May 6, 2013
Party of Five 2.4, Have No Fear: Don’t You Want Me, Baby?
“I’m totally fine! It’s completely normal to have shooting pains in your arms and to feel like an elephant is on your chest!”
Summary: Julia hangs out with Griffin (gray shirt) while he works on his motorcycle, then invites him to family dinner. He declines, and she decides to stay with him. Everyone else is at the restaurant, where Joe clearly isn’t feeling well. He insists he’s fine until he collapses. He winds up in the hospital, but just as Charlie’s calling to check on him the next morning, Joe arrives at the house, doing much better. It’s just congestive heart…something. (Joe, the third word is probably “failure.”)
At school, Bailey runs into Sarah (literally), and she tries to laugh off what she told him at the engagement party. He agrees to put the whole embarrassment behind them. Bailey’s dropped out of the election, citing being too busy to serve in student government, especially since he’s back on the football team. Julia tells Nina and her new way-too-old-for-her haircut how hard it is to see Justin at school every day. Nina gives her condoms, noting that her new boyfriend has had sex and will expect it again.
Charlie wants to take Kirsten to a nice lunch, since he just made some money on a painting job, but she wants to go to the family’s restaurant and check on Joe. Charlie thinks she’s being overdramatic about his health problems. She thinks everyone else is being unrealistic. He’ll need someone to help run the restaurant. She means Charlie, but he thinks she’s overreacting and that Joe will be fine by Christmas.
Julia and Griffin (gray shirt) hang out at the coffeehouse, and he teases her about doing a sex quiz in Sassy. She panics about the topic of conversation and runs off. At football practice, Bailey hits a teammate, Andy, so hard that he flips him. Andy hits the ground hard and says he can’t move. Bailey spends the night at the hospital, where he’s joined by Claudia and Charlie in the morning. They learn that Andy has a spinal injury and might not walk again.
Griffin (rust shirt) and Julia meet up and she notices that he got a tattoo. He thinks she should get one, too, though it looks like he just wants an excuse to touch her. Bailey goes to football practice, where the coach says the players get to decide whether they play the next day. Everyone elects to play. The coach tells Bailey he doesn’t have to practice, but Bailey wants to. He spends the whole time taking hits until Will questions his state of mind.
Claudia busts Julia and Griffin making out, announcing she’s going to Ross’. No one else is home, so the lovebirds are alone. Julia quickly suggests that they go out, but Griffin’s tired and wants to stay in. Charlie finds a weak Joe out behind the restaurant and finally gets him to admit that he’s sick. He signed himself out of the hospital early because he doesn’t want to deal with his health problems. He feels young mentally, and now is forced to admit that he feels old physically. Charlie announces that he’ll take over running the restaurant.
Julia practices telling Griffin she’s not ready for sex, but when she goes back to her bedroom, he’s already half naked. (The top half, rendering the Griffin Shirt Watch moot.) But he doesn’t want to have sex – he wants to sleep. Sarah finds Bailey at the football field, and he tells her he’s struggling to get past injuring Andy. She reminds him that it was an accident, but he doesn’t think it matters. He also thinks he deserves worse injuries than he sustained in practice. Sarah kisses one of his bruises, and before long, they’re making out.
Charlie learns in the middle of the night that running a restaurant is a more involved job than he expected. He’s so busy taking calls from Joe that he almost doesn’t notice that Griffin spent the night. He blasts Julia for having sex, but she assures him that they only slept together. No, literally slept. Yeah, in the same bed, but still. Sarah calls for Bailey, but he makes Claudia tell her he’s not there. Charlie announces that Julia’s not having sex in the house, or anywhere else. “Exactly,” she says.
Bailey goes back to the hospital and meets Andy’s mother, who’s outside his room so he doesn’t see her cry. But the tears are happy ones – he’s going to be okay. He’s also in a great mood when Bailey visits, and has no hard feelings about what happened. Andy knew when he started playing football that anyone could get hurt. He tells Bailey that he was lucky, because if the injury had been an eighth of an inch higher, he wouldn’t be in such a good mood.
Joe goes by the Salingers’ house to talk to Charlie about some lunch receipts. Charlie takes offense that Joe’s second-guessing his work. But it turns out it’s a good thing he did, because Charlie did the math wrong. Charlie blasts Joe for climbing a bunch of stairs to talk about $14. Joe says he’s trying to help, but Charlie thinks he’s having trouble letting go of the only thing he has in his life. Bailey’s coach puts him in the game that night, but Bailey freezes and can’t make himself get off the bench.
Griffin (blue shirt, I think – it’s too dark to tell) and Julia sneak into a junkyard so he can get something for his motorcycle. She decides to bring up sex, asking if he wants to sleep with her: “Don’t you want me?” He doesn’t know how to respond. Sarah goes to the Salingers’ to yell at Bailey for ignoring her call and not telling her Andy was okay. She asks why he’s such a jerk. (Well, Sarah, he’s kind of having a bad year.) Sarah says that she’s never gone so far with anyone, and now she feels stupid. All Bailey can think to say is sorry.
Bailey continues that he couldn’t bring himself to play in the game. Sarah asks if he just turns his back on everything. He tells her that he went to the hospital the night Andy was hurt, and when he saw Andy’s mom, he felt like he’d taken something from her. He knew how she felt because someone took something from him, too. Bailey didn’t know how to make it up to her or change what had happened. He knows how close he came to killing Andy, and he’s scared that he’s capable of doing something so terrible.
In the morning, Charlie tries to talk to Bailey about the game, but Bailey thinks he’s in for more criticism. Charlie tells him that he’s taking over the restaurant (Bailey didn’t know), though he’s not completely sure that’s what he wants. He felt like he needed to take the chance. Charlie then goes to the restaurant and apologizes to Joe, who’s packing up his things. Charlie invites him to come by for dinner whenever he wants. Joe gives him a couple of last-minute pieces of information, but they’re on much better terms now.
Griffin (blue shirt) goes to the Salingers’ (but won’t go inside) to tell Julia that if they had sex, it would be a big deal, and he’s “not into big deals,” so they shouldn’t do it. Then he invites her for a ride on his motorcycle. Charlie has to stay late at the restaurant, but Kirsten thinks he knows what he’s doing after watching his father and Joe run things for so long. Charlie says that his dad and Joe would stay late to hang out and tell stories; the restaurant wasn’t their job, it was their life. Kirsten guesses that Charlie’s afraid he’ll come to see the restaurant the same way. He says he’s only scared that he won’t be as good as his father was.
Bailey waits for Sarah at her apartment building, and when she comes home, she tells him she kept wanting to call and apologize for being mad at him. She doesn’t like that she thinks he’s entitled to feel bad but he’s not. She feels pathetic for wanting their kiss to mean more to him. Sarah says she won’t apologize, and she won’t let him say he wants to try to make her feel better. Bailey takes her hand, which distracts her from her rant. She ends up telling him that everything will be okay.
Thoughts: Charlie finally made a good, grown-up decision! Running the restaurant is a much better job for him than his regular odd jobs, considering how many people he has to support.
I’d totally forgotten Bailey played football until this episode.
Hey, Charlie, while you’re making rules about sex, maybe you should make some about motorcycle riding.
Yeah, Sarah, no one blames you for being unable to stay mad at that face for very long.
May 5, 2013
BH90210 5.26, A Song for My Mother: Portlandia
Oh, David, those flowers aren’t for you, silly
Summary: Ray meets Donna at the airport in Portland, and poor David has to watch them kiss hello. Ray didn’t know he was tagging along to visit his mother. Back in Beverly Hills, Dylan accompanies Valerie to a tattoo parlor, complaining the whole time. She knows he’s cranky because his and Charlie’s screenplay isn’t going well. Dylan’s planning to visit Charlie’s former hypnotherapist so he can learn more to apply to their protagonist. Valerie chickens out on the tattoo.
In Portland, David goes to visit his mother at work, but learns that Sheila was fired a while ago for not showing up on time (and in some cases, at all). Next he heads to her apartment, but someone else is living there. The building manager says she left two months ago after failing to pay her rent for four months.
Dylan meets the hypnotherapist, Dr. Campbell, who has a really nice house despite living in the middle of an area destroyed by fires and mudslides. She tells Dylan the house is still standing because of luck and fate – and this isn’t the first time she’s survived a fire. Dylan thinks she’s talking about a previous lifetime. Dr. Campbell tells him that she used to be in advertising, but one day she was hypnotized and started on a new journey. Or an old one, really, because she’s been “channeling travelers” for hundreds of years.
