April 27, 2013
BH90210 5.24, Unreal World: When People Stop Being Polite and Start Getting Yelly
I don’t even know where to start with this
Summary: Valerie has just gone on a shopping spree, but she probably should have held on to her money, because her account at the hotel has been cut off. At the beach apartment, Clare has thrown a little welcome-back lunch for Donna, who spent a few weeks at her parents’ house recovering from Garrett’s attempted rape. Felice is thankful that David was her hero and remarks that she almost wishes he were still living in the apartment. She also hopes that David and Donna will give things another try now that Ray’s gone. She doesn’t think David and Clare will last much longer.
Clare and David will be spending their weekend working on a class project – basically, it’s a documentary about real college students. (The title of this episode should give you a hint as to where they got this idea.) They run into one of the participants, who tells them his roommates don’t want to be a part of the project anymore, so they’re all dropping out. Clare’s mad because David was supposed to secure their participants and location. David calls her a control freak. She wishes she hadn’t signed on for a project where her grade depends on him.
Valerie meets with the hotel manager, who’s annoyed that she hasn’t paid her tab. Valerie’s annoyed that she’s being asked to pay her tab. She asks for a special rate, which he says she’s already getting. Then she tries to proposition him. He won’t budge. David gathers Kelly, Brandon, Donna, and Steve at the beach apartment so they can be four of the six “roommates” in the video. (Clare and David will be the other two.) David and Donna seem especially interested in the idea of spending 24 hours with each other.
Cindy calls Jim at work to let him know that Valerie has come crawling back to their house. Jim thinks they need to set some ground rules. Cindy’s just glad she’s back, and thinks that if they talk to her, she’ll be different this time. Clare does some late-night prep for the video, planning out the arguments the “roommates” will be having. David complains that she never uses any of his ideas. Clare casually wonders who arranged for David to play the character who has a crush on Donna’s character. He blows off the question, then says, “Good night, Donna.” Oops!
Brandon’s already in character when he gets up in the morning (he’s playing an annoying skater type). Jim’s distracted by trying to figure out why Valerie came back. He also smelled pot coming from her room. The other “roommates” start filming, but everyone is awful at acting. Then Steve takes a phone call and breaks character to announce that Celeste is getting married. Clare films him anyway, but when he realizes she’s capturing his real feelings, he goes back to his character.
Things are better over at Jesse and Andrea’s, so she decides to put her plan to tell him about Peter on hold. Over at the beach apartment, David (in a sweater vest and nerd glasses) watches Donna pretend to play the piano (which is actually a keyboard, and which would never sound like that). Then the real Tuck shows up, having gotten his roommates to change their minds about the project, and objects to Brandon’s portrayal of him. Brandon finds the whole thing hilarious. Meanwhile, Kelly eats a bunch of watermelon Steve spiked with vodka.
Dylan and Charlie work on their screenplay at the Peach Pit, and I’m happy to report that Dylan is no longer wearing suits. Valerie shows up (and <i>she’s</i> wearing a suit, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore) and invites them to a movie premiere. David and Donna film in her bedroom, and she gets a little shaken when she remembers what happened the last time they were in there together. David comforts her, and Clare sees him give her a quick kiss. The kiss almost turns into a lot more, but Donna puts on the brakes.
During a later scene, Clare gets jealous of David and Donna’s closeness, so she gets Steve to dance with her, then makes out with him. Kelly (drunk on watermelon) gets a call from Jackie reporting that she’s asked Mel to move back in. She rants at the guys for always letting women down. She brings up Brandon’s fling with Emily, David’s affair with Ariel, and Steve cheating on Celeste, adding that Ray probably had his own little thing on the side that Donna doesn’t know about. (Kelly’s psychic!)
Andrea and Jesse have a nice night in, happy that they’re finally having fun together. Dylan and Charlie go to the premiere, though Dylan doesn’t want to. Charlie just wants to check out Valerie and network. He runs into his former hypnotherapist (a consultant on the film), who inspired the screenplay he’s working on.
At the beach apartment David decides to put the project out of its misery. (Donna and Steve are now drunk on watermelon anyway.) Clare thinks David was just tired of seeing Donna flirt with someone else. She gets him to admit that he still loves her. He asks if she has feelings for anyone else; he thinks she’s still hung up on Brandon. Clare admits that this is true.
In her bedroom with Brandon, Kelly drunkenly brings up the night of the fire and asks straight-out if he slept with Emily. Brandon says they just kissed, assuring her that she can trust him. He starts to tell her he can see them spending the rest of their lives together, but she’s already passed out. Valerie gives Dylan a ride home from the premiere, and though he doesn’t want to invite her in at first, she changes his mind by promising that they’ll just keep things platonic. (She really means they’ll be friends with benefits.)
The non-drunk “roommates” discuss cheating and relationships that ended poorly. Brandon admits that when Emily came back to town, he realized he had feelings for both her and Kelly. David and Steve think Kelly also still loves Dylan, and he probably still loves her. Steve admits that if Kelly asked him to get back together, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Donna’s worried that her virginity will be the end of all of her relationships, like it was with her and David’s.
Kelly wakes up the next morning with a hangover and no memory past eating all the watermelon. (She does imply that she remembers the Emily conversation, though.) Jesse and Andrea are all smiles, but for some reason she thinks this is the right time to tell him about Peter. She’s been seeing a therapist who wants her to be honest. But before Andrea can come clean, Jesse tells her that he had a fling while he was out of town on an interview.
Donna and Steve discuss the previous night’s conversations, and he tries to make a move on her, which is really weird. David and Clare edit their film, and Clare says the real-life stuff is better than the character stuff. They start bickering, and they confront each other for their respective kisses with Donna and Steve. David’s mad that Clare keeps flirting with other guys right in front of him. Also, her expectations of people are too high, or something. They decide they’re done with each other.
Thoughts: A 20-page proposal for a 30-minute video? Claire is a control freak.
The suit epidemic has spread so far that David almost wears one to bed. This is like 28 Days Later, but fancier.
Donna’s fake British accent is hilarious.
Tuck is clearly based on Puck, and Steve’s character seems to be based on Jon from the L.A. season of The Real World, but I’m not sure who the others are supposed to be.
’90s music alert: “Dreams” by the Cranberries.
Drunk Kelly is kind of adorable.
Nooooo, Jesse, you weren’t supposed to be a jerk!
Now that she and David are over, can Clare please go away?
January 6, 2013
BH90210 5.2, Under the Influence: My Boyfriend’s Back and You’re Gonna Be in Trouble
The kids who did go to college registration are just going to end up doing this anyway
Summary: Jesse records the baby shower the gang (minus David and Dylan but plus Valerie) gives Andrea, full of frilly pink stuff. Steve praises Brandon for shaving his beard, and I second it. Donna announces that she won’t be going back to CU. Dylan’s at the bank, angry because his money’s all gone except for a savings bond. Outside the bank, he runs into Donna, who tells him she’s becoming a debutante at Christmas. She invites him to a benefit and he offers to buy a table. He doesn’t know it costs $2,500.
As Cindy loans Valerie her credit card, which can’t be a good idea, Josh bugs Brandon to be his running mate in the student elections. Brandon notes that Josh is the reason the previous administration had to resign; he uncovered the fact that they were taking school funds to furnish their apartment. Kelly calls to tell Brandon that Donna’s gone over the top in becoming a debutante. She’s even flying a guy out from Houston to escort her to the benefit. Oh, and Dylan’s back in town.
Their conversation is interrupted by Felice, who tells Kelly she’ll cover Donna’s rent because Donna will probably be moving out. Donna clarifies that she’ll probably be moving to Houston temporarily. Later, Kelly complains to Brandon about Donna’s life choices, which she thinks are her attempt to avoid David. Brandon thinks she’s just worked up over Dylan being back in town. He’s not too concerned about telling Dylan they’re dating, and even offers to take on the responsibility.
Donna takes her Houston friend, Travis, to the Peach Pit, where they have an awkward encounter with David. Brandon goes by Dylan’s house, where Dylan makes no secret of his alcohol relapse. He’s all sad and mopey, so Brandon decides it’s not a good time to tell him about his relationship with Kelly. Andrea and Jesse visit CU’s daycare, which Andrea is more excited about than Jesse is. Brandon tells Kelly he chickened out on telling Dylan about them. Meanwhile, Valerie prances around in her underwear with the bathroom door open, because she’s the opposite of subtle.
