October 12, 2013
Party of Five 3.12, Desperate Measures: Worst Road Trip Ever
Summary: Claudia can’t open a jar. I hope Lacey Chabert’s agent feels proud of himself. Charlie’s is that he’s going to Chicago to see Kirsten. This means Julia’s in charge of Claudia and Owen, which is probably a bad idea. Charlie isn’t sure when he’ll be coming back, which is an even worse idea. When Sam comes over to work, Julia gives him a mix tape (adorable) of songs that include the word “roof.” He awkwardly asks her out, which distracts her from Claudia, who doesn’t feel well. Julia accepts Sam’s invitation to go skiing, which I guess means Claudia’s now in charge of Owen.
Bailey’s wrestling much better, and I don’t just mean with his alcohol issues. In fact, Coach Russ is using him as an example of how much you can accomplish if you work hard. He tells the team that for the next three days before a big meet, they can only drink water, no alcohol. Charlie arrives in Chicago, but Ellie doesn’t want him there; Gene’s out of town and she’s having enough trouble handling Kirsten on her own. Except when Kirsten shows up, she seems fine, and very happy to see Charlie.
Sarah and Bailey are somehow still together. She tells him that her parents have given her separate billing on their shared credit card, which means she can make purchases and pay for them without her parents knowing. What this really means is that she can use the card to rent a hotel room and try to have sex with Bailey again. He uses wrestling as an excuse to stay abstinent before the next meet. Julia asks Claudia to watch Owen while she goes skiing, but Claudia’s feeling really sick now and refuses. Julia refuses her refusal.
Bailey goes home cranky, and Callie guesses that it’s because he and Sarah had yet another fight. He doesn’t want to discuss it with her, of all people. He’s also annoyed because there’s no beer; she says he drank it all. (Red flag! Red flag!) Callie calls him out for either treating her badly or wanting her in bed, with no in between. He ignores her and goes out to buy beer. In Chicago, Kirsten tells Charlie that she’s been doing better since she started a new medication about a month ago. He wonders why she didn’t tell him before now. She says she didn’t want to jinx things.
The next day, Charlie and Kirsten hang out downtown, talking about his family. She’s definitely doing a lot better, and he enjoys seeing her smile. Sarah goes to Bailey’s wrestling practice to see him, but he’s skipped it. Julia’s late picking Owen up from daycare because she was shopping for ski clothes. This means she misses a phone call from a doctor letting her know that Julia has been admitted to the hospital with appendicitis. When Julia gets to the hospital, she learns that Claudia had emergency surgery without anyone’s authorization since no one in the family could be reached. And now Claudia doesn’t want to see her.
Kirsten tells Charlie that she’s ready to go back to San Francisco with him. She’s so ready that she wants them to drive there tonight. Charlie’s too happy to think that there’s anything strange about the request, especially since Kirsten doesn’t want to see her mother first. Sarah goes to Bailey’s apartment and finds him hungover from a drinking binge. She worries that he’s out of sorts because of her, but he swears it’s not. Sarah points out that he said he wasn’t supposed to drink or have sex; if he can do one, then why not the other? “I did both,” Bailey admits, coming clean about Callie.
Kirsten calls Ellie to let her know she’s going back to San Francisco. Ellie tries to talk her out of it, saying Kirsten’s doctor doesn’t think she’s well enough for something like that. Kirsten hangs up on her, then tells Charlie that Ellie’s okay with it. Callie wakes Bailey up to tell him that Claudia’s in the hospital; he turned the answering machine down and didn’t get Julia’s message. He’s still really hungover, so Callie takes him to the hospital. When he arrives, Claudia will only talk to him, not Julia.
Sarah comes to the hospital with flowers, having heard about Claudia’s surgery from Julia, who called her when she was trying to reach Bailey. She runs into Callie and tears into her for sleeping with Bailey. Then when Bailey appears, Sarah gives him the flowers and leaves. Charlie and Kirsten drive all day, reaching Nebraska; he wants to stop for the night, but she’s eager to keep going. (She’s manic, Charlie. Learn the signs.)
Bailey to Sarah’s place, but she still doesn’t want to talk to him since she thinks he’s going to break up with her. Instead, he desperately declares his love for her and invites her to hate him. She admits that she does, and she wants to hurt him, but she still loves him. Charlie and Kirsten finally stop at a motel for the night, and she’s not quite as happy as she was before. She insists that she’s fine, but Charlie’s starting to realize that this was a bad idea. He wakes up in the middle of the night to find Kirsten sitting in a chair, crying, like she used to in San Francisco. She tells him she left too soon and needs to go back to Chicago.
Sam goes skiing without Julia, who’s staying at the hospital with Claudia even though Claudia won’t talk to her. Claudia hears her on the phone, admitting to feeling horrible, and finally talks to her. Bailey tells Callie that he and Sarah aren’t breaking up, so their hookups have to stop. Callie notes that the last time he said that was right before they hooked up again. She tells him he’s not worth all the drama. (Dude, seriously.)
Just before they’re about to leave for Chicago, Kirsten tells Charlie that she’s always tried to defend him in therapy, but her therapist eventually got her to see that she can’t be with him. She’s never been able to fully get past him leaving her on their wedding day. Every time she looks at him, that’s what she sees. Back in San Francisco, Julia and Claudia are sisterly again, even making plans to go swimming together. Sam visits, and Julia tells him that since she sometimes has to take care of Claudia and Owen, she may have to cancel plans. He’s okay with it, and even thinks Julia’s awesome for being so responsible.
Charlie returns Kirsten to Chicago, then decides to leave right away. Ellie blasts him for putting Kirsten through something difficult. He doesn’t want to stick around for another round of Ellie Hates Charlie, so he leaves without his things. Bailey and Sarah, on the other hand, are doing okay. Charlie comes home to an empty house and cries.
Thoughts: This episode title makes no sense. It should have been the title of the previous episode.
Salingers, I will adopt Owen and take him off your hands, since apparently no one cares enough to make sure a competent person is in charge of him.
Was Claudia admitted to the hospital from school? Wouldn’t Julia have been contacted at school? That whole plot device doesn’t hold together. How long was she out shopping, anyway? I would think that if no one from the family could be contacted, Claudia would have asked for Ross.
Callie appears to be the only person on this show who does schoolwork.
So after all that, Sarah’s just okay with Bailey cheating on her? We didn’t get to see any discussion other than her saying she still loves him. She didn’t even wait a day before she took him back! Come on, girl.