January 29, 2013

Party of Five 1.5, All’s Fair: The Salingers Suck at Every Kind of Relationship

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 9:23 pm by Jenn

A first date that involves potential seasickness isn't the best idea

A first date that involves potential seasickness isn’t the best idea

Summary: Kirsten and Charlie’s relationship has progressed to the stage where he’s about to meet her mother. He has friends in town, including his ex-girlfriend, Rebecca, and Bailey teases him about her moving on. Kirsten is a little worried about the two of them going to dinner together. Bailey and Kate camp out for tickets to something, and he somehow doesn’t creep her out by constantly staring at her. Bailey soon becomes a fifth wheel when Kate’s boyfriend Tom joins them.

The next day, Bailey shares with Will some of his ideas for getting Kate away from Tom. Will himself was in a similar situation; he waited it out and eventually the other guy moved away. But then the girl got mono, and by the time she was well enough to see anyone, Will had moved on to another girl. Thanks, Will!

Charlie has dinner with Rebecca and her husband Mike, who got together because of Charlie. Back at the house, Nina encourages Julia to get a job waiting tables at a club called Stage 18. Claudia practices her violin in the bathroom, so Julia tells her to act her age for once. Claudia immediately acts like an 11-year-old by telling Julia to act her age. At the restaurant, Rebecca confides in Charlie that she and Mike are having problems.

Kate and Bailey hang out, but she keeps talking about Tom. He shuts her up by kissing her, then leaving. Kirsten quizzes Charlie on how many dates he and Rebecca went on in high school. He tries to assure her that Rebecca isn’t a threat. Kate shows up at the house and tells Bailey not to come to the concert. Bailey thinks Tom should stay home since Bailey was the one who suggested the concert in the first place. He’s also offended that Tom doesn’t see him as competition.

Claudia tries to get Julia to sign her application for a violin competition, and Julia notes that Claudia wrote her age as 9 instead of 11. She asks if Claudia thinks the judges will go easier on her if they think she’s younger. Claudia decides to talk to Bailey instead, but Julia threatens to tell him she’s trying to cheat. She needs to play the violin because she loves it, not because she wants to win competitions.

Charlie hangs out with Rebecca again, this time alone, though Kirsten thinks he’s with her and Mike. Rebecca says that she always feels like Mike’s waiting for someone better to come along. She doesn’t want to just mark time with him and later regret not pursuing other options. Nina takes Julia to Stage 18 and lies to a bartender that they’re 21. Julia is horrible at keeping up the story.

After the concert, which Bailey went to with Tom, Bailey goes to Kate’s house and throws rocks at her window to get her attention, which I’m sure he thinks is cute and not at all stalkerish. He tells her he no longer cares about doing the right thing. He asks her to marry him, then backtracks and asks for a date. Instead of calling the police or screaming until her parents come chase Bailey away, she says yes.

Charlie takes Rebecca to her parents’ house, and they start making out in the truck. Then their clothes come off. Well, that can’t be comfortable. The next morning, Kirsten has no idea what her boyfriend was doing the night before. Claudia tells Ross that Julia won’t sign her application because the fee is too expensive. Ross offers to pay it and signs the application himself. As Claudia plays in the competition, Nina and Julia make Julia a fake ID using a typewriter (no, really).

Rebecca visits Charlie at the restaurant and tells him she had a dream the night before about pots boiling over on a stove. She’s thinking about telling Mike what happened. Charlie doesn’t seem surprised. Bailey and Kate’s first date will involve a trip to Alcatraz, for some reason. He continues to exhibit behavior that any normal girl should find a little creepy. Rebecca calls the house but Charlie tells Julia to say he’s not there. Julia guesses what happened and calls it “business as usual.”

Ross brings Claudia home and tells Julia how well she did at the competition. Of course, Julia didn’t know she was going. She blasts him for letting Claudia enter the competition and for not noticing how obsessed she was with it. Claudia says that she shouldn’t have to listen to Julia since Julia doesn’t listen to anyone. She also doesn’t think Julia cares about her. Julia notes that she wouldn’t have interfered if she didn’t care. Claudia slams her for never coming to hear her play, then pulls out the old classic: “You’re not my mother.”

Bailey takes Kate a present and finds Tom at her house. Bailey’s confused since he was under the impression that they broke up. The guys start to fight, but Kate tells Bailey to leave. Rebecca goes to the restaurant again and confronts Charlie for avoiding her. He tells her he thinks leaving Mike would be a mistake. Rebecca scoffs because Charlie thinks she’s leaving Mike for him. She just wanted Charlie to comfort her, but now he’s worried about obligation and how he fits into things.

Kate returns Bailey’s present (which Tom broke), asking if she led him on. (Don’t worry, Kate, he would have acted that way no matter what.) She likes both guys and doesn’t want to hurt either of them. Bailey would tell her to choose between them if he were a different guy, so he’s going to walk away and let her stay with Tom. Except then he does tell her to choose between them.

Claudia doesn’t win anything in the competition, but at least Julia’s there. She realizes that Claudia wanted to enter the contest so badly because their mother placed second in it. At home, Bailey tells Will he’s a moron for making Kate choose. Will can’t disagree. Bailey wants to go for a run, but Will points out that he only started running because Kate’s a runner. Bailey says he wanted Kate to choose, but he would have settled for less. Huh?

Julia returns to Stage 18 with her fake birth certificate and ID. Despite having no experience or references, she’s hired. Charlie sits in his truck outside Rebecca’s house, because creepiness is in the Salinger DNA. She comes out to tell him that she needed him to care about her, which he says he thought he was doing. She says he just runs away from whatever scares him. She feels like he had his fingers crossed while they were having sex. In high school, he stopped wanting whatever he wanted as soon as he got it. But she thinks Kirsten means something to Charlie.

Julia tells Claudia she got a job at “a burger place.” Claudia questions her work uniform. She shows her their mother’s prize for placing second in the competition. Claudia wanted to win to make her proud. Julia assures her that their mom is proud of Claudia just for playing the violin. Claudia says Julia looks like their mother, “without all the makeup.” Charlie brings Kirsten flowers and says nothing about having sex with another woman. Kate shows up at the Salingers’ house, so I guess she made her decision.

Thoughts: The bartender who hires Julia is played by Doug Hutchison. Yes, the same Doug Hutchison who married a 16-year-old who can’t keep her clothes on. Also, he was on Lost.

Speaking of which, Bailey suggests having someone kidnap Kate and take her to an island. If he’d said arrest instead of kidnap, that would have been very scary Lost foreshadowing.

Okay, young, impressionable women out there: If a guy ever a) sits outside your house in his car, b) comes to your window at night, and/or c) asks you to choose between him and someone else, RUN AWAY.

Claudia should’ve asked Charlie to sign the application. We know he has no problem with lying.

According to the Dream Moods Dictionary, dreaming about pots “suggests that you are filled with enthusiasm, excitement or ideas. Alternatively, a boiling pot indicates that you have more than you can handle. You are feeling overwhelmed with emotions.” So there you go.

I’m sorry, Rebecca, you cheat on your husband with Charlie and he’s the stupid one?

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