March 15, 2012
BSC #97, Claudia and the World’s Cutest Baby: Lynnsanity
I don't know about the baby, but the nursery's pretty cute
Summary: Claudia’s Aunt Peaches has her baby and Claudia quickly loses her mind. It doesn’t help that the baby is named Lynn, Claudia’s middle name, and Peaches and Russ ask her to be the baby’s godmother. She becomes obsessed with the kid, inviting herself over all the time and teaching her aunt and uncle how to parent. Peaches reacts in a way that some would describe as mean but that I would describe as totally appropriate: She tells Claudia to stop being a know-it-all.
Claudia doesn’t realize how nuts she was until she goes on a class trip to Philadelphia. One of her classmates, Melissa, is basically obsessed with her and keeps following her around. Claudia just wants to hang out with Stacey and Abby, but the girls are too nice to say anything to Melissa.
Melissa and Claudia get lost in Philly, pretty much because Melissa’s a know-it-all (are you sensing a pattern here?), and Claudia gets mad at her. Melissa later apologizes for being a pest and Claudia realizes she was being a pest to Peaches. Peaches forgives her and asks her to be a little more considerate and maybe call before she comes over.
In the B-plot, the Arnold twins keep watching horror movies and having nightmares. One night when Mary Anne’s babysitting, they watch a making-of feature on one of the movies, and the twins are fascinated by how all the special effects are done. They get really interested in becoming directors and make a movie with Kristy. It starts out kind of stupid, but I liked the resolution.
Thoughts: No way is Claudia too dumb to know who Bach was.
She does, however, know that “hermano” is Spanish for “brother,” so she’s smarter than anyone with the last name Bluth.
The baby gets Claudia’s middle name and Claudia for a godmother. If I were Janine, I’d be pretty ticked.
I’d love to know where Claudia got the money to buy so much stuff for Lynn and Peaches. I mean, a fully-stocked diaper bag? No 13-year-old has that kind of cash; I don’t care how much sitting she does.
December 20, 2011
BSC #91, Claudia and the First Thanksgiving: The BSC vs. Fox and Friends
I'm pretty sure there were no hippies at the first Thanksgiving, Claudia
Summary: The students at SMS are still taking Short Takes classes, and Claudia, Stacey, and Abby are in one together about theater for kids. The class writes a play about the first Thanksgiving for some third-graders, deciding to tell the real story rather than the polished one everyone knows. (Women were property, the Europeans were mean, etc.)
Some parents attend a rehearsal and suddenly a bunch of them are furious about the way Thanksgiving is being presented. And they go incredibly over-the-top about it, even labeling the play “un-American.” Finally the principal decides that the class has to either rewrite the play so it’s more “traditionally” Thanksgiving or scrap it altogether. At first the class wants to scrap it so the protesters don’t get the pleasure of getting their way, but when the class realizes that the kids will be disappointed, they agree to a rewrite. However, they decide to go on under protest, printing “censored” on everything and basically protesting the protest.
The kids perform the rewritten play, and then some SMS students stage the original play. A ton of protesters show up and disrupt everything, even booing the actors and making it impossible for them to continue. (So reasonable and appropriate.) After the play is over, the class tries to avoid the protesters, and then suddenly it’s all over. And I guess 20 years later the crazy super-super-conservative protesters start demanding to see politicians’ birth certificates.
Meanwhile, it’s actually Thanksgiving, and while all the BSC girls had plans that took most of them out of town, they get canceled, so everyone’s in Stoneybrook for the holiday. They come up with the “brilliant” idea to get everyone’s families together for dinner. That means dinner for 36 people. I don’t know why in the world their parents would agree to this. Oh, and then Dawn makes a surprise appearance.
Thoughts: “One of Stacey’s favorite classes was called Math for Real Life. (I would call a course like that Learning to Hire an Accountant, but who asked me?” Ha! I’m right there with you, Claudia.
I’m surprised no one objects to Carolyn playing a male character.
I like that Claudia admits that the play isn’t actually that great. Usually the BSC girls are super-duper awesome at everything, but it’s much more realistic that a play written by a bunch of 13-year-olds in a short amount of time would be pretty mediocre. Now, if Mallory had been one of the writers, I’m sure it would have been a different story….
