April 8, 2012

BH90210 3.16, It’s a Totally Happening Life: Hark! The Herald Angels Bore

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 5:01 pm by Jenn

And then something really stupid happens

Summary: Up in the cosmos over the Walshes’ house, an angel named Miriam whines to an angel named Clarence that something horrible is going to happen and she needs his help. They look in on West Beverly High, where the madrigals are singing Christmas carols in the hall. The kids wrap presents for a party they’re throwing for underprivileged kids at another school. Clarence questions how any of them could have problems since they’re so good-looking.

Steve complains to Andrea about having to serve detention, though he should be glad that’s all he got. The girls need a Santa for the party with the underprivileged kids, and the job falls to Dylan. Miriam tells Clarence that all this actually happened two days ago. Now the kids are on a bus, and they’re not happy or talking to each other. Clarence doesn’t care.

Miriam takes them back two days, when Andrea (now healed) gets a call from her grandmother telling her she got a letter from Yale. Unfortunately, it’s a small envelope. Brandon and Gil try to cheer her up and decide to bet on the outcome. The three of them go to Andrea’s apartment to find out for sure what the letter says. It’s an acceptance letter. Andrea decides that Gil will have to shave because he lost the bet. She also has a letter from Jay, but it doesn’t have good news.

At the Walshes’, Brandon blasts Jay for dumping Andrea via letter, saying he never liked the guy anyone. His family guesses that he never said anything because he never wanted to sound jealous, petty, or bitter. Brandon says it doesn’t matter since he’s with Nikki now. Kelly and Dylan show up to help the Walshes trim the tree.

Back at school, Gil has to shave his beard, though Andrea tells him at the last minute that he doesn’t have to. David and Donna are there as well, and she notices that he seems upset. David’s sad that his friends are all going to graduate before him. (I thought he was working on graduating early?) Andrea asks Brandon to see a movie that night, but he has plans to see Nikki, who’s been in San Francisco.

Brandon and Nikki make out on his bed, getting interrupted by Cindy, who should really start making her children keep their doors open. It’s for the best anyway, since Nikki needs to tell Brandon something important: She’s moving back in with her parents in San Francisco. She only came back to L.A. to get her things and say goodbye to Brandon. Clarence says Brandon will be fine, but Miriam says he won’t if he gets on the bus.

Later that night, Brenda complains to Brandon about the Dylan/Kelly deception. Brandon tells her about his break-up with Nikki. Miriam takes Clarence to the Peach Pit a few nights earlier, when Brenda and Kelly had a come-to-Jesus meeting with Dylan about admitting their feelings and getting back to being friends. Basically, no one will be dating Dylan for the immediate future. Dylan thinks that’s for the best.

The arrangement works for a while, until Dylan and Kelly come over to decorate the tree and study Shakespeare. Kelly goes downstairs to get some sodas, passing the living room, where the other Walshes are watching It’s a Wonderful Life. (Clarence has never heard of it, har har.) Kelly thinks Jimmy Stewart is Cary Grant. Upstairs, Dylan and Brenda suddenly start making out, then stop just as suddenly, blaming old habits.

At the Peach Pit the next day, Kelly tells Brenda and Dylan that David’s mother has decided to move to Oregon. After she leaves, Brenda and Dylan discuss their “little accident” the day before, reaffirming that it won’t happen again. Brenda and Donna leave to finish planning the Christmas party, and Kelly winds up going to Dylan’s place. He doesn’t think he’ll make a convincing Santa. Kelly tells him her favorite visit to Santa at the mall happened to be to a Chinese one. The two start making out, and when Brenda comes by with Dylan’s Santa costume, she catches them.

Brenda confronts the two of them and brings up her own make-out session with Dylan the day before. Now both girls are mad at him. Kelly tries to excuse her behavior as trying to convince Dylan to play Santa. The girls realize they can’t all be friends. Dylan blames them for starting all the kissing.

At school the next day, Brenda tells Donna that Dylan and Kelly can’t be part of the party. Donna balks, so Brenda says she won’t go instead. Dylan also backs out, telling Donna that he doesn’t think the party will make a difference for the kids anyway. Kelly’s next to try to get out of the party, so Donna tells her Brenda isn’t going. David also drops out, saying he’s not a senior and has been “tagging along” with the others for too long.

