June 30, 2013

BH90210 6.4, Everything’s Coming Up Roses: Everyone Makes Out and Then Someone Almost Dies

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 4:54 pm by Jenn

Yup

Yup

Summary: Dylan uses an electronic typewriter (no joke) to type a letter to the FBI in case he dies while investigating Marchette. Toni shows up unexpectedly, having skipped class to take him to the beach. Kelly and Donna go to a meeting about the Tournament of Roses Royal Court; Kelly thinks Donna only wants to participate because she’s a “sucker for tiaras.” Susan is also there, because of course she’s writing an editorial about why the court is stupid. Brandon teases her about it.

Later, Donna goes with Ray to meet with the record exec who’s supposed to be signing him, but the meeting gets rescheduled. The exec also doesn’t want to listen to Ray’s tape. Fortunately, his daughter (the one who drives all his decisions) is now in love with Ray. At the Walshes’, Steve chats with a girl on CU’s message boards, telling her he’s sensitive and gentle and all that crap. He encourages Brandon to try it out, but we all know Brandon’s already met his next conquest.

David hangs out with his mom, who really doesn’t want him to leave, even to go study. Dylan does his math homework at the Peach Pit, where Willie proves to be a math whiz. Clare’s tutoring sessions don’t seem to be working out. Clare sits with Kelly, Donna, and Valerie, who have all (except Val) decided to try out for the Rose Court. Kelly wants to go to the Rose Court ball with Colin, so Valerie offers to give him the night off. She ends up helping him with his mural, offering her services for the weekend.

Donna and Felice get manicures, and Donna shares that she’s trying out for the Rose Court. Felice doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Donna sees this as criticism, and Felice’s way of saying she’s not good enough to make it. Dylan invites Toni out for a motorcycle ride, so she ditches her schoolwork for him again. They’re followed by her bodyguard, Bruno. Val goes to the Rose Court tryouts anyway, lying to Kelly that she tried to get Colin to take the night off for the ball, but he said no.

Susan snarks about the process while Brandon tells her she likes being critical too much, and she comes across as elitist. Dylan and Toni go for a ride, trying to lose Bruno. Either the bike is faster than Bruno’s car or Bruno sucks at his job. The Rose Court hopefuls tour some house and see the tiaras worn by previous Rose Queens. (Donna used to make her own for her Barbies.) Val notes that there are only seven slots on the Rose Court, so Donna has little chance of making it. Valerie decides she’s had enough of the process and leaves.

Donna goes before the judges, one of whom calls her “lovely.” Having successfully ditched Bruno, Toni announces that she wants to drive Dylan’s bike. For some reason, he lets her, even though she doesn’t know where anything is. Except she’s lying, because she does know how to drive a motorcycle. This is the dumbest scene ever. They make out for, like, an hour while Bruno watches them.

Kelly asks Colin about the ball, but he doesn’t want to go. She turns to David, who decides this is a great excuse to get out of hanging out with Sheila again. Clare struggles through another tutoring session with Steve, then asks him to go to the ball with her. Brandon bugs Dylan about Toni, having predicted that he would fall in love with her. Dylan gives him the key to a safety deposit box in case something happens to him.

Brandon and Dylan get a look at the message Steve is writing his new cyber-girlfriend. Awesomely, it starts with “Dear Cuddles.” He plans to meet her after the ball. Also going to the ball: Susan, who agrees to accompany Brandon. Donna makes the Rose Court, but she’s upset that Felice isn’t happy about it. Kelly tells her it doesn’t matter what her mother thinks, and that their friends support her. Ray makes things worse by telling Donna he can’t go to the ball; he has to play at the record exec’s daughter’s birthday party if he wants a deal.

Valerie “helps” Colin with the mural, though I don’t think she actually does anything useful. They’re done faster than expected, so he suggests another activity they can do. Donna mopes at the birthday party while Ray accompanies a game of musical chairs. At the ball, Brandon suggests that he and Susan get their picture taken (this thing is basically like a prom) and run it with their editorial about the Rose Court. The photographer thinks they’re dating. At least they’re having fun, unlike Steve and Clare.

David and Kelly dance, but fortunately, the band is playing swing music, so David isn’t as dorky as usual. Susan accuses Brandon of staring at his ex. Colin and Valerie arrive, and how did they get tickets? Val notes that Kelly doesn’t seem too upset to be at the ball without her boyfriend. She is upset, however, at seeing Valerie there with Colin. Val swears that she didn’t intend to make Kelly mad; she and Colin thought Kelly would be happy to have Colin come. Colin backs this up but asks Kelly to apologize to Valerie. But first, making out!

Steve and Clare both ditch the ball early, followed by Brandon and Susan, who have to go work on their story. (Not a euphemism.) David offers Valerie a ride home if she’s okay with stopping by his mother’s place first. Toni goes back to Dylan’s for more making out. Susan, Brandon, and their sexual tension work on the story, and he tells her she’s a good editor. He tries to fish for a compliment in return, but she can’t think of one. Then she tells him he has good lips, and they make out.

Donna and Ray make it to the ball just in time for the last dance of the evening. He thinks she’ll be crowned Rose Princess, and she thinks he’ll become a rock star. Steve goes to the Peach Pit to meet his cyber-girlfriend, who turns out to be Clare. Neither of them is happy, but Nat thinks it’s hilarious. They decide to have coffee anyway. On their way home, David and Valerie stop by Sheila’s apartment and see ambulances and police cars outside. Sheila’s taken away by paramedics, having attempted suicide.

Thoughts: I’m not really a girly girl, but I completely support Donna’s love of tiaras.

Steve: “You get more honey with flies.” Brandon: “Can’t argue with logic like that.” Hee.

I’m still not seeing any appeal with Colin, and especially not so much that two girls would want him. He’s beyond dull.

If you didn’t see it coming that Clare was Steve’s cyber-girlfriend, congratulations on being born yesterday.

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