SVH #6, Dangerous Love: What Do You Expect From a Guy Named Crunch?

October 30, 2009

SVH #6, Dangerous Love: What Do You Expect From a Guy Named Crunch?

Hellooooo, Todd's arms

Summary: Todd is obsessed with the motorcycle he bought in All Night Long, but Elizabeth can’t ride it – her parents have forbidden her, Jessica, and Steven from riding motorcycles after their cousin died in a motorcycle crash. So Todd rides everywhere on his motorcycle anyway, giving rides to other girls, while Elizabeth rides in cars and gets jealous. Todd eventually decides that he’d rather have Elizabeth than the bike, so he sells it to an alcoholic SVH drop-out named Crunch McAllister. Elizabeth decides that since the bike is about to be out of the picture, it’s now okay to ride it (even without a helmet), so she lets Todd give her a ride to a party. In a “twist” worthy of any ’90s afterschool special, they get in an accident – with Crunch. Elizabeth ends up in a coma. To be continued!

The B plot (if you can call it that) involves Enid’s 16th birthday party and Jessica wanting to go out with Enid’s cousin Brian.

Thoughts: For once, it’s Elizabeth who makes the bad decision and Jessica who feels responsible. Jessica and Brian were supposed to give Elizabeth a ride, and Jessica feels that if they had, Elizabeth wouldn’t have gotten on Todd’s motorcycle. She also doesn’t worry about how Elizabeth’s accident will affect her, which I would consider huge growth rather than a normal human response. I guess that’s known as character development.

Speaking of Jessica, in the week since the last book, she’s already hooked up with a new guy, who she promptly dumps for Brian. So maybe she’s not growing after all.

I would like to state for the record that Crunch drives a purple van. I guess a guy nicknamed Crunch is allowed to drive whatever he wants.

Does anyone else find Mr. Collins a little creepy? He seems a little too involved in his students’ lives. Enid’s mom asks him to chaperone her party (what kind of birthday party for teens needs chaperones?), and he stays at the hospital with the Wakefields because Elizabeth is “special” to him. What kind of “special,” Mr. Collins? What kind of special?

Has anyone ever solved the mystery of why the restaurant/hot SVH hangout is called the Dairi Burger, not the Dairy Burger? Was it hipper to have an I instead of an Y there in the ’80s? Because now it’s apparently hipper the other way around. Also, why would a burger joint serve a hot clam special? What exactly is a hot clam special, anyway? Why do I have so many questions that can’t possibly be answered?

I finally came across a snark-worthy outfit in this book – in fact, two. First Elizabeth suggests that Jessica wear a green polka-dot dress with puff sleeves. Classy. Jessica ends up wearing a black and white satin jumpsuit with spaghetti straps. I can’t wrap my mind around what that would possibly look like, but I’m sure some current C-list celebrity would own five of them.

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