April 27, 2013
BH90210 5.24, Unreal World: When People Stop Being Polite and Start Getting Yelly
I don’t even know where to start with this
Summary: Valerie has just gone on a shopping spree, but she probably should have held on to her money, because her account at the hotel has been cut off. At the beach apartment, Clare has thrown a little welcome-back lunch for Donna, who spent a few weeks at her parents’ house recovering from Garrett’s attempted rape. Felice is thankful that David was her hero and remarks that she almost wishes he were still living in the apartment. She also hopes that David and Donna will give things another try now that Ray’s gone. She doesn’t think David and Clare will last much longer.
Clare and David will be spending their weekend working on a class project – basically, it’s a documentary about real college students. (The title of this episode should give you a hint as to where they got this idea.) They run into one of the participants, who tells them his roommates don’t want to be a part of the project anymore, so they’re all dropping out. Clare’s mad because David was supposed to secure their participants and location. David calls her a control freak. She wishes she hadn’t signed on for a project where her grade depends on him.
Valerie meets with the hotel manager, who’s annoyed that she hasn’t paid her tab. Valerie’s annoyed that she’s being asked to pay her tab. She asks for a special rate, which he says she’s already getting. Then she tries to proposition him. He won’t budge. David gathers Kelly, Brandon, Donna, and Steve at the beach apartment so they can be four of the six “roommates” in the video. (Clare and David will be the other two.) David and Donna seem especially interested in the idea of spending 24 hours with each other.
Cindy calls Jim at work to let him know that Valerie has come crawling back to their house. Jim thinks they need to set some ground rules. Cindy’s just glad she’s back, and thinks that if they talk to her, she’ll be different this time. Clare does some late-night prep for the video, planning out the arguments the “roommates” will be having. David complains that she never uses any of his ideas. Clare casually wonders who arranged for David to play the character who has a crush on Donna’s character. He blows off the question, then says, “Good night, Donna.” Oops!
Brandon’s already in character when he gets up in the morning (he’s playing an annoying skater type). Jim’s distracted by trying to figure out why Valerie came back. He also smelled pot coming from her room. The other “roommates” start filming, but everyone is awful at acting. Then Steve takes a phone call and breaks character to announce that Celeste is getting married. Clare films him anyway, but when he realizes she’s capturing his real feelings, he goes back to his character.
Things are better over at Jesse and Andrea’s, so she decides to put her plan to tell him about Peter on hold. Over at the beach apartment, David (in a sweater vest and nerd glasses) watches Donna pretend to play the piano (which is actually a keyboard, and which would never sound like that). Then the real Tuck shows up, having gotten his roommates to change their minds about the project, and objects to Brandon’s portrayal of him. Brandon finds the whole thing hilarious. Meanwhile, Kelly eats a bunch of watermelon Steve spiked with vodka.
Dylan and Charlie work on their screenplay at the Peach Pit, and I’m happy to report that Dylan is no longer wearing suits. Valerie shows up (and <i>she’s</i> wearing a suit, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore) and invites them to a movie premiere. David and Donna film in her bedroom, and she gets a little shaken when she remembers what happened the last time they were in there together. David comforts her, and Clare sees him give her a quick kiss. The kiss almost turns into a lot more, but Donna puts on the brakes.
During a later scene, Clare gets jealous of David and Donna’s closeness, so she gets Steve to dance with her, then makes out with him. Kelly (drunk on watermelon) gets a call from Jackie reporting that she’s asked Mel to move back in. She rants at the guys for always letting women down. She brings up Brandon’s fling with Emily, David’s affair with Ariel, and Steve cheating on Celeste, adding that Ray probably had his own little thing on the side that Donna doesn’t know about. (Kelly’s psychic!)
Andrea and Jesse have a nice night in, happy that they’re finally having fun together. Dylan and Charlie go to the premiere, though Dylan doesn’t want to. Charlie just wants to check out Valerie and network. He runs into his former hypnotherapist (a consultant on the film), who inspired the screenplay he’s working on.
At the beach apartment David decides to put the project out of its misery. (Donna and Steve are now drunk on watermelon anyway.) Clare thinks David was just tired of seeing Donna flirt with someone else. She gets him to admit that he still loves her. He asks if she has feelings for anyone else; he thinks she’s still hung up on Brandon. Clare admits that this is true.
In her bedroom with Brandon, Kelly drunkenly brings up the night of the fire and asks straight-out if he slept with Emily. Brandon says they just kissed, assuring her that she can trust him. He starts to tell her he can see them spending the rest of their lives together, but she’s already passed out. Valerie gives Dylan a ride home from the premiere, and though he doesn’t want to invite her in at first, she changes his mind by promising that they’ll just keep things platonic. (She really means they’ll be friends with benefits.)
The non-drunk “roommates” discuss cheating and relationships that ended poorly. Brandon admits that when Emily came back to town, he realized he had feelings for both her and Kelly. David and Steve think Kelly also still loves Dylan, and he probably still loves her. Steve admits that if Kelly asked him to get back together, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Donna’s worried that her virginity will be the end of all of her relationships, like it was with her and David’s.
Kelly wakes up the next morning with a hangover and no memory past eating all the watermelon. (She does imply that she remembers the Emily conversation, though.) Jesse and Andrea are all smiles, but for some reason she thinks this is the right time to tell him about Peter. She’s been seeing a therapist who wants her to be honest. But before Andrea can come clean, Jesse tells her that he had a fling while he was out of town on an interview.
Donna and Steve discuss the previous night’s conversations, and he tries to make a move on her, which is really weird. David and Clare edit their film, and Clare says the real-life stuff is better than the character stuff. They start bickering, and they confront each other for their respective kisses with Donna and Steve. David’s mad that Clare keeps flirting with other guys right in front of him. Also, her expectations of people are too high, or something. They decide they’re done with each other.
Thoughts: A 20-page proposal for a 30-minute video? Claire is a control freak.
The suit epidemic has spread so far that David almost wears one to bed. This is like 28 Days Later, but fancier.
Donna’s fake British accent is hilarious.
Tuck is clearly based on Puck, and Steve’s character seems to be based on Jon from the L.A. season of The Real World, but I’m not sure who the others are supposed to be.
’90s music alert: “Dreams” by the Cranberries.
Drunk Kelly is kind of adorable.
Nooooo, Jesse, you weren’t supposed to be a jerk!
Now that she and David are over, can Clare please go away?
March 13, 2013
SVH #137, Fight Fire with Fire: Burning for You
Whichever twin is on the left, I like her dress
Summary: Lila is arrested for firebombing the restaurant and spends the night in jail until Steven can bail her out. (I hope Mr. Fowler paid him back later.) Obviously Steven’s boss doesn’t like this, since Lila is the main suspect in the fire at Fowler Crest, so he forces Steven to choose between Lila and his internship. Steven chooses Lila and sets out to investigate on his own and prove her innocence.
Meanwhile, the twins still want Lila and Steven to break up, so they send them letters from each other, talking about their future together and making it clear how little they have in common. This is especially horrible behavior because Lila is now practically homeless, is possibly being stalked, is facing prison time, and can’t reach her parents. Steven is basically the only person she’s been able to turn to for support. But having her date their brother would mess up the twins’ perfect little lives, so they just have to get rid of her.
