May 5, 2013
BH90210 5.26, A Song for My Mother: Portlandia
Oh, David, those flowers aren’t for you, silly
Summary: Ray meets Donna at the airport in Portland, and poor David has to watch them kiss hello. Ray didn’t know he was tagging along to visit his mother. Back in Beverly Hills, Dylan accompanies Valerie to a tattoo parlor, complaining the whole time. She knows he’s cranky because his and Charlie’s screenplay isn’t going well. Dylan’s planning to visit Charlie’s former hypnotherapist so he can learn more to apply to their protagonist. Valerie chickens out on the tattoo.
In Portland, David goes to visit his mother at work, but learns that Sheila was fired a while ago for not showing up on time (and in some cases, at all). Next he heads to her apartment, but someone else is living there. The building manager says she left two months ago after failing to pay her rent for four months.
Dylan meets the hypnotherapist, Dr. Campbell, who has a really nice house despite living in the middle of an area destroyed by fires and mudslides. She tells Dylan the house is still standing because of luck and fate – and this isn’t the first time she’s survived a fire. Dylan thinks she’s talking about a previous lifetime. Dr. Campbell tells him that she used to be in advertising, but one day she was hypnotized and started on a new journey. Or an old one, really, because she’s been “channeling travelers” for hundreds of years.
Donna and Ray’s reunion makeout session is interrupted by David, who’s distressed about not being able to find Sheila. She left a bunch of mail behind in her apartment, including alimony checks from Mel. Donna’s surprised that Mel didn’t say anything about his checks not being cashed. Ray has little sympathy, I guess because his relationship with his mom is good. Also, because he’s a jerk. Donna asks if they can borrow his truck, but Ray refuses. Because he’s a jerk.
Ray goes off to his club while Donna stays behind with David to follow a lead. He found a flier for a Valentine’s Day gathering at a bar Sheila used to frequent. The bartender hasn’t seen her for a while, but another patron reports that he recently saw her at a hotel, “setting up shop.” David and Donna go to the hotel and learn that Sheila was arrested for disorderly conduct. David doesn’t understand what’s happened to his formerly posh mom. Donna advises him to call Mel.
David makes the call from a police station, then reports to Donna that Mel didn’t sound surprise. A police officer tells them that no one pressed charges against Sheila, so they let her go. It’s been six weeks and no one’s seen her since. The police can’t do anything until 48 hours after Sheila was reported missing. The officer suggests that they check homeless shelters. David tries to send Donna off to Ray’s club to see him perform, but she wants to keep helping him look for Sheila. You can guess how that goes over with Ray.
Donna and David head to a shelter but have no luck. Next they make missing-person posters, and David berates himself for not being more involved in his mother’s life. Donna wonders why she moved to Portland when she doesn’t know anyone there. David tells her that Sheila used to say she was tired of pretending to be happy in California; she preferred the rainy weather in Portland. In bed in Beverly Hills, Dylan teases Valerie about her still-yet-uninked tattoo, and she teases him back about wanting to be hypnotized.
Ray and Donna fight about her spending so much time with David, but Donna is unapologetic about trying to help her friend, not to mention the guy who saved her from Garrett. Ray snaps at her to go sleep with him, then, mockingly saying that he forgot that she won’t sleep with anyone. Donna starts to leave but he pushes her back onto the bed. She tries again, and this time he knocks her into the door. He apologizes (not sounding sincere), saying it was an accident, but Donna leaves anyway.
Ray follows her to David’s hotel room, but Donna’s locked herself in the bathroom and won’t talk to him. David doesn’t know what’s going on. Ray gives him the keys to his truck to use the next morning. David assures him that he didn’t come to Portland to drive a wedge between Donna and Ray. Donna emerges from the bathroom and goes back to her and Ray’s hotel room. Ray apologizes to Donna again, promising he would never do anything to hurt her. He just loves her so much and was scared he was going to lose her.
The next day, David and Donna meet Mel at the airport, and he tries to ease David’s anxieties about Sheila. David says that the police think she’s crazy. Mel informs him that Sheila was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been on lithium since David was a kid. David’s upset that no one told him (and they should have, since there’s a history of mental illness in Sheila’s family). Sheila never wanted him to know because she didn’t want him to see her fall apart.
Mel continues that Sheila was stable for years, but stopped taking her medication while David was at camp one summer. She went on a shopping spree, then smashed all the china when Mel confronted her. When David came home, she acted like nothing was wrong. David asks why Mel didn’t think anything was wrong when Sheila stopped cashing his checks. Mel admits that he didn’t want to get sucked back into her problems, and he’d hoped she was being cared for by someone else.
Dr. Campbell hypnotizes Dylan by telling him to imagine he’s in an elevator. Instead, he sees himself running on train tracks, similar to the dreams he had when he was in a coma. He admits to Dr. Campbell that he’s never been able to shake the dreams. She tells him that she’s not 100 percent sure that reincarnation and past lives are real, but if Dylan can regress, he can gain understanding and move forward with his life. He just needs to commit. She decides that they should have their next session at his house, though he isn’t sold on trying again.
David, Donna, and Mel return to the hotel, where Ray tells them that someone saw their flier and has information. A homeless woman takes David and Mel to the street where Sheila (also homeless) has been living, and after a minute of being unable to get through to her, Sheila becomes lucid. David and Mel take her to the hospital and discuss other family members who have been mentally ill. Mel admits that he was relieved to learn that David had a drug problem last year, rather than a chemical imbalance.
David wonders what to do next, and Mel says that the doctors want her to stay in Portland for a while. Then they can bring her to Beverly Hills and help her get a job and a place to live. David thanks Mel for doing so much for his ex, but Mel doesn’t think he’s doing anything unordinary. Sheila is the reason he has a son, so he’ll always be grateful to her.
Ray tries to explain away his behavior with Donna the night before, saying that being on the road is hard. He also feels bad that he wasn’t there to save Donna from Garrett. Donna’s totally over it. David and Mel play a cute tape for Sheila that she and David made when she taught him to play the piano as a child. She says that she never wanted to be a burden; she thought she could take care of herself. David tells her she doesn’t have to do that anymore.
Valerie visits Dylan to show off her new tattoo: She got his name inked on her breast. He flips, but she tells him it’s fake. Then she shows him her real tattoo, a daisy on her back. David meets up with Donna at Ray’s club and tells her that listening to the tape made him want to get back into music. He admits that he stopped playing because he thought the music was making him crazy. Donna notes that the drugs were doing that. He thanks her for all her help.
Ray dedicates his next song to Donna, and David realizes while watching them look at each other that they’re happy together. He goes outside and looks up at the moon. In Beverly Hills, Dylan is also looking up at the moon instead of sleeping next to Valerie. She thinks he should blow off Dr. Campbell if he doesn’t really want to be hypnotized. Her father used to say that we’re only alive for a short time, so it should be a good time. Dylan replies that he’s not sure we’re only alive for a short time.
Thoughts: I think this episode was to make up for earlier episodes where Brian Austin Green didn’t get to do anything.
Donna and Ray, please learn how to kiss more quietly. You’re grossing me out.
Dylan wears a suit during the day and jeans in bed. Okay, then.
Danger, Donna Martin, danger!
April 21, 2013
BH90210 5.23, Love Hurts: I’ll Be Watching You
I definitely wouldn’t want to be alone with this guy
Summary: At the campus quad, Donna complains to Steve and Andrea that Clare and David are helping Valerie find a new band for the Peach Pit After Dark. Brandon joins them and shares the supposedly confidential news that Lenny isn’t the real rapist and theft. Andrea’s beeper goes off and she says she has to go to work. No one questions why a college student with a research job would have an emergency beeper. Andrea winds up with Peter at their new no-tell motel room. Valerie and Clare audition bands at the After Dark. One of them is covered in mud.
David collects Lenny from the police station, saying he knew the charges would never stick. Lenny confesses that after he got back from Desert Storm, he went out with some friends, got really drunk, and woke up the next morning in jail, having been arrested for rape. He served two years and is now a registered sex offender. David thinks Lenny has turned his life around, since he’s in college and has made the dean’s list. Lenny notes that any time a sex crime is committed, his name will come up.
Indeed, word has spread, and Janice the angry student politician is one of the many people upset that Lenny was allowed on campus. Brandon would rather focus on the real rapist and the lack of security on campus. The police admit that they don’t have any suspects or leads. Over at his family’s hotel, Charlie tells Dylan about the screenplay he’s working on and invites him to help out. He notes that the hotel is a great place to work because people leave him alone. In fact, most of them are having secret rendezvous there. Hey, like that woman leaving right now, who Dylan knows!
