BH90210 5.27, Squash It: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

May 11, 2013

BH90210 5.27, Squash It: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Not vanilla, indeed

Summary: We open in Reno, where Ray has just finished a show. He rejects a groupie in order to take a call from Donna, who offers to talk to Valerie about letting him come back to the After Dark. He’s supposed to be coming back to Beverly Hills in a couple weeks. Ray tells her that he might not be coming back then (but it has nothing to do with her). He invites her to come on the road with him. Donna doesn’t see much of a future in following him around while he tours.

Performance artists are on the stage at the After Dark, and the joint is definitely not jumping. Steve tells Valerie that with Ray gone, no one knows what the club is about anymore. Valerie says that she can’t afford to hire acts like Ray. Steve knows he’s not supposed to get involved, but he’ll give her some advice: Let David turn the place into a hip-hop club. Valerie’s out of ideas, so she lets Steve take the reins on this.

David offers Donna a ride home, and somehow accidentally starts a fight with Clare. She admits to Donna that she misses him. At CU, Chancellor Arnold recruits Brandon to convince a prospective student, Warren, to come to their school. The kid is, like, 13 and a jerk. He also has no interest in going to CU and is only there as a courtesy. Also, he immediately hates Brandon, so I like him.

At the After Dark, David catches Willie the cook’s nephew Juwan using his equipment. He’s a little ticked, but he likes what Juwan was playing. Willie calls him into the kitchen, where he’s supposed to be working as a dishwasher. Back on campus, Brandon’s new protégé demands to be entertained, announcing that he’s staying with Brandon until he has some fun. If Brandon doesn’t cooperate, Warren will complain, and the school will lose endowments.

Donna asks Valerie straight out what happened between her and Ray. She’s noticed that Ray doesn’t like talking about her, and she knows Valerie is the reason Ray doesn’t want to come back to the After Dark. Valerie plays innocent victim, saying she must have given Ray mixed signals when they first met. Donna asks her to call Ray in Reno and convince him that he’s welcome to come back to the After Dark. Valerie is totally on board with that idea.

Dylan has another hypnotherapy session, though he doesn’t think it was successful. Dr. Campbell thinks he’s ready to do his first regression that night. She tells him to open his hand, and he sees that he’s holding a stone with a yin/yang symbol on it. At the Peach Pit, David tells Steve that he wants Juwan to DJ at the After Dark. Steve objects, saying Juwan’s a gangster – he’s only working at the Peach Pit so he’ll be off the streets and away from gang activity. Nat backs up David’s desire to give Juwan a second chance.

Now David just needs permission from Juwan’s parole officer. He finds him at a group session, where Juwan and other delinquents are watching an anti-fighting video called “Squash It.” The officer literally tells the kids, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Somehow, they manage not to laugh in his face. Some of the other kids tease Juwan for getting a visit from a white boy. Juwan’s surprised that David got Willie to agree to let him play; Willie doesn’t see a difference between gangster rap and real gangsters.

Dr. Campbell goes to Dylan’s house for the regression, in which Dylan sees himself in a rail yard (what’s with him and trains?) in the 1920s. They’re interrupted by the phone. Dylan’s really excited to have seen something, but Dr. Campbell doesn’t want to do another regression until the next night. Brandon takes Warren to his house, and upon seeing Valerie, Warren is finally rendered speechless for the first time all day. Valerie calls Ray, but he hangs up on her.

Donna, Clare, and Andrea chat at the Peach Pit, and Andrea admits that she might be willing to move to Idaho with Jesse, if it means they’re patching things up. Some Australian rocker is looking for Valerie – she was supposed to book his band but won’t let them play – so Valerie pretends to be someone else to avoid him.

Juwan gives David DJing tips, then asks why David’s giving him a chance. David just wants to play music, and asks Juwan to advertise the gig to his friends. Steve thinks he’s crazy, since Juwan will bring in a bunch of gang members. He doesn’t want to risk getting busted so David can “play social worker.” (Steve, David’s not the reason you’ll be busted – you’re violating a court order to do this stuff, and that’s on you, idiot.)

