February 2, 2013

BH90210 5.6, Homecoming: Unbearable

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 5:14 pm by Jenn

They traded Shannen Doherty to get this bear

They traded Shannen Doherty to get this bear

Summary: Kelly, Donna, Steve, and Griffin are at Southern California University on a “fact-finding mission.” It involves the college’s giant stuffed bear mascot. Brandon goes to Chancellor Arnold’s house as a motorcade escorts over a man named Ferdinand Quintero. Quintero is the president of Selanesia and an old friend of the Arnolds’. Clare introduces him to Brandon, and the chancellor says Brandon is Clare’s boyfriend. Clare gives Brandon the unpublicized news that Quintero’s in town to be treated for liver cancer.

The bearnappers regroup at the Peach Pit to figure out how to get past the bear’s guards. They ask Valerie for help and she suggests a distraction. The others are willing to try it even if it’s cruel. Andrea has confronted Jesse for flirting on the job; he doesn’t think it’s a big deal but she does. She’s also upset that all they do when they have time together is study. She’s worried about their relationship, but Jesse says they’re fine.

Kaye and Ben, two students from CU’s chapter of Human Rights International, visit Brandon to tell him about the torture in Selanesia that they say Quintero authorized. They plan to make his time at CU very unpleasant. They want Brandon on board with them, but he thinks Quintero is a normal guy. Kaye and Ben call him ignorant and repeat what Alex Diaz said about him being Chancellor Arnold’s lackey.

Ray surprises Donna at the TV station to tell her his construction job on campus is over, so he’s leaving. She’s sad to see him go, but she’s reluctant to give him her phone number since she already has a boyfriend. He gets her to admit that her relationship with Griffin isn’t that serious. Brandon asks Clare about the allegations of torture in Selanesia, which Clare calls ridiculous. She’s been there, saw her father help install democracy there, and doesn’t think the chancellor would be friends with a torturer.

Dylan, Valerie, and her sleeveless flannel shirt are still hooking up, though he wants it to be clear that he doesn’t want a real relationship. She wonders if he’s still hung up on Brenda and/or Kelly. He tells her not to fall in love with him. She already knows more about him than she should. Valerie doesn’t get why it’s a big deal that she knows that Dylan has no money. She promises to continue keeping it quiet.

Chancellor Arnold holds a cocktail party for Quintero that gets interrupted by a demonstration held by a bunch of CU students. They’re all chanting, “Quintero kills!” which is no “Donna Martin graduates.” Later, Kaye and Ben bug Brandon and Clare at the campus coffee shop, giving them a report on Selanesia. Clare continues defending Quintero as a good leader. Brandon agrees to read the report but wants some real proof.

Donna makes a date with Ray, to Kelly’s surprise. She’s also scheduled it right before bear-stealing time. Kelly’s worried that Donna’s going out with a guy she barely knows. Brandon chats with Andrea about Human Rights International, which Andrea believes in. She doesn’t think the group would lie since their only mission is to protect human life. Brandon goes to the Arnolds’ and commiserates with Quintero on the tough parts of being a president. Oh, and Quintero’s a good cook, so I guess he’s not a torturer.

Ray and Donna listen to some of his music as he drives them to their mystery date. She’s stunned to see a large knife in the glove compartment. Now she wishes she’d listened to Kelly. But it’s okay – Ray takes her to his family’s pumpkin farm since he promised his aunt he would help out. The knife is for carving (pumpkins, not people). Kaye introduces Brandon to a CU gardener who happens to be from Selanesia. He was tortured and forced to sign a statement against his brother, which led to his brother’s murder. He has scars to prove his story.

Donna and Ray carve pumpkins and go to the farm’s petting zoo as the other bearnappers, now including Muntz, put the finishing touches on their plan. Their “distraction” will involve brownies containing laxatives. Brandon tells Jim and Cindy that Human Rights International wants to serve Quintero with a civil suit that will keep him in the U.S. His security won’t let anyone near him, so Brandon has agreed to serve him. His parents tell him he doesn’t have to do this, but Brandon doesn’t want to be seen as a lackey anymore. He points out that students have made history in the past, like in Tiananmen Square and at the Berlin Wall.

Andrea does laundry at a Laundromat and meets a doctor named Peter. He thinks she’s babysitting Hannah, and she doesn’t correct that Hannah’s her daughter. Steve and Griffin, wearing black shirts and earpieces, wait outside SCU’s lobby while Kelly and Valerie, posing as SCU sorority girls, offer brownies to the guys guarding the bear. (Muntz is randomly there, dusting something.) In case we didn’t already know, Valerie proves to be a really good liar.

Donna’s still at the petting zoo, about to make a baby goat her third boyfriend. She tells Ray she’s not sorry she missed the bearnapping. Then they kiss, and I bet the goat’s jealous. David makes his first appearance of the episode at the beach apartment, asking when she gets to meet Clare’s father. Brandon comes over to talk to her about the suit against Quintero and serving the papers. Clare reminds him that Quintero has cancer and has never done anything to Brandon. She’ll never speak to Brandon again if he goes through with this.

Andrea comes home from the Laundromat to find Jesse waiting with a candlelight dinner. He’s skipping work to hang out with his wife (or shut her up; it could go either way). Andrea decides to throw away Peter’s phone number. The bear guards run to the bathroom, asking Kelly and Valerie to keep an eye on the bear. Muntz locks them in, and the bearnappers grab the bear (conveniently mounted on a wheeled dolly) and run.

Brandon goes to the Arnolds’, where the chancellor confronts him for getting involved with Human Rights International. He insists that Quintero installed democracy in Selanesia to make his people’s lives better. Quintero knows Brandon’s there to serve him and accepts the papers. He acknowledges that Brandon did what he had to do, just like Quintero did. “You’ll see, there’s always a price,” Quintero warns.

Ray takes Donna home, telling her she gets to make the next move. At the Walshes’, Valerie tells Cindy she’s going out to meet Steve, but of course, she’s really meeting Dylan. However, when she arrives, he tells her their plans for the night are cancelled – he already has someone else there to have sex with. Valerie’s mad that Dylan keeps reminding her they don’t have a real relationship.

On the news the next morning, the Walshes hear that Quintero has announced he’s resigning as president for health reasons. Also, the SCU bear has disappeared the same day as SCU’s big football game against CU. The CU students are happy with their new transfer students. Griffin tells Donna he missed her the night before, and she lies that she missed him, too. Valerie and Kelly agree that they had fun bearnapping together, and Kelly says Val can be an honorary Alpha.

Clare decides to keep talking to Brandon, despite her threat, since Quintero is still talking to Chancellor Arnold. (Um, okay, Clare.) As everyone heads to the football game, the gardener thanks Brandon for being brave, like his brother was.

Thoughts: You’d think Brandon would know the name of every head of state who’s committed a human rights violation.

For someone who supposedly hates the gang, Valerie sure doesn’t seem to mind hanging out with them.

Clare, your threat never to speak to Brandon again isn’t exactly negative. He would probably welcome it.

Also, telling Clare about the suit was dangerous – what if she’d told Quintero and he’d left the country?

Blah, blah, Brandon’s a hero and always does the right thing, blah. I didn’t learn anything from this episode!

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