February 17, 2013
Party of Five 1.9, Something Out of Nothing: I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty
Summary: There’s a dance coming up, and even though Nina thinks it sounds lame, she still wants to go. They’re in the guys’ bathroom, for some reason, and Julia finds a list of girls the guys most want to sleep with. Nina’s number 2 and Julia isn’t on the list. But she’s on the list of girls the guys want to cheat off of. At home, the Salingers clean up in preparation for a visit from Greer, one of their mom’s friends. She sounds wacky.
Charlie interviews a potential nanny but nixes her because she’s a temptress. (Hey, he’s learning!) Ross meets Claudia at the restaurant, where she tries to set him up with a waitress. At the house, Greer tries to cook for everyone; she’s working on a cookbook called Something Out of Nothing. She asks about everyone’s love lives, which are all depressing. Later, Greer digs more into Bailey’s issues, so we have to hear him complain some more about not having sex. He doesn’t want to go to the dance because he doesn’t want to meet someone else to date. Greer offers to fix him up with someone.
She then moves on to helping Julia, who admits that she’s always wanted Greer’s confident. She admits that her grades aren’t great anymore, and she’s spending a lot of time becoming someone different. She doesn’t think she’s special. Greer objects, forcing Julia to appreciate her own beauty. Ross comes by and Claudia tries to encourage him to go on another date with the waitress. He has to spell out for her that he’s gay. She pretends it’s not a big deal.
The next morning, Julia waxes her legs and tells Claudia that Greer thinks she should do a photo shoot and look into becoming a model. Claudia thinks that’s dumb. Greer suggests a possible date for Bailey as Charlie tries to get a “more mature” (e.g., not hot) nanny for Owen. Bailey goes out with the girl, Lucinda, who’s a pretentious theater type and smokes the whole time. (Also, she’s playing Kate in a production of Taming of the Shrew – heh.)
Julia meets with Greer’s photographer friend, who’s surprised that she’s never modeled before. This is the first time she hears that the photo session will cost her $800. Claudia has a lesson with Ross, but there’s a big old elephant in the room called Ross’s sexuality. Greer tells Bailey that he reminds her of a guy she used to know who never realized how awesome he was.
Charlie confronts Julia for writing a check to the photographer, though he’s more upset with Greer for getting her involved in modeling. He notes that Greer isn’t the best with finances; he had to pay for a wreath she sent after their parents’ funeral. Julia and Nina argue that models can make a lot of money. Charlie doesn’t think the photographer really thinks Julia can be successful – “for 800 bucks, I’d tell you you were beautiful, too.” He can’t believe how dumb Julia was.
Bailey accidentally walks in on Greer as she’s coming out of the shower, so that’s not going to help his interest in older women. They’re both awake in the middle of the night, and she tells him she’s going to stay in a hotel for the rest of her time in San Francisco. She’s embarrassed about the “mistake” she made.
Charlie interviews another nanny, pleased that she’s married. Then she tells him she and her husband are considering an open marriage. Julia goes to her photo session, where the photographer makes her laugh and tells her again that she’s beautiful. Bailey tells Will about what happened with Greer; he thinks Greer’s interested in him. Will thinks he should make a move (and also find out if she has a friend for him).
Charlie finds a marked-up phone book at the house – that’s how Greer found the photographer, so he wasn’t a friend of hers. Claudia skips a lesson, so Ross asks if she has a problem with his sexuality. If she does, she should have come to him, since they treat each other like friends. Ross says that his sexuality has nothing to do with Claudia or her music, but if she thinks it does, maybe he shouldn’t teach her anymore.
When Julia gets home from her shoot, Charlie tells her that the photographer wasn’t a friend of Greer’s. That means Julia just gave $800 to a stranger. She’s more upset that Greer went to a hotel without saying goodbye. Bailey tracks Greer down at her hotel, and it is oh so awkward. They kiss but agree not to take things any farther.
Bailey brings Greer back to the house, and Charlie blasts her for lying about the photographer. Julia’s upset that she paid a guy $800 to tell her she’s beautiful. She wishes Greer hadn’t tried to befriend her in the first place. Charlie has also uncovered that there is no cookbook. Greer just wanted everyone to see the good in their lives, since they were all down. Charlie notes that pretending everything is great doesn’t change the situation. He asks her to leave.
Claudia confides in Charlie that Ross coming out to her made her uncomfortable. (Charlie, for the record, has some gay friends, and though he doesn’t always understand it, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal.) Claudia wonders if Ross can stop being gay. He says no, and she says that’s too bad. Charlie says it isn’t if Ross is happy.
Julia asks the photographer for her money back, but he still thinks she could make it as a model. He’s even shown her pictures to a friend who wants her to pose for those photos you get in picture frames. Claudia meets Ross at the restaurant again, this time to apologize for the way she treated him and ask him to be her teacher again. He says he’ll be her friend if she’ll treat him like a friend. Claudia admits to being sad and disappointed – not because Ross is gay, but because she has a crush on him and thought they would get married someday. Then she tries to fix him up with a waiter.
Bailey goes back to Greer’s hotel to ask if she was just being nice when she kissed him the night before. She assures him she wasn’t playing any games, and she did want to be with him. Julia goes to the dance after all, picking out a guy to dance with. Bailey and Will are there, too, and Bailey keeps an eye out for a potential dance partner. At home afterward, Julia and Bailey toast Greer. Charlie tells them he’s found a new nanny, and there’s no way Charlie will screw things up. His name is Bill.
Thoughts: So Greer wants to get it on with her friend’s 16-year-old son? This show is gross.
Why do the Salingers have capers in their fridge? All they eat is pizza.
Greer: “I say we eat al fresco.” Claudia: “Who’s he?” Snort.
I’m just now realizing how much Mitchell Anderson (Ross) looks like Bradley Whitford.
Julia has horrible instincts, because the photographer skeeved me out the whole episode. She should have at least taken Charlie or Bailey with her when she went to get her money back.