Anyway, Steven’s investigation actually turns up some evidence: The bomb was made from a can of the brand of soda John Pfeifer drinks. He also gets Lila to demonstrate that she wouldn’t be able to throw the soda/bomb as high or as hard as it was thrown. Not that this evidence is admissible in court, or proves that Pfeifer was the bomber, or was collected by someone not avidly trying to defend the accused culprit. But still, it’s pretty good work.
Because the twins have nothing better to do, they arrange for Steven and Lila to meet up at an SVH football game so they’ll have to discuss (and hopefully fight about) the letters. This actually works, but Lila and Steven figure out that the twins sent the letters and decide to get back at them by pretending they failed. Instead, they encounter Pfeifer, who has another bomb.
Pfeifer commits the cardinal sin of villains: talking too much. He’s mad that Lila’s accusations of attempted rape made him an outcast, so he burned down Fowler Crest and framed her. He detonates the bomb, blowing up SVH’s gym. Lila and Steven somehow make it out all right, but Pfeifer ends up killing himself. The twins feel worse about almost getting Steven and Lila killed than they do about Pfeifer actually dying.
Happy ending: Steven gets his internship back and calls Billie, so they’re on the road to getting back together. Lila’s parents come home and she tells them she doesn’t want any material things to make her feel better; she just wants them around more. And Lila and Steven get their revenge on the twins by pretending they’re engaged.
While all this is going on, Devon makes it to Sweet Valley, where his childhood nanny lives. He’s already been burned twice by relatives who a) only wanted him around because he’s rich or b) were jerks, so he doesn’t want to get too comfortable. But Nana is awesome and just wants Devon to have a stable place to live. Devon’s mad that she never got in touch with him after she stopped working for his family, but it turns out his parents hid all the letters she wrote him. She insists his parents loved him and weren’t horrible people, but the hiding of the letters seems to negate that.
Devon eventually tells Nana about his inheritance, and she makes it clear that she doesn’t care about the money. She’s more than happy to let him live with her no matter what. Devon starts to make himself at home in Sweet Valley, hanging around SVH to see what it would be like to go there. And since it’s required for this series, he sees Elizabeth and immediately falls in luuuuuuuv. Yay?
Thoughts: Devon gets a letter from the law firm of Boyd, Dewey, Cheatam, & Howe. Really, ghostwriter? Really?
Devon’s nanny is named Nan and he calls her Nana. My head hurts.
“You don’t know who I am, but you will be mine.” Dev, I’m pretty sure you can’t say that unless you’re smoking and petting a cat in a top-secret underground lair.
So Pfeifer sets off the bomb, and the next thing we get is the news that he’s dead and everyone else is fine. How anticlimactic. I bet in the next book, the gym will be fine, too.
February 19, 2013
BSC #113, Claudia Makes Up Her Mind: Bad Idea Jeans
Josh looks ten. Mark looks annoying
Summary: Remember when Claudia was bumped back to seventh grade? Apparently she’s done really well there. But instead of having her continue to repeat the year, her teachers and guidance counselor decide to give her the option of going back to eighth grade. She can either continue to thrive in classes she actually understands, or she can go back to struggling to pass her classes. Yes, this seems like a great idea.
Claudia, to her credit, takes her time considering her options. And because she’s a teenager, her schoolwork isn’t the only thing she thinks about. There are her friends, which she has in both grades. There’s the fact that she’s queen of the seventh grade. And there’s her boyfriend, Mark. Even when he keeps flaking out on her and proves to be a typical immature 13-year-old boy, Claudia wants to keep dating him.
That is, until she finds out that her friend Josh has a massive crush on her. (This is the guy she friendzoned in the past.) Their seventh-grade friends are pretty shocked that Claudia hasn’t picked up on his obsession with her, but she has her head in the clouds 95 percent of the time, so they should have expected that. Just like a 13-year-old girl, Claudia doesn’t have any interest in Josh past friendship until she finds out he likes her. Then all of a sudden she has another decision to make: Mark or Josh?
Long story short: She picks Josh and eighth grade. And everyone’s all, “Oh, you’ll do great, we’ll help you, you’ve come so far.” Yeah, we’ll see.
The kids at SMS are doing a color war, so the B-plot is them putting on a color war with their sitting charges. It’s dumb and boring.
Thoughts: If the school will give Claudia tutors when she goes back to eighth grade, why didn’t they provide them before, when she was failing eighth grade? And really, they shouldn’t have sent her back to seventh grade. They should have waited until the end of the year and had her repeat eighth grade, since that’s the year she had trouble with. But of course, that never would have happened, since the girls are trapped in eighth grade for all eternity.
Though I don’t agree with her, I like Janine’s logic: Claudia should go back to eighth grade so she doesn’t have to spend an extra year in middle school.
Abby completes a three-legged race by dragging her partner over the finish line on his back. And that’s why I love Abby.
February 13, 2013
SVH #135, Lila’s New Flame: The Girl Who Played With Fire
That kiss looks horrible. And Steven looks 40
Summary: Bo breaks up with Lila, and she responds by burning all the letters he wrote her. That night, Fowler Crest catches on fire and Lila gets trapped inside. She’s mostly fine, but the house is half destroyed. Unfortunately, the police think Lila set the fire. Her parents are conveniently out of the country and unreachable, so Lila has to deal with all of this on her own. She winds up moving into the pool house and being mopey for most of the book. She also thinks someone’s following her.
Steven’s home for a semester, working as an intern at the DA’s office. Guess what his first assignment is? Investigating Lila to find out if she set the fire. Even though she’s his sister’s best friend and this is a clear conflict of interest. And even though he’s 18 and has no experience or authority, and is also not a cop, which the ghostwriter doesn’t seem to get. Anyway, he goes back and forth between thinking Lila’s an arsonist who set the first because she wanted attention, and thinking she’s just a poor little rich girl who’s also pretty hot. (By the way, he and Billie broke up, so he’s single again.)
Lila and Steven start spending a lot of time together, since he’s supposed to be investigating her, and quickly start having feelings for each other. And even though Steven isn’t 100 percent sure Lila isn’t a pyromaniac, they end up kissing. Jessica sees and is hilariously grossed out.
We’re also introduced to Devon Whitelaw, who’s been living a Lila-esque life – lots of money, absentee parents. He’s broody and rides a motorcycle. Wait a second…rich, parents are distant, motorcycle, broody. Devon is Dylan McKay! Anyway, his parents die, and in order to inherit their estate, he has to find a guardian. He moves in with an aunt and uncle for a while, and everything seems great, but it soon becomes clear that they just want his money. If only this were a Margo-like situation and Devon ended up being an entertaining psycho bound for Sweet Valley.
Elizabeth spends the whole book obsessing over how Steven’s dealing with his breakup. She keeps inviting him to hang out with her and Todd, and he keeps finding reasons to hang out with Lila instead. Todd, amazingly, does not break up with Liz over this, even though that seems like something he would do. And she would deserve it, because it’s weird.
Thoughts: Why do the twins make such a big deal about Steven coming home? He’s there ALL THE TIME.
