January 2, 2013
BH90210 5.1, What I Did on My Summer Vacation and Other Stories: New Girl
Summary: Cindy’s straightening up Brenda’s room before she and Jim go to the airport. She calls Brandon, who spent the night at Kelly’s with his ugly beard and doesn’t want to talk to his mother. Apparently only the Walshes and Andrea know about this new relationship. Brandon offers to break up with Kelly so they don’t have to tell anyone else. After some more making out, Brandon meets his parents at the airport, where they run into David, his earrings, and his gross hair. Brandon tells him that Brenda’s staying in London for the school year, but someone will be using her room.
Before we can find out who it is, we pay a visit to Dylan, who’s on a Mexican beach, looking homeless. He’s also drinking a beer, so we know things are bad. On the plus side, his Spanish is very good. Back in Beverly Hills, Kelly and Donna run into each other at a salon, but it’s clear they’re not on speaking terms. From a flashback, we learn that they had a big fight over David’s fling with Ariel. Their hairdressers magically get them to make up simply by putting them in chairs next to each other. P.S. Donna is totally over David.
Kelly gives a little exposition on the new girl, Valerie, whose flight is delayed. Brandon and Jim don’t care since airport TVs show football. More exposition: Brandon hasn’t seen Valerie since they were 14, and she lives in Buffalo. Cindy asks him to keep quiet about “what she’s been through over the past few months.” Brandon decides to meet Steve when his plane comes in from Hawaii. Steve has befriended Howie Long, and some kid (also named Steve) thinks Steve is Troy Aikman. Howie used to fantasize about Samantha as a kid (how old is she, anyway?). Steve went to Hawaii with Celeste, but she dumped him for another guy. He’s fine with it, though, because he wants Kelly back.
Andrea’s daughter is about to go home from the hospital after being there for three months. She was supposed to go home a month earlier, and Andrea’s family and friends had planned a big celebration. Andrea thought something was wrong and refused to leave, which turned out to be a good thing because Hannah stopped breathing. She’s fine now, and Andrea has learned to follow her instincts.
At the beach apartment, David shows Kelly the video he made for a TV production class. It serves as a recap for us of his summer activities, which included almost going to Japan with Babyface, getting dumped by Ariel, and winding up with crabs. But now he has a car and his own dorm room. Nat plays David’s professor and gives him an A+ so David can get off of academic probation. “It is smart to be smart!” David says. He actually got an A-, but he also got an invitation to work at the campus TV station.
Kelly bugs David to go to the barbecue the Walshes are throwing for Valerie, but he doesn’t want to run into Donna. Brandon calls and confirms that Kelly hasn’t told anyone about their relationship. He warns her that Steve is convinced that she’s his true love. Kelly isn’t worried; he always does this and she knows how to handle him. The only person she’s worried about is Dylan. Speaking of Señor Mopey, he owes a lot of money to a guy named Juarez, and Juarez says it’s time to pay up. But Dylan doesn’t have the money – Suzanne and Kevin took it all. Juarez asks for his watch as collateral.
Steve brings Kelly a lei (insert your own lei/lay joke here) and tries to get close to her, but Brandon interrupts. The two guys posture over which one of them gets to take Kelly to the barbecue. Finally Steve figures out what’s going on. Kelly offers to make it up to him by introducing him to all the new Alpha pledges. Brandon thinks he should meet Valerie, but Steve notes that she’s from Buffalo, and the Bills lost three Super Bowls in a row.
At the Walshes’ house, everyone meets Valerie Malone, who just transferred to CU from Bayside High. She’s all sweet and bubbly, and Steve is definitely interested. She plays basketball with the guys as Cindy tells Donna that the Malones were the Walshes’ best friends in Minnesota. She wonders where David is, and Kelly announces that he’s not coming. She accidentally lets slip to Donna that she went to Minnesota with the Walshes, and Donna figures out that she and Brandon are dating.
Kelly continues with a flashback to a dinner at the Walshes’ which was interrupted by a call from Valerie’s mother, Abby. Valerie’s father Victor committed suicide the night before. Donna promises to keep quiet. After dessert, Steve wants to show Valerie around town, and the kids decide to go to the club where Jesse tends bar. Steve dances with Valerie, who seems to have taken an interest in Brandon (or maybe Kelly?). Elsewhere, Dylan drinks and listens to his messages and learns that Brenda’s staying in London, despite having told him she wouldn’t be there forever. Also, Iris is mad that he lost all his money.
Andrea calls Jesse at work, and he passes the phone off to Donna. By the way, Andrea’s breastfeeding during this scene, which, thanks, show. Donna spots David with another girl, freaks out, and splits. Later, Brandon takes Kelly home to the beachfront apartment, but she can’t convince him to spend the night. He wants to be home for Valerie’s first night in the Walshes’ house, for some reason. “I wish you weren’t so sexy,” Kelly says. I barf forever. Steve and Valerie wait for Brandon in the car, flirting (badly) and almost kissing.
At home, Cindy’s reading Anna Karenina as an excuse to wait up for Brandon and Valerie. She’s grateful to Jim for agreeing to let Valerie live with them. When the kids get home, everyone’s all shiny happy family. On the phone with Kelly, Donna (who’s at her parents’ house) asks if David still has feelings for her. Kelly’s distracted and thinks someone’s watching her. That’s because Dylan’s staring at her creepily from some tall structure.
Brandon and Valerie run into each other in their shared bathroom and talk a little about Brenda. Then Valerie heads to her new room and immediately drops her bubbly, happy act. She calls her friend Ginger and complains about Beverly Hills. She thinks Steve is dumb but she could get some use out of his credit cards. She also plans to keep up her happy act for Cindy and Jim. Oh, and she likes pot.
Thoughts: There’s an episode of Saved by the Bell: The College Years where Brian Austin Green does a cameo as himself, and Kelly gushes about how cute he is. Ironic, no?
I don’t get Kelly and Brandon together. I just…don’t.
Wow, Howie Long is tall. And his presence in this episode was so pointless.
Why does Jesse tend bar in a tux?
Donna should have stuck around to see David dance. Then she really would have gotten over him.