February 10, 2013

BH90210 5.8, Things That Go Bang in the Night: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 3:07 pm by Jenn

And this is why Dylan shouldn't have weapons

And this is why Dylan shouldn’t have weapons

Summary: Valerie’s packing up her things to go back to Buffalo, since she thinks everyone hates her for the events of the previous episode. Brandon tries to get her to stay, for some reason. Cindy talks to Valerie’s mother, Abby, on the phone, then tells Valerie that Abby’s going to a clinic for a few days. Valerie’s upset that her mother’s having a breakdown now (yeah, how dare she not time that better?), and that it means she’ll have to stay in Beverly Hills.

The KEG guys and Alpha girls are getting ready for a big Halloween party at the KEG house. Steve tries help, despite having injured his hand when he hit Dylan. Griffin tries to make sure things between him and Donna are okay after the Catalina misunderstanding. Kelly tells everyone that Valerie’s staying in town, and only Donna defends her, since she, too, is dating two guys at once. Speaking of which, Ray shows up unexpectedly to deliver some pumpkins. Griffin and Ray hit it off, but Donna won’t acknowledge that she and Ray are more than friends.

Valerie’s still working on getting out of Beverly Hills, thinking that Cindy and Jim don’t want her to stay. They assure her that they’ll work out their problems. Also, they totally blame Dylan for everything that happened. Cindy tells Valerie she has a clean slate. Andrea and Jesse bring Hannah by so she can get Brenda’s old bunny costume for Halloween. Jesse mentions that he wants the baby to celebrate the Day of the Dead with his family the next day. He thinks Andrea should be willing to sit in a cemetery all night since he sat through Yom Kippur. Andrea’s worried what her dead grandfather would think, since the celebration is part Catholic.

At the Peach Pit, Dylan and Nat discuss the After Dark; Dylan wants to keep it going, just not with Steve. Nat notes that the whole thing was Steve’s idea, and he managed everything. Dylan reminds him that he took out a mortgage on his house to pay for everything, so if it fails, he’s the one who’s screwed. Nat tells him to come back at 4 the next afternoon to actually participate in the club. David and Clare attend a lecture on UFOs, which inspires her to suggest a trip to the desert. (She totally wants to have sex with an alien.)

Brandon visits Steve at the KEG house, but Steve’s mad that Brandon’s still friends with Valerie. Brandon tries to garner some sympathy for her, sharing the news that Valerie’s mom is having mental-health problems. If Steve gives her another chance, everyone else will follow suit. Steve is barely swayed by Brandon’s argument of “come on, bro” and tells him to invite her to the KEG party. However, he’ll never forgive Dylan. Speaking of Dylan, he’s drunk. He looks through some papers at home and finds his gun.

Clare and a skeptical David tell Kelly about their road trip to Barstow. Donna joins them and the other girls tease her about having to juggle two guys. Speaking of them, they’re already at the party at the KEG house, wondering where Donna is. When Valerie arrives, Steve and Kelly make themselves be nice to her, though at least Kelly gets the reward of making out with Brandon (if you want to call that a reward). Donna hides out from Ray and Griffin. Ray entertains the kids with that song about the worms.

Steve makes nice with Valerie, inviting her to the frat’s Halloween party (to which I’m guessing the little kids aren’t invited). Griffin teasingly tells Donna that he thinks Ray likes her. Ray gets mad when he sees the two of them together, and isn’t any happier when Donna can’t go out with him that night because she’s going to the frat party. Meanwhile, Dylan plays pool and chats with a guy who turns out to be a drug dealer.

David and Clare go out to Barstow and eat at a diner run by a guy who claims they get aliens in there all the time. Oh, and he’s an alien too. They can buy a video of his spaceship or a map of the galaxy. Clare’s upset that people make money off of something she takes seriously. Trick-or-treaters hassle Dylan at his house as Valerie arrives for a romp before the frat party. There’s no candy, so Valerie gives the kids money. She’s worried when she sees Dylan’s gun and bullets, telling him her father shot himself. He kicks her out.

Clare and David have been in Barstow for ten minutes and she already thinks the trip is a bust. She complains that 90% of people think we’re not alone in the universe, but those people think she’s crazy for believing in UFOs. Andrea, Jesse, and Hannah meet up with Jesse’s family in the cemetery, and Andrea gets uncomfortable when someone gives Hannah a crucifix. In Barstow, David and Clare see weird green lights and think they’re about to meet some aliens. The UFO they think they see is really a satellite dish. (Uh, then where did the lights come from? I hate this plot.)

Valerie’s late for the party, and Steve knows she must be with Dylan, so he’s mad. Griffin’s at the KEG party, but Donna can only think about Ray. She tells Kelly that she and Griffin are at the point in their relationship where other people would start having sex. She still hasn’t told him that she wants to wait until she’s married. Kelly urges her to be honest like Valerie wasn’t.

So Donna tells Griffin she went out with Ray a few times, then tells him to go to Hell when he calls Ray “Mr. Pumpkinhead.” He tells her that when she explains to Felice that Griffin wasn’t good enough for her, she should also mention that she’s been sleeping with a delivery boy. As Ray arrives, Griffin calls Donna “a pathological tease who sluts around.” This gets him a well-deserved slap from Donna. He tells her he can’t believe he put up with her as long as he did. Donna goes off with Ray.

Valerie skips the party and goes back to the Walshes’, where Brandon blasts her for ruining the second chance he begged everyone to give her. Valerie feels bad for Dylan since no one else is on his side. Brandon points out that he just has to ask for help if he wants someone on his side. She tells him Dylan’s been taking drugs and is playing around with his gun, just like her father used to. Brandon decides it’s time to pay Dylan a visit.

Ray and Donna drive up to the hills and start kissing. She tells him they can’t sleep together, and he plays her a song. Dylan’s trick-or-treaters return with friends, looking for more money, but Dylan’s passed out. They egg his house and he responds by pointing his gun at them. Then he shoots a paper skeleton Valerie put on his chair. Andrea and Jesse leave the cemetery early, and she tells him she’s fine with Hannah being connected to Catholicism, but she’s Jewish. Jesse is much less concerned about his daughter’s religious identity.

Blah blah David and Clare blah. They have sex. Something we’re supposed to think is a UFO flies over them. Brandon goes to Dylan’s, tells him to get over the Kevin/Suzanne theft, and asks if his relapse is due to anything else. Dylan tells him to stop analyzing him. Brandon notes that he’s the only friend Dylan has left, so he better be careful which bridges he burns. Dylan threatens to call the police if Brandon takes his gun, but Brandon starts to leave with it anyway. Instead, he decides to spend the night.

Thoughts: Random guest star of the episode: Jon Gries (here going by Jonathan) as Dylan’s dealer. He’s probably best known as Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, but to me he’ll always be Broots from The Pretender.

Jason Priestley directed this episode. Pretend you care.

Would you let your kids go to a Halloween party at a frat house?

Also, would you take your not-even-six-month-old baby to an all-night outdoor celebration?

The kid Valerie gives money to asks what he’s supposed to do with $5. I don’t know, maybe BUY CANDY? I weep for our future.

Things Andrea and Jesse should have discussed before Hannah was born: religion.

Kelly refers to her mother by her first name, so I guess she caught that annoying disease Brandon has.

It’s a little distracting to watch Donna and Ray have a serious relationship discussion while she’s dressed like a cat.

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