Billie gets mad that Steven wants to leave school for an internship for a semester, and she tells him to choose between it and her. Who knew Billie was secretly a jerk?
How can the DA investigate Lila when the police haven’t talked to her and no charges have been brought against her?
“Oh, what’s the point of surmising?” Studying for the SAT, Bruce?
“Who would want to hurt Lila?” Oh, Jessica. So naive.
Why is Lila allowed back into the house? It’s a crime scene! And the DA thinks she’s the criminal!
I get Lila being a suspect, but not once you look at the details. She poured gasoline around the house, took the empty can out to her car, then went back inside, where she could get trapped by the fire? I don’t think so.
“Was it possible? Was [Steven] really interested in one of his sister’s friends?” Hey, remember when Steven dated Cara, Jessica’s best friend? Yeah, no one else in the series remembers that either.
Lila claims she once dug for oysters in the south of France. There is not a chance in the world she ever did that.
February 12, 2013
Party of Five 1.8, Kiss Me Kate: Charlie Makes a Bed, But Bailey Can’t Lie in It
What is with Kate and that hat?
Summary: Bailey and Kate make out on the Salingers’ couch (her mom’s out of town so she’s at the Salingers’ late), but when things proceed to another base, Kate puts on the brakes. Julia and Nina are at Stage 18, and after Nina leaves, Julia starts working with a guitar player, Danny, who wants her to write him some song lyrics. Kirsten has vacated her position as Owen’s nanny, and Charlie’s the only person who thinks her replacement is capable of the job. Claudia discovers that she’s been featured in a newspaper article about gifted musicians.
Charlie’s trying to get a job making a sleigh bed, and he agrees to do it for half his quoted price. Claudia has a lesson with Ross, and challenges some of his instructions. She reminds him that she’s “one of the most promising youths in the Bay Area,” so her opinion should count for something. Charlie learns that Julia skipped a writing class and covers for her with the teacher before blasting her for lying. He’s surprised that she skipped the class since it’s the only one she likes. She begs him to explain things to the teacher so she doesn’t get in trouble, but he thinks trouble is what she deserves.
Bailey and Kate make out again, and he tells her that if she’s not ready for more, he can wait. She tells him she wants to wait until she’s married to have sex. Bailey’s totally reasonable response is to get married, or at least get engaged, and then she can give him “an advance. Like a low-interest loan.” Now Claudia’s skipping school, since she doesn’t think she needs it as much as the other kids. Ross shows up with the news that a chamber ensemble wants Claudia to sub for a soloist. Charlie’s fine with it as long as it means Claudia will go away. Claudia just wants to know if she gets paid.
Bailey doesn’t get why Kate doesn’t want to sleep with him, because of course he’s going to take this personally. She just wants to make sure that when she has sex, it’s meaningful. He promises her it would be if she slept with him. But he’s totally not mad at her. At school, Julia’s writing teacher calls her on skipping class. He forgoes giving her detention, instead making her an appointment with the school counselor. He misses the person she used to be, and he wants to fight to get her back. Charlie has to take care of Owen since the nanny’s late. Oh, and drunk. He fires her on the spot.
Julia meets with the counselor, who she last saw after her parents’ deaths. The counselor’s worried that she’s pulling away from the things she used to love. Julia declines her help. Charlie tries to work on the bed at home, but Owen doesn’t like the sound of his saw. Claudia’s no help since she’s obsessed with the chamber performance. Julia meets Danny at Stage 18 and gives him a poem she wrote about Owen. He loves it and wants to use it for a song.
Kate and Bailey watch From Here to Eternity and start to get handsy. This time he’s the one who puts on the brakes. Julia tries to exert some authority, but Claudia’s being a jerk. Charlie and Bailey are on Julia’s side, but even the three of them can’t make Claudia do her chores. Charlie gets another call from Julia’s school and winds up having to meet with the principal. She suggests family therapy and communication among the siblings about the accident. Charlie insists that he’s handling all the family’s issues and they don’t need help.
Bailey and Kate attend Kate’s mother’s birthday party at the Salingers’ restaurant, where Bailey’s so desperate for sex that he imagines placing an order with the waitress for Kate. Kate’s mom gushes over how wonderful he is. Charlie works on the bed again while Julia tries to be domestic. He admits that he doesn’t know what he’s doing (NO KIDDING). Instead of thinking about what she’s been doing, he should wonder why she’s doing it. He doesn’t know how she’s feeling. “I’m not feeling anything,” she tells him brightly.
Charlie encourages Julia to talk to him, but she’s tired of everyone wondering how she’s feeling. She knows everyone wants her to be the way she was before because it’ll mean she’s all right. But she knows that won’t make her feel okay. She doesn’t get why acting differently is a bad thing. Julia promises not to cut classes anymore and to bring up her grades, but that’s all she can promise. She likes going to Stage 18 because people don’t study her; she feels like a real person there.
Bailey and Kate snipe at each other, and he complains that she made a decision about not having sex without consulting him. She thinks he’s trying to punish her. He’s willing to give her time, but that’s not what she wants – she’s already made up her mind. Kate points out that they weren’t sleeping together a week ago but they were fine. Bailey says that a week ago, they were heading somewhere. He thinks sex is an important part of a relationship. He notes that he’s 16, meaning that’s old enough to have sex. She says she’s 16, too, implying that she’s too young.
Charlie needs help sanding, so he wakes up his sleeping siblings and tries to throw a sanding party. Only Claudia abstains. “You know, you can’t buy love like that,” Charlie quips. The sanding party isn’t so much a party as a sweatshop disguised as a music montage, but it gives the siblings a chance to bond. Bailey asks if Charlie ever had trouble getting a girl to sleep with him. Charlie can’t remember that ever happening. (I think Charlie is Joey from Friends.)
Charlie reminds Julia of a time when he’d moved out and complained that he never got mail except bills, so she wrote him stories. He loved them because they were fitting for who she was. He understands if she doesn’t get terrific grades, but she needs to keep writing. The sanding party turns into a singalong that’s actually pretty cute. Claudia finally decides to join the fun, but her siblings send her back to bed, using the same reasons she gave for not participating in the first place.
Charlie shows his client the finished bed and is rewarded with more money than he’d agreed on, plus an offer for future projects. He then heads to the chamber performance, where Ross tells him about some of Claudia’s diva behavior. She overhears and is unamused. A reporter asks her how it feels to be a child prodigy, but she won’t comment. Charlie makes her feel better by giving her a piggyback ride.
Bailey goes over to Kate’s house and they discuss whether or not they’re done. He hates that he has to feel bad about wanting to be with her. She feels like a disappointment. Their relationship has become all about sex (or the lack thereof). They agree that that’s not going to work. At Stage 18, Danny plays the song he wrote with Julia’s lyrics. Afterward, she goes home and writes about the experience.
Thoughts: If I told my teenaged boyfriend I wasn’t having sex until marriage and his response was to suggest marriage, I would run away.
Claudia, writing her bio for the program: “Does ‘brilliant’ have one L or two?” Here’s a hint If you can’t spell it, you aren’t it.
Hey, you know the best place to bug your girlfriend for sex? Her mother’s birthday party.