Steve’s not supposed to go to the party – he’s been banned from school activities – so Donna tries to convince him to go in disguise, specifically as Santa. He won’t. Even Andrea isn’t up for the party, saying she does enough charity work anyway. Mostly she doesn’t want to be around Brandon. Donna wonders if all of this is some sort of message. Brandon tries to back out, saying that he’s not in a festive mood. He believes Gil, the party’s faculty sponsor, will support this.

Too bad Gil isn’t the sponsor – Ms. Teasley is, and she’s not going to let any of the volunteers drop out. Everyone has to go unless he or she has pneumonia – “and I want to see that chest x-ray.” This takes us back to the kids riding the bus, all upset with each other. Clarence interrupts to ask for more information on Brandon and Andrea. (Thanks a lot, Clarence.)

Miriam goes to the Peach Pit, where Brandon is complaining to Nat about his break-up with Nikki. Andrea shows up and Brandon asks her to see a movie, like she’d wanted to before. She has to babysit, so she invites him along. (Andrea, what would Kristy say?) After the sitting charge is in bed, Andrea and Brandon watch It’s a Wonderful Life. She brings up the time he tried to convince her to stay in Beverly Hills for the summer. Then they make out. Andrea stops the kissing to accuse Brandon of thinking of Nikki. He in turn accuses her of thinking of Jay.

Miriam tells Clarence that the bus is about to crash with a truck driven by a drunk guy. Clarence has already taken care of it, or so he thinks. He’s actually diverted the wrong driver. While the kids are on the bus, Steve goes to the party anyway and meets up with Gil. Miriam begs Clarence to stop the truck, asking him to “call upstairs” if necessary. Clarence says they have to “let destiny run its course.” This involves everyone sniping at each other while the madrigals sing Christmas carols.

Donna finally puts the smackdown on everyone, asking if they plan to be grumpy when they get to the party. Kelly says they’ll pass out presents, but probably won’t enjoy themselves. Donna notes that this is a good time of year to stop thinking about themselves. If they can’t appreciate all the good things in their lives, they should just get off the bus right now. Miriam supports that idea. Now everyone wants to make up.

Steve and Gil are entertaining the kids at the party when they spot the bus and truck both approaching. There’s nothing Clarence or Miriam can do, which makes this whole thing pretty pointless. Steve sees the truck going the wrong way on a one-way street and tries to stop the driver. Instead, the truck heads for an intersection as the bus comes from another direction. But instead of crashing, they pass through each other.

Gil and Steve welcome everyone to the party, where Ms. Teasley punishes Steve by giving him the Santa costume. The kids all get presents, and Dylan shows a little girl how to play with a yo-yo, because he is wonderful and adorable. David tells Donna that if he takes extra courses (as he’d previously planned), he can graduate early. Another non-problem solved!

Ms. Teasley approves of Steve’s portrayal of Santa. Brenda and Kelly inform Dylan that he needs to pick which one of them he wants to be with on New Year’s Eve. Donna hears a bell ring, which means an angel got its wings. Yes, it was Miriam. Bleh.

Thoughts: You’d think that in an episode with a title playing off of It’s a Wonderful Life, the plot would be about how things would be if, say, the Walshes never came to Beverly Hills. Andrea even mentions that briefly. But no, we got this junk instead.

So…that’s it for Nikki? Good. Her presence meant nothing.

Donna calling in Ms. Teasley to yell at everyone was awesome.

For two girls who tend to be melodramatic, Brenda and Kelly deciding to let Dylan choose between them is really anticlimactic. I mean, are we really supposed to believe that the girl he doesn’t choose is just going to be okay with it?

1 Comment »

  1. XTC said,

    The whole magical framing of this was just horrible. Lose the supernatural nonsense including the truck driver false-drama, tell it chronologically (or overlapping POV, like The Simpsons’ “Trilogy of Error”), let Donna be the “force for good” throughout the episode and it would have been far more watchable.

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