While the BSC girls, Sam, Charlie, and Janine are watching everyone’s younger siblings at the Pikes’ house, Sam tells the triplets he’s hiding a dollar bill (made into an origami turkey) and they have to clean their room to find it. Then he tapes it to the handle of a broom, knowing they’ll never look there. Sam is almost as cool as Charlie.
November 10, 2011
BSC Mystery #21, Claudia and the Recipe for Danger: Cooking Up Trouble
Shea is a lot shorter than I imagined
Summary: Claudia and Mary Anne enter a baking competition with Shea Rodowsky. There are two divisions, one for kids 9-15 and one for people 16 and up. Logan also enters (with his sister and a friend of his), as do Cokie Mason and her second banana, Grace. Except Cokie has to drop out at the last minute because she gets sick. The BSC gets hired to watch the competitors’ kids, which is dumb, but whatever, people other than Mary Anne and Claudia needed a plot.
A few of the teams experience weirdness, like ovens being set to the wrong temperature and ingredients being switched. Claudia and Mary Anne team up with Grace to figure out what’s going on, and Claudia’s surprised to learn that she and Grace have a lot in common, like their love of Nancy Drew. They suspect another contestant’s father, who’s putting a lot of pressure on his daughter, and…there aren’t really any other suspects.
The girls do some spying and catch the guy running the contest, Marty, making out with a contestant, Julie. Claudia comes up with a plan to trap the culprit by sprinkling some flour around their work station, setting up a mirror so they can spy without being noticed, and pretending to leave their station. They catch Marty “white-handed” in the act of messing with their oven. Claudia also realizes that since she saw Julie driving, she’s at least 16 and therefore not eligible for the junior division. And then they finish the competition and Claudia, Mary Anne, and Shea win with a cake Mary Anne’s mom used to make. Also, Cokie’s all ticked, which cracks me up.
The B-plot is about the BSC girls taking care of the kids at the competition, and helping them make their own restaurant. There’s a kid who keeps breaking stuff and blaming his sister, who goes along with it so her brother won’t get in trouble. But the kids aren’t regulars in the series, so who cares?
Thoughts: I like that Claudia’s the one who figures out how to solve the mystery, and that she does it in a clever way. Score one for street smarts!
But the whole plot makes no sense when you realize that Kristy is supposed to serve as “cake cop” and make sure nothing fishy happens. Plus, there are judges around while people are baking. So why doesn’t anyone notice the sabotage?
Either I read this out of order or the ghostwriter screwed up, because Dawn’s still in Stoneybrook in this book. I’m just going to blame the ghostwriter.
Claudia’s dad gets a cordless phone. Mr. Kishi is so with it.
Someone needs a book of baby names, because there are two characters named Anna in this book, and there’s a third coming in the next one.
September 5, 2011
BSC #85, Claudia Kishi, Live from WSTO!: Long-Time Listener, First-Time Caller
Records? Really?
Summary: Claudia’s all mopey over not having Stacey around, so she enters a contest to host a radio show. She wins, and Ashley Wyeth comes in second and gets to be her assistant. They get to plan their own shows, book their own guests, and basically do whatever they want. Ashley’s kind of annoying and passive-aggressive, and she and Claudia don’t get along very well at first, but eventually they both calm down and make it work.
Kristy, however, is disastrously irritating. She’s all “Ricky, put me in the shoooooooow!” and keeps trying to sell Claudia on ideas for plays. Her first involves the Barrett/DeWitt kids, her second involves the Pike kids, and her third never gets off the ground because the Arnold twins think she’s nuts. Finally, she and the Arnold twins come up with a Jeopardy!-type game involving children’s literature that fits in with a theme Claudia and Ashley had already picked. Unfortunately, this means that Kristy gets her way and will never learn her lesson.
Claudia and Ashley do some call-in segments, and in one a kid calls in looking for advice on handling his parents’ separation. Claudia recommends that he call a therapist. A couple weeks later, the kid’s mother calls to thank Claudia for her help, then donates a bunch of money, which will keep the struggling station afloat for a few more months. Stacey also calls, having listened to all the shows, including one about friendship in which Claudia said that she misses her former best friend. So they’re on the path to reuniting.
Thoughts: I’m a little surprised that Claudia’s bored, considering she has a hobby that takes up a lot of her time, as well as lots of sitting jobs. And even though Stacey’s not around to hang out with, she does have six other really close friends.