I do like the exchange Kate and Bailey have that kind of puts the nail in the coffin: Bailey says, “I’m 16,” and Kate replies, “So am I.” For him, 16 is a perfectly good reason to have sex. For her, it means there’s plenty of time for that later.
February 9, 2013
Party of Five 1.7, Much Ado: Partial Eclipse of the Heart
“These strings are Bailey’s face. And this bow is poison. I’m rubbing poison on your face, Bailey!”
Summary: Bailey and Kate are goofing around at the Salingers’ house, so I guess her father doesn’t know where she is. Claudia’s annoyed by their affection, as am I. Charlie invites Kirsten to spend the night; they didn’t want their relationship to interfere with her caring for Owen, and so far it hasn’t, so why not? Kirsten’s worried that she’ll end up practically living at the house (but isn’t she already?).
Julia finishes a shift at Stage 18 and hangs out with a waitress named Theresa and a couple of musicians. Music break! (I think this scene is only to show us that Neve Campbell can sing.) Bailey’s supposed to take Claudia to a planetarium to see a partial solar eclipse, but he’s late. Charlie nicely offers to take her instead, but she declines. Long after the eclipse has come and gone, Julia tells Claudia that Bailey’s out with Kate.
Charlie and Kirsten go to a poetry reading, and in his truck she finds a tube of lipstick. Charlie admits that it’s Rebecca’s, but they totally weren’t in the car alone, no, sir. Her husband was also there because his car died. Kirsten finds his story fishy, noting that Charlie could have jumped the car. She accuses him of sleeping with Rebecca. He gets defensive and lies that he didn’t sleep with her. Kirsten doesn’t believe him and makes him stop the car so she can run off dramatically.
Charlie ends up at Stage 18, where one of the musicians is bugging Julia to sing with them. Charlie sees her and realizes she’s there to drink. A bouncer thinks he’s hassling her and makes him leave. Once she gets him, he just makes sure she didn’t get driven home by someone who was drinking. He’s confused since everyone at the club knew her. Julia admits to using a fake ID; she doesn’t think anyone will find out about it. Charlie warns that their parents’ executor could find out. She counters that he could also find out about the $12,000 he wasted.
Claudia tries to remind Bailey that he forgot about the eclipse, but he’s completely oblivious. She agrees to tell Kate where they’re supposed to meet. When Kirsten comes to take care of Owen, Charlie admits that he did sleep with Rebecca. His honesty doesn’t make Kirsten want to forgive him. Neither does his claim that he sabotages things when they’re going well, which means their relationship was actually good. He reminds her that he asked her to spend the night, which is a big step. Kirsten says it just means that he hasn’t found anyone else to sleep with yet. Just because he says he’s sorry doesn’t mean he gets a clean slate.
Bailey comes home angry – Claudia sent Kate to the wrong movie theater for their date. She reminds him that he was supposed to take her to the planetarium, and complains that he only cares about Kate now. Bailey’s not sympathetic at all. Charlie calls a family meeting to announce that Kirsten’s quitting. Bailey immediately thinks it’s because Charlie did something. Julia refuses to help find someone else, telling Charlie he can’t lecture her on personal responsibility. Bailey won’t help either; he found Kirsten in the first place and Charlie’s the one who screwed things up.
The siblings were supposed to go to dinner together, but Claudia’s the only one who wants to now. She tells Charlie she’ll call Ross and see if he wants to go. “I don’t know why you do this stuff, but I wish you’d just stop,” she tells him. Kirsten ends up staying late to take care of a sick Owen. He has a very high temperature, and instead of taking him straight to the hospital like a normal person would, Kirsten calls a doctor and has to be told to take him to the hospital.
Charlie’s the first person to arrive at the hospital, because I guess no one was home. He’s shaken, and Kirsten has to take charge. Bailey comes home and complains to Kate on the phone about Claudia. Claudia and Ross go to dinner after all, because Ross is awesome enough to give her the attention she needs. She pretends she likes this better than having to spend time with her whole family. She thinks everyone’s screwed up because of sex. “Don’t ever have sex, Ross,” she advises. “It really messes people up.”
Bailey gets to the hospital and Charlie tells him Owen might have meningitis. The doctor advises admitting him and doing a spinal tap. The brothers are skeptical, but the doctor convinces them by saying it’s what she would do if her child were in this position. Charlie figures out that Julia’s at Stage 18 and calls her, but she won’t talk to him. Ross takes Claudia to the hospital, but she asks to stay in the car. He realizes that this is the hospital where her parents were taken after their accident.
Charlie goes over to Stage 18 to retrieve Julia and yell at her for not talking to him on the phone. Bailey tries to get Claudia to leave Ross’ car, but she still won’t budge. She says she’d rather be alone in the car anyway. Bailey asks Ross to take her home. Charlie tells Kirsten about his mother telling him she was pregnant with Owen; he wondered why his parents wanted to go through raising a baby all over again. Nearby, Julia tries to make herself feel better for going out while Owen was sick. Bailey wonders if they’ll always dread hospitals.
Kirsten isn’t sure it’s right for her to be at the hospital, since she’s not a member of the family. Charlie asks her to stay. He and Julia decide it’s a good time to fight about her recent actions. He knows he sounds like a hypocrite for lecturing Julia on her activities when he did the same thing at her age, but he’s in charge, so he has to. She tells him she’s the same person she always was and still cares about the same things.
Bailey goes home, where Claudia’s looking at old family pictures. She asks if he believes in omens, thinking the eclipse was a sign that Owen would get sick. She refuses to go to the hospital, and he assures her that she doesn’t have to. He apologizes for not spending much time with her recently; he’s trying to figure out how to balance his family with his first real girlfriend. He promises that whenever Claudia needs him, she’ll come first.
Julia and Kirsten end up on the hospital roof, where all TV shows are required by law to have at least one scene. Julia urges Kirsten to forgive Charlie since he has to do wrong things before he can figure out what’s right. Just a year ago, he was living his own life, and now he’s forced to take care of his siblings. (As if that’s an excuse for cheating.) Kirsten says she doesn’t know how to get past what he did.
Charlie bugs a receptionist to release test results to him so he doesn’t have to wait until the morning to find out what’s wrong with Owen. (What kind of crap hospital is this with no doctor around?) The receptionist violates policy and probably risks her job to tell Charlie that Owen will be fine. In the morning, Bailey tries to call Claudia to give her the good news, but she doesn’t answer. That’s because she’s finally come to the hospital. She tells him to call Kate and let her know, too.
The four older Salingers, Kirsten, and Ross have an impromptu family meal in the waiting room. Kirsten tells Charlie she’ll stay on as Owen’s nanny until he finds a replacement. He apologizes for cheating and says he thinks he loves her. As the other Salingers work out a schedule so they can rotate being at the hospital with Owen, Claudia plays him a lullaby on her violin.
Thoughts: There are two guest stars in this episode who went on to be pretty successful. The waitress Julia hangs out with is played by Christa Miller (Cougar Town, Scrubs, The Drew Carey Show), and Owen’s doctor is played by Jane Lynch.
Why wouldn’t Kirsten just think the lipstick was Julia’s? Why go straight from “there’s lipstick in your car that isn’t mine” to “you must have cheated” instead of “it must belong to your teenage sister”?
