December 29, 2013
BH90210 7.5, Pledging My Love: Sorry You Have to Think About Steve Naked
Summary: Kenny drives Valerie home from a meeting with investors, traveling through the section of Beverly Hills where there are apparently still milkmen. (No, seriously, I think I saw a milkman.) He takes her to an apartment that he tells her he’s rented for their trysts. It’s Spirit Day at CU, whatever that means, and Tracy is disappointed to have to cover a speech Chancellor Arnold is giving. While everyone’s out on the quad, Steve leads a group of KEG pledges covered in shaving cream in a semi-naked run through the crowd. The sprinklers come on and make them even more naked.
Donna’s the head of Alpha’s rush, and she doesn’t see any qualified pledges in this year’s group. Kelly recognizes a transfer student at the café from a Condor article about a basketball player named Dani appearing in a campus play. Donna thinks she should pledge Alpha. Dani would love to, but she didn’t think Alpha took jocks. At the CU TV studio, Brandon, Mark, and Tracy watch footage of the streakers; Mark thinks they should air it, but Brandon has to be convinced.
David can’t get the classes he wanted because he’s registering late. Valerie gets “life credit” for working at the club, so I guess she’s a business major. David wonders if you have to win a gold medal to get a class you want. Gold medalist Kerri Strug isn’t sure. Either I just took some of Colin’s drugs or Kerri Strug goes to CU. What follows is the most random, pointless scene in…well, in this episode, at least.
Kelly visits Magical, Lesson-Giving AIDS Patient Jimmy at the hospice and invites him to services that weekend for Rosh Hashanah. Jimmy isn’t very in touch with his religion but agrees to go. He laments that he doesn’t have any friends. Dani meets with the pledge…deciders (I don’t know the lingo) but has to leave for work. Alpha sister Ellen doesn’t think she should pledge since she’s so athletic and has no style. Donna would prefer some diversity, which I guess means different shades of white skin.
The footage of the streakers airs on CU’s TV station, surprising Chancellor Arnold, who didn’t know it was captured on tape. As Clare’s leaving, Steve shows up to meet her and her father for dinner, and Clare blasts him for humiliating them. Steve’s proud of himself, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. The chancellor reveals that the dean wants to charge the intra-fraternity council charged with sexual harassment. He’s happy that Brandon got the streakers on tape because it means the administration can find out who they are. Steve’s not so proud of himself anymore.
Kenny’s supposed to meet Valerie for some romance, but he doesn’t show. She calls him while he’s in the car with his wife and son, and he pretends his mom is calling. Donna complains to Kelly about the Alpha sisters’ attitudes toward Dani, which she wants to change. Good luck, Donna. Steve gives Brandon the news about his possible punishment, but Brandon’s too amused to be concerned. He notes that this is actually the third stupid stunt Steve has pulled, after taking Professor Randall’s baseball and the mess with the legacy key.
Kenny shows up at the Walshes’ house to see Valerie, pretending it’s all business so Brandon and Steve don’t get suspicious. As if anyone can get anything over on Brandon. Val refuses to see her boyfriend, which doesn’t make Brandon any less suspicious. Donna tracks down Dani to tell her that she has another chance to impress Alpha in an interview. Dani thinks it’s hopeless, though she would have liked to be known as a pretty girl instead of a jock. Donna offers to give her some beauty tips.
Brandon refuses to hand over the streaking tape to Chancellor Arnold, telling him that he should take the situation less seriously. Mark wants to cooperate with the administration, but Brandon has consulted an ACLU lawyer and wants to stand behind journalistic integrity. Mark’s in charge, though, so he agrees to hand it over. Brandon “offers” to “look” for the tape. The chancellor gives him 24 hours, threatening to shut down the station if he doesn’t come through. After he leaves, Brandon tells Mark that he needs to keep the tape to protect a friend. Mark blasts him for risking the station.
Kelly, David, and Jimmy leave Rosh Hashanah services together, discussing how the holiday is about absolution and forgiveness. By Yom Kippur, names are written in the Book of Life determining who will live and who will die. Yes, yes, Jimmy’s dying – we get it. On campus, Steve assures the pledges that Brandon will take care of everything. Cue Brandon arriving to tell him that he failed. Of course, Steve’s mad at him, but Brandon notes that it was his mess to clean up in the first place, not Brandon’s.
Valerie ambushes Kenny at his office to blast him for skipping their date the night before. He’ll be making up for that right now, thank you. Kelly and Donna give Dani a makeover, even as they recognize that it’s a little anti-feminist. (Though Donna notes that Oprah does this a lot.) They want to show that athletes can be glamorous. Clare meets Steve at the Peach Pit so he can…whine, I guess. I’m not sure why he wanted to see her. She tells him to apologize to her father. Steve’s worried that the streaking will bring down all the Greeks on campus.
Tracy praises Brandon for standing up to Mark, even though Mark’s right that he shouldn’t sacrifice the station for a friend. She offers to use a magnet to damage the tape. Brandon’s resigned to handing the tape over to the administration the next day. Kelly goes to the hospice to see Jimmy, who’s gotten very sick overnight. One of the hospice workers admits that he’s probably not going to make it through the rest of the day. Jimmy tells Kelly that someone must have written his name in the Book of Life in disappearing ink. He knows that his death was set in motion a long time ago, so he doesn’t seem scared. He’s also grateful to have someone with him so he won’t die alone.
Steve goes to Chancellor Arnold to turn himself in, but a secretary tells him he’ll have to wait: “He’s punishing someone else right now.” Brandon and Mark are in with him, so the chancellor tells the dean that those horrible male oppressors are about to get what’s coming to them. He plays the tape, but it just shows static. The chancellor says he’ll just have to tell the dean that the case can’t go forward – after all, everyone cooperated, so there’s nothing left to do. Brandon gives Steve the news that he can keep his mouth shut (though he should really tell him to keep his clothes on).
Donna takes the new, improved Dani back to the pledge deciders (just humor me); she’s all prettified and calling herself Danielle. This time, Ellen and the other snobs think she would make a great addition. If she’d just looked and acted like this the first time around, she wouldn’t have needed a second interview. Dani announces that another sorority already offered her a bid, and she’s accepting. Donna resigns as rush chair because she’s sick of working with people who only judge based on outward appearances.
At the café, Steve continues celebrating his lack of punishment with Brandon, Clare, and Tracy. “I almost told the truth for nothing!” he exclaims. Even Clare doesn’t seem to care anymore. After she and Steve leave, Tracy confirms to Brandon that she used a magnet on the tape after all. The two of them start flirting, so I guess Tracy is Brandon’s girlfriend this season. Poor girl. David visits Kelly at the beach apartment, where she’s mourning Jimmy’s death. He gives her a candle to light for him. Kelly admits that she’s mad at Jimmy for leaving her, but she knows she needs to forgive him. They light the candle together and pray for peace and comfort.
Thoughts: Kenny must be great in bed, because otherwise, I don’t get the appeal.
Ack, Kelly caught Donna’s navel-bearing-shirt disease!
Clare and Steve, BREAK UP! You fight more than you get along!