Donna and Ray’s reunion makeout session is interrupted by David, who’s distressed about not being able to find Sheila. She left a bunch of mail behind in her apartment, including alimony checks from Mel. Donna’s surprised that Mel didn’t say anything about his checks not being cashed. Ray has little sympathy, I guess because his relationship with his mom is good. Also, because he’s a jerk. Donna asks if they can borrow his truck, but Ray refuses. Because he’s a jerk.
Ray goes off to his club while Donna stays behind with David to follow a lead. He found a flier for a Valentine’s Day gathering at a bar Sheila used to frequent. The bartender hasn’t seen her for a while, but another patron reports that he recently saw her at a hotel, “setting up shop.” David and Donna go to the hotel and learn that Sheila was arrested for disorderly conduct. David doesn’t understand what’s happened to his formerly posh mom. Donna advises him to call Mel.
David makes the call from a police station, then reports to Donna that Mel didn’t sound surprise. A police officer tells them that no one pressed charges against Sheila, so they let her go. It’s been six weeks and no one’s seen her since. The police can’t do anything until 48 hours after Sheila was reported missing. The officer suggests that they check homeless shelters. David tries to send Donna off to Ray’s club to see him perform, but she wants to keep helping him look for Sheila. You can guess how that goes over with Ray.
Donna and David head to a shelter but have no luck. Next they make missing-person posters, and David berates himself for not being more involved in his mother’s life. Donna wonders why she moved to Portland when she doesn’t know anyone there. David tells her that Sheila used to say she was tired of pretending to be happy in California; she preferred the rainy weather in Portland. In bed in Beverly Hills, Dylan teases Valerie about her still-yet-uninked tattoo, and she teases him back about wanting to be hypnotized.
Ray and Donna fight about her spending so much time with David, but Donna is unapologetic about trying to help her friend, not to mention the guy who saved her from Garrett. Ray snaps at her to go sleep with him, then, mockingly saying that he forgot that she won’t sleep with anyone. Donna starts to leave but he pushes her back onto the bed. She tries again, and this time he knocks her into the door. He apologizes (not sounding sincere), saying it was an accident, but Donna leaves anyway.
Ray follows her to David’s hotel room, but Donna’s locked herself in the bathroom and won’t talk to him. David doesn’t know what’s going on. Ray gives him the keys to his truck to use the next morning. David assures him that he didn’t come to Portland to drive a wedge between Donna and Ray. Donna emerges from the bathroom and goes back to her and Ray’s hotel room. Ray apologizes to Donna again, promising he would never do anything to hurt her. He just loves her so much and was scared he was going to lose her.
The next day, David and Donna meet Mel at the airport, and he tries to ease David’s anxieties about Sheila. David says that the police think she’s crazy. Mel informs him that Sheila was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been on lithium since David was a kid. David’s upset that no one told him (and they should have, since there’s a history of mental illness in Sheila’s family). Sheila never wanted him to know because she didn’t want him to see her fall apart.
Mel continues that Sheila was stable for years, but stopped taking her medication while David was at camp one summer. She went on a shopping spree, then smashed all the china when Mel confronted her. When David came home, she acted like nothing was wrong. David asks why Mel didn’t think anything was wrong when Sheila stopped cashing his checks. Mel admits that he didn’t want to get sucked back into her problems, and he’d hoped she was being cared for by someone else.
Dr. Campbell hypnotizes Dylan by telling him to imagine he’s in an elevator. Instead, he sees himself running on train tracks, similar to the dreams he had when he was in a coma. He admits to Dr. Campbell that he’s never been able to shake the dreams. She tells him that she’s not 100 percent sure that reincarnation and past lives are real, but if Dylan can regress, he can gain understanding and move forward with his life. He just needs to commit. She decides that they should have their next session at his house, though he isn’t sold on trying again.
David, Donna, and Mel return to the hotel, where Ray tells them that someone saw their flier and has information. A homeless woman takes David and Mel to the street where Sheila (also homeless) has been living, and after a minute of being unable to get through to her, Sheila becomes lucid. David and Mel take her to the hospital and discuss other family members who have been mentally ill. Mel admits that he was relieved to learn that David had a drug problem last year, rather than a chemical imbalance.
David wonders what to do next, and Mel says that the doctors want her to stay in Portland for a while. Then they can bring her to Beverly Hills and help her get a job and a place to live. David thanks Mel for doing so much for his ex, but Mel doesn’t think he’s doing anything unordinary. Sheila is the reason he has a son, so he’ll always be grateful to her.
Ray tries to explain away his behavior with Donna the night before, saying that being on the road is hard. He also feels bad that he wasn’t there to save Donna from Garrett. Donna’s totally over it. David and Mel play a cute tape for Sheila that she and David made when she taught him to play the piano as a child. She says that she never wanted to be a burden; she thought she could take care of herself. David tells her she doesn’t have to do that anymore.
Valerie visits Dylan to show off her new tattoo: She got his name inked on her breast. He flips, but she tells him it’s fake. Then she shows him her real tattoo, a daisy on her back. David meets up with Donna at Ray’s club and tells her that listening to the tape made him want to get back into music. He admits that he stopped playing because he thought the music was making him crazy. Donna notes that the drugs were doing that. He thanks her for all her help.
Ray dedicates his next song to Donna, and David realizes while watching them look at each other that they’re happy together. He goes outside and looks up at the moon. In Beverly Hills, Dylan is also looking up at the moon instead of sleeping next to Valerie. She thinks he should blow off Dr. Campbell if he doesn’t really want to be hypnotized. Her father used to say that we’re only alive for a short time, so it should be a good time. Dylan replies that he’s not sure we’re only alive for a short time.
Thoughts: I think this episode was to make up for earlier episodes where Brian Austin Green didn’t get to do anything.
Donna and Ray, please learn how to kiss more quietly. You’re grossing me out.
Dylan wears a suit during the day and jeans in bed. Okay, then.
Danger, Donna Martin, danger!
March 31, 2013
Party of Five 1.18, Who Cares?: Bailey Do-Right and the Girl Who Couldn’t Be Helped
“And this is the one that holds the cyanide capsule, for the day I finally decide to get away from you people once and for all”
Summary: Claudia babbles about her 12th birthday, which she thinks should be a big deal because it’s her last as a kid. Julia ignores her and Bailey packs to go to L.A. and find Jill***. Charlie refuses to let Bailey go, but we all know how much authority Charlie has. Claudia worries that Bailey won’t be back in two days for her birthday. Bailey doesn’t think he’s tried everything yet to help Jill. He wants to let her know he cares about her no matter what happens.
Suddenly Bailey’s in L.A., where he easily finds Jill. She doesn’t exactly through him a welcome party. Julia and Nina go to the coffeehouse, where Julia’s musician friend Danny is performing. He tells her everyone loves the song they did together, and he wants them to write some more. Charlie’s business partner Gwen brings by their first check and the news that a buyer wants eight pieces by the first of the month.
Claudia and Artie think her family wants her to stay out of the shed because her birthday present’s there. Apparently they haven’t been informed that Charlie’s using it as a workshop. Danny comes by to try to get a decision out of Julia; he wants to know right away if she wants to write more songs with him. Julia thinks he’s acting weird. Later, Julia shares the news with Charlie that Danny is HIV positive. She notes that he’s doing better than she expected, and his diagnosis seems to have revitalized him.
Claudia pops in to try to guess what Charlie and Julia are planning for her birthday – she thinks it’s either a trip to the zoo or a day on a sailboat. They don’t tell her that they haven’t figured anything out. But I’m sure they’ll get right on it, since Charlie doesn’t have eight pieces of furniture to make and Julia isn’t going to immediately get to working with Danny.
Bailey continues stalking Jill, promising that if they start over, things will be totally different. He won’t judge her or mistrust her. He mentions that he loves her, so now she’s interested. She says she loves him, too, and agrees to go home with him. They leave the next day after she convinces him to take the scenic route.
Julia has stayed up all night writing, and she turns to Charlie for inspiration since she’s not getting anywhere. Charlie is no help with poetic language. The two of them realize they didn’t get anything for Claudia for her birthday. (At least they got a party planner, though I don’t know how they can afford one.) Charlie writes a check and sends Julia to buy something, telling her to avoid Claudia until that night, since she’ll be expecting a present this morning.
The party planner shows up and asks Claudia what she wants to do for her party. Claudia notes that that means she’s really planning her own party. That night, on their way to visit Hearst Castle, Bailey and Jill are pulled over. Jill starts fake crying and tells the cop that their brother just died in a skin-diving accident. “I hope the shark burns in Hell!” she screams. Unfortunately, the cop doesn’t buy it, though he says “the shark was a nice touch.”