Valerie calls David to let him and Steve know that they’ll have to take care of hip-hop night on their own – she has to go out of town. Brandon and Kelly take Warren to the KEG house so he can play pool with Steve and the other brothers. Steve wants him, but Kelly thinks he’s a jerk, since he groped her. Brandon finally loses it, yelling at Warren and telling him he doesn’t care what the chancellor finds out. Kelly thinks he overreacted. Warren runs off, so now Brandon has to find him.

Hip-hop night kicks off, and don’t tell Steve, but there are a lot of non-white people there. Donna and Clare stop by, though Clare isn’t sure how Donna and David can still be friends after their breakup. Donna wonders why Clare decided to come, since she supposedly hates David. Juwan notices that David’s happy to see Donna, and that Clare seems happy to see David. Clare finds onstage David to be hot. I knew I hated that girl.

The Australian rockers try to crash the After Dark, learning that the woman who’s been avoiding them is really Valerie. They pay the bouncer to let them in. David raps – let me repeat that: DAVID RAPS – and Clare is all turned on. The Australians decide to cause trouble in the form of bumping into people and bugging Clare. Nat goes off to call the police before anything more can happen. David tries to calm everyone, but the Australians turn to vandalism and storm the stage.

Juwan starts to mobilize his friends to fight back as David struggles to keep the peace. Willie tells Juwan to check himself (no, really). Juwan refuses to put up with disrespect. David gets between the guys and gets Juwan to back off. The delinquents all make the “squash it” hand gesture from the video. Everyone leaves except the Australians, who are disappointed that everyone else was a coward.

Valerie surprises Ray in Reno while Dylan undergoes his second regression attempt. This time he’s on a train with a woman. He appears to be a writer. Someone boards the train looking for him, so they try to hide. The guy grabs the woman and pulls her off the train while Dylan stands there meekly.

The cops arrest the Australians while Juwan tells David that he did the “squash it” thing because he couldn’t think of anything else to do. Willie’s proud of him. David’s mad that the Australians caused damage, but Clare notes that the whole night was a disaster. He starts getting mad, so Juwan tells him to squash it. Clare tells David how hot he was, and how he almost made her like hip-hop. Then they kiss, so I guess that’s back on.

In Reno, Valerie tells Ray that Donna wants him to come back to Beverly Hills. Valerie’s just trying to be helpful, you know? She wants Ray back at the After Dark, but not because the club is doing badly, or anything. Ray says he’ll only return on his own terms. Val tries to play it off like they’re friends, and everything will be totally professional.

Dylan’s disturbed by his regression, though Dr. Campbell says what he saw could have only been a message from his subconscious. Dylan thinks it really happened. She tells him it could be “one link in a chain.” He could be interpreting a point in his life when he let a woman down. Now he needs to investigate and find out the truth about himself.

Brandon has spent the evening looking for Warren, who wound up returning to the Walshes’ house to hang out with Cindy. He tells Brandon he got upset because of the yelling. Brandon notes that he’s going to have to be more mature if he wants to go to college. The problem is that Warren doesn’t want to go yet, since he likes what he has at home. Brandon duhs that he should live at home while he goes to college. (I’m not sure they would let someone that young live in a dorm anyway.)

Valerie meets Ray after a performance, having convinced him to come back to Beverly Hills. Ray thinks she’s changed. She quickly disproves that by trying to get him back into bed. Ray declines, and Valerie says she was just testing him.

Thoughts: Okay, this is scary: Juwan is played by the same actor who played Andy in the most recent Party of Five episode I watched.

Clare, if the dress you’re wearing made me think you were really wearing an apron, that’s a problem.

“I might be white, but I ain’t vanilla.” No, David, what you are is delusional.

Seriously, what is Clare’s appeal? I choose to believe that David’s only with her because he’s bored and can’t be with Donna.

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