August 20, 2012

SVH #126, Tall, Dark, and Deadly: Look Who’s Stalking

Posted in books tagged , , , , , at 8:31 pm by Jenn

Okay, the guy in the window is legit creepy, but the rest of the book is ridiculous

Summary: Jessica goes looking for a lost earring in a Dumpster at the Dairi Burger and instead finds a kitten. Oh, and a dead guy. His blood has been drained and there’s something on his neck that looks like a bite mark. So clearly this was an accidental death and the police have no reason to investigate. Yeah, I wish. Anyway, no one knows what happened, and the only witness is the cat, who Jessica takes home and names Jasmine.

In what’s certainly a coincidence that has nothing to do with the murder, there’s a new guy in school, Jonathan Cain. He’s pale and wears dark clothes and is all mysterious. You know, like someone whose name rhymes with Bedward Mullen. All the girls at school immediately fall in love with him, especially Jessica, who makes him her latest obsession, and Enid, who goes goth for him. Enid’s ticked that Elizabeth’s hanging out with Maria Slater, which means Liz isn’t around to tell her she’s being a huge idiot.

Elizabeth thinks Jonathan’s a jerk, but Jessica basically starts stalking him. She buys a hot red dress to impress him, then jumps on the back of his motorcycle. Rather than call the police to report a psych stalker, Jonathan tells Liz to keep her sister away from him. Enid also stalks him, following him home to a huge mansion that looks like it’s really abandoned. Oh, and Jessica finds her earring on her windowsill, which is admittedly weird.

In the middle of all this, Liz is flipping out over Joey, her camp crush, who’s going to be transferring to UCLA. She thinks about dumping Todd but chickens out. Maria proves to be the smartest person in the series by giving her actual good advice (like “cut it out already), but of course Elizabeth won’t listen to her. Liz gets a letter from Joey and finds a paddle from camp in her locker, so it looks like Jessica and Enid aren’t the only stalkers in the book. Elizabeth decides it’s better to be bored with Todd but not hurt his feelings, so she tries to forget about Joey.

The stories collide when Jessica sneaks out one night to go see Jonathan. Enid’s also on her way there because the girl is seriously, seriously obsessed. Elizabeth hears a news report about a blond teenager being found at Secca Lake with her blood drained. She thinks it’s Jessica and calls Todd to come get her and take her to the lake. But instead, Joey shows up. Meanwhile, Jessica goes to Jonathan’s house, where he kisses her, then tells her she made a mistake coming there.

Thoughts: I hate this everyone’s-in-love-with-the-vampiry-guy Twilight crap. I prefer my vampire stories to involve slayers and souls.

Of course Enid goes goth. Of all the SVH teens, she’s the one who would go goth.

Maria drives a tan Mercedes. Why get a Mercedes if you’re not going to get one that’s red or silver?

After she loses the earring, Jessica keeps wearing the other one by itself. That is a weird girl. But I can’t help thinking of the other girls at school doing the same thing, like Jessica’s Regina George accidentally starting a new trend.

When Jessica jumps on his motorcycle, Jonathan drivers her around for a while, then yells at her about it. So why let her ride with you if you didn’t want her to?

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