Julia: “What kind of personal stuff?” Charlie: “It’s personal.” Thanks for the clarification, Charlie.
Um, if Owen had a temperature of 105, I don’t think he would be conscious.
December 22, 2012
BH90210 4.30, Vital Signs: Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
If law school doesn’t work out, Jesse has a future as a carpenter
Summary: There’s a baby crying in a forest, and Andrea’s looking for it while wearing a hideous Victorian blouse. Oh, wait, it’s just a dream. Andrea’s alarm clock goes off at 3 a.m., for some reason, and she finds Jesse in the living room, taking a study break to sand a cradle. She tells him she had the same nightmare she’s been having. However, she doesn’t want to let the nightmare get to her since she’s already dealing with bed rest and having to take pills every four hours (which is why she’s up at 3 a.m.).
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is opening the next night, and Cindy is nervous for Brenda. Brenda, however, is confident. She tells her parents that Steve never picked up the free tickets she offered him. Erica wakes Dylan up, not realizing Kelly’s in bed with him. She announces that she, Suzanne, and Kevin are moving to South America, though the adults want to keep it quiet. Erica begs Dylan to go talk to them. Kelly’s upset that they’re in the house and that Erica could have walked in on the two of them having sex. Dylan doesn’t seem to care.
Suzanne thinks Erica wanted to come see Dylan for his opinion on the new shoes she’s about to buy. Dylan reveals that he knows they’re moving. Suzanne says they’re not moving to South America, they’re just considering moving to the southwest, namely Arizona. Kevin says no one wants to start up a new business in L.A. Kelly emerges, pretending she didn’t spend the night (who cares? They’re not his parents), and Erica says that Dylan should be with Brenda.
David and Donna try to pick out music for CU’s Mardi Gras; Donna’s the entertainment chair. David sees that Babyface is a potential performer and encourages Donna to book him. Brandon task force handbooks blah blah blah, no one cares. He sees that his name isn’t on the list of delegates going to Europe, but Chancellor Arnold’s secretary won’t let Brandon go in to see him. Andrea and Jesse learn that Andrea’s preterm-labor condition hasn’t improved, and she’ll most likely need to deliver early. Her doctor advises her to check into the hospital that night.
Steve packs up Laura’s dorm room, as the girl in question is now under psychiatric care back home. He tells Brandon that her parents said this isn’t the first time she’s tried to kill herself. Brandon wants Steve and Brenda to work things out, but Steve doesn’t think Brenda’s up for it. He notes that Brandon also has a girl in his life who’s nuts. Brandon even thinks Clare had something to do with his name being left off the list of delegates. He notes the irony of being punished for not taking advantage of Clare.
Brenda gets ready for opening night, receiving a St. Genesius (the patron saint of actors) medal from Dylan. Roy thinks Dylan must be pretty special. Shut up, Roy. Andrea and Jesse pack for the hospital, and Andrea’s anxious because she thinks she’s responsible for the baby’s condition. She’s worried that her nightmares are coming true and she’s going to lose the baby. Jesse shows her the finished cradle and says everything will be okay because he didn’t do all that work for nothing.
After her first performance, Brenda gets a standing ovation and a bouquet of flowers from Roy. Brandon spots the chancellor and tries to talk to him about the task force, but the chancellor blows him off. Brenda’s friends congratulate her, and she thanks Kelly for her help. Dylan chats with Jim about Kevin’s company and sets up a meeting with him to talk about investing. Kelly disapproves but doesn’t want to talk about it. She’s further annoyed when Dylan says that Brenda is like a big sister to Erica. Andrea checks into the hospital and shoos Jesse away so he can study.
Brandon and Kelly run into each other early the next morning; he’s staking out the chancellor’s office to confront him about the trip to Washington. Kelly accuses him of engaging in a self-fulfilling prophecy. The chancellor’s secretary again turns Brandon away. Donna meets with Babyface’s management team while David chats with a junior rep named Ariel about music. (He tells her about his “pretty kickin’ rap single.”) She invites him to jam with a band she’s putting together. (Yes, she says “jam.”)
At the Walshes’ house, Jim looks over the prospectus for Kevin’s company and asks to meet him. Dylan can only arrange a meeting over Sunday brunch because Kevin will be in Arizona on Monday. Brenda thanks Dylan for the medal, as well as for sticking by her through the madness of the audition process. She kisses him on the cheek but totally wants to kiss him somewhere else. Dylan starts to say something but settles for telling her to have a good show.
Donna visits Andrea and gives her an Etch a Sketch to play with while she’s in the hospital. She’s read a book about color therapy for pregnant women and thinks it could help. For example, pink is a positive color. They compliment each other on their significant others while Jesse confides in Brandon that he’s scared about having a premature baby. The doctor tells Andrea and Jesse he wants to perform an amnio to make sure the baby doesn’t have any birth defects.
David meets the band, and one of the members, P.K., recognizes him from CU. They “jam.” At the Peach Pit, Kelly picks a fight with Dylan over whether or not she’s invited to the brunch with Jim and Kevin. Brenda arrives with Roy after their second performance, and he says she could be a great actress if she got some classical training. Brenda teases Steve about not coming to the show and encourages him to come to the final performance the next afternoon. The others tell him he should go.
Andrea has the forest dream again, but this time she finds a cloud of pink mist and pulls a small baby out of it. A nurse thinks the nightmares are over. There’s more “jamming,” and P.K. finally places David as a DJ. The guys know that if David worked for CU’s radio station, he must know Howard. That means he’ll be happy to do drugs with them, right? Donna gets Ariel’s permission to book the band as Babyface’s opening act. Donna thinks David will fit in with the guys really well.
Brandon goes by the chancellor’s office again, this time ignoring the secretary to bust in. Brandon tells the chancellor that, yes, he was attracted to Clare, but he didn’t make any moves. He doesn’t think he should be left out of the Washington trip just because of his dealings with Clare. Chancellor Arnold tells him there was a printing error and he’s still going on the trip. He also admires the way Brandon dealt with Clare, because she needed someone to “put her in her place,” and I guess it was too much work for the chancellor.
Kevin and Jim hit it off at brunch, and Kelly’s the only one in attendance who isn’t in a good mood. David and Donna are at the hospital, and she’s happy that he’s gotten connected with a great band. David tells her he can’t play with them because they’re all drug users. He didn’t say anything to her because he was trying to rationalize how he could make it work. Donna thinks they should cancel both the band and Babyface, but David tells her to keep the latter.
Dylan drops Kelly off at the hospital, and she notes that their relationship isn’t doing too well. He suggests that they block out everything that’s happened over the past few weeks. They quickly get back on the right track, then just as quickly get off it when Dylan mentions Kevin. He thinks Kelly hates Kevin, Suzanne, and Erica because they pull his attention off of her. The two of them snipe at each other and say they should see other people.
After the final performance of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Steve visits Brenda in the dressing room and praises her acting. They make up. Brandon goes to see Andrea and Jesse before heading off to Washington, and suddenly Andrea’s water breaks. Brandon promises not to go anywhere until the baby’s born. Yeah, I’m sure that’s what Andrea’s concerned about right now.