At the benefit, the Martins talk about Donna’s debut, making Kelly uncomfortable. Everyone meets D’Shawn, and he and Travis bug Donna to practice her “Texas dip,” the curtsy she’ll do at her debut. Kelly whispers to Brandon that high society has turned Donna into a “trained seal.” Cindy and Jim eat at the Peach Pit, and Jim complains that Valerie spent $300 on her dress for the benefit. Dylan comes in, and Nat tries to keep him from approaching the Walshes, who Dylan thinks are talking about him. They deny it, but he reminds them that it’s his restaurant and kicks them out.
Nat follows Dylan out, saying that Jim’s been great to him (I guess because of the karaoke?), so he’s allowed there whenever he wants. Dylan snarks that Nat should make Jim his partner. Nat thinks all of Dylan’s money has finally gone to his head. He also thinks Dylan’s mad that Kelly’s with Brandon now. Except Dylan didn’t know that. Oops!
Steve asks Brandon to put in a good word for him with Valerie (just one good word, though). Kelly confronts Donna about trying to avoid David, but Donna says she saw him earlier and it was fine. Kelly then asks if Donna’s doing the whole debutante thing to make Felice happy. D’Shawn notices that Donna’s upset and tries to cheer her up. She confides that she feels like a failure because of her breakup with David. He tells her she has a big fan club and she’s special even when she doesn’t feel her best. Everyone looks on as the two of them dance.
Brandon and Kelly are flirting and kissing when Dylan suddenly shows up to confront them. He taunts that he’s sure this isn’t just a physical relationship because Kelly’s not into that anymore. (Ouch!) The two guys posture and yell at each other until Felice asks Dylan to leave. Valerie’s surprised to finally encounter “Brenda’s Dylan.” Donna corrects that he’s “Kelly’s Dylan.” Dylan takes a swig of wine, blasts his so-called friends, and leaves.
He then heads to the club where Jesse tends bar, but Jesse won’t serve him since he’s underage. Dylan leaves with a woman, giving Jesse some money to give to a “real bartender.” At home, Valerie asks Brandon about Dylan, who she found “dashing,” despite his belligerence. Brandon warns her to stay away since Dylan’s an alcoholic. He does put in Steve’s good word, which Valerie says she’ll think about.
At the Martins’, Felice complains about Kelly’s inability to “control her impulses” (for kissing Brandon, because I guess he’s not responsible for that?), then reminds Donna to always remember who she is and what she represents. In other words, she shouldn’t have danced with D’Shawn. Donna awesomely says that it’s not her problem if someone’s offended by seeing her dance with a black guy. Felice says it’s the family’s problem, too, and Donna can’t be naïve if she wants to be a debutante.
Kelly goes to Dylan’s, but he’s busy with Eberlee, the woman from the club (they’ve been doing body shots). Kelly asks if they’re even yet. She says she came to apologize, but Dylan notes that it’s 2 a.m., so that can’t be the only reason she’s there. She tells him they’re definitely over. The next day, Dylan’s everyone’s topic of conversation, including Cindy and Steve when he comes by to take Valerie to CU for registration. Brandon has no sympathy for Dylan, telling him he can’t treat Kelly the way he did the night before. He apologizes for not saying anything about their relationship. He thinks Dylan also owes someone an apology.
In the world’s most boring subplot, Andrea takes Hannah to daycare but worries she’ll miss something important in Hannah’s life. Dylan and Donna both end up at the beach apartment and commiserate over seeing someone they care about with someone else. Donna feels like she could have done something different. Dylan assures her that David’s affair wasn’t her fault. He agrees to meet her at registration so they can face their exes together. Speaking of registration, Brandon and Kelly run into someone familiar there: Clare is enrolled at CU, and her AP credits gave her a year’s worth of credits, so she’s a sophomore.
Brandon tells Josh he’s decided to take him up on his request to run for student government. Andrea’s changed her mind about daycare, so I guess Hannah will be auditing classes with her. Donna runs into David again, and he asks if her return to CU means she forgives him. (Um…what?) She points out that it’s a big campus and wishes him a good semester. Then she asks Kelly for her old room back. She tells Kelly that Dylan’s supposed to come to registration, but instead, he’s playing pool and drinking beer.
Thoughts: Brandon teases Kelly for making a sandwich after a benefit planning meeting, which is a horrible thing to do to THE GIRL WHO HAD AN EATING DISORDER. Shut up, Brandon.
David’s hair makes him look like Vanilla Ice on crack.
Maybe Andrea should take a semester off before going back to school? I mean, Hannah literally got out of the hospital days ago. Andrea could use a break.
Andrea: Blah blah, this daycare is awesome. Jesse: “Then why is that baby crying?” Me: “Because babies cry.” Andrea: “Because babies cry.” Me: “Oh, crap, I’m on the same wavelength as Andrea.”
Donna’s dress at the benefit looks like a wedding gown. Also, hello, Tori Spelling’s cleavage.
When Dylan goes to the club, there’s an extra standing in the background, not moving, just staring straight ahead. It’s creepy.
Eberlee? What?
January 2, 2013
BH90210 5.1, What I Did on My Summer Vacation and Other Stories: New Girl
She looks cute. He looks skeevy
Summary: Cindy’s straightening up Brenda’s room before she and Jim go to the airport. She calls Brandon, who spent the night at Kelly’s with his ugly beard and doesn’t want to talk to his mother. Apparently only the Walshes and Andrea know about this new relationship. Brandon offers to break up with Kelly so they don’t have to tell anyone else. After some more making out, Brandon meets his parents at the airport, where they run into David, his earrings, and his gross hair. Brandon tells him that Brenda’s staying in London for the school year, but someone will be using her room.
Before we can find out who it is, we pay a visit to Dylan, who’s on a Mexican beach, looking homeless. He’s also drinking a beer, so we know things are bad. On the plus side, his Spanish is very good. Back in Beverly Hills, Kelly and Donna run into each other at a salon, but it’s clear they’re not on speaking terms. From a flashback, we learn that they had a big fight over David’s fling with Ariel. Their hairdressers magically get them to make up simply by putting them in chairs next to each other. P.S. Donna is totally over David.
Kelly gives a little exposition on the new girl, Valerie, whose flight is delayed. Brandon and Jim don’t care since airport TVs show football. More exposition: Brandon hasn’t seen Valerie since they were 14, and she lives in Buffalo. Cindy asks him to keep quiet about “what she’s been through over the past few months.” Brandon decides to meet Steve when his plane comes in from Hawaii. Steve has befriended Howie Long, and some kid (also named Steve) thinks Steve is Troy Aikman. Howie used to fantasize about Samantha as a kid (how old is she, anyway?). Steve went to Hawaii with Celeste, but she dumped him for another guy. He’s fine with it, though, because he wants Kelly back.
Andrea’s daughter is about to go home from the hospital after being there for three months. She was supposed to go home a month earlier, and Andrea’s family and friends had planned a big celebration. Andrea thought something was wrong and refused to leave, which turned out to be a good thing because Hannah stopped breathing. She’s fine now, and Andrea has learned to follow her instincts.
At the beach apartment, David shows Kelly the video he made for a TV production class. It serves as a recap for us of his summer activities, which included almost going to Japan with Babyface, getting dumped by Ariel, and winding up with crabs. But now he has a car and his own dorm room. Nat plays David’s professor and gives him an A+ so David can get off of academic probation. “It is smart to be smart!” David says. He actually got an A-, but he also got an invitation to work at the campus TV station.
Kelly bugs David to go to the barbecue the Walshes are throwing for Valerie, but he doesn’t want to run into Donna. Brandon calls and confirms that Kelly hasn’t told anyone about their relationship. He warns her that Steve is convinced that she’s his true love. Kelly isn’t worried; he always does this and she knows how to handle him. The only person she’s worried about is Dylan. Speaking of Señor Mopey, he owes a lot of money to a guy named Juarez, and Juarez says it’s time to pay up. But Dylan doesn’t have the money – Suzanne and Kevin took it all. Juarez asks for his watch as collateral.
Steve brings Kelly a lei (insert your own lei/lay joke here) and tries to get close to her, but Brandon interrupts. The two guys posture over which one of them gets to take Kelly to the barbecue. Finally Steve figures out what’s going on. Kelly offers to make it up to him by introducing him to all the new Alpha pledges. Brandon thinks he should meet Valerie, but Steve notes that she’s from Buffalo, and the Bills lost three Super Bowls in a row.
