March 3, 2013

Party of Five 1.12, Games People Play: He’s Just Not That Into You

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 1:14 pm by Jenn

Why did we all wear so much denim in the '90s? What was wrong with us?

Why did we all wear so much denim in the ’90s? What was wrong with us?

Summary: Kirsten goes by the restaurant to see Charlie and ask him to dinner. Then she kisses him, so I guess she’s over him cheating on her. Bailey and Kate are going camping, though she’s lied to her parents about what she’s doing. Artie’s at the Salingers’ but bails on Claudia hours before he’s supposed to leave. At Stage 18, Julia flirts with Morgan, and we’re reminded that he thinks she’s in college. He asks her to drive for their upcoming date, so of course she says she can.

Julia shares her woes with Nina, who encourages to do what she needs to do to keep Morgan. Julia decides to take a cab and pretend her car’s in the shop. Nina advises that “men love mysterious women.” Claudia overhears this and decides to wear a scarf and sunglasses when she stalks Artie at an ice cream shop, since that’s what she considers “mysterious.” “Think of all the hidden depths of my character,” she says. “Do I have to?” he asks.

At Kate’s house, her annoying father criticizes her clothes, then gives her a letter that arrived for her and which he already opened. She was accepted at a boarding school in Connecticut. Bailey’s not happy. Julia and Morgan go out, and she learns that he’s a recovering alcoholic (so running a club is a really good career path for him). There’s kissing, and Morgan asks if they can go back to her place. She lies that she lives with a family she nannies for and can’t have visitors. Also, if he calls and someone other than Julia picks up, he should hang up.

Charlie meets Kirsten at her place, and after some small talk, they decide to skip dinner and go straight to dessert, if you know what I mean. The next morning, Charlie tries to be affectionate, but Kirsten is distant. Bailey goes to see Kate’s mother and asks her to change Mr. Bishop’s mind about boarding school. Mrs. Bishop says Kate’s on board – she’s the one who sent away for the applications.

Julia hasn’t heard from Morgan, so she asks Bill the nanny if he’s gotten any hang-up calls. He says the phone hasn’t rung all day. Nina warns that she’s losing her mysteriousness. She might as well just call Morgan, or even go to his place. He’ll love her for being unpredictable. Again, Claudia overhears and applies this to her life by joining Artie’s karate class.

Bailey and Kate have it out over boarding school, which she says isn’t about him. She applied while they were broken up. She wants to have a stable living arrangement and get away from her father. Plus, if she goes to this boarding school, she might get to go to Paris, which is so much better than hanging out with Bailey. Julia takes a picnic to Morgan’s place, but he resists her spontaneity and won’t let her in. Julia asks if someone’s there, and he says no.

Charlie tracks Kirsten down and confronts her for blowing him off; it’s obviously revenge for his cheating. She tells him it was just a hookup and she’s sorry if he thought they were getting back together. She hints that she wanted to be with him because she was lonely, then tells him she might be sick. Charlie takes Kirsten home as she explains that her gynecologist found a mass. She didn’t say anything the night before because she didn’t want pitying looks from him. He offers to stay with her, but she sends him away.

Julia shares her dating problems with Nina again, sure that Morgan’s seeing someone else. Nina tells her to think of it as a blessing in disguise since Morgan’s older. She notes that Julia didn’t make a big deal out of the relationship until she thought there was another woman – people always find other people attractive when they’re unattainable.

Guess what? Claudia hears this. She enlists Will to accompany her to the ice cream shop and pretend to be her boyfriend to make Artie jealous. Artie tells Claudia she’s not as much fun as she used to be, so he doesn’t want to practice music with her anymore. (That’s not a euphemism. They’re only 12.)

Morgan makes a surprise visit to the Salingers’, so Julia pretends Charlie’s the oldest son of the couple she nannies for. Morgan explains that he didn’t have another woman over, he had a girl over: his two-year-old daughter. He was afraid to tell Julia because he didn’t want her to dump him. Bailey’s all mopey over boarding school, so he tells Kate they can’t go camping after all. He picks a fight and she blasts him for ruining the little time they have left.

Charlie and Kirsten have dinner together, but she’s cranky and doesn’t appreciate his attempts to cheer her up. She also doesn’t appreciate his attempts at a makeout session. She decides he’s not the person she should have turned to for support. Charlie assures her that he can be just a friend instead of pressuring her for sex. Kirsten tells him her sister’s coming out to visit, so he can stop trying to take care of her.

Kate begs Bailey not to call off the camping trip since it’s their last chance to spend time together. He blasts her for always trying to get what she wants instead of thinking about him. (Pssst, Kate: He’s talking about sex.) She tells him they’ll have sex on the camping trip. At home, Bailey tries to ask Charlie for sex advice without either of them actually using the word “sex.” Charlie says he’ll know if the time is right to get things started. The actual sex is the easiest part of the process.

Claudia tries to call Artie, explaining to Julia that she tried all of Nina’s dating tips and nothing works. Julia says Artie’s mad that Claudia’s been messing with him. Claudia points out that Julia’s been messing with Morgan. She meets Artie outside his karate class and admits that she was trying to get his attention. She misses spending time with him now that he’s taking karate. Once Claudia says straight out that she wants to hang out more, Artie easily agrees.

Out in the woods, Bailey and Kate get to the sex, but he realizes she doesn’t really want to go through with it. She insists she does since she doesn’t want him to forget her after she leaves. He knows that’s not a good reason to have sex. If she wants to be a virgin until marriage, she should. Julia takes Morgan a stuffed animal for his daughter, then prepares to tell him her own deep, dark secret. She’s interrupted by an inspector who wants to do an ID check around the bar.

Charlie brings Kirsten a new hair dryer (hers is broken) and some other random things he thought she should have. He announces that he loves her, and he can’t keep himself from taking care of her. “When you love someone and they need something, you have to get it for them,” he explains. Kirsten tells him she doesn’t have cancer, but she can’t have children.

Thoughts: Maybe Julia shouldn’t go out with Morgan to places where someone might know her?

A turtleneck and jumper are two of the least sexy things you could wear the morning after a hookup, Kirsten.

“Why is there an apostrophe? Snackwell’s.” Nina is smarter than I thought.

Kate, please find a new hat. Or try no hat at all. Yeah, let’s try no hat at all.

Maybe Claudia should tell Artie she’s going to boarding school. Then he’ll want her.

You want kids, Kirsten? Take Owen. He’d probably be better off with you.

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