March 24, 2013

BH90210 5.17, Sweating It Out: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Riding

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 2:57 pm by Jenn

I get it now! Dylan isn't jealous of Brandon, he's jealous of Kelly for stealing his one true love!

I get it now! Dylan isn’t jealous of Brandon, he’s jealous of Kelly for stealing his one true love!

Summary: The semester’s over, and Brandon and Dylan have no idea what to do other than hang out at the Peach Pit, apparently. Dylan suggests a road trip and some camping. He only has three days before his probation starts and he has to turn over his driver’s license. The guys will be road-tripping on motorcycles. Next door, the After Dark is being readied for its debut, but Steve doesn’t think it’ll be ready in time. He also thinks Clare and David will never be able to run it. Clare surprises him by telling him how awesome Rush is. In fact, everyone at the After Dark loves him.

Cindy questions Brandon and Dylan’s plans, though Jim notes that Dylan driving isn’t a better idea. Kelly comes over to say goodbye and tell Brandon she was invited to a workshop led by a psych professor, Patrick Finley. He has some grand theory called the new evolution. Valerie was also invited but wasn’t going to go until she found out Kelly was going. Dylan arrives and Cindy again expresses her anxiety over the guys’ trip. No one listens to her.

Clare, David, and Rush take a break at the Peach Pit while Donna tries to help Ray overcome his stage fright. Dylan and Brandon stop at a diner and flirt horribly with their waitress. Brandon tells Dylan about Lucinda showing up in D.C., but Dylan doesn’t want to hear about her, since she just reminds him of how Kelly and Brandon got together. Later, in their motel room, Brandon sneaks a call to Kelly while Dylan’s in the shower. The guys bicker, so this was clearly not a good idea. Brandon says he’ll go back to Beverly Hills in the morning.

Kelly and Valerie go to the seminar, which involves talk of the search for meaning and illumination and all that hippie stuff. Professor Finley (who’s in a wheelchair) tells the attendees, “We have evolved.” They’re very happy to hear that. Dylan doesn’t want Brandon to go home on his own, and somehow this leads to Brandon agreeing to continue the trip. Back at the seminar, Valerie’s bored but Kelly’s intrigued. When everyone splits into groups, Valerie ducks out. A grad student tells Kelly not to let a “negater” like Valerie hold her back from changing her life.

Brandon and Dylan take a pit stop at the border of a Native American reservation just as a police officer drives by. He tells them they’re desecrating a sacred burial land. Dylan blasts Brandon for handing over his driver’s license without asking to see the officer’s badge. (Um, Dylan, he just stepped out of a police car. I think that makes it pretty clear that he’s a cop.) The officer announces that he could arrest the guys, but instead he’s going to put them on a work detail.

Kelly tells her small group that she thought her life would be different after the fire. She used to care about how she looks, but now she feels like her physical appearance is less meaningful. Finley overhears and tells her not to analyze her “one truth,” which she’s revealed in an attempt to reach a “moment of clarity.” Kelly reveals that when the fire was approaching the door, she prayed that her face wouldn’t be burned – that Alison would be burned instead if that’s what it took. Kelly wants to change her life, but she doesn’t know how to do it.

The officer tells Dylan and Brandon to dig a big hole exactly two feet deep, with perfect sides and a perfect bottom. He gives Dylan the shovel and tells Brandon to supervise. Dylan balks, but Brandon says they have to do what they said they’d do. After all, the people on the reservation could do anything to them – they might not even follow the U.S. Constitution. (No, he really says this.) Dylan complains but starts digging.

Donna asks Steve for some advice on what to tell Ray before he performs. He tells her to sleep with him. Then he blasts her for not thinking that he might not want to hear about the After Dark. He calms down and tells her to look to the inspirational words of Vince Lombardi. The officer visits Dylan and Brandon, questioning Brandon’s claims that the whole is perfect. Dylan throws a hissy fit and storms off, so now it’s Brandon’s turn to dig. But Dylan doesn’t want Brandon to dig; that would give him the chance to tell everyone he bailed Dylan out. Brandon tells him it’ll just be for a while.

Donna confuses David and Clare by watching tapes of Lombardi giving his players pep talks. Clare’s figured out that Ray has stage fright. Donna assures them that she has everything under control. Kelly gushes that Finley is awesome, so David suggests that they get him to help Ray. Brandon and Dylan dig, dig, dig, Brandon with the shovel and Dylan with a rock. The officer returns, wondering who’s checking the sides and bottom if they’re both digging. He gives them back their licenses and tells them they’re free to leave, but he’d like them to stay.

A bunch of tribe members arrive, and by that night they’ve put up tents and turned the hole into a fire pit. The tribe members will use it as a sweat lodge. Brandon doesn’t want to have a turn, but Dylan doesn’t think they can turn down their host. Steve hangs out at the KEG house while everyone else at CU attends the After Dark’s opening. Rush comes by and Steve complains about how everyone loves him, and how he made a stupid deal in court. Rush says he doesn’t care how popular the After Dark gets if Steve doesn’t get to take part. He suggests that Steve sneak in.

Dylan and Brandon get naked in the sweat lodge and pray along with the other tribe members. Dylan is grateful to be alive, and Brandon is grateful to have this memorable experience with Dylan. The After Dark is a big hit, and Andrea and Jesse make their only appearance of the episode to congratulate Clare on the successful opening. David’s nervous that Ray will bomb or chicken out, so Clare tells him he gets to tell Donna if he wants to cancel Ray’s set.

Donna tells Ray to be like some football player, and remember that classic Lombardi quote: “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” She’s drawn plays on a chalkboard, and I’d love to know what they’re supposed to mean. Donna tells Steve she took his advice, which he admits was a joke. But it doesn’t matter since it worked, and Ray’s able to perform. Valerie is especially impressed.

In the morning, Brandon and Dylan decide to cut their trip short, since anything else they do will be anticlimactic. Dylan admits that he was mad because he thought Brandon would have an easier time digging a perfect hole. Now he knows everyone’s flawed. Brandon sees the situation differently: Dylan thought Brandon was out to get him when he wasn’t.

Kelly slides a note under Finley’s door and he invites her into his office. She asks if he started “evolving” when he wound up in a wheelchair. He says that she should know from the fire that there are some events that put your life into focus. Kelly can change her life, but not everyone will understand what she’s trying to do. She doesn’t care – she wants to evolve. Dylan comes home to hear a message from Jonesy: He’s in Brazil and has found Dylan’s money.

Thoughts: Don’t you have to have a special license to ride a motorcycle? Is Brandon flagrantly breaking the law? I think Jason Priestley just wanted to ride a motorcycle and look cool.

Brandon doesn’t think the Constitution applies on the reservation? No, of course not – they’re savages, you know. They’ll probably scalp him and feed him to wolves. Brandon, THEY HAVE A POLICE FORCE. They’re not uncivilized.

Rush, you such as a father. “I’m so disappointed in you for the fire! Take your punishment like a man! Now let’s go party at the one place you’re not supposed to go!”

People clapping during Ray’s song: This isn’t that kind of song. Also, you’re not on the beat. Just stand there and listen, okay? (Though I guess I should just be grateful that David doesn’t dance.)

1 Comment »

  1. MakingItExplicit Redivivus said,

    Pretty sure the concept tribal sovereignty entails that the constitution as a whole doesn’t apply on reservations.

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