December 2, 2012
BH90210 4.27, Divas: Clare and Present Danger
Summary: Brenda uses microfiche (remember that?) to look up articles on a theater director named Roy Randolph. He’ll be coming to CU to direct the campus production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and Brenda wants to play the lead, Maggie. Dylan runs into Brenda on the way out of the library; he’s there to pick up some books for Erica. Donna, Kelly, and Andrea are already at the Peach Pit, Brenda’s next stop, and Andrea’s grumpy not to have any nice maternity clothes. Kelly offers to give her some of Jackie’s.
Suzanne and Erica are at the Peach Pit with some guy the girls don’t know and who Erica clearly doesn’t like. The girls invite Erica to “pledge” their “sorority.” She tells them the guy is Suzanne’s new boyfriend. Brandon gets a surprise in the form of Clare, who is totally not stalking him. She lets Brandon know that she just turned 18, so now there’s no reason for him not to go out with her. You know, other than the fact that he can’t stand her and doesn’t make any secret of that fact. Brandon pretends he just doesn’t want to date the chancellor’s daughter.
Dylan interrupts their conversation and Clare kisses Brandon goodbye. Dylan remarks that he thought Brandon would be done with women for a while after the whole Lucinda debacle. Brandon asks him to keep quiet about Clare. Then Dylan meets Suzanne’s boyfriend, whose name is Kevin Weaver. At the Walshes’, Jim and Cindy discuss their upcoming trip out of town while Brenda practices her southern accent. Cindy wishes she wouldn’t get her hopes up too much for the lead in case it doesn’t work out.
In his dorm (formerly Andrea’s dorm), Steve hears someone shouting for help in a southern accent. It’s Laura, and she’s just getting ready for her audition for the play. They have an awkward conversation in which he says he’s sorry for what she went through and she says she hasn’t had a great year. Steve sees that the play is Cat in a Hot Tin Roof and shares that his mother once appeared in it. Laura reminds him that he offered to stay friends, and he takes the bait and offers to help her with her audition.
The next day, David complains to Brandon that Rocky II is poorly trained but David keeps getting blamed for his destructive behavior. (David, this is what your role on the show has come to. Get help.) Brenda literally runs into Roy, who wants a Maggie who’s “fetching, love-starved, and dangerous.” Then he totally hits on her and she totally enjoys it. Suzanne visits Dylan at home for no apparent reason, and they discuss Erica’s hostility toward Kevin. Suzanne’s afraid Erica will scare him off. Dylan offers to have a talk with her.
Brandon learns that Steve has plans to hang out with Laura and warns him to be careful. Meanwhile, Brenda and Kelly run lines, and Brenda’s so impressed with Kelly’s reading that she encourages her to audition for a small role. Dylan doesn’t care either way; he’s just glad the girls are getting along. Chancellor Arnold summons Brandon to his office to share some report, but it’s just an excuse for Clare to interrupt and be annoying again. She also overhears him say that he has his house to himself for a few days.
Steve works with Laura, who gets so into their rehearsal that she almost kisses him. Donna and David take Rocky II to Andrea and Jesse’s place, then bicker in front of them about the dog. Andrea tries on one of Jackie’s maternity dresses, but it’s too small. For some reason, this calls for sad, dramatic music. Steve wishes Brenda luck outside the auditions, but Laura isn’t so friendly. Roy promises no politics in the process. Kelly arrives late and catches Roy’s eye, which might be bad, since Brenda says he has a thing for hooking up with actresses.
In a totally unexpected development, Clare stops by Brandon’s house, inviting herself to spend the night while her father’s out of town. Brandon has actual work to do and no time to entertain her craziness. He wants to take her to the friend’s house where she’s supposed to be, but she says they’re not there. Brandon tells her they’re not going to do anything because of her father. He’ll let her stay until that night, when her friend will supposedly be back. Clare puts on music and does what she seems to think is a sexy dance.
Erica is apparently interested in Lincoln’s assassination, so she’s clearly a well-adjusted kid. Dylan finds her at the Peach Pit and encourages her to give Kevin a chance. She admits that he hasn’t done anything mean to her, but she doesn’t like him because he reminds her of John Wilkes Booth’s getaway driver. She’s also worried that if Kevin and Suzanne get married, they’ll move to Orange County. Dylan promises that they’ll always keep in touch.
Brenda reads for Maggie, and she’s pretty over-the-top, but Roy thinks she brings good fire to the role. Laura’s worried. Roy’s stage manager, Eddie, is also worried since Roy obviously wants to get in Brenda’s pants. Steve and Brandon talk on the phone and realize that Clare’s listening in. Brandon says she “has the body of a centerfold and the personality of a volcano.” She also has the wardrobe of a stripper/hip-hop video star. She tells Brandon she can’t stay with her friend after all, and she has nowhere else to go.
Brenda comes home and Brandon tries to pretend there isn’t a girl in a teddy upstairs. Brenda had to leave before Kelly’s audition so she could feed the neighbor’s cats. Brandon rushes her out, then goes back upstairs to find Clare on his bed. She’s handcuffed herself to a lamp and hidden the key somewhere on her body. Brandon turns out the light and leaves her there for the night. Kelly decides not to audition after all and leaves, but Roy follows her, telling her he’s waited all day for her reading. He’d like to work with someone inexperienced and scared. (Uh….)
The next day, David and Donna fight again over how slowly she’s training Rocky II. Brenda calls Kelly, who only says that her audition was “interesting.” She’s not even interested in going to campus to check the callback list. It turns out Kelly auditioned for the lead but doesn’t want Brenda to know. Brandon spent the night on the living room couch, and in the morning Clare heads off to school. (High school, remember.) He reiterates that nothing is going to happen between them. She kisses him anyway, because she’s insane.
Andrea and Jesse go to a doctor’s appointment and have an ultrasound even though their insurance won’t cover many more. Andrea thinks something’s really wrong, though. (Hey, at least that would make their plotline more interesting.) At the Peach Pit, Suzanne and Kevin thank Dylan for talking some sense into Erica. He suggests that they encourage her to read Baby-Sitters Club books instead of ones about Lincoln. Kevin gets Dylan on his side even more by inviting him to go surfing. Outside, Kevin starts to cross the street without looking, and Dylan saves him from getting hit by a bus.
Laura checks the callback sheet before Brenda and shares the news that both of them made the cut for Maggie. Oh, and so did Kelly. Brenda’s shocked. Laura adds that one of the stage techs said Kelly was a natural and is the frontrunner. And she apparently went out for coffee with Roy after the audition. Ruh-roh!
Thoughts: Kevin looks like Geraldo Rivera. Maybe that’s Erica’s problem.
Speaking of Erica, I love that kid. I would love her even more if someone would get her some defrizzing shampoo.
Strangely, Steve has the best southern accent of everyone in this episode.
Brandon, please tell Chancellor Arnold that his daughter needs psychological help and possibly strong medication.