Garrett, an employee from the campus quad, goes to the After Dark looking for a job. He chats with Donna, who’s there to confront Valerie for firing Ray. Val tells her that David thought they should get some new musicians. She further snows Donna by pointing out that Ray will grow more as a musician if he plays different venues. Donna goes to get Garrett, but he’s gone. She sees that someone moved her backpack and overreacts.
On campus, Steve runs into Valerie and gives her a ride in a golf cart (it looks like KEG is giving women rides so they’ll feel safer). She asks for his help finding a special music act to play on Friday night. Steve points out that he’s not supposed to get involved in that sort of thing, so someone finally remembered that. Then he promises to help anyway, so that was a waste of continuity. Lenny’s back on campus, and a mob of students is harassing him.
Dylan’s also back on campus to let Andrea know that he knows about her affair. He promises to keep it quiet. He tells her it’s not what he thinks, which is hilarious, because it’s exactly what Dylan thinks. He says it’s none of his business and won’t talk about it if she doesn’t want to. Andrea says something about how it’s good that she didn’t ignore her feelings, so if that’s how she’s able to sleep at night, good for her.
David learns that Lenny’s moving out of the dorm but thinks he should stay since he didn’t do anything. He should fight, not run away. Lenny doesn’t want to be “the poster child for ex-con rights.” David notes that he’s involved with campus media and is friends with the student-body president. Lenny says there are other things going on but won’t discuss them. David asks if that means he’s guilty. Lenny replies that he needs someone to believe in him even if he’s guilty.
Steve has lined up someone for the After Dark, but Valerie has already booked someone and shoos him away. “I hate her,” Steve grumbles. David goes to the beach apartment to try to get Clare to help him produce a profile on Lenny portraying him as rehabilitated. Clare won’t help; she thinks if Lenny wants to go to college, he should go to an all-male school. David doesn’t even get to broach the subject with Donna, since she thinks he helped Valerie get rid of Ray. He calls her self-involved and wonders why he ever dated her in the first place.
As someone packs a bag with a flashlight and knife, Cindy and Jackie hang out at the Peach Pit, discussing possible men for Jackie to date. Mel brings Erin for a custody exchange, and for some reason Jackie is all a-flutter. The rapist breaks into the beach apartment, and we finally see his face: It’s Garrett.
At the Walshes’ house, Brandon talks to Janice on the phone, telling her he’s not running for another term as president. Cindy tells him that Jackie and Mel are suddenly getting along; apparently Mel’s girlfriend just dumped him for someone younger. David comes by and asks Brandon to talk Lenny out of dropping out of CU. Brandon easily agrees. Jesse’s back from his massive interview tour, and he and Andrea immediately start fighting about random things. There’s yelling, and I hate them both.
Brandon tracks Lenny down on campus, and though Lenny is defensive at first, Brandon breaks the ice by making it clear that he doesn’t think Lenny’s the rapist. Lenny confirms that he was in custody when a girl named Melody was raped, which is why he was released. He asks how much cloud Brandon has with the administration and the police. Brandon wonders if Lenny needs a lawyer. Lenny announces that he knows who raped Melody.
Donna, Clare, and Steve hang out at the After Dark, waiting to find out who Valerie’s mystery performer is. Donna decides to bail early since it’s weird being there without Ray. She leaves just as Valerie brings out the mystery act, the Flaming Lips. David shows up and Clare tells him Donna went home.
Donna arrives to see Garrett in the apartment, and though she tries to overpower him with her self-defense training, she’s no match for him. He tells her she’s even prettier than Clare, then takes her to the bedroom, telling her they’re going to get to know each other. Brandon goes to the After Dark with the police, who think Clare’s the rapist’s target. Valerie recognizes Garrett’s name and tells Brandon and Steve that he may be a friend of Donna’s.
At the apartment, Garrett pulls his knife and Donna begs him not to hurt her. She tells him she’s a virgin, which is a surprise to him. David arrives and Donna tells Garrett he’s her roommate. He makes her tell him to go away. David thinks the lights are off because Donna has a migraine, and that she doesn’t want to talk to him because of Ray. She calls him Dave to try to signal that something’s wrong. It works, because when Donna screams, David runs into the room and attacks Garrett. Donna joins in and they knock him out.
Dylan’s back at the hotel with Charlie, and he sees Peter arrive for a hook-up with Andrea. Andrea announces that she’s leaving Jesse because there’s no point in being miserable with him when she can be happy with Peter. Peter, however, is happy with the current arrangements. He reminds Andrea that they agreed not to have any strings. She doesn’t seem to remember that. Dylan sees Peter leave and goes to comfort Andrea, who laments believing that she and Peter were going to be together.
The cops go to the beach apartment, along with Brandon and Clare. Brandon relays Lenny’s news that he was in military prison with Garrett. He was afraid to say anything when he was arrested because he thought he would be pegged as an accomplice. Garrett had been asking him about girls on campus, which tipped Lenny off that he was interested in Clare. Donna apologizes to David for using a figurine he gave her to knock out Garrett. He’s surprised she kept it, and she says of course she did – it was the last thing he gave her. They hug, and Clare should probably be worried.
Thoughts: Donna: “I don’t know your name.” Funny, because you greeted him by name less than a minute ago. Did a writer fall asleep or something?
Yeah, being alone in a golf cart with a frat guy woud not make me feel safe. They need to tell all the women not to walk alone at night.
Dylan suit status: still active. Also, contagious – David caught the disease.
I think the Flaming Lips are the first musicians to play on the show who are still performing today.
Kudos to the guy playing Garrett – he’s normal at first, kind of creepy later, then just full-on shiver-inducing scary at the apartment. Though I think the story would have worked better if there had been some indication that Clare might be the target earlier on. We would have thought he was going to the apartment for her and been surprised when he went after Donna instead.
Kelly isn’t in this episode, but no one’s worried, so I don’t think she went back to the cult.
February 5, 2013
BH90210 5.7, Who’s Zoomin’ Who?: Smashing Pumpkins (and Faces)
Nothing says “I dig you” like a gigantic pumpkin
Summary: The After Dark is jumping, and Steve is happy. He tells David his relationship with Valerie is going well, even though they’re moving slowly. The fire marshal makes an appearance and tells Steve he’s exceeded the Peach Pit’s maximum capacity, so he has to shut things down. Now Steve isn’t happy anymore.
The next day Steve promises Nat he’ll pay the fine, but he wants to keep the club going. David suggests that they charge more and let in fewer people. Clare adds that they could get a bigger place – and the rug store next door is going out of business. Nat can’t afford the lease, so Valerie urges him to talk to Dylan (even though she knows he has no money – jerk).
Ray makes a long, picturesque drive to the beach apartment so we can all hear Jamie Walters sing. He takes Donna the biggest and smallest pumpkins of the season, then suggests that they decorate them together that night. Kelly isn’t as charmed as Donna is. Then there’s a lot of exposition: Kelly’s picking up Erin, then spending the night at Brandon’s since Jim and Cindy are going to Palm Springs, which means Ray can come over and hang out with Donna.
At the Peach Pit, Steve and Nat give Dylan their business proposal to take over the rug store and expand. Clare and David are also present, for some reason. Dylan okays the plan, even though it’ll cost $150,000. Jackie tells Kelly she’s been booked for a modeling job, which Kelly isn’t happy about. Apparently Cindy was serious when she said she wanted another baby, because she and Jim are actually making plans in that regard.
Jim gets a fax regarding Dylan’s trust (Dylan hasn’t signed the papers to sever that relationship) and sees that he’s taken out a mortgage on his house. Valerie spills that he’s broke. Mel and Kelly discuss Jackie’s return to modeling, and he tells her that Jackie and Erin are scheduled to take part in a mother/daughter fashion shoot. You can imagine how unexcited Kelly is by that news.
The Walshes figure out that Suzanne took all of Dylan’s money, using Erica to get close to him. Jim’s relieved that they didn’t invest their own money. He decides that he and Cindy shouldn’t go away for the weekend, so that means no sex for Brandon. Jim asks why Valerie’s been spending time with Dylan when they told her to stay away from him. She sticks to her story about him talking to her and trying to kiss her at the Peach Pit rave.
Griffin surprises Donna at the beach apartment, hoping to take her out. (Clare forgot to tell Donna he’d called.) She tries to back out but he wears her down. Donna quickly calls Ray but can’t reach him, so she asks Clare to give him a rain check. She has no idea that Griffin doesn’t plan to bring her home until the next day.
Kelly confronts Jackie over taking Erin to a night modeling shoot, and Jackie brings up all the things the money will pay for (including a car phone, hee). Jackie invites her to stay if she’s so worried that the experience will be damaging to her sister. Griffin flies Donna to Catalina, since apparently he’s a pilot.
