January 13, 2013

BH90210 5.3, A Clean Slate: Race You to the Bottom

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 5:19 pm by Jenn

Getting hit by a cement truck is rarely a good thing

Getting hit by a cement truck is rarely a good thing

Summary: In the Walshes’ garage, Valerie finds a box of Brenda’s things, including a picture of Dylan. She asks Cindy and Jim if they’ve heard of Jack McKay, claiming a business ethics professor mentioned him in class. The Walshes give her a brief recap of Jack’s life, adding that they knew him because he was Dylan’s father. Now Valerie’s intrigued.

On campus, David tapes a report for the school TV station about the upcoming special elections for president and vice president. Apparently each race represented on campus is backing a different candidate, so no one will end up with a mandate. David sneezes and ruins the segment. Brandon and his ugly tie try to campaign, but Kelly’s the only person who wants to talk to him.

Josh tells him the Condor won’t back them even though Josh is the editor; they’re backing the Latino students. Alex Diaz, who’s running the Latino students’ campaign, offers Josh the chance to back out and serve on the Latinos’ cabinet instead. He adds that Brandon is “the chancellor’s lackey,” which ticks Brandon off. (Apparently he didn’t think there would be any mudslinging in this political election.)

Donna welcomes Kelly home to the beach apartment with the news that she’s found them a new roommate. Oh, and this roommate knows Brandon through the taskforce. Yep, it’s Clare. Kelly objects to the proposed living arrangements. Clare insists that she’s over Brandon – he was lousy in bed. Kelly notes that Clare never slept with him. Clare amends her statement to say that him not sleeping with her was the lousy part. Kelly decides to give the new roommate a shot.

Brandon and Josh go to the Peach Pit, discussing Josh’s poor driving skills. (Foreshadowing!) Steve is their campaign manager and has put up a poster in the diner. Josh suggests that Brandon get D’Shawn to endorse them. Brandon tries but D’Shawn wants to stay neutral. Andrea wants to go to the school candidates’ debate, but Jesse wants her to stay home for some family time. Andrea complains that Brandon never asks her opinion anymore.

Valerie wants to skip the candidates’ debate, even though Brandon notes that Steve will miss seeing her. She admits that Jim got a little upset when she mentioned Dylan the night before. Brandon tells her more about Jim and Dylan’s dealings with each other, and how Dylan just hangs out and plays pool now. Valerie remarks that her father played pool a lot.

Andrea goes to the debate alone and offers to help Brandon with the speech he’ll now have to give in Josh’s absence (his car broke down). The debate is supposed to be peaceful but doesn’t go so well. Brandon gets the audience to laugh by saying things that aren’t even funny, because he’s just that good. He bashes the other candidates for not discussing the issues, then talks about unity and working together and blah blah blah, everyone loves him.

Valerie tracks Dylan down at a pool hall and they turn the flirting up to 11. “I want…a man…to ache… for me,” she says with that exact awkward intonation. Over at the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna can’t sleep because Clare snores. Womp womp.

Josh goes by the Walshes’ the next morning and tells Jim that the debate got them a lot of votes. Brandon disagrees, but Josh accuses him of false modesty, saying Brandon wants to win as badly as Josh does. Jim says they deserve each other. Valerie continues to charm Cindy, who has no idea where she spent the previous night (or, more accurately, who she was with).

Kelly and Donna mention Clare’s snoring to her; Kelly even recorded it so Clare can hear it for herself. Clare offers to move out, but Donna says they’ll find a cure. Clare’s tried everything and claims she only snores when she’s with a guy. Maybe Brandon can help her out? Kelly isn’t amused.

Nat asks Dylan for money for a new air conditioner at the diner, though I don’t know where Dylan’s getting his money from now. He runs into Steve, who tries to tell him about the debate; Dylan cares about as much as I do. Steve can tell that something’s wrong with Dylan but thinks he’s just upset about Kelly being with Brandon. Dylan says he’s already hooked up with someone. Steve has, too, and tells Dylan a) it’s Valerie and b) she lives with the Walshes. Dylan’s surprised.

Things are looking up for Josh and Brandon, though some people think Brandon should be president instead of Josh. Andrea won’t sit with them, Kelly, and Donna, since she’s mad that Brandon isn’t paying any attention to her. Kelly tells her to stop being neurotic (HA! Yeah, right) and talk to Brandon.

Alex approaches and produces a copy of the article Josh started writing the previous year about Brandon taking a test for D’Shawn. Josh insists that the article was never published in the Condor because it turned out not to be true. Alex accuses him of pulling the article and instead making a deal with Brandon, which would get Josh in good with the chancellor. He threatens to present the article at that night’s student senate meeting if Josh doesn’t drop out of the election.

