August 11, 2013

BH90210 6.13, Courting: Gossip Girl

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 12:56 pm by Jenn

"Dear Diary: Today I was awesome. Just like yesterday. Tomorrow, I plan to be even more awesome. Ha ha, like that's possible!"

“Dear Diary: Today I was awesome. Just like yesterday. Tomorrow, I plan to be even more awesome. Ha ha, like that’s possible!”

Summary: Kelly and Colin take Erin to eat at the Peach Pit before Kelly goes to court to support Donna. David thinks he should skip the trial and look after his sister, but Valerie’s sure she’ll be fine with Colin. Brandon and Susan arrive, and Valerie tells David that Brandon and Kelly hooked up while Susan and Colin were out of town for Thanksgiving. David advises her to keep that to herself. The trial requires Donna and her adorable dress to skip a trip with the other Rose Court finalists, because apparently that’s STILL GOING ON. But hey, at least she has Joe.

Brandon reports on the trial for the Condor, using a tiny, very ’90s laptop. The gang arrives as Joe’s lawyer dodges questions from the press about how the trial will affect Joe’s football career. The prosecutor offers a deal that would give Joe a suspended sentence and community service. Joe won’t take it since he can’t play football if he pleads guilty. Valerie sees Brandon and Kelly chatting and tries to convince David that it means something. David accepts that Kelly spent the night at the Walshes’, but that doesn’t mean she and Brandon had sex.

Ray shows up for the trial with LuAnn, and there are some awkward looks exchanged with Donna. Felice also comes to support her daughter. Kelly calls Colin to check on Erin, who’s having fun painting with him in the park. (Colin has younger brothers, so he’s used to taking care of kids.) Well, at least she’s having fun until she gets sad about missing her family. Donna testifies in court, and like her deposition, her explanation of what happened on Halloween makes Joe sound like the instigator. Suddenly, the defense attorney remembers how to lawyer, and the truth about Ray’s violent behavior comes out.

Brandon tells Steve that Colin got up early that morning to practice, even though he might not be allowed to play football anymore. Steve wants to take bets on the outcome of the trial, but Brandon has to remain impartial. Colin continues doing art with Erin, this time painting her portrait. She’s slowly turning into a handful. Brandon calls Susan to discuss his story, and she tells him the AP wants to pick it up, since he can get to the defendant. However, Joe’s lawyer doesn’t want him talking to the press.

Joe testifies, but has to admit that Ray didn’t injure Donna – in fact, Ray was the only person hurt. LuAnn’s all smug. Valerie is next called to the stand, which Kelly finds funny, since Valerie hardly ever helps other people. Val testifies as a witness to Ray and Donna’s fight in Palm Springs. After court, the gang goes to the Walshes’ house for dinner; Steve wants a celebration, but David doesn’t want to jump the gun. Valerie tells Brandon that she knows they hooked up on Thanksgiving. He basically tells her to stop talking before he ditches her as a friend.

Joe practices again the next morning, and Brandon meets him there to try to discuss the trial. Joe is extremely optimistic, saying that everything happens for a reason. He’s sure that things will work out in his favor. Everyone returns to court, and Donna’s nervous, but Felice thinks that Valerie’s testimony tipped the scales in Joe’s favor. Brandon corners Ray to plead with him to stop making himself out to be the victim, since the real victim is Donna. He needs to tell the truth and get the trial to end.

Donna is surprised to be recalled to the stand and questioned about the incident in Palm Springs. The prosecutor gets her to admit that she lied in her hospital admission form, saying that she fell. Since she lied to protect her former boyfriend, maybe she’s lying now to protect her new boyfriend. Donna feels horrible for possibly hindering Joe’s freedom, but he doesn’t blame her. Colin’s still on Erin duty, and Valerie finds it impressive, considering…

The next time Colin sees Kelly, he accuses her of cheating on him with Brandon. She admits to spending the night at the Walshes’, but nothing else. Colin doesn’t believe her, and the fact that he believes Valerie instead is pretty ridiculous. Through this whole fight, Erin has been in the bathroom, getting ready for a bath, so of course she falls into the tub and almost drowns. Colin gives her CPR and revives her.

Susan is so super-proud of her boyfriend on his first syndicated story. He’s totally going to be the next Edward R. Murrow because he’s smart and talented and can cook a perfect soufflé and his breath always smells like daisies. Also, he’s honest. Brandon decides to beat Valerie to the punch by telling Susan that Kelly spent the night at his house, but nothing happened. He didn’t sleep with Kelly because of his feelings for Susan. She’s not sure he’s telling the complete truth. Now that Colin’s saved Erin, he somehow no longer cares about what may or may not have happened between Kelly and Brandon, so they’re good.

Back to court for the third day of the trial. Kelly blasts Valerie for spreading gossip, warning that her behavior will get her in trouble one day. Ray is cross-examined, and poor Felice and Dr. Martin have to listen to him lie that he never hurt Donna. By which he means not on purpose. He says that if he ever hurt her, it was only because he loved her. Joe’s lawyer gets Ray to admit what really happened on Halloween. Now LuAnn isn’t so smug anymore. The case is quickly dismissed.

The prosecutor offers to put Ray in jail if Donna will testify against him. Instead, Donna tells Ray about the offer and just says he needs to try harder in his next relationship. Um, what? Brandon goes home to finish up his story, and Valerie admits that she told Colin about Thanksgiving. She asks forgiveness, claiming that she doesn’t gossip to hurt people. He basically tells her what Donna told Ray: “Don’t do it again.”

Speaking of Ray, he comes by the house to thank Brandon for setting him straight. Because Brandon is awesome and perfect and a hero, and if he’d been at the beach apartment when Erin almost drowned, he would have saved her in one breath, then flown her to the hospital like Superman. And when she got back, he would have baked a chocolate cake for her and rented out Disneyland so she could ride on all the rides as much as she wanted. Anyway, Ray’s going to leave town.

The day of the Rose Court final announcement, the gang gathers in Pasadena and discusses how Steve’s been taking bets. He may or may not have gotten a girl’s mother to bet against her. Donna’s friend Lisa is crowned Rose Queen, and though the gang is disappointed that Donna didn’t win, Donna’s thrilled just to be there. Joe thinks she would have done better if she hadn’t been distracted by the trial. Donna tells him and her parents that she wouldn’t change anything. Then we end on Brandon finishing his story, because it’s ALWAYS ABOUT BRANDON.

Thoughts: Of course Brandon saves the day. OF COURSE.

I think Erin may have been aged, probably because they needed someone to have conversations with Colin. She’s…not very good, though. Her eyes are open when Colin starts to give her CPR! Also, I think she might have fake eyelashes.

I used to proofread legal transcripts for a living, which gave me the ability to spot believable courtroom scenes, and the ones in this episode are believable (unlike Donna’s deposition in the last episode). There’s one big screw-up, though: At the end of the trial, the judge dismisses the jury…but there was no jury. Oops!

Thanks for being a completely useless Greek chorus, Steve and Clare. Keep up the great work!

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