December 22, 2013

BH90210 7.3, A Mate for Life: Shine Bright Like a Diamond

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 4:53 pm by Jenn

Way to go! You procreated! P.S. Donna, is that really appropriate attire for a maternity ward? Or anywhere, for that matter?

Way to go! You procreated! P.S. Donna, is that really appropriate attire for a maternity ward? Or anywhere, for that matter?

Summary: Brandon and Steve are at the airport to pick up Joan’s daughter, Lily, for Nat and Joan’s wedding. Yes, Joan, who’s pregnant, has a college-age daughter. Lily first attaches herself to Steve, then switches to Brandon when she finds out that Steve has a girlfriend. Donna and David run into each other outside the Peach Pit; David has all his stuff in his car and explains that he’s moving in with Mark. David and Donna were supposed to film the wedding, and though David doesn’t want to, Donna won’t let him back out.

Apparently it’s already two weeks from Joan’s due date, so the timeline in this series is all screwed up. Steve confirms that Lily made it into town; apparently she’s the only one of Joan’s three kids who could come to the wedding. In the After Dark, Valerie discusses with Kenny all the changes she plans to make once she has her loan. Ultimately, she wants to sell and make a profit. Kenny thinks she should hold on to it and go for a franchise.

Lily checks into the Bel Age Hotel and immediately strips to take a shower. Yeah, I’d say she wants Brandon. They talk about how she’s a dancer, supposedly a ballerina, but the way she spins around the bedpost in just her underwear gives a different impression. Kelly works at the AIDS hospice, where one of the patients does some magic tricks. One of the other patients complains about how cheerful the volunteers at the hospice are. David moves into Mark’s awesome house, suggesting that they use it as a video location, which would help them cover their rent.

The gang helps set up for the wedding (which is at the beach club), because why hire professionals when college students can do it for free? Steve tries to enlist Brandon to help him throw Nat a bachelor party, but Brandon has to keep an eye on Lily all weekend. Clare makes a remark about not wanting to get married, which leads to bickering between her and Steve, just like EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING IN THE WORLD DOES. Please kill me.

Valerie spots Kenny with his wife and young kids, and decides, for some reason, to introduce herself. Mrs. Bannerman admires Val’s tennis bracelet, which Kenny probably bought for her. Kenny questions why Val is being so friendly, but she points out that they supposedly have nothing to hide (after all, he told her that Mrs. Bannerman wouldn’t care if he dated someone else). Donna’s jealous when she sees how much fun David’s having at his new house, with his new hot friends.

Kelly chats with the magician patient, Jimmy, telling him that she’s not completely sure why she chose the hospice for her internship. He advises her to just do what she needs for her credits and not try to connect too much with the patients. She notes that he looks healthier than a lot of the other hospice patients. He tells her it’s one of his illusions. Jimmy’s much closer to the end of his life than anyone would expect.

Lily takes Brandon to what he thought was a regular old dancing club, but what’s actually a place where only the women dance. In little to no clothing. Yep, she’s a stripper. (And can I say, Lily Diamond? Perfect stripper name.) Brandon gets even more uncomfortable when they see Nat and Steve there. Lily doesn’t keep her profession much of a secret. Kelly and Jimmy chat more, this time about Nat and Joan’s wedding. Jimmy confides that he was married once, but he doesn’t want to talk about his husband right now. Kelly’s all, “We’re going to be BFFs!” Jimmy’s all, “You know I’m dying, right?”

Brandon escorts Lily back to her hotel room, assuring her that Nat will most likely keep quiet about her profession to Joan, since he’d have to admit that he was at a strip club. Brandon doesn’t know why Lily doesn’t just tell her mother what she does. I guess he doesn’t get why a mother might not want to hear that her daughter gets paid to take her clothes off for strangers. Lily’s happy that Brandon doesn’t judge her for being a stripper, and she’d like to express her gratitude by taking him to bed.

