. When people start talking about how Alice is losing it, Steven thinks Billie spilled what he confided to her. They get into a big fight and she moves out. Then Steven finds out Jessica was the blabbermouth, and he and Billie make up. Yes, that’s really it.
And then there’s Margo. She’s about to get to Sweet Valley when she encounters the brother of the kid she killed in The Arrest. He tells her the police are looking for her, so she makes a brief detour to San Diego. Sometime later, she does make it to Sweet Valley, where she learns that Elizabeth has been cleared of killing Sam, and that she has a twin sister. Margo buys a blond wig and decides she’s going to take Elizabeth’s place.
Thoughts: All right, Alice finally cracked! I knew it was only a matter of time.
“Maybe a guy should be there for his girlfriend instead of turning around and dating her twin sister.” That Todd, he’s a sharp one.
“Even at Big Mesa, everyone knew that Elizabeth Wakefield was one of the nicest kids at Sweet Valley High.” Are you freaking kidding me?
Phew, Maria’s last name is back intact.
Why do the cheerleaders cheer at soccer games? Is that normal?
I can’t believe Elizabeth doesn’t get a big celebration when she goes back to school after being exonerated. No slow clap or anything!
January 23, 2011
SVH #75, Amy’s True Love: He’s Here, He’s Queer, No One Cares
WASP alert!
Summary: Amy wants some attention, so she decides she should get a boyfriend. Specifically, she decides she should get Tom McKay, who’s recently broken up with Jean West. Jessica and Lila think she’s terribly uncouth for wanting to get with Tom just after he’s split from a fellow cheerleader, so they start ignoring her, wanting to show her what it’s like not to be at the center of attention. Because they’re the arbiters of which behaviors are appropriate and which aren’t.
Amy’s also struggling in sociology class, so her teacher suggests that she volunteer at a youth clinic. While she’s there, she gets to know Barry Rork, a friend of Tom’s, who develops a crush on her. Amy basically starts stalking Tom, who doesn’t want to have anything to do with her, while Barry kind of stalks Amy. (Yep, it’s one of those stalkerish love triangles.) Amy is completely unable to take a hint, and when Tom keeps trying to get away from her, she thinks she just needs to try harder.
Enid’s cousin Jake, a tennis player, is in town, and he hits it off with Tom. While visiting, Jake comes out to Enid, who kind of handles the news poorly, more because she’s surprised than because she doesn’t like that he’s gay. Jake also comes out to Tom, who starts to wonder if he might be gay, too. He goes to Mr. Collins for advice (is there no guidance counselor at SVH?), and Mr. Collins advises him to talk to someone at the youth clinic. The same day Tom goes there, Elizabeth is there to interview the director for the Oracle, and she sees Tom looking at a pamphlet about homosexuality and teens. Elizabeth pretty much doesn’t care, and neither does Barry when Tom tells him he might be gay.
Amy tells Barry she’s going to ask Tom out, but Barry (having been told by Tom that he’s really sick of Amy bugging him) breaks it to her that Tom won’t want to go. Amy asks Tom out anyway, and is embarrassed when he rejects her. Later, he sends her a nice apology note, and Amy learns that Barry stood up for her with that jerk Kirk Anderson, who was being…well, a jerk, so Barry must like her. Amy’s kind of been fighting feelings for him because she doesn’t think he’s cool enough, but I guess since Jessica thinks he’s okay, she does, too. And then Lila and Jessica lift their Amy ban, so everything’s good.
Thoughts: I kind of felt sorry for Amy in this book. But she mostly brings all her grief on herself, so it’s hard to keep up the sympathy for long.
Amy wonders why Tom and Jean broke up, and Jessica says, “I don’t know. It isn’t any of my business.” Aaaaaaaand Hell just froze over.
Amy is so wrong for a job counseling troubled teens that even she knows it.
“Barry was a nice guy, really sweet and sincere. What could he possibly like about Amy Sutton?” And this is from Jessica. The girl’s best friends don’t even like her!