Julia and Charlie get Claudia a cake, but her name is misspelled. Artie thinks she should be disappointed that she only got one present, even though it’s a nice camera. Charlie leaves early to go work with Gwen, and Julia ducks out to work with Danny. Danny doesn’t see much in her attempts at lyrics, telling her she’s not listening to the music well enough. Then he makes her miss a call from Justin and tells her she can’t go to bed, even though it’s midnight on a school night.
Bailey and Jill get a hotel room for the night, and the next morning Bailey calls Charlie to tell him his trip was successful. Jill hears him saying he’ll “deal with it” when they get home. She wants to spend another day on the road, and Bailey can’t argue with delaying a return to their real lives. Meanwhile, Kirsten returns home from an out-of-town trip and hears Claudia firing the party planner. Jill and Bailey go to a diner for dinner; he’s eager to get home but she still wants to find fun things to do. She orders wine and Bailey soon realizes that she’s not any better than she was before.
Kirsten tells Charlie that there are no places open for them to hold Claudia’s birthday party, other than the Salingers’ restaurant, of course. Kirsten blasts him for not starting the planning sooner. Charlie tells her his father was never around for his birthday since he was always working. No one ever said he was selfish or a bad father because he wanted to make a good life for his children.
Danny has a recording session, but Julia’s lyrics aren’t ready, so it’s all instrumental. She tells him she has other aspects of her life that are important. Danny doesn’t care. He wants to get songs together, record a demo, and go to L.A. to get a contract. Julia reminds him that she’s 15. She thinks he’s acting like her songs will save his life. She would do anything to help him, but this is too hard. Danny tells her to go do one of her more important things.
Bailey and Jill return to the hotel and he confronts her for drinking, saying it’s like she’s trying to make him mad. She doesn’t think anything will be different when they get home. She compares him to Dudley Do-Right – he always wants to be the hero and rescue the girl who can’t take care of herself. Bailey yells at her to shut up, then calls an end to the argument for the night. When he wakes up in the morning, Jill’s gone.
Danny goes to the Salingers’ to apologize to Julia, who easily forgives him. He confides that he wonders what people will say about him after he dies. He wants people to miss him. If he can make some good songs, he has a better chance of people missing him. He just needs help. If he had to work on the music himself, he would fail, and when he died, no one would care. But Danny knows it isn’t up to Julia and he shouldn’t have acted like it was.
Bailey finally returns home, telling Charlie that Jill split, just as Charlie predicted. He’s realized that there’s nothing he can do to fix things. He tried to help, but he just made things worse. Charlie tells him it’s not his fault. Claudia tries to ignore Bailey, mad that he missed her birthday, and he tells her Jill’s situation wasn’t more important, just more urgent. He got her a palm-tree charm for the bracelet she gets a new charm for every year.
Julia and Danny meet at the coffeehouse and listen to one of his recordings, which she managed to get played on a college station. They dance to it and she reminds him that he wrote the song all by himself. He writes beautiful music, “and when it stops, everyone’s going to miss it.” Claudia has a big birthday party at the restaurant, this time with a cake Julia made. Charlie tells Claudia he’ll have to leave early, but once he’s done with this job, they’ll do something special together.
Julia and Charlie try to cheer Bailey up, but he’s starting to lose faith in his ability to help people. They’re happy he remembered to get her a charm. Charlie advises him to find people who want help and just help them. Later, Artie and Kirsten (who are not good with cameras) attempt to take a blurry family picture.
Thoughts: Isn’t 12 a little old for the zoo? I say this as a 30-year-old who would go to the zoo right now if you asked me, but I’m not having a birthday party there.
Bailey says a couple of tourists thought he was Tom Cruise, and I scoff. But later, when he puts on sunglasses, I can see it.
“I hope the shark burns in Hell!” Jill, why can’t you be like this all the time?
’90s music alert: Sheryl Crow’s “Strong Enough.”
February 9, 2013
Party of Five 1.7, Much Ado: Partial Eclipse of the Heart
“These strings are Bailey’s face. And this bow is poison. I’m rubbing poison on your face, Bailey!”
Summary: Bailey and Kate are goofing around at the Salingers’ house, so I guess her father doesn’t know where she is. Claudia’s annoyed by their affection, as am I. Charlie invites Kirsten to spend the night; they didn’t want their relationship to interfere with her caring for Owen, and so far it hasn’t, so why not? Kirsten’s worried that she’ll end up practically living at the house (but isn’t she already?).
Julia finishes a shift at Stage 18 and hangs out with a waitress named Theresa and a couple of musicians. Music break! (I think this scene is only to show us that Neve Campbell can sing.) Bailey’s supposed to take Claudia to a planetarium to see a partial solar eclipse, but he’s late. Charlie nicely offers to take her instead, but she declines. Long after the eclipse has come and gone, Julia tells Claudia that Bailey’s out with Kate.
Charlie and Kirsten go to a poetry reading, and in his truck she finds a tube of lipstick. Charlie admits that it’s Rebecca’s, but they totally weren’t in the car alone, no, sir. Her husband was also there because his car died. Kirsten finds his story fishy, noting that Charlie could have jumped the car. She accuses him of sleeping with Rebecca. He gets defensive and lies that he didn’t sleep with her. Kirsten doesn’t believe him and makes him stop the car so she can run off dramatically.
Charlie ends up at Stage 18, where one of the musicians is bugging Julia to sing with them. Charlie sees her and realizes she’s there to drink. A bouncer thinks he’s hassling her and makes him leave. Once she gets him, he just makes sure she didn’t get driven home by someone who was drinking. He’s confused since everyone at the club knew her. Julia admits to using a fake ID; she doesn’t think anyone will find out about it. Charlie warns that their parents’ executor could find out. She counters that he could also find out about the $12,000 he wasted.
Claudia tries to remind Bailey that he forgot about the eclipse, but he’s completely oblivious. She agrees to tell Kate where they’re supposed to meet. When Kirsten comes to take care of Owen, Charlie admits that he did sleep with Rebecca. His honesty doesn’t make Kirsten want to forgive him. Neither does his claim that he sabotages things when they’re going well, which means their relationship was actually good. He reminds her that he asked her to spend the night, which is a big step. Kirsten says it just means that he hasn’t found anyone else to sleep with yet. Just because he says he’s sorry doesn’t mean he gets a clean slate.
Bailey comes home angry – Claudia sent Kate to the wrong movie theater for their date. She reminds him that he was supposed to take her to the planetarium, and complains that he only cares about Kate now. Bailey’s not sympathetic at all. Charlie calls a family meeting to announce that Kirsten’s quitting. Bailey immediately thinks it’s because Charlie did something. Julia refuses to help find someone else, telling Charlie he can’t lecture her on personal responsibility. Bailey won’t help either; he found Kirsten in the first place and Charlie’s the one who screwed things up.
The siblings were supposed to go to dinner together, but Claudia’s the only one who wants to now. She tells Charlie she’ll call Ross and see if he wants to go. “I don’t know why you do this stuff, but I wish you’d just stop,” she tells him. Kirsten ends up staying late to take care of a sick Owen. He has a very high temperature, and instead of taking him straight to the hospital like a normal person would, Kirsten calls a doctor and has to be told to take him to the hospital.
Charlie’s the first person to arrive at the hospital, because I guess no one was home. He’s shaken, and Kirsten has to take charge. Bailey comes home and complains to Kate on the phone about Claudia. Claudia and Ross go to dinner after all, because Ross is awesome enough to give her the attention she needs. She pretends she likes this better than having to spend time with her whole family. She thinks everyone’s screwed up because of sex. “Don’t ever have sex, Ross,” she advises. “It really messes people up.”
Bailey gets to the hospital and Charlie tells him Owen might have meningitis. The doctor advises admitting him and doing a spinal tap. The brothers are skeptical, but the doctor convinces them by saying it’s what she would do if her child were in this position. Charlie figures out that Julia’s at Stage 18 and calls her, but she won’t talk to him. Ross takes Claudia to the hospital, but she asks to stay in the car. He realizes that this is the hospital where her parents were taken after their accident.
Charlie goes over to Stage 18 to retrieve Julia and yell at her for not talking to him on the phone. Bailey tries to get Claudia to leave Ross’ car, but she still won’t budge. She says she’d rather be alone in the car anyway. Bailey asks Ross to take her home. Charlie tells Kirsten about his mother telling him she was pregnant with Owen; he wondered why his parents wanted to go through raising a baby all over again. Nearby, Julia tries to make herself feel better for going out while Owen was sick. Bailey wonders if they’ll always dread hospitals.