“Dawn gave me a list of songs to play (ecology-oriented, of course).” DAWN. SHUT UP.
Kristy gets Charlie to drive Claudia to the radio station. Charlie is the nicest brother ever. I can guarantee none of my brothers would have chauffeured my friends around when we were younger.
Claudia wears a tux and sneakers for her first radio show. If I saw a 13-year-old girl wearing a tux, I’d think she’d forgotten to take her medication that morning.
May 18, 2011
BSC #78, Claudia and Crazy Peaches: You’d Be Crazy, Too, If You Had a Food for a Nickname
Okay, this is cute
Summary: Claudia’s favorite aunt and uncle, Peaches and Herb Russ, are expecting their first baby, which has everyone in the family really excited. Then they decide to move back to Stoneybrook, and Claudia’s parents invite them to stay with them while they look for a house. At first, having Peaches around all the time is great, but then she keeps taking Claudia places and asking her to do baby stuff when Claudia should really be doing homework.
One night, Peaches takes Claudia out for pizza and they don’t get home until around 1 in the morning. Mrs. Kishi noticed that Claudia was gone and freaked out. She’s not too happy with either of them for leaving in the middle of the night without saying anything. Then Claudia and Peaches get into a big fight because Peaches keeps saying she’ll help Claudia with her homework, then doesn’t, and Peaches thinks she’s a “sullen teenager.” They stop hanging out together.
Claudia comes home one afternoon and learns that Peaches miscarried the baby. Everyone in the family is devastated, and Claudia thinks it’s her fault because she caused so much emotional turmoil for Peaches (shades of Mimi’s stroke). Peaches assures her that it wasn’t her fault, and they make up. Then Peaches and Russ move into their new house and everyone is fine.
In the incredibly boring B-plot, the BSC girls are sitting for a girl named Natalie who doesn’t have any friends. She gets clingy with Claudia, who already has too much to deal with and can’t really handle a needy eight-year-old. The BSC girls take it upon themselves to find her some friends. They succeed. Seriously, it’s boring.
Thoughts: Why did the ghostwriter have to have Peaches miscarry? I think that was a little out of place for this series.
Peaches is…not that bright. If I ever took one of my nieces or nephews out of the house in the middle of the night without their parents’ permission and the parents didn’t yell at me, I’d be shocked.
Hey, Karen, if you’re so concerned about Natalie not having any friends, then BE FRIENDS WITH HER. I thought you were supposed to be smart.
Claudia’s gym teacher thinks her sparkly socks are inappropriate for gym class. SPARKLY SOCKS ARE NEVER INAPPROPRIATE.
May 10, 2011
BSC Mystery #16, Claudia and the Clue in the Photograph: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Dollars
This apron is not wacky enough for my tastes
Summary: Claudia’s taking a summer photography class, and her copious picture-taking inspires the BSC girls and their clients to put together an album for Dawn highlighting a day in Stoneybrook. They take lots and lots and lots of photos. Then they take some more photos. Then a bank gets robbed the same day they took some photos at the bank. Of course, the BSC girls decide to solve that mystery, and they think the photos Claudia took at the bank could provide some help.
The girls stake out the bank and find out that one of the robbery suspects is the VP there. They also keep seeing a woman with a baby carriage, and since she won’t let them actually see the baby, they wonder if she’s hiding something. Claudia develops her photos but someone opens the door to her makeshift darkroom and she starts to suspect the bank VP knows she has evidence of his wrongdoing. It’s kind of a moot point, since her photos are now ruined. Mary Anne remembers that she also took some photos at the bank, but all those show is that there was a light on in a window, even though the bank was closed, since it was a Sunday. Oh, and the woman with the baby carriage was a red herring.
The BSC girls take what they have to Sergeant Johnson at the Stoneybrook Police Department, and though he’s the only cop willing to even listen to them, he tells them they need more evidence than they have. Specifically, he needs a picture of the VP carrying something out of the bank to show that he took the money out. The photos don’t show enough details, so Claudia very smartly uses her camera lens to zoom in, then blows up the parts of the photos she needs to see more clearly.
