August 5, 2013

BH90210 6.12, Breast Side Up: Happy Sexgiving

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 8:35 pm by Jenn

Why is Brandon kissing "You've Got Mail"-era Meg Ryan?

Why is Brandon kissing “You’ve Got Mail”-era Meg Ryan?

Summary: Colin and Susan are both getting ready to go see their families for Thanksgiving. Colin is a little concerned that Kelly will be spending the holiday with Brandon. She tells him to let it go. Susan is also concerned, saying straight out that she wishes Kelly and Brandon weren’t going to be seeing each other. The rest of the gang (plus Joe and Sheila) goes to the grocery store to shop for their big communal dinner. Valerie’s getting along really well with her boyfriend’s mother.

Shopping montage! Clare buys some booze for the cocktail party her father is hosting, but isn’t she under 21? Kelly gets flowers for a centerpiece, and Brandon compliments her on her ability to make things pretty. She can tell he misses his family and isn’t as happy as he lets on about having his first Thanksgiving on his own. After the shopping trip, Donna and Joe have to go to a deposition, but Donna hopes not to discuss the case any more for the rest of the week. Kelly’s upset that Donna’s relationship with Ray has to come out in court.

Valerie appears to be in charge of the meal, and she’s determined to have dinner at the dining room table, not in front of the TV. Brandon and Kelly go to the Peach Pit to pick up pies, leading Steve to comment to Valerie that they’re pretty chummy again. Kelly and Brandon tell each other that they told their significant others that nothing was going to happen between them. Sheila helps Valerie in the kitchen with tips about cooking the turkey (you’re supposed to cook it breast side down). Val pulls David aside to whine that she wants to cook by herself, so he needs to get Sheila away from her.

Kelly and Brandon return with pies and Nat’s tip to cook the turkey breast side up. Valerie complains to them about Sheila trying to take over. They don’t care. Colin calls, and while Kelly’s out of the room, Val asks Brandon if he’s going to take advantage of Susan and Colin being away. Donna and Joe go to her deposition, after which she has to run a secret errand for his birthday. Donna goes through the world’s shortest deposition, and her testimony makes it sound like Joe attacked Ray without being provoked. Joe’s lawyer sucks and doesn’t clarify anything.

Steve and Clare go to Chancellor Arnold’s cocktail party, where Steve is nervous to run his advisor, the guy who found out he’d cheated on his math placement test. He’s also annoyed when his advisor remarks that opposites attract when he learns that Steve and Clare are dating. Clare doesn’t get why he cares what all the party guests think about him. I don’t get why the writers think this is interesting in any way.

Donna tries to meet up with NFL player Steve Young, whose agent’s father was a patient of her father’s. She wants Steve to come by the Walshes’ the next day to wish Joe a happy birthday. Steve drinks and mopes in the corner at the party until Clare makes him meet faculty members. He bonds with them after they learn who his mother is. I punch myself in the face to try to stay awake. Donna returns home without securing a visit from Steve Young, but she tells Kelly she has a plan B for a present: her V-card.

On Thanksgiving morning, Valerie wakes up late and freaks out because she’s lost valuable cooking time. Luckily, Sheila’s already on it. And she’s cooking it breast side down, because apparently this is an episode-long theme we’re supposed to care about. Val thanks her for her help, and Sheila lets her know she likes her with David. At the beach apartment, Kelly tries to talk Donna out of sleeping with Joe this early in their relationship. Clare tells them that the way Steve acted at the party the night before made her like him even more.

The turkey is served, and Valerie relaxes her rule about not letting anyone eat in front of the TV. Joe says grace and everyone wishes him a happy birthday. Sheila learns that the gang plans to go to the Peach Pit later to serve dinner to the homeless. She gets nervous about it but tells David she’ll go – if it weren’t for him, she’d still be homeless herself. Donna’s also nervous since Steve Young is late. Susan calls, and Valerie pretends to be sympathetic toward Kelly.

Joe has to leave to have dinner with the football team, and he doesn’t plan on coming back later, so he won’t be getting either present Donna planned to give him. Just as he’s about to go, Steve Young arrives with a signed football and plays a pickup game with the gang. Later, he encourages Joe to figure out what he wants to do in life, since he won’t be able to play football forever. That evening, the gang helps Nat at the Peach Pit, and Donna tells Kelly that she’s 100 percent sure she wants to have sex with Joe that night. Kelly supports her now.

Brandon invites Kelly back to the house to watch horror movies. David has seen them eyeing each other, and he tells Valerie that he doesn’t think Brandon’s going to be alone in the house. The exes briefly discuss their breakup, Dylan, and their new relationships, agreeing that they’re too honorable to cheat. (Though they weren’t too honorable to sleep with their best friend’s boyfriend or a married professor.) Elsewhere, Steve and Clare are boring.

At the beach apartment, Donna tells Joe she’s ready to sleep with him. But there’s a twist – he doesn’t want to sleep with her! He’s also a virgin, and he doesn’t want to have sex before he’s married. She tells him she feels the same way. The next morning, Kelly and Brandon are all proud of themselves for not having sex, though they do share a kiss. Valerie sees them hugging and thinks they did exactly what they’re celebrating not doing.

Thoughts: The grocery store is pretty empty considering it’s the day before a major holiday.

Trivia: Donna’s middle name is Marie.

Joe, fire your lawyer. Unless you want to lose, in which case, keep doing what you’re doing.

So Donna’s birthday is Christmas and Joe’s falls on Thanksgiving this year. Weird.

Valerie’s hair looks better just after she’s woken up than mine does after ten minutes of styling.

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