Kirsten isn’t sure it’s right for her to be at the hospital, since she’s not a member of the family. Charlie asks her to stay. He and Julia decide it’s a good time to fight about her recent actions. He knows he sounds like a hypocrite for lecturing Julia on her activities when he did the same thing at her age, but he’s in charge, so he has to. She tells him she’s the same person she always was and still cares about the same things.
Bailey goes home, where Claudia’s looking at old family pictures. She asks if he believes in omens, thinking the eclipse was a sign that Owen would get sick. She refuses to go to the hospital, and he assures her that she doesn’t have to. He apologizes for not spending much time with her recently; he’s trying to figure out how to balance his family with his first real girlfriend. He promises that whenever Claudia needs him, she’ll come first.
Julia and Kirsten end up on the hospital roof, where all TV shows are required by law to have at least one scene. Julia urges Kirsten to forgive Charlie since he has to do wrong things before he can figure out what’s right. Just a year ago, he was living his own life, and now he’s forced to take care of his siblings. (As if that’s an excuse for cheating.) Kirsten says she doesn’t know how to get past what he did.
Charlie bugs a receptionist to release test results to him so he doesn’t have to wait until the morning to find out what’s wrong with Owen. (What kind of crap hospital is this with no doctor around?) The receptionist violates policy and probably risks her job to tell Charlie that Owen will be fine. In the morning, Bailey tries to call Claudia to give her the good news, but she doesn’t answer. That’s because she’s finally come to the hospital. She tells him to call Kate and let her know, too.
The four older Salingers, Kirsten, and Ross have an impromptu family meal in the waiting room. Kirsten tells Charlie she’ll stay on as Owen’s nanny until he finds a replacement. He apologizes for cheating and says he thinks he loves her. As the other Salingers work out a schedule so they can rotate being at the hospital with Owen, Claudia plays him a lullaby on her violin.
Thoughts: There are two guest stars in this episode who went on to be pretty successful. The waitress Julia hangs out with is played by Christa Miller (Cougar Town, Scrubs, The Drew Carey Show), and Owen’s doctor is played by Jane Lynch.
Why wouldn’t Kirsten just think the lipstick was Julia’s? Why go straight from “there’s lipstick in your car that isn’t mine” to “you must have cheated” instead of “it must belong to your teenage sister”?
Julia: “What kind of personal stuff?” Charlie: “It’s personal.” Thanks for the clarification, Charlie.
Um, if Owen had a temperature of 105, I don’t think he would be conscious.
December 26, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.23, All Good Things…: The Beginning of the End
Say goodbye to this, because you won’t see it again
Summary: Two Dawson- and Joey-ish teenagers have a Dawson- and Joey-ish conversation in a room that looks a lot like Dawson’s. The guy’s name is Colby, and he wants to make sure the girl, Sam, is only friends with his best friend, Petey. Joey’s watching this on TV, on a show Dawson executive produces. When it’s over, a guy happily turns off the TV and complains about the writing. Apparently he’s a writer and Joey is his editor. He hates that she watches the show, but she thinks he secretly likes the show, too.
Dawson talks to someone about an episode they’re working on, then goes into a meeting with the writers, who are trying to figure out if Sam should be with Colby or Petey. They think putting her with Petey would be a good way to break the idea of “destiny.” As Dawson heads off to another task, we get exposition that he’ll be going to a wedding the next day. In Capeside, Doug pulls Jack over for speeding on his way to school. Jack asks if there’s something he can do to keep from getting points on his license. Doug kisses him, because they’re dating, because Doug is, in fact, gay after all. Uh-huh.
Pacey runs the rebuilt Icehouse and is still sleeping with older women, this time a married menu designer who totally looks like Gail. From her office, Joey calls whoever’s getting married and says she hopes the person liked the curtains she sent. She won’t be able to make it to Capeside for the wedding. Instead, she’s going away with the writer, Christopher. Her coworker approves of her decision to skip the wedding.
Jack’s class is one he teaches at Capeside High; he has his students reading Whitman and tries to get a jock to be comfortable reading about homosexuality. Jen shows up with her baby daughter, and contributes to some exposition – Jack and Doug have been dating for six months, but Doug is still in the closet, so they have to pretend they’re not together. Joey packs for her weekend with Christopher and finds a ring in his drawer.
The next day, Doug eats at the Icehouse, which he helped Pacey get. Pacey bugs him about Jack, encouraging him to be more comfortable with himself. Doug counters by bugging him about his not-so-secret girlfriend, Maddy. He also exposits that Pacey is 25, so five years have passed since “Joey Potter and Capeside Redemption.” Pacey wishes he could still be the bad boy he used to be. Dawson’s in Capeside, though he still hasn’t resolved the season finale of his show. Then he randomly runs into Joey at a gas station, because she’s in Capeside for the wedding after all.
The two have been emailing but haven’t seen each other for a while, and haven’t been great about keeping in touch. Dawson has to take a phone call from one of his actors, so Joey leaves. Dawson ends up at the Leerys’, and we learn that Gail’s the one getting married and Lily is now a film freak. Also, his show is called The Creek, because he’s just that creative. Over at the bed and breakfast, Joey tells Jen, Bessie, and Grams about the ring she found. Grams notes that if she decided to run instead of get engaged, Christopher probably isn’t her Mr. Right.
Bessie and Grams leave the room, and Jen admits to Joey that Grams isn’t doing too well. Joey offers to watch the baby, Amy, while Jen takes a nap. Doug and Jack go work out together and discuss the fact that they keep spending weekends together out of town. Jack wants to stay in Capeside since the only people who should care that Doug is gay don’t have a problem with it. Jack feels like they’re having an affair. Doug shoots back that he wasn’t a [gay slur redacted] at 15 like Jack. Jack points out that Doug was, he just couldn’t admit it.
Joey shows up at the Icehouse, and it’s clear that Pacey’s still in love with her. He points out a poster over the bar for The Creek and exposits that it came out of the film they all helped Dawson make. Speak of the devil, Dawson appears, but before things can get awkward, Jen and Jack join them. Reminiscing commences, and Jen learns that no one else is ready yet to laugh about Abby Morgan. Joey exposits that Audrey is singing backup for John Mayer and is dating a guy who’s completely different from Pacey. Also, Andie’s a doctor.
Jen’s a little drunk, so Jack decides to take her home before she can spill too many secrets. But first she lets us know that Amy’s father is an ex-boyfriend who left after Jen got pregnant. Joey decides to exit as well, leaving Dawson and Pacey alone. They ask each other if they’re really happy with their lives, and the fact that they both still want Joey remains unspoken. But at least they’re talking and not trying to kill each other with boats!
Jack finds pills in Jen’s bag, but Jen says they’re Grams’. Jack thinks Jen has changed the most out of all of them, considering she’s a mother now. He doesn’t know why he moved back to Capeside or why he puts up with Doug’s refusal to leave the closet. Jen understands his fear over changing. At the Leerys’, Dawson tries to write his season finale, then hears someone coming up the ladder. For some reason, he thinks it’s an intruder and not the obvious visitor, Joey. Meanwhile, Pacey closes up the restaurant, then gets his own visitor: Maddy’s husband and some thugs, who beat him up.
Joey and Dawson talk about their lives, including Joey’s relationship with Christopher and Dawson’s lack of a social life. She thinks he should wait to worry about that sort of thing since he’s living his dream right now. Dawson, however, isn’t sure why he’s slumming in TV when he always wanted to make movies. Joey points out that “dreams come true, not free.” She starts to go back to the bed and breakfast, but Dawson invites her spend the night (no, not like that).
In what’s clearly a dream, Joey (in a wedding dress) and Dawson (in a tux) recap the whole series in front of a bunch of wedding attendants. After they kiss, they turn into Colby and Sam, and Dawson wakes up. He’s in bed alone. After the real wedding, Gail and her new husband cut the cake. Pacey avoids Maddy and finds Jen taking pills, which she says are for anxiety. She compares him to George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life because he has everything before him but doesn’t want to be happy. He needs to realize that his life is fine and make the most of it.
Gail finds Dawson writing and accuses him of trying to hide from his friends. She caught Joey climbing down the ladder that morning. Dawson admits that he feels like he’s falling back into his past – his former life has become his present. Gail points out that since he’s the writer, he gets to tell his life however he wants. He goes to talk to Joey, but Pacey gets to her first and asks her to dance. Jack apologizes to Doug for their fight but says they can’t stay in their little bubble forever. Neither can be on the other’s schedule, so Jack thinks they should end things now.
