January 18, 2015
BH90210 8.26, All That Glitters: How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Deodorant and Fake Diamonds
Summary: Brandon’s nervous about getting to meet with a journalist named Peter Raitt, who wants to talk about some stadium. He’s also a jerk to Kelly because he thinks being a journalist is so much more important than what she does. Steve brags about the hot sex he and Jill had the night before – she’s basically moved into the Walshes’ house. Brandon doesn’t want to hear it, but Steve thinks he’s just jealous because he and Kelly are like an old married couple now.
On his boat, Noah gives Donna a diamond bracelet and asks her to live with him. Somewhere, Felice starts screaming her head off but doesn’t know why. Donna wants to hold off on living with someone again until she’s married, since things didn’t go so well with David. Noah tells her to keep the jewelry, assuring her that he understands her hesitation. David’s back to writing music, and thanks to royalty checks from his hit song, he can do whatever he wants, which is his dream. Valerie tells him that she set up a meeting for him with a filmmaker named Kyle Scott.
At the clinic, a man named Chris complains that since his mother’s work schedule has changed, he can’t work the night shift there anymore. Chris is developmentally challenged and is determined to hold a job so he can eventually pay for his own place to live. Kelly promises to help him sort things out. David meets with Kyle, who isn’t scoring a movie, as David thought, but is looking for a jingle for a deodorant commercial. David isn’t sure it’s worth it to make a little money.
Kelly and Valerie admire Donna’s bracelet, which Valerie thinks cost anywhere from $10,000 to $20,000. She and Kelly snipe at each other about the worth of men who can afford expensive gifts. She offers to set Donna up with a jeweler to get the bracelet appraised so she can get it insured. Brandon meets with Peter, who wants them to share a byline on a story. Brandon seems tempted to aspire for a bigger job than just working at the Beverly Beat.
Kelly visits Chris at home to tell his mother that she was able to get him a day job at the clinic. Mrs. Myers objects to him having a more stressful job, since he needs extra help. Kelly promises to provide that help and keep him from getting overwhelmed. Jill makes herself at home in Steve’s room, redecorating according to her tastes. Goodbye, Shaq poster! Valerie accompanies Donna to meet with the appraiser, who reveals that the diamonds are fake. Val’s like, “I guess Noah doesn’t love you $20,000 worth!”
Valerie’s mood quickly drops when David blasts her for setting him up to write a stupid commercial jingle. Kelly helps Chris with his new tasks, and he repays her with a picture of zambonis, one of his favorite photos. Steve tells Brandon and Janet about Jill’s flaws, like calling him Steven and being too much of a perfectionist. Jill shows up just then to tell him she got them opera tickets. Steve adds “likes opera” to his mental list of her flaws. Valerie’s been doing David’s taxes, and she tells him that he owes a bunch of money, so his royalty checks aren’t going to go very far.
Brandon and Kelly have lunch with Peter, who’s just met with the developer who’s building the stadium they’re writing about. The guys are very optimistic about their story. Kelly thinks they should write about Chris, who wants to work into an apartment where he would have a support system but would still live on his own. Brandon loses interest when Peter says it would be too soft of a story. Kelly decides to leave early, blasting Brandon for sucking up to Peter.
Kelly goes back to the clinic, where Chris gets distressed when he makes a mistake. He thinks his mother was right about the day shift being too complicated for him. On the boat, Noah gives Donna a diamond necklace. She tells him he doesn’t need to show his love with jewelry, but Noah says it’s the perfect reflection of his love. Donna’s like, “Your love is best expressed through the giving of fake jewelry? Awesome.”
Steve and Jill come home from the opera while Brandon works late on his story. Kelly’s also out late, having gone looking for Chris. She feels bad that things went wrong after she promised Mrs. Myers that everything would be okay. Kelly admits that she feels like she’s holding Brandon back from the career he wants. Brandon assures her that he doesn’t regret the work choices he’s made. She knows he’s unhappy, though.