Once the photos are enlarged, the BSC girls can see that the VP of the bank was wearing a pocket watch that didn’t work. They think that he might keep something inside of it, like maybe a key to a safe-deposit box where he’s stashed the money. Amazingly, they’re right, and even more amazingly, when Sgt. Johnson opens the watch, the VP confesses. But since he was dumb enough to be outsmarted by a bunch of teens and pre-teens, one of whom can barely tie her shoes, I’m not surprised. P.S. Janine opened the darkroom door and was too embarrassed to admit it. Yeah, no one cares, Janine.
Thoughts: This is Sgt. Johnson’s first book. Like Emily of BSC Chronologically, I choose to picture him as hot. Well, Claudia does focus on his “clear blue eyes.” Sounds hot to me.
Claudia’s parents make her take a summer math class, and she says she’ll do it if they let her take a photography class as well. I bet both sides thought they were the only ones winning in that compromise. Actually, Mr. and Mrs. Kishi would be happier about the photography class if they thought of it as a type of chemistry lesson, what with all the chemicals and reactions necessary to develop the photos.
Kristy won’t let Stacey talk to Logan when the girls are staking out the bank because he could be a suspect in the robber. Yes, Kristy, I’m sure a 13-year-old boy masterminded a bank heist.
April 19, 2011
BSC #76, Stacey’s Lie: Apparently Stacey’s Dad Has Got It Going On, Too
There is a surprising lack of fire on Fire Island
Summary: Stacey’s dad wants to take her on vacation, and she asks to go to Fire Island, where her boyfriend Robert is working for the summer. She decides not to tell her dad or Claudia, who’s also coming. Claudia finds out about Robert’s presence on the island soon after they arrive, and Stacey tells her she didn’t say anything because she didn’t think Claudia would want to come if she knew she’d wind up as a fifth wheel. Stacey’s dad is, unsurprisingly, never around, so Claudia’s the only person Stacey has to tell where she’s going. Claudia keeps her mouth shut but is obviously not happy to have her vacation with her best friend interrupted.
Stacey rushes a girls’ night with Claudia so she can be with Robert, and Claudia decides that’s the last straw. They stop talking, and when Kristy, Mary Anne, and Shannon come visit for a weekend, Claudia turns them against Stacey. She also leaves early because she can’t stand to be in the same house with Stacey.
Robert and Stacey run into Stacey’s dad and a woman named Samantha, and he reveals that he arranged for Samantha to stay on the island so they could see each other during their vacation. He’s upset with Stacey for lying about her reasons for wanting to come to Fire Island, and they stop talking as well. Even though he brought his girlfriend along and lied about it. Jerk.
Robert doesn’t like how Stacey acted toward her father and best friend, so he dumps her. She finds out that Claudia was selling some photos in a shop on the island, and she’s upset that Claudia didn’t feel she could tell her about it. She realizes that she made a huge mistake and makes up with her dad. She also realizes that she needs to work through her issues about her dad dating someone. And then, almost as an afterthought, Stacey also patches things up with Claudia and Robert.
In the B-plot, Mallory and Jessi are working at a day camp, which Haley and Vanessa are attending. They wear the same bathing suit one day and for some reason it leads to a huge fight. They spend the whole book terrorizing each other until Jessi and Mallory make them work together. Snore.
Thoughts: Stacey wears black jean shorts over blue tights. Shudder.
I have the British version of this book, and when Stacey wonders if Claudia will feel like a fifth wheel to her and Robert, it says, “She might think she’d be a gooseberry.” I’m totally saying that from now on. Other Britishisms: “holiday” for vacation, “subs” for dues, and “vice chairman” for vice president.
There’s a house on Fire Island that a doctor rents called Bedside Manor. That’s awesome.
Another Stacey outfit: She wears a sleeveless denim shirt and green leggings. The horror.
February 25, 2011
BSC #71, Claudia and the Perfect Boy: Just Like “Emma,” If Emma Had Bizarre Fashion Sense
Yes, it's totally normal for a 13-year-old to dress like this
Summary: Claudia starts writing personal ads for the school paper, partly because she wants a boyfriend. (Stacey helps her, so the spelling errors are minimal.) The personals are wildly popular, and Claudia responds to some of the ads, looking for her perfect guy. It doesn’t go so well – one guy has no personality, one guy is obsessed with Japanese culture and won’t shut up about it, and one guy is Alan Gray. Still, other people are happy, and Claudia even helps a boy who’s upset about his parents’ divorce and is looking for someone to talk to. (She gives him the name of a therapist Mary Anne saw.)