Joey tries to get Pacey to tell her where the cut over his eye came from, but he avoids the subject. Jen cuts in to dance with Pacey and gets Dawson to dance with Joey. Joey tries to explain why she left that morning, and Dawson teases her for rambling. Jen asks to change partners again, so when Maddy comes back out to the dance floor, she sees Pacey dancing with Joey. Joey catches her watching them and puts the pieces together. Pacey asks her to help him out, then kisses her. Before the kissing can continue, Jen collapses.
Grams tells someone to get Jen’s pills, but Pacey says he just saw her take one. Grams announces that they need an ambulance – Jen is sick with some sort of heart ailment. Everyone ends up at the hospital, and Grams tells Jen’s friends that she’s had an abnormality her whole life but it didn’t come to light until she got pregnant. She doesn’t think this is anything serious. However, Jack didn’t even know there was a problem. Once Jen is stable, Grams sends everyone home, then goes off to call Helen.
Pacey drives Dawson and Joey home, and though the guys are optimistic, Joey thinks something’s really wrong. Christopher calls and Joey uses Jen’s illness as an excuse to stay in Capeside longer than she’d planned. Jack’s still at the hospital, where Grams is suddenly not so hopeful. Jack visits Jen and she admits that she didn’t tell him she was sick because she wanted to avoid dealing with it. Things started out all right, but now there’s nothing the doctors can do for her. Jen wants to do things right now, and that includes finally asking for help. Jack spreads the word about Jen’s condition and Joey ends up looking for comfort from Dawson.
Thoughts: Christopher is played by Jeremy Sisto. I know, weird, right?
Also weird: Maddy is played by Virginia Madsen. If it makes you feel any better, this was pre-Sideways Virginia Madsen. If it had been post-Sideways Virginia Madsen, it would be a lot more embarrassing for her.
After all those years of Pacey’s gay slurs, Doug is actually gay? I can’t believe it.
’90s music alert: Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be.” Which is weird, since this episode was filmed five years after that song came out and takes place five years after that.
So Jen was just, like, “I’m dying but I’m not goingt o make sure my daughter’s taken care of”? Um, okay.
November 24, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.18, Love Bites: Dance Dance Revelation
YOU IDIOT! LOOK WHAT YOU’RE GIVING UP! AHHHHHHHH!
Summary: Joey and Eddie are staring at each other at Hell’s Kitchen. He starts the writing workshop in the fall, and he’s come back to Boston to thank Joey for helping him get in. He appreciates that she did something so great for him even after he hurt her. If he’s going to be a writer, he wants her around. Joey reminds him that he walked away, and Eddie reminds her that he came back. She tells him she moved on. She tries to apologize but he’s already out the door.
The next day, Harley looks through Joey’s closet, trying to find Joey something to wear when she chaperones Harley’s school formal. Joey doesn’t remember agreeing to chaperone. Harley’s still a little worried about Patrick’s obsession with Joey, but Joey promises not to do anything with him. Over at Grams’, Jen and C.J. have worked out their sex problems and have moved on to talking about Grams, who apparent broke C.J.’s Uncle Bill’s heart. Jen says she’ll find out what happened.
Pacey calls Joey, who apparently never let him know the previous night that she wasn’t coming over after all. He wants to go out that night, but she’s going to Harley’s dance. Pacey realizes Joey will be dressed up and looking pretty, so he invites himself along. Dawson shows up at Pacey’s office with all his money from Todd’s movie – he wants Pacey to help him turn it into more money so he can finance his movie. Pacey’s hesitant to mix business with friendship. Dawson’s instincts are telling him this is a good idea, though.
Jen confronts Grams about ending things with Bill, noting the irony of Grams acting like a teenager while Jen is embarking on a real adult relationship. Grams doesn’t want to talk. Joey looks at pictures of her various exes before Pacey arrives with a couple of corsage options. One is for the fun-loving Joey and one is for the romantic, classical Joey. She picks the radish/carrot “fun-loving” corsage. She also has a rose for him.
Five seconds after getting to the dance, Harley starts complaining, since apparently Patrick isn’t going to dance. Joey says she knows how she feels, since Pacey isn’t a dancer either. Also, he broke up with her at their senior prom. Pacey offers to dance with Harley while Joey tries to fend off Patrick.
Dawson heads to Capeside and puts all his old movie posters up in his bedroom, for “inspiration.” Gail would like to know what he plans to do for money (and not just because she would like rent). Dawson thinks his movie will bring in enough to finance the next one. Gail asks if he has a plan B. He doesn’t know what that phrase means. She points out that making a hit movie is kind of a long shot, so he needs to be practical.
Harley dances with another guy, trying to make Patrick jealous. Joey and Pacey discuss their past prom disaster, and he says he’s glad he got a second chance. Joey completely fails to tell him about Eddie. Patrick gets in a fight with Jamie, the guy Harley was dancing with, and Joey has to remind Pacey that they’re supposed to be the adults there, so he needs to break it up. Harley ends up crying in the bathroom, wondering if Patrick said anything to Pacey about her.
Not really, but Pacey’s giving him a lecture about being an idiot. He tells Patrick to just ask Harley to dance. Joey assures Harley that she’s going through the same thing many girls have gone through, including Joey herself. Harley says that if her high school experiences are the same as Joey’s, she’s doing something wrong. Patrick tells Pacey that he does like Harley; Pacey tells him that having real feelings for a girl will make him a better person. He needs to be nice to her and tell her he likes her.
Joey admits to Harley that she’s had a bad experience at every dance she’s gone to, except this one. She heads to the boys’ bathroom, where Pacey and Patrick are goofing around. Patrick isn’t sure why he should take advice from Pacey, since he’s not exactly the greatest with girls. Pacey points out that he got Joey to go to a dance with him.
Jen relays a message from a doctor to Grams, wondering why she’s seeing a doctor Jen has never heard of. Grams tells her to stop digging for drama. Jen notes that Grams always makes her talk when she’s feeling mopey, so Jen’s repaying the favor. Grams confides that she has a malignant tumor in her breast. She’ll be starting radiation next week because the cancer has spread too far for surgery. Jen is shocked, but Grams doesn’t offer any comfort.
Pacey and Joey agree that the night has been nice, but Joey quickly ruins it by announcing that being with him doesn’t feel right. It’s not him, it’s her, basically. Pacey thinks she’s just scared about where things will go; he is, too. Joey feels sure that it’s not going anywhere. He thinks she’s just pushing him away the way she always pushes people away. He knows his feelings for her are the greatest thing he’s ever felt. He’s sure he can love her again. Joey silences him by announcing that Eddie’s back.
Dawson keeps trying to write something, eventually turning on the TV to watch Creek Days. Gail checks on him and he mentions that he appreciated the support he got from his family and friends when he worked on that piece. He admits that he doesn’t have a plan B, and never will. Gail suggests that he go back to film school to make sure he’s really committed. Dawson points out that he spent a year as a gopher; if that didn’t kill his dream, nothing will. Plus, school costs money. He wants Gail to believe that he’ll fulfill his dream.
Gail launches into a story about the time Mitch tried to make gum in their kitchen. Dawson was five and served as sous chef, but something happened that resulted in his parents having to shave his head. Gail thought Mitch’s dream was based on his love of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Even though the experience drove Gail crazy, she also admired it, and the way he was willing to do crazy things to make his life the way he thought he could be when he was a kid. In other words, she supports Dawson.
Jen finds Grams in the kitchen, baking, and tells her it’s okay to be scared. Grams doesn’t think it will do any good. Jen asks what she can do to help, and not just in the kitchen. Grams wants to deal with it on her own. Jen thinks they both need someone to take care of them. Grams tries to assure her that she could go into remission and live a long time. She promises that she’s not going anywhere because she’s not ready to die yet.
Patrick finally dances with Harley, promising that he didn’t come just to get in her pants. He didn’t want to have to think about her coming there with another guy. Pacey and Joey dance, but it’s pretty depressing. Joey ends up at Eddie’s house, kissing him, so I guess they’re back together or whatever. Hooray.
Thoughts: You guys, I’ve been spelling Gail’s name wrong this whole time. Oh, well, too late to change it.
Pacey wonders what kind of school dance has a punch bowl. What kind of school dance doesn’t have one?
Dreams are great, Dawson, but you MUST HAVE A PLAN B. Otherwise you end up living in a cardboard box.
Joey, you’re an idiot. I don’t care how cute or charming or talented Eddie is. You’re choosing him over PACEY. Unacceptable.
Once again, no Kerr Smith. Poor guy.
November 10, 2012
Dawson’s Creek 6.16, That Was Then: “I Wanna Go Back. I Wanna Start Over”
Boy’s name, clownish boyfriend, absentee father…do you get it?
