March 10, 2012

BH90210 3.10, Home and Away: “Brandon of Beverly Hills, You Don’t Know Squat”

Posted in TV tagged Beverly Hills 90210, Gil Meyers, Nikki Witt, questionable sartorial decisions, school dance at 2:49 pm by Jenn

In case you need visual proof that this show is from the '90s

Summary: After some random football-game footage, Brandon attempts to write an editorial for the Blaze while he flashes back to a post-game party at the Peach Pit. (He narrates the episode, which is really annoying.) There’s some exposition that Brenda has agreed to head up a committee to organize a school dance (the Pigskin Prom) that will give proceeds to kids. Donna thinks Sue is coming on to David, but Kelly thinks he sees her as a little sister.

Brandon’s hanging out with some football players, including Tony and Kyle, talking about their future game against a tough school called Shaw. There was some violent incident at Shaw after the game, but Brandon doesn’t really think about it. The next morning, Jim tells Brandon that two spectators were shot and killed at Shaw the night before. He thinks the Shaw/West Beverly game will be canceled.

At school, Brandon, Tony, and Kyle discuss the incident with another player, who disagrees with Tony that the violence was related to race. Football practice is canceled so the coach can go to an emergency school board meeting. Brenda auditions bands for the dance, but she has no control over the situation. Donna tells her to just hire David to DJ. Kelly’s excited because her father called the night before and has promised to come to town that weekend. That means she has to leave the dance committee since she won’t be attending the dance.

Brandon follows Coach Chapman and Ms. Teasley to the school board meeting, but only learns that a decision to cancel the game won’t be made until Monday. Brandon meets a Shaw student named Jordan Bonner who thinks the game dramatics are ridiculous; the violence had nothing to do with West Beverly. He assures Brandon that the West Beverly students have nothing to worry about. He also calls Brandon out for pretending he knows anything about gang violence. Jordan predicts that the game will be canceled, and he’s right.

Andrea and Gil interrupt Brandon’s narration/writing to see how his editorial is coming. He asks for 45 more minutes, since that’s how much time is left in the episode. But after Gil leaves, Brandon admits to Andrea that he needs more time. Apparently 15 extra minutes are enough. David books the Pigskin Prom, but Sue’s tagging along, and Donna isn’t happy about it. She lets it slip that she influenced Brenda’s decision to allow him to DJ. David assures her that Sue isn’t a problem.

Andrea checks on Brandon again, and he tells her he’ll take his time and lay the paper out himself. She warns him not to sneak in any swear words. Brandon goes back to narrating as he calls Jordan to talk about some super-secret plan. Kelly’s still on a high from the news that her father’s coming to town. Brandon thinks Brenda should cancel the dance since the game was also canceled. Donna suggests that they move the game to West Beverly, but Brandon thinks that will bring the violence there. Nikki decides to stay in the neutral zone, which is the smartest decision she’s ever made.

The phrase “neutral zone” gives Brandon an idea, and he drives to another part of town while thinking of Henry, whose store was trashed during the L.A. riots. Brandon visits Shaw, where students have to walk through metal detectors, and meets up with Jordan. He wants to ask the school board to move the game to a neutral location. Jordan sarcastically suggests Switzerland. He says if the game is played anywhere but Shaw, the gangs will win. They need to take a stand and let everyone know that Shaw students aren’t afraid.

Jordan is also a writer and has written an editorial about the past few days’ events. This gives Brandon another idea. He goes with Jordan to the locker that belonged to one of the dead students, who was a friend of Jordan’s. Brandon asks if the student was in a gang, but Jordan says it doesn’t matter. He’s mad that Brandon is only focusing on the game when two people are dead. He thinks Brandon should write a eulogy for the game. Jordan has already written one for his friends, and he and Brandon will publish both articles in both schools’ papers.

Brandon heads back to West Beverly with Jordan’s editorial, which Gil and Andrea balk at. They think it’s racist and inflammatory, not least because Jordan basically calls Coach Chapman a Nazi. Brandon thinks this is the best article they’ll get on the two dead students. Andrea says it’s too long, as if that’s the only problem. Gil says Brandon can write his own editorial, but they can’t publish Jordan’s in the Blaze.

Brandon goes back to his article, slamming everyone for focusing on the game and dance rather than the dead students. He wants everyone to “join together to form one circle.” His editorial is a call to arms. Jordan stops by with his editorial, which Brandon has already planned to print behind Andrea and Gil’s backs. Jordan calls him naïve, saying the first editorial was just his way of getting through his anger: “This is me getting through.” The new version is only two paragraphs, but they’re well-written. Brandon gives his editorial to Jordan, who’s skeptical about the call to arms.