Steve discusses Clare’s anti-marriage stance with Valerie, as if anyone cares at all about this. They notice that Brandon didn’t come home the night before. Donna gets news that MZA has officially cut her and David loose. The beach apartment residents let Joan (who’s an overnight guest there) sleep in, but Nat gets up early and goes to work. Steve teases Brandon for scoring with Lily, as if he’s not jealous. The guys try to get Nat to shift from work mode to wedding mode. It’s really cheesy, and Steve manages to teleport from the counter area to the kitchen in two seconds.

Lily helps Joan get ready for the wedding, telling her mother that she really likes her stepfather-to-be. (Really, I think she just likes him because he’s not going to tell Joan that she’s a stripper.) Clare gets emotional seeing them together, since she won’t get to celebrate her own wedding day with her own mother. Joan tells her that her mom’s looking down on her with love, blah blah blah, can we please get on with things?

People start gathering for the ceremony, and Valerie mentions to Kelly that a) Brandon’s been spending a lot of time with Lily, and b) he didn’t come home the night before. Thanks, Val! You’re dating a married man! David claims he doesn’t care that MZA dropped him and Donna, since he can get a new contract somewhere else. She tells him she won’t be working with him again. The ceremony starts, but of course, as in any televised wedding where the bride is pregnant, Joan’s water breaks.

Joan is rushed to the hospital, but she refuses to deliver before she’s married. The minister marries them in the hospital hallway. Conveniently, the contractions stop long enough for Nat and Joan to say their vows. The baby’s born while the gang has the wedding reception in the waiting room. It’s a boy, and his name is Francesco, or Frankie for short. (If only they were giving him Joan’s last name – how cool would a kid named Frankie Diamond be?) Nat gives a speech about how he thought he would never have a family, but now he does, but the gang is also his family, and blah blah blah, the circle of life.

Clare gets upset and runs off, but Steve follows to try to get her to talk about what she’s feeling. He admits that weddings make him think about his parents’ divorce. Clare tells him that she’s worried of losing someone she loves, since she’s already lost his mom. However, Nat’s speech made her decide that she needs to let herself love so she doesn’t end up alone. Brandon takes Lily to the airport, where they agree that this was just a one-time thing. Lily admits that she was once married for three weeks, which sounds about right.

Kenny surprises Valerie at the After Dark, where she confronts him for still being with his wife. He assures her that they’re getting a divorce; he’s just keeping his relationship with Val a secret so Mrs. Bannerman can’t use it against him. He also tells Valerie that he’s falling in love with her. David and Donna are awkward with each other, but I guess still friends? Honestly, I don’t know what the point of that scene was. Brandon and Steve talk about having families in the future, and Steve jokingly proposes. Hey, you can’t go wrong with a backup plan.

Brandon, Donna, David, and Steve watch the new Bussichio family together while Kelly takes leftover wedding cake to the hospice. Jimmy questions her about her love life, which is just an excuse for her to talk about Brandon. There’s also some griping about Valerie, and Jimmy advises Kelly not to let Val get to her. She needs to try to keep sadness out of her life so she can enjoy things. After all, life’s short, and who would know that better than our magical, lesson-teaching AIDS patient?

Thoughts: Jimmy is played by Michael Stoyanov, who was Anthony on Blossom. Whoa! Wait, wrong brother.

I wish they hadn’t sped up Joan’s pregnancy – we totally missed getting to see everyone find out, and Nat having a crisis over becoming a father.

Also, why did they wait so long to get married? Who waits until week 38 of a pregnancy? You had nine months! (Well, supposedly.)

I’m not sure if Valerie’s messy hair is a styling choice or if she lost her hairbrush.

Can we go one episode without Clare talking about her mom? Even Joey Potter could manage that once in a while.

Kenny: “You don’t like surprises?” Valerie: “I’d like a little advance notice.” That’s the complete opposite of a surprise, Val.

1 Comment »

  1. Christine said,

    Considering the oldest woman to ever naturally get pregnant and give birth was 57 at the time this show aired, I’m surprised Joan didn’t make some kind of headlines for having one at FIFTY SIX years old. Really, 90210, could we not have just done without this storyline??

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