Ray shows up at the beach apartment and Clare annoyingly tells him Donna’s out with another guy. Word of Dylan’s financial situation has made it to Nat, who helps Jim ambush him at the Peach Pit. Dylan thinks Jim is pleased with the turn of events because Dylan’s getting what he deserves. Now Jim doesn’t want to help him anymore.
At the beach apartment, David goes looking for a shirt (he got watermelon all over his – don’t ask) and finds handcuffs in Clare’s drawer. He handcuffs himself to the bed, then learns she doesn’t have the key. (She lost it, probably the last time she used them.) Then Chancellor Arnold shows up wanting to see where his daughter lives. Clare covers David with pillows and clothes so it just looks like she has a messy, unmade bed. Then she and her dad go to dinner, leaving David alone.
At dinner, Donna learns for the first time that Griffin plans to spend the night on Catalina. He promises to be a “perfect gentleman” and keep his hands to himself. She notes that a gentleman wouldn’t put her in this position in the first place. (Point for Donna.) Brandon overhears Valerie breaking plans with Steve and suggests that she just dump him if she wants to be with Dylan. She defends Dylan and all his brooding. David’s still stuck in bed when someone he thinks is Clare finally returns. It’s not Clare, it’s Donna (of course).
A hairstylist at the modeling shoot tells Kelly she should be participating, but Jackie probably didn’t ask her because Kelly would overshadow her. Kelly’s just ticked that Erin’s up so late. Jackie’s upset about her interference. Kelly complains that Jackie didn’t invite her to do the shoot with her, even though Jackie didn’t think she would have wanted to do it. David and Donna commiserate over their failed romantic evenings, and he tells her Ray stopped by. Donna realizes that Ray destroyed the pumpkins, so she leaves to talk to him. David’s left alone in bed again.
Valerie goes to see Dylan, who blasts her for telling Jim about his financial issues. She blasts him back for lying to everyone. Dylan says she could have stood up to Jim instead of letting him bully her into telling the truth (which didn’t happen, but whatever). He notes that Brenda got pretty good at standing up to him. Valerie’s finally sick of Dylan talking about Brenda all the time, but he accuses her of pretending to be Brenda so she can have a family. Valerie doesn’t see what’s wrong with that. Dylan feels bad about making her cry.
Brandon never told Kelly that Cindy and Jim were staying in town, so she shows up at the house for sex. Instead of that, she winds up confiding in Cindy about her issues with Jackie. She blames her childhood modeling and Jackie’s pressure to be skinny for her weight issues. Kelly admits that she’s upset that Jackie didn’t ask her to be in the modeling shoot. Cindy reminisces about that other modeling thing where she first met Jackie. She notes that Jackie’s been through a lot since then and has remained sober. Plus, she’s 40 and still looks good.
Donna goes to the pumpkin patch and tells Ray she wishes she’d gone out with him instead of Griffin. He can’t believe she drove all the way out there to apologize, especially after he smashed her pumpkins. He only did that because he cares, “maybe a little too much.” (Donna! Red flag! This is a red flag situation!) Ray promises that he won’t pressure Donna to do anything she’s not comfortable with. They make out.
More apologies: Kelly wants Jackie to know she thinks she’s a much stronger person and a better mother than she was when Kelly was a kid. She’ll keep her mouth shut from now on unless Jackie asks for her opinion. Jackie admits that the photographer wanted Kelly and Erin to both be in the shoot, but she didn’t ask Kelly because she thought people would see Kelly as Erin’s mother and Jackie as Erin’s grandmother. Kelly confides that she thought Jackie didn’t think she was pretty enough for the shoot. Jackie assures her that’s not the case.
David, having freed himself by breaking Clare’s bed, complains to Steve that he could have died since Clare and her father went to dinner and a movie in Monterey while he was handcuffed. They go to Dylan’s to discuss the After Dark, and David spots Valerie in the yard, realizing she spent the night. When Steve sees her, he decides the plan for the club is a no-go. Then he punches Dylan in the face.
Thoughts: What, exactly, does Ray expect Donna to do with a pumpkin the size of a pony?
I don’t know if it’s the same girl playing her as before, but Erin got even more adorable.
Dear Clare: Shut up. Shut up a lot.
Also, why didn’t Clare just take her dad to Donna or Kelly’s room and say it was hers?
Valerie: “You don’t know how intimidating Jim Walsh can be.” Me: “Is there another Jim Walsh I don’t know about?”
October 7, 2012
BH90210 4.20, Scared Very Straight: Drug Days Are Over
Maybe they shouldn’t have flushed them all at the same time
Summary: Kelly and Donna wash their clothes in the sink and hang them on clotheslines around the house because Dylan doesn’t have a washer or dryer. (Um, why not?) They’re still staying there, though Donna thinks Kelly should make a move to work things out with David. She insists that he’s better. Kelly tells her she’s being fooled. Dylan agrees, saying David will have to realize himself that he has a problem, since no one’s been able to convince him.
David’s currently telling Mel that he’s not an addict, but Mel is skeptical and plans to keep a close eye on him. If he’s not showing signs of improvement by next week, Mel will send him to rehab. The girls convene at the Peach Pit and discuss Andrea’s upcoming wedding at City Hall. Kelly thinks they need to do something a little more special. Andrea doesn’t feel like making a big deal since her parents haven’t approved of the marriage. She’s not sure her grandmother will either when she finds out. Nat stops by and Brandon complains about his partnership with Dylan.
Andrea and Jesse meet with Andrea’s grandmother (a different actress from the one we saw before), who quickly determines that they’re getting married because Andrea’s pregnant. She thinks they should celebrate their blessings because of the Holocaust. (No, seriously. She connected that.) She even offers to throw Andrea a shower in her apartment. Donna goes by the beach apartment, and David tells her he’s totally fine and clean and sober and everything is happy and rainbows. She invites him to a Valentine’s dance the next night.
As Donna leaves, she runs into the landlord, who thinks Donna and Kelly have just been out of town. David gives him a rent check from Mel, noting that it’s made out for the wrong amount – he lied to Mel about how much his rent costs. The landlord gives him money back, and I’m sure we can all guess where that will go. At the Walshes’, Brenda reads Brandon a letter she wrote Stuart, who she hasn’t seen in weeks. Brandon complains more about Dylan and Nat’s partnership. He’s thinking of finding a “spicier” place to hang out.
That would be Lucinda’s house. She reminds Brandon that their attempt at a relationship (or whatever that was) didn’t work the first time, but he thinks he’s more mature some three or so months later. Despite Lucinda’s protests, she makes out with him. The next day, her class with the girls discusses romantic rituals. Donna doesn’t think Lucinda is the best person to talk about romance because she seems like the type to steal another woman’s boyfriend.
David goes to see his dealer as Cindy and Jim discuss Brenda and Stuart. Apparently they know something Brenda doesn’t about Stuart. She’s finished her angry letter, and Jim encourages her to send it. Brandon has dinner with Andrea and Jesse, who ask him to walk Andrea down the aisle. They also want to have a wedding reception at the Peach Pit. Brandon tells them he’ll have to talk to Dylan about that.
Donna brings David a ridiculous oversized T-shirt to wear to the Valentine’s dance. He’s invited a fellow addict, Jack, and doesn’t see the problem in taking him along to a dance. Dylan, Brandon, Steve, and Kelly are already there (it’s at KEG house), and Brandon brings up the reception to Dylan, getting in a complaint about the partnership. Shut up, Brandon. David, Donna, and Jack arrive, and David immediately goes to get beer, so Kelly definitely doesn’t think he’s sober.
Brandon sneaks out with cookies for Lucinda, who says she’s worried about creating a scandal but certainly isn’t acting like it. She mentions that she’s working on a documentary, and if it gets funded, she can stop teaching. Back at the dance, everyone’s happy until some KEG brothers catch Jack doing drugs and kick him out. David thinks they’re hypocrites for cracking down on drug use while providing beer. Donna realizes that David’s been lying to her.
David leaves, but Dylan follows him to give him his patented “you’re screwing things up” speech. David points out that he’s an alcoholic, so he doesn’t have much room to talk. Dylan says he owes David one – David’s words to him after Jack’s death made him pull himself together. He tells David to call when he finds himself about to jump from a ledge someday.
The girls have Andrea’s shower, which isn’t well-attended because Andrea only has three friends. Donna’s mopey and angry because of David, but Kelly thinks that’s good, since she was in denial for so long. Jesse crashes to ask Andrea’s grandmother if she’s been able to get through to Andrea’s parents. She still hasn’t had any luck convincing them to come to the wedding.