At the Walshes’ house, everyone meets Valerie Malone, who just transferred to CU from Bayside High. She’s all sweet and bubbly, and Steve is definitely interested. She plays basketball with the guys as Cindy tells Donna that the Malones were the Walshes’ best friends in Minnesota. She wonders where David is, and Kelly announces that he’s not coming. She accidentally lets slip to Donna that she went to Minnesota with the Walshes, and Donna figures out that she and Brandon are dating.
Kelly continues with a flashback to a dinner at the Walshes’ which was interrupted by a call from Valerie’s mother, Abby. Valerie’s father Victor committed suicide the night before. Donna promises to keep quiet. After dessert, Steve wants to show Valerie around town, and the kids decide to go to the club where Jesse tends bar. Steve dances with Valerie, who seems to have taken an interest in Brandon (or maybe Kelly?). Elsewhere, Dylan drinks and listens to his messages and learns that Brenda’s staying in London, despite having told him she wouldn’t be there forever. Also, Iris is mad that he lost all his money.
Andrea calls Jesse at work, and he passes the phone off to Donna. By the way, Andrea’s breastfeeding during this scene, which, thanks, show. Donna spots David with another girl, freaks out, and splits. Later, Brandon takes Kelly home to the beachfront apartment, but she can’t convince him to spend the night. He wants to be home for Valerie’s first night in the Walshes’ house, for some reason. “I wish you weren’t so sexy,” Kelly says. I barf forever. Steve and Valerie wait for Brandon in the car, flirting (badly) and almost kissing.
At home, Cindy’s reading Anna Karenina as an excuse to wait up for Brandon and Valerie. She’s grateful to Jim for agreeing to let Valerie live with them. When the kids get home, everyone’s all shiny happy family. On the phone with Kelly, Donna (who’s at her parents’ house) asks if David still has feelings for her. Kelly’s distracted and thinks someone’s watching her. That’s because Dylan’s staring at her creepily from some tall structure.
Brandon and Valerie run into each other in their shared bathroom and talk a little about Brenda. Then Valerie heads to her new room and immediately drops her bubbly, happy act. She calls her friend Ginger and complains about Beverly Hills. She thinks Steve is dumb but she could get some use out of his credit cards. She also plans to keep up her happy act for Cindy and Jim. Oh, and she likes pot.
Thoughts: There’s an episode of Saved by the Bell: The College Years where Brian Austin Green does a cameo as himself, and Kelly gushes about how cute he is. Ironic, no?
I don’t get Kelly and Brandon together. I just…don’t.
Wow, Howie Long is tall. And his presence in this episode was so pointless.
Why does Jesse tend bar in a tux?
Donna should have stuck around to see David dance. Then she really would have gotten over him.
October 27, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.14, Clean and Sober: Kiss and Tell
That’s right. You two be happy. You deserve it
Summary: Pacey and Jack are at an electronics store, drooling over a huge TV. Joey thinks Emma will freak out when they bring it home. She also thinks Pacey should spend his newfound wealth on something more practical. However, she’s proud of him for becoming so successful. He’s a little worried that he’s strayed too far from the person he used to be. Joey says he was always just waiting to realize his potential. Speaking of guys realizing their potential, she’s in need of cheering up now that Eddie’s gone, so she’ll be attending a party at Pacey’s that night.
Jen also disapproves of the large TV, because she’s a girl, and girls just don’t appreciate those sorts of things. But David likes it because he’s a guy, and all guys like big-screen TVs. Jen wonders why Pacey’s having a party after having lived in the apartment for months. She warns that she’ll be bringing C.J., who Pacey last saw when he punched him. Emma comes home and insults the TV, because…well, she’s a girl. The guys are shocked to hear that the guy she’s brought with her, a schlub named Gus, is her fiancé.
Dawson visits Audrey in rehab to deliver some reading materials; she’s already read the Bible. He does not, however, deliver her requested Nyquil. He tells her he’s been living in Todd’s guesthouse and has bad news: Their movie is going straight to cable. Todd probably won’t be directing anything else anytime soon, which means Dawson’s career is at a standstill. Audrey isn’t very sympathetic. Dawson recognizes another rehab patient as Toni Stark, a huge producer. Audrey wants some attention but eventually agrees to help Dawson stalk Toni.
Jen takes C.J. to the party, not telling him who the host is until they’re at the apartment door and it’s too late for him to back out. Joey asks Pacey for “something fruity and mind-numbing” to drink, then chastises him when he gives her a judgmental look. He tells her he’s heard her life hasn’t been great lately, but he’s sure things will start looking up. Joey says she’s always been the reliable one, but she’s going to let other people clean up messes from now on. She adds some more booze to her drink so she can loosen up a little.
Later, Joey talks to David about Jack, letting him in on what Jack was like when they were in high school. Meanwhile, Dawson gets to talk to Toni, who seems pretty taken with him. He strikes out when he tries to talk to her about the movie business. Back at the party, Jen tells David she’s not drinking at the party since C.J.’s sober. He tells her C.J. doesn’t mind when other people drink around him. Pacey assures Jen that he and C.J. have made up, and Pacey even offered him a drink. Jen’s surprised that C.J. didn’t turn it down.
He’s currently talking to a tipsy Joey, who tells him that Jen killed Abby: “Killed her with champagne.” Pacey quickly gets her away from him, taking her to his room. She realizes that all of their friends are working out their relationships, but she’s single again. She thinks the guys she likes always find something or someone better than her. Pacey says she should think of it as her making the guys want to be better men. Joey teases that he’s still not over her, reminding him what Audrey said about them at Christmas. “That must suck,” she says.
There’s some drunken revelry, and Emma and Jack wind up talking about how she’s left school because the band is doing so well. (Even with a screwed-up lead singer? Really?) Gus isn’t in school either, and plans to be the band’s roadie. Jack questions the speed of their engagement. Emma tells him it’s going fast on purpose: Her visa’s for school, and now that she’s not in school anymore, she needs to get married to stay in the country. Oh, and Gus will be moving in and will be allowed to sleep with anyone he wants. Jack tries to escape, but Emma won’t let him leave.
Dawson and Audrey keep up the stalking, with her encouraging him to keep making a fool of himself if it means getting his big break. She gets him to follow Toni into a therapy session. In Boston, Pacey and Jack commiserate over the possibility of having to live with Gus. Jack thinks that if Gus is going to marry someone he doesn’t love, he’s given up hope. Jen questions C.J.’s drinking, which he says he’s only doing to be nice. He doesn’t really appreciate her telling Pacey he abstains. C.J. feels like he’s been too hard on himself, but he hasn’t even had a sip yet. He suspects that Jen is looking for reasons for their relationship to fail.
Audrey tells the therapist and other participants that her name is Pinkie (a ferret bit off her pinkie toe when she was ten, which is why she drinks). She and Dawson are married, have two kids, and may also be cousins. Dawson plays along but gets her to talk about her actual problems. Audrey appreciates that he never judged her and always came back to help her. He tells her he just wanted to wait for her to hit rock bottom. Toni calls them out for their lies, so Dawson takes advantage of the revelation to ask her to look at his reel (which he…brought with him?).
At the party, the kids wind up playing Spin the Bottle, because they’re still 14, apparently. It’s Joey’s idea, but she immediately regrets it when Gus spins and lands on her. She declares a new rule: No tongue. Jen says anything’s fair game, and Joey shouldn’t mess with her because Jen has “killed before.” Instead of a kiss, Gus licks Joey’s cheek. Joey kisses Jack, Jack kisses Emma, Emma kisses Jen, and Jen kisses C.J. for a long, long time. They head off to do more than kissing and Joey tells them they have to come back, since they’re not playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. Jack teases that she just wants to kiss Jen.
Pacey takes over the spinning, landing on Joey. Before he can kiss her, Gus breaks the TV, earning Pacey’s wrath. Emma quickly jumps in to announce that the wedding is off. “Wanna play Sardines?” Joey asks before passing out. At rehab, Audrey admits to Dawson that the therapy session was more helpful than she led on. She also had a great time with him, and appreciated not having to talk about her problems. She tells him to go back to L.A. before he lets himself get too un-self-absorbed. Audrey also admits to being scared of going back to her real life because of the way she left things with everyone.