Valerie taunts Donna for not confronting Noah about the fake jewelry because she’s afraid of what he’ll say. She pockets the necklace without Donna seeing. Peter invites Brandon to go to a Kings game with him while he’s talking to the developer. This storyline is so boring. Steve tells Brandon and Janet that he wants to break up with Jill, but is hesitant because she’s so in love with him. Brandon thinks he should take advantage of the opportunity to dump a woman before she can dump him.
Kelly goes back to Chris’ to apologize to Mrs. Myers for how disastrous things were at work. He’s playing a hockey video game, and Mrs. Myers mentions that her other son used to take him to hockey games all the time before he moved across the country. She wishes there were a team Chris could play on. Steve practices breaking up with Jill while Janet gives him feedback. When it comes time for the real breakup, Steve just tells Jill that he doesn’t want to go to the ballet that night. She then gives him a picture of herself for their one-month anniversary.
Valerie goes back to the beach apartment to tell Donna she got the necklace appraised – it’s fake, too. She thinks Donna will thank her someday for revealing the truth. Kelly arranges for Brandon and Peter to take Chris to the Kings game and have him skate with the team. Just then, Peter announces that he’s been contacted about a big political story and has to run off to D.C. He’s backburnering the story he and Brandon were working on. Kelly asks about Chris, but Peter doesn’t consider him a priority.
David works on the jingle, needing the money now that he owes so much in taxes. Valerie doesn’t think he should feel ashamed of having to compromise to make a living. Donna finally asks Noah about the fake diamonds, which he insists are real. He’s offended that she would accuse him of lying. Donna asks if he invited her to live with him out of convenience, which I don’t get. Noah tells her that the jewelry belonged to his grandmother; it was the only thing she owned before her marriage, and she gave it to him because it meant something to her.
Kelly gives Chris the bad news that he won’t be able to go to the Kings game. Chris is upset that she broke another promise. Brandon offers to take Chris ice-skating in another rink. Jill visits Steve at work to tell him that she’s been trying really hard, but she can’t keep dating him since they don’t have anything in common. Steve thinks that’s a dumb reason to break up. Janet’s like, “Different method, same result,” since he wanted to break up anyway. She urges him to find a woman he can be friends with first, then have a relationship with. (Pssst, Steve: She means herself.)
Donna goes to the boat to make up with Noah, giving him back the jewelry. She promises that she never wanted to find out how much they cost; she got the bracelet appraised for insurance purposes, and Val took the necklace herself. Donna knows that she only did that to try to drive them apart. Noah decided not to tell Donna where the jewelry came from because he didn’t want to scare her off after she declined to move in with him. His grandmother told him to give them to someone he truly loved, so he did. Donna promises that she didn’t care that they were fake.
Brandon, Kelly, Chris, and Mrs. Myers go to the ice rink, where Chris happily takes a ride on a zamboni. David plays his jingle ideas for Kyle, who doesn’t think any of them are right for the ad. David then plays him a song he wrote for Valerie. Kyle thinks it’s perfect, and tells David that no one needs to know the truth behind the song. While the guys have some zamboni fun times, Mrs. Myers thanks Kelly for doing such nice things for Chris.
David tells Valerie that Kyle’s using the song he wrote her for the commercial. She wanted him to compromise for his career, but not like this. He reluctantly promises not to sell his songs for her again. Chris ends up with a job at the ice rink, which means he gets to skate whenever he wants. Brandon tells Kelly that he’s less eager to be like Peter now that he knows what being a major journalist is like.
Thoughts: Some episodes Kelly’s annoying, and then there are episodes like this, where she goes out of her way to do something nice for someone who deserves it. Why can’t she be like this all the time?
Brandon: “I’ve been at the same weekly paper for some time now.” What, six months? Poor little college grad with his dream job right out of college and a major award just a few weeks ago. Not to mention that his parents own the house he lives in, so he doesn’t pay rent. It must be so hard to have things that other people would fight you for.
“I don’t do armpit music!” Oh, but you do, David.