December 1, 2013

BH90210 6.32, You Say It’s Your Birthday, Part 2: Long Way Down

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 12:36 pm by Jenn

Yay! (Oh, shut up)

Yay! (Oh, shut up)

Summary: Steve has just told Brandon about Prince Carl’s plan to make Clare choose between the two of them. I still don’t get why Steve didn’t just punch Carl in the face. Anyway, it’s time for the main event of the party weekend: a performance by the Goo Goo Dolls. They do “Long Way Down,” and the show gets to kill a few minutes. Meanwhile, Colin makes his final preparations before he hops a freighter to flee the country the next morning.

More Goo Goo Dolls, and now Eric the music guy has moved on to hitting on Andrea. Ballen briefly checks in with Valerie, who’s still about two seconds from jumping him. Susan leaves to make a phone call, and Brandon decides to take advantage of an empty room to go with her. She wants to give the people in D.C. her answer again. Andrea notices that Brandon is a little down and questions him. He’s all, “Women problems, amirite?” Shut up, Brandon.

Even more Goo Goo Dolls. Steve and Clare dance until Carl cuts in to tell Clare that he’s in love with her. He and Steve made “an agreement between gentlemen” to let her choose who she wants to be with. Clare takes offense and immediately blasts Steve for not seeing their relationship as something serious. He says he wanted to be fair, but she doesn’t want to be with him if he was willing to let Carl take her. Carl arrives, and finally, Steve punches him in the face. Clare’s upset, but shouldn’t she also be mad at Carl for interfering in her relationship?

Brandon goes to get Susan after she makes her phone call, quickly figuring out that she accepted the job in D.C. He’s justifiably mad because he turned down the job in Boston so they could spend the summer together. But whatever, he’s still a jerk. Eric flirts with Andrea some more, saying he’d like to offer her a job. She tells him she has a husband and a daughter, and isn’t interested in working for him since she wants to go to medical school. He doesn’t get the hint. Donna’s a little tipsy and invites David up to the deck for a walk.

Steve and Brandon complain about their wimmin, deciding to go to a bar to drink their problems away. David and Donna get drunker and consider making out. The moment passes, and instead, Donna pours her champagne over David’s head, just for the heck of it. Clare tends to Carl and his broken nose, admitting that she’s not sure what to do about her relationship. She asks if he threw the party for Steve so he could get closer to her. Carl’s still stuck on what Clare’s mom once said about the two of them getting married one day. He kisses her, but she leaves.

Valerie tells Nat that Colin might be hopping a freighter the next day, and Ballen is getting men in place to try to stop him. Little do they know that Colin is currently in the same strip club where Steve and Brandon have decided to get drunk. A guy complains about Steve and Brandon’s complaining, and after some squabbling, things almost get physical. Steve gets beaten up, and when other patrons join the fight, a stripper asks someone to call the police. In the middle of the chaos, Colin tries to run out, but Brandon spots him. He and Steve set off after Colin.

David and Donna wander back to one of their rooms, talking drunkenly about their former relationship. She admits that she still liked him even after he cheated. He’s sober enough to realize that they probably shouldn’t be sharing a bed right now. I guess Brandon and Steve didn’t catch Colin, because the next morning, they’re being let out of jail, having been arrested for the bar fight. Valerie and Kelly are also at the police station, and Ballen tells them that Colin didn’t board the freighter. He sends everyone back to the Queen Mary.

Colin learns of another freighter he can take, but he’ll have to pay another $10,000 to get on it. On the way back to the yacht, Steve spots him, and he and Brandon chase Colin again, this time through a shipyard. This goes on for, like, five minutes, and Valerie and Kelly help box Colin in. He ends up on the roof with Steve and Brandon, and police outside the building. So yay, this storyline is finally over! Even Valerie’s done with this doof. Ballen’s so happy that he invites Valerie to dinner. She and Kelly are civil to each other again, but I’m sure that won’t last.

Everyone heads back to the Queen Mary, arriving just as Andrea’s about to leave. Kelly comments that Brandon’s having a tough time, and Steve says they all are. Donna and David disagree. Brandon finds Susan staring out at the water moodily, and is the exact opposite of sympathetic or compassionate or warm. She urges him to come to D.C. with her, but he’s already decided to be a jerk, and he can’t change that now. (Yeah, yeah, double standard – I bet she would have been supportive if he’d taken the job in Boston. He’s being a whiny baby.)

Steve goes to find Clare, who spent the whole night trying to figure out what to do. She tells Carl that despite the problems she and Steve sometimes have, she wants to be with him. She wants them all to stay friends, though. Carl brings up what Clare’s mom said AGAIN, but Clare says that Steve is her prince. Said prince finds them together and blasts Carl for trying to move in on the woman he loves. Carl gracefully bows out, assuring Steve that he has nothing to be jealous about.

Remember how Joan’s been sick all weekend? She’s pregnant. She and Nat decide that Brandon should be the first to know…that they’re getting married. “We are?” Joan asks. Ballen goes to the After Dark with Valerie and tells her that he’s applying for a job in L.A. They finally kiss, but I’m pretty sure he never makes another appearance, so that was kind of a waste of chemistry. At the beach apartment, Donna and David wonder if it would be a mistake to get back together. They still love each other, so they decide to give it a shot.

Kelly drops by the Walshes’, because now that she and Brandon are both single, the show has to tease us that they might get back together. Kelly reports that Dylan and Brenda are living together, which Brandon already knew. She wonders if she and Brandon might someday have another chance, because she’d like one. No, Kelly, no!

Brandon’s still mad about her choosing herself instead of deciding between him and Dylan, but she points out that choosing one of them would have ruined their friendships. Brandon tells her that they shouldn’t rush into anything. Thank God! Kelly leaves, and Valerie comes in to ask if Brandon’s getting back together with her. He says no, but if Dylan and Brenda could find each other, anything can happen. (Huh?) “Not if I can help it,” Valerie says. But is she talking about Brandon or Dylan? I’m confused. No, wait, I don’t care.

Thoughts: You guys, I want David and Donna together and I’m not going to apologize for it.

Valerie and Ballen have more chemistry after two episodes than Brandon and Susan have had all season.

I’m just going to say that Julie Parrish (Joan) was 56 when this episode aired. And that’s all I’m going to say.

Six seasons down, four to go! Why is Brandon not gone yet?


  1. Ramie said,

    Is it that hard to get out of LA? With all the cars, taxis, buses, trains and hundreds of boats coming in and out of the city?

    • Jenn said,

      Yeah, I don’t know why he didn’t just take a bus to Mexico. I’d also love to know where he got the second $10,000.

  2. The guy at the bar who started the fight was Pauly Shore. I repeat… Pauly Shore.

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