September 22, 2013

BH90210 6.22, All This and Mary Too: World’s Most Boring Episode

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 12:42 pm by Jenn

Yes, David, you are the mack daddy, in your plaid flannel

Yes, David, you are the mack daddy, in your plaid flannel

Summary: Kelly’s drug problem is now public knowledge among the gang, and she’s in the hospital for rehab. David feels bad that he wasn’t there for her, but she points out that she shut everyone out. Colin visits and tells Kelly that he’s been clean for a week. He thinks they can stay clean together; she doesn’t need rehab. Kelly knows they’re bad for each other and need to break up. Methinks Colin’s week of sobriety isn’t going to last past the seven days.

David, Clare, and Susan go to the Walshes’ in preparation for a snowboarding trip with Brandon and Steve. This appears to be the first time David and Valerie have talked since their split. He thinks they can be friends, but she disagrees. She’s sitting out the snowboarding trip so they don’t have to spend time together. Susan’s competitive with Brandon, which is interesting, since he’s originally from a snow-filled state. I feel bad that David has to be the fifth wheel all weekend.

Jackie visits Kelly in rehab just as she’s getting a roommate named Tara. Jackie thinks this is a good thing for Kelly. The snowboarding members of the gang arrive at Mammoth Mountain, and now I feel bad for the couples, since it looks like David’s going to mope all weekend. Susan and Clare meet a girl named Mary who needs a place to stay, and they decide to fix him up with David. Kelly meets Tara and tries to comfort her when she cries.

Steve thinks a girl at the ski lodge is checking him out, but he’ll stick with Clare and set the girl up with David. This girl is also named Mary. (Fortunately, this one’s Australian, so it’s easy to tell them apart.) “I wish I had a friend like me,” Steve says. “So do I,” Brandon replies. Back in Beverly Hills, Donna sees a news report about a treatment that enables athletes with Joe’s heart condition to keep playing sports. She makes some phone calls, but Joe doesn’t think anyone can help him.

Susan’s still taunting Brandon about how she’s a better skier, and Clare and Steve probably shouldn’t let them go off alone, or Susan might not come back. Colin and Valerie wind up at the Peach Pit together, both suddenly single and without weekend plans. She invites him to the house for dinner. On the mountain, there is skiing and competition. In Beverly Hills, Colin’s bored and decides to go to the Walshes’ early. Then there’s more skiing, this time in a restricted area.

Donna visits Kelly (bringing her a toy parrot that imitates voices) and assures her that her behavior while she was using is forgiven. Tara accidentally interrupts their conversation and runs off. The toy parrot starts acting up, so Donna brings back the “damn bird” catchphrase. David’s feeling less mopey, just in time for him to meet both Marys. He doesn’t seem interested in either of them.

Brandon and Susan are so into their competition that they don’t realize they’ve skied into a very bad part of the mountain. Susan hurts her leg, conveniently just as a storm moves in. Valerie and Colin’s evening together begins, and they bore me by talking about the first time they met. On the mountain, David and Clare bore me by talking about the Marys. Brandon blames Susan for getting them stuck outside in a blizzard. At least she brought brandy with her.

At the beach apartment, Donna has dinner with her father and asks him about the procedure she heard about. Dr. Martin says it’s experimental and won’t be covered by insurance. It’s also a long shot that Joe would be able to get into the study. He thinks Donna should listen to Joe and stop pursuing the procedure. Donna refuses, so Dr. Martin quickly backs down and agrees to help her get in touch with the doctor running the study.

Colin and Valerie are boring some more, then finally start making out, which we all knew they would do eventually. On the mountain, search teams go out to find Brandon and Susan, but they might have to fend for themselves for the night. Tara has a nightmare, and Kelly bonds with her by talking about her own dreams. Brandon and Susan try to stay awake, even though having one of them die is the only thing that could make this episode even slightly interesting.

Donna and Joe go to church so Donna can pray that Joe will have the heart procedure. He thinks this is a dumb idea, but she reminds him that he’s always talking about his faith, so why not pray for his health? After she prays, Joe admits that that was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him. The search teams are about to call things off for the night when one of them finds Susan and Brandon. Yay, anticlimaxes!

Valerie wakes up alone the next morning, which is a surprise, and agrees to have breakfast with Colin. Kelly and Tara go to an art-therapy class and learn more about each other. Tara’s originally from Colorado and ran away when she was 14. Her parents don’t know she’s in rehab, and she doesn’t know where they are. The ski trippers return to Beverly Hills and tell Nat that Silver hit it off with both Marys. In fact, he’s still with them on the mountain. I think we’re supposed to care.

Thoughts: Seriously, such a boring episode. NOTHING HAPPENED. I wanted someone to at least have a run-in with that monster from SkiFree.

Colin looks too good for a guy who supposedly just quit cocaine cold turkey.

I love how the gang says they’re going on a snowboarding trip, but no one actually snowboards. Just call it a ski trip, guys.

Brandon: “It’s a myth that alcohol is good for you when you’re cold.” Susan: “Yes, but if I drink enough, I won’t care anymore.” Heh.

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