November 23, 2014

BH90210 8.18, Rebound: We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 4:21 pm by Jenn

How is this any different from what Donna usually wears?

How is this any different from what Donna usually wears?

Summary: It’s Lame Slow Jam Night at the After Dark – oh, wait, that’s Jasper’s Law performing. David insists that they’re awesome and Noah should let them play there more. He and Valerie agree that giving them a showcase will get them another record deal, since they were dropped from their label. The band wants to play David’s song, but David doesn’t think it’ll impress Noah. Val wonders who inspired the song (we know it was Donna).

Brandon drinks at the bar, still mopey over being dumped by Kelly. Noah tells him to move on already. David finds Mark smoking pot outside and warns him not to screw up his big audition. Mark ignores him, then leaves off to court a DUI. Intern Jeff brings Kelly flowers, which means he’s at the beach apartment when Brandon leaves a message for Kelly. Brandon, take the hint already.

The next day, David’s feeling less confident about Jasper’s Law getting a showcase at the After Dark. Brandon bugs Valerie about doing a restaurant review for the Beverly Beat, which she hasn’t had time to write since she’s so busy doing her community service. She adds that there haven’t been any developments with Kelly and Jeff. David learns that Mark was in a car accident, and now the band’s future is uncertain.

On the set of a photo shoot for her line, Child’s Play, Donna’s tasked with wrangling a temperamental child model. The girl, Sasha, agrees to cooperate if she can have Donna’s bracelets. Donna refuses to hand them over, telling Sasha’s stage mother that they shouldn’t give in to all of her demands. Somehow, the mother refrains from telling Donna to mind her own business and not tell her how to parent.

Janet tells Brandon that Steve isn’t acting like himself – he hasn’t been leering at women since Carly left. Brandon suggests that Steve talk to an old KEG buddy whose fiancée has connections with the Dodgers and might be able to get him an interview with Mike Piazza. Kelly and Jeff give tough love to a patient with Chlamydia. She’s hesitant to tell her boyfriend since she contracted the STD by cheating on him. Valerie overhears Jeff asking Kelly to dinner, and she quickly calls Brandon to invite him to dinner at the same restaurant.

Steve gets his favor from his friend’s fiancée, Christy, then confides that he just broke up with a girlfriend. He’s trying to remind himself that there are lots of other women out there, and they might not have stayed together anyway. Christy takes this as personal advice and decides to ditch her fiancé. Noah won’t give Jasper’s Law a showcase since Mark hurt his arm and can’t play his keyboard. Jasper himself suggests that David fill in for him. Mark reports that he’s suing Noah for letting him be overserved.

Kelly spots Brandon at the restaurant and expresses doubt that they wound up there coincidentally. Sasha’s mother asks Donna to keep her distance since her attitude has negatively affected Sasha. Donna complains to someone on the set that Sasha’s mother isn’t doing a very good job of raising her. Brandon and Valerie run into Christy in their kitchen and think she spent the night with Steve. Brandon and Steve urge her to call him and tell him the wedding’s off. Christy flips out over how perfect everything was, and how it scared her.

David tries to write a song about Valerie but isn’t very inspired. Mark joins him at the Peach Pit and asks David not to tell anyone that he smoked pot before his accident. If he keeps his mouth shut, he has a chance with the band. Kelly and Jeff counsel Chlamydia girl’s boyfriend, who’s understandably mad that she cheated on him. There’s some stuff about breaking trust and winning it back, because everything has to relate back to Kelly.

Donna complains more about Sasha, but it still doesn’t get her anywhere – Sasha’s already been signed as the face of Child’s Play, there’s a lot of money going into everything, and she can’t be replaced. Donna, however, can, because the moneymakers can’t risk her screwing things up. Harry shows up at the Walshes’ looking for Christy, having learned about her freak-out from the maid of honor. Christy begs Brandon to help her escape without Harry seeing her.

David asks Noah some questions about how much the bar serves, and they wonder what they’re supposed to do about customers who might have been overserved. They don’t know whether Mark was drinking before he came to the club. Also, he was the one who chose to drive drunk. David happily says that he hopes Noah gets in a lot of trouble. You stay classy, David.

