March 9, 2014
BH90210 7.15, Phantom of CU: CU Security is a Joke
Summary: Kelly’s breakup with Mark has left her mopey, so she took the day off of school to hang out on the beach. Now she’s in a crafty mood (meaning she wants to do crafts, not plot and scheme). Clare offers to fix her up with someone, and Donna encourages Kelly to move on. She should try something new, like Donna is, as CU’s new weathergirl. Clare’s all, “It’s not like you’re going to get back together with Brandon…. Oops, was that out loud?”
Donna nervously gets ready for her weathergirl debut as Brandon and David try to help her calm down. Her segment is called Wardrobe Weather, and it’s about knowing the weather so you know what to wear. She does well, even if she advises guys to wear flannel. It’s a clever idea, and a cute twist on a typical weather report.
Steve’s been sentenced to work with CU’s maintenance department and security as punishment for his plagiarism scandal. That means working nights, then having to go to class during the day. Also, there are rats. The head of maintenance warns Steve that there’s a homeless guy hanging around campus, playing pranks. (This is the titular Phantom of CU.) If Steve can catch him, he might get his sentence commuted.
CUTV’s camera guy is a lech, but another crew guy, Evan, is nice to Donna. She’s considering fixing Kelly up with him. At the Walshes’, Tom does After Dark business, telling Brandon that he’s trying to book his old friend Donna Lewis. (Ooh, name-dropping! Aren’t you the big man?) Brandon doesn’t seem that thrilled to have a houseguest, and Tom’s trying to be sensitive to that, but he’s not exactly eager to find a new place to stay while he’s in town.
Kelly meets Neil, her blind date as arranged by Clare. He’s pre-med, on the debate team, and British. He also thinks Kelly is hot. His hair looks silly, so I’m going to picture Tom Hiddleston whenever he’s on screen. Steve dozes off during his night shift in the security shack, and the Phantom of CU swaps his book for a comic book (the Phantom, fittingly) and a note telling him who pulled the trade.
Neil is boring and pretentious at dinner, but Kelly’s too polite to think up an excuse to leave early. David is skeptical about Tom’s work at the After Dark, especially since the only person who’s been able to vouch for him is Valerie. If Donna Lewis doesn’t show, David’s out a lot of money. Donna points out that Tom’s trying to prove himself, so he won’t want to screw up. She gets a phone call from someone using a Scream-like voice changer and talking about kissing her. David decides to spend the night.
Steve meets up with Brandon and Tracy at the Peach Pit the next morning, struggling with the idea of staying awake all day for classes. He tells them about the Phantom and their encounter the night before. Clare arrives and gives Tracy a list of seniors’ names to read on the news (she’s in charge of getting all their senior pictures). Kelly tells Donna about her disastrous evening; it’s completely turned her off of blind dates. Donna tries to change her mind and agree to go out with Evan. They talk about the mystery caller, and Kelly warns that Donna might have a number of weird fans.
David and Tom argue at work, and Valerie tries to make peace, still sure that Tom can deliver Donna Lewis. If he doesn’t, David wants him gone. Valerie tells Tom that the gang isn’t sure about him because he’s her friend, and she doesn’t have a great history with introducing the gang to friendly people. Tom tries to kiss her, but Valerie reminds him that she doesn’t want a relationship (even though they’re sleeping together). Then she says he can kiss her. I don’t get it.
Donna tells Tracy and Brandon about her caller, and Tracy assures her that the wacky calls she used to get never went past that stage. Brandon wants to tell campus security anyway. Tracy thinks the call was from a frat guy just playing a trick, and that Brandon’s overreacting. Brandon tells her that Donna was almost raped a couple years ago, so he wants to take precautions.
Donna tells Evan that Kelly doesn’t want to go out with him, and he’s disappointed but jokes that Donna’s the one he wants anyway. The lecherous camera guy from earlier teases that Evan really must be in love with Donna since he’s always doing things for her. I’m sure Evan is a totally nice guy and has nothing to do with Donna’s weird phone call…
That night, the Phantom shows up at the security shack again and tries to tie Steve’s shoelaces together, but Steve’s only pretending to be asleep. He chases the Phantom into a storage area that’s been serving as his home and discovers that he’s a student named Larry. He’s a senior and wants to be the first person in his family to graduate college. He begs Steve not to turn him in and ruin that. Steve agrees, admitting that Larry is a lot like him.
Donna gets a hang-up phone call the next morning, and even though she’s not sure it was from the same caller as before, she decides to change her phone number. She tries to guilt Kelly into changing her mind about going on a date with Evan. Donna gets her to agree to a double date with her and David. Clare has heard from all the seniors about their pictures, except one: Larry. She doesn’t know where he lives.
Maintenance does, though, and Steve goes to Larry’s hideout with the head of maintenance. He thinks they should leave Larry alone so he can finish up school; then he’ll be out of their hair. He covers up Larry’s computer so maintenance won’t take it. The double-daters are going to the Donna Lewis concert, so it looks like Tom came through. Evan is very gentlemanly, so he’s probably a serial killer or something.
Steve returns Larry’s computer to him, asking how he ended up in this situation. Larry explains that he grew up poor and ran out of money for school last semester. His part-time job didn’t pay enough, so he had to move out of his dorm. Steve gives him some money so he can find a place to stay for the rest of the year. Larry’s reluctant to accept charity but can’t say no. All Steve wants in return is for him to get his senior picture taken so Clare will have done her job.
At the After Dark, Donna Lewis sings that only song she ever sang in the ’90s. David still isn’t Team Tom, but Valerie orders him to apologize for not trusting Tom. If he doesn’t, she’ll drop him as her partner. (I would assume he’d take his money back in that case, so that’s a stupid threat on her part. But no one ever accused Valerie of thinking things through.)
Clare learns that Larry is the Phantom and tells Steve to talk him back out of having his picture taken. Steve praises Larry for helping him see how great he has it and how he needs to look after other people. David apologizes to Tom, probably because it’s better than hearing Valerie whine. Then Val and Tom ask David to let him move in (since Mark is moving out and leaving CU). David agrees, probably because, again, it’s better than hearing Valerie whine.
Kelly and Evan chat at the Condor’s Nest, and he asks her out on a second date that night. She turns him down, but only because she thinks it’s too much too soon. She does admire him for taking the risk. Steve and Clare take Larry’s picture; he’s dressed as the Phantom but won’t get in trouble since the yearbook doesn’t come out until the week of graduation.
Donna and Evan listen to a recording of one of her previous forecasts, but it’s been replaced with a message from the creepy caller. He promises that they’ll be together soon and he’ll make her happy…even if he has to kill her. Donna’s justifiably spooked, and Evan quickly cancels her forecast for the day so she doesn’t have to go on the air.
Thoughts: Donna as a weathergirl only makes me think of Karen in Mean Girls.
Remember Donna Lewis? …Oh, you don’t? Eh, don’t worry about it. P.S. She looks like J.K. Rowling.
I got so little of an impression from Tom in the last episode that when he showed up in this one, I thought, “What’s that guy in Brandon’s house?”