October 20, 2013
BH90210 6.26, Flirting with Disaster: Blame Canada
Summary: At the beach apartment, Tara listens to Kelly’s outgoing answering machine message multiple times. Because she’s crazy. When Kelly comes home from a date with Greg, Tara greets her excitedly. Because she’s crazy. Then she imitates Kelly’s answering machine message. Because she’s – well, you get it.
At the Peach Pit, Brandon, Susan, Steve, Clare, Donna, and Joe packs up for a spring break camping trip. After some driving, they take a pit stop and spot some women fixing a flat tire. The guys immediately become chivalrous. The girls are Canadian and also looking to camp out. The guys tell them where they’re going, and Joe blurts out that they have dates, disappointing Brandon and Steve.
A man shows up at Colin’s loft and introduces himself to Valerie as Colin’s father. He’s blind and cranky. Kelly and Tara hang out at the Peach Pit, discussing Kelly and Greg’s bowling date that night. Kelly invites Tara to tag along, but Tara doesn’t want to be a fifth wheel. David arrives and Kelly asks him to invite Tara on a bowling double date with her and Greg. She feels bad for leaving Tara at home every night while she goes out.
The campers arrive at their destination, and surprise, surprise, the Canadian girls are also there. The Beverly Hills girls are all, “Yeah, the guys belong to us.” Valerie tries to be a good hostess to Mr. Robbins, who tells her that he and Colin aren’t close. In fact, they haven’t seen each other in five years. Colin isn’t thrilled when he comes home to see his father there, but he doesn’t make him leave.
The Canadian girls can’t set up their tent, so the guys are chivalrous again. “They’ll be back,” Susan assures Donna. “Or they’ll be dead,” Clare adds. Tara thinks her date with David might lead to more, so she asks Kelly how many dates she waits before having sex. Kelly doesn’t answer, but says that she and Greg are just about there. When she leaves the room, Tara continues her rehearsals to become the new Kelly.
The double date goes well, though Tara makes Greg a little uncomfortable by being touchy-feely. The Canadian girls’ tent is missing pieces, it seems, so the guys spend all evening trying to help them while their girlfriends mope. The Beverly Hills girls invite the Canadian girls to share their tents, leaving the guys to fend for themselves. Joe thinks they should apologize, not like he has anything to lose since he wasn’t going to have sex anyway. Steve refuses.
Tara tells Greg that Kelly really likes him but isn’t ready for a new relationship. That leads him to cut the date short, though David’s the only one who thinks something’s off. Mr. Robbins tells Valerie about losing his sight in Vietnam; somehow this leads to a fight between Colin and his father. Colin tries to kick Mr. Robbins out, but Valerie feels bad for him and invites him to spend the night.
Greg takes Kelly and Tara home, then tells Kelly that he thinks they’re moving too quickly. She thinks he should have thought this through more before he ever asked her out. (Seriously.) Tara’s proud of herself. Brandon, Steve, and Joe spend the night in their minivan, then wake up to declare war on their girlfriends. They refuse to eat the breakfast the girls made and vow to feed themselves.
Kelly now thinks Greg might have been right about not rushing things. Tara pretends to be all supportive, then orders two bouquets of flowers. One is for Kelly, and the other is for Greg with a note from Kelly telling him not to call her. Valerie encourages Colin to tell Mr. Robbins that he’s going to jail, since he needs a support system. Colin thinks that’s a stupid idea – his father’s there for something, probably money, so he won’t care.
Valerie tries to broker a truce between father and son, since at least Colin’s father is still alive, but Colin wants to hash everything out right now. He demands to know why Mr. Robbins came to visit. Mr. Robbins explains that he knows about Colin’s legal problems and came to offer his support. Colin rejects it, so Mr. Robbins leaves. Valerie threatens to leave, too, if Colin doesn’t do something, so father and son make up. Wake me when this storyline is over.
Kelly goes to see Greg at the hospital, but he doesn’t want to talk to her. Steve, Joe, and Brandon try to fish for their breakfast, which doesn’t go well. The Canadian girls come across them and mention that their girlfriends have made some new friends. Specifically guy friends. Brandon tries to convince Steve and Joe not to go back to the campsite and chase the new guys away. That doesn’t work.
Tara does her fake-supportive thing again, playing dumb when Kelly gets her flowers and a note from “Greg” breaking things off. Colin, Mr. Robbins, blah. Colin will totally be okay! He just has to get through this difficult part of his life! Once Mr. Robbins goes back home, Colin and Valerie are boring some more. At the campsite, the guys spy on the girls, who didn’t actually befriend any guys. Everyone makes up. I beg for the last hour of my life back.
Thoughts: Mr. Robbins: “I heard that Colin’s doing really well out here.” Who the heck did you hear that from?”
Margo would laugh at Tara’s lameness but admire her for befriending Kelly before trying to replace her.
Steve, re: the tent: “We can’t get it up.” Susan: “I’ll bet.” Thank you, Susan, for making the joke I was pretending I’m too classy to make. (Actually, I would have gone with “that’s what she said,” which doesn’t really make sense.)
Brandon, your “sleeping in a van down by the river” also doesn’t make sense since there’s no river. If I liked you, I’d give you an A for effort, but I don’t like you, so just shut up.
Why does the show want so badly for me to care about Colin?