January 26, 2014
BH90210 7.9, Loser Take All: You Can’t Do Anything Unless Brandon Approves
Summary: Nat has brought Frankie to work, but apparently doesn’t know that when a child is screaming, it’s a good idea to change his diaper. Fortunately for him, Valerie figures it out. Brandon is clearly annoyed, so maybe he shouldn’t have children. Kelly arrives and starts hinting to Brandon that Valerie’s gotten herself into another mess. She tells him all about Valerie’s claim of getting pregnant and having an abortion. Brandon can’t believe Valerie didn’t tell him. Kelly says it’s because it’s not true.
Later, at the beach apartment, Mel tells Kelly and Donna about David’s inheritance from his grandfather. He’s worried about the money changing David – he’s already been acting out, and now he can afford to act out even more. Mark calls, apparently just to flirt. Donna assures Mel that she’ll keep an eye on David. Over at the Walshes’, Steve talks about crew, so that’s still going on. Brandon confronts him about keeping Valerie’s secrets, and Steve lists the reasons he and Kelly think Val’s lying.
On campus, Kelly gleefully tells Valerie that she told Brandon about the “baby” and “abortion.” Valerie sticks with her claim that it all happened. Clare and Dick watch Steve and his team row; Clare’s impressed with their progress, but Dick is still bitter and macho. He advises Steve to call off the bet now, but Steve would rather up the stakes: Loser serves dinner to the winner’s frat for a week. Dick agrees, tacking on dinner service for the winner’s dates.
At CUTV, Brandon bounces pregnancy/abortion scenarios off of Tracy, coming to the conclusion that the reason Valerie didn’t tell him anything is probably because she was lying. Tracy suggests that he talk to Kenny. Donna catches up with David and is surprised to hear that he’s enjoying one of his history classes. She’s happy that he’s happy. He credits her for his mood change, since she helped get him back into school.
Brandon meets with Kenny, who tells him that he “fell in love with the wrong girl.” Brandon notes that Kenny’s still with his wife. Kenny says he cared about Valerie, but she just wanted money for an abortion, rather than his support. Brandon confirms that he gave her $100,000 in an attempt to get her to stay away from his family. Kenny admits that he never found out if Valerie was really pregnant, but even if she wasn’t, the money was worth it to make her go away.
David takes Donna on a shopping spree for totally unnecessary things (like an electric toilet seat warmer and an astronaut pen). When she tells him he’s being foolish, he gets loud, then considers going on a big trip. Even though Donna keeps looking down on his spending, David kisses her. She admits that she’s been trying to keep an eye on him for Mel. David finds a scratch on Donna’s car when it comes back from valet parking, but the valet claims it was there before. Donna isn’t sure, so now David feels like he’s all alone.
Blah blah, Steve and Clare, what have I done to deserve this torture? At home, Brandon chastises Valerie for not telling him about her “pregnancy” and “abortion.” He brings up the $100,000, another secret she kept from him. Now he can’t trust Valerie. He orders her to give the money back, since she committed fraud and extortion. If she doesn’t repay Kenny, she has to move out. Kelly has dinner with Mark, and he urges her to talk about herself, since she never does. She admits that she had a drug problem, but Mark doesn’t see it as a dealbreaker.
Tracy goes to the Walshes’ to see Brandon and finds Valerie packing up to move out. Tracy’s figured out that Valerie was the person Brandon was talking to her about, and she offers her sympathy. She urges Val to tell Brandon the truth. Valerie claims that she already did, but since Brandon doesn’t think she’s worthy of his friendship anymore, they’re done. Tracy says that Valerie’s virtue is worth more than she thinks. Val then goes to Kenny’s and gives him back the $100,000.
David shows up at the beach apartment in the middle of the night, wet from swimming in the ocean. He’s talked to a mechanic about Donna’s car and found her a Porsche as a temporary replacement. Donna expresses her concern over his behavior, but David blows her off to go to a club. Steve, Clare, kill me. I think she wants him back. Kill me again.
Valerie unpacks her stuff at the house, telling Brandon that she gave the money back. Now the After Dark is in danger of going bankrupt, but at least Brandon approves of her behavior now. She asks him when she’s been disloyal to him. Brandon gets her to admit that she lied about the pregnancy and abortion. Daddy is disappointed, Valerie. She says that Kenny made promises, and she wanted to believe him because he reminded her of her father. She tells Brandon that she can’t live up to his expectations. He tells her to straighten up and fly right.
Time for the crew race. I would have to put forth effort to care less about this. Donna and Kelly are there to watch, and Donna feels bad for telling Mel how David’s been acting. She thinks his manic behavior has nothing to do with the money, and worries that he’s inherited his mother’s bipolar disorder. The race begins, but the girls aren’t sure who to root for. Kelly doesn’t think Steve’s team will win. She’s right, and they don’t, but it’s a close race. Steve’s a gracious loser and promises to honor the bet. Clare’s proud of him, like she’s his mom or something.
Brandon goes to Tracy’s room to thank her for giving Valerie advice. I bet Tracy’s virtuous enough for Brandon’s approval. Mark calls Kelly and tells her he’s falling in love with her. I think we’re supposed to care. Clare and her crimped hair go to the Walshes’ house to tell Steve that she’s dumped Dick and wants to get back together. Oh, Clare! Why must you do this to me? David finds Valerie at the After Dark and learns of her money troubles. He offers to buy half of the club so it can stay open. They seal the deal with a makeout session.
Thoughts: New rule, guys: We have to tell Brandon everything or he’ll pout and he won’t be our friend anymore.
Brandon: “[Let’s] say you’re pregnant.” Tracy: “I’m pregnant.” Brandon: “That’s not funny.” Me: “Yes, it is.”
Mark has even less personality than Colin. Kelly’s taste in men is really going downhill.
How did Donna recognize David’s manic behavior before Kelly, who’s a psych major?
The shopping list on Tracy’s door: “D cells for pocket rocket.” Holy cow. I’m guessing someone on her hall wrote that as a joke.