Josh refuses, so Alex predicts that he’ll be disqualified from the election and Brandon will be kicked out of CU. (Not without evidence, moron.) The guys have four hours to make up their minds before the senate convenes. Andrea thinks the article doesn’t present enough evidence, but Brandon’s mad that it exists at all. Josh is willing to give in to Alex’s demands; even if he and Brandon won, someone would demand a second vote.

Andrea suggests that they put out a flier refuting everything in the article and using it as an example of bad politics. Josh is on board but Brandon now wants to drop out of the race. He thinks it’s possible a professor could have changed a grade for D’Shawn, and he doesn’t want to get D’Shawn in trouble. Josh suggests that they talk to D’Shawn before they make any decisions. Brandon doesn’t want to have that conversation with D’Shawn, so Donna offers to do the talking.

Valerie returns to the pool hall (Dylan isn’t there) and smokes, because she is a Bad Girl. Meanwhile, the senate convenes but no one’s heard from Donna or D’Shawn. While Kelly goes looking for them, Andrea tells Brandon to stop playing martyr and accept that he needs to be a leader. This is the same as his “Donna Martin graduates” campaign, so he should just do his thing.

Alex addresses the student senate, calling Brandon part of a scheme to bring about “academic apartheid.” (Dude. Calm down.) He rants about how D’Shawn won’t get a real education if professors and students keep babying him, and points out that scholarship athletes are always minorities while their tutors are always white. D’Shawn arrives and shuts him down, defending Brandon. He adds that he’s maintained his academic eligibility on his own since his tutoring. Also, anyone who thinks he isn’t smart enough to go to CU is racist. Whee!

Dylan finally shows up at the pool hall and engages in some horrible innuendo with Valerie. He asks her who she is, but she won’t tell him. Steve does some more campaigning and tells Brandon that he and Kelly have been authorized to count votes after the election. (That seems…not right.) Alex has been fired from the Latinos’ campaign, which is now in shambles. Brandon spots Clare with Donna, and Kelly casually tells him that she’s living at the beach apartment. Steve wonders where Valerie is.

I know where she is! She’s at Dylan’s. Specifically, she’s in Dylan’s bed. P.S. They aren’t wearing clothes. There’s more innuendo. At the beach apartment, Donna introduces Clare to her new snoring cure: a blow-up doll. Kelly wants to borrow him, so I guess Brandon really is lousy in bed. Valerie has to leave Dylan’s to make curfew, so he drives her home, pretending he doesn’t know exactly where they’re going. When they arrive, he accuses her of knowing who he was the first time they met. Meanwhile, everyone sleeps well at the beach apartment.

The next morning, it’s election time! David finally knows what he’s doing for the TV station. By the way, David needs a plot. Brandon, Josh, and their supporters gather at the Peach Pit that evening while they wait for the election results. Brandon is meant to Jim and Cindy and makes them leave. Andrea and Jesse bring Hannah, who looks half the size she was earlier in the episode.

Josh is nervous and decides to go for a drive to kill time before the results come in. Brandon wonders what they’ll do if they actually win the election. Josh tells him they’ll make it up as they go along. As Brandon heads back to the diner, Josh pulls out of the parking lot over his shoulder, turns left, and immediately gets hit by a truck. As Josh’s body is taken away, Kelly and Steve arrive and tell Brandon that he and Josh won.

Thoughts: Poor Mark Damon Espinoza – they added him to the main casat and he still doesn’t get to do anything.

Kelly drinks Shasta. Remember Shasta? Apparently they still make it, but I couldn’t tell you where in the world you could buy it.

Dylan in a plain white T-shirt is proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy.

Andra appears to be reading The Stand. First of all, when does she have time to read? Second of all, I can’t see her liking Stephen King.

When Kelly said Donna and D’Shawn were MIA, I hoped they were making out in a closet somewhere.

I enjoy the irony of this show talking about racism when everyone in the cast is white.

Valerie’s hair looks better post-romp in the sack than mine has in my entire life. I hate her.

The accident scene was well done. You can see Josh drive off over Brandon’s shoulder; then he bends over to pick up a campaign flier and there’s honking and a big crash. The set-up of the scene doesn’t telegraph that something big is going to happen.

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1 Comment »

  1. LadyJ3000 said,

    You can still find Shasta in California, we sell it at the store I work at. I love your blog, it’s one of my favorites.


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