October 27, 2013

BH90210 6.27, Strike the Match: The Last Person On Earth I Want to Be With

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 5:03 pm by Jenn

Is that really an appropriate outfit for a barren wasteland where you have to battle mutated demons to stay alive?

Is that really an appropriate outfit for a barren wasteland where you have to battle mutated demons to stay alive?

Summary: Tara’s still staying at the beach apartment, and Donna and Clare are sick of it. In fact, Clare’s so sick of it that she’s going to stay with Steve until Tara’s gone. She admits that Tara creeps her out a little. She and Donna tell Kelly that it’s time for Tara to get her own place. Kelly’s on Tara’s side, telling her she can stay even when Tara realizes that the other girls want her out. At CU, Steve bugs Brandon to tell Susan that he might take a summer job at a newspaper in Boston. Susan and Brandon are supposed to take a trip together, and the job would make Brandon have to cancel it.

David’s been hired to shoot a music video for some group called Powerman 5000. He’s nervous because he only has a short time to work before school’s over and Powerman goes on tour. Donna agrees to help out. Joe’s unhappy but pretends not to be. Tara and Kelly go to an NA meeting, and Tara tells the group that having a friend has made her life a ton better. Colin’s still working on the mural at the After Dark? Huh? Anyway, David runs into him there and they posture a little before David asks Valerie if he can use the club for the video shoot. Val tells Colin to behave himself.

Susan starts talking about how much she’s looking forward to her and Brandon’s summer trip (which sounds like a cross-country drive), so he finally mentions the job in Boston. He downplays it like he doesn’t plan on accepting it. Clare basically moves in with Steve, and things are really good between them right now, so that will definitely work out well. Tara decides that she wants a new hairstyle, so Kelly offers to get her an appointment at her salon. Then she pushes Tara to work on moving out of the beach apartment. Tara begs her not to kick her out.

The two run into Colin and Valerie outside the After Dark, and everyone is icily polite. As they leave, Kelly tells Tara that she hates Val. Tara reminds her that she’s better off with Colin, so Val can have him. Then she says she hates anyone Kelly hates, and she hopes Valerie dies. David and Donna work on the video, but so far they haven’t even agreed on a theme. Since the song is called “Strike the Match” (hey! Just like the episode title!), Donna suggests that they have all the band members strike lots of matches. Yeah, someone’s run out of ideas. She’s sick of David being mean to her and tells him he’s the last person on earth she wants to hang out with. David gets inspired.

Brandon, Susan, Steve, Clare, and Joe study at the Walshes’ house for the GRE, even though most of them are juniors. Susan admires Clare’s shawl, which is one of the few things she has that belonged to her late mother. Tara sneaks into Kelly’s room in the middle of the night and takes her keys. While David and Donna finalize plans for the video, Tara goes to Colin’s building and keys “Die Val” into the side of Valerie’s car.

At the Walsh house, Clare heads off to school, asking Steve to do some of her laundry. Susan wonders if she has a place in Brandon’s future, and if she should include him in her own future plans. Brandon wrongly takes this as an ultimatum, like Susan’s saying that if he takes the job in Boston, they’re over. David and the band get ready for the video shoot at the After Dark, but the drummer’s girlfriend, who was supposed to star (as the last woman on earth) is a no-show. David assigns Donna to take her place.

Valerie finds Tara’s vandalism and freaks out that someone actually wants her dead. Tara goes to collect some of her things from a guy who was keeping them for it. Steve gets Clare’s laundry and realizes that he accidentally washed (and ruined) her mother’s shawl. Kelly and Tara stop by the video shoot, where Donna is now dressed like an apocalyptic hooker. Colin shows up to glare at David, I guess thinking he was behind the keying.

Valerie, however, thinks it was Kelly, and warns that she told the police about their rivalry. Before they can take it outside (to pull each other’s hair, I guess), they’re alerted to a fight in the After Dark. Colin and David are trying to pound on each other, but some guys keep them separated. Valerie announces that the shoot is over. Brandon meets with the guy who wants him at the Boston Globe, so we get to hear all about how awesome Brandon is. Now, though, the offer comes with the possibility of a job after Brandon graduates.

Kelly goes home angry about the Valerie situation and sorry that David has to be stuck in the middle. Tara talks about how she used to love photography, so Kelly offers to get her access to CU’s darkroom. Tara thinks Kelly and Brandon still have feelings for each other. She unpacks her things, which include a gun. The music video moves to a warehouse, and Donna dances in a way that would give Felice a heart attack if she saw her. Joe isn’t much happier to see his girlfriend practically naked and gyrating for her ex-boyfriend.

Brandon tells Susan about the job offer coming with his summer internship. Then he shows her what he calls the smallest ball of twine in the world, in preparation for their summer trip, when they’ll see the world’s largest one. He’s giving up the summer internship, which, I’m sorry, is a horrible idea. At the Walshes’ house, Steve reluctantly tells Clare that he ruined her mother’s shawl. She’s upset but knows that Steve wouldn’t do anything to hurt her intentionally. She thinks her mother would approve of her choice in boyfriends.

At the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna discuss Valerie’s keying; neither has any idea who was behind it. Tara returns from the salon with blond hair and Kelly’s hairstyle. Donna tells Kelly that Tara wants to be her. Apparently this hadn’t occurred to Kelly before. She needs to start paying attention.

Thoughts: There’s actually a group called Powerman 5000? Doesn’t that sound more like a rapper?

Steve has Brenda’s old room, and his walls are violently purple.

David, Colin, neither of you is the least bit intimidating.

It looks like after the apocalypse, we’ll all be wearing pleather bras and hot pants, so start working now to make sure you have an Armageddon-ready body!

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