January 29, 2012

BH90210 3.4, Sex, Lies and Volleyball/Photo Finish: Lie, Cheat, Steal

Posted in TV tagged , , at 4:02 pm by Jenn

Danger! Danger!

Summary: Brandon and Steve are at the beach club, eagerly awaiting the arrival of hot girls for a volleyball tournament. Steve also thinks the two of them will win the tournament. He spots a pretty girl named Nikki Witt and thinks she’s there for volleyball. She’s actually there to find her aunt’s cabana, and she’s more interested in David’s music than Steve’s…whatever. Nikki even says David reminds her of George Michael.

Over in Paris, Brenda and Donna hang out with one of their classmates, but Donna’s annoyed that they keep speaking French. She also goes off on a bakery worker who calls her an idiot for not speaking perfect French. Brenda notes that at least Donna was able to understand the woman. Someone takes photos of Donna, saying that her employer would like to meet her. Does she have any modeling experience?

Kelly and Dylan both turn up at the tournament without partners, so she suggests that they play together. (Play volleyball. Yes, that’s what she meant.) Brandon and Steve work at the registration table, which allows them to meet all the hot girls they were hoping would arrive. Steve tries to pick up a girl named Brooke, who’s there for some serious competition, and assures her that he’d make a great partner.

Brooke watches Steve play, then meets Brandon, who she hits it off with (they’re both from Minnesota, and Brandon played hockey against her brother). After she leaves, Steve literally tells Brandon he saw her first. Brandon assures him that he’d never move in on his territory. Donna does a photo shoot, and the photographer’s assistant seems unhappy with her talent. Kelly teases David for his music, so he doesn’t tell her he’s attracted Nikki’s attention.

David plays a truly horrible song for Nikki, who’d like a demo tape. You know, like the one her boyfriend’s band made. David wonders if her boyfriend would have a problem with them hanging out. (Uh, would Donna have a problem with you hanging out?) Nikki says he doesn’t need to know. By the way, she thinks keyboard players are hotter than drummers. Donna gets flowers from her photographer, Pierre, who wants her to do a photo shoot that day. That means missing a trip to Versailles, which Donna had been looking forward to for weeks.

Dylan and Kelly win a game in the tournament, then decide to celebrate by watching Casablanca while they babysit Erin. First they join Brandon and Andrea, who are watching Steve and Brooke’s game. They also win, and Steve invites Brooke to the Peach Pit that night. Brooke asks Brandon to come along. She spends the evening gushing over Brandon and ignoring Steve. Brandon promises Steve that he’s not trying to interfere with his date; in fact, he’s willing to leave so they can be alone. Before he goes, Brooke invites him to call her sometime.

Brandon goes by Dylan’s to talk to him about the Steve/Brook situation. Brandon laments wanting to ask out the girl his friend is into. Dylan gives him the horrible advice that “all’s fair in love and volleyball.” He then heads over to the Silver/Taylors’ and impresses Kelly with his child-soothing skills. Though he also tells Erin that the only person she can trust in the world is herself, so maybe he shouldn’t be allowed around children.

Brenda’s concerned that Donna skipped a day of shopping for another photo shoot. Her classmate thinks that Donna’s about to get a rude awakening from working with an older man. For some reason, Brenda responds to this by smoking. That night, Donna tells Brenda that Pierre has offered her a contract (which is in French). This means dropping out of the summer program. Brenda notes that the contract is for two years, but Donna isn’t concerned.

At the beach club, Steve laughs over the fact that David and Donna haven’t had sex yet. David tells him that Donna wants to wait until she’s married. Steve encourages him to have sex with Nikki; Donna won’t want to be with someone who’s inexperienced, and she’s probably hooking up with guys in Paris anyway.

Steve and Brooke face off against Dylan and Kelly in the tournament, and though the latter team doesn’t play well, they have fun together. Brooke’s pleased with her choice in partners. Steve invites her over for some champagne, but Brooke has to break his heart and tell him she just likes him as a friend.

Brenda confronts Donna about her decision to drop out of school to become a model. She points out that her parents will never approve. Donna reminds Brenda that Jim and Cindy haven’t approved of all of her decisions. Donna wants to make her own money and become more than the dumb girl in their group of friends. Brenda asks about David, wondering if Pierre has become more important. Donna insists that Pierre’s just a business colleague. Brenda points out that people cheat, which Donna knows all too well.

Brooke meets Jim and Cindy at the club, then invites Brandon to go for a drive after work. He tells her he can’t because Steve likes her. Brooke says that means none of them will be dating each other, since she doesn’t want to date Steve. Brandon decides that since Brooke told Steve they’re just going to be friends, she’s fair game.

Kelly catches David and Nikki making out in a cabana and blasts him for cheating Donna. She tells him he has a lot to learn about women. Brandon drops Brooke off after their drive and they almost kiss, but he hesitates. She suggests that Brandon and Steve go out. Brandon kisses her, possibly to make her shut up.

Donna goes to a party with Pierre, staying after with him to talk about her nerves over becoming a professional model. He promises to help her, then starts touching her in some icky ways. Donna reminds him that they’re there for business. Pierre tells her to read between the lines of her contract, calling her a baby. She starts to leave and he tells her not to be stupid. This gets her to stay.

In the morning, Brenda and Donna make up, and Donna admits that Brenda was right about Pierre. Donna threw wine on him and quit. Brenda promises that she’ll never be ordinary. She compliments Donna for all the progress she’s made in Paris: She’s speaking more French, she has a photo portfolio, and she’s started standing up for herself. Donna thanks her in French.

David and Nikki meet up at the Peach Pit so he can tell her he has a girlfriend. Not that Nikki cares, since she has a boyfriend. David doesn’t feel right fooling around behind Donna’s back, especially with someone he likes so much. Nikki complains that her boyfriend treats her like dirt; she wishes she could find someone like David. He gives her a demo tape as a parting gift.

Brooke and Steve are still in the tournament, but they’re not playing well. Brandon tells Steve not to blow everything over a girl. Steve tells him he’s at least playing a clean game, unlike Brandon the liar. Brandon argues that he didn’t go after Brooke, she went after him. Steve admits that he would have acted the way Brandon did if their roles were reversed. He’s just ticked that he’s never in Brandon’s shoes. Steve apologizes to Brooke and they start playing better, eventually winning the tournament.

Kelly tells Dylan that at first she regretted not going to Paris, but her summer’s turning out well. She thinks they’ll be good friends. David shares a postcard from Donna with Kelly; he’s pleased that she misses him. He thanks Kelly for being a good sister and calling him out for cheating. Kelly then heads off to most likely do something naughty with her best friend’s boyfriend.

Thoughts: I love the slo-mo volleyball shots, like, let’s all watch Ian Ziering hit a ball.

Yeah, sorry, Donna’s not a model.

“You’re so precious to me. Am I precious to you?” Freaking A, David. Your “music” sucks. I can’t even defend you anymore.

This episode was bad advice central. These people are horrible to each other in so many ways.

“She came after me”? That’s your excuse, Brandon? I’d say you were the worst offender in this episode, but it’s totally going to turn out to be Kelly and Dylan, so I can’t. I hate you the most, though.



  1. I just finished watching this season! Funny recap and yes David Silver should be banned from all electronic keyboard devices.

  2. Dorothy Mantooth said,

    “You’re so precious to meee…am I preeecious to-o you-ooo,” still haunts me during those occasional long dark nights of the soul.

    • Jenn said,

      I hope it also haunts whoever wrote the lyrics.

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