Steve’s hungover at the KEG house and tells Brandon he needs to get out of there because he can’t handle all the drinking. They even have a drinking game involving Samantha – they drink whenever she says “Chuckie.” He also doesn’t like having to share a room. David visits his dealer again (for music-related reasons, not drug-related ones) and learns that word has spread that the dorm is about to be busted for drugs. The dealer gives him a bunch of drugs to stash at the beach apartment.
Brandon takes Steve to Andrea’s dorm room; she gave him access to her computer and thinks she’d be okay with Steve sleeping there. They spot David running through the halls, and a minute later the police walk through. Andrea and Jesse join them in time to see David’s dealer get perp-walked out of the dorm. David watches from the bushes with his backpack full of drugs. He quickly calls Dylan to ask for his favor repayment.
Dylan heads to the beach apartment and encourages David to flush the drugs down the toilet. He notes that someone could be watching the apartment. David worries what the dealer will do when he’s released and comes to retrieve the drugs. Dylan guesses that the dealer has already turned on David, giving him about 15 minutes to get rid of the drugs. He also thinks David would rather use the drugs than keep himself out of legal trouble. He tells him not to jump off the ledge.
Down the toilet go the drugs, including David’s own stash. Minutes later, the police arrive. They arrest the guys and search the apartment, but there’s nothing to find. Later, Donna and Kelly hear the whole story, plus David’s claims that he’s done with drugs. The girls both offer their support. Brandon and Lucinda ring in Valentine’s Day together and she asks him to spend the night. He jokes that he’ll have to ask his mom, which isn’t really that funny since he still lives at home.
Everyone gathers at City Hall, and we finally get to meet Andrea’s parents, who arrive at the last minute. Brandon loses his role as giver-awayer of the bride, but Jesse enlists him as best man, because he apparently doesn’t have any friends. Afterward, everyone parties at the Peach Pit, where David thanks Dylan for his help with the drugs.
Brenda gets a Valentine’s Day surprise in the form of a visit from Stuart. (He was in South America, and Jim knew he was coming back but didn’t say anything.) She asks him to burn her letter without reading it. Then Nat puts “Hava Nagila” on the jukebox and everyone dances, except Brandon, who I guess can’t be happy for his friend’s happiness if he himself isn’t happy.
Thoughts: Heh, episode 4.20 is about drugs.
That huge beachfront apartment costs less than half my rent. I wish I lived in Beverly Hills 20 years ago.
“Hey, guy I was once in love with and almost lost my virginity to, will you give me away at my wedding?” Yeah, that’s totally normal.
KEG house’s Samantha drinking game reminds me of the college kids on How I Met Your Mother playing their Robin drinking game.
Yes, Dylan, the cigarette smoking is the worst of David’s behaviors right now.
I imagine that David had to call a plumber, because that was a LOT of drugs.
September 16, 2012
BH90210 4.17, Thicker Than Water: I Want a New Drug
Dylan’s well on his way to having a mini-me
Summary: David complains about his crappy life on the radio, as if he didn’t bring it all on himself. Howard’s tired of all the whining, calling David self-indulgent. Also, his playlist is depressing. David asks for more drugs since he feels so horrible. Howard’s suggestion is to stop doing meth. At the beach apartment, Donna asks Kelly to keep an eye on David while she goes on a ski trip. Then she regrets not inviting him along. Kelly tells her she’s doing the right thing since David’s such a jerk.
David comes home and continues being a jerk, but Donna invites him skiing anyway. He tells her he already agreed to watch Erin that weekend. Donna tells him they need to be civil since they’re living together. David snaps that he’d be in a better mood if Donna could have a “mature relationship.” Basically, he wouldn’t be so mean if he could get laid. Donna tells him she’ll be having sex when she’s ready.
Cindy has packed a giant cooler for Brandon, Brenda, Steve to take on the ski trip. Brenda tells them that Andrea isn’t coming; she has the flu. Dylan also isn’t coming since he’s taking care of Erica. Donna calls to try to back out of the trip, telling Brenda that she and David had a fight. Brenda refuses to let her mope when she could be having fun. Once the kids are gone, Jim tries to arrange a meeting with Dylan to share what he’s learned about Suzanne.
Dylan’s surfing with a nervous Erica, whose only previous experience with the ocean is from reading The Old Man and the Sea. Kelly tries to calm Jackie down over letting Mel take Erin for the weekend. David complains again about his issues and Kelly asks him straight out if he’s using drugs. He says no, he just needs sleep. He also needs a hug, which she gives him. Dylan gives Erica a surfing lesson on the sand before she admits that she doesn’t know how to swim.
Kelly and David pick up Erin from Mel’s office so they can take her to the park. David pretends to go to the bathroom but instead sneaks back into an exam room to steal codeine. Up on whatever mountain the kids are skiing, a guy helps Donna with her boots, then asks her to lunch. Andrea goes to a doctor for her suspected flu, asking for an AIDS test just to be on the safe side.
Dylan takes Erica to a pool to teach her to swim, even though she’s afraid of the water. He uses The Old Man and the Sea to make her brave. In the park, some random old woman offers Erin a cookie and Kelly says no, though David almost accepts. I’m sure it’s because of the drugs. See, kids? Drugs make you take sweets from strangers! Erin runs off to the ice cream truck, and Kelly chastises David for offering her some since it would be rewarding bad behavior. Then she ditches them for an appointment, telling David to do whatever he wants.
Donna hits it off with her lunch date, Chad, who’s a ski instructor and offers her and Brenda lessons the next day. Donna’s happy that Brenda made her come since she’s having a great time. Kelly returns to the park and finds David asleep on a bench, with no Erin in sight. They end up at the police station, where they’re joined by Mel. A cop wonders if Jackie might have taken Erin because of the custody dispute. Mel isn’t sure but won’t let David blame himself.
Dylan waits for Erica outside the pool locker room, hearing from a couple of girls that she’s in there crying. He goes in to find out what’s wrong and almost has security called on him by a reasonably concerned woman. Erica tells Dylan she got her first period and doesn’t know what to do. Not that he knows what to do either, other than taking her to the Walshes’ so Cindy can help her out. Erica hopes this doesn’t mean she’ll suddenly be obsessed with boys.
The skiers meet up at the lodge and decide to go to dinner, but Donna wants to skip it in hopes of spending more time with Chad. Brenda warns her not to do anything stupid. (Like what, sleep with him? It’s Donna.) Jim finally meets with Dylan, asking what Suzanne told him about her financial situation. Dylan relays that she was wiped out when her home was flooded. Jim reveals that she actually has a bank account containing $25,000.
Jackie finally gets to the police station and learns that she’s a kidnapping suspect. She’s mad at Mel for leaving Erin with David again, though at least this time it’s not like he went to another country. David keeps apologizing, but no one blames him. Donna and Chad do a little kissing and he tries to invite himself to her place. She tells him that’s not going to happen – not because she doesn’t want to have sex but because she’s still in love with David.
The Taylors and Silvers spend the evening at the police station, but they’re finally reunited with Erin, who had run off to some random house. Suzanne comes home early and Dylan asks when she was going to tell him about the $25,000. She’s upset that he looked into her background. She tells him it’s the insurance money for her trailer, and it was just wired into her account a few days ago. She also admits that she can’t be sure Erica is Jack’s daughter, but Dylan doesn’t care.
At the beach apartment, David admits to Kelly that he’s being using meth, then stole codeine to help him sleep. He asks her to help him, and she promises she will. The next day, Andrea goes back to the doctor to get her AIDS test results. That test is negative, but another is positive: She’s pregnant.
Thoughts: I didn’t realize that Gabrielle Carteris was actually pregnant, so Andrea’s pregnancy didn’t completely come out of nowhere. It also explains some of her fashion choices over the past few episodes.
Oh, no – Kelly caught Calling Your Parents By Their First Names from Brandon. I hope there’s a cure!
Do dentists’ offices have drugs? They have novocaine, obviously, but painkillers in pill form? I thought they just wrote you a prescription and you had to go to a pharmacy to get it filled.
I feel bad for any teen actress who has to do a my-first-period storyline. It must be incredibly embarrassing. And I don’t think any viewer really wants to see that plotline. Oh, and considering this storyline, the episode title is kind of gross.
September 8, 2012
BH90210 4.15, Somewhere in the World It’s Christmas: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Silver
Merry Christmas! I got you an adorable moppet!
Summary: Judging from the decorations all over Beverly Hills and the Walshes’ house, it’s Christmas. Speaking of the Walshes, they’re headed to Hawaii after they celebrate Christmas Eve at home. Brandon calls Brenda out for being nervous about flying. Cindy reminisces about their first Christmas in California, leaving out the unhappy parts. Her family reminds her that she was homesick for Minnesota and hated their tree. Then they talk about Santa, and I hit fast-forward.
