August 6, 2013
What I Learned from Sweet Valley High
Reader Catherine suggested that I write a post about everything I learned from reading SVH. I thought it was a good idea, and a nice way to wrap up the series. So here’s what I learned about an ’80s/’90s YA series about identical twins, one good and one evil (or sometimes both evil). Feel free to add your own in the comments:
- Identical twins may look the same, but they actually have differences! Sometimes a lot of differences!
- It’s okay to date your sister’s ex-boyfriend…or your sister’s current boyfriend.
- Some things are forgivable, like attempted rape. Some things are not, like forgetting to give someone a phone message or a letter.
- There’s noting worse than a “fast girl” or a high school dropout.
- There’s always a chance your separated or divorced parents will get back together.
- You could have upwards of three doppelgangers out in the world. Most of them are evil.
- No matter how many times you cheat on your boyfriend, he will always want you back.
- Don’t do drugs. Ever.
- If you date Jessica, there’s roughly a 70 percent chance you’ll end up dead.
- Teenagers love discos and old movies.
- Very few men have a problem with dating a 16-year-old girl.
- Deafness, blindness, and paralysis can be cured.
- Identical twins run in families. Never mind what science says.
- Always be yourself. Unless it’ll keep you from being popular.
- Police are horrible. Solve all crimes and go into all dangerous situations by yourself.
- And finally, the Wakefield twins are prettier, smarter, more talented, more charming, and just plain better than you in every way. Kneel before them in awe.