Claudia notices that some of the people writing ads would be perfect for each other, so she writes some suggestions and comes up with some great pairings. Unfortunately, her love life is still nonexistent. She places her own ad and gets a response from a guy who seems perfect – but then finds out it’s actually from Stacey, who wanted to cheer her up. Stacey helps Claudia realize that she doesn’t have to search for a guy, and if there’s one out there for her, she’ll find him. It’s sweet and all, but, uh, she’s 13. It’s not like she’s 30 (see below).
In the B-plot, the Barretts learn that Marnie is allergic to their dog, Pow, which means they have to get rid of him. Buddy and Suzi are furious with Marnie, blaming her for her own allergy, and upset over the idea of giving their dog away. Fortunately, after Mrs. Pike sees how great her kids are with Pow, and how well-behaved he is, she lets her kids adopt him.
Thoughts: Claudia thinks Mrs. Barrett is old because she’s “at LEAST thirty.” Claud, can you even count to 30?
Stacey introduces Claudia to her perfect match: spellchecker.
When and why did Mary Anne see a therapist? Did I miss something?
There’s no way the Rosebud Café is “one of the coolest places in Stoneybrook.” I mean, Logan works there.
If Rock was as into Japanese culture as he says he is, he’d know that tai chi and the concept of yin and yang are Chinese, not Japanese, Go write some anime fanfic, you poser.
Rock has a tattoo of a skull, roses, and worms. Maybe Claudia should give HIM the name of Mary Anne’s therapist.
“I’ve been told that I look like Jason Priestly.” That’s…a selling point?
February 20, 2011
Real-life Claudia outfit sighting!
I wish I’d had a camera with me at church this morning, because I spotted a very Claudia outfit. A 12- or 13-year-old girl was wearing:
- a magenta shirt covered in sequins
- a blue flowered skirt
- brown leggings
- a magenta fedora
And you know what? Like Claudia, she totally pulled it off.
The most interesting thing to me is that before today, I would have pegged her more as a Mallory, but only because she’s the oldest of seven kids. I bet she’d make an awesome babysitter, though.
February 8, 2011
BSC Mystery #11, Claudia and the Mystery at the Museum: Who Knew Stoneybrook Was a Hotbed of Criminal Activity?
The colors...my retinas...bad. So bad.
Summary: A new museum opens in Stoneybrook, and Claudia’s excited to see some sculptures by an artist named Don. She takes a few sitting charges with her to check it out, and while they’re there, someone steals some coins. The BSC girls go into detective mode and try to collect clues to figure out who the thief is. However, they really only have two suspects: the curator, who’s kind of mean, and a guy with one green eye and one blue eye who they keep seeing at the museum.
Claudia steals a copy of the curator’s résumé and the girls find out that a bunch of robberies have happened at the museums where he’s worked. Claudia also figures out that, because of the position of the broken glass in the coin case, they were actually taken before the glass was smashed, which means it was probably an inside job.
On another trip to the museum, Claudia feels one of Don’s sculptures (he wants his art to be interactive) and senses that something isn’t right. She gets in touch with him and he tells her that he used to hide little treats inside his sculptures for his kids, so there must still be one inside. However, Claudia felt the same sculpture in another museum, and it feels different now, so she doesn’t think that’s it. For a girl who reads a lot of mysteries, she doesn’t figure out that this must mean the coins are in the sculpture.
Don invites Claudia to a party at the museum, where she again sees the guy with the different-colored eyes. Claudia and Don they stalk the curator, who they think is acting strangely, then happen to come across a janitor pulling the coins out of the sculpture. It turns out he planned the robbery way before the museum opened. The guy with the different-colored eyes was a federal agent hired to provide security (which he obviously sucked at, since the coins got stolen while he was in the musem), and the curator is often hired to work at museums that are at a high risk for robberies (see above parenthetical). And they all got bested by a 13-year-old girl.
In the B plot, Claire Pike wants to be a star and drives everyone crazy talking about it. It’s still less annoying than if they’d done the plot with Karen.
Thoughts: Yeah, I bet the New York Times published an article about a new museum in a small town in Connecticut.
The girls actually have good ideas about what might have happened to the coins: Claudia suggests that they were either dropped in the donation box or hidden with fake coins in the gift shop, and Jessi thinks they were tossed in the fountain.
Who keeps copies of his résumé lying around on his desk?