September 19, 2010
SVH #60, That Fatal Night: Soap Valley High
Being blind is no excuse for not smizing, Ken
Summary: Ken Matthews has two admirers – the annoying Amy Sutton and some chick named Terri Adams, who’s the assistant statistician for the football team. Ken doesn’t think of Terri as anything more than a friend, which is all he would like to think of Amy as, since he finds her much less charming than she finds him. One night after a victory party for a football win, Ken is run off the road by a drunk driver and winds up blind (just go with it). Suddenly we’re in a soap opera. (If this is General Hospital, Jessica is Carly, since she’s a manipulative shrew, but, interestingly, Elizabeth is also Carly, with the meddling and the self-righteousness.)
Amy blames Terri for the accident, since Ken was driving her home. Almost everyone except Jessica and Elizabeth has a weird reaction to Ken’s situation, not sure how to treat a blind person, especially someone they’ve known so long. After a month of rehab, Ken returns to SVH and tries to get back to his normal life, but it turns out Terri’s pretty much the only person who still treats him the same. Elizabeth advises Terri (shocking, right?) to pretend to be blind so she can better understand how Ken feels, and Terri uses that experience to get Ken back out in the world, experiencing things in a different way.
Ken and Terri start spending a lot of time together, and Amy doesn’t even object, because she’s already moved on to the guy who’s taken over for Ken as quarterback. Um, ouch. Terri and Ken start spending a lot of time together, until it gets to the point where he’s become really dependent on her. He realizes he’s falling for her, but he doesn’t think she would want to date a blind guy, so he does that typical movie/TV show/book thing of pushing her away. They get into a big fight and Terri finally announces that she loves Ken, which wakes him up and gets him doing things on his own. Then he declares his love for Terri and they get together. And then he sees the sun. Awwww. Or something.
Thoughts: I think whoever chose the title for this book meant to use the word “fateful” instead of fatal. No one dies, so “fatal” makes no sense.
Ken drinks orange juice at the party. I don’t advocate teen drinking, but these people are so lame.
Enid: “Lila and Bruce would make a perfect couple!” I KNOW, RIGHT! Enid sees what no one else does. Especially Ken. (Rimshot!)
Elizabeth tells Terri to tell Ken how she feels. Darn it, if she keeps giving actual good advice, we’ll never be able to stop her.
August 15, 2010
SVH #55, Perfect Shot: Get It? Because She Plays Basketball? And He Takes Pictures? “Shot”?
Hey, it's Geena Davis' little sister!
Summary: Shelley Novak is tall! And she plays basketball! Amazing! She also doesn’t like having her picture taken, because she thinks she’s a freak. She’s not a freak, she’s just annoying. A guy named Jim wants to enter her photo in a contest (which Jeffrey is also entering), but Shelley refuses to let him. He does anyway, so of course Shelley gets mad. Jim retracts the photo, but then the magical Mr. Collins convinces Shelley to chill out, so she reenters the photo, which wins. Then there are some stupid communication issues, but they get resolved, and I’m sure we’ll never hear about these people again.
In the B plot, a bunch of people at SVH take ballroom lessons, and Jessica and Amy both “fall in love” with the teacher. They bet an entire outfit from Lisette’s that the teacher will dance with one of them at some dance, but the guy shows up with a date and clearly only thinks of them as silly teenage girls. Oh, and Jessica and Amy show up in the same dress.
Thoughts: Is Jeffrey seriously more excited about possibly getting his picture in the paper than he is about winning a video camera? Shut up, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey wants to use said camera to make movies of Elizabeth. I’d say ew, but we all know he wasn’t in any way thinking like that.
“You can’t fall in love and go on big luxurious cruises and be totally romantic unless you know how to waltz. I mean, really.” What’s it like to be Amy, I wonder?
Amy says Shelley looks like a beanpole. Five bucks says Amy doesn’t even know what a beanpole is.
July 9, 2010
SVH #50, Out of Reach: Jaded
Please tell me Jade's hair is pulled back and she doesn't have a mullet
Summary: Jade wants to dance, dance, dance! Her father doesn’t want her to. Ooh, conflict! Jade auditions for a dance solo in a school talent show, even though her dad has forbidden her to dance in public (just go with it), and she gets the role. She also catches the attention of a guy named David. He wants to go out with Jade, but she’s not allowed to date (her dad is anti anything fun). Instead of using her words like a big girl and explaining that her Chinese father has rules most parents in America don’t have, Jade just makes excuses for why she can’t go out with David.
