August 6, 2013

What I Learned from Sweet Valley High

Posted in books tagged at 8:03 pm by Jenn

Some of the old covers really don't hold up over time

Some of the old covers really don’t hold up over time

Reader Catherine suggested that I write a post about everything I learned from reading SVH. I thought it was a good idea, and a nice way to wrap up the series. So here’s what I learned about an ’80s/’90s YA series about identical twins, one good and one evil (or sometimes both evil). Feel free to add your own in the comments:

  • Identical twins may look the same, but they actually have differences! Sometimes a lot of differences!
  • It’s okay to date your sister’s ex-boyfriend…or your sister’s current boyfriend.
  • Some things are forgivable, like attempted rape. Some things are not, like forgetting to give someone a phone message or a letter.
  • There’s noting worse than a “fast girl” or a high school dropout.
  • There’s always a chance your separated or divorced parents will get back together.
  • You could have upwards of three doppelgangers out in the world. Most of them are evil.
  • No matter how many times you cheat on your boyfriend, he will always want you back.
  • Don’t do drugs. Ever.
  • If you date Jessica, there’s roughly a 70 percent chance you’ll end up dead.
  • Teenagers love discos and old movies.
  • Very few men have a problem with dating a 16-year-old girl.
  • Deafness, blindness, and paralysis can be cured.
  • Identical twins run in families. Never mind what science says.
  • Always be yourself. Unless it’ll keep you from being popular.
  • Police are horrible. Solve all crimes and go into all dangerous situations by yourself.
  • And finally, the Wakefield twins are prettier, smarter, more talented, more charming, and just plain better than you in every way. Kneel before them in awe.

1 Comment »

  1. Rocky said,

    I am slowly catching up, reading all your archives, and had to comment here. Your list is perfect. May I also suggest:

    – Boys will never, ever date a fat girl. If she loses weight, though, she can probably get a boyfriend.

    – Boys will also never, ever date a girl with glasses. If she starts wearing contacts, though, she will instantly be beautiful and guys will all of a sudden realize it and flock to her side.

    – It’s normal to invite your teachers to parties, and it’s normal for them to attend.

    – If you suspect a crime, even a violent one, investigate it yourself for a while. Don’t involve the authorities.

    – It’s possible to fall in love within a few hours of meeting someone.

    – It’s normal for a high school to have a dance every weekend, and to have at least two proms in a year.

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