Summary: Pacey tries to find something on TV, looks out his window, and starts to leave. He runs into Joey, who he says he was just on his way to see. Pacey tries to avoid any kind of meaningful conversation, but Joey wants to talk about what happened the last time they talked, when he told her he’s still in love with her.
Joey says that when she was younger and read Choose Your Own Adventure books, she would cheat so she could always get a happy ending. Pacey tells her that they’re not kids anymore, and he can handle whatever decision she makes. He also wants them to be able to be together without thinking about their history. Joey clarifies that he wants a clean slate. She agrees that they’ve changed and they decide to do some thinking. However, she also wants a plan.
On campus, Hetson talks to Joey about wanting to date so he doesn’t die alone. He says Harley’s been “extra-loopy” lately and has put pictures of boys on her ceiling. Joey assures him that Harley’s normal. Hetson would prefer if Harley were more like Joey – especially if it means she didn’t have a boyfriend. Joey warns that if Hetson gets too strict about boys, Harley will rebel. He asks what her high school boyfriend was like. She just says that people change.
Dawson’s at Capeside High to talk to Mr. Gold’s film class. He spent some time preparing by watching his old movies, and now he regrets it. Pacey gets a call at work from his mom and rushes to Capeside, where his father is in the hospital after suffering an arrhythmia. Doug’s annoyed with him for some reason.
Dawson shows Mr. Gold’s students his and Todd’s movie, then takes questions. One of the students, George, is basically a mini-Dawson and asks Dawson to watch his movie. Dawson is freaked out by being called Mr. Leery. In Boston, Joey asks Harley to go easier on her father; otherwise she’ll spend her teen years stuck in the house. After she leaves the room, a guy named Patrick bursts out of Harley’s closet. Joey returns and finds them kissing.
At the hospital, Pacey gets his father a private room, but Doug snipes at him for throwing money around. He’s shaken over having seen Sheriff Witter fall over during breakfast, since neither has seen their father off-guard before. Pacey admits that he forgot that Sheriff Witter has real feelings. (He probably forgot that Doug has real feelings, too.)
Joey questions Harley’s claims that Patrick is her study partner by trying to get them to actually study. Patrick tries to suck up to her, but she knows he’s “harmless” and that his sweet talk is just talk. Back in Capeside, Pacey tries to call Joey but gets her voicemail. Then Doug calls him in to see their father, who regrets that Pacey had to put his life on hold to come see him. However, Sheriff Witter’s happy to see him and wants him to stay, apparently instead of Doug.
Dawson watches George’s movie but doesn’t give an immediate response. George thinks that means he’s going to tear the film apart. Dawson notes that he’s new at this and is having trouble finding profound things to say to film students. He adds that though the movie needs work, George should keep going and trust himself. He’s already learned the things that can’t be taught.
Dawson tells him to remember what it’s like to be able to make a movie about something he loves. George teases that he already seems like a burnout. He liked Creek Daze and thought it had heart, something that can’t be lost. Pacey tries to talk to Sheriff Witter about his help, but Sheriff Witter thinks everyone needs to calm down, especially Doug. He’s more worried about what the time away from the office will do to Pacey’s job. Pacey doesn’t care – he wants to be with his father.
Patrick tries to sweet-talk Joey again, but Harley’s annoyed by his apparent crush. Joey tries to keep the peace, and Harley calls her Helen, as in Helen of Troy. She tears into Patrick for all the annoying things he’s done, and he defends himself by saying he was keeping his options open. Harley tells him to take her off his list of options.
Speaking of people who are annoyed with other people, here’s Doug. Pacey calls him out on being mad that he’s trying to help the family. Doug’s mad that Pacey is only a member of the family when it’s convenient. He brings everyone gifts, pretends to be one of them, and leaves. Pacey says he wants to leave his past as the family failure behind.
Pacey continues that Doug just wants Pacey around so he can remind himself he’s still the good son. Pacey continues that he had to leave town because he hated how their family treated him. He came back to let Sheriff Witter know that he doesn’t hold a grudge. Part of him thinks this crisis might actually be a good thing. Doug tells him to enjoy the situation while it lasts.
Harley locks herself in her room while Patrick tells Joey that he tried to treat Harley normally but felt weird. He’d rather be the funny one because at least it gets her attention. Joey finds that familiar and says that guys are all the same. Then Patrick hits on her again. Joey tells him that Harley’s a great girl, and if she’s smart, she’ll ditch him. She advises him to leave, forget about Joey, and come up with a grand gesture to win Harley back.
Pacey decides to leave the hospital for the night, but first he tells Sheriff Witter that Doug was the one who got him the private room. In Boston, Joey finally gets into Harley’s room and assures her that she has no interest in Patrick. She also thinks Patrick isn’t really interested in her but was just testing things. Harley knows but doesn’t get why he would test something that’s already unstable.
Joey tells Harley that looking back, her problems with Pacey seem small and her issues with Dawson seem “unnecessary.” (Preach it, sister.) Harley wants to know how she can skip all the drama. Joey says she wonders why things are different, like her relationship with Eddie. As a teen, you think everything’s much more important than it is. As an adult, you take a deep breath and give yourself a chance to make mistakes.
Joey advises Harley to listen to Patrick because he might have something to say that changes her mind about him. Harley wonders why Joey didn’t go to California with Eddie if her relationship with him is so different from her failed ones. Joey says it’s about her and what she’s ready for. But she won’t tell Harley what that is.
Instead of going home, Pacey goes to the Leerys’, where he and Dawson are both surprised to see each other. They talk briefly about Sheriff Witter, a conversation with some unspoken subtext about Mitch. Pacey admits to wanting to let someone else take care of the crisis. He feels like he’s been playing the role of who he is now for so long that he forgot how he got there.
Dawson understands, since he got called Mr. Leery today. He tells Pacey about his visit to the film class and how it made him realize that he doesn’t know anything. Pacey gets that. “I wanna go back. I wanna start over,” Dawson says. Pacey wouldn’t mind that, but he’d mostly like to see where things went wrong.
Dawson mentions his failed relationships, which Pacey thinks are good for finding inspiration for his movies. Dawson replies that now that he has distance and can look at those relationships, he can’t afford to make movies. Pacey jokingly says that Dawson’s the kind of person he deals with every day at work. Dawson invites him in for coffee.
Joey goes home to her dorm and calls Pacey, getting his voicemail. She admits that she hasn’t made a decision about them, and she thinks it’s because she’s trying to do it alone. They should work things out together. If she could go back, she would change a lot of things, and she’s glad she has the chance now. Joey promises not to live in the past, instead thinking about the possibilities before them.
Thoughts: Patrick is played by Taylor Handley, Oliver from The O.C., if that means anything to you.
Pacey uses a pay phone and calling card. How cute.
Instead of telling George not to do drugs, Dawson tells him not to do sports. Heh.
I like that Pacey and Dawson didn’t have some big, dramatic reconcialition scene. Three seasons ago, they would have. But the theme of the episode is moving forward and not living in the past, so it makes sense that they would move on from that kind of thing, too.
What did Michelle Williams and Kerr Smith do to deserve all this lack of screentime? At least Michelle was probably doing a movie. Who knows what Kerr did during his time off?
October 10, 2012
SVH Saga, The Patmans of Sweet Valley: Patman Begins
I don’t like the way that cowboy is looking at me
Summary: 1825-1846: Sophie Edmonton, daughter of an English duke, falls in love with a stable hand named Henry Patman. (Sigh.) Since he’s poor, she has to keep the relationship from her father. Sophie and Henry plan to elope, but her sister Melanie reads her diary and tells their father what they’re planning. Henry winds up deported and Sophie winds up with a lord. Meanwhile, Henry goes to New York and wins a plantation in a poker game.
1851-1852: Sophie’s daughter Emma runs away from a planned marriage so she can become an actress in London. She changes her name to Vanessa and doesn’t tell anyone her father’s an earl. She lives with a guy named Patrick, who falls in love with her and proposes, and though she accepts at first, she ultimately leaves to join a traveling troupe. She falls in love with the director, who is secretly the son of a marquess. Why are all these rich people pretending not to be rich?
1861-1864: There’s this really boring section about James Patman (Henry’s son) disagreeing with his family about slavery being wrong, then helping free slaves via the Underground Railroad. He marries a former slave named Hope and she gets pregnant, but before she can have the baby, she’s murdered. (This was the only part of the book I had any kind of emotional connection to. Everything else was bleh.) James goes back home and learns that his whole family’s dead. Cheerful!