David teases Jack about his past relationship with Joey and about how he’s been kissing girls all night. He asks to see some of Jack’s artwork. They chat about Emma, and David points out that her problem isn’t Jack’s to solve – unless, of course, he wants to marry her. Jen and C.J. are in the bedroom, post-coitus, and she tells him he’s perfectly able to make decisions about his own life. He just wants to get past all their drama and make Jen happy. Jen was trying to do the same, and she’d rather talk with C.J., sober, than get drunk and make trouble like she used to. But she also doesn’t want to give him a false impression of who she is.
Jack and Emma clean up after the party, and he tells her it would probably be better for her to go back to England than to get into a loveless marriage. He casually remarks that he would be the perfect husband. She jokes that they should get married, but he’s actually serious about it. He notes that they already live together. Emma says she picked Gus because she wouldn’t have to worry about hurting his feelings. She wouldn’t feel right taking advantage of Jack.
Pacey puts Joey in his bed and tells her he’s glad she had a good time. As she falls asleep, he admits that she was right: He never did get over her. Joey says there’s something they never did, then kisses him.
Thoughts: Did they name Toni Stark after Iron Man on purpose?
The word “broad” has been used three times in the last two episodes. Did someone make a bet about how many times he or she could get the word in the script?
Drunk Joey makes me happy.
I swear the writers forgot about Jack being an artist (Joey, too) until this episode.
October 6, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.12, All the Right Moves: Party Time! Excellent!
This is probably not good
Summary: Joey, Jen (who got a horrible haircut), Pacey, and Jack are hanging out at Hell’s Kitchen when Audrey arrives, seeing them for the first time since Christmas. She apologizes for her behavior over the past few months and for not letting them help her. She tells them about the party she went to in Malibu that she saw Dawson after, and how she finally realized that she’s the problem, not anyone else. Her friends welcome her back happily.
The next day, Joey and Emma ogle the new bartender at Hell’s Kitchen and discuss Eddie. Joey downplays their relationship and Emma buys it. She asks Joey to clean out Eddie’s locker while she heads out to band practice. At work, Rich tells Pacey and his coworkers that Stepatech Industries is about to go through the roof, so they should encourage their clients to buy. He then invites Pacey to a party at the house of Roger Stepavich, the Step of Stepatech. Rich just wants to make sure Pacey’s committed to his job. Pacey promises he is.
Emma and the rest of Hell’s Belles inform Audrey that they’re replacing her as lead singer. They need someone fast since they have a big gig coming up. Audrey understands but promises that she’s giving up her drinking and “general mayhem” because they’ve cost her the life she wanted to have. The Belles agree to give her another chance. Joey cleans out Eddie’s locker and finds a bunch of short stories he submitted for publication that were rejected.
The Belles have a great sound check for their gig, after which Audrey is approached by a guy from another band (Satan’s Tampon, heh) who invites her to a party on a tour bus. Joey helps Harley with her homework, then chats with her about Eddie’s disappearance. Harley encourages her to play detective and find him. Joey mentions finding the manuscript, which had Eddie’s parents’ address in Worcester on it. Harley tells her to at least call and see if he’s there. Joey does, and Eddie himself answers, but Joey panics and hangs up.
At Stepavich’s party, Pacey strikes up a conversation with a woman who claims to know his reputation as an up-and-coming broker. She wonders why he’s not in college if he’s so smart. He tells her he enjoys the adrenaline (and money) involved in his job. She heads off without telling him her name. Hetson goes to Hell’s Kitchen looking for Harley, who he thinks is there with Joey. He’s finally realized that she’s as much of a troublemaker as people keep telling him. Harley then arrives with a guest she picked up in Worcester: Eddie.
Audrey goes to the party on the tour bus, admitting to the guy who invited her that this will be her first sober gig. He offers her a drink, and at first she declines, but she’s nervous enough to change her mind. He also offers her a pill. Back at Hell’s Kitchen, Joey gives Eddie the cold shoulder while Hetson “punishes” Harley by making her have dinner with him. Eddie tells Joey that he came back to help her with the “problem” Harley told him about: Joey’s pregnancy. Joey clears up that Harley lied about that.
Eddie spots his manuscript and guesses that Joey sent Harley after him when she found it. He also knows that she’s the one who called his house and hung up. She blasts him for leaving town without telling her, adding that now that she’s solved the mystery, he can go. She thinks he just wanted an easy out. Eddie tells her it was the hardest thing he’s ever done, then leaves. Joey follows him out, now deciding she wants an answer. He admits that he couldn’t face her because he was ashamed of being unemployed and getting evicted. She may be poor, but she has a future.
Eddie continues that he punched Hetson because he knew Hetson was right about him being a failure. Joey reminds him that his rejection letter said he had promise. Eddie doesn’t think that was sincere. He wants Joey to be with someone better than him – she can have whatever she wants in life. She says she wanted him. Eddie disagrees, saying she wanted the person she thought he was in their English class. Then he leaves for real.
Audrey’s still drinking right up until she takes the stage with Hell’s Belles. Meanwhile, Pacey and his nameless woman do some eye-flirting before Pacey meets Roger Stepavich. He’s surprised to learn that Rich wants him to take over Stepatech’s account. Pacey doesn’t think he’s ready for the promotion but accepts.
Harley apologizes to Joey for getting involved in her and Eddie’s relationship; Joey forgives her but asks her not to make up any more pregnancy stories. She’s mostly upset that Eddie won’t fulfill his potential as a writer. Harley suggests that she show them to Hetson. Joey’s skeptical but does it. Hetson refuses to read the stories, mostly because Eddie hit him. Harley takes the stories with her and promises Joey she’ll try again.
Audrey ruins the Belles’ performance by sucking, stage-diving, having an acid trip, and passing out. Once she’s feeling better, Emma kicks her out of the band and sends her home. Hetson returns to Hell’s Kitchen to retrieve the backpack Harley “forgot”; he’s already read a couple of Eddie’s stories and agrees that he does have some potential. He thinks Eddie could even get into a writing workshop, but he would need Hetson’s recommendation. Hetson himself won’t talk to him, though, so Joey will have to.
As Pacey leaves the party, the nameless woman approaches him again and suggests that he ask himself if his promotion isn’t too good to be true. Audrey heads to her dorm room and starts to drink some more but winds up pouring out the rest of her alcohol. Joey goes to Worcester to give Eddie back his manuscript and tell him about the workshop. He doesn’t think there’s any point since he’s not that great, but Joey wants him to try. He can be a coward about their relationship, but he shouldn’t be a coward about his life.
Joey starts to leave, then changes her mind since she knows that’s what Eddie wants her to do. She reminds him that he once told her to take chances, which is the opposite of what he’s doing now. He’s afraid of living his life. Eddie agrees and kisses her. Joey tells him that’s the wrong answer – it’s too late for them. She starts to leave again, but he pulls her back and tells her he loves her and doesn’t want it to be too late. Joey says she loves him, too, but she leaves anyway. Back at Worthington, she tries to wake Audrey but can’t.
Thoughts: Heh. All the Right Moves is a Tom Cruise movie. Hee hee hee.
The nameless woman is played by Sarah Shahi, who now has her own show on USA, Fairly Legal.
Stepavich is played by Ray Wise, who has been in so many things I can’t even begin to list them. But he may be best known for Twin Peaks, which he was in with Dana Ashbrook (Rich).
Roger Howarth eating buffalo wings with a huge napkin tucked into his collar = comedy.
Trivia: Pacey’s middle initial is J.
I hope Michelle Williams and Kerr Smith enjoyed their single scene in this episode. Though it was one more than James Van Der Beek got.
September 22, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.10, Merry Mayhem: Would You Please Pass the Bitterness?
Who sat the cop next to the ex-con?
Summary: Joey voices over some lame story about how happy she is while she and Eddie wander around downtown and talk about their likes and dislikes. She notes that they have nothing in common. He doesn’t care since the sex is awesome. Joey asks him to come to Capeside with her for Christmas, immediately realizing she’s jumped over a few relationship steps. But she still wants him to come and help her convince Bessie to get a real tree. Eddie also thinks they might be moving too quickly.
Later, as Joey packs for break, Audrey returns to the room, having missed her flight home. Joey knocks her for drinking in the airport lounge, commenting that Audrey could spend next semester in rehab. Audrey can’t get another flight until the next day (which happens to be Christmas), so Joey invites her to come to Capeside. Everyone will be at the Leerys’, which Joey predicts will be disastrous. Audrey doesn’t want to be a charity case or go back to boring Capeside. Joey won’t take no for an answer, winning Audrey over with the offer of getting to meet her father.
