November 19, 2013

SVU #8, Home for Christmas: Meet the Parents

Posted in books tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 8:58 pm by Jenn

Bryan, go away. You aren't even in this book

Bryan, go away. You aren’t even in this book

Summary: Steven is still unconscious in Mike’s kitchen, while Mike is oblivious (and also a little woozy from the gas) in the other room. Mike miraculously gets some feeling back in his legs and manages to save Steven’s life. As soon as Steven’s okay, the two of them are on the road to being friends. Mike has done a 180 and wants to be a better person. Also, he wants Jessica back. He even gets her a new engagement ring.

The first semester of the twins’ freshman year is almost over, so it’s time to make plans for Christmas break. Tom has no family, and he and Elizabeth can’t go five minutes without being all over each other, so she invites him to come to Sweet Valley for the holidays. There’s also going to be a high school reunion, and Liz wants to show off her new boyfriend. The Wakefield siblings head home with Tom and Billie in tow, agreeing not to tell their parents anything they’ve been up to in the last three months. Ned and Alice have no idea that Jessica got married and got an annulment, or that Steven was arrested.

Wackiness ensues, with Tom being klutzy and embarrassing himself all over the Wakefields’ house. Elizabeth sleeps with Tom on the pullout couch; their clothes stay on, but she’s starting to think about turning over that V card. Ned almost catches the lovebirds together, but Liz hides under the couch.

Thanks to her lack of personal-life drama (for once) and her sudden commitment to studying, Jessica does really well on her finals. She’s also getting closer to James, and she invites him to the reunion. But then Mike resurfaces, showing up at the Wakefields’ unexpectedly and asking her to take him back. For once in her life, Jessica makes an amazingly mature decision: Though she loves the idea of being married, she knows she’s too young, so she turns Mike down.

Then Jessica takes another mature step by telling her parents everything that’s happened in the past three months. Ned and Alice are furious that their kids lied, especially Jessica, who got married and never said anything about it. But they’re over it by the next morning, so it’s kind of a waste of time.

The last time we saw Todd and Alex, they were drunk and making out. When they wake up together the next morning, they’re hungover and don’t remember what happened. The hickies on Alex’s neck and the scratches on Todd’s back indicate that there was some nookie. That’s right, folks – Todd is no longer a virgin, and his first time WASN’T with Elizabeth. And also, now we know some things about Alex that we wished we didn’t.

Todd’s still in love with Elizabeth, and so screwed up over sleeping with Alex, being suspended from the basketball team, and losing the love of his life that he decides to drop out of SVU. Alex asks him to go the reunion, fantasizing about wowing everyone with her new personality and hot new guy. She’s a lot more mature about all the Elizabeth stuff, but only briefly. Todd and Liz have a conversation about where things stand between them, but knowing that she and Tom are happy together doesn’t make Todd love her any less.

The reunion rolls around, and for some reason Bruce is there, even though he was a year ahead of the twins in high school. It’s really only so he can keep bugging Lila about flying planes. They hang out together and actually enjoy each other’s company a little. I smell a love match! Meanwhile, Todd and Elizabeth try to make each other jealous by making out with their respective dates. Then he asks her to dance, which starts a face-off brewing. Tom doesn’t want Todd dancing with Elizabeth, and Alex doesn’t want Elizabeth to get her claws back into her ex.

While Jessica and Lila make bets on whether there will be violence (which is probably what I’d be doing if I were there), things get tenser. Todd gets controlling, trying to keep Elizabeth from going off to find Tom. Tom returns to “rescue” her, which leads to a fistfight between the guys. Todd is no match for Tom (who, remember, used to play football), and he ends up unconscious. Elizabeth awesomely tells Alex that Todd is her problem now, then leaves to go make up (and make out) with Tom.

In boring plot news: Liz gets some creepy phone calls, mostly likely from William. She also gets a broken angel with a note saying, “If I can’t have you, no one will.” She’s not nearly as freaked out as she should be.

Thoughts: Why is SVH having a reunion? They only graduated six months ago!

Ned and Alice not knowing about Steven’s arrest is ridiculous. I’d be ticked, too, if my kids kept something like that from me.

“‘I mean, the doctors said I probably shouldn’t drive or operate heavy machinery….’ He glanced down at the steering wheel, pretending to be confused. ‘Uh-oh.'” Steven made a funny!

I refuse to believe that Elizabeth doesn’t have all of her Christmas presents bought and wrapped by Thanksgiving every year.

Ned: “Why did I even bother as a father?” Uh, you didn’t. You suck as a father. Why are you so surprised that your kids are screw-ups?

No one seems concerned that Olivia shows up at the reunion, so I guess they’re all cool with her being a zombie?



  1. catherine said,

    “Elizabeth sleeps with Tom on the pullout couch; their clothes stay on, but she’s starting to think about turning over that V card.”

    On the pull-out couch at your parents’ seems like the ideal place for that to happen.

    • Jenn said,

      These comments need a “like” button.

  2. Ramie said,

    My favorite part is Olivia showing up.
    I know continuity isn’t a big deal in Sweet Valley, but with weird phone calls and creepy presents at Christmastime, Elizabeth never once considers Margo as possibility? I mean the girl tried to kill her twice during the season, sure she was killed. But she was died once before and came back. If it was me, my first guess to creepy stuff happening around Christmas, would be the psycho that tried to kill me twice around Christmas season.

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