The next day, Brenda blasts Brandon for inviting the Shaw students to the Pigskin Prom. She thinks the dance is going to be canceled. Everyone else is also mad at Brandon, including Gil and Ms. Teasley. Andrea feels betrayed, but Brandon doesn’t care. Gil has covered for Brandon, having told Ms. Teasley that some copy “fell through the cracks.” Andrea’s mad since her name has been on the masthead longer than theirs.

Gil tells Brandon he knows how much of a concession he made to change Jordan’s editorial. Brandon says he didn’t change anything. He wants to break the West Beverly students out of their sheltered existence and make them care. Gil also has to meet with Ms. Teasley about the dance, as he’s the faculty advisor. Dylan’s on Brandon’s side, telling Brenda that he likes what Jordan wrote. Brenda thinks they should go to dinner with Kelly and her father if the dance is canceled, but Dylan doesn’t think Mr. Taylor is going to show.

Steve and Donna confront Brandon over the possibility of the dance being canceled and David not getting to show his stuff to some record-label guys. Brandon meets with Ms. Teasley, who thinks that the school has no choice but to cancel the dance. Brandon argues that the Shaw students aren’t that different from the West Beverly students. She says it’s about violence, not race. Brandon asks if Shaw students would have been allowed at West Beverly before the shootings (which is a pretty gutsy thing to imply toward a black woman).

Brenda, Kelly, and Donna go shopping as Brenda relays the information that the Shaw students have been okayed to come to the dance. Donna’s still upset about Sue hanging around David. Brenda asks Kelly if she’s sure her father’s going to show, but Kelly thinks she’s being judgmental. “If you don’t know anything about something, maybe you should just shut up,” she says. David and Kelly both get ready for their respective events that night, though Mr. Taylor is running late. They wish each other luck.

Jim and Cindy aren’t happy with Brandon’s recent behavior, especially visiting Shaw on his own. He notes that they can’t keep him locked up in the house. Brenda’s going to the dance alone, since Dylan won’t be attending. Jordan calls to tell Brandon that a bunch of Shaw students are heading to the dance, but they’ve been drinking. David does the world’s dorkiest mic check with his new band and gets a lot of screaming praise from Sue, who Steve calls “user-friendly.”

Brandon, Brenda, and Nikki run in to warn Gil about the drunk students. “Guess who’s coming to dinner,” Nikki tells Steve and Donna. Security is a little too observant and almost won’t let Jordan in. Jordan thinks they should get some metal detectors. David’s equally worried about the Shaw students crashing and about Sue, asking Steve to get rid of her. He should be more worried about Sue than Shaw, as she totally wants to do him. David finally tells her that hooking up would be “incestuous.” She tells him he doesn’t know what he’s missing.

Tony and Kyle are ready to take on any crashers, though Brandon notes that security will handle them. Gil finally shows up and gets the scoop from Brandon. Meanwhile, Dylan decides to spend the evening alone at the Peach Pit, but Kelly’s there, having been ditched by her father. She admits that the last time this happened, she and some guy got high together, and her mother was so high herself that she didn’t know Kelly was gone. Dylan tells her that some people do change, then encourages her to go to the dance. She doesn’t know where to laugh or cry; he says no one does.

Security tries to keep the Shaw students out, even the ones who are there because of Brandon’s article, not to crash. However, those students warn Jordan that the West Beverly kids aren’t his friends. Everyone stays separated like it’s West Side Story, and Brandon tries to keep things calm. Then a fight breaks out, but it’s between Tony and one of the West Beverly players, who’s mistaken for a Shaw student since he’s black. They say they were just messing around as they always do.

Nikki and Donna try to break the tension by asking Shaw students to dance. Soon students from both schools are dancing together. And then David raps. A Shaw student joins him, though really the only appropriate response in this situation is to laugh and throw things at the white kid. There’s some Electric Sliding and general merriment, then slow dancing. David assures Donna that Sue isn’t going to be an issue.

Jordan tells Brandon that his friends who were killed would have liked being at the dance, though Brandon would have ticked them off. They watch the football players from their respective teams hang out, and Brandon suggests a friendly game in a park the next day. Jordan says no one could have predicted this outcome, but Brandon thinks anyone could have.

Thoughts: Jordan is Brandon if Brandon were successful. I think I love him.

Funny how Brandon thinks he and Jordan solved racism or whatever in this episode, when it’s really Nikki.

Andrea, I don’t think Brandon even knows any swear words.

Also, Nice Laura Ashley jumpsuit, Andrea. You’ve completely given up trying, haven’t you?

Steve: “I hooked him up with a band, didn’t I?” Donna: “I thought David found him.” Steve: “I was in the room when he called.” Don’t tell anyone, but Steve is secretly my favorite.

Donna: “I really wish someone would dance.” David: (dorky dances moves). Thanks a lot, Donna.

When David raps, I, like Kelly, don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

You know the recent revelation that Brian Austin Green won’t let Megan Fox watch this show? I think he had this episode in mind when he made that rule.

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