Pacey makes a surprise visit to Doug’s house and presents him with both gifts and gay jokes. Todd and Natasha are at Gail’s with Dawson, and Gail is very curious as to where Dawson and Natasha’s relationship is going. Dawson himself doesn’t know, noting that this is the first relationship he’s been in that he couldn’t define or predict. In other news, Todd wants to sleep with Gail. Also, Lily is suddenly blonde, but no one else is concerned, so I won’t be either.
Everyone does Christmas Eve things, and then Alexander wakes Joey up early on Christmas morning. Before they can open presents, Mike tells Joey that she has a visitor – it’s Eddie, and he’s brought a tree. Later, a tipsy Audrey tells Mike that Eddie is a combination of Dawson and Pacey’s best qualities, making him “the T-1000 of love interests.” Then she asks for stories about Mike’s time in prison.
Joey teases Eddie about changing his mind about coming to Capeside, then goes in to help Bessie in the kitchen. This is mostly so Mike can have a man-to-man talk with his daughter’s boyfriend. Eddie has to admit that he’s uneducated and unemployed, so maybe he has more than just Pacey and Dawson’s good qualities.
Speaking of Dawson, he’s wistful about Joey but stuck with Natasha, who wants to have sex in his childhood bedroom. He’d rather talk about Max Winter. Specifically, he wants to talk about how she told him she’d spend the evening alone, but wound up entertaining Max instead. Dawson wants to know where their relationship is going. Natasha says they’re just having fun.
Dawson notes that she was pretty jealous of Joey, which doesn’t fit with “just having fun.” She accuses him of bringing her home for Christmas to show her off. She warns that one day he’ll regret not having sex with her in his childhood room when he had the chance. But that’s what he gets for thinking with his brain instead of parts more southern.
Eddie and the Potters head to the Leerys’, Eddie trying to assure Joey that he won’t be getting into anything with Dawson. They agree to get through dinner and then go spend time with Eddie’s family. He promises that his family is less intimidating than hers, leading Joey to ask if Mike was rude. (She should probably be more concerned over whether he tried to recruit Eddie to sell drugs with him, knowing Mike’s past.)
Pacey and Doug arrive next, discussing the expensive presents Pacey got for their family. Doug’s worried that his brother’s new job isn’t completely legit. Pacey says Doug could just be proud of him for once. He thinks Doug’s jealous of his new wealth. Doug says he’s just worried. Before dinner, Audrey takes some pills from the medicine cabinet and shows up blitzed as Jen and Grams arrive (Jack’s in Europe with Andie and Mr. McPhee).
Todd (also drunk) says grace, refining his British accent to make a good impression on his fellow dinner guests. He finds Jen familiar and she reminds him that they met on a plane. (She assures everyone that they didn’t sleep together.) “Where was I?” he wonders. “Oh, yes, the birth of Christ.” He thanks God for Gail, then sings Dawson’s praises, declaring his love for him.
Todd continues that Dawson’s gotten himself involved in a sexual relationship with Natasha; this reminds Todd of his first movie, when he slept with an underage girl. Dawson finally gets Todd to shut up. Mike also praises Dawson, then asks Todd if he could find Eddie a job. Joey tells her father to shut up. Audrey asks Mike why he doesn’t think Eddie’s good enough for Joey. “This isn’t going to end well,” Pacey remarks.
Audrey isn’t happy about Pacey butting in, and Jen gets yelled at as well when she tries to get Audrey to quiet down. Jen says she thinks Audrey has a problem. Audrey asks if Jen’s still upset that she slept with C.J. She admits to being high, so Gail tries to get her to go lie down. Audrey would rather stay and blast everyone for being hypocrites.
For starters, Dawson and Pacey still hate each other and should stop trying to pretend they’ll ever fix things. Joey and Dawson keep acting like they’re okay with the other’s new relationships, but the truth is that they finally slept together but never dealt with it. They need to deal with everything before they can really move on. Audrey blasts Pacey for never being able to commit because Joey (“Audrey Hepburn”) broke his heart, telling him to grow up.
Audrey wishes the “scumsuckers” a Merry Christmas, grabs some keys, and leaves. Despite the fact that she’s clearly under the influence, no one even attempts to stop her as she gets in Pacey’s new BMW and promptly crashes it into the house. (And I mean she drives it right into the living room.) “I kind of think I zagged when I should have zigged,” she says.
Outside Pacey begs Doug not to arrest Audrey; he wants to try to help her on his own. Doug thinks it would be better for Audrey to get in trouble. Pacey pleads with him to “make it go away” and blame Pacey for what happened. Doug remarks that Pacey has made himself over but is still the same person, looking for a quick fix. He warns that Audrey’s now free to drink and drive again. Doug continues that he was proud of Pacey when he was a chef because there was something honest and noble about it. “Guess it didn’t suit you, did it?” he asks.
Jen offers to call Audrey’s parents, but Audrey is adamantly against that idea. Jen asks why she’s so angry. Audrey taunts that Jen can stop trying to impress C.J. “Pretend that I’m too far gone,” she says. She’s tired of people saying they want to help because it took them until tonight to realize how far gone she is.
Dawson catches Natasha trying to sneak out, and she admits that she slept with Max. Again, she thought she and Dawson were just having sex and having fun. She didn’t think they would make it long after the movie wrapped anyway. Dawson realizes he doesn’t love her either, which Natasha already knew. She thinks they’re both too young for such a serious relationship. She heads back to L.A., advising Dawson to check on Todd, who’s passed out in the bathroom.
Eddie’s also on his way out, but he doesn’t want Joey to come with him anymore. He thinks she needs to stay in Capeside and deal with everything that happened at dinner. He knows Mike has a point in not thinking Eddie’s the best guy for Joey. Eddie wants to stay in the present, not deal with issues from past relationships. Joey promises that they’ll do that from now on. He says that if she met his family, they’d wonder why she’s with him, too. They’d think she’ll wind up breaking his heart.
Joey and Dawson end up together by the water, much more lighthearted about the evening’s events than they should be. She admits that she keeps trying to forget that they were ever close. They both think the evening put things into perspective. Joey knows that Dawson will always be there for her if she needs him, but she can’t figure out why they keep hurting each other.
Dawson notes that they’re not hurting each other right now. Joey says it’s just a truce – an illusion. But she’ll take it, if it means she can temporarily forget what happened to get them where they are. They can go back to hating each other in the morning. Dawson agrees, but both of them admit that they don’t really hate each other.
Thoughts: Alexander is adorable. And he calls Joey “Auntie Joey,” which makes him even cuter.
So suddenly the Potters are all one big, happy family? Why didn’t we get to see Joey and Mike work through their issues? I feel cheated.
Who invited Doug to the Leerys’? It’s not like he’s friends with Gail or anything. And I’m sure he and Mike were thrilled to have to hang out together.
In Todd’s defense, Gail does look very pretty in this episode.
So Audrey’s drunk and high, but when she leaves, no one goes after her or at least makes sure she doesn’t drive. Scumsuckers indeed.
How disappointing that Bessie, Grams, and Bodie are all in this episode but don’t get to say or do anything.
September 3, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.7, Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell: You’d Drink, Too, If You Had to Put Up With These People
Be careful, Pacey – her vampire husband won’t like this
Summary: Eddie’s working at Hell’s Kitchen, and Joey’s about to head to campus for class. They start talking about Capeside, which Eddie isn’t surprised to hear is her hometown, since he thinks she’s a snobby rich girl. She tells him she’ll be back that night so they can flirt more. Er, I mean listen to Emma and Audrey’s band, Hell’s Belles.
Jen asks Jack how things are going with David, asking to tag along when they meet up in the cafeteria after class. She thinks C.J. will be there. Jack gently tries to convince her to give up already. Professor Freeman informs his class that his book has been published and he’ll be moving to Chicago after the semester. Jack’s surprised by the news.
Audrey looks for clothes for her gig, finally telling Joey that she and Pacey broke up on Halloween. She thought Pacey would tell Joey first, despite the fact that she and Joey live together. David casually asks Jack out, and Jack casually accepts, leading Jen to comment that gay guys are so much less dramatic than straight ones. She wants to ask C.J. to come with them to see Hell’s Belles that night. David tells her that C.J. doesn’t date.