Dylan shows up with presents; despite the fact that his one remaining family member lives in Hawaii, he won’t be going there with the Walshes. They’re all sad that he’s going to spend the holidays alone in Mexico. Over at the beach apartment, Donna and Kelly decorate their own tree with Donna’s favorite ornaments. Dylan brings them presents and winds up under the mistletoe, but Kelly makes Donna kiss him instead of doing it herself. They start to make out, which is pretty funny.
David’s getting ready for a party at Mel’s, and he’s not thrilled that afterward he’ll have to come home to Donna. She thinks he’s just upset about the ongoing custody fight. She encourages Kelly to go to Mel’s as well, but Kelly doesn’t want to be disloyal to Jackie. After Dylan leaves, Donna notes that he’s been in a really good mood lately. Kelly worries that he’s overcompensating with Christmas cheer and is actually depressed.
Dylan packs for his trip to Baja, taking a few minutes to remember visiting Jack on Christmas. (I hit fast-forward again.) He follows it up with a memory of Jack’s car going boom. Dylan’s reminiscing is interrupted by a woman and a girl on his front doorstep. The woman says that Jack once told her to look Dylan up if she was ever in town. She’s looking for a hotel to stay in. Dylan lets them in to use his phone. The woman is Suzanne and the girl is her daughter, Erica. While Dylan’s in the kitchen, Suzanne tells Erica to do exactly as they’d planned.
The Walshes are off to the airport…or they will be, once Brandon gives Andrea some “ecumenical advice.” Jesse wants to take her to midnight Mass, but she doesn’t know what to expect. Brandon advises her to call the Vatican hotline instead. Dylan and Suzanne talk about Jack; it sounds to him like the two of them used to date. He’s also suspicious that she waited a year to express her condolences. Suzanne takes him down a notch by telling him she and Erica lost everything in a flood and have been living in a Red cross shelter.
Brenda’s nervous on the plane, and Brandon tells her she has a phobia. Cindy and Jim are enjoying living it up in first class. There are more flashbacks, but I don’t feel like dealing with them. The flashbacks do succeed in distracting Brenda from being anxious during takeoff. At the beach apartment, Donna tries to use mistletoe to be romantic with David, who’s being very Grinchy. Kelly seems perfectly content eating the chocolates Dylan gave her (so I guess her eating disorder is a thing of the past).
Dylan offers to let Suzanne and Erica stay at his house for the night. Suzanne tells him that Erica’s father died last year, but father and daughter weren’t close. Dylan babbles about parents and children for a while until Suzanne announces that Jack was Erica’s father, making Erica Dylan’s sister. On the plane, Brenda and Brandon babble about how all the kids have changed this year, with the exception of Steve.
Steve, by the way, is at the Peach Pit, telling Nat about his baseball-stealing bust and possible setup. Nat tells him the obvious solution is for him to leave KEG. Steve can’t, since his father was in the frat and would disown him for leaving. David mopes through Mel’s party, mad that Donna won’t sleep with him. Mel makes the same assumption that he’s angry about the custody case. He gets an emergency dental call, as he does every year, but this one’s from Kelly, who cracked a tooth.
Dylan goes to the Peach Pit, where Nat tries to enlist him to help get food ready for the homeless. Dylan confides in him about Suzanne’s claim, which he thinks is bogus. Nat tells him to be Christmasy and give her the benefit of the doubt. Jesse goes to get Andrea, who’s dressed like she’s going to church with the characters from Steel Magnolias. He teases that she’ll have to give confession, become a nun, and do missionary work in a third-world country. (I love Jesse.)
Mel takes care of Kelly’s tooth, quipping that despite being a bad husband, he’s a good dentist and father. Kelly says she tried to talk Jackie out of going overboard with the custody case. He knows Jackie won’t forgive him for what he’s done, but it looks like Kelly’s okay with him. The Walshes learn that the computer controlling the plane’s landing gear has gone down, and though the crew has everything under control, they’ll have to return to L.A. (And land…how?) Aloha, Hawaii.
Donna comes home from the party and gets a Happy Birthday/Merry Christmas serenade from Kelly. David’s still at Mel’s, but Donna swears they didn’t have a fight. As the pilot follows procedure in case of a non-wheeled landing (and the Walshes freak out), Erica gives Dylan his Christmas present: a picture of the two of them and Jack, signed “from your little sister.” Andrea and Jesse attend Mass while the Walshes’ lives literally flash before their (and our) eyes. Then they land and no one dies.
In the morning, Nat and the remaining kids serve the homeless while Steve plays Santa. Kelly blasts David for ignoring Donna all morning. Andrea really enjoyed the Mass and keeps talking to Donna about it, which at least distracts her from her relationship problems. The Walshes make a surprise appearance just in time to sing Christmas carols.
Suzanne and Erica are off to Disneyland, but Erica’s sad that Dylan isn’t there to say goodbye. Suzanne thinks he’s already on his way to Baja. He actually went out to get a tree and another ticket to Disneyland so he can tag along. It’s all smiles over at the Peach Pit until Donna goes looking for David and he tells her their relationship isn’t working, “especially the sex part.” So Donna gets dumped on Christmas. Which is also her birthday. Fa la la la la.
Thoughts: Trivia: The Walshes are Presbyterians.
The kids haven’t taken finals yet? What kind of schedule is CU on? Most schools end the semester before Christmas and start the new one after the new year. And why is Andrea still in the dorm? Don’t most schools close their dorms during the break?
Nat, there’s giving the benefit of the doubt and there’s being a gullible fool.
You know the beach apartment is huge because they have a gigantic tree that they can just stick in a corner without having to move anything to accommodate it.
If I were Brenda, I’d tell Brandon I was totally right to be nervous about flying.
Enjoy the coal in your stocking, David.
August 12, 2012
BH90210 4.9, Otherwise Engaged: If You Ain’t No Punk, Holla, “We Want Prenup!”
The perfect encapsulation of this mess: Brandon’s worried, Lucinda’s thrilled, the whole thing’s a disaster
Summary: In what I guess is a reference to Back to the Future, “The Power of Love” plays as Brandon races across campus to get to the gym. It’s 7 but Lucinda isn’t there. Womp womp! She arrives a little while later and they start flirting. Meanwhile, Brenda’s just waking up and admiring her new engagement ring. Stuart calls and basically makes sure she still wants to marry him. They arrange to have lunch together that afternoon.
Jim and Cindy discuss the engagement, wondering if Brenda’s pregnant. Jim even asks her straight out when she comes downstairs. Cindy reminds her that marriage is a big step, especially for two people who barely know each other. She doesn’t think Brenda sees Stuart for who he really is yet. Jim notes that they could still have a great relationship six months from now, so they can wait until then. Brenda makes it clear that she’s not listening to anyone else’s opinion on the matter.
On their way to class, Lucinda invites Brandon over for dinner that night. Then she practically gropes him in the middle of campus. At the Peach Pit, Brenda shows off her ring to the girls. They start talking about Kelly and Sears, who Kelly thinks respects her wishes for a slow start to their relationship.
At the KEG house, Steve learns that Sears hasn’t been all that patient in waiting for Kelly; he’s been hooking up with another girl. Another brother asks Steve to go on a double date with him and two girls. Steve doesn’t want to go behind Celeste’s back, but the brother says she’ll never find out. Sears pressures him not to let down his frat brother.
Dylan and Jim meet to go over paperwork, and Jim admits that he sort of wishes Brenda and Dylan were still together. Dylan reveals that he knows a little about Stuart and that he’s not the great guy he appears to be, but he won’t elaborate. He thinks Brenda’s crazy for getting engaged to him, but he knows his opinion doesn’t matter. Jim asks him to talk to Brenda since he and Cindy aren’t getting through to her.
Kelly and Jackie take Erin to a playground, where Jackie reveals that she’s planning to take Mel to court to get full custody. Kelly argues that it was just one weekend, asking if they can settle things out of court. Jackie wants Erin to have a stable childhood, since Kelly didn’t. She warns that Kelly and David’s relationship could get messy with their parents going to battle. Meanwhile, David gets a subpoena to give a deposition to Jackie’s lawyers.
Brenda goes by a construction site to meet Stuart and finds him fighting with the foreman. David meets with Mel and his lawyer to go over what he’ll say in his deposition. The lawyer’s pretty shady. Brandon heads to D’Shawn’s for a tutoring session, though schoolwork clearly isn’t as important to D’Shawn as cartoons and basketball are. He thinks Brandon’s stressing out too much.
Brandon complains to Professor Randall, who isn’t too helpful, as he’s headed out of town. He offers Brandon tickets to a hockey game, but Brandon already has his date with Lucinda. Randall urges him to score, which, ew. Steve finds a girl named Laura Kingman in a dance studio and introduces himself as her blind date. Dylan goes looking for Brenda, but Kelly tells him to mind his own business since you can’t always choose who you fall for.
