November 24, 2013

BH90210 6.31, You Say It’s Your Birthday, Part 1: Escape Routes

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 2:52 pm by Jenn

I want this cake for my birthday. I don't mean one with me in a car. I want this exact cake

I want this cake for my birthday. I don’t mean one with me in a car. I want this exact cake

Summary: Nat asks Valerie for a Colin update, but she doesn’t have any information. They have six days to find him or they’ll lose the Peach Pit and the After Dark. Valerie’s trying to get in touch with Jonesy to see if he can help. Kelly isn’t sympathetic to her problems; Val deserves what she’s getting for moving in on Colin. At a strip club, Colin meets up with a guy who can get him out of the country on a freighter in three days.

Susan packs up her office at the Condor in preparation for handing the paper over to someone else for the summer. She and Brandon plan to take a two-month road trip. There’s exposition about Steve’s upcoming birthday party, which will take place on the Queen Mary with lots of CU students in attendance. Yes, Prince Carl is paying for everything. Colin calls Claudia to try to get money that she supposedly owes him from their broken contract. Steve wants to help set up for his party, since it’s the least he can do to repay Carl. Clare warns that Carl will want a favor in return someday.

Kelly hangs out at the Walshes’, telling Brandon she’s not taking a date to Long Beach for the party. She plans to give Steve a bronzed pair of his own sneakers. (What?) After Kelly leaves, Valerie complains to Brandon that Kelly’s enjoying her Colin-related struggles too much. Jonesy calls her back to let her know that he’s out of the country but is going to send someone to help her out. By the way, he’s also tracked down Dylan – he’s in London. Brandon reveals that he’s probably not with Brenda, since she’s in Scotland, so Val may not be able to rub that in Kelly’s face.

Donna and David go to a meeting at MZA, where even their manager knows about Steve’s party. (Finally, the manager gets a name: Eric.) Donna offers to bring him along. David thinks Eric likes her, but Donna says he just wants to go hear the Goo Goo Dolls, who are playing at the party. Later, David finds their picture in Billboard magazine and decides they need to spend part of the weekend working, since they’re big deals now. Just before they leave for Long Beach, they get a package from Dylan with a birthday letter for Steve. Donna decides not to tell Kelly that it was sent from Brenda’s address in London.

On the Queen Mary, Eric makes sure his room is near Donna’s, so it looks like David’s right about him. Nat brings Joan along, even though she doesn’t feel well. Susan gets a phone message from D.C. but tries to make Brandon think it’s not a big deal that she’s getting calls from a woman who’s working on the president’s reelection campaign. Jonesy’s guy, FBI agent Richard Ballen, meets Valerie on the boat and assures her that he’ll find Colin.

Carl tells Susan that their mothers were on the Queen Mary‘s last trans-Atlantic crossing together. He can show her a picture after he finds it at home, and probably after she agrees to come visit him and sleep in his bed and marry him. Clare and Steve disagree over the fact that Carl’s making them come to a polo match, even though it’s Steve’s birthday. (Steve’s fine with it, but Clare thinks it’s dumb.) Valerie introduces Kelly to Ballen, and she manages to be helpful by mentioning that Colin might have gotten in touch with Claudia. Val just smirks because Colin was sleeping with Claudia while he was dating Kelly.

David advises Eric not to go after Donna too aggressively, since she just got out of a relationship. Eric interprets this to mean that David doesn’t think Donna likes Eric like that. Just as Eric goes to Donna’s room with champagne and a private dinner invitation, David calls to give her an excuse to leave. Donna’s grateful but invites Eric to dine with the gang anyway. Brandon makes a toast to Steve before David and Donna present Steve with a video highlighting moments from his life. It includes a message from Cindy and Jim, which is really sweet.

After Donna reads Dylan’s letter to Steve on the video, various people sing “Happy Birthday,” including Rush, Samantha, Ryan, Austin, Ms. Teasley, and Andrea. Then Andrea makes a surprise appearance in person. There’s drinking and dancing, and Carl heads off to find a missing Clare. Kelly asks David when he talked to Dylan, and he tells her they got the letter just before they left. He’s in London, and they decided not to tell her because she might get upset. Kelly says she’s not, and it was nice to hear from Dylan.

David spots Donna dancing with Eric and pays someone to call Eric away for a phone call. Donna appreciates the gesture. Valerie mopes by herself, but Ballen has good news: He got in touch with someone who recently spoke to Colin, and it sounds like Colin’s still in L.A. Joan still doesn’t feel well, so she and Nat call it an early night. Brandon asks Susan about the call from D.C., which she hasn’t heard more about yet.

Clare returns to the party, so I guess Carl didn’t try to seduce her while they were alone. Steve gets super-drunk, and Clare and Carl have to help him to bed. Carl tries to make his move (on Clare, not Steve, which would at least be interesting), but she’d rather stay with Steve. Eric wants alone time with Donna again, so she finally pulls out her trump card in hopes of getting him to back off: She tells him she’s a virgin. Eric immediately turns his attention to Kelly instead.

At breakfast the next morning, Andrea shows Kelly some pictures of Hannah, and they talk about how difficult the last year was for Kelly. Susan gets a fax from D.C. telling her that she’s been chosen to work on the ’96 campaign. Kelly now can’t get Eric to leave her alone, so Donna advises her to say she’s a virgin, too: “Worked for me!” Valerie invites Ballen to come with the gang to Carl’s polo match. Ballen’s trying to keep his distance, probably because that’s the only way he can keep from jumping Val’s bones, but she makes him come along.

Carl plays polo. It’s boring. Eric finds someone else to bug, though Kelly notes that they still have to spend the whole weekend together. Susan tells Brandon that she’s been offered a job as a youth advisor on Clinton’s campaign, but she’d have to drop out of school and start during the summer, so she’s not taking it. She doesn’t seem that confident that she’s made the right decision, though. More poloing. Steve tells Clare that Carl was in a bad mood earlier, and he wonders if something happened after he went to bed.

After the game, the gang has brunch together, and Steve toasts Carl. Ballen learns that Colin called Claudia from a harbor, so it stands to reason that he’s hanging around there with plans to hop a freighter. Eric asks Kelly out, but she tells him she’s a recovering addict whose last boyfriend is on the lam, so she’s not in a good place to date him right now. He doesn’t take the hint and puts his hand on her leg. Kelly forces him to get the hint by stabbing him in the leg with her fork.

Carl tells Steve straight out that he’s in love with Clare and wants the chance to tell her. Since Steve’s been downplaying their relationship, he thinks it’s reasonable. Basically, Clare gets to choose between the two of them. For some reason, Steve doesn’t punch him in the nose and tell him to back off.

Thoughts: The Goo Goo Dolls were one of my favorite bands in the ’90s. If Prince Carl had thrown me a birthday party where they played, I might be tempted to date him.

Donna, stay away from the self-tanner.

The Queen Mary just makes me think of Arrested Development (like so many things do).

I like Ballen. Can he stay?

“You won’t sleep with me? I’ll go after your best friend instead.” You’re a real charmer, Eric.

Kelly Taylor, you’re my hero.

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