C.J. shows up and Jen asks him to the show anyway. Freeman shows up, pulling Jack outside to gauge his reaction to Freeman’s departure. He doesn’t want to feel like he’s taken away the college experience Jack deserves. (What? Shut up, Freeman.) Freeman asks him to attend a reading he’s holding that night. Jack says he’ll think about it.
Pacey has passed his broker exam, and Rich is taking him and some other new brokers to New Orleans for the night. After some stock footage of the city, the brokers are there, and Pacey’s quickly striking out with hot women. Rich teases him about it, but Pacey says he’s not bringing his A game. He knows women like a sensitive man anyway. Rich notes that he’s done pretty well without being sensitive.
Back at Hell’s Kitchen, Joey and Eddie discuss Cheers (you know, ’cause they work in a bar) as Audrey flirts with a bunch of guys and gets ready for the show by drinking. Jack winds up at the reading, where Freeman tells him his wife isn’t moving with him to Chicago. Meanwhile, Jen and C.J. meet up at Hell’s Kitchen, but he’s more concerned about Audrey (who he thinks is depressed) than getting to know Jen. Jack calls David to tell him he’ll be late to Hell’s Kitchen.
Rich hits on a woman named Denise with some supremely cheesy lines before straight-out telling her he wants to grope her. She tells him she’d like to castrate him, so that’s awesome. Rich leaves but Pacey hangs back to try out his sensitive-guy thing. Joey tries to ask Eddie to do something after he’s off work, but they’re interrupted by Audrey looking for another drink. Eddie tells her she’s cut off, but Joey sides with Audrey, saying it’s no big deal. Eddie won’t budge.
Audrey starts yelling at Eddie, asking what it’s like for him to know his only other job option is janitor. Joey suddenly feels bad for siding with her. Audrey breaks a bottle, but before she can become even more of a mess, Emma pulls her off to start to show. Fortunately, Audrey’s one of those singers who performs perfectly fine while drunk. Unfortunately, she starts to get wild and breaks a bunch of stuff.
After the show, Audrey gets sick in the bathroom while Joey takes care of her. She wants to know how much Audrey drank, but Audrey doesn’t remember. Joey tries to get her to talk about why she drank. Audrey tells her she’s being self-righteous; she never lets loose like Audrey does. Their friends are boring, and Joey’s obviously not a very good friend if she didn’t know about Audrey and Pacey’s breakup. Audrey makes fun of Eddie, and only then does Joey object.
Freeman talks to Jack more after the reading, telling him he was right about a lot of things he said over the semester. Jack thinks it’s sad that so many students like Freeman and are inspired by him, but Freeman felt like he needed to hide his sexuality. However, Jack’s glad he’s finally gotten to the point where he can be more open. Freeman wishes he’d done so sooner, and noticed Jack sooner. Jack tells him the timing was wrong, and he needs to go meet David, since the timing with him is right.
At Hell’s Kitchen, Jen tells C.J. that she’s surprised at Audrey’s change of behavior; Audrey was always the most confident of their friends. C.J. tells her about his past as a partier with friends who didn’t care about his wellbeing. He doesn’t date because of his past screw-ups. Jen thinks he’s being too hard on himself. In New Orleans, Pacey takes Denise back to his hotel room to…play checkers, I’m sure.
Eddie cleans up Hell’s Kitchen while Joey apologizes for the way the evening went. He points out that it wasn’t her fault, telling her she’s wasting her time talking to him anyway. He’s not sure if he’s talking to his work buddy Joey or the elite college Joey. He doesn’t exactly appreciate the people she spent the evening with, or the fact that Joey didn’t defend him to Audrey. Eddie made a mistake thinking Joey was different from her classmates. The flirting needs to stop because there’s nothing there.
Denise and Pacey’s clothes start to come off, and she asks if this is his first time, since most guys don’t bother with foreplay. Also, she’d like to speed things up because Rich only paid her for a certain amount of time. That’s right: Denise is a hooker, and Rich hired her for Pacey. What a classy guy! Pacey puts the brakes on sex and runs off to confront his boss.
C.J. and Jen leave Hell’s Kitchen while David stays to wait for Jack. Jen’s happy that C.J. came out since she wasn’t sure if he would want to. She reminds him that he once told her to change her mind about herself. She thinks he should do the same for himself. She starts to kiss him, but C.J. says he can’t go out with her. Jen pretends she’s totally find with the rejection.
After Jen leaves in a cab, C.J. crosses the street to chat with Audrey, who thinks he’s going to chastise her for smoking. She notes that everything was great when she was drunk; now that she’s sober, everything sucks. He tells her that her friends are worried about her. Audrey doesn’t think her drinking is a big deal; she’s in college, after all. She only does it to keep from feeling. C.J. asks how long she plans to keep that up. Audrey says she doesn’t know.
Pacey finds Rich and yells at him for hiring Denise. Rich insults him for not closing the deal with her, especially since she was so expensive. Pacey blasts him for being so unemotional about everything. He doesn’t want to be Rich’s charity project anymore. Rich replies that Pacey owes him. Pacey attacks him, but their coworkers separate them. Rich asks when Pacey will realize that “fighting the good fight’s not worth it.”
Jack finally makes it to Hell’s Kitchen as David’s leaving. David doesn’t want to get into a relationship with someone who still has a connection to an ex. Jack assures him that he just wanted to make sure he’s not repeating past mistakes. He can’t believe David waited for him all night. David fills him in on the evening’s activities.
The next morning, Pacey walks down an empty New Orleans street alone while Joey wakes up to see that Audrey didn’t come home. Eddie comes by to return Audrey’s wallet, which she left at Hell’s Kitchen, and makes more remarks about Joey being a rich girl in a nice dorm. He apologizes for taking his “unresolved anger toward society” out on her. He also doesn’t like not pursuing her. After some more boring banter, they agree to a date.
Thoughts: Denise is played by Jaime Bergman, wife of David Boreanaz (hence the vampire reference in the photo caption).
Watch out, Eddie. With your moralizing, you’re going to turn into the Brandon Walsh of Boston.
I’m impressed: I can’t remember the lyrics to “One Way or Another” when I’m sober.
They should have sued Kerr Smith a lot more than they did on the show. He’s a pretty good actor.
Why are so many guys on this show so chivalrous and ideal? Dawson, Pacey, Jack, C.J., and David are all about protecting women and being careful of others’ feelings and all that stuff. Guys that age just…aren’t that perfect.
August 21, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.4, Instant Karma!: Everyone Gets Drunk and Does Stupid Things
“So what are we using for subtext this week?”
Summary: Dawson’s on the set with Todd, who’s being a jerk, as usual. The lead actress, Natasha Kelly, hasn’t arrived yet, since Todd fired the PA who was supposed to fetch her from the airport. Dawson runs off to get her himself. At Hell’s Kitchen, Joey and Eddie banter about On the Road and he calls her on being angry; he guesses it’s because of a guy. Audrey, Jack, and Jen are also around, but Pacey’s still at work. Audrey’s mad that he’s been spending so much time studying for his broker exam.
Audrey decides to bail on the party she, Jack, and Jen were supposed to go to, but Jen and her ugly bangs really want to have some fun. She makes them agree to do some true partying. Natasha mopes all the way from the airport to the studio, drinking from what really looks like a bottle of vanilla. She tries to get Dawson to stop for flowers to take to Todd, warning that he doesn’t want her angry on set.
Rich wants Pacey to go out to some clubs with him and their bosses. Pacey asks to call Audrey to let her know, but Rich won’t let him. (So we can all see where this is going, yes?) Natasha continues harassing Dawson, calling him Donald, then acts fake cheery with Todd, who can immediately tell that she’s been drinking. And then we learn why Natasha’s so ticked: Dawson is the girl he dumped for Joey. Todd tries to shoot Natasha’s big scene in the movie but she’s awful.
Jen, Audrey, and Jack leave Hell’s Kitchen for some big house party, but none of them knows where it is. They run into Pacey and his co-workers just as they’re talking about going to a strip club. Audrey accuses Pacey of lying to her about working, saying he’s turned into an annoying suit. He argues that he wants to make something of his life, so he has to play by the rules. Audrey leaves with Jen and Jack, telling Pacey not to follow her.
Eddie and Joey pack up a big delivery while talking more about On the Road. He thinks she hates it because it’s about people who follow their own road, and Joey won’t act on her impulses. She argues that she does, since she bought a ticket to Paris over the summer. Eddie enlists her to help make the delivery.