Thoughts: If I’m ever in the hospital, I want Donna to visit me. She brings fun presents.
The dream with the baby is scarier than the ones without it. A baby small enough to hold in your hand shouldn’t make you happy, Andrea!
You know, Kelly, if you keep smirking, your face will freeze like that.
December 8, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.20, Catch-22: A Fool and His Money
This is before they start smashing computers
Summary: Pacey’s having dinner with Sadia, who wonders why he waited so long to ask her out. He tells her he was “otherwise engaged,” but that’s been “taken care of.” At Worthington, Joey and Eddie discuss Catch-22 so the writers can justify using that for the title of the episode. She’s studying for Hetson’s final, wanting to make up for the last final she took for his class. Audrey gets a letter from the dean informing her that she can only stay at Worthington if she goes to summer school. She thinks she can negotiate her way out of it.
Joey realizes that since the semester is almost over, she and Eddie won’t be able to stay in her dorm anymore. They’ve discussed going to Capeside to work at the B&B, but Eddie has other ideas, ones he won’t share with Joey. Jack stops by the helpline while David is working, but David’s still mad about their ridiculous fight and doesn’t want to talk. He agrees to maybe meet with Jack later, but doesn’t give any kind of commitment.
At work, Pacey speaks to some job candidates, telling them that he had sex with Sadia because his life is awesome. Also, because he’s officially turned into Rich. Speaking of Rich, he tells Pacey that the Stepatech approval is about to go through. Pacey hooks up with Sadia again later, telling her that as soon as the FDA approves Stepatech’s new medical “thingy,” he’ll have enough money to buy a new car. In case it isn’t clear that Pacey has turned into Rich, he barely reacts when Sadia mentions that she has a boyfriend.
Joey ensures that she’s on time for her final by arriving two hours early with Eddie. Eddie decides that now is a good time to thank Hetson for his recommendation to the writing workshop. Joey’s worried that things will go badly and Eddie will end up hitting Hetson again. Eddie proceeds with a thank-you that proves he’s not as good with words as his admission into the workshop would have us believe. Joey tells Eddie that Hetson’s “whatever” is the best response he’s going to get.
Dawson calls Pacey at work to say he’s changed his mind about Pacey letting him invest all his money. Pacey assures him that Stepatech’s flu vaccine is going to make him very rich. Dawson considers using credit cards to finance the film, but Pacey wants Dawson to keep trusting him. Joey discusses her final with Eddie, complaining about the obscure questions Hetson asked. Fortunately, she knew the answers, so she thinks she aced it. Eddie rewards her with a backpack containing a booklet about traveling Europe for cheap. That’s his plan for their summer together.
David meets Jack at Hell’s Kitchen but isn’t happy to see him talking to a male classmate. He accuses Jack of leading him on, then announces that they’re over. Jack notes that he wouldn’t have asked to meet David if he didn’t want to work things out. David says Jack’s just going through the motions, which isn’t enough for him. Jack is thoroughly confused, as he should be, though maybe he should’ve seen this coming after David’s weird behavior in the last episode.
Joey and Eddie start planning their trip, and she tries to get them to stick to practical ideas. He doesn’t care for being practical if it means they get to spend the whole summer together. They’re already pretty broke, so it doesn’t matter how much money they spend. Joey points out that this romantic idea he has won’t be as romantic as he believes; their lives will still be here when they get back. Now she thinks they should wait a month or two to make some money first. Eddie interprets this as her changing her mind about going.
Joey says she’s throwing her life “off-course,” but he just wants her to take a chance and spend some time with him. She reminds him that the books they’re read about trips and adventures aren’t meant to be guidelines they should live their lives by. Eddie says they’re meant to encourage people to step into the world, where their lives begin. He wants an adventure to change his life. Joey asks if that means she has to stop being who she is. He tells her she’s a scared little kid who’s afraid to take chances, but that shouldn’t define her as a person. She tells him to sleep somewhere else tonight.
At work the next morning, Pacey learns that the FDA didn’t approve the vaccine. Rich doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but Pacey’s been touting Stepatech for months and is going to have a lot of unhappy clients. Rich thinks the clients have only themselves to blame. Joey meets with Hetson to declare her major in English; he gives her back her final with an A- on it. She’ll have a C+ for the year (the class was a year long?), which pleases her.
They discuss Catch-22, which Hetson sees as a man choosing life over a bleak existence. He has Joey read a passage about Yossarian saying he’s not running from his responsibilities, he’s running to them: “There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.” Hetson says that a lot of critics find that part too sentimental, as if Joseph Heller wanted to put a moral in an amoral tale. But Hetson likes it, because right now the writers are letting him show a sentimental piece of his unsentimental character.
Joey announces that she needs to go somewhere, but they can finish their discussion next semester. Hetson yelps that he’s not going to let her into any more of his classes (does he really have the option?). She tells him she’d never take another class with him, but she does want him to be her advisor, mostly so she can keep torturing him. He smiles because he totally likes her torturing him, but also because that means he gets to keep torturing her, too.
Pacey shares the FDA news with Sadia, as well as the fact that he’s now lost all of Dawson’s money. She doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Then she wants to ask him some questions on the record. Pacey won’t go for it. Sadia can’t be with him that night since she’ll be with her boyfriend – who’s now her fiancé. She tells Pacey that they have a long-distance relationship and it’s kind of boring. He decides to make her deal with the boredom by breaking up with her.
Jack goes back to the helpline, this time to see Jen, who makes her first appearance in the episode with eight minutes to go. He asks if she thinks he only went out with David to prove that he could be in a relationship. He’s worried about still being alone when he’s 35, going to bars and trying to pick up guys. Jen notes that right now he’s not even old enough to go to bars, so he shouldn’t worry about not having met the love of his life yet. Jack thinks Jen and C.J. will stick it out because they give him hope.
After dealing with dozens of angry clients, Pacey just has Dawson to address. First he asks Rich for a loan so he can give Dawson back his initial investment. Pacey put all of his own money in Stepatech as well, so he and Dawson are both broke. Rich tells him he’s an idiot, then gives him the answer he should have given Dawson: No. Instead of just dropping it, Pacey keeps fighting, and Rich tells him he hasn’t earned any help. He adds that Pacey is a failure and a loser who will never amount to anything. Pacey attacks him and they have a fight that breaks a bunch of computers. It ends with Pacey getting himself fired, which Rich thinks he wanted all along.
Joey makes Audrey register for summer classes, then tells her she’s decided to go to Europe with Eddie after all. But before she can tell him, she finds a goodbye note he left her saying that he, unlike her, wants to act without worrying about consequences. Maybe people like him (and Pacey, who’s now at the Leerys’) are just doomed to make the same mistakes over and over, but he still hopes for a happy ending. (Hey, Joey, at least he left you a note this time.)
Thoughts: Pacey went from lovable romantic to creepy jerk in two episodes. Goodt hing we can blame Joey directly.
I guess this means no more Hetson. Thank God for Todd Manning on my TV five days a week.
Cheap trip or not, how were Joey and Eddie planning to pay for their summer in Europe? The plane tickets there would have probably wiped them out.
Seriously, Jack, you are better off. David is crazy. If it’s between being alone and being with him, just get some cats and go with it.
