June 17, 2013

BH90210 6.1, Home Is Where the Tart Is: Actually, I Can’t Improve On That Title

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 9:11 pm by Jenn

Brandon does Blue Steel

Brandon does Blue Steel

Summary: Kelly’s on a plane to California, and a guy asks to sit with her so he can flirt badly. He’s an artist and is moving to a studio in Venice Beach. They kiss, and the other passengers enjoy the show. Then the guy asks Kelly if she wants to join the Mile-High Club. Despite the fact that no one has ever successfully used that line, she follows him to the bathroom. There, they reveal that they already know each other – in fact, they spent all summer together in New York.

Even though the Walshes’ house was sold at the end of last season, there’s still a sign outside. Most of the furniture is gone. Brandon wanders around, winding up in his bed, but he’s not alone. Not that he minds – he’s always up for a makeout session with a stranger. The mystery woman is Ginger, Valerie’s best friend from Buffalo, who was staying at the house while Brandon was gone for the summer.

Kelly takes her new boy-toy to the beach apartment, where he makes fun of her and her roommates’ taste in art. Clare welcomes Kelly home and meets the boy-toy, Colin Robbins. Clare’s familiar with his work, having read about him in an art magazine. (Also, she has a photographic memory – who knew?) Donna and Ray hang out on a boat, and I guess their summer was good, because there’s no yelling or pushing or anything. Also, Ray has spent the summer sailing with Dr. Martin on his yacht.

Valerie gives us the exposition that Brandon spent the summer in Boston; he was working for a newspaper. He calls Ginger “a piece of work.” Valerie’s glad to have Brandon back, since she spent most of the summer alone (and with no furniture). Escrow closes next week, so they don’t have much time to find new places to live. Brandon plans to move in with Steve. Valerie tells him he’ll “learn how to buy beer in six languages.”

She brings up their brush with romance from months ago, and we learn that once they started to get naked, they started laughing and couldn’t continue. Valerie moved on to a baseball player, but apparently she was such a distraction to him that he got bumped back to the minors. She’s been lonely, since the gang ignored her all summer. Brandon thinks they were just busy doing their own stuff, and that everyone will be happily reunited now that they’re all back in town. Val isn’t sure, but he encourages her to stay in Beverly Hills since she’s the only family he has left there.

Kelly shows Clare the photos she took in New York; she’s not giving up school for her modeling career, though. Dylan arrives and admires her portfolio as well (not a euphemism for anything). He traveled a bunch over the summer but is “back where [he] started.” Kelly thinks he’s talking about the two of them, but I think he means that he didn’t get any further in his investigation. He shows Kelly his father’s pocket watch, which he’d once sold to pay a bar tab. He wants to visit Jack’s storage facility, and he wants Kelly to come with him (but just as a friend).

Brandon gets an email from his parents, asking him to call them. Steve and David drop by, and Ginger coos over David. (No, I don’t know why.) The guys tell Brandon that they know of an apartment the three of them can rent together. The Walshes’ real estate agent shows up to make some last-minute arrangements, and Brandon assures her that they’ll clean the house before the closing. She tells him that the buyers are going to tear the house down after they buy it, so the kids can trash it if they want. Steve decides they need to throw a huge, messy party.

Dylan and Kelly go to the storage facility while Brandon, Steve, and David drive over to their potential new place. Steve expositions that David and Clare broke up over the summer. Steve had to go to summer school and still isn’t a junior. Also, he worked as a doorman at the After Dark, so he really isn’t trying to hide that he’s flaunting the law, is he? The guys’ possible new building is super-nice, and they would have a penthouse with three bedrooms and three bathrooms. No, I don’t know how they would pay for it.

Kelly and Dylan find a bunch of Jack’s paperwork and discuss their daddy issues. Dylan also finds a notebook Jack wrote in while he was in prison. He played a lot of pinochle and his cellmate owed him a lot of money. Kelly jokes that Dylan should go collect, but Dylan thinks visiting the cellmate might actually be a good idea, since he might know something. He tells Kelly that he plans to make his father’s killer pay. She asks him to be careful. They almost kiss, but she stops and tells him he doesn’t need her anymore.