Brenda and Stuart have lunch and he apologizes for the fight with the foreman. He feels bad for the guy since he’s poor. Brenda finds this mature and sensitive. For “dessert,” Stuart takes her to a hotel, telling her he’s gotten them a room for a month. Brenda looks for a pen so she can practice writing Brenda Carson, because she’s 11 years old. Instead, she finds a prenup. Stuart says it was his parents’ idea, but she notes that he’s not telling her she doesn’t need to sign it.
Brenda mopes home and tells Brandon about the prenup. She thinks Stuart doesn’t trust her, so they might need to break up. Brandon isn’t too upset about the news. He offers to cancel his date to hang out with his sister, but she’s thinking of going to a poetry reading at school. At the beach apartment, David picks a fight with Kelly about the lawsuit. Donna asks them to make a pact not to let their parents’ problems become their problems.
Lucinda and Brandon cook and flirt at her house, then make out a little. She mentions a husband, so Brandon thinks she’s divorced, but she’s actually still married. She doesn’t see any problem with dating someone else, since they have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy. Brandon also doesn’t have any problem with dating a married woman, since she’s pretty.
Brenda attends the poetry reading, which is not, as one would expect, where students read their own poems, but where they read published ones. Dylan’s there, being all Dylany. The double-daters wind up at the KEG house, where Steve learns that Sears has yet another girl over. Steve likes Laura but doesn’t plan to leave Celeste for her. The other brother tells him to keep his options open.
Dylan and Brenda get coffee and discuss Stuart. He thinks she’s having second thoughts about the engagement. He tells her that if she marries Stuart, she can never have another chance with Dylan. (That’s supposed to change her mind?) Brenda’s upset to hear that Dylan’s been talking to Jim about the engagement.
Brandon and Lucinda make out on her couch, and she’s ready for more. He accidentally spills some wine on a picture album, and when he opens it to clean it, he realizes that he knows Lucinda’s husband: It’s Professor Randall. Lucinda doesn’t see a problem with this, not like that’s any surprise. Brandon finally decides that the situation is a hugely bad idea, though it sounds like he’s more concerned about Randall flunking him than about sleeping with a married woman.
At home, Brenda confronts Jim about asking Dylan to throw himself at her. She feels like she can’t trust her parents anymore. She remarks that at least the Carsons are upfront about what they expect. The next morning, the Walshes learn that Stuart and Brenda (who took off the night before) had a fight. Brenda’s now at the hotel, looking for a notary public to witness her signing the prenup.
Sears asks Steve for details on his evening with Laura. Steve confronts him for saying he liked Kelly, then hooking up with other girls. Sears reminds him that he hooked up with Laura (or so it appears) while talking about how much he likes Celeste. David is deposed, and Jackie’s lawyer asks why he didn’t call Mel when he realized Erin was sick. She questions how he didn’t know his sister was sick.
The lawyer asks why Mel and Jackie divorced, then why Mel and David’s mother got divorced. David says he doesn’t remember the circumstances. The lawyer mentions that David’s mother had a nervous breakdown, which seems to have been brought on by Mel’s infidelity. Mel fires back that Jackie had a cocaine addiction, but it has nothing to do with Mel’s parenting. David just agrees with the lawyer that Mel was responsible for his mother’s breakdown.
Brandon tries but fails to avoid Randall at the student union. Randall knows that Lucinda and Brandon met at the gym, and he wants Brandon to come over for dinner sometime. Ruh-roh! Brenda meets Stuart at the construction site and makes it clear that she didn’t fall in love with him because of his money. She also wouldn’t want to depend on him because he’s better off than she is, and she wouldn’t want to take his money if they split up. Brenda thinks the prenup probably is a good idea; she just didn’t like being blindsided. She gives Stuart the signed prenup.
At the beach apartment, David tears into Kelly, telling her that Mel cried and accused David of selling him out. Kelly storms out, announcing that she’ll be staying with Jackie. Donna chastises David for getting mad at Kelly for something that wasn’t her fault. He tells her to leave, too, if she’s going to take Kelly’s side, but she wants to stay with him.
Thoughts: Bringing David into the custody battle is pretty mean.
If any of my professors told me to “score,” I’d run screaming from the room.
No woman Lucinda’s age would find Brandon’s cheesy flirting charming. At least not a woman with any dignity. But I guess that’s in short supply around here, huh?
Also, Mr. Morals is okay with adultery? The same guy who had a whole crisis about cheating on a test?
Why is David getting flack for how he reacted when Erin got sick? Jackie was right there. Why call Mel? Once David handed her off to her mother, his job was done.
August 9, 2012
BH90210 4.8, Twenty Years Ago Today: Is That a Gun In Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy to See Brandon?
He really liked that window
Summary: Let’s look at old pictures of Jim and Cindy! It’s their 20th wedding anniversary and their parents are in town to celebrate with them. Jim gives Cindy an emerald necklace since the 20th is the emerald anniversary. Downstairs, Brenda chats with Jim’s mother, who doesn’t seem to like Cindy that much. Cindy’s parents arrive, followed by Stuart, and the younger crowd quickly splits.
Mel brings Erin to the beach apartment and asks David to look after her so he can go to Mexico with his girlfriend. David reluctantly agrees. Brandon tries to get D’Shawn to submit to a tutoring session, but he has to work on this free throws first. Brandon passes the time in the weight room, where he makes eyes at a pretty lady. She’s a cultural anthropology grad student named Lucinda Nicholson, and though she won’t let him call her, she lets him know she’s there every morning at 7.
Cindy and Jim’s mothers bicker while setting up for the anniversary party. Meanwhile, Dylan hangs out in what’s clearly meant to be the hood, having a clandestine meeting with a guy named Gus who can get him a gun. Sears wants to take Kelly out, but she’s going to the Walshes’ party. He tries to invite himself along. She doesn’t want to make things awkward since Dylan will be there. Sears tells her he’s in love with her (no kidding!), but she still wants to move slowly.
Dylan takes his shiny new toy to the shooting range so he can practice busting a cap in a paper target. On campus, Brandon runs into Andrea, who tells him she’s bringing Dan to the party. She introduces the two of them and Dan asks where Brandon’s halo is. (Ha!) Brandon spots Lucinda and chats with her about the party. She makes a comment about people being “short on commitment.” She learns that Brandon’s only 18 and confesses that she’s 27, so they probably shouldn’t be flirting.
Brandon stashes his present for his parents (their wedding photo turned into a giant jigsaw puzzle) at Dylan’s house, where Dylan barely manages to keep him from seeing his gun. Mel summons David to his house to watch Erin since the babysitter’s late showing up. This will make him and Donna late to the party.
Brenda and Brandon get ready, wondering how their parents have stayed happily married for so long. She thinks Stuart might be the one, though Brandon notes that they’ve only been dating for two weeks. She thinks she’ll be lonely if she doesn’t find her Mr. Right soon. Brandon, however, thinks he’s far from settling down; his longest conversation was with Emily, after all. He remembers that the present’s still at Dylan’s and heads off to get it.
Jim’s mother gives him her present, her and Mr. Walsh’s wedding rings. She suggests that he pass them off to one of the twins when the time comes. Brandon hurries to Dylan’s house, but Dylan’s in the shower and doesn’t hear him knock. Brandon decides to break a window to get in, and that, Dylan hears. He grabs his gun and gets ready to shoot, yelling out a warning as Brandon comes in. Brandon tells him an alarm system might be a better idea. Dylan decides to get rid of the gun.
Stuart shows up early to the party, which is all elegant and stuff. Steve brings Celeste and the two of them meet Dan, who admits that he doesn’t believe in marriage. Dylan and Kelly meet up, and he assures her that he’s done with weaponry. She wonders where they’ll be in 20 years. David and Donna show up with Erin, to Jackie’s surprise. As they watch Brenda and Stuart dance, Dylan tells Brandon that he knows Stuart “from the scene,” hinting that he’s not the great guy he appears to be.
Stuart tells Brenda that his parents are only still together as a “business arrangement,” but he believes in love. He decides to make the first toast of the evening and wins everyone over. Jim’s mom thinks Brenda might settle down sooner rather than later. She’s right, since Stuart takes Brenda out to the front porch and proposes. She notes that it’s really fast, but that doesn’t keep her from saying yes.
Andrea confides in Kelly that she lost her virginity to Dan and was shocked by her own impulsivity. Kelly thinks it was good for her to follow her heart. Andrea’s worried that Dan’s even more cerebral than she is, and not at all romantic. Seeing the Walshes together made her think he’s the wrong guy for her. She hasn’t felt the earth move yet. Kelly tells her to give it some time, but Andrea thinks that a lack of sparks at the beginning of a relationship is a bad sign. Kelly points out that she and Dylan have plenty of sparks but can’t make things work.