Do most schools let you pick your advisor? We were assigned ours.
When Jen has the best outlook on relationships, you know your characters are screwed up.
November 4, 2012
BH90210 4.23, A Pig Is a Boy Is a Dog: Dog Gone
Get your tissues ready…
Summary: Donna and David go for a run with Rocky, who tires out and gets no sympathy from David. At the Walshes’, Brenda wonders how Brandon and Kelly are getting along, and it’s totally not because she wants Kelly and Dylan to break up. She knows Brandon’s seeing someone, so he tells her he’s been sleeping with Lucinda. He warns Brenda to keep quiet so Josh doesn’t find out. (And also the school administration, of course.)
Dylan sees a picture of Kelly and Brandon in the Condor and tries to keep the ensuing conversation about it light. Things get much less light when he brings up Lucinda’s views on monogamy (sleeping with one person at a time) and Kelly defends her. She wants him to give funding her documentary a second thought, so she asks him to have dinner with the two of them. Josh watches them together, then remarks to Kelly that the last time he saw her with a guy, it was Brandon.
Steve and Brandon play golf, for some reason, and Steve complains about his father. Brandon notes that they’ve entered a father/son golf tournament, so Steve’s complaints don’t really hold water. Back at CU, Brenda and Donna go to a meeting held by the animal-rights activists. They want to hold a rally while the board of trustees convenes, possibly to agree to ban all animal testing. One of the activists asks after Rocky, warning that sometimes animals from labs end up getting really sick.
Brenda goes home for dinner but announces she’s not eating red meat anymore. Brandon reminds her that her boots are leather. “Why can’t she ever do anything halfway?” Jim wonders. Kelly shows up and tells Brandon that Dylan’s willing to have dinner with Lucinda and might agree to fund her film after all. She wants Brandon to come so Dylan will see how comfortable he is with Lucinda. Kelly also thinks Dylan’s bothered by her and Brandon spending so much time together.
Rocky doesn’t seem to be feeling well, so we can all see where this is going. (Hint: It ends with a dead dog.) Brandon tells Lucinda that he’s told Kelly and Brenda about their relationship; she’s not happy. He thinks getting Dylan to fund the film will make things work out for them because Lucinda will be able to stop teaching, and then their relationship won’t have to be a secret. Josh shows up and Brandon hides while Josh makes arrangements to talk to Lucinda about him.
The next day, Kelly and Lucinda discuss the dinner party and Brandon. Lucinda appreciates how happy he’s been since he came back from the retreat. David takes Rocky to the vet and tells Brenda, but not Donna, that the dog has cancer. She advises him to wait to tell her. Then the girls bug Andrea about not standing up for a good cause (animal rights) like she usually does. Andrea takes them to the lab and tells them their animal testing is helping researchers study SIDS. Brenda’s still anti-lab.
Kelly makes Dylan’s house all pretty for the dinner party, telling Dylan that Lucinda’s boyfriend will be coming to dinner. Oh, did she mention that said boyfriend is Brandon? Dylan glowers his best glower at the news and isn’t all that nice to Brandon when he arrives. Donna tries to give Rocky medicine, but he seems to be getting worse. David has a hard time telling her that Rocky won’t be getting better, and the vet thinks he should be put to sleep. Donna’s in denial.
Over at the world’s most awkward dinner party, Dylan makes it clear that he doesn’t dislike Lucinda’s film, but he doesn’t plan to back it. He thinks she needs a woman to produce and distribute it. Brandon thinks they should call it an evening. After he and Lucinda leave, Kelly blasts Dylan for being rude and not taking part in something that could be great. He tells her that Lucinda tried to seduce him the last time they got together. Kelly doesn’t believe him.
Donna’s denial/magical thinking may have made Rocky a little better, and she and Brenda turn their focus to the animal-rights rally and trying to get Andrea on their side. They skip Lucinda’s class, where Kelly questions her instructor about cultures in which women go after other women’s mates. Lucinda tells her that Eskimos are so close that they have bonds with each other’s lovers. Kelly reminds her that they’re not Eskimos. Lucinda thinks relationships are healthier if people are honest with each other about their sexual impulses.
The animal-rights rally is well-attended but unsuccessful: The board of trustees votes to postpone making a decision on animal testing. Brenda leads a chant about animal rights, and it’s no “Donna Martin graduates.” Then the students yell at the head trustee until someone reminds them that they’re supposed to be anti-violence.
Andrea, Jesse, Brandon, and Steve have a boring conversation at the Peach Pit about baby names. Kelly interrupts to talk to Brandon, and Andrea mentions that Kelly and Lucinda had a weird, subtext-laden conversation during class. Kelly thinks she needs to tell Dylan about her and Brandon’s kiss at the retreat. Brandon says he should be the one to break the news. Now Rocky’s sick again, and Brenda thinks Donna should stop trying to fight his inevitable death. It’s too late – he’s already gone. Brenda vows to get revenge on the lab researchers.
Before he goes to see Dylan, Brandon visits Lucinda and confronts her about Dylan’s accusations. She tries to make it sound like there was mutual flirting. She also knows from Josh that Brandon and Kelly were overly close on the retreat. Brandon admits that he feels bad about that because Dylan’s his friend. Lucinda thinks he’s making a big deal out of nothing; her flirtation with Dylan doesn’t change her feelings for Brandon. But Brandon isn’t interested in her anymore.
Kelly comforts Donna, who wants to have a memorial for Rocky. Kelly’s also had a bad night, as she just told Dylan what happened with Brandon on the retreat. Dylan heads straight to the Walshes’, where Steve is as clueless as ever about what’s going on. When he finds out that Brandon made a move on Kelly, he’s a little proud. He also wants to hear more about the “sex freak,” as Dylan refers to Lucinda. Brandon encourages Dylan to hit him, but Dylan accidentally punches Steve in the nose. “Do you know how much this nose cost?” Steve yells.
Brandon announces that everything’s his fault. “Hey, nothing’s your fault until I say it’s your fault,” Dylan replies. “It’s your fault.” Brandon thinks Lucinda would love to see them at each other’s throats. He tells Steve and Dylan that the relationship’s over. Then Cindy calls everyone inside for brownies, so everything’s good now.
Brenda tracks down the animal-rights activists, who are plotting something, and asks to be a part of whatever they decide to do. One of the activists is hesitant to let her join them since they don’t know anything about her, but the others agree to let her be their lookout when they break into the lab. Meanwhile, Dylan and Kelly literally kiss and make up, because she’s actually flattered that the guys fought over her.
The activists break into Andrea’s lab, though they tell Brenda they’re only going through that one to get to the ones that aren’t trying to help babies. The activists free a bunch of animals and throw papers everywhere. Suddenly the FBI storms the lab and Brenda’s arrested, despite the fact that she’s just standing in the hallway and isn’t necessarily involved in the raid. But whatever. It’s a cliffhanger!
Thoughts: Andrea, you can stop carrying things in front of your stomach. We all know you’re pregnant.
Mopey Dylan is no fun. Turn that frown upside-down already.
Lucinda just has a plate of fruit and pastries lying around, I guess in case she has an unexpected visitor. What a weird woman.
