June 15, 2014
BH90210 7.27, I Only Have Eyes for You: Grand Theft Auto Beverly Hills
Summary: Brandon and Kelly wake up together in his bed, so they’re definitely back together. Down the hall, Valerie is annoyed to hear them talking. Steve, however, is happy for his friend. On campus, Donna and Clare remind Kelly that they had plans to watch a gymnastics championship together that night, but Kelly already has plans with Brandon. Donna and Clare aren’t sure they like her cancelling to be with a guy. Elsewhere, Brandon and Steve confirm their plans to go to an auto show with David the next day.
Donna complains to her friends about a hard class she’s taking. Then Clare complains again about Kelly ditching them for Brandon. Valerie reveals that she was on her high school gymnastics team and wants to see the championship Clare and Donna are watching, so Donna invites her over. Alone at the Walshes’, Kelly goes into Valerie’s room to close a window, having to stop herself from reading Val’s diary. She wonders why there are no Malone family pictures on the walls.
At the beach apartment, the girls enjoy each other’s company and show off some gymnastics moves. (Tori Spelling can do the splits!) They plan to score the routines themselves. Valerie goes into Kelly’s room to get a marker and also does some diary-snooping, only stopping when the others call her back into the room. She also pours her champagne in Kelly’s flowers.
At the Walshes’, Kelly tells Brandon she doesn’t even like gymnastics, but she does feel bad for ditching her friends. They come across a puppet show on TV and Kelly reminisces about watching The Magic Morton Hour when she was a kid. Magic Morton hosted puppet skits, introducing each by waving his magic wand. Kelly thought he could make anything happen. She asked her father to send away for a wand so she could make her parents love each other, but she never got one. Brandon promises to get one for her.
Later in the evening, now a little tipsy, the girls goof off, then invite Valerie to spend the night so she doesn’t have to find a way home. Clare and Donna realize too late that Kelly probably won’t be happy about Val sleeping in her room. Valerie finds some of Bill’s business cards, then settles in to read Kelly’s journal. In the morning, she puts the diary back where it was, pocketing one of the cards. Kelly’s like, “It’s totally better that you spent the night in my room instead of driving home drunk and dying in a bloody, fiery wreck.” She also invites everyone to dinner that night.
Apparently Joan’s cousin used to be a TV grip, so Nat calls Magic Morton on Brandon’s behalf. Brandon pretends to be a big fan of the show so he can get a meeting with Magic Morton that afternoon. Before that, he, Steve, and David head to the auto show. I take a nap. When I wake up, Steve is asking David how things are going with Donna – in other words, have they hooked up yet? No, they have not. There’s a contest going on giving the winner a chance to test-drive an electric car. Steve bribes a guy to let them take a drive without entering.
Donna, Clare, and Valerie go to an aerobics class so we can see how much the three of them have together. Meanwhile, Kelly starts work on dinner; she’s cooking everyone’s favorite dishes. The guys get a code to punch in to make the electric car start, and don’t get suspicious that the auto-show guy doesn’t want anything in return and seemingly trusts them enough to let them go out alone. Only two will fit in the car, so David stays behind while Brandon and Steve go to Magic Morton’s. Just after they leave, the auto-show guy gets fired.
The girls hang out in a sauna. I’m so bored. Donna’s like, “Why don’t you hang out with us more often, Val? Oh, right, because you and Kelly would kill each other.” Valerie says it’s fine if Kelly talks badly about her, since she also talks badly about Clare and Donna. For instance, she hates Clare’s hair and thinks Donna’s only in college to get her Mrs. degree. Clare and Donna don’t believe her, but Valerie tells them it’s all in Kelly’s diary.
Brandon and Steve get pulled over in the electric car, which was reported stolen. They get arrested for grand theft auto. David meets them at the police department and announces that the guy who “loaned” them the car has disappeared. Clare starts getting self-conscious about her hair, and Donna tells her that Valerie could have lied. Besides, roommates always do things that bug each other. Clare starts to wonder how much Kelly complains about her to other people. Realizing that Val was telling the truth, Clare goes looking for Kelly’s diary, but Kelly took it with her. The girls decide they don’t want to go to Kelly’s dinner party.
Brandon finally makes it to Magic Morton’s, but Morton’s annoyed that Brandon didn’t respect him enough to be on time. Brandon guilts him by talking about breaking promises to children, and Kelly and Bill’s relationship. It works. The dinner party’s a bust, since Valerie’s the only person to show up, and she’s late. Kelly’s immediately suspicious of what she knows about Donna and Clare’s current feelings toward her. Valerie taunts that she read Kelly’s journal and told her friends what she wrote.
The next morning, Donna and Clare feel bad about getting mad at Kelly for expressing her feelings in a journal. Kelly tells them that she writes about them because they’re so close; who else would she write about? But she’s grateful to have them in her life, even when they bug her. Donna and Clare come up with a plan to make things up to Kelly; it involves Steve, David, and food. David tells Donna that couples tend to spend a lot of time together when they first pair up. Donna admits that she feels jealous of Kelly and Brandon’s intimacy, but promises that she won’t remain a virgin forever.
Kelly goes to see Brandon, who presents her with a wand. He’s also collected the letter Bill sent Magic Morton, which Morton kept all these years, sorry the wand was never sent. Kelly reads the letter and is touched by the lengths her father went to for her. The others make an apology meal for Kelly/celebratory meal for Kelly and Brandon’s reunion. Clare is cold to Valerie for causing a rift between the girls. Val goes up to her room to mope, looks at Bill’s business card, and comes up with a revenge plan: investing with Kelly’s father.
Thoughts: Magic Morton is played by Dom DeLuise.
Brandon asks why Kelly wanted a wand: “Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, say no more.” Between this and the note on Tracy’s door, I’m starting to see a theme.
Clare, if your hair is the biggest complaint Kelly has about you, you should be grateful. After all, I’ve said much worse things about you.
I caught a few minutes of the new TNT show Murder in the First, and Kathleen Robertson (Clare) hasn’t aged in 17 years. Don’t worry about your hair, girl. You are fabulous.