Harry yells at Steve for accidentally talking Christy out of getting married. Oh, the wedding’s tomorrow, by the way. Harry can’t accept that Christy might be having second thoughts because he can’t imagine not being with her. He would keep loving her even if she moved to another state and they never saw each other again. Steve realizes that he doesn’t love Carly as much as Harry loves Christy.

Donna and David mope together at the Peach Pit, and she complains that she didn’t do anything wrong. All she did was tell a parent how to parent! She warns David to think twice the next time he wants to do the right thing. David gets that, since he’s in the position of doing the right thing or getting to play with Jasper’s Law. Donna thinks that if you do something wrong to get what you want, it’s probably not worth it.

Christy continues flipping out about her relationship and not being sure she’s ready for the commitment of marriage. Brandon tells her about his own relationship and how he screwed it up. Yet somehow, Christy still has sympathy for him. Chlamydia girl returns to the clinic, telling Kelly that her boyfriend’s still mad but wants to give her a second chance. Does everyone get the parallel here? Can we move on? Good.

Donna returns to the photo shoot, now willing to spoil Sasha so she’ll do her job. This involves dressing up like a clown. Have some dignity, Donna. After learning that Christy’s still hanging out at the Walshes’, Valerie fakes car problems and gets Kelly to drive her home. Noah admits to David that the After Dark may have overserved Mark, so he’s going to settle the lawsuit. He knows how damaging a DUI can be, and he hates that he put someone else in that position.

Brandon and Steve fix Christy and Harry’s relationship (of course), and just as Christy’s giving Brandon a thank-you hug, Valerie and Kelly arrive. Brandon quickly assures Kelly that nothing’s going on with him and Christy. Kelly says that she can’t trust him and will always think the worst. Donna gets her job back, because of course she does, and Sasha’s mother thanks her for being so awesome, because of course she is. Donna asks for the ability to set children’s work hours.

Valerie wraps up her community service, which means she’ll have to find a new place to mess with Kelly. She tries to make Kelly think that Brandon still can’t be trusted. Kelly tells Jeff that the guy they saw at the restaurant was her ex, and he cheated on her. Jeff is completely willing to take things slowly. Kelly kisses him, convinced that she can trust him. Val leaves, happy to have accomplished her goals.

Christy and Harry get married, and Steve tells Brandon that he knew Harry wouldn’t have let her go. He’s realized that since he didn’t follow Carly to Montana, it must not have been true love. And now he’s over his mopey period and can start leering at girls again. At the beach apartment, Donna hears a message Brandon left for Kelly about going to the wedding. She and Kelly talk about how they think Val was trying to screw things up more. Kelly doesn’t want to hear Brandon’s message.

David calls Jasper and Mark over to the Walshes’ to tell Jasper that Mark was smoking pot right before the accident. Mark still blames the accident on being overserved. Jasper would rather have David in the band, though, so either way, Mark’s out. Later, David reports the news to Noah and Donna, telling them he thinks the lawsuit will go away. He appreciates Donna’s advice about doing the right thing. Then Noah and David call a truce, so everyone’s happy.

Brandon goes to the beach apartment and announces to Kelly that he screwed up their relationship because things were too perfect. He was afraid of settling down and panicked. Brandon asks for another chance, saying again that Kelly owes him one. He tells Kelly he’ll do whatever she wants. “I want you to leave me alone,” she replies, closing the door in his face.

Thoughts: ’90s music alert: “I Want You Back” by ‘N Sync.

So Valerie’s meddling just to be a jerk? There’s not actually something in it for her? I’m not surprised or anything; I just want it clear.

Donna, sweetie? When you’re fired, you don’t get to go back to your job. That’s not how the world works. Also, I know Sasha’s a brat, and I know her mom sucks at being a mom, but unless there’s abuse or neglect involved, it’s none of your business.

I was going to go on this whole rant about Brandon and how he doesn’t deserve anything from Kelly and how his excuses are awfully convenient, but I really don’t want to devote any more energy to him. So I’ll just tell him to shut up.

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