April 28, 2013

Party of Five 2.2, Falsies: The Big Kiss-Off

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 2:44 pm by Jenn

Bailey, you're on a plane. Also, it's night. You're being ridiculous

Bailey, you’re on a plane. Also, it’s night. You’re being ridiculous

Summary: Charlie has returned home to tell Kirsten that Pamela took his money and Spencer and split. Kirsten thinks it’s for the best; Spencer won’t have Charlie in and out of his life, and Charlie could have gotten attached to him before Pamela left. Charlie doesn’t think he can just let it go. The school principal makes an announcement that there’s a new rule about PDAs and certain types of touching. That means Julia and Justin can’t suck each other’s faces anymore. Will tells Bailey that his father wants him to go to a certain college (Perry), but Bailey doesn’t like the idea. Will invites him to tag along for a tour.

Over at the middle school, Claudia feels uncomfortable in the locker room because she’s by far the smallest kid in her class, both vertically and in the chest region. Justin and Julia lament the no-kissing rule, though Julia is kind of fine following it if it means Griffin doesn’t see them together. Then she sees Griffin kissing his girlfriend and tries to make him jealous, landing herself and Justin in detention. Bailey and Will fly out to Perry, though Bailey doesn’t see the point in visiting a college he’s not going to attend. Coach is overbooked, and the two are randomly chosen to sit in first class.

Claudia fakes sick but Charlie doesn’t buy her act. She’s upset that Bailey got to skip school, though Charlie notes that he didn’t give Bailey permission to go off with Will. Charlie’s day gets harder when he learns about Julia’s detention. Later, he laments to Kirsten that he never disciplined his brothers and sisters when he was still just their brother because he wanted to let their parents handle that. Now he knows he has a child out there who might actually listen to his discipline, but he’s not around. Charlie wants to find him.

Bailey and Will’s tour guide, Keri, is pretty, so now Bailey’s not so bored by the whole thing. He pretends he’s already in college and is thinking of transferring to Perry. Charlie goes to all the art schools in San Francisco to find out if Pamela has modeled there, and just when he’s at the end of his rope, he gets a lead. Claudia calls a catalog company to buy a very, very small bra. At the coffeehouse, Justin and Julia arrange a kiss-off because they fancy themselves masters of civil disobedience. Julia gets uncomfortable when Justin approaches Griffin about participating. But she does learn that he and his girlfriend are over.

Keri takes Will and Bailey to a party, and she and Bailey get closer. He tells her he’s never been in love, then kisses her. Charlie crashes an art class to confront Pamela for keeping Spencer from him. He insists that he’s not the same person she knew four years ago. Pamela confesses that Spencer isn’t his son. Charlie’s the only person in the world who’s surprised. She thought that if she told him he was Spencer’s father, he would just give her money and send her away. Pamela’s mother is threatening to take Spencer away because she doesn’t think Pamela’s taking good care of him. She tells Charlie that Spencer isn’t his problem after all.

Back at home, Charlie tells Kirsten that he felt a connection with Spencer despite not being related to him. Kirsten reminds him that they were supposed to go get their marriage license today, but maybe they should wait since he’s distracted. Claudia takes forever in the bathroom, then emerges wearing an obviously stuffed bra. (Honey, you can’t wear that under a white shirt,) Keri’s late taking Will to his campus interview because she and Bailey had breakfast and spent the morning together. Will doesn’t catch the fact that Bailey didn’t tell Keri that his parents are dead.

At school, Julia expresses her condolences to Griffin on the end of his relationship. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. While Kirsten and Charlie get their marriage license, Sarah shows up for the Big Kiss-Off, but since Bailey’s not there, she doesn’t have anyone to kiss. She serves as a lookout and alerts the kissers when the principal’s approaching. Julia gets cold feet and suggests that they try to save the rainforest instead. At home, she tells Claudia to take off the stuffed bra and enjoy being a kid. Claudia shares her anxiety over looking different from everyone else.

Will hangs out with Keri some more, trying to get something started with her. She resists but says she’s sympathetic for his losses. He’s not interested in her pity, which is why he didn’t tell her about his parents or Jill. Kirsten’s up organizing in the middle of the night and tells Charlie that she likes to have everything in its place, while he’s fine with chaos. She’s not sure if she’ll still find that endearing in five years or 25 years. She reminds him that she can’t have kids, and though he’s said he’s fine with that, she’s now seen how much Spencer matters to him. Kirsten hates that Charlie’s heartbroken over something she can’t give him. She’s worried he’ll change his mind about wanting kids.

Bailey and Will fly home, but Bailey gives Will the silent treatment over telling Keri about his life. Will points out that he went along with Bailey’s lie about being in college. Bailey wanted a weekend where he was just a normal guy; he wanted the clean slate Will said college would be. Justin and Julia are sent to the principal’s office, but instead of being yelled at, she tells them she remembers what it was like being young and in love, so she’s revised the school rules. Claudia finally takes off the stuffed bra when a super-tall kid tries to befriend her because he likes what he sees.

Sarah’s happy to see Bailey back at school; she’s totally obvious about being in love with him, and when he touches her shoulder, she probably thinks, “I will never wash that again.” Bailey goes to his guidance counselor and asks what he needs to do to go to college on the other side of the country. He’s willing to do whatever’s necessary to get far away from his family. Claudia yells at Charlie for making Kirsten cry while they were looking at bridesmaids’ dresses. She’s worried that they’ll break up because Kirsten can’t have kids. (She heard their late-night conversation.) Charlie says it’s complicated, but Claudia disagrees.

Julia is sentenced to clap erasers (because this is 1970, I guess), and when Griffin comes across her, he kisses her. At home, Charlie tells Kirsten that he does want kids, but he wants to be with Kirsten more. Besides, they basically already have kids. He takes her to Owen’s room and says that they should adopt him. (The other siblings have already okayed this.) Kirsten asks if this will be enough for Charlie, and he says yes. The other Salingers watch from the doorway, because there’s no privacy in that freaking house.

Thoughts: Keri is played by Allison Smith. She’s been in a bunch of stuff, but is best known for Kate & Allie and The West Wing.

Charlie adopting Owen just seems weird. “This is my son, who’s really my brother.” And it would be confusing for Owen to have siblings who are also his father’s siblings. Why go through the adoption when Charlie’s already his guardian?

You know what would have saved a lot of problems? A paternity test. Call Maury, Charlie.

Pamela sucks at running away. She didn’t even leave the city!

Griffin’s shirts status: We’re up to three – one green, one blue, and one rust-colored.

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