The gang attends a party on the Martins’ yacht, along with a bunch of rich people. Valerie and Ginger crash the party, but Donna doesn’t want to ruin the party with a confrontation, so she lets them stay. One of Felice’s guests tells her that she accidentally left a ring on the sink, and when she went back to get it, it was gone. Ray says he was just there but didn’t see the ring.

Dylan visits Jack’s cellmate, Harris, who warns him not to go after Jack’s killer because he’s dangerous. Dylan, of course, doesn’t want to listen. He’s brought Harris some Robert Ludlum novels, and he notes that things always work out in the books, but in real life, the good guys don’t always make it. Then he tells Dylan that Jack was killed by a man named Anthony Marchette. Harris doesn’t think Dylan will be able to get to him. “That’s what they said about Jack,” Dylan replies.

The woman whose ring went missing files a report with her insurance company as Felice all but asks Donna if she thinks Ray might be a thief. Back at the Walshes’ after the party, Ginger sends Brandon’s parents an email telling them she’s in love with him. He’s both turned on and creeped out. Steve brings over some spray paint so they can really make a mess in the house. Brandon objects until Steve asks if he’s going to cry when the bulldozer knocks the house down. Ginger draws a big heart on the wall, so I think she’s high on paint fumes.

At the beach apartment, Donna tries to pretend that Felice doesn’t think Ray stole the ring. Kelly helps Colin move into his studio as they discuss her trip to the storage facility with Dylan. Apparently Colin’s dad doesn’t know that he’s a professional artist. I don’t care since I don’t like Colin. The party at the Walshes’ starts, but Brandon’s upstairs unpacking and moping over the engagement ring Kelly gave back.

Kelly arrives at the party, and she and Brandon are on surprisingly friendly terms. She meets Ginger and, upon learning that she knows Val, says, “Well, any friend of Valerie’s….” (No, she doesn’t want to finish that sentence.) Brandon and Ginger make out again. Nat brings over some food so he has an excuse to be in this episode. Valerie questions Kelly’s activities since returning to town, and Kelly tells her she’s not going to be nice anymore. (Not that she was that nice to her before.)

Dylan eventually shows up at the party, and Valerie’s happy to see him until he asks if Kelly’s there. Dylan tells Brandon that Marchette, who’s known as a big land developer, killed Jack, and he wants Brandon to…do something, apparently. (Because Brandon’s good at helping people get revenge on murderers?) The party starts to get crazy as Ray tells Donna that he’s feeling more comfortable around her friends. Dylan heads out, telling Kelly not to worry about him.

Ginger wants some alone time with Brandon, and he starts to cooperate until he spots Kelly and gets cold feet. Nat announces that he’s leaving, telling Brandon that what the gang is doing is disgraceful. Brandon doesn’t think it’s a big deal since the house is going to be destroyed. As Nat leaves, the real estate agent arrives and informs Brandon that the house fell out of escrow. There’s no sale, and the Walshes still own the place.

The party ends with the gang trying to figure out what to do about the totally trashed house that is now the responsibility of one of them. They all offer to help get things back in order. Donna borrows Ray’s jacket, and when she puts her hand in a pocket, she finds the missing ring. Steve asks Ray straight out if he took it, and when Ray says no, Steve says he believes him. Ray thinks he’s being mocked. He notes that if he did take the ring, he wouldn’t keep it in his pocket.

Brandon kicks himself for being irresponsible and letting everyone trash his house. Valerie reminds him that everyone’s going to help fix it. He wonders if he can talk his parents into not selling the house and letting him live there. Knowing them, they probably will.

Thoughts: Ginger is played by Elisa Donovan, who’s probably best known as Amber from Clueless.

The email the Walshes send Brandon is in all caps, so I bet Jim typed it.

Also, they bought Brandon a new car when they moved, since they felt guilty for leaving him. What the–? You should be happy to get away from him! Of course, these are the people who rewarded Brenda’s brattiness with a trip to Paris, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Donna’s tan plus her bleached hair isn’t a good look.

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