At the house party, Audrey complains about Pacey, creeping Jen and Jack out with discussion of their sex life. Jen runs into C.J. (literally) and thinks he’s going to judge her for drinking. Professor Freeman’s at the party, which is totally realistic, and Jack gets a beer with him. Joey and Eddie wind up delivering the food to a movie set, and I bet you can guess whose movie it is. Go on, guess!
Pacey calls Audrey, who’s drunk enough to drop her phone in a glass of beer without caring about it. Jen’s starting to get concerned about the amount of alcohol Audrey’s had. Joey goes looking for payment for the delivery and is told to ask Dawson. Natasha meets Joey and quickly realizes who she is. She goes on a rant about rocking Dawson’s world in bed, only to get dumped on her answering machine.
Jack and Freeman discuss The Simpsons, then Freeman’s class. He thinks Jack has a gift for looking below the surface to see what’s really going on. He reveals that his wife just called him from a business trip the day before and told him she’s pregnant. Freeman was having a hard time being at home, so he came to the party. At a strip club, Rich tells Pacey not to worry about his relationship; if he really loves Audrey and is really sorry, she’ll understand. Pacey tells him he’s full of crap but doesn’t leave.
Audrey’s moved into the sleepy stage of drunkenness, which is also the stage where she’s ready to hook up with a random guy. Jen tries to stop her, but another guy tries to keep her from following Audrey and the guy upstairs. C.J. overhears and gets Jen upstairs to retrieve Audrey. Natasha refuses to leave her trailer until Dawson’s gone, so Todd tells him he has to go. Dawson’s sad to be fired but understands.
Jen and C.J. take Audrey to her room, where she wants to be alone. Jen tells C.J. that she’s been in Audrey’s position more than once, and it was strange to see the situation from a different side. She thinks C.J. will see her as a mess. He tells her she didn’t do anything wrong, and anything she did wrong in the past has made her more compassionate.
Eddie and Natasha watch as Dawson tells Joey he’ll probably be going back to California. He asks if she thinks things would have worked out between them if things had been different. She says that’s been the theme of their relationship. Maybe it’s better that things happened the way they did because that made them let go of each other and stand on their own. Freeman drives Jack home, admitting that he went to the party hoping to see him. Jack is a little creeped out.
Pacey goes to Audrey’s dorm but doesn’t know what to say. Fortunately, she’s fine with not talking. Dawson takes a last look at the movie set, then starts to leave. Natasha stops him and lets him know she got him unfired. She admits that she got drunk because she knew she was going to see him. Dawson apologizes for the way he dumped her. Natasha says she got him his job back because she could see that Joey hurt him a lot worse than she did.
Back at Hell’s Kitchen, Joey asks Eddie why he likes On the Road. He says it’s about people who take chances and really live, and he’s always wanted to be one of those people. Joey responds by kissing him. She explains that she was following an impulse, but Eddie disagrees: She’s reacting to the pain of seeing Dawson again. They need to deal with their issues and leave Eddie out of it.
Thoughts: This is another episode title that doesn’t get explained. There isn’t really any karma at play here. Maybe for Dawson, but that karma wasn’t instant.
Dumped on an answering machine? I’m Team Natasha on this one.
As if a diva actress would date a director’s assistant.
Audrey and Pacey’s falling-out happened too quickly. I think they’re trying to speed things up to get to other stuff, so they had to have things fall apart early on, but it just doesn’t work.
Is this Jack/Freeman plot going to be Joey/Wilder 2.0? Can I boycott if it is?
Eddie, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH JOEY. YOU WILL REGRET IT. All you’ll ever hear is “Dawson, Dawson, Dawson.”
June 19, 2012
BH90210 3.27, A Night to Remember: Hands In the Air If You Cats Drunk as Me
Oh, early ’90s prom fashion. The gift that keeps on giving
Summary: Donna and Brenda are putting up ads for West Beverly’s senior prom, which Donna finds bittersweet. Brenda isn’t sure she’s going to go, but Donna tells her she can’t miss it. Cathy Dennis is going to be there! (I have no idea who that is.) Brandon also isn’t that interested in going. Steve tells him all their friends should be there together, but even that doesn’t change Brandon’s mind. Steve tells him to just ask Andrea already.
Andrea tries to make peace between two Blaze writers, Howard and Toby (a girl), who Gil says remind him of her and Brandon. Brandon takes one last assignment reporting on a school board meeting. David invites Brenda to a pre-prom party at his dad’s, but she doesn’t want to go to it any more than she wants to go to the actual prom. David and Donna don’t get why she hasn’t been asked. He tells Donna he’s reserving them a room at the Bel Age so they can get it on, but she’s not as excited about it as he is.
Kelly and Dylan hang out at his place, not worrying too much about being on time for school. She suggests getting a room at the hotel after prom, but he wants to be more original. He suggests a weekend in San Francisco instead. Cindy looks through one of her high school yearbooks and Jim and Brandon tease her about the prom stories she’s told them through the years. Jim reveals that a guy he hung out with at his prom got high on pot and hallucinated all night. Cindy thinks Brandon should go to the prom on his own. He tells her he’s decided to ask Andrea after all.
Andrea winds up at the school board meeting with Brandon, noting that this is the last time they’ll be covering a story together. She’s upset that there’s an item discussed that wasn’t put on the agenda so there wouldn’t be any dissent. Someone wants a dress code, and unsurprisingly, Felice is on board. Andrea can’t keep her mouth shut and asks why the topic wasn’t on the agenda. No one cares what she thinks.
The next topic on the agenda is about the prom: Anyone found with liquor or drugs, or who is found intoxicated, will be suspended and not allowed to graduate. This is the one Brandon objects to. He shares the news with his friends at the Peach Pit, and Steve says that anyone who’s dumb enough to get caught drunk deserves whatever happens. David worries that sex will be outlawed next. Donna reveals that Felice wants to run for mayor. Brandon asks Andrea to the prom, but she’s already going with Jordan.
At home, Donna brings up Felice’s comments at the meeting and says she’s being too extreme. Felice decides not to get into it, instead just saying how proud she is of Donna. Donna says she’ll be spending the night at Kelly’s after prom, which Felice thinks is just an attempt to get out of missing curfew. She has no idea what Donna really has planned.
Brandon tries to get in on a prom-night poker game, but it’s off since Tony Miller wants to go to the dance after all. In fact, he wants to go with Brenda. Brenda is skeptical about the idea but accepts. Donna tells David she’s on board for his post-prom plans. Gil, who has convinced Dylan to visit Berkeley, tells his students about the alcohol/drug policy set out for prom. Andrea wonders who will be enforcing the policy.
Brenda buys her dress the day of the prom, but her parents are just glad she’s going. Jackie’s approved of Kelly’s weekend away with Dylan, noting that Kelly’s 18 so she can kind of do what she wants. Felice loans Donna (who hasn’t eaten all day) a cross necklace to wear to the dance. Mel brings out some champagne for a pre-prom toast as Brandon finds himself bored at the Peach Pit. Nat tells him he skipped his own prom since his date got sick. Brandon replies that at least Nat had a date. Just then Andrea calls – Jordan’s sick and she wants to go to the prom with Brandon.
Steve shows up at Mel’s with Celeste, who tells Kelly that Steve talks about her a lot. Everyone else arrives with their dates and badly curled hair, and champagne is drunk (except by Andrea and Dylan). Donna’s had a little too much, but no one notices. After Mel takes a picture, Steve grabs another bottle for the road. David and Donna are worried about the prom policy, but it doesn’t stop them from having some more.
The kids go to the Bel Age, where party favors include quarters (to call cabs in case of drunkenness) and condoms (for…you know). Cathy Dennis, whoever she is, sings. Brenda’s a little upset watching Dylan and Kelly together, but Tony wants to make sure she has a good time. As the night progresses, Donna is unable to hide her tipsiness, Kelly and Dylan can’t keep their hands off each other, and Tony shows that he shouldn’t dance in public.
Donna’s ready to make use of her and David’s room, but he’s noticed that she’s had too much to drink. She heads off to find a bathroom. Celeste tells Steve to dance with Kelly so they can make a nice memory together. Steve admits to Kelly that he always pictured the two of them together at their senior prom, but if she’s happy with Dylan, he’s happy for her. Kelly also approves of Celeste and thinks Steve deserves her. Steve asks her to name her first son after him.