1886: Katherine (granddaughter of Emma) is an up-and-coming teenage actress. She travels to America with the Royal Shakespeare Company and falls in love with James’ son John in Kansas. The night she’s supposed to leave, he plans to meet her at the train station and propose. But there’s a robbery at the bar where John works and Katherine leaves on a train just before he can get to her. She’s hurt because she thought John stood her up, but she reads about the hold-up in the newspaper and goes back to Kansas. She’s too late, though – John has already split town. Oh, and her whole family is dead, too, because of a fire. What’s up with people’s whole families getting wiped out?
1890-1893: John goes to Texas and hooks up with a cowgirl named Samantha (no relation to this Samantha). Just as he’s about to head to another city to look for work, since their ranch isn’t doing well, they find oil.
1924-1927: William (one of John and Samantha’s kids) marries Helena and they have a son named Paul who dies when he’s just few weeks old. Hold on to that thought.
1941-1945: Katherine has a daughter named Cassandra, who becomes a doctor and works at a hospital in Europe during World War II. She falls in love with a wounded solder named Spencer and gets pregnant. But Spencer returns to the war and is killed in battle, and the news makes Cassandra miscarry. In 1945, Spencer’s best friend Peter looks Cassandra up and they get together. She’s supposedly not able to have any more kids, but has two anyway, Marie and Peter.
Meanwhile, a guy named Reginald Rainier starts working for William and becomes like a son to him. Helena meets him and thinks he looks like William. Some digging turns up a very soap operaish story: Reginald and Paul (William and Helena’s son, remember) were switched at birth, and Reginald is really a Patman. So now Reginald has money and marries his girlfriend May, who, if you ask me is a little too interested in his sudden inheritance. They name their first child Henry, after Reginald’s adoptive father. (They later have a son named Paul – that would be Roger Barrett Patman’s father – and I thought it was sweet that they named him after William and Helena’s late “son.”)
1960s: The two families come together again – Henry and Marie go to high school together and get engaged their senior year. She learns she has leukemia and thinks she’s going to die, so she breaks up with Henry in a letter. He’s in California at the time and decides to go to college there instead of Harvard. As we know, he gets together with Alice but she dumps him for Ned. A few years later, Marie moves to L.A. and runs into Henry. She finally tells him about her illness and recovery, and he forgives her for lying. They quickly get engaged, get married, and have everyone’s favorite potential rapist, Bruce.
Thoughts: Henry’s not just a stable hand, he’s a stable hand who says, “As you wish.” I think we all know who that character is based on.
Find me one person who cares what Bruce Patman’s great-great-grand-something thought about slavery. I dare you. I mean, there’s a whole chapter of the family fighting about secession. SO BORING.
I know people didn’t live as long in the past, but did they all have to get married after two months of dating? Because pretty much everyone in this book (and the other sagas) practically runs to the altar. And these aren’t even shotgun weddings.
Bruce’s ancestors are all better people than he is. And Marie and Hank seem like normal people, so I can’t figure out where they went wrong with the kid.
September 30, 2012
BH90210 4.19, The Labors of Love: If I Were a Rich Man
This is Dylan’s “I’m going to save the day” face
Summary: Kelly drives Andrea to a clinic for her abortion, asking her if she’s sure she’s made up her mind. Andrea’s surprised to find herself in this position since she usually does everything by the book. She tells the doctor she speaks to that she’s already settled on having an abortion and wants it ASAP. The doctor tells her she has to wait. She asks if the baby’s father knows, and Andrea says he only knows about the pregnancy, not the abortion.
Brandon, Dylan, and Nat’s cousin Joey are all at the hospital as Nat’s about to have surgery. Brandon’s in his Peach Pit uniform, so we know what he’s been doing. David’s supposed to be working there, but he overslept. Kelly gets him some clothes and finds drugs in his dresser. David gives the “I was just holding it for someone else” story. Kelly’s too smart to fall for it. The two of them fight, but Donna feels the need to apologize. Kelly threatens to move out and make Donna go with her.
Andrea goes to Jesse’s to tell him she’s decided to have an abortion. He wants to be part of the decision, though it’s less about making a decision and more about him planning for them to get married and have the baby. Andrea points out that she’s not even 20. She thinks the pregnancy is just a mistake. Jesse doesn’t see it that way, telling her that if she has the abortion, she should just stay away from him. So this is clearly a stable, healthy relationship.
Kelly leaves Dylan a message telling him she needs to stay with him for a while. Donna will be living at Alpha house. She doesn’t get Kelly’s idea of tough love, since she thinks leaving David alone will just make things worse. Kelly argues that they’ve been enabling him and need to leave him to fend for himself. Donna says making him pay rent on his own isn’t fair. “And bringing drugs into the house is fair?” Kelly asks.
Brenda’s taking a class with Lucinda, who lets her know that she’s now divorced from Professor Randall. Kelly and Donna arrive a little late, but Andrea skips the class. Brenda brings Brandon dinner at the hospital, relaying the message that Lucinda says hello. She adds that Lucinda’s now single.
Dylan helps Kelly move her things into his house, then welcomes Donna as an additional guest since there’s no room for her at Alpha. She wants to go back to the beach apartment and give David the benefit of the doubt about the drugs. She also isn’t sure how David could have a drug problem when he just started using. Kelly and Dylan try to convince her that he has a real addiction. Speaking of which, David visits Howard in search of drugs. Instead, he gets fired from his show.
Brandon falls asleep at the hospital, dreaming that he’s a patient there because he’s exhausted himself. Fortunately, Nurse Lucinda is there to tend to him. Joey wakes him up to tell him Nat’s surgery went fine. Over at the Walsh house, Jim offers to cook dinner since Cindy will be too busy working on a paper. Cindy declines the offer. Jim ribs Brandon about actually going to class, and Brandon reminds him that he promised to help at the Peach Pit until Nat’s back at work. Jim points out that that might never happen.
Suzanne’s also working at the diner now, discussing ownership with Joey and Dylan. She knows the kids can’t run the place on their own while going to school and trying to have social lives. Joey agrees, noting that the diner is in bad financial condition even without Nat being gone. He’s still considering selling it. Of course, he just needs a buyer. Gee, I wonder who has a lot of money and a vested interest in the diner, and also happens to be sitting right next to Joey?
On campus, Brandon chats with the dean, who hopes he works out his schedule so he can spend more time with the new taskforce. They run into Lucinda, and she and Brandon pretend they’ve never met. She heads to class with quilts to teach her students that quilting was how women used to share history. Andrea rushes out of class with morning sickness and Kelly tends to her.
Dylan goes to Jim’s office to announce that he wants to buy the Peach Pit. (Wow, I am SHOCKED!) Jim doesn’t think it’s a good investment. Dylan disagrees, adding that Suzanne’s experience will help keep the diner going. He also doesn’t care if things go south since he can afford the risk. Jim doesn’t get the diner’s appeal to all the kids. He can’t really say no, though, so Dylan’s getting his money.
David tries to buy drugs from some student with a check. No dice. At the hospital, Brandon learns that Dylan bought out Joey and is now Nat’s business partner. Brandon doesn’t seem as happy as he should be. Later, Dylan, Steve, Kelly, and Donna celebrate at the diner, and Dylan puts Suzanne in charge of hiring new staff. David stops by to ask his former roommates about rent. Kelly tells him it’s his problem now. Donna reluctantly sides with her, then follows David out to secretly give him money (which he’s totally going to spend on drugs).
Brenda correctly guesses that Brandon feels left out about the Peach Pit sale. He says it’s like he was trying to win a football game, but Dylan came out of nowhere to score the touchdown. Brenda points out that they’re all on the same team. Kelly and Andrea hang out in Andrea’s room, discussing Jesse’s lack of communication since Andrea last saw him. She feels guilty for wanting a family someday, but not now. Kelly encourages her to do what’s best for herself.
As Kelly’s leaving, she runs into David, whose dealer lives in Andrea’s dorm. Andrea tries to explain to her unborn child (and herself) that the baby isn’t unwanted; she just doesn’t want to be a mother right now. Just as she’s breaking down, Jesse shows up and apologizes for his reaction to her news. He thinks she’s already had the abortion but wants her back anyway. Andrea tells him she thinks she’s changed her mind.
At the Walshes’, Jim tells Brandon he’s proud of how he stepped up at the diner, but Brandon’s too bitter to care. He knows Jim had to have had a part in Dylan buying out Joey. He also wonders if Jim thinks Brandon will be “rich and powerful” someday. Jim says he could be, and the taskforce might be the way for him to get there. Brandon’s mad that no matter what Dylan does, he’ll always have money.
