June 24, 2013

BH90210 6.3, Must Be a Guy Thing: Tony! Toni! Toné!

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 9:14 pm by Jenn

"I get to make out with Luke Perry, and later I'll marry Eric Dane. It's hard not to hate me, isn't it?"

“I get to make out with Luke Perry, and later I’ll marry Eric Dane. It’s hard not to hate me, isn’t it?”

Summary: School is about to start up again, but Clare’s the only person kind of looking forward to it. Valerie, Steve, and Donna decide they need to go to the beach. Kelly shows up to the Peach Pit with Colin and is stunned to learn that he and Valerie already know each other. In fact, they once traveled through Europe together. Kelly puts on her worried face.

Early the next morning, Dylan goes to CU, where Brandon teases him for finding his way back to college. Dylan admits that he’s there to stalk Anthony Marchette’s son, who’s a CU student. Elsewhere, Valerie tells Steve that she and Colin met on a teen tour of Europe, and she had a big crush on him. Another elsewhere, Clare and Donna wonder what developed between Val and Colin in Europe. Kelly tries to convince them (and herself) that it’s not a big deal.

Dylan goes to Marchette’s son’s class and learns that the son, Tony, is actually a daughter, Toni. He tries to ask her out after class, but she’s not interested. Steve manages to put together an awesome schedule – nothing on Mondays and Fridays, and nothing before 11 a.m. But he’s suspicious because his advisor wants to see him.

Now that Brandon’s not president anymore, he didn’t have any pull to get a good schedule. He’s decided to try to get a column in the school paper. Kelly and Donna warn him that the editor is tough and definitely a feminist. Colin finds Kelly for a makeout session, making Valerie uncomfortable. Steve meets with his advisor, who orders him to take remedial class five days a week. And those would be morning classes. Also, he should get a tutor.

Kelly joins Colin at the art building, where he tells her he was offered a teaching position but doesn’t want it. She brings up Valerie, but Colin insists that nothing ever happened between them (and it sounds like he never wanted it to). Brandon meets the newspaper editor, Susan, and asks if he can be a columnist. She tells him he’ll have to work for it. She also clearly doesn’t like him, which is awesome.

The husband of the woman whose ring Ray didn’t steal is a record executive, and Donna has arranged for him to hear Ray play at the After Dark. Speaking of the After Dark, Valerie gives Colin a tour and they reminisce about the Europe trip. He admires a wall, wanting to paint a mural on it. Kelly’s not thrilled that he’ll be spending so much time at the club.

Dylan stalks Toni some more, and she must find his khaki vest more charming than I do, because she offers him a ride in her chauffeured car. Brandon gives Susan an article he wrote, saying it’s a freelance piece. It’s a response to a column she wrote about what girls on campus should watch out for in college guys. Susan tears it up and calls Brandon on having an overblown ego. He thinks they should “research” by seeing what college students actually do in a social setting, such as the After Dark.

Colin tries to figure out what to paint at the club while I try to keep myself awake. David’s late for Ray’s sound check because he was doing something for his mom, and Valerie snaps at him. Kelly calls her on her attitude like a nice, protective sister. Valerie asks if Kelly’s being mean because of David or because she hired Colin. Kelly says it depends on whether Val’s being friendly with him…or overly friendly.

Dylan and Toni go out to eat, and he digs for information on her father. She wants to go out again, though it might mean getting away from her bodyguard, Bruno. She and Dylan agree to meet at the After Dark that night. Steve starts interviewing math tutors, hoping for one who’s gorgeous, corrupt, or both. In short, he wants to pay the tutor to do his work. Unfortunately, his most likely candidate doesn’t speak enough English to know what he’s agreeing to.

Brandon’s surprised to see Susan looking hot at the club, because smart women don’t clean up nice, or something. Whatever, Brandon, shut up. Valerie apologizes to David for snapping at him and offers to be there if he needs to vent about having a crazy parent. He’s surprised that she’s actually capable of showing sympathy. Ray’s nervous about his set, and becomes even more nervous when he learns that the record executive’s daughter has to like him for her father to agree to sign Ray. So far, so bad.

A guy tries to flirt with Susan, using one of the world’s worst pickup lines. When he asks if they’ve met somewhere before, she replies, “I’m the secretary at your VD clinic.” Steve complains to Clare about being forced to take math, and she offers to tutor him. He won’t enjoy the process, but he’ll pass. “She’s beautiful, but is she corrupt?” Brandon asks. (Okay, heh.) Colin and Kelly decide to ditch the club early so they can go get naked at his place. Valerie mopes.

Toni manages to evade Bruno and meet Dylan at the After Dark, but he wants to go somewhere else, since he’s there all the time. He mentions that he once bought the place. He didn’t say anything earlier because he didn’t want Toni to be interested in him for his money. (Uh, she’s rich, too, so I don’t think she cares.) They go inside anyway, and Toni meets the gang. Then Ray does his set, and I say yay for fast-forward. Brandon notices that Toni is really, really interested in Dylan.

At the end of the night, Brandon walks Susan to her car, and as much as I like her, I have to side with him in this; it’s a nice thing to do, and it’s safer that way. Whatever, his charm is definitely wearing her down. Clare lays down the law for Steve, then takes advantage of his desperation to give him a high prices for sessions. He asks how much it would cost for topless tutoring, and she says he can’t afford it. And with that, I actually like Clare for a minute.

The exec’s daughter liked Ray, I guess, so Donna thinks he’s going to get a contract. Brandon warns Dylan that he’ll be heading for disaster if he keeps hanging out with Toni. Dylan is too focused on his plan to care. He takes Toni home and gets a goodnight kiss. Marchette sees them from the doorway and asks Bruno to look into who Dylan is.

Kelly’s alone at Colin’s loft when a woman named Claudia from a gallery in New York calls to talk to him. For some reason, this is supposed to be important. Susan runs Brandon’s article and agrees to let him write a weekly column. He wants to have dinner with her. She says they have nothing in common and she basically hates him, but he won’t take no for an answer. And she finds that charming! Arg, Susan, you’re quickly losing my love.

Colin goes to the After Dark to start painting, and Valerie offers to help inspire him. I’m not sure he gets the subtext there. She tells him straight out that she’s always dreamed of kissing him, so he makes her dream come true, and I really can’t believe no one saw that, especially Kelly.

Thoughts: Clare’s hair is pretty awful, but when she wears it in pigtails, it’s adorable.

I find it very hard to suspend my disbelief that Colin and Valerie know each other. That’s such a soap thing, to have someone move across the country and encounter someone they know. Like how people show up in town and then discover their long-lost relatives live there.

Other things that are hard for me to do: not call Susan “Anya.”

Steve carries a briefcase to class. What’s in it, crayons?

Susan: “I object to everything about you.” Brandon: “But you don’t even know me.” Susan: “Exactly. Why ruin a good thing?” Please don’t change, Susan.

Rebecca Gayheart is…not that great in this.

Brandon, is Susan is bascially your boss. Don’t ask out your boss.

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