Brenda winds up dancing with Dylan and tells him that she hopes the horrible year he’s had is “the worst [he'll] ever know.” They announce that they’re almost over each other. Kelly finds Donna in the bathroom and tells Brenda that she’s really drunk. Brandon decides to break his no-dancing rule with Andrea, though he only does it for about 20 seconds. Brenda and Kelly try to figure out how to get Donna out of the Bel Age without any chaperones realizing she’s been drinking.
Brandon shows Andrea a key Tony gave him and asks if she wants to see the room it goes to. Kelly asks David to collect Donna’s purse and Dylan so they can get Donna out of the hotel. Andrea notes the irony of her and Brandon winding up in a hotel room even though they’re the two people least likely to use it. She suggests that they take advantage of the surroundings, but the idea just makes them both laugh. Everyone else is in or around the bathroom, including Gil. The kids start to lead Donna out, but she collapses in front of Ms. Teasley, who can immediately tell that she’s drunk.
Thoughts: Howard is played by Shawn Levy, who’s better known as a director. He did the two Night at the Museum movies, Date Night, the upcoming The Watch, and, awesomely, a few episodes of The Secret World of Alex Mack.
Silly kids. You don’t drink before the prom, you drink afterwards. (Said by someone who didn’t do either.)
Felice giving Donna a cross as a prom accessory is awesome. I’m definitely doing that if I ever have a daughter.
Drunk Donna makes me happy.
Why, why, why would you give a hotel key to the brother of the girl you were obviously hoping to score with? Why not just wear a shirt that says, “Please beat me up”?
When Andrea and Brandon get to the hotel room, she opens what I guess is a piece of candy, but I swear I thought it was a condom.
This site has more pictures of the awesome prom fashions.
June 17, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 5.13, Something Wilder: Like New
Yeah, sorry, I just don’t have the urge to make out with this guy
Summary: Jen gives Dawson some school supplies to celebrate his first day at the Boston film school. Included is an ET Trapper Keeper, which is totally appropriate for a college student. She’s way too excited for him. In Joey’s room, she and creepy Elliot discuss Professor Wilder’s book; he thinks she only likes it because she has a crush on the author. He asks her to go out that weekend and she accepts. Audrey teases Joey about her new guy, though Joey tries to downplay their relationship.
Jen delivers Jack’s mail to him at the frat house, where all the guys stare at her. She’s read one of his letters and confronts him about being on academic probation. Jack doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal. At Dawson’s new school, he runs into Oliver and has to stand there while Oliver insults various classmates.
Audrey calls in to Jen’s radio show to complain about guys who ask for your phone number, then never call you. (Apparently this isn’t the first time she’s called in.) Jen tells her to stop being negative and nurture love. Jack mentions his academic probation to his frat brother Blossom, who warns that if he doesn’t raise his grades, the frat won’t be very supportive. Oliver gives Dawson a script he’s just written and asks him to direct it.
At Worthington, Elliot continues to be weird. Professor Wilder tells Joey that the Rose project is officially over, so they’re all going out to celebrate on Friday. She doesn’t realize until too late that that’s the same night as her date with Elliot. Dawson tells Jen he’s not going to direct Oliver’s script, partly because he wants to do his own stuff and partly because he doesn’t want to make a commitment to a film right now. Jen thinks he should go for it since he obviously likes the script.
Pacey goes by Worthington to pick Audrey up for work and learns about Joey having two dates in one night. (Audrey thinks the evening with Professor Wilder could “end up with date-like circumstances.” Joey says her only reason to choose that option would be for her academic career. Audrey doesn’t think she has the guts for that. She also wonders if Joey’s ready for a committed relationship. Joey says she is, and Audrey replies that that means she’ll be going out with Elliot.
Jack is starting to turn his grades around, so Blossom apologizes for jumping on him. He suggests that they party that night to celebrate Jack’s accomplishment. Oliver already has a preliminary shooting schedule for his film, but Dawson tells him he can’t direct. He does give the advice that he doesn’t think Oliver needs flashbacks in the movie. Oliver uses this as an in to get Dawson to discuss the movie more.
Jen goes to Pacey’s restaurant to complain about a meeting with her producer in which she was told that she’s lost her edge. She’ll be canceled if she doesn’t go back to the way she was before she was so happy with Dawson. “Nobody likes happy people,” Pacey agrees. Jen asks him to say something horrible to get her back to her sarcastic mindset. However, when Dawson calls, she calls him her “little pumpkin” in a baby voice, which isn’t good for anyone.
Joey pulls the stupid brush-off technique of telling Elliot she doesn’t feel well, so she has to postpone their date. Jen tries to get her edge back and ends up yelling at Dawson for making her happy and boring. He just laughs and calls her cute. Jen’s happy again when she hears that he might do the movie, and she reluctantly agrees to let Oliver come to dinner with them so the guys can talk business.
Jack and Eric drink at Pacey’s restaurant’s bar, which I’m sure all the frat guys frequent. Eric is still annoying and doesn’t help Jack feel better. Joey goes to dinner with Wilder and her classmates, afterward walking back to campus with Wilder. They discuss his book and who the characters were based on. Dawson, Jen, and Oliver go to dinner at a diner, but no one’s really listening to Jen.
Joey thinks one of the characters in Wilder’s book is based on his wife, who he admits doesn’t exist. She questions him about why he broke up with the girl he based his leading lady on. He says she was crazy, and as you get older, you no longer want someone crazy. Oliver decides that his and Dawson’s creative relationship isn’t going to work, so Dawson’s fired (though he was never hired to begin with).
Joey and Wilder get coffee and chat about Dawson in front of a green-screen Boston harbor scene. She laments that the nice guys never give you butterflies; she only gets them over people she shouldn’t. Then they kiss, because they’re both idiots. “I’m going to go to prison, aren’t I?” Wilder asks when he realizes what just happened. They quickly split up and Joey tries to take things back to some level of appropriateness by calling him Professor.
Blossom tries to make nice with Jack, who’s drunk and angry that his frat brothers don’t really care about his problems. Blossom admits that the house comes before anything else. He taunts Jack for getting emotional and says it’s “like talking to a chick.” Jack’s ready to make things physical, but Eric, Pacey, and Audrey keep the two guys apart. Blossom says that it wasn’t worth bringing Jack into the frat since he hasn’t made them look any better. Jack hits him and ends up accidentally breaking some glasses and cutting his hand.
Joey returns to her dorm to find a care package Elliot left for her. She feels bad, as she should. Dawson tells Jen that he could have handled dinner with Oliver better; Oliver’s annoying, but he has a great script and a lot of passion. Jen clearly couldn’t care less about the movie talk. Dawson thinks that directing someone else’s work would be a good challenge, and he should apologize. Jen blows up at him for not listening to her, then realizes that her edge is back.
Joey announces to Audrey that she kissed Wilder and dumped Elliot. She didn’t want to stop kissing Wilder, but she got scared. She came to Worthington to become a different person, but she hasn’t been able to. Audrey wonders why she wants to be someone new when she’s good enough as she is. She advises Joey to seize new opportunities because she might not get them again. Speaking of not being a new person, Jen’s back to her old self on the radio.
Jack gives Pacey money to repair damages from the fight, and Pacey asks what he’s doing to himself. He’s been in Jack’s position and knows he’s scared to be in academic trouble. He doesn’t get why Jack is goofing off just so he can hang out with the guys who attacked him and left him at the restaurant the night before. Jack won’t answer Pacey’s questions of whether it’s worth it.
Dawson finds Oliver on campus and apologizes for going overboard. He thinks part of him was trying to sabotage the movie so he wouldn’t have to accept a challenge. Oliver guesses that Dawson also doesn’t want to face being down after the project’s over. He warns him not to coast through life just so he doesn’t have to feel anything bad. Dawson agrees to direct the film but wants to know why Oliver isn’t doing it. Oliver admits that he wants to be the movie’s star.
Thoughts: Super-happy Jen scares me. It’s like she’s on drugs. And not even good drugs. (Not that there are good drugs. Just say no, kids!)
Really, the two-plans-for-the-same-night plot? Freaking A, Joey, get a backbone and tell Elliot you have to take a rain check.
I don’t think it’s so much that Wilder lied about being married as it is that the writers forgot they established him as married, and when they decided they wanted to hook him up with Joey, they had to backtrack.
Also, I still don’t get all the Wilder love. That’s the guy all the girls at Worthington are in love with? I don’t see it.
