August 6, 2013
What I Learned from Sweet Valley High
Some of the old covers really don’t hold up over time
Reader Catherine suggested that I write a post about everything I learned from reading SVH. I thought it was a good idea, and a nice way to wrap up the series. So here’s what I learned about an ’80s/’90s YA series about identical twins, one good and one evil (or sometimes both evil). Feel free to add your own in the comments:
- Identical twins may look the same, but they actually have differences! Sometimes a lot of differences!
- It’s okay to date your sister’s ex-boyfriend…or your sister’s current boyfriend.
- Some things are forgivable, like attempted rape. Some things are not, like forgetting to give someone a phone message or a letter.
- There’s noting worse than a “fast girl” or a high school dropout.
- There’s always a chance your separated or divorced parents will get back together.
- You could have upwards of three doppelgangers out in the world. Most of them are evil.
- No matter how many times you cheat on your boyfriend, he will always want you back.
- Don’t do drugs. Ever.
- If you date Jessica, there’s roughly a 70 percent chance you’ll end up dead.
- Teenagers love discos and old movies.
- Very few men have a problem with dating a 16-year-old girl.
- Deafness, blindness, and paralysis can be cured.
- Identical twins run in families. Never mind what science says.
- Always be yourself. Unless it’ll keep you from being popular.
- Police are horrible. Solve all crimes and go into all dangerous situations by yourself.
- And finally, the Wakefield twins are prettier, smarter, more talented, more charming, and just plain better than you in every way. Kneel before them in awe.
'90s Flashback 
Rocky said,
March 19, 2014 at 3:46 pm
I am slowly catching up, reading all your archives, and had to comment here. Your list is perfect. May I also suggest:
– Boys will never, ever date a fat girl. If she loses weight, though, she can probably get a boyfriend.
– Boys will also never, ever date a girl with glasses. If she starts wearing contacts, though, she will instantly be beautiful and guys will all of a sudden realize it and flock to her side.
– It’s normal to invite your teachers to parties, and it’s normal for them to attend.
– If you suspect a crime, even a violent one, investigate it yourself for a while. Don’t involve the authorities.
– It’s possible to fall in love within a few hours of meeting someone.
– It’s normal for a high school to have a dance every weekend, and to have at least two proms in a year.