Why do they keep bringing Jesse in for one scene a week? Though I guess it’s not all bad, since any time this episode airs, Mark Damon Espinoza gets, like, 20 cents.
There’s a little message at the end of the episode in which Tori Spelling tells us that a) this was the 100th episode and b) the dog that played Rocky was named Poundcake. That is an adorable name for a dog.
October 14, 2012
BH90210 4.21, Addicted to Love: Let’s All Feed Brandon’s Ego
He deserves this
Summary: Brandon and Lucinda are practically living together, it seems, and I have to wonder where Cindy and Jim think their son keeps going. Anyway, Brandon has the first meeting of his super-special taskforce that night, and the dean bugs him about attending it alone, reminding him that he could have brought a date. Josh the student politico is there and tells Brandon he’s writing a feature story about him. He’ll be conducting interviews and digging to find out what Brandon might be hiding, since there’s no way he’s as perfect as he seems.
Over at the beach apartment, Donna’s making cookies, which David thinks is a good way to distract himself from drugs. He’s thinking of renting a piano so he can play in the apartment. Brandon goes home after the get-together and mentions to his parents that he might go to Steve’s later. And they shouldn’t be surprised if he comes home at 6 a.m. smelling like perfume. Brenda’s also going out, having reunited with Stuart. Brandon complains to her that appearances are important on the taskforce. She encourages him to take a date – and she knows he’s secretly dating someone.
In the morning, Cindy thinks Brandon went to class early, because she and Jim seriously have no idea what’s going on. Stuart stops by to take Brenda to class; they’ll be going to Palm Springs later so he can give a work presentation. “If you decide to get married, call us,” Jim says. (Heh.) In Lucinda’s class, the girls discuss love, desire, and how women shouldn’t be ashamed of sex. Afterward, Steve gets Andrea to agree to let him live in her old dorm room. (For some reason, she’s still keeping it, but I guess if room and board were covered by her scholarship, it doesn’t matter.)
Kelly learns that Lucinda’s working on a film and invites her to get coffee and discuss it. They wind up at the Peach Pit, which is doing well; Dylan credits Suzanne with the success. He joins Lucinda and Kelly for their conversation, expressing interest in her documentary. Dylan tells her he might be able to help her out. Of course, Brandon shows up and pretends he barely knows Lucinda. Nat tells him and Steve that he thinks she might be talking to Dylan about financing her film.
Andrea packs up her room while Josh interviews her about Brandon. She says so many nice things that Josh teases that he’s suspicious about Brandon being the baby’s father. Steve arrives and Andrea tells him that the RA, Kathy, is fine with him living there as long as he behaves. Steve talks up Brandon to Josh, mentioning how he helped with the hazing fiasco. Brenda and Stuart drive to Palm Springs, though he wants to take a detour and camp out in the desert. She’s reluctant but agrees to try it.
Josh interviews D’Shawn at the gym, asking about Brandon’s personal life. D’Shawn doesn’t want to say anything bad. Josh seems to have some kind of dirt anyway. After he leaves, D’Shawn warns Brandon to be careful about meeting Lucinda at the gym. Brandon tells him the relationship is over. Kelly meets David at a piano store, where he tells her he’s thinking of getting back into music. She senses that he asked her there for unmusical reasons. He thanks her for helping him with his problems and asks him to move back into the beach apartment. She isn’t sure yet.
Brandon visits Lucinda in her office, but she’s a little more interested in Josh’s snooping than she is in making out with her secret boyfriend. She suggests that Brandon get a beard to distract Josh. She brings up her chat with Kelly and Dylan, encouraging Brandon to take Kelly to a get-together at the chancellor’s house. Brandon thinks it’s a good idea. Of course, he also thinks getting it on with a professor in her office is a good idea, so…
Brenda and Stuart drive into the desert to watch the sunset, but she accidentally locks the keys in the car when she goes to get her sweater. He’s not pleased. They’re still there after dark, since Stuart won’t let Brenda break a window since it’ll ruin his pretty little Range Rover. Also, all their camping equipment is in the car, so they can’t really camp out. Brenda manages to get them a ride, but they have to ride in a truck full of chickens.
Brandon goes to Dylan’s house to ask him and Kelly if Josh has talked to them. Kelly says no, but he talked to Donna, who, of course, said nice things. Brandon then brings up Lucinda’s idea of him taking Kelly to the taskforce get-together. Everyone’s on board, though now Brandon thinks it might be weird. Steve has officially taken over Andrea’s room, and Kathy warns him to be a good boy so Andrea doesn’t lose the room. (But…she doesn’t need a room! I don’t get it.)
Stuart and Brenda end up at a motel, though she thinks he should call his father and get him to send a car. Stuart refuses because he wants to mope. He regrets not breaking a car window, saying he only agreed to come to the motel because Brenda was whining about being tired. Then he decides to sleep on a chair, for some reason.
The next morning, Brandon pays Lucinda a visit at home, where she’s working on a grant proposal. He thinks her work is groundbreaking and impressive. He also makes remarks about how Dylan has money, like, we get it, Brandon. Shut up. Lucinda teases him about being jealous, though Brandon says it’s only because Dylan can take his Kelly out on dates in public. Meanwhile, Stuart and Brenda return to the car, which has been stripped.
Kelly proves to be the perfect companion for Brandon, and her presence seems to tick Josh off. Brenda and Stuart finally make it to Palm Springs, where Mr. Carson slams his son for being late to a meeting he himself called. Stuart blames Brenda for the delay. His father tells him he should have been a gentleman and gone to get Brenda’s sweater from the car for her. Brenda yells at both of them for being jerks and throws her engagement ring in the swimming pool. She calls Kelly to come pick her up, but Dylan answers and offers to get her.
Kelly hits it off with Chancellor Arnold, and the dean tells Brandon she’s a real asset to his political…whatever. After the get-together, Kelly tells Brandon he’s awesome, because it’s been five minutes since someone talked about how perfect he is. Dylan drives Brenda back to Beverly Hills as she recalls how understanding he was when she forgot her passport on their trip to Mexico. Stuart, on the other hand, wasn’t able to let go of a mistake she made. Brenda regrets giving Dylan up (though that’s not really what happened, since he cheated, but whatever).
Everyone else goes to the beach apartment to celebrate David’s sobriety and Donna moving back in. Kelly announces that she’s decided to move back, too. Brenda and Dylan arrive, and Kelly doesn’t seem thrilled to learn where they were. She thinks Dylan’s been pushing her to move out of his place because of Brenda. Dylan tells Brandon to feel free to “borrow” Kelly any time he wants. It doesn’t look like Brandon or Kelly have any problem with that.
Thoughts: Finally, someone questions how Brandon can be so super-perfect and awesome all the time! Josh, you may be my new favorite character!
It looks like the two or three guys who started out in Lucinda’s class have dropped out. I’m not really surprised.
Who drives a truck full of chickens through the desert?
Was Stuart always this big of a jerk and I just never noticed? If I were Brenda, I wouldn’t have asked permission to break the window. I would’ve just done it. Let Stuart yell about it once you get to Palm Springs.
I know where this is going with Dylan, Kelly, and Brandon, and…I just…WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE BRANDON OVER DYLAN??