At the hospital, Brandon takes a shot at Dylan for having money, but Dylan says it’s not as great as it sounds, since he doesn’t know what to do with it. Yeah, that must be rough, Dylan. Are your diamond shoes too tight, too? Of course, the guys can’t stay mad at each other for too long, so they go to the Peach Pit to hang out with Kelly, Donna, and Brenda.
Andrea and Jesse arrive to officially announce her pregnancy…and their engagement. Kelly asks what made Andrea change her mind; she says the baby itself did. She and Jesse agree that they don’t care what they have, as long as it’s not twins. “What’s wrong with twins?” Brandon and Brenda ask simultaneously.
Donna calls David to give him the news, but David’s back at his dealer’s, where the drug of the night is heroin. As he debates whether or not to partake, Brandon goes to Lucinda’s house to make sure he wasn’t part of the reason she and Randall split up. She says she’d like them to be friends, but I don’t make out with my friends like the two of them do.
Thoughts: So was Andrea going to have the abortion, tell Jesse about it, and expect him to be okay with it? Like I said, nice relationship they have there.
The better solution for David’s issues would be for Kelly and Donna to kick him out. But this way they don’t have to pay rent.
I think there’s only one guy in Lucinda’s class. I had classes like that in college, like my women’s lit course. Things got a little personal in there, and I always felt bad for the two or three guys because I knew they had to be uncomfortable at times.
Whatever, Jim, diners are awesome.
Yes, Brandon, Dylan has money, but he also has an absentee mother and a dead father. And it’s not like you’re living on the street or anything. You have a house, a car (your own – not one you have to borrow from your parents), and college tuition. So shut it.
I like Kelly being such a good friend to Andrea. Though now Kelly’s taking over Dylan’s role of truth-speaker/moral compass/do-the-right-thing-encourager.
September 23, 2012
BH90210 4.18, Heartbreaker: Peachy Keen
Ha ha, you can’t eat these anymore!
Summary: Brandon puts on a suit to go to CU’s administrative building and meet with the dean. He’s been chosen as the school’s representative for a taskforce on higher education. At the end of the semester, the taskforce will go to D.C. and meet the president. Let’s forget about the fact that Brandon’s a freshman and no one on campus knows him. Donna sums it up at a Peach Pit celebration: “The world just loves Brandon.”
Cindy announces at the celebration that she’s been accepted into CU’s master’s program in child and family counseling. Brenda hopes she won’t keep going and get a Ph.D., because apparently that’s a bad thing. But enough about Cindy – let’s get back to fawning over Brandon. Nat’s proud that he gave Brandon his first job. Dylan asks Nat to think about hiring Suzanne, and Nat tells him to bring her in.
Donna and Kelly talk about David, who’s still living with them. Donna’s keeping hope alive, unaware of what Kelly knows about David’s drug problems. He’s now also seeing a psychiatrist. David tells said psychiatrist that he’s on academic probation and wants Donna back. He also swears that he’s stopped taking drugs. When he gets home, he decides to admit his drug use to Donna. He apologizes for his behavior and promises to fix things between them.
Andrea approaches Kelly at the student union and reveals that she’s pregnant. She asks if Kelly has ever had to have an abortion, which Kelly manages to not get offended by. Andrea knows exactly when the baby was conceived – the one and only time she and Jesse didn’t use protection. She isn’t sure how Jesse will react if she decides to get an abortion, since he’s Catholic. Kelly notes that he wasn’t too Catholic not to have premarital sex. She promises her support no matter what Andrea decides.
Dylan brings Suzanne to the Peach Pit to meet Nat, and he hires her immediately based on her references, which I’m sure are all completely legit. Dylan’s pleased that she’ll be putting down roots in Beverly Hills, so Erica will stay close by. As Nat’s giving Suzanne a quick tour, he has a heart attack and stops breathing. Dylan and Brandon jump into action and give him CPR. Nat’s cousin Joey meets the guys at the hospital and learns that Nat needs bypass surgery.
The next day, Joey takes over at the Peach Pit but doesn’t want to tell any suppliers that Nat’s out of commission. Brandon helps him out, having basically run the place during the summer. On campus, Andrea prepares to tell Jesse about her pregnancy, but he thinks she’s going to break up with him. Once he’s sure she’s not, he shares his own news: He’s gotten a clerkship in San Francisco. Andrea can’t so no to spending the summer there with him.
Even with all his other problems, David still has to worry about his radio show, which Donna thinks he should stop. Steve volunteers to sub for him, and Donna supports the idea; if she can do it, he can do it. David reluctantly agrees. Brandon and Dylan visit Nat, who’s grateful that they saved his life. He’s not grateful, however, that Joey’s in charge of the diner, since he doesn’t know how to keep things running smoothly.
Back at home, Brenda complains to Brandon that Cindy’s everywhere she goes on campus. (Shut up, Brenda.) Brandon admits that if Nat didn’t have the diner to go back to, he’s not sure Nat would have anything to live for. Brenda shares that she overheard a conversation between Joey and Jim – Joey owns 50 percent of the Peach Pit, and Jim thinks he should sell it. Never fear, the Amazing Brandon will save the day!
“Steve Silver” does David’s radio show, replacing music with a conversation about technology and the future. More specifically, he calls a phone sex line. “He needs a hobby,” Donna remarks. David puts allowing Steve to do the show on his long list of mistakes. On the plus side, he and Donna are able to have an actual conversation, and he admits that he’s missed her. They start kissing but stop themselves when they hear the music on the radio skipping. Steve’s locked himself out of the booth.
In the morning, Brenda’s annoying about Cindy again, and probably not just because Cindy won’t be making breakfast for the family anymore. Jim tells him about his suggestion that Joey sell the Peach Pit. Brandon considers that Joey stabbing Nat in the back. Jim notes that it’s Joey’s business, too, and without another partner, there isn’t enough money coming in. Cindy says Joey probably just wants what’s best for Nat. Brandon suggests that they actually, you know, ask Nat what he wants.
Andrea tells Kelly that she didn’t share her news with Jesse, since it “didn’t come up.” She’s decided to make an appointment for an abortion. Kelly asks if she ever dealt with pregnant girls when she worked on the teen hotline. She needs to be honest like she told them to be. Brandon visits Nat, who’s better physically but knows that Joey wants to sell. He’s pretty much resigned himself to that idea, but Brandon thinks it’s a bad one.
David tells Kelly that things are going better with Donna, and whether they get back together or not, they at least have a shot at making things work. Kelly warns that Jackie thought things would be easier than they were when she was getting off drugs. David gets another sub (this time someone with actual radio experience), but when he’s looking through Howard’s desk, he grabs some drugs.
Brandon stops by Andrea’s dorm room to announce that he’s thinking about running the Peach Pit himself. He still wants to stay on the taskforce and meet the president, and he knows if it were Andrea in his position, she’d find a way to do everything. He realizes that Andrea’s upset, and she tells him she’s pregnant. She doesn’t want to tell Jesse she plans to get an abortion because she’s afraid of losing him. Brandon assures her that Jesse loves her and won’t leave her.
David decides to keep his radio shift after all, mostly so he can do drugs without Donna knowing. Brenda’s suddenly okay with Cindy going to CU and gives her a bunch of school stuff. Brandon has now informed Jim of his plans to run the Peach Pit, and Jim is exactly as angry as you would expect. Brandon says Nat is the only person he knows who has never disappointed him.
Andrea goes to Jesse’s and finally tells him she’s pregnant. She’s even written it down in case she couldn’t say the words. She spent the drive over wondering if she really knew how Jesse feels about her. He assures her that she does know. Brandon wakes up at 5 a.m. (to David’s meth-fueled radio show), wondering if he’s crazy. Brenda disagrees with me by telling him he isn’t. As Brandon prepares to open the diner by himself, his friends (minus the pregnant one and the high one) arrive to help.
Thought: Brandon wears a suit for the majority of the episode. Shut up, Brandon’s wardrobe.
“Somehow I started doing crystal meth.” Yes, David. “Somehow.”
Jesse thought Andrea was going to dump him, so he…set up a picnic? Was he going to stay and have the picnic himself if she had dumped him?
If Brandon were always as un-self-righteous and nonjudgmental as he is when he talks to Andrea about Jesse, he’d be half as annoying. But then, of course, he’d just screw it up, like he does with his “disappointed” remark. Maybe you should be nicer to the man who pays your tuition, Brandon.
I love that David keeps putting the meth in orange juice, so whenever he drinks juice, it’s supposed to be ominous. I just can’t get negative vibes about orange juice, you know?
Hmmm, who do we know who has a ton of money and could keep the diner going? Who do we know?…