Jackie realizes that Erin’s sick and demands to know where Mel is. David admits that he went to Mexico. She tells him to let Mel know he’ll hear from her lawyer. Stuart wants to announce the engagement immediately, and if there’s something else that could ruin Jim and Cindy’s night faster, I don’t know what it is. Jim refuses to let them tell anyone else at the party. Then Jim’s mother learns the news and shares it with the whole party.
Kelly, Donna, Andrea, and Celeste are excited about the engagement, but Brandon and Dylan share Cindy and Jim’s feelings. Stuart spots Dylan for the first time and assures him that he’s turned things around. Dylan makes the obligatory hurt-her-and-I’ll-hurt-you speech. (Guess he might not get rid of the gun after all.)
Andrea chats with a bartender named Jesse, who tells her his parents got engaged at his grandparents’ anniversary party. He thinks romanticism is in his genes because of that. Also, he thinks Andrea’s pretty. Brandon asks Brenda if she knows what she’s doing; she says no, but it feels good. He’s worried that she’ll do something she’ll regret.
After the party, Brenda tries to avoid a conversation with her parents. Brandon takes a piece out of the puzzle and the whole thing falls apart. (I hope that wasn’t a metaphor.) Jim wonders how serious things are between Brenda and Stuart. Cindy notes that the ring is pretty serious. However, if they do get married, she hopes they’re as happy as she and Jim are. They end the evening dancing together.
Thoughts: “You ready too many James Bond novels.” No, Gus. They have these things called movies now.
According to the half-plus-seven rule (AKA the Creep Equation), which states that you’re not supposed to date someone younger than half your age plus seven years, Lucinda can date Brandon. I’m not saying she should, but she can.
Brandon, breaking your friend’s window with a wrench to get a giant puzzle may be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. And we all know that’s saying a lot.
Also, the best way to get rid of a gun is to throw it off a pier? Are you in the mob?
A 20-something-year-old who wants to marry an 18-year-old after two weeks together? THE GIANTEST RED FLAG. I’m sure someone suspects Brenda’s pregnant, but even if they’d had sex on their first date, it would still be too early for her to know she’s pregnant.
August 5, 2012
BH90210 4.7, Moving Targets: Happiness is a Warm Gun
Hee hee hee
Summary: The girls are having what they’re calling a sorority meeting at the Peach Pit, but Brenda’s late because she was getting ready for a date with Stuart. The others can’t believe she’s dating a guy named Stuart, and that they met through a set-up arranged by her parents. Donna tells the girls how a regular sorority meeting works (apparently it ends with pins and discussing who lost her virginity). Andrea decides not to volunteer any information about that last part.
Kelly moves on to talk about Dylan’s carjacking, and Brenda says that it looks like the car was found. Indeed, Dylan and Brandon are at an impound lot, having gotten a call about the Porsche, though a cop there doesn’t know anything about it. There was a screw-up, which just makes Dylan madder. Brenda and Stuart go to a club again and she teases him about possible nicknames. He tells her about his father’s disapproval of his various career attempts. She’s surprised, since he was perfectly nice when she met him.
Dan wakes up Andrea in the middle of the night (they’re in his bed) since she thinks she’ll miss a class if she stays with him. She complains about not being able to tell her friends about her relationship. She’s looked at the guidelines about RAs and there’s no rule about them dating students. Dan still doesn’t want to go public since that sort of thing is frowned upon. He’d rather not find out the consequences.
Stuart takes Brenda home, asking him to invite her in. Of course, she won’t, since her parents are there. He wants to spend more time with her, but she doesn’t want to do anything to screw up what they’re getting started. Inside, Jim and Cindy are waiting up to tell Brenda that they don’t like how late she’s been staying out with Stuart. She replies that they should feel lucky that she came home at all.
The next day, Brandon bugs Brenda about Stuart; he seems to think she’s attracted to his money. She says that Stuart’s the first guy since Dylan who knows how to “woo.” After a class, Brandon invites Steve over to study, but he has access to old tests thanks to the KEG house, so he’s not worried about his grades. He teases Brandon about sucking up because he wants to talk to their professor. The two discuss Kelly and Dylan, and Steve says that everyone at the KEG house knows Kelly’s with Sears now.
Dylan meets with Jim about getting another new car. Dylan’s beating himself up for not getting away from the carjacker. He’s shaken by the fact that he just had a gun in his face. Jim suggests that he get counseling, but Dylan has another idea: visiting a shooting range. Jackie stops by the beach apartment to do David’s laundry (…seriously?) and order pizza for the kids. Erin has also come over to be adorable.
Brandon meets with his professor, Cory Randall, who likes sports metaphors. He assures Brandon that if he’s read the chapter, he’s fine. Dan and Andrea run into each other, but she’s upset that they can’t be a public couple. Brandon and Steve discuss their test, and it sounds like Steve’s non-studying has actually paid off. Kelly and Sears hang out, but she still doesn’t want to move their relationship past talking. He’s worried that she’s still interested in Dylan.
Speaking of Dylan, he’s nearby, and Kelly tells him she still wants to be part of his life. He doesn’t seem to care much about his life since he came so close to being killed. Brenda has another date with Stuart, which her parents aren’t too thrilled about. She points out that Jim and Cindy set them up, so they have no reason to object now. They just think things are moving too fast. Just then, Stuart’s father, Larry, calls to invite the Walshes to brunch with his family that weekend.
Steve got a B on Randall’s test, and Brandon got an A+ and a “see me.” Dan and Andrea try to plan a date at a movie theater where they won’t be spotted. Now Andrea wants more time to think about where they should make their public debut. They decide to stay in and play Scrabble instead. (That Andrea knows how to have a good time.) Kelly tells Jackie that Dylan has asked her to go to the gun range with him. She’s pretty sure he has PTSD.
Mel shows up to get Erin, but he’s not alone: He’s with a new girlfriend named Nina. Jackie and Kelly are both upset about that. David argues with Kelly that Jackie and Nina were going to have to meet sooner or later. She tells him he’s as bad as his father. He replies that she’s as neurotic as her mother. Neither will listen to Donna as she tries to make peace.
Kelly and Dylan wind up at the shooting range, but she’s not comfortable with firing a gun. He blasts her for not being prepared to fend off a criminal. Then he fires off a bunch of rounds at a target, because that’s healthy. Afterward, they fight and he tells her she needs to make sure she’s protected because the world isn’t safe for anyone.
The Walshes go to the Carsons’ house, which Jim accurately describes as “overwhelming.” Stuart’s swimming laps, and hello, wet David Gail. Jackie feels bad about her behavior with Mel, but Kelly assures her that everything will be okay. Brandon and Steve see Andrea at the Peach Pit and note that they haven’t seen her for a while. She tells them she’s seeing someone but they’re taking things slowly, like getting into a cold pool. They encourage her to cannonball in naked already.
Kelly tells the guys she’s worried about Dylan and thinks he might have bought of gun. Brandon doesn’t think it’s a big deal; lots of people in L.A. have bought guns since the riots. Kelly says it’s worse than that since Dylan’s troubled and thinks he’s a tough guy. She’s never seen him this angry. She asks Brandon and Steve to talk to him since he won’t listen to her. Brandon promises to do so after he meets with Randall.
Brunch goes well, though Stuart wants to leave when Larry tries to talk business with Jim. (He really just wants to go off and make out with Brenda.) Randall wanted to meet with Brandon to discuss a student named D’Shawn Hardell who needs tutoring. He thinks the two of them would get along well since D’Shawn’s a basketball player and Brandon was a sports editor. D’Shawn needs a C in the class to stay afloat. Brandon agrees to help him out.
Brenda and Stuart play pinball, and he tells her she’s made him feel better about being involved in his family business. Brandon meets D’Shawn in the gym, but D’Shawn will only agree to be tutored if Brandon plays two-on-two with him and some friends. Erin’s over at the beach apartment again, and Kelly’s mad that Mel left her there with David again. The former stepsiblings fight some more until Donna reminds them that the war is between their parents, not them. Kelly and David decide to make peace for their sister’s sake.
Andrea summons Dan to the student union for a date. She then cannonballs into the pool naked, in Brandon and Steve’s parlance, by kissing Dan in the middle of the room. The other students applaud. Jim and Cindy learn from the Carsons that Brenda and Stuart have another date planned for that night. The Carsons aren’t concerned about all the time they’re spending together. When Larry goes looking for Brenda, Stuart tells him that she’s showering. Larry asks him to be more discreet, since Brenda’s younger, and suggests that they cancel their date.