To prove that she doesn’t dislike David because he’s poor, Jade tells him her biggest secret, that her grandparents run a laundry. She’s embarrassed by that because of the stereotype about Chinese people and laundries, which David has apparently never heard, since he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Amy, jealous of Jade for getting the solo she wanted (and totally racist, by the way), finds out about the laundry as well and spreads the news around school.
Somehow, Elizabeth gets involved (I know, shocker) and plays go-between for the lovebirds. And then some other stuff happens, but I got really bored, so I don’t remember it all. To sum it up, Jade dances in the show, her dad comes to see her and says he’s proud, David and Jade patch things up, and Jade gets offered a scholarship and the chance to dance in summer stock but turns it down because the woman putting up the money is a big ol’ racist. Happy ending, blah blah blah, we’ll probably never hear from these people again.
The completely stupid B plot revolves around the twins’ father, who’s feeling old since his 25-year high school reunion is approaching. Elizabeth and Jessica try to show him that being young isn’t that awesome, or something. Let’s just say Ned visits the Beach Disco and leave it at that.
Thoughts: Lila, re: Jade: “Jade’s American. Just because her father was born in China doesn’t mean she isn’t American.” Holy crap, Lila gets it!
Jade is tired of being seen as Chinese rather than American, but she wants to do a dance based on an old Chinese dance. Look, Jade, if you’re going to have layers, can they at least not conflict with each other?
According to Amy, Jade’s a prima donna because she insists on having water nearby when she’s practicing. Yes, proper hydration is usually a sign that one has a bad attitude. Which means Amy must be seriously dehydrated 24/7.
July 3, 2010
SVH #48, Slam Book Fever: A Fever for Which More Cowbell is Not an Appropriate Prescription
Amy has dead eyes. Smize, Amy!
Summary: Amy brings a fad to SVH called slam books – people keep lists of categories like best couple and biggest flirt, so they can see what their friends think of their classmates. Basically, it’s a way for people to anonymously hurt each other’s feelings. Jessica’s the first casualty when everyone names her the biggest flirt, so she decides to tone things down, especially since she’s interested in the new guy, A.J. Morgan, and doesn’t want him to think she’s vapid and silly.
Jeffrey’s been spending a lot of time with Olivia (who, by the way, recently broke up with Roger), helping her out with a new literary magazine, and when people start writing them down in the slam books as the best future couple, Elizabeth tries not to get jealous. That only works until Cara tells her she saw Olivia and Jeffrey getting a little closer than they should be. Elizabeth decides to get some revenge by flirting with A.J., not knowing that Jessica’s already fallen for him. Lila takes it upon herself to try to act as a go-between for Elizabeth and Jeffrey, but Elizabeth has already given up on the relationship.
Lila starts hanging out a lot with Jeffrey while Elizabeth hangs out with A.J., and no one’s exactly happy. Jessica and Olivia figure out that Lila’s not really working on fixing Jeffrey and Elizabeth’s relationship, but is instead trying to get him for herself, and they realize that she was probably the first person to write down Olivia and Jeffrey as the best future couple in order to cause trouble, break up Jeffrey and Elizabeth, and steal him. They share this info with Elizabeth, who makes up with Jeffrey, and the girls get some really lame revenge on Lila by calling her the class sneak in their slam books. Fortunately for Jessica, Elizabeth’s flirting with A.J. has actually worked out in her favor – he doesn’t like flirty girls, and instead wants to be with someone who’s kind of shy…like Jessica. Poor, naive A.J.
Thoughts: Elizabeth thinks Jeffrey’s in love with Olivia, and she decides to just let Olivia have him. Great, another doormat in Sweet Valley. She also doesn’t think she can just ask Jeffrey what was going on when Cara saw him with Olivia. Like Elizabeth’s ever been at a loss for words before.
Elizabeth also doesn’t think A.J.’s her type, but so far he seems pretty much like Todd 2.0.
Liz’s idea of flirting: “Come and buy me a hot dog. I’m absolutely starving.” Now we know why she doesn’t flirt very often.
I love how there’s a page in the back of the book encouraging readers to start their own slam books, even after they’ve just read a book about how much trouble they can cause. The series wants to turn us all into mean girls, it seems.