Steve and Brandon hang out with Dylan at his house, bringing up his recent shooting-range visits. Dylan thinks Kelly feels guilty because he was carjacked right after she broke up with him. Later, Dylan tries to buy a gun, but the seller won’t make a deal since Dylan isn’t 21. Unless Dylan wouldn’t mind coming back after hours…
Thoughts: D’Shawn is played by Cress Williams. I never understood why Television Without Pity’s ER recaps called him that. Now I do!
Brenda and Brandon keep saying “woo,” which reminds me of How I Met Your Mother. Then five seconds later, Randall talks about the Mendoza line, which ALSO reminds me of How I Met Your Mother. I was half expecting Neil Patrick Harris to show up next.
I just read The Art of Fielding, so all of Randall’s sports talk both annoyed me and felt fitting.
The Carsons have pinball machines. Now I want to date Stuart.
June 24, 2012
BH90210 3.28, Something in the Air: “Donna Martin Graduates!”
In case you forgot, it’s still all about Brandon
Summary: The West Beverly seniors are trying on their graduation gowns while Brandon and Andrea have an awkward conversation. It seems she’s been avoiding him since their time in the hotel room on prom night. Donna shows up at school and apologizes to David since Felice is blaming Mel for her drunkenness. David thinks it’s good news that the school board hasn’t handed down a suspension yet. Brenda says the same to the rest of their friends.
Donna is summoned to Ms. Teasley’s office, where her parents are waiting. Felice is ticked but Donna’s father is more sympathetic. The superintendent is also present and reminds Donna of the announcement made the previous week about the consequences of any drunkenness at prom. Donna says she doesn’t know if she was drunk, since she doesn’t completely remember everything that happened. However, she admits to drinking, which gets her suspended and sent to a disciplinary hearing with the school board that night.
Toby and Howard, the undergrad Blaze writers, complain that Andrea and Brandon won’t write about Donna’s situation. Toby taunts that they only publish fluff for the senior addition. Donna’s situation is indicative of the entire class of 1993′s “dead spirit.” Jackie lectures Mel for serving the kids champagne and orders him to apologize to Donna’s parents. David and Kelly defend him, but Jackie has more important things on her mind: She’s sold the house, and they have ten days to move out.
Dr. Martin wants to take a lawyer to Donna’s hearing, but Felice thinks it would be embarrassing. Donna feels bad that Felice is upset, but she doesn’t know what else to say. Plus, she’s the one who might not graduate. Felice still has no sympathy for her. The rest of the gang waits at the Peach Pit, where Donna calls to tell Brenda that she’s suspended for five days and can’t graduate. She can attend summer school and graduate in August, but she also has to attend a substance-abuse program. Her parents won’t appeal, and Felice thinks she deserves the punishment.
Brenda shares the news with the others, who debate the pros and cons of admitting that they all drank, too. Most of them think there’s nothing they can do, but Brandon (of course) tries to get Andrea to agree that they should fight back. She declines. Dylan and Kelly head to his place for a study session/sleepover, discussing Dylan’s recent decision to try to get into Berkeley. Kelly isn’t completely on board since she doesn’t want to be apart from him.
Mel apologizes to Jim and Cindy for serving the kids champagne, telling them Felice and Dr. Martin are next on the list. Brandon notes that no one has tried to prove that Donna was really drunk – she could have been sick. Jim replies that if the Martins aren’t going to appeal the decision, it doesn’t matter. Mel and David go to see the Martins, but Felice won’t let them in. David begs her to appeal the decision. Felice tells him that Donna broke the rules, so she has to face the consequences.
Donna agrees with Mel, telling Felice she just wants to graduate with her friends. Felice claims that she’s already tried to use her influence with the school board. She doesn’t want Donna to humiliate her any more than she already has. Donna complains that Felice isn’t fighting back because she’s ashamed. She brings up Felice’s affair, saying it’s similar to her situation. Donna and her father forgave Felice, so why can’t she forgive Donna?
The gang gets called to Ms. Teasley’s office, thinking Donna sold them out. Steve orders everyone to keep quiet. Dylan thinks the school board wants to use their statements to build a case against Donna. Ms. Teasley informs them that instead, the Martins have decided to appeal, and they want Donna’s friends to write letters on her behalf. They all feel bad for thinking Donna ratted them out. Dylan doesn’t think the letters will help, because he’s incapable of being optimistic about anything.
Gil tells Brandon that he’s right about feeling like Donna’s being railroaded. When the Supreme Court hears a case, thousands of people gather in Washington to give their opinions. Maybe the West Beverly students should do the same. Brandon doesn’t think the students will march to support anything but a sale. Gil tells him they just need a leader, and once upon a time, he would have pegged Brandon to be that person.
Brandon visits Jim at his office to ask for advice on leading a ’60s-style protest. He also wants to warn Jim in case he gets himself in trouble. Back at school, Brandon tells Andrea that finals are the key to the protest: If the seniors walk out of the exams, none can graduate, and the school board will have to listen to them. Andrea admits that it could work, but she’s worried about what she’ll be risking. If she doesn’t take her finals, she can’t be valedictorian. Brandon reminds her that she always wants to do something memorable.
Steve is also anti-protest, thinking he’ll wind up getting expelled, since he’s still on probation. Brandon points out to him and the rest of the gang that Donna would do this for any of them. Dylan is on Steve’s side; Donna will still graduate, just not with them. Brandon argues that this is about making a statement and being heard. David’s willing to risk early graduation to help Donna. Andrea’s also on board, and Steve comes around. Dylan tries to talk Kelly out of the protest, apologizing for not putting his future at risk. She says she’s not the one who needs the apology.
The kids spend the evening calling their classmates, all of whom are willing to support Donna. In the morning, Toby notes that Brandon wouldn’t support the possible dress code last week because it didn’t affect him, but now he’s organized a protest for a friend. She’s actually on his side and tells him that if he adds dropping the dress code to the seniors’ demands, they’ll get hundreds more to march with them. The other kids agree.
Jim, Cindy, Mel, and Jackie all show up for Donna’s hearing. Jackie tells Felice that she would be against Donna if she thought her punishment would deter kids from drinking, but she knows that wouldn’t work. Felice says she just wants to see Donna graduate. At school, Gil notices everyone watching the clock, including Dylan. At the planned time, everyone gets up and walks out of the room. Gil’s pleased. Dylan stays back, but after a minute he decides to join the others.
The students gather outside for their march, chanting, “Donna Martin graduates!” Meanwhile, the disciplinary hearing begins with Donna being given the opportunity to tell her side of the story. She admits that she’s scared, but both of her parents tell her things will be okay. Donna tells the board that she’s sorry she got drunk, but she was just celebrating with her friends. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with Mel’s champagne toast. She’s enjoyed high school and just wants to graduate with her friends.
The march takes everyone to the building where the hearing is being held. The superintendent isn’t happy that the students are there instead of taking their finals. Andrea comes in to announce that they’re there to show support to Donna. She reads a statement from the juniors and seniors telling the board that they won’t take finals unless Donna can graduate. The superintendent thinks Andrea’s ridiculous.
Felice goes outside and yells at the crowd that they’re not helping. Donna spent the morning apologizing, and the protest has probably undone all of that. “You all are the last thing I need here right now!” she tells Brandon. Brandon fails to respond that this isn’t about her. The superintendent threatens to call the police, but Ms. Teasley and a school-board member urge him to drop the case. The member asks if anyone bothered to consider the students’ reactions to the board’s recent decisions. The superintendent threatens to get the protestors’ college admissions revoked.
Ms. Teasley delivers a message to Brandon, which he shares with the other protestors: If they don’t drop the march, they’ll all be flunked. Dylan responds on everyone’s behalf that they’ll all just go to summer school with Donna. Even Jim thinks things have gone too far. Brandon tells him he sounds like Spiro Agnew. The students take the protest into the hearing and make it clear that they won’t back down.
Brandon makes a speech about how the school board made the alcohol rule because they thought they could enforce on someone who isn’t squeaky clean. Donna doesn’t deserve to be punished, so the students aren’t going to let that happen. Brandon adds that the juniors won’t be happy if the dress code isn’t dropped. A board member proposes that they drop the dress code and let Donna graduate as long as she attends a substance-abuse program. The vote is three to two in Donna’s favor. That evening, the gang celebrates at the Peach Pit and Donna gets her cap and gown.
Thoughts: Wouldn’t the school rather let Donna graduate so they don’t have to deal with her anymore? I mean, either make an example of her or don’t, but you might as well let her go so the whole ordeal goes away.
I guess Gil is supposed to be the cool, with-it teacher everyone likes. I just find him smarmy and annoying.
Speaking of